Here we go. More unexpurgated chat about our darling angels, all of whom are gifted and have exceptionally calm and admirably-coping parents.
so boutique spa type hotel research Mucky?
Off to bed, another long drive tomorrow
Something like that LVB
Actually I phoned the nursery on our road which I've REALLY wanted the girls to go to yesterday and it turns out they have spaces for the girls to attend 2x days per week starting in October (she thinks; is phoning to confirm on Monday).
It's sent me into a bit of a headspin
and is interfering with my boutique hotel research because according to their website the fees for children pre-age 3 are just £4 per day less than over the age of 3. Given that where they are now, they will be entitled to 4 mornings and one whole day FREE from January, I'm a bit concerned - surely this can't represent the reduced price after the childcare 'vouchers' or whatever they are that start from age 3??? Annoyingly my research is proving fruitless, can't find any references to it online. I know from talking to others that when they offer you a place you have to decide really quickly so they can then offer it to someone else (on the vast and now closed due to oversubscription) waiting list so I want to have my decision ready when she calls. Bah.
It's a strange set up because in any other situation I think I'd definitely opt to stay where we are. But this nursery is
a) a 30 second walk from home
b) goes up to age 7 so once there they'd stay, all being well
c) almost every child in the very close vicinity goes there and I am desperate for the girls (and me) to make some friends since we've arrived late to the party on that front
d) everyone I know whose children go there speak very highly of it, say they can't fault it, and it has a reputation for being a relaxed and happy place
Phew, had to get that off my chest. Will see what I can find out...
Sorry meant the prices for age 3+ are £4 less...
I would just ask her mucky. My (limited) understanding is that the 'free' hours start the term after they turn 3 and are paid for by the state so to speak so it makes no difference how expensive the nursery is, and it's not the nursery themselves who are offering it for free iyswim... Ignore if this makes no sense or you've already covered this, have only skin read as am in car half having a discussion about how to smuggle a bottle of fizz into the race ground
Yes, thanks for sharing that Kate. I know I was really scared of pnd, esp after seeing a 'not the type' friend suffer badly. Really brought it home how it can get anyone & I consider myself v lucky to have escaped.
Yup, was pretty
silently mad with dp about the wristband, esp considering we'd had a discussion about leaving it on. Got ils here at mo & mil agrees & insisted we get another. So, I'm having a cuppa in peace while they all safari... then wristband saga will recommence .
Not sure our nursery costs change at all when they turn 3 ladym & haven't looked into how the 'free hours' thing works. Cos our 2 decided to go to term+ we missed the cut-off for summer term funding so will be paying full costs til Sept next year.--Not that that is relevant, nor am I bitter --
Friend's dd was 2 last week of March tarti
so qualifies for summer term funding too. We had to smile slightly about the toilet training since she had her to Dr at same time worried that she never wees cos she doesn't drink much . Do think they have cracked it tho.
But how can that be ALL - the nursery bit I mean. I so do NOT get it. From age 3 (or yes, the start of the term after they turn 3) you are meant to be entitled to 15 hours of nursery education per child per week. Surely this must make a difference to the cost?
tarti you are right I need to speak to the woman, I just wanted to be ready with our decision when she calls. From research I think we will be entitled to those 15 hours (during term time) and the nursery deduct it from your monthly invoice (or something). Still not clear really and certainly not specifically with our nursery.
Ah yes, sorry - meant the nursery don't charge less per hr when they turn 3. So if it's £40 per day now, it will be then too. Difference is just who pays. So gov will pay the 15 hrs and we top up to pay the rest so yes, overall costs will be much reduced to us. Tis my unresearched undwrstanding. Dunno how it works for diff priced nurseries? If 15 hrs regardless it a ceiling cost per hr?
In Liverpool so will be quick, the nursery the girls are going to you get a discount per term from the term after they turn 3, This is a private nursery and it's quite a big saving, I'd just ask Mucky, if you can afford it, I'd choose that nursery, it sounds perfect
I have no idea, I think I may have been panicking because I am so keen for them to go there, but there's no WAY I can justify paying through the nose for it when it becomes free for them to stay where they are in January.
Having said that, a local pre-prep/nursery doesn't "accept" or deal with or whatever the correct phrase is the free hours thing, so you pay full whack for them to go there - I guess the main reason people do that is to guarantee getting their children into the school bit, which is quite competitive. It's a bloomin' minefield!
Oh, ha ha ha! I have just left a long comment on the last thread! Didn't realize this one had been started properly yet
ALL I literally cannot wait to find out whether your DS is obsessed with this wrist band too !!
Mucky That nursery sounds bloody perfect, but I totally know what you mean about finding it hard to justify paying all the money. Our nursery is the same with the funding - they have always said from Day 1 that they don't offer the free 15 hours. We're keeping DTrips there for 1 day a week, and they then get their free 15 hours at their new pre-school starting next week.
We found it hard too because their nursery is just lovely and so accommodating to their needs, it is a very homely environment and I love it; but then the preschool is attached onto the primary school that DD1 and DD2 go to, and hopefully DTrio, so they are virtually guaranteed a place to Primary, which is quite hard to get in to - especially 3 of them.
Obviously the Preschool is crazily busy and I've had DTrips names down for ages - often they will offer 1 place, or rarely 2, but I refuse to send 1/2 and leave the other 1/2 at nursery. They said that it was incredibly unlikely that all 3 will get in in September, so we are extremely pleased that they have Feels like we have finally got our foot in the door!
I do like the pre-school, but its so different from the Nursery we're used to.
Early indications are that wristband v2 is at least as loved as v1. He possibly may be more obsessed given the disappearance of v1 despite his care. Dp already offered to remove.... growled 'leave it on' was the response. He'll have grandma to answer to if he chops again - he has been warned lol.
<waves to Lavita> Wine & gin just opened here but you're prob close enough to sniff that
Wine and gin ALL. Not in the same glass I hope I'm at the tail end of an alcohol free week - - am aiming to keep it that way until we go on holiday. If I manage a month off the booze it will be the first time in a ridiculously long time I'll have done something
so stupid like that. We went to Peckham fete today, which was simultaneously amusing and lovely, and bumped into a friend who was nursing the mother of all hangovers. As he staggered around walking his little dog with bloodshot eyes, I felt magnificent in my sobriety - small recompense for the fact I spent most of last night rabidly ogling other people's drinks whilst out for dinner.
Thanks all for the thoughts re nursery.
I have another question, if anyone can answer them. Cerub - you may know this one. What are these childcare vouchers or tax credits? Do both parents need to be working in order to qualify?
PS: Cerub - hope your mum continues to be on the mend and that you've all had a better day.
Reading my previous posts I'd guess it was all in the same glass. I am, however, just on my phone trying
and failing not to look too antisocial. We are such lightweights on alcohol these days. Had a couple of glasses of red last weekend but I struggle to remember when we had any before that. Partly cos dd is still in with us but mainly cos every time we go for it we end up having an awful night with the boys & it seems like more hassle than it's worth. Ils just bought us Bombay sapphire today tho - yum. But I forgot so had wine first.
We have childcare vouchers & they are salary sacrifice thru work. So, buy vouchers before tax is taken and exchange for childcare (tho we haven't yet cos we're saving ours) & I think it works out giving us £70 'free' per month due to tax savings. Don't do tax.credits. Isn't that the one dependent on income that people end up being under & overpaid if on variable income.
Thanks ALL - enjoy your evening Interesting that they may be retrospective. Because we were out of the country for so long I feel completely out of the loop with these things. DH has his own company as he is a contractor, so I don't know whether these things still apply.
Yes tax credits are dependent on income. God I'm too old for hen dos as it turns out. Also, my feet bloody hurt.
Yes, by tax credits I think I meant childcare vouchers or this pre-taxed salary 'donation' thingie...
I'm FAR too old for hen nights tarti. Although I've always been a bit of a po-faced attendant of them if I'm honest
PS: have been looking on the Pre-school education board here on MN and think I've found the answer to my question, in that IF they partake of the scheme then the government pays something like £4.47 per hour for up to 15 hours a week. In theory the nursery are NOT ALLOWED to charge you 'top ups' for the price per hour, but it seems in practice many of them do, or get around their higher fees another way.
Reading on that board, I can't BELIEVE the different prices that are charged for nurseries. I know that's pretty obvious at the upper end of the scale, but the LOWER prices charged at pre-school age is incredible - one that I read on there charges £8.75 for a 3 hour session! I'm amazed that it's possible to cover your costs charging that kind of money.
The other thing I discovered is that apparently in order to get your whole 15 hours of 'free' EY education, it used to have to be spread over a three day period. So you couldn't have them in for two days and effectively have it be free. But as of Sept 12 this is changing, although the govt recommendations seem to be a 'suggestion' that the nursery allow it to be taken over two days rather than a compulsory change.
Since at the moment we're looking at having them in for 2 days (until I get that magic job I haven't yet applied for or even heard of) I imagine we will get a discounted rate, rather than it being entirely free.
As you were
News on my mum is not brilliant. She has a perforated gall bladder and the doctor really doesn't want to have to operate as it seems to be quite messy in there and he could do more harm than good. So we are waiting to see if the mega-antibiotics that they're giving her help it all calm down and then the doctor will recommend at what stage she has the gall bladder out. It won't be a keyhole op apparently so will be quite a big deal for her. I'm pretty worried and she is only just being allowed to eat anything now (hasn't eaten anything since about Thursday lunchtime, so that can't help with strength). But on the plus side she is getting more respite from the pain and this morning seems to be doing better according to the doc.
I'm back at home again now as of last night, since my Dad is feeling much more on top of things and has lots of friends and neighbours who can help out if he needs food or anything. Luckily got the MIL staying (that would be a sarcastic 'luckily') who I have requested H gets out of the house as much as possible to avoid Doing My Head In.
Mucky, I don't know if I have quite caught the gist of it all but my understanding with nurseries is that you get up to 15 hours free per week and can split them between two providers if you want to (and if they will both offer them). You can't use all your hours on a two-day-a-week basis, only 3 days+, and each session that you are using them for must be at least 2.5 hours long.
The nursery will charge what they normally charge (say £60 per day) but your invoice will show the net of that after the 15 hours have been deducted.
You said that your current place is offering you 4 mornings plus a whole day? That sounds well in excess of 15 hours.
I was thinking, if this local nursery is offering you two days only, is it an option to keep them at the other place for an extra day so you get to use all the hours up and you still get your foot on the ladder with the local place?
First question for the local nursery would be whether they participate in the 15 hours scheme, and if they don't then you can weigh up what combination of days and places works out best for you financially (it might be cost effective to pay 2 days at the local place and take 15 hours in some combination at the current place)?
Maybe if you have to make your mind up straight away, it is best to accept the place and then hold off as long as you can on paying the deposit. If you accepted and then pulled out they couldn't do much about it.
As for childcare vouchers, these are not universal and depend on whether your employer offers them. I should say you don't have them as your H is self-employed. As ALL said, it's a salary sacrifice thing that allows you to buy £243 of childcare per month at a cost of 60% or 80% depending on your income tax rate, as you don't pay tax on that amount of your salary.
The tax credits are only relevant if you have lower income and are Government-awarded.
Well done for getting through a hen night in any form tarti. I hope the head is not too bad today, and same for LVB and ALL! Glad to hear that DS1 is still keeping up his Phil Mitchell impression when it comes to 'offers' to remove the wristband. Love him.
Cerub - first of all, so sorry to hear that about your mum. It sounds as though she is getting good care, although difficult to hear that it's not a clear case of 'she's got X, let's do Y straight away to resolve it'. Poor thing too, not being able to eat... I agree, it doesn't help in terms of feeling robust. Will be thinking of you all and hoping the anti-b's work their magic.
Re. the nursery - crikey, I hadn't thought about utilising both places. You're right, the current Surestart place is offering 4x morning and 1x 'whole day' which amounts to 4x 2.5 and 1x 6 (although not sure if it includes the lunch break between morning and afternoon session; might have to pay for that which would make it add up to 15hrs).
Pros of that set up - girls get into a daily routine, setting them up for school
Cons - not particularly convenient for me and we are 'tied' to being in London/at home every day of the week
All in all, it's great that we've been (in theory) been offered a place at the local one. Have been feeling increasingly "left out" <brandishes tiny violin> because EVERY mum I meet in the playground here asks straight off "so your girls must be at the Villa then?" and are surprised to hear not. But they only do full days, and a minimum of two days per week. All will unfold this week methinks...
We've been for a swim this morning, and as ever made it to the pool just 40 minutes before it closes. One of these days we will be organised!
PS: LVB and Cerub - shall we arrange an Army museum date regardless? It works better in Autumn anyway as it's an indoor activity. It's a bit odd the way the ticketing system works because I think they only 'release' something like 10 tickets online, 3 days beforehand. The remaining tickets you can get on the door when you turn up but risk having to queue and/or being disappointed. Last time I went the woman who worked there told me they are experimenting with different systems because you used to be able to buy all the tickets online, but the local Chelsea nannies were abusing it and block-booking regularly 'just in case' and then not turning up. They only allow something like 30 people in; I've never seen it heaving. And for a soft play space, it's CLEAN! They also have a couple of the most beautiful traditional rocking horses which always leave me pondering whether we should get one for home - then I look at the prices and think again!
Any more news on your Mum Cerub?
Did you get your confirmation of nursery place availability LadyM? & has it helped your decision any?
Well done on the hen night Tarti. I've always been too old for them. In fact I think I've only been to 1 and that was more a `meal out' with a couple of other female family members for my sis's wedding um... 25 yrs ago. I seem to be getting to an age where my natural behaviours are almost `normal' iyswim.
Boys have been v testing tonight - I think they must've been in with the bigger children at nursery today. I put ds1 out at dinner as he was hitting me (well, sort of launching himself at me with both hands & finding it v amusing that it bloody hurt!). The they were both blowing raspberries but really, more spitting. & ds1 announced `don't like it' when presented with his
perfectly normal pasta dinner followed by `it's not very nice' (smiled inwardly at that one as that's not something he'd usually say) & ds2 launched his cheese across the table professing not to like it. So clearly looking for a reaction & I was v pleased that they got little out of me. Dp couldn't believe it when he got home & encountered similar at bathtime. I hope they sleep it off tonight....
I have a new project - MIL has requested a bag like the boys', though she doesn't want her name stuck on the front .
Cerub hope you are ok, any news?
ALL Will you do commissions? I'd love homemade Christmas stockings for the girls with their names on
I had my first "peaaass" today
finally I just want them to stop climbing on tables and be polite, I fear that is unlikely as they are both still "destroyers of worlds" as Tarti so aptly puts it!
I'm ashamed to admit ALL that I smiled inwardly at your description of teatime as my two were hideously similar this evening. There is a marked difference in their behaviour after nursery days. By which I mean they are horrific
cerub thinking of you and your mum.
Back to school today. Huge shock to the system, I am exhausted!
On hen dos: I've been to all sorts, from weekend in Amsterdam (amazing) to sedate dinner out nearby. The best ones (especially since having kids, as it's such a novelty) are renting a cottage or similar for a weekend, so plenty of slobbing about gossiping, with a night out and some form of pampering thrown in for good measure.
I can cope with anything as long as I know a few people there and am not THE OLDEST BY MILES. I mean come on.
Anyway, fortunately nearly everyone I know is married now, not least because I have no money at the moment after a rather extravagant summer.
Plan for this year is (September being New Year as far as I am concerned!) to move house by Easter, lose a stone and be nice to my husband (!!).
Aha, still all in it together then . I thought we were in a good, cute phase. Maybe they were just overtired .
Love to give it a go Lavita as long as
you don't call it a commission your expectations aren't too high. Any idea on size / style of fabric / colour. I actually bought my first Xmas fabric yesterday .
Wow - good plans Tarti! Have you started looking seriously for the house move? I'm going to have to chase on our builder things - waiting for a response fro one lot of people before we can get organised & we've stalled at that. I'm so useless at this.
No ALL - haven't heard a word yet.
(Before I start can I caveat my mood over the next few days by informing you all that my FATHER-IN-LAW arrived yesterday for a visit... )
That's a great idea re.
your new commission the Christmas stockings. I see a craft-y sideline in your future.... <Mystic Meg>
tarti - you so canNOT just idly drop into conversation that you're planning an imminent house move. How exciting!!! I can't remember, have you decided on where you want to go to?
LVB remind me how old your girls are exactly? I remember when we went on holiday last year the girls were 20mo, and we met a couple who had B/G twins who were 23mo. Their two were SO polite and we kept wondering "how they did it" getting all these Ps and Qs out of them. Suddenly out of nowhere a few months later ours started with it too - and say it quite readily most of the time. I think once they realise it garners affection and reward it's a no-brainer for the average toddler
not having a meltdown although am looking forward to proper rudeness when they get older. Actually the girls have just started with a bloody rude affectation which is to demand that they want things - NOOOWWWWWWW!". Last night Juliet had a nightmare which involved her lashing out at me at about 4am screaming that she wanted the poo poo back in her bum bum. Oh the joys!
Hilarious mucky! (though less so at 4am). I see you are like us in calling them poo poo and bum bum (and tum tum obviously) - funny how easy it is to spontaneously talk rubbish to a small child.
Hope your FIL is not being too weird and that the burden of indulging him doesn't just fall to you - any chance your H will take him out somewhere?
My mum seems to be doing a bit better, thanks all for asking. She's not in pain now and is eating again, but still weak and finds any movement wears her out, so she'll need to be in for a while I think. Still no word on timing of an op or anything.
Welcome back to the new school year tarti and hope you hit your stride quickly. I agree, tell us more about the moving plans. We shall want to see particulars!
Grimacing here at the description of dinner time insolence, I don't like the sound of that much! At least when they're at nursery I don't even have to consider feeding them so 'only' have 3 days a week to come up with
fish fingers meal ideas and get the food into them. I find at the moment that they're very unpredictable about the method of food delivery that they want - sometimes spoon feeding (but getting rarer now), sometimes want to be fed with a fork, sometimes they want to be given a loaded fork to hold and sometimes want to fail to spear the food themselves. Any false move by me and you'd think the world had ended. I fully realise this is the thin end of the wedge!
Lots of new words being learned all the time, which is v cute. 'Flower' is R's current favourite, and 'Bear' for S. I must admit I do catch myself pointing out cars to S and trees/flowers to R - totally against my conscious instinct to avoid making R a pink princess and S whatever the boy's equivalent is. You just can't go against brainwashing!
Ugh, our car is in the garage for its battery to be looked at and the marvellous news is that THREE tyres need replacing. Cost £1,000 (and I don't even know whether that includes VAT). Bloody hell! Just when you think you might get on an even keel one month, along comes a whammy like that. LVB you are (financially) better off not driving you know <grumbles>.
Ouch at car expense cerub. Such a boring thing to spend on. We have done a few bring, invisible improvements to the house over the summer and I am most resentful about the cost...
My dr just rang, I had a follow up x ray last week after my pneumonia in July. Unfortunately although the main area has cleared up, it's not completely clear so will need another x ray in a few weeks and if that's not clear then referral to a specialist and CT scan etc in case it is anything more serious. Bit of a worry
Must use nap time more productively, so much to do, this time tomorrow I'll be teaching!
* Tarti* Big hugs, you are in good hands and I'm sure they are just being vigilant. It's always hard to wait for things isn't it but try not to worry (difficult I know) &
Hope your 1st day back at school is fun
ALL not sure what I'd like maybe we should both have a google and see what we come up with, I think I'd like traditional stockings but quite big ones maybe with something appliqué that's Christmassy
Cerub I know, but I don't think I can face cycling the girls to nursery in the rain so it must get done! I've got my second lesson tomorrow, I need to do some reading!
Mucky I'm looking forward to more FIL stories! The girls are now 22 months.
2 questions - I need new shoes for the girls soon, what is the plan? Kickers?
Also of high importance, I need to buy a new outfit for my S&D parties, I need to look smart, stylish and
gorgeous presentable it needs to be something simple to show off the jewelry, I need help!
As in Stella and Dot - not any type of bondage type parties
Phew - seem to be back to normal levels of `testing` with boys today. Nursery confirmed they did spend yesterday with the older children and warned it'll go downhill from here! Ds1 was funny tonight. He started playing with the hoover after I'd done their room & discovered the cable rewind button. He pulled a bit of the cable out, put the plug on the floor &
told asked me to pick it up.... and swiftly rewound before I could. He thought it was hilarious!
Hope FIL isn't driving you too nuts LadyM. Ours were v well behaved at weekend tho FIL has just had an op on one eye so it's permanently wide open at the mo
including when he's sleeping which freaked ds2 a little.
Ouchy indeed Cerub!! I suppose the advantage of having a Go-kart is that it's worth less than your tyres . Good to hear your Mum isn't in pain now but sounds awful, poor thing. & yes to the gender stuff - no idea how our two got so into trains etc. They are now aware of the concept of Princesses tho ...
Aww Tarti, not want you want at the beginning of term. I know it took my Mum a few months / different antibiotics to get over it though she's not in the best of health generally anyway. I would say it sounds like you should still be pacing yourself but I know how hard Sept is in teaching, nevermind having to balance that with family stuff & not being over pneumonia . But anyway, take things as easily as you can.
So big enough to put stuff in rather than decorative - good starting point for my research too Lavita . Though I was thinking they couldn't be too diddy if you'd like names on. &LOL @ S&D.... I did have to think about it
stupidly. But I'll leave the fashion buying advice to the experts
What about an Isabella Oliver ruched jersey dress lavita or something from Me&Em?
Thanks for lovely kind words both of you. Sure I'll be fine. Any excuse to take it easy
Hope you're surviving fil mucky...
OMG why have I never heard of Me&Em before? Love it!!!
Naughty naughty Tarti
Hello all <gibbers slightly>
tarti - big hug to you. Hope you are able to take it easy a bit over the next few weeks. It's hard enough recovering from a common cold when you've got twins to look after, let alone pneumonia....
Can't write much but had to share at least one of FIL's mightily irritating anecdotes from the last two days. He is currently engaged in a psychological tug-of-war with DH who is actively having to dissuade him from drilling a hole in OUR HOUSE to install a bloody dodgy outside power socket . It's the same old same old with him - he decides that we need something (based entirely on the fact that he's seen it in a pound shop) and then sets about doing it, utterly regardless of what we want. Last time it was the fecking swing along with.....
I'm not sure if I shared with you all the fact that last time he decided to take on the utterly pointless task of prepping all our window frames and sills to the front of the house because he thought they needed doing, which he then decided (without even asking us) also needed painting. We don't have high enough ladders so he started knocking on all our neighbours doors asking around. He couldn't get any so decided to construct a harness from some spare rope he found, I had been out and came home to find a 70 year old man wearing a bobble hat swinging from a rope outside our bedroom window <dies of shame Hyacinth Bucket stylee>
'Mysteriously' a builder who was working a few doors up then turned up offering his ladders, which we later found out he had done because he feared for
this mad old fella's FIL's life. So FIL spent the next two days virtually ignoring the grandchildren he had come down to see, scraping and faffing with our windows FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER since we had already decided we'll decorate the outside of our house when we get the extension done. He also decided to tell me, whilst doing this pointless shite, that he thought we ought to get the window frames painted white 'to match the neighbours' and that the teal blue we currently have them 'sticks out compared to everyone else's'. Seethe is not the word, I bloody love our blue window frames!!
OMG next time he comes I simply have to go to a yoga retreat or something, it's not good for me to be around such irritation!
so sorry Mucky but your FIL does make for some highly amusing stories!
LVB you may already have bought up the entire stock of Me & Em, but if not then my suggestion for nice wearable dresses is Phase Eight (I've just filtered plain dresses but there are lots of others). I think Phase Eight have transformed their image in the last couple of years and now do some lovely dresses that can be dressed up or down. I have a few for work.
How are you finding the driving lessons? Is this literally the first time you've got behind the wheel, or did you take lessons when you were younger?
How's the wristband saga panning out this time ALL? Love the story about the hoover, what a funny little boy. Good job they make us laugh as well as driving us nuts isn't it!
Hope the further investigations reveal nothing to be alarmed at tarti. That must have been a nasty dose of pneumonia. Do you feel back to strength now or still recovering?
Ominously quiet from mucky... My bet is she's in the police station explaining why she throttled FIL .
I've been meaning to ask for ages, does anyone know where chesticles went? She disappeared off the last thread and hasn't been heard of??
Gah, no movement on this thread in two days and then a x-post with said mucky!
Good suggestion re. Phase 8 Cerub.
HE DOES NOT LISTEN!
Ooh, is Phase 8 ok? I actually have a couple of things from there <kids self not a lost cause after all>
Sorry, but lol ladym. Easy to say from a distance.
Ds1's wristband isn't so tight this time so he can slip it over his hand. currently sitting on the kitchen table where he left it after lunch. We're in the car going north for the weekend with the tent.....
Not seem chesti in ages. Think I might have her no somewhere....
I am traumatised!
It involves the garden, the girls and no nappies
A bit like your pre bath incidence with your DH Tarti
The mind boggles LVB
FIL is safely dispatched, having driven all adults to the edge of insanity (and dangled us over the edge just for good measure). I am about to get ready and head to Camden because I.... <drum roll>... am going to a gig! Shock horror, etc etc. Off to see Elbow, not that that means much to me, I have to say...
Has been a day of upsets re. the nursery. Found out yesterday that yes, definite place confirmed. Told existing nursery, who were really upset. They told me we need to give 3 months notice but I spoke to the business manager on my way out who told me that if need be, they'd be flexible and let us leave after a month - really decent of them. I already felt wobbly just talking to her, but when I came in this morning and saw the faces of the girls' key workers, plus one or two of the assistants who look after the girls - they genuinely seemed gutted we are going. I felt terrible, as though I'm rejecting them for somewhere 'better' - which in a way I am, but only 'better' as in a bit more posh - which makes me feel terrible because they are so happy where they are and the women who work there really are fantastic. Eve's key worker even got a tear in her eye talking about how she had hoped to see Eve grow up over the next two years... Am sure this is all normal but it made me feel so bad, was almost in tears and we haven't even said goodbye!
Sorry haven't checked it for a while.
We had DTriplets first day of Pre school on wednesday - it went brilliantly! J and A went running in and didn't even want a kiss goodbye!
Little E was a little bit sad about leaving me, she didn't cry but had a terribly sad look on her little face. But Emme had the most loveliest loveliest key worker ever, who scooped her straight up and gave her a big cuddle! Parents can watch for a bit through a little hatch thing, and within a few minutes 'A' had come to give E a cuddle and take her to the 'teeny nanimals'
DD2's first day of Primary went as expected! She barely even wanted to say goodbye! Me and DH were saying our goodbyes and said to have a nice day etc - then she turned round and said 'You've said 'have a nice day' twice mum!' (she doesn't even call me mum!) then rolled her eyes and ran off! We had to laugh - it is classic DD2!
Slightly off topic, but saw an advert for a really good looking carseat from Mothercare, went to have a look and have now been swayed by the brand new Cameleon3 that came up!!!
<wibble> half a bottle of wine & I'm almost crying with both of those.
God, that sentence was hard work.
Dd1 has had ds2 on the hunt for his armband today. Light, no. Tent, no. Chicken, no. Etc. Told.him it's safe on kitchen table.....
Our car appears have pfft again today.feels ok in fog of vino tho. Will consider properly in cold light of day..
& can't remember what I was going to post now.....
PMSL at pishedALL! What's with this all-out assault on the drinks cabinet recently?
I would've cried too mucky. No chance you can justify a day or two at the current place just to keep everyone happy..? Enjoy Elbow, it should be a good way to ease back into the gig scene (not exactly the last days of Rome).
Hope you've managed to fumigate all affected areas since yesterday LVB. Will you tell all when you come out of your traumatised state?
Glad school has started well Kate! Who's the cameleon for? (I had to look it up).
Mum's out of hospital - very weak but out of danger, which is great obviously. Op to be scheduled in near future. Enjoy the sun everyone (if applicable).
That's a good suggestion Cerub, I must think over that. So hard knowing what's right for the girls, plus right for us and our bank balance...
Also laughing at ALL's pishednesh. Although this post finds me somewhat inebriated after 15 days (FIFTEEN!) abstinence. Was aiming for a month off so feeling somwhat lily-livered in my success...
Cerub Soo glad your mum is out of hospital - she may be weak, but being in her own environment should relax and reassure her. Hope everything goes well over the next few days/weeks.
Cameleon isn't for anyone in particular, but I am just so restricted with buggies these days, and I just want a nice buggy rather than a practical (but necessary) one.
I still have my Bugaboo Bee from DD2 because I couldn't bare to get rid of it when I found out I was pregnant with Trips.
I adore our ABC Everest, but its not me ! I miss being able to spend quit a bit of money on just a lovely buggy (like a bugaboo) rather than having to spend ridiculous amounts having it imported from blinking New zealand! And the fact that it is the only useful triple out there!
I have been so tempted with the Donkey in the past, but I do really prefer tandems.
I have genuinely lost count of the number of buggies I've had with DD1 and DD2, I just love them - as soon as I get bored I sell it on and get another. Its a brilliant game! I always kept my Bee for DD2 as main buggy, and then bought and sold VGC second hand buggies - therefore not losing out on any money!
Now there is no point even looking at buggies because there is, literally, about 4 or 5 to choose from - and I've had them all and they are shit!
I've decided that when DTrips are bigger, I will have 1 nice single (maybe a Cameleon) and they can take turns. I cannot have my last ever buggy being a frigging ABC triple!
Sorry for buggy rant PMT is kicking in.
I am so lost here again. Work has got a bit hectic, and as DH covered for me while I was away at a conference I then had to do all the childcare for a while when he caught up his hours at work. Somehow that should explain why I haven't posted here for months?
It is ages ago now, but we took the boys down for a visit with their GPs (my IL's) in Essex during the Olympics. The whole lot of us went to Wembley to watch some women's football, and MIL and I saw team GB win gold at the dressage (the team day - luckily I didn't get tickets for the individual final as I would have cooked that day). It was so easy despite all the panic I heard beforehand. And the boys loved spending a week with access to a trampoline.
I've lost track a bit of how old everyone is, but I'm pretty sure my boys at 3.4 now are 6-12 months older than most? Anyway, I have been finding life significantly easier since they turned 3. The tantrums have got worse (but they didn't really have them much as 2 year olds) but I can talk them out, or just leave them to it. They finally walk most places (we haven't used the buggy at all for 2 months).
As a result of no buggy we often get the bus part the way home from nursery. The bus drops us outside a newly opened "sauna" (Edinburgh's unofficially licensed brothel system), which the boys are transfixed by due to it's sparkly window display. I suspect twin 3 year olds slowly reading all the letters and numbers passing across the display screen is a little inhibiting to trade.
Are your twins making friends? Don't know if it is my boys, just being boys or always having each other but so far there seems to be no-one at nursery they are gravitating towards. They are in different groups and not nearly as always together, but don't seem to be making other friends.
Everyone must be watching the closing ceremony. Just gone on "Most Active" and my posting put TTTTT on the list!!
Hi rattling lovely to see you back!
FWIW, I was watching X Factor - forgot about the closing ceremony.. oops!
I didn't realize your boys were that old - my DTriplets are nearly 3.3! I think we are a bit lazy as I normally force my girls into the buggy as its just a bit of a nightmare with 3 - and on the school run I have my older 2 girls on scooters too.
How strange, I've found that my girls' tantrums have been horrific - I mean, I don't even know what to do with them sometimes. They are still in this irritating 'no' phase, where the answer to everything I ask is 'no'. It is sooooo nauseating! It doesn't sound a big issue - but even asking them to get their shoes on, as soon as 1 says 'no' they all just flatly refuse to put shoes on.
Mine never really had 'terrible two's' either though really, so maybe it's that.
DTrips started at a new pre-school last tuesday and its been really good for them. They were at a small nursery before (still are 1 day a week). Preschools and schools seem to want to constantly split them up; I can see the positives and reasons but, personally, I don't like it and request that they don't purposely try to split them up. They've depended on each other since before they were born, and I think its unfair to just split them up. However, at pre-school they all have a different key-worker (this wasn't done on purpose) and so sometimes have a little 'group chat' in key-worker groups. I have found that when they were at nursery they would only say that they have played with each other, but now they come home from pre-school and reel off all these names of children I've never heard of before!
Jealous of your Olympic adventures - wishing that we had got tickets!
<sidles in... non-pished >
We had a fab weekend up with our families & the camping was a huge success
if we forget freeeeeeeeezing Sunday morning when we decided to decamp to my parents for showers/breakfast. It was really sad leaving today as the boys understand now that they're not going to see grandparents for a while & were upset. Guilt trip or what!!
Hiya rattling! My boys are 2.5. Finally (!) moved up from baby room at nursery today - woo hoo! I asked a while back about friends so that I could actually talk to them about nursery stuff & feel like I know what they're doing there. I was given names of 2 boys they play with most... but I don't really know if they really are proper friends. I ask if the boys were there & they usually just say yes with great enthusiasm. But then if I ask if they were there themselves they say no <clueless>. They do seem to like my friend's dd - ask to see her & they all hug on greeting / leaving which seems like friend-stuff but I think it might just be acknowledging expectations etc.
I keep thinking I need to buy a single buggy for dd. We're not really using the double for the boys & I still largely sling dd. Unless when going to the allotment but then the double buggy is useful for that as I can load more stuff on it. I'm wondering if I could get away with one of those trike things for her but I've heard they're a pain to push etc.
Finished my first pair of pj bottoms for boys tonight. Not a tape measure in sight so fitting could be interesting ....
Hey rattling - great to see you. Don't have much time to write now, but your comment about friendships resonated with me.
I noticed on Sunday that when my niece came to play, although the girls played with her a bit they weren't THAT bothered. I felt a bit self-conscious about it, and wondered if it must be hard to come here as a 'third' because after all, the girls have each other and just don't seem to be that bothered about getting to know another child well. According to their key workers at nursery, they play alongside other children well but tend to play with each other.
I'm thinking I'll keep them in the same group until they get to school age, when I'd like them to be in separate classes. Well, I say that now, I'll be a desperate wreck at the actual prospect of them being separated...
Dreading this changeover between nurseries. Just dreading it. Don't know why - have had a couple of lovely supportive conversations with the new place - just feel so bad about forcing a move on the girls when they're perfectly happy where they are.
Mine are 2.9 by the way, and I keep being told the interest in other children always comes, but it all starts "around now or later".
Sorry not been posting much, I'm off on a driving lesson this morning (3rd one) then have a S&D stylist rally this afternoon, then my first trunk show tonight. Busy day, my stomach is churning, I hope it all goes well!
<waves to rattling, where is Chesty these days?>
Busy day indeed LVB - about to get busier too! I have a jewellery order for you please! Will send you a message on FB. Hope the various events go/went well today.
S&R are having their usual Wednesday at home with me today and I feel very much inadequate to entertain them - I think they have so much more fun/stuff to do at nursery! Have already taken them out twice to get them out of the house. Now they are upstairs Not Sleeping, dammit.
Hi rattling - my two are 18 months so the youngest of this crowd by a few months. I think of you all as my roadmaps to where I'm heading...
How weird, I commented last night but now its gone?
Anyway, it said that I hoped you were all watching OBEM, it was the multiples episode.
It made me very very proud of my girls
Good luck Lavita - hopefully in full swing by now!
I watched OBEM last night & was thinking of you & your girls Kate. V pleased that I had such an easy time of it but it was a bit of a shame that it was all about the complications of multiples. I know it's more common / makes better telly but felt it might be useful to get out there that multiples doesn't necessarily mean awful pg / birth traumas.
Heard from Chesti earlier <waves>. She's stepped back
into rl full time from mn recently & is going away for a couple of weeks but will come & catch up when she gets back
Thanks for the update ALL
I didn't watch OBEM - I have NEVER been able to watch such things but agree with you re. them not showing any 'normal' births. I think that's what gets me about these kind of programmes, especially having worked in
shit telly for years on end - normal isn't seen to be interesting. So I always imagine the punters they have on that show either being emotionally dysfunctional, or 'freaks' in some other way. I anticipated that in a way, they might use the multiple angle as a vague form of freakery - fascinating to watch for some perhaps, but I agree with you it's a shame it can't be shown as being more everyday. After all, twins in particular are becoming more commonplace...
Ahh I was thinking about all of you twin ladies too ALL !
I agree about the fact that they all seemed to be a bit dramatic, I can't explain in what way (other than the ones that had problems).
My birth was pretty dramatic in the sense that it was an EM C-section, all 3 whisked off, all had breathing problems, a few other minor problems - but it never seemed dramatic in the same way that they did last night.
Hard to explain!
It was funny actually, I got quite a few texts last night from people saying that they 'know what I went through' now they've watched OBEM.
I don't think I saw 1 person on the school run this morning who didn't say 'Did you watch OBEM last night?'
Anyway, I shouldn't moan; I should be glad that we aren't part of the stereotypical stats that say multiple births are so full of problems.
Glad you've heard from Chesti ALL ! Hope everything is okay with her.
Mucky its funny you've mentioned that twins are getting more popular - my lovely little sister (18 this year, so last year of college) has a school friend who is about to give birth to her twin girls any day now!
Thanks everyone I had a fab day yesterday, loving getting a bit of independence back and really enjoying my driving lessons!
Cerub [flowers] thanks for your order, party next, then we can meet!
Mucky you can do a meet all the mum's at the new nursery jewelry party, invite some old work friends and do some networking to put your foot back into the tv world again if that's what you fancy <no pressure >
Last plug on the work front, can you all PM me with your email addresses if you'd like to be added to my mailing list
Kate I missed OBEM* is it worth watching? I love X factor, drive DP nuts with it every year.
I wonder how much the single embryo transfer policy means multiples are going to be significantly less commonplace? Or if the no of older pg ladies means there won't be a huge difference. Ha Kate always amusing that people become experts after seeing a tv prog but nice if they do have some level of better understanding I suppose. I'm glad I saw it having had my boys Lavita.. would be v scary otherwise - `normal' OBEM is scary enough to watch while pg! It was OK but having had multiples prob only from a human interest POV - doubt you'd learn anything new from it.
Glad you had a good day yesterday! How long are your driving lessons? Someone recommended I do 2 hr lessons & it was great. Sounds looooong but once you're into it the time whizzes by. You get so much done & you haven't got the interruptions of pick-up / getting back to base at the end of an hour.
I tried to sign up to the adult ed sewing class today but it was full! Apparently people had been queueing for 2 hours before enrolment opened to make sure they had a place. On the waiting list but don't hold out too much hope. Will just have to continue to make it up as I go along .
Thanks ALL yes I've been taking 2 hour lessons so fingers crossed I'll get through it quicker. Living in London you see twins everywhere, I saw old lady identical twins at North Greenwich on Wednesday, they must of been about 65 and were wearing matching outfits
Rattling I forgot to say, so jealous you saw the dressage at the Olympics, I would of loved to see anything but especially any equestrian events!
I am really struggling with tantrums at the moment, V refuses to go in the buggy without bribery, and then when she's had enough, wriggles out of her straps and climbs out, it's dangerous and so bloody stressful. Refuses to walk just wants to be carried. I think everyone on my road thinks I'm some kind of screaming harridan aaarrrrggghhh, they aren't even 2 yet, do I have another year of this!
Good point ALL re. single embryo - has the policy changed then? <ignorant> At my clinic they were big on single embryo, but we only had two "okay" embryos left at time of transfer and they recommended putting both back because neither looked like great quality.... <cue violins> of course both are now driving me potty at bedtime every night right now
Countdown has started to Getting The Beds as we have now resolved to get them after our holiday. They'll be in cots in Crete, then we'll get the beds on our return
after we nearly had to call the Fire Brigade earlier in the week when Eve got her knee very badly wedged in while trying to climb out. I am going to INSIST that this coincides with dropping the nap, because I am terrified that our luxurious sleeps and being woken by the sound of sweetly babbling children in the room next door will be over for ever, to be replaced by children wedging themselves into our bed at night and being woken by a child screaming in my ear 'wake up mummy it's MORNING ALREADY!!!' over and over again. Please someone reassure me that this may not happen!
<it may not happen>
but then again . Poor E! I do wonder about the gaps in the cots. So many times when little they move so legs go through then they try turning - ouch. & then when bigger they get stuck .
I think the `new' (2009) guidelines are meant to be just that & used to persuade couples of the advantages of SET if they meet various criteria - age being one of them. It wasn't mentioned to me, prob because I was already geriatric with dodgy history . A friend at the same clinic was under 35 and definitely pushed to go with SET. She ended up pg with ID twins anyway (ha!) but it sounds like the multiple birth rate of clinics is being scrutinised these days so they are under pressure to reduce. So glad I got in when I did!
I was thinking about tackling the bed thing but only as a theoretical operation . We're actually at home this weekend so I hope we can at least get their furniture moved around. I'm thinking that may be issue enough for
demented ds1. Cots are sort of right angled at the mo & I want to change that but think ds1 mightn't like the change. Funny thing even had to sleep in the same alignment to ds2 in the tent last weekend - not very practical!
We've been v lucky & not had escapees from buggy / car seats Lavita. I do remember similar issues with walk/carry/buggy around that age because dp & I had one of our biggest ever falling outs over it. I was v pg with dd and just couldn't do carrying boys too but he'd make a big
Superdad show of carrying the whinger... and then the other once no1 go their way. So of course they'd expect the same of me & it just wasn't possible when I was on my own with them.
ALL that is my issue too, DP likes to pander to them, it is much tougher alone. V has tried to open the car door whilst travelling! Luckily we were at speed so she didn't have the strength, they are all now child locked.
Honestly comparing with friends, no one else's children are so hellbent on destruction or getting their own way. It really makes me question my parenting, am I doing something wrong?
So much more difficult on your own! Or then again, it could be argued it's easier without that sort of `help' from dp . Honestly, the amount of effort it took to make him understand we needed to be consistent rather than him giving in to them all the time to make things easier on everyone long-term. Much better for him to be the Big Man when he was there . I had ds2 open the car door once . I hadn't realised at first & thought I'd just not shut it properly. Til he tried it again....
Laughing at the thought of having to recreate identical sleeping arrangements in the tent ALL - mainly because I just know we'd have to do the same thing Our girls are also at right angles; they're in a 12' x 10' room, so not big - worried that with the bigger beds it's going to be a right squeeze.
LVB - don't know what to say (until we meet of course and then I can truly judge <joke> ) BUT I find that the more I give into them, the worse they are. It's when they're running us ragged and for the sake of an easy life I give in, that I regret it. This is going to sound mad and annoying but the main tactic I have when the girls get stroppy or annoying is to either take the piss out of them (gently!!) or to try to have a sense of humour about whatever is causing the tantrum, or to divert completely. I have found the last few months a bit easier because i feel like I'm finally 'getting' their tantrums a bit more, certainly not a done deal but I do feel like in 8 out of 10 incidents, I can either divert or humour them ("Oh come on! Show me your grumpy face! Is that the best grumpy face you can do?!") and on the other occasions I just grimace my way through it
or scream like a harridan, oh yes that is quite common too.
On the whole I love the people they are now more and more as they grow older, and have to remind myself sometimes that as they enter a new phase, it takes me a while to catch up with it and learn how to handle them. Juliet has now asked me about 10 times how she got to be in my tummy - now there's one I wasn't expecting to have to answer for a while yet - I've told her "well, you were really really small..." but that's not cutting it - "but mummy - HOW did we get in there? How?"
Don't believe it - just had our 1st car seat escapee . Or at least got his arms out was flailing around. Dd2 threw almighty strop cos we didn't have time for the playground. Blamed Dp for not strapping him in properly but no.
Wow, so soon for those Qs ladym?? We're as far as disbelieving looks when told their scan pics are when they were in mummy's tummy. Do you plan to tell them about ivf from the start/ at all?
:O ALL that must've been really scary!
Those 'houdini locks' are meant to totally cure the issue, but aren't supposed to be good in case of an emergency and trying to get them out the car quickly.
I suppose you have to weigh up what is more dangerous/more likely to happen.
DD2 managed to houdini herself out, but DTrips are still in those cushion carseats, so they can't physically get out!
Well, I have been super organised today - with all this cold weather I realized that I desperately need to do some shopping for the girls before it gets too cold and I can't get anything. It happened a lot last year - it went cold and by the time I'd got round to going to get coats, they were sold out in their size.
New shop for you ladies to look at is 'Childrens Place' - they're in US, but now ship to UK ( ) so ordered some lovely winter bits off there. We definitely shouldn't be talking about Christmas yet, but how absolutely gorgeous is this dress for an Xmas dress?!
I know they are quite tacky, but the Childrens Place have some good snow boots.. do we think its worth getting them? Poor girls feet literally froze last year in wellies
Also, on the subject of shoes - what are you all doing for winter boots this year? I was thinking Clarks, as usual, but they don't seem to have any new ones? I'm quite tempted with some Emu's for DTrips, and Clarks for DD1 and DD2. Now they are at school they will only need them for w/ends and 2 week holiday..
Sorry for ridiculous thread about the coldness... I am hating it already
Ooh I wonder what these would look like in the flesh?
Ahhh SHOES, a subject after my own heart...
Am starving and must go and eat, but my brief thoughts on shoes for this winter are - I have bought the girls a pair of trainers which I admit to spending over the odds on - here - and other than that I am going to buy them a pair of 'smart' party shoes and a pair of snow/wellie boots. I am annoyed Kate because I saw these Boden ones but they're now sold out in the girls size. Want to get something similar but not spend a bomb on them. Totally agree that wellies do not suffice! The Kickers we bought last year were a big hit, they wore them most of the time and they're still wearing them a year later.
On subject of coats I just discovered today a couple of coats I was given by a friend when the girls were really tiny - at the time it seemed inconceivable they'd EVER fit them, but here we are already - crazy really. They're alright, but I'm still thinking of getting them something like a thick duffle coat for "everyday".
Liking that Christmas dress Now... you're going to hate me SOOOOOO much if you don't already know about this site. As the mother of five daughters I warn you to sit down
with a cup of tea and your credit card safely locked away and peruse THIS site of filthy extravagance. They do really good sales and I was GUTTED that the sale finished overnight and my shopping basket of two dresses at about £29 each went POP into thin air....
Wow, that website really is extravagant mucky ! I'm absolutely in love with those swallow jumpers.. and DD1 would look beautiful in the grey cable knit jumper too. I do love jumpers.
I always forget about Smallable - just seen these winter boots which would be perfect for DTrips.
I'm still leaning towards Emu's - simply because I virtually only wear Uggs/Emus in the winter, and I know how warm they are. DD1 and DD2 always used to have a pair, and they lasted amazingly and as long as we sprayed them, they were pretty water tight. And I knew that they had nice toasty feet too - whereas with other boots I wonder whether they have chilly feet.
Girls are fine at the moment with Converse that they love, and we managed to get some Joules wellies for them in the sale for about £9 each - cheaper than the crappy supermarket ones, and they are absolutely gorgeous. But I know they still won't keep them warm so I'm definitely going to look into snow boots. Even if its not snowy, if its freezing cold and we're going for a walk - wellies just aren't suffice. But then I do want winter boots too - converse aren't going to last the winter.
Those velcro trainers are pretty cute though!
Just a quick google, but these look virtually identical to Boden ones, but in pink, and furry.
Oooh these are even better! I know they aren't in any useful sizes, but I am pretty sure you will be able to get them elsewhere... will get researching!
Yes it's crazy money for those I Love Gorgeous dresses, I first saw them in Fenwicks in the summer and thought they were absolutely beautiful. Too much money (unless in the sale) - but I may get the girls something like that for their birthday party in December. Will also do for Chrimbo
Can see your thinking re. the boots, I also have had Uggs and know they're warm - the only thing I've found is I've never managed to waterproof mine properly (unlike you - I am a bit useless at things like that!) and also found them slippery on ice. <shudder> Brings back baaaaad memories of the fact that after the girls were born for a while none of my shoes fit other than my Uggs, and it was thick Swiss winter, and I once slipped over on some ice, when the girls were just two weeks old, as I slithered to the shops to get supplies. DH had done his back in and - would you believe - was completely bed-bound for a week, we were away from all family etc, there's no such thing as internet shopping out there - and in between 3-hourly feeds I had to trudge the 20 minute walk to the supermarket to bring back essential food items so we wouldn't starve to death. <shudder again> God they were a dark few days...
Anyway - back on a brighter note - yy let's get hunting for snow boots. The thing I hate about the 'outdoorsy' branded ones is they tend to just come in pink and blue colourways, or purple. I have just spotted that Hunter are doing some this winter, but they're £55 a pop. I don't really want to spend that
I'd rather spend the money on party frocks
PS: if I get my fingers burnt this time with the Smallable purchase I don't think I'll get shoes from them again. It's annoying you have to pay to send things back to France and their customer service department is USELESS.
Last post - - Crocs snow boot... ??
Croc boots look brill to me!
Have you ever had Croc Wellies? They are truly the most amazing invention ever! They are as light as a pair of crocs, so DC don't trip over in them all the time - and they have no seams, just one big croc.
These red ones are pretty cute! I like the blue star print too!
I've just seen that they have some lovely winter boots too...
Ahhhhh, hang on - think I've found the ones here - and cheap too!
Back to winter boots - can't link because there are so many lovely ones!
Maybe I will do the unmentionable and get all 5 girls a different pair each! :O
P.s R.e uggs - have you ever had Emu's?
I prefer Ugg's look-wise, but when it is icy I wouldn't dream of wearing them; but Emu's have a rubber sole and are actually really good in the ice.
We've just sprayed them quite liberally with that suede waterproofing spray - it wasn't any of the special stuff, although I might be tempted to use that next time.
If its been torrential rain, it sometimes looks as though the ugg's are soaked, but when you feel inside there isn't any wetness at all.
Off to peruse Ugg website now... think I need a new pair!
They look perfect actually, and cheap too - bonus.
Have never had Emus... off to browse Just doing last minute shopping for our holiday, bloody hell it all adds up.
In other news, DH applied for a job today <falls over>
Oh yes to the winter boot hunt!
Yep they look really perfect, and like you said - very cheap compared to the others. I might actually order my girls some now, before they start selling out!
Might look on Next for winter coats too actually..
I'm not so keen on Emu's fashion wise, but they are a must when its icy!
Ooh what job has he applied for mucky - does he think he'll get it?
tarti Hope you're enjoying all this shoe talk! Any exciting shoe inputs?
I'm glad of all this shoe talk!
The girls have grown out of their Saltwaters and I left one at a friends today so am off to Clarks tomorrow morning to buy something sensible Out of desperation these seem ok don't love them. Then once sized properly I'm going to order some of those Next boots they look perfect, I also like the little converse they sell there too.
Good luck for the job prospect Mucky fingers crossed
Quick post LVB (will be back later) but our Converse have lasted amazingly!
A few time they've ended up really dirty, and have just bunged them in the washing machine and they have come out sparkling!
I love the converse, there are some really cute bits on the Next website.
BIWI has started a new low carb boot camp thread if anyone fancies joining. I am doing a per party season blitz!
We went to Peppa Pig world yesterday, loved it!
He's a bit grumpy about it all, because apparently he doesn't really want the job Meanwhile I'm skirting around the idea of becoming an estate agent.
Lunatic Round our way most estate agents are either withered wide-boys or young whippersnappers with stupid haircuts and big attitudes. I am neither of these things, but disconcertingly about 5 people in the last 2 weeks have suggested I should consider it....
Ooh I might join up there LVB although I found it a bit overwhelming last time, moved really fast and I don't think I had my mojo. I'm not meant to be weighing but stepped on the scales last week and have lost 12lb since cutting out grains/sugar/dairy/alcohol
apart from last Saturday when my brother came and I sank most of a bottle of Prosecco.
I had a very successful low-carb meal tonight, by julienning a couple of courgettes on my mandolin - haven't ever done that before but it made extremely passable "spaghetti" like strands. I made a Dean & Deluca Puttanesca sauce recipe which is one of my favourite store-cupboard standby recipes, and then added the courgette to the sauce and steamed it off for a minute or so. It was actually very good spaghetti-with-lovely-tom-sauce! <chuffed, normally those pretendy recipes do nothing for me>
So - PP world - you would recommend?? Lots of queues or manageable? Any decent hotel recommendation or did you not stay over? I'm not sure it's really necessary... ?
New shoes have arrived, all good, very pleased. Now onto winter boots and a 'smart' pair of shoes and then THAT.IS.IT. Also in need of winter coats... quite like the look of yrs?i=3to4yrs this one from Next.
Kate - what do you do with all your girls - I tend to buy the same shoes and coats because I can't bear any arguments, but remember you buying different crocs for yours. How do you choose who gets which?!! I'm sure people when we're out must think I deliberately want them to look the same (they always have the same shoes) but I just can't bear the fighting!
On another note, I have bought Trunkis for the girls for this holiday. Anyone used them? Hope it's not going to turn out to be an expensive mistake!
I bought the Clarks shoes I linked to today, the girls love them, one pink pair, one purple.
We have white
crazy MIL little puffa type coats that were presents last year. Not entirely practical but cute on. I also bought really lovely surf coats from Cornwall, they are kind of a tartan material red with furry collars like bomber jackets. They are gorgeous, very hard to describe, but yes I bought the same, it was easier. I am getting less obsessed about them not matching, at first it really bothered me but Lots of people match siblings clothes. I'm just buying what I like, most of the time it doesn't match but I agree that shoes and coats it's just easier.
We have Trunki's they live permanently in our front room the girls love them
Where is Cerub? I hope everything is ok with her mum
Love the sound of your puttanesca mucky it sounds lovely. Have you tried making cauliflower or celeriac mash? Another yummy but no carb alternative
Sorry that didn't make sense. I don't like them to match exactly, always preferred their outfits to compliment each other <does that sound wanky?>
Mucky you'd be a brilliant estate agent, you love property don't you. Do you not want to return to tv?
Haha, you lot
stop talking Converse! I bravely charity-shopped pretty much all our baby clothes the other day. Not sure I should be pleased that there was only 4 carrier bag worth! I need to do some shopping for dd though. She's been wearing some weird combinations of stuff since it got a bit cooler. The boys are just growing out of their wellies now & I'm just going to get more. Guessing they will end up with Peppa this year. Undecided what to do about shoes. I think ds1 is OK but ds2 will need some soon & I was looking at some nice boots but might just go for shoes again. He seems to have had a huge foot growth spurt - had to buy emergency sandals last weekend when his crocs suddenly were too small! & still fitting last year's coats so far.
Love Trunkis but don't have any! Should probably get something like that to save rummaging in our giant suitcases when we go away.Will have to try the faux-spaghetti cos we've got a glut of courgettes at the moment.
+ALL if you are not low carving and like pasta, I grate courgettes fry with butter, garlic (&chilli if adults only) add pasta and loads of cheese, tis delish!
I also do courgette and raisin muffins yummy!
Will have to try the pasta dish. I remember a friend loving courgette muffin/cake too so have been meaning to try something like that. I've got 6 courgettes in the fridge & at least 5 more today getting near to being ready to pick. I'm not a huge courgette fan but they're easy to grow, cover a bit of ground & someone kindly gave me some plants...
Ugghhh ALL, I desperately need to do a charity shop splurge. The stuff just piles up, I look at it every now and then and think maybe I should ebay it, maybe I should freecycle it, and then I do... nothing.
Had quite a nice afternoon visiting a friend and her daughter (same age as the girls) in Surrey. We almost never hang out with other girls their age as almost all my friends have had boys and are older, so of course have almost no interest in my girls unless it's to push them over and roar in their face So it was lovely for them to hang out with an actual GIRL, and play in a wendy house (speaking of which, I had real 'big garden envy' as they had room for something like this in their garden, with actual STAIRS inside it and EVERYTHING. )
I forgot to say that yes, Cerub - [flowers] - hope all is okay with you and your mother.
Hi all, yes everything is fine with Mum thanks. She's gone away for a couple of days with my Dad which should do them good, and is expecting to have the op in early Nov I think, so until then just has to look after herself.
Watching the shoe/boot debate with interest, and wondering where Kate lives that you are going through a cold snap already? It's feeling a bit like autumn here in London but I am a fair way off thinking about cold weather gear yet. My assumption for this A/W has been a pair of Clarks for everyday and Wellies for wet/cold (with thick socks). Is that a bit too Oliver Twist then?
Have been ebaying a number of things that have been cluttering up the house for ages - a massive battery operated swing being my personal highlight to have got shot of. It is still quite an effort to list them, monitor the action on them and of course wrap & lug to post office on days off but might just about be financially worthwhile at the end of it all. To caveat that over the last 18 months we have done huge charity donations of baby clothes but with things like sleeping bags, which are so expensive to start with and really lightly used, I just can't bear to give them away for nothing
although when they sell for 99 pence I might as well do, grumble grumble. And they are easy to wrap thank goodness!
I have a few of last year's winter coats, more sleeping bags and their bouncy chairs to get rid of when I have another chance.
Meanwhile I've also been buying on eBay - got S a new all in one waterproof as I refuse to pay £40 for a JoJo one that again is hardly used - also need to get something for R on that score, and then eBay last year's
JoJo models! I'm going to a friend's 40th next month, which has a dressing up theme of Top of the Pops. Bankrupt of all inspiration, I'm going as Shirlie from Pepsi & Shirlie <old gipper emoticon> as it simply requires me buying a Choose Life tshirt, neon fingerless gloves, espadrilles, a wig and blue mascara. Sure that'll be a nice look!
Right, shut up Cerub and stop boring everyone about eBay now.
Was your afternoon only quite nice mucky because you are jealous of her Wendy house..? We have a trunki that R was given - haven't used it yet but imagine it will be loved. My only question is is it big enough? It seems to have minuscule capacity, so don't you just end up having to put loads of their
crap stuff in your case anyway?
mucky Only for crocs do I get them different ones - simply because I couldn't choose my favourite colour!
I showed them the pictures on the computer of the different colours they could have (that I'd picked) and miraculously they didn't fight!
Apart from that, they always have matching otherwise the fighting is constant. Everyone gets the same, and then we permanent-mark a picture on the sole. E is star, A is heart and J is flower - then we have no fighting over 'E has my shoooooe'.
None of the next coats take my fancy, but I love this hoody from M&S. Just seen the most gorgeous gilet too but I don't think we could get away with having just that as a winter coat.
I'm quite picky with coats - this looks cute in the picture, but has the potential to look not-so-nice in real life. Could this be nice do we think? Don't know if its a bit grown up for a 3YO?
Sorry for link over-load, but this joules one is very cute, and comes in a few different colours and patterns too.
Still stuck on winter boots
Last post before I feed my poor starving children - Trunki's are like some kind of Tardis - you can fit sooo much in them!
And yes, the girls do have 1 each because it simply would not have been fair if DTrips didn't have one too... we didn't think about then when pregnant with trips, and buying a Trunki each for DD1 and DD2
They are pretty cute though - mine use them as 'bashers', i.e. you just scoot along and bash into each other with them
We got the ladybird ones Kate, they are cute I have to say. Just hope they don't become a liability (ie. two extra bags to carry, along with stroppy toddlers) at the airport.
Love the idea of permanently marking things with a picture - will copy that!
Now of all those links you've given, the navy duffle is my favourite. I'm a bit pattern-phobic when it comes to clothes for myself, and think I'm passing on my nervousness about nothing 'going' with anything else so always tend towards plain muted colours for them too. I've been toying with the idea of getting them the Boden duffle coats which come in red and yellow, because they love those colours, but twitchy about it because <shock> what if what they're wearing doesn't go?? I actually really like that M&S duffle though, it looks great and I wouldn't say too grown up for a 3yr old at all. In fact I'm very tempted!
Good to hear from you Cerub. You're a braver woman than I going to any fancy dress party. I am rubbish at things like that - you'll rethink my Myer Briggs thingie when I tell you that I am ridiculously shy at dressing up!
E was up in the night with a fever last night, and they're both - thankfully - napping now. Hmm, let me see... first child comes down with an illness... 3 days before leaving for holiday? Yes, that'll be right, just like EVERY holiday we've ever had Am now gibbering slightly at the thought that, like clockwork, we'll all come down with it - perfect timing as per usual
I didn't realise Trunkis are ride-ons too - extra cool!
Good to hear your Mum is taking it easy Cerubina. Has she had any more info about the op - is it still going to be not keyhole surgery?
How's E now LadyM?
Dp was very surprised that I'd gotten rid of baby clothes. It is so not me. I put them in one of those charity clothing recycle things though. None of it was fantastic quality & has had a fair bit of wear. I decided to do it before I thought too hard about it but did have a big pang of sadness on driving past it. I do still have fluffy suits / sleeping bags too.
I need to ebay! Have never sold anything there & it scares me a bit. I will start with `local collection only' on the jumperoo. Dd hasn't had nearly as much use out of it as the boys did.
Ds2 had another meltdown / arms out of carseat harness episode on the way home from nursery today cos dp dared to put him in the back seat . Supposed to be going out for the day with them tomorrow & it's made me a bit wary...
Yes, although I hope the girls get better at riding on them or that they become more stable when full of their
crap stuff, because they seem to fall over the top of them when driving them around the house at the moment
E's a bit better today thanks ALL although still hasn't eaten anything solid - 36 hours now since she's had an appetite. Dropped her off at nursery this morning, think I'm going to be in for a shock when they start at the new place - where they are now they are almost completely disinterested in any illness the girls have and I've not once been phoned to come and bring them home. The new place will not be as tolerant, I'm sure. Also filling out their forms last night I see that we have to have everything name-tagged - not looking forward to that!
Meant to say too ALL we had a terrible time with 'traditional' car seats - the girls would ALWAYS manage to get their arms out of the straps, it completely freaked me out how impossible it was to make them tight enough to stop them doing it. It's one reason why we went over to the Kiddy ones which have a thick bar which wedges in front of the child, rather than a harness, and as Kate says it's impossible for them to get out.
When are you off mucky?
Hi all, sorry am do hopeless I am reading along but hardly have time to say anything at the mo. I'm saving up all my chat for our weekend away
Yep, ALL the cushion carseats are absolutely fabulous - I know that you probably don't want to buy a new carseat now as your boys aren't 'due' a new one. But the brilliant thing is that these seats turn into booster seats after the cushion is outgrown. Therefore, really, you're not spending any more money, but just buying a booster seat (which they will need anyway) in advance
I completely understand that you probably don't want to buy a new carseat, but just thought I would explain them, in case.
Trunki's are truly fabulous! Although it seems a bit ridiculous sometimes taking so many trunki's, its actually really helpful being able to have DC's clothes separate. We found it especially helpful with DD1 and DD2 when they had similar clothes in similar sizes - when its all bunged in together you have to constantly sort through it to see whose is whose, but when they are separated you can tell exactly who has what clothing left, what is dirty etc etc.
Another big thumbs up for the Kiddy car seats, they are amazing and yes, last till they're 12.
tarti we're off on Saturday. I am yet to start packing...
In other more sinister news, J has recently developed a biting habit. It's driving me round the bend. She gets so angry and upset if E for example takes something away from her the literally shakes with rage and if she's holding onto her sister, will pinch or bite her quite badly. I haven't been told that she's done it at nursery (I presume I would be informed?) but does anyone have any tips for dealing with it? The problem with the poor thing is that she is so upset at the time, partly with herself I suspect, that until she's been calmed down telling her off just makes her more and more and more upset. She point-blank refuses to apologise until she has calmed down, and I often have to give her massive cuddles to help her climb down from the rage, which seems inappropriate given that she's the one who's done "something wrong" whilst E is whimpering/screaming having been badly bitten. Once she's calmed down she is capable of being remorseful and apologising, and you can tell she is very upset with herself. Sigh.
PS: weekend away girls - I'm still up for it. My personal preference would be to travel on a Saturday morning, chill out for the afternoon/evening, have a lovely dinner
and hope I don't make a tit of myself by drinking too much wine, and then travel back on Sunday. If we make it January there have got to be some bargains on somewhere, I would have thought. Did we settle on York?
<hands over organising baton and prepares to attack empty suitcases>
Massively up for all of the above. We will hunt for deals and sort when you are back.
Re. biting, M is also prone to it and also suffers from similar-sounding attacks of rage. I am trying not to get too het up about it and to remind myself that at this age they have no control over or even understanding of their very strong emotions. it is hideous however. Yes, you would be told if it was happening at nursery.
Ooh, actually we're going to need next stage seats for dd soonish so might look into those. We could always put ds2 in if this is going to be a regular occurence. That said, I suspect dd might make it her own speciality . She is a total nightmare for nappy changing / dressing / buggy.
It's so hard with the emotional meltdowns. We haven't had the biting
til tomorrow now I've said that but you can tell they are v distressed by their emotions & don't know how to deal with it bit like me. Boys have walked loads today & poor ds1 had a huge meltdown when we got home. Fine when we were getting out of the car but by the time we got into the house something had gone Seriously Wrong . Had to leave him rolling round on the floor while I sorted dinner. But I have resorted to cuddles when previously it just didn't seem appropriate. I took ds2 to his room yesterday after his carseat meltdown & he just melted into me. Poor sausage.
A little boy came up to ds1 and kissed him twice today while we were at the zoo. Ds1 was not impressed lol. & then we thought he was in line for another from a little girl who wanted an in-depth discussion with him about what her Dad was up to. Ds1 does a good line in faces .
mucky my J is the same - doesn't bite, but just gets ridiculously angry. My only suggestion is to quickly march her to time out to calm down. We had the same 'cuddles to calm down' thing, but then I just thought that I am giving her more attention that the one who has actually been hurt! So we stopped that completely and now I just take mine up to their bedroom and just calmly, but firmly (key to everything!) say 'You do NOT hit your sister, you need to stay here and calm down and then you can say sorry'. And then I just leave them to calm down - mine come downstairs of their own accord when they are ready and calm.
We don't make a big deal about it - no shouting or getting cross, but we felt that we needed to make it clear that getting OTT angry was just not acceptable.
It works really well - if A goes to snatch of J and she starts getting silly, I just take her calmly and say that if someone snatches then she needs to come and tell me and not get all silly and cross.
Hope it helps mucky - its quite exhausting when they get so angry over the smallest things!
ALL at your ds1 pulling at the zoo (twice!)
Anyone else have huge meltdowns over what to wear each morning? Them not us I should clarify - R has a full on tantrum EVERY BLOODY DAY about whatever I've put out for her. Can you imagine the teenage version.
I agree with the others' suggestion, mucky. Getting J out of the situation quickly and without fuss should serve a few purposes, I'd have thought - allows you to comfort E, gives J the space to calm down without losing face, avoids you having the dilemma of who to go to, and may teach J in the long run that biting/losing her rag just means spending time on her own which is BOOOORIN'. I think little children hate to think that they're missing out on fun, so removing her from the situation and then making lots of fuss of E should help her see that staying calm is better. But I reckon that sort of action-->consequences thing is probably a while off when they're still in the grip of tantrums so the phase may go on a bit.
Hope the packing is going well and have a fab time en vacances. Greece this time, isn't it?
tarti have you experimented with letting R pick out her own clothes? (I can only imagine the colour/pattern combos a toddler would come out with!) It might be that she's just trying to seize a bit of control and letting her choose something she wants to put on might defuse the situation (while probably it would be a good idea to put aside a change of top when it turns out she's over or under dressed for the weather...)
Cerub/Tarti, I have exactly the same with V at the moment she'd preferably be nude but refuses all clothes, everything is "YUCK" it is driving me bonkers
Mucky I am keen for our meet up, need to convince DP though, funnily enough he doesn't like being left with the girls, tough luck I say
Kate can you link to the carseats again and also those special knives? Are you coming on our meet up. Would your DH be ok with 5 on his own ? <mind boggles>
Just a quickie LVB but here are the Kiddy car seats
Thanks all for the thoughts, I think you're right.
tarti - the only way I manage to dress them without too much fuss is to distract them in the process by having them plonked in front of the TV. Not that that's foolproof.....
Yes, off to Greece we go. Had bad news yesterday in that our planning application has been refused, and I'm half pissed off with the council planning department, but also with our architect somehow for letting it happen in the first place. We now need to start from scratch, highly depressing.
Hmmm she pretty much insists on choosing her own whether I 'allow' it or not... Her choice is always a manky old green and white striped hand me down t shirt.
Can I have a round up of who is now in beds rather than cots?
Us - cots. We have promised the girls beds upon our return. I am DREADING it. Although I have settled on the JL bed which is good.
We had a sad time tonight, for about the 4th night in a row the girls ignored their dinner. They are driving me half mad with either eating nothing, getting down from the table and running around playing (how on earth do I stop this nonsense??!!) or deciding that the only way they'll eat is in 'role play'. Ahem. Have I mentioned that at the moment the girls are deeply entrenched in a role play which involves one of them (Juliet) being the other one's (bossy boots Eve) puppy? The puppy is called Bella and does all sorts of tricks. It is simultaneously amusing and disturbing but today they were half way through that, having moved their plates onto the floor and pretending to feed each other whilst woofing and suchlike, when DH completely lost his patience and insisted that they sit at the table and eat. E refused completely and so DH said she wouldn't be allowed any milk before bed. This has NEVER happened and she is a complete milk-monster, she was utterly and then utterly distraught. He stuck to his guns, I was wobbling, but she has gone to bed without any dinner or milk and Very Sad Indeed. It's so bloody hard disciplining them, isn't it? <pathetic>
Have they been at nursery today mucky? Mine aren't remotely interested in food after a nursery day. And God yes, the getting down from the table. I've just started to get hardcore about it and take their plates away as soon as they vacate the chair as I can't stand it. Only has any effect if they actually want what I've given them though, which is maybe about a third of the time. I was really encouraged after our holiday because they had really improved but I think it was only because there were so many of us round the table, loads of adults and we all ate together - now we're at home it's back to square one. They are better when we eat with them (and when it's something they really like) but we only do this about 50% of the time.
Ditto to all of that tarti - it's always better when we eat together but we don't do it enough. Tonight though we were having something they both like (burgers and sweet potato and salad) but still not interested. Yes, twas a nursery day which may well excuse it partly - it just feels like it's every day at the moment. Oh how I look forward to the excruciating humiliation of feeding them in a hotel restaurant every day for 14 days........
I think Kate is the only one to have actually made the transition to beds? I can feel us getting closer. It certainly doesn't seem as unthinkable as it did just a few weeks ago. We switched all the furniture around
and finally got their curtains up last weekend in readiness. I want to make duvet covers first so still some time while I decide on fabric.
Luckily the boys don't really care what they wear but it's so much easier with boys anyway. Grab a pair of trousers & top & that's them sorted & the dressing bit is largely something that happens to them. Long or short sleeved is my biggest decision. Deciding for dd is already more difficult what with the matching item /colour / season & then fighting to get it on her .
Bummer about the planning app LadyM. Do you get any feedback other than a `no' to give you ideas where to go from here? Hope you can forget about it & have a lovely holiday.
We are having more issues at the table too. Boys haven't eaten as well as usual for the last week or so & I was hoping it was because we've all had awful colds again. Not convinced though. They are both really into standing in their seats / facing the other way & fiddling with the worktops. I tend to sit next to ds1 & he's taken to draping himself all over me which is so annoying when I'm trying to eat even if he is being cute. We had to stop putting them out of the kitchen cos rather than them sobbing at the gate, they saw it as an opportunity to go play with their toys so not a punishment. Now it's into their cots which they hate so it does cure bad behaviour
that mealtime. Another reason I'm reluctant to put them into beds, much as I hate using their bed as punishment.
I had a lukewarm response from dp about a possible night away too Lavita. I can't really complain since he makes such
stupidly big efforts not to stay away from home when he's travelling for work. I have cunningly suggested he should stay over next week and if when we have our work done on the house I'll take the kids away for a few days on my own.... setting a bit of a precedent & all that...
tarti and mucky - mine are the same after a long day! Definitely find that it helps when we eat with them - if DH isn't home (we normally eat together) I tend to half my dinner with girls and other half with DH. I find that otherwise I/they feel that I am just constantly watching them eat, and is probably too much pressure!
We don't tend to talk about 'eating' either - well, if its meat then we talk about what kind etc, other than that I try to make them talk about something completely different to distract them.
Mine are good eaters, so I can't complain really, but they do have 'off' days when they've had a long/tiring day.
Yep think we are the only ones in beds ALL - its still going okay, but we've brought in a new routine.. I had to slightly make it up and is a bit of a story..
Me and DH went out shopping together (rare occasion) and found these gorgeous teddies that are asleep - DD's do not need anymore cuddly toys, but these teddies were just soooooo cute. DTrips had been acting up the previous few nights so I told DH about this new sleep technique that uses teddies. He liked the sound so we got them! Basically, we hammed up these teddies and DD's all absolutely LOVED them - we then did a whole story about the teddies being tiny babies and that they don't know how to sleep like good girls yet, so DD's have to show them. Explained that if DD's can't show the teddies how to be good then their 'sleepy cuddly' is taken to mummy and daddys bed so that we can show them how to sleep nicely (that isn't supposed to sound so rude!!!). They were horrified at the thought of their new cuddlies sleeping with us! Instead of constantly concentrating on how naughty they are being, giving them the opportunity to keep being naughty, this technique is kind of making them want to be grown up and in charge of their special teddy. It is totally working - we are completely gobsmacked!!! First night we explained that sleep cuddly is really tired, but she isn't sure how to get to sleep so DD's need to show them how they go to sleep nicely. I didn't even sit in with DTrips - we didn't even hear a peep! Totally hammed up how good they were at looking after cuddlies in the morning!
Kate that is brilliant, amazing reverse psychology!
It's late but I just need to say I am so that Mucky is in Greece!
Oh Kate, I love it.
Also agree about not discussing food while they're eating it. My hardcore approach (leave the table, your plate gets taken away, no alternatives offered - ever - and no pudding if you haven't had a good go at first course) is having no discernible impact. But am sticking with it.
Thanks ladies, we can't believe how well its working!
Reverse psychology seems like the key for us! They just seem to hate the idea that they aren't good enough to look after their cuddly. When one DD is silly at night time, we are going to stick to our guns and take the cuddly away, but not focussing on the fact that it is a punishment, but on the fact that their cuddly needs to sleep and that they need to show them how etc etc. We love it, and the cuddlies are sooooo cute!!!
Tarti stick with the hardcore approach - even if it doesn't work, which I am pretty sure it will, at least that is your rule and that you always keep to it, IYSWIM? Its giving them rules and boundaries which, even if they don't eat anything, stay exactly the same, and something that you won't give in to.
We definitely have no alternatives - but then I never cook anything that they hate because you are kind of setting yourself up for failure! I do cook things that some aren't keen on though, as I think its important for them to understand that sometimes they do just have to eat what they are given.
I always find it so funny when we give DD's something completely new - DTrips squeal and scream and say that its 'gross' and that they 'not eating'. DD1 is a bit cautious and takes ages sniffing it; then DD2 jumps right in and scoffs it in.... then DTrips all fight over it and scream that its their 'faaaaaaavourite'!!!
I am so jealous of a hot holiday too I'm hoping to get round DH and book Disney for Xmas, just a long weekend. My excuse will be that I can't see us going on a hot holiday too soon, so we need a chilly one!
Hmmm.. I wonder how long it will take him to give in..
Haha, I am getting the impression that you are pretty good at wrapping dh around your little finger Kate!
Sounds like your cuddlies are working well! We have a vaguely similar thing in that the boys choose a toy
train to take to bed & we make a fuss of making sure it's orientated the right way & snuggled in . Boys invariably snuggle next to it. If they're in a grump we count to 3 then boy/train doesn't get snuggly & they hate that. Not sure what would happen if they weren't contained in their cot still though....
I agree with `rules is rules' too Tarti. We are slightly different in that pudding is still on offer but it's v rare for them not to have a decent amount of mains anyway. Two new things here today - smoked mackerel <yuck, I am so not a fish fan>. Ds2 wolfed it down but the other two weren't at all keen <yey>. Then a carrot/sultana/cinnamon cake I made. Ds2 wouldn't touch it til he realised the other two had had theirs. Then he tried it & immediately wanted MORE. I think I need to put cocoa powder in all cakes to fool them into thinking they're chocolate cake...
Just a quickie girls; tis late here in
sunny Crete - had a dramatic day with DH cutting his foot open, after having spent the morning helping a fellow hotel guest who fell over and was concussed; he then was also taxied to the hospital and walked in to join her in the A&E queue I have never seen so much of his blood; was gruesome!
In other more positive news, hotel is lovely and we look set to have a really relaxing break. I had no idea but the hotel offers 2 hours of free creche every day between 5-7pm, which actually works really well because we're tending to hang out with the girls in the morning on the beach, give them lunch, they are exhausted so going for a sleep 3-5ish (giving me the chance to relax by the pool for a bit - first time ever this seems to have happened!) and then having a couple of hours in this lovely playroom painting and larking about, then we all go for dinner putting them down to sleep at about 9pm. It's the first holiday the set-up seems to really "work" for us. Also it's 4euros for half a litre of really nice white wine - what's not to love?!
Okay, must get to sleep........ although wanted to say Kate so loving your style re. the cuddlies, am storing up your anecdotes for when we move the girls into beds. Which is soon. <gulp>
mucky Your holiday sounds like total heaven!
Firstly, and most importantly, the wine - brilliant! Drink bottles of the stuff and take some home with you too!
Loving the sound of the kids club - that routine is exactly what we used to do pre-triplets with DD1 and DD2 too. They would have a sleep and we would just lie and relax out of the sun, and then late out for dinner.
Never used a kids club before, but that timing sounds absolutely perfect!
Your poor DH and his foot? Is he back yet? Many stitches? Hope its not too painful!
ALL Hahahahahaha, what gives you that impression? <innocent>
Train technique sounds very similar - maybe a 'train fanatics' option for the 'cuddly technique' !!
Forgot to say with food, we don't do the 'finish every last morsel before pudding' - I feel like its encouraging them to eat when they aren't hungry, and just stuffing it down.
As long as mine eat most of their dinner, but are 'bored' (IYKWIM?) by the rest then they can have pudding.
I always think that sometimes I don't want to finish my dinner, but still want pudding, so go with that
Have an amazing rest of holiday mucky Still jealous!!!
Sounds absolutely ideal mucky - enjoy
No I don't insist on finished plates either (chance would be a fine thing). Just that if they piss off halfway through main course they don't get anything else.
I'm close to putting mine in beds now. Kate have you found it's had any impact, positive or negative, on night waking? Ever since our holiday in mid August we've been up at least twice every night - mostly it is just dummy-replacement but sometimes just they cry for us and we have to go in for a quick settle. It's driving us both mad. I know I should get rid of the dummies, everyone else I know has. I just fear they would NEVER sleep
Laughed out loud at your boys and their train snuggling ALL
Hmm, maybe a positive impact on night waking; but I would say that this is mainly because they are going straight to sleep when they go to bed rather than messing around for hours, thus not actually relaxing and falling asleep of their own accord. I don't know if that makes sense, but its kind of like how adults who read quietly before bed have a more rested nights sleep, compared to those who do maybe energetic things (can't think of an example!) before sleep. They used to spend up to 2.5 hours a night messing around in their cots.
We still haven't got rid of dummies yet - really need to but something always seems to crop up as to why we can't. DTrips don't really wake up in the night for dummies because they still have their Wubbanubs and so don't lose them, but with DD2 (DD1 a thumbsucker) we found that after the initial first nights, she slept more soundly because she wasn't waking to find the dummy, if that makes sense?
That's interesting Kate - that they go straight to sleep in beds after messing about in cots. Ours have recently started to take a while to get to sleep at times. Not that they're making noise / causing chaos but we think they've gone then we hear the gentle squeaking of a train as it shunts a few trucks , or some random conversation. Had a google & loving the Wubbanubs!
mostly great LadyM! How's dh doing? I hope you're not having to look after all 3 now?
Have you seen the new staffroom in Education Tarti?
Dp has his first night away tomorrow . Planning a relaxing, smooth bedtime for kiddies, a film then a stretch out in bed <ha>. Dp has wangled a flexiday on Friday so can't complain. Stupid car is in the garage again though so we might not get far .
I think its because they weren't being 'naughty' when they were in their cots - it would be pretty mean to go up and tell them to stop talking! They were never loud/screaming/shouting or anything, just quietly chatting - we didn't ever really mind it. But when they first went into beds they were quite silly - getting into each others beds etc. We did the 'sit in room/leave for 10 mins' routine, which worked really well to begin with; now we've moved on to the 'cuddly' routine - they rarely chat, just get into beds and lie quietly for max of 20 mins before dropping off. Sometimes I go up now at about 8/8.30ish and 1 is still awake, but not being naughty just lying quietly whispering to teddies, if 1 was awake before then they would be all awake having a party!
Yep Wubbanubs are the cutest but best invention ever!
We're currently wrapping presents for our beautiful DD2 who is 5 tomorrow! Her exact words were 'But mummy, my eyes are just soooo excited that they can't close... so I can't go to sleep!'
Happy birthday DD2! I hope you've all had a lovely day and she managed to close her excited eyes for a little while - bless! They are funny. Ds1 woke up a few weeks ago & told me his eyes had `finished being shut now'.
I was in that enviable position of being told ds1 had bitten a child at nursery yesterday . Though there seems to be some confusion over what actually happened. I told them he's probably modelling dd as thry hear `no biting' quite a lot at the moment & both boys are copying a lot of baby behaviours. Mostly for positive feedback - so pretending to be taking first steps, blowing raspberries, being spoon-fed etc.
Thanks ALL - she had a lovely day and a lovely weekend with family and friends
Poor you Re. biting - always makes you feel so guilty, when actually there is nothing you could possibly have done!
I definitely agree with older ones trying to copy baby behaviour - my eldest 2 constantly did it when DTrips were smaller, and still do it sometimes now.
Maybe just emphasise the fact he is definitely a big boy now, and big boys are far more exciting
How is everyone? Mucky I hope the holiday has proved as relaxing as expected once the hospital visit was over. Was DH's foot OK? No holiday plans for us at the moment - as melodramatic as it sounds, the fortnight in France was so little fun for me that I just have no enthusiasm for booking anything. That's a bit defeatist isn't it? I'm sure it was just a case of making a poor choice on what we did but the bad memory still lingers on...
Not much news here apart from the evolution of walking and language skills, like having two little cave people wandering around! They give me a bit of a dilemma at bedtime when I take them upstairs - both want to climb the stairs and won't let me carry them up. But both climb reeeeeeaaalllly slowly and spend ages looking around them as they go, so to get it over with more quickly and avoid having one sitting downstairs yelling for 3 minutes while the other gets to the top I have them both on the stairs at once. This is pretty dangerous. Did anyone develop tactics for getting them upstairs without screeching and danger involved, or should I just man up and put up with the protest?
We've always had our two on the stairs at the same time too Cerub & it
can does take forever. & then they start fighting / trying to push the other out of the way cos they both want to be first! I think it's OK as long as you have the time. They get to practice & build confidence. Dd is doing stairs now but is in the `only speed will do' camp!
We've had a lot & nothing happening here. We're off on our caravan holiday next Friday & being hassled about food arrangements. I planned it all for Centrparcs then parents brought what I said & a shedload more. Which we got left with. Our stupid car is in the garage again. Our usual garage couldn't fix it so suggested another half way across the city. Who also decided they couldn't fix it either once they'd looked at it. Finally found a garage & hopefully it will be fixed by the weekend but we've totally lost confidence in it so are probably going to buy a new one, hopefully in time to go away with . Need some convoluted plan to retrieve our car when fixed since we can't all fit in my car (which has also been in for repairs this week!).
Littlies have all been full of snot for ~3 weeks now & we've had our roughest nights in months with them! I think they're using the discovery of `need medicine' and `need cuddle Mummy' to their advantage. Seem fine (if full of cold) during the day.
Dd took her first steps at the weekend! Not sure we can claim she's `walking' yet, but she's standing well & taking 4 or 5 steps at a time with some level of control. Odd to think ds2 has only just been walking for a year .
Yay for DD taking her first steps ALL - I would class that as walking.
Cerub Do the 2-at-a-time up the stairs, they'll be fine. Just make sure you're not carrying anything so that you can catch them if necessary.
Not had a good few days here - DD1 (6) was diagnosed with idiopathic Scoliosis yesterday. We knew it was coming really, but now it has we just seem shocked. She is far too young to start all this horrible treatment plan of braces and casts over the next 8 years. She goes in next friday for a general anaesthetic and to be fitted with a thick cast from under her armpits to below her hipbones. Just in time for half term.. She won't moan because she never does, but it still seems so horrible and drastic and just generally shit.
Most girls are diagnosed around puberty - a horrible age to be diagnosed but at least they understand! DD barely knew what a 'spine' was until yesterday, let alone the fact that she will rarely see her own stomach for the next 8 years.
Sorry for crappy post - we will be over this shittiness soon, just need to wallow in my anger for a while.
Not been posting much lately, promise to catch up soon.
Humongous hugs Kate poor DD1 , it is only natural to feel upset, angry and to why life just isn't fair you are very strong and always sound like such a tower of strength and organisation for your family, which is so wonderful. We are all here to support you when you are not feeling so great, after Emme being so poorly it must really have taken it's toll and now this, I really feel for you
I hope DD2 had a fab birthday
Well done Cora on her first steps, so cute. I saw a friends newborn the other day and was overwhelmed by how broody I felt so I won't be visiting again for a while.
Cerub I just follow them behind on the stairs, they do get faster honestly.
I am currently doing the BIWI low carb no alcohol no fruit boot camp, let's see how long I last
Oh Kate. I'm just so sorry, I can't believe that you have this to contend with on top of E's condition! It would fell a rhinoceros, don't give a second thought to expressing your anger and frustration on here.
Poor DD. I can imagine she doesn't fully understand what's going to be involved in her treatment, but does she seem at least OK with the first step, having an operation and being in plaster? It must mean she'll need so much more help with bathing and dressing etc, not to mention just "dealing" with all the ramifications. Have you got much help besides DH? I can't remember if you have an au pair or anything, sorry.
I hope the curvature is relatively minor, being caught at this stage, and that all the braces and casts won't be too much of a burden for her and you. I guess you already have your coping strategy laid out with E's condition, one day at a time etc?? It does seem so harsh for a little girl to go through but from what you say she has a positive disposition and I'm sure you'll be brilliant at helping her get the best out of it all. Again, I'm just so sorry!
Thanks for the endorsement on staircase health & safety all of you, at least I'm not unusually reckless!
Oh Kate, I'm sorry to hear that . As Cerub says, even more a huge kick when you are dealing with E's condition too. Although I don't have experience of it, I did read a bit about it online when googling worries about ds2's spine. Is the hope that this will be preventative or is it corrective?
Good luck with your BIWI LVB <she says through a fog of gin >.
Our lot are totally miserable with this cold. poor things. I really thought dd was off to A&E yesterday as she was so hot & her breathing weird but luckily a bit of Calpol sorted it. She
I had a very disturbed night too - v unusual. & ds1 cried/ whinged / rolled around wailing for 2 1/2 hours this afternoon. I was almost up the wall. He variously wanted to stay in cot after nap... but didn't.... needed cuddles... but didn't (`not from mummy today' anyway ), wanted (or didn't want) Daddy/ Thomas Tank/ dinner/ ice pop/ story / cuddles from ds2 aaargh the list was, truely, endless .
We just heard our building work should start in a few weeks . So, in the next week or so we need to plan/choose/order a new kitchen, make sure our builder can work around the specialist company doing the important stuff, pack away our entire ground floor, (possibly buy a car)..... and then go away on holiday with all grandparents for a week . It will be ok ...
Thank you LVB and Cerub - sorry for the angered post.
Feeling okay now, its just the initial diagnosis is so shit and I didn't think they would take such drastic action straight away.
It just makes me angry that she is a beautiful innocent little 6YO whose childhood is going to be ruled by a bloody great brace/cast. I know that is slightly over-exaggerating, but even going swimming - her favourite thing ever - until she gets braces that she can take off for an hour a day, she won't even be able to swim or bath; and even when she can go there will always be a limit to what she is doing.
Cerub We haven't told her the treatment plan in full, as such, as I don't really think that, at the moment, she needs to know that she might have to be braced/casted for the next 6/8 years. But she knows that she will be going into hospital next week for the cast to be put on - its hard explaining it really. I know she is 6 and understands what a cast is, but she thinks of a cast as 'fixing things that are broken' (she broke her leg when she was 3) and then you're all fixed and the cast comes off. Its tricky explaining that its not going to come off? She is easily pleased and is actually quite excited about being promised a pink cast - I'm sure this excitement will be short-lived!
I've joined an online forum and spoken to a few other mums and they've said that children go back a few steps as they are so dependent on you having to do things for them. Even doing up her shoes and picking things off the floor because if the cast comes particularly low then she won't be able to bend well. No baths for 3/4 months, hairwashing over a sink etc etc.
I know this is going to sound incredibly selfish, but I honestly don't have the extra time throughout the day (mostly school mornings and bath time) to be doing everything for her. Of course I will make life as easy as possible for her and make time because it is her that is suffering at the end of the day, not me. I just feel horribly guilty for thinking about me and how I will cope, when she is the one who has something wrong.
But yes, we've explained the general anaesthetic - like I said, she is extremely easy going and laid back about it all. She also will never whinge about any of this - sounds brilliant, but I hate it when I can see the pain in her eyes but she doesn't want to say. I've read that sometimes the casts/braces just don't fit properly and can cause huge blisters and rub the skin raw, but I'm worried that she won't tell me - even if its a bit sore.
I can't remember whether I said or not but Emme had the operation for her Mic-button, went absolutely fine and we are really pleased. Had no issues and she has got on with it brilliantly - literally we just 'plug' her in at night, unplug her in the morning and no one knows any differently! So the past few weeks have been worry-free bliss!
One last thing (sorry, long post!) Isla and I have decided to start a new list with all the fun things that come with a brace. So far we have a few things like:
- You can play the drums on it
- It will keep you really warm in winter
- You can probably draw on it
- It will be funny to watch people poke her tummy and see its actually hard
etc etc, so if anyone has anything has any funny ideas, DD1 would be very grateful ;)
Not selfish at all to be thinking that way, Kate. Or at least, I'd be the same. You already have a very, very busy life so this is shoehorning extra work into it that I can only imagine you don't see the time and space for. The impact of I's cast will be felt a lot by you, because as you say she is going to be more reliant on you than she has been for quite a while and it must be very frustrating. You need time to assimilate and get used to the ramifications of this because it's a big change to your life and routine, so it's COMPLETELY natural to be worried, angry, and yes a bit 'why me' about it.
If you can afford it, could you get a mother's help/au pair type of person, at least to be around in the mornings and bedtimes, just to be an extra pair of hands? I would think seriously about that so you're not completely frazzled. It's very sad to think of her not being able to swim and enjoy things that she currently does. I guess you will have to be creative on coming up with other hobbies that she can get really into, I'm sure the forum you've joined will be really helpful for other mums' experience and support. I keep thinking about you and Isla since reading about it, I really sympathise and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for you.
ALL, that sounds like a really full plate. You could do without the kids being poorly at the same time - hope they are all better v v soon and the whingeing stops even sooner! Have you got basic ideas about the kitchen at least, or is it a question of deciding what you want, finding suppliers, getting a design etc? I would definitely make use of a shop that can do a mock-up design for you based on your measurements, rather than trying to design it yourself. They often factor in things you wouldn't have thought of - ours for example came up with a pull-out recycling bin in one of the units, which is really useful otherwise we'd definitely have ended up with a horrible orange bag lounging around in a corner of the room being gradually filled up during the week.
How's the diet going LVB? Am I being thick, I can't even imagine what BIWI stands for?
Thanks for the reassurance Cherub - sorry didn't mention in last post that we still have our nanny, so obviously lots of help there.
Although we don't have any family nearby, we've got lots of lovely friends who will help out with appts and everything.
DH is brilliant anyway and will just have to go into work late and/or come home early. I'm sure we'll be fine like that, but nanny is lovely and is always happy to help out earlier and at night times.
Consultant did say that she would be quite tired for a while as she's only a tiny thing and obviously the cast will be pretty heavy and bulky, and she'll be using lots of muscles that she doesn't normally use.
We are contemplating asking her about moving into her own room again - DD1 and DD2 chose to go in together when triplets went in together. Maybe we are over-thinking it, but in the summer months if she's really hot at night and can't sleep, or isn't comfy or whatever then at least we'll be able to go in with her w/o waking DD2. Would be nice for her to decorate new bedroom and pick out new bits - we need to get her a new orthopaedic mattress really.
We are going shopping together at the weekend to buy lots of new clothes - they have warned us that the cast will be pretty bulky and so she will need stretchy clothes that will cover it.
Apart from mattress, we are trying to think or any other things that we need to get in.. DD suggested some long sticks incase she gets an itchy back or tummy!
Just popped in to quickly catch up as have fallen by the wayside due to girls having a tummy bug this week and life generally being mental... But kate I'm so sorry about that diagnosis and the bloody long treatment you can see stretching ahead of you. It is just not fair. Rant away. Huge hugs, I will write more when I'm on a computer rather than silly phone.
Sorry you've had poorliness ALL. This week was the first time mine have had the same thing at the same time, other than colds, and it's been interesting!
Hi to everyone else, I'm waiting for pizza delivery (swears lavita to secrecy ) and will be having a very early night. DH has promised me a few hours' child free shopping in the morning
Oh Kate! Isla might be the one who will physically go through the treatment but it's going to have such an impact on you that it's more than understandable to have those emotions. &, as you say yourself - you currently have a far better understanding of the realities. I really feel for you all. Glad that you've found a forum to talk to some proper experts. If she isn't keen to move rooms at the moment then maybe you could bear it in mind if you feel she is in need of something to focus on in a few months once she is in the middle of it all? Hmm... will have a think about some positives. The only thing I can think of at the moment is to use it as a secret hidey hole for siblings small toys [evil] or a secret sweet stash.
I saw an episode of `Come Dine with Me' this week where someone had a gloss red kitchen Cerub. If I were brave enough & we weren't doing it with selling in mind then I'd be v tempted by that! In terms of resale I know white gloss is good but dp has a bit of an aversion to `plastic-looking' kitchens so we're almost certainly just going for an oak shaker-style B&Q jobby with a dark worksurface
as our builder is going to pass his discount on to us. I had a guy from an independent kitchen place come & design last summer but I think we could get a better design. It suddenly occurred to me w could move appliance around to get the kitchen working a bit better - doh! I've done a few on the Ikea / B&Q planners so I've booked for a design consultant someone to come & do a design next week. Then work out what to do about appliances. We'd decided to go for all new integrated but we have a really nice Miele tumbly that I'm a bit loathe to get rid of so that needs a bit of thought. Ooh... bit of an essay there...
& while all the grafting is going on, I should be oop norf with the littlies - we'll have to see if we can match our diaries Tarti (though I think part of the time might be half term?) . Ugh, multiple tummies is not pleasant! Boys seem a bit better today though ds1 was complaining of having a sore ear after nap today. Dd still poorly & we were sitting in bed last night again discussing whether she needed a dr as I keep worrying it's heading towards bronchioloitis again. Have discovered another tooth today too though so hopefully that is partly explaining her discomfort.
Thanks Tarti hope to hear more from you later.
Thanks to you too ALL is lovely being so reassured by you all We haven't asked her about changing rooms yet - I'm not sure why..! But you're right, maybe I could suggest it when we've had a 'rough' patch! I am loving the sounds of those positives - Isla will love them!
Been feeling a bit more positive tonight and passed the angry annoyed stage, then went on another normal forum I am on and just let them know whats going on. Got loads of lovely comments and then 1 fucking annoying person saying that we should 'count our blessings' as she works with the poor people who have 'untreatable scoliosis'. And also said that Isla will lead a normal life, apart from having a brace - I am not trying to make it all out to be worse than it is, because I would do anything for her to have nothing wrong, but she isn't going to be able to lead a completely normal life because she won't even be able to get dressed on her own, put her own shoes on, wipe her own bum, pick things up off the floor. Yes she is 'normal' in the fact that she has nothing mentally wrong with her, but its still going to be a bit of a nightmare sometimes. I know it sounds like I am wanting it to be worse than it is, but I'm genuinely not - maybe its because I'm still in the panic mode of how we are going to do silly simple things, I don't know. And I can't explain it, but the way she wrote it makes it sound as though she's being all nice because she says she can give me 'tips' and bullshit like that, so no one else can see it as a bitchy comment, IYSWIM?
God, now I just sound like a paranoid, over-sensitive psycho!
Anyway, ALL gloss kitchens are really lovely though - we had one of those men come in and plan it all out too, was pretty cool! Now, I know this is going to make me sound really stupid, but could you not just request a cupboard the same size as your Miele, and just stick it in? = integrated tumbler..
I have to say, I wish we'd never gone for an integrated fridge - we had a bloody nightmare with ours.. the fridge door was basically too heavy for the cupboard door and so would pull the fridge open all the time and then it just wouldn't close properly.. it took them so many times to actually fix it, and even now you can't just slam the door shut, you have to 'push' it shut..
I know that you know this all already, but don't take any bronchiolitis queries lightly ALL - i know you've probably heard the story a million times but DD was in PICU for over 3 weeks on a ventilator after she just contracted really bad bronchiolitis - it obviously then turned into numerous other things, but thats how it started; and they constantly fobbed us off with stuff. Am not saying it to make you freak out, just aware - sorry!
Hello everyone, I've been away from MN for a while. Took a break, and then didn't get back into it much (which was the point in taking a break) but I have been reading occasionally, and think I have caught up with everything.
kate I'm so sorry to hear about your DD. I've always really admired how you calmly manage with the 5 DDs and with DT3's health problems, (I'd be running round like a headless chicken with all that on my plate) and can only imagine what it must be like to have the added worry of an operation and prolonged treatment. DD sounds like a wee star. I wish there was something I could do to help. If there is anything, I know it is unlikely over the internet and a distance of 400 odd miles, please let me know. In the mean time, just use us to rant at.
Life with me is reasonably hectic. The boys (now 2 1/4) are doing well. D is talking really well, but J is still very slow. He gets speech therapy due to his cleft palate and they are pretty happy with him so that's good. They spend most of their waking hours squabling. Hopefully just a phase, but exhausting nonetheless. They are still in cots, D still has a dummy and they are miles off potty training. H (now 4 1/2)is doing really well too. The main change at the moment is DH is returning to work (after almost 2 years as a SAHD) so we are looking into nursery and childminders. For the first couple of years all his salary will go on childcare, but the job is ideal and on our doorstep and he needs to get back into the industry otherwise he'll get too out of date so he has to take the opportunity even though we will (in the short term) be financially worse off.
Hope the rest of you are doing well, have read but can't remember any specifics, but hope the bulk of illnesses are passing.
Great to see you chesti. Yours and mine are a week apart if I remember so it's nice to have an update on J&D... Glad H is doing well too . Your DH going back to work must feel like a momentous thing for all of you. I feel like my salary only barely exceeds the childcare, once the salary sacrifice vouchers come out, so I understand that feeling of only really working to keep your hand in, so to speak. How does he feel about it?
kate - I genuinely think that what you do is amazing. You mustn't let a comment from some random tactless person, clearly dealing with their own agenda, make you feel bad about your response to dd's diagnosis. Of course you feel devastated for her and all you can see are the things she won't be able to do, but of course she will come through it stronger, having the support of such a wonderful mother not to mention her fabulous gaggle of sisters - I'm actually thinking this kind of thing is where big families come into their own - imagine how much your girls will help out as they get older and how fiercely they will defend each other.
I hope all this doesn't sound too trite, I am sitting in Starbucks actually feeling tearful on your behalf that anyone would make such a comment to you.
ALL - would love to meet up, keep me posted!
Hi Chesti and welcome back! I have long wondered where you went to, very naughty to be away so long but glad you tracked us down. As tarti says, big changes afoot for you with your DH going back to work, but I hope you get used to the new order without too much trouble, and the boys enjoy going to nursery. My two really love theirs, I swear that they hate Wednesdays because they don't get to go! I wonder if being around other children and adults helps J's speech come on a bit more - I think they do blossom a bit when there are other people (especially older children) to emulate, even though I'm sure you and your DH have been doing everything you should and he's having the speech therapy too.
Kate, what tarti said is just right. Try to ignore the lone voice of non-support because it sounds as though all the positive messages should drown her out. Of course it would be worse if DD's condition was untreatable, but that's hardly to say that having a treatable but chronic condition isn't something to be angry about! Even if ultimately you do find it's not so bad, it's for you to get to that point, not someone else, and she is an idiot to think you can rush there just on her say-so. Fancy telling you to be bloody grateful..! I don't think anyone thinks you are making it out to be worse than it is or over-dramatising. She's a fool, so concentrate on all the support.
Ha, Chesti - what makes you think I don't run around like a headless chicken! You are so right though, DD1 is a little star.
Aww Tarti I know that you are right about other DD's helping DD1. Before E was first poorly and we didn't know what it was, we never really realized the true 'bond' between DTrips - they were only about 2.4YO but the days where E didn't even venture off the sofa, they would take everything to her - read her stories, bring her her favourite toys, do things to entertain her. We just thought they were ignore her and be bored by the fact that she stayed on the sofa all day, but it was the total opposite. If we asked them if they wanted to go to the park, they would ask for a 'DVD snuggle' and run to snuggle with E - never heard them turn down a park visit before then! Anyway, getting slightly off the point, but I know that DD's will really help keep her positive! As they are all younger, I think they will be the ones who will just carry on as normal and so keep DD1 grounded.
We talked about DD1 and the scoliosis over dinner the other night and explained it all without trying to ram it down their throats or make it sound as though she was terminally ill or something - they were all listening very intently when A pipes up with 'I can heelp wash your feet Isla' - was very sweet and funny!
Cerub I am over the anger now, but still pissed off with this one person. Everyone else had been so so lovely, and even though most said they couldn't give much advice as didn't know much about it, the one woman (in her post) just made it sound like I was totally over-dramatising it all.
Chesti E has speech therapy too and I definitely think that Nursery/Pre-school helps bring them on
Re. dummies/beds etc. Trips were 3 in June and they still have dummies! Ooops! They are in beds now, and we've had some funny techniques for that! J and A are doing great with potty training and planning on training E in October half term - if all goes to plan! Still a bit worried about how we will manage because of the effect of her overnight feed on her bowels.. I will say no more!
Hiya Chesti - how was the work trip? Would love to see a bit of Japan (assuming you had some playtime anyway). Congrats to dh on his job - sounds like a good long-term plan in the making. I'll be in a similar position of seeing little of my wages when I go back.
Some people Kate! It sounds like she is the one needing a drama. Things may be `worse' for someone else, but that doesn't mean your problems are negliible or that they don't take some time to get your head around??
Hmm, we have that set-up already for our tumbly & washing machine. It's ok but feels a bit... ad hoc / unfinished / make-do? I'd like to have it done `properly' if we're going to spend lots of cash. Also, our current kitchen was installed by the previous owner who was a joiner & the units are higher & worksurfaces wider than standard so I'm not sure if it would work so well with a standard fit kitchen? Interesting to hear about your integrated fridge probs - will look out for that! still dithering on build-in double oven at eye-level thing, or a range. & I've always been set on a gas hob but have been reading rave reviews on induction hobs. Hmm...
I took dd to a&e today & she does have bronchiolitis - I hope this isn't the beginning of a looooooong winter. They gave me the option of keeping her in but said she dosn't need O2 support at the moment so they would just be doing obs which they were happy that I'm sufficiently clued-up to do at home. More comfy at home so I opted for that.
How's DD, ALL? Hope she is feeling much better and you were able to stay away from hospital. Poor sausage, it's awful for them. Hope you're not having too much disruption to your sleep.
How's everyone else? All OK here, off to Belfast for a flying visit on Saturday for that fancy dress party I mentioned a while ago. Have changed horses mid-stream and am now going as Bjork in swan dress from the Oscars - I have a friend who's brilliant with sewing and had rustled it up for herself for another party. Tried it on earlier and it is bonkers but better than what I had in mind! Will be very exciting to be away even if just for a night (though I will struggle with a late night - I think I am incapable of keeping eyes open past 11pm since twins!)
Better run, they're waking up. S has not been in the best mood today, shall we say. I feel a long walk coming on...
<at the risk of killing the thread yet again>
Dd is much better thanks - feel like we're coming out of a bit of a fog of illness. Sleep has been much disrupted by all the littlies with boys needing cuddles / being nose-blocked and dd coughing all night. We decided the boys were just playing up at night now they're a lot better so have got tough with them again & after a couple of better nights, we're all feeling a bit more human.
Off on holiday tomorrow. Really looking forward to it, though we have just had to hire a car `cos our one is poorly again.... It's MIL's bday while we're away so we've spent the morning making & decorating biscuits & cards. Just need to finish sewing her bag and then pack
I've just postponed our building work too. We're just not ready and I've been getting uncharacteristically totally stressed out by it all. So now the plan is Feb half term. Shame it won't be done before I go back to work / in time for Xmas but I feel so better now I'm not stressing about it.
Hello all. This is probably the wrong time for me to start a post because it's time to feed the girls, but wanted to check in - have been very remiss about not posting since our return on Monday..
Kate - just wanted to add my hugs and thoughts re. Isla's diagnosis. She sounds like an incredibly brave girl and she's very lucky to have you as a Mummy, being her champion. I second/third/fourth what everyone else said about that ridiculous woman - I hate that kind of 'competitive bad circumstances' thing, where you can't complain about anything because at least you're not a starving child in Africa etc etc. We all feel the pain for our children, because we want them to have as healthy, happy, and easy life as possible. I struggle enough with mine having a squint (both children it seems) and Eve's constipation. You moan away here as much as you like.
Holiday was truly lovely - Cerub I am tempted to harangue you with details about it because I really think you would like it there and I would challenge you not to enjoy it
especially knowing that by the time you went, S & R would be older and therefore easier to take anywhere We made great friends with another family, and she also worked in TV (very successfully, unlike my damp squib of a career towards the end ) - and she has inspired me to think that I could even <whispers> get a job if I want one that would work around having children. In fact she has even offered to help me on that front - so it could potentially have been a very good holiday indeed. Fingers crossed.
Girls started new nursery yesterday, jury still out. Early days, although the girls seemed to love it.
I'll be back later to write more - but ALL - have a great trip!!!!
Marking place. Welcome back Mucky, have a fab time ALL!
Marking my place too, sorry I've been rubbish lately, very busy with the new business and had been studying for my driving theory test, luckily I passed!
Cerub you looked fab dressed as Bjork! Did you have fun? Did your friend like her gift?
Mucky so jealous about your holiday!
ALL I hope Cora is on the mend I think you did the right thing postponing the building work, it is a nightmare and so messy!
Kate How are things with you? Did I say that I bumped into the triplet mum here, she is doing fantastic and I've given her my number, if she ever feels like adding 2 naughty toddlers to the mix one day xx
Hello all. I was starting to get break-thread-phobia
ALL - sorry I missed that Cora had bronchiolitis. Poor thing, and poor you - J had it at 9mo and was hospitalised for 5 days; I was traumatised by it. How is she now? Agree with LVB re. putting off the building work - I always know I've made the right decision when I feel immense relief having made it.
Cerub - come and tell all re. the party. You looked fab! Did you enjoy your time away?
Has all been a bit up and down here. I'm panicking about our architect situation, am so crap at confronting things and I think we are going to either ditch our original architect and go with another I've found, or ditch them both and leave it for a bit. The news sank in while we were away that we'd effectively wasted £3k on the plans that have been refused - the architect said that to re-draw new ones (we need to start from scratch really as have to rethink the whole scheme) she wants 50% extra on top of what we've already paid. We think she should have known we'd be highly unlikely to get permission granted and flagged that up before submitting - which she didn't. It's all a bit horrible and I'm dreading dealing with it. She's really lovely and has just had a baby, but I'm just not sure we should continue with her if we have our doubts. Bleugh.
Also DH and I had a dreadful week last week although it seems to have turned a corner. He's been excellent with the girls over the past few days, and seems to be growing in confidence re. taking them out on his own for little excursions.
Quick one mucky - ditch the architect, trust your gut!
I would find a builder/ architect combo if that makes sense. We spent a fortune on ours when we did the loft extension and our builder didn't follow the plans the architect didn't really follow up well and cost us a fortune.
I would ask everyone you know locally for recommendations, you do not want to lose money, some people are serial cowboys
bitter voice of experience
Spend your money on a good project manager, you don't want to do it yourself honestly
Sounds like an awkward but necessary conversation is in order there mucky.
Can I just say, Day Two of potty training
How's the diet going lavita?
Bravo tarti! We're still in nappies <bad mother>
Thanks both - LVB your post inspired me to go off in search of local recommendations and I've just spoken to a lovely husband and wife team locally - they're coming over for a chat on Wednesday. We did meet a second guy last week but OMG you couldn't have invented a more stereotypical architect than this guy - flamboyant scarf and corduroy jacket, imposing alpha male type. He really dominates our local area and everyone seems to use him, but I didn't gel with him at all and worried our house would end up looking like a glass and white gloss box. Which I don't want
and can't afford
Good luck tarti - I am in despair as to how/when to attack the demise of nappies next. Juliet starts each day saying she wants to wear pants, which she wears until she wants a wee and then she asks for a nappy again.
In other news, the girls beds arrive tomorrow....
Very bad Tarti, I don't think living with an Italian I can really give up carbs, and I am very partial to a -- bottle-- of red wine.
You really do not look like you have any weight to lose - I would continue to enjoy the red wine and pasta if I were you!
To be honest these days I'm less bothered by my weight than by my general haggard, old and tired appearance. Not much I can do about that
Just catching up with Downton, sob
Yes, c is much better thanks. She had it at 6wks too LadyM & was in hospital between Xmas & new year. Mainly just a nasty cough now, though she is teething like mad at the moment too.
Definitely made right decision about the work here - and might even save some money if we buy our new kitchen in the sale. Bad enough coordinating our work - thought of architects etc, even without the added worry of that convo is not good.
Still haven't seen Downton Tarti, but even I have not missed that storyline!
eek potty training tarti. My boys are miles off I think. H was 2 years 7 months and she cracked it completely in a week, so am planning on leaving the boys until after Christmas unless they really show huge signs (like taking themselves off and sitting on the toilet themselves!)
Second trial day at nursery for the boys tomorrow. The first 1 hour trial was OK apparently, though J was pretty teary. 2 hours tomorrow. They start properly next week. D all day Mon and Tues afternoon, J Mon afternoon and all day Tues. Granny is covering H in the afternoons ( she is in nursery school in the mornings) and one boy on alternate mornings. All very complicated! DH only working Mon and Tues until Christmas. Will be funny seperating the twins but I think it will do them good
Hope today went well at nursery for the boys Chesti?
Potty training going quite well - R seems to have cracked it for wees (but not poos, YUCK). M still having accidents but this evening twice asked and then successfully went so fingers crossed for tomorrow. Foresee more problems ahead though as R was crying at bedtime in her cot because she'd done a wee in her nappy (still wearing them for nights obvs) not quite sure how you deal with that when you've been ramming the message home all day...
Hope everyone well. In laws up this weekend, renting a cottage in Northumberland and have offered to have the girls for a night. Yes please! I'm not so bothered about the night but will be delicious to have a lazy Sunday at home in peace. Although obviously I'll miss them terribly
Work is doing my nut in, roll on half term
Yes, how did it go chesti?
I am having a period of Not Coping Very Well here... The girls are driving me utterly insane, and for some reason I am too tired/depressed to cope with it. Debating the point over every little thing, them refusing to eat (and smirking as they get down from the table or push the plate away saying "I don't LIKE xxxxx". They are SO tired too (I'm sure this accounts for most of their bickering) because they're not sleeping in the evenings till about 10pm - I know partly this is because we're in that horrible twilight zone where nothing seems right re. lunchtime naps - they had an hour at nursery yesterday, waking at 2.30pm and being crotchety and exhausted throughout the afternoon. Put them to bed at 7.30pm (this is a bit early for them) but they were a NIGHTMARE until 9.30, screeching and playing and full of high jinx. We have their beds here and I am dreading putting them up so much I fear the boxes will stay in our room for months on end I went in at about 9.30pm last night only to find Juliet had just been sick - copiously and EVERYWHERE, all over the floor, duvet, cot, pillow, toys - she had seemed fine before and was absolutely fine afterwards so I can only think it was being so unbelievably boisterous which caused it. They were sat there with red rings around their eyes and clearly exhausted but still refusing to lie down and try to sleep.
So today I'm thinking about not letting them have a nap, or maybe build the beds, be brave, and start this hideous transition into beds. Will I live to regret it; feels inevitable.
I think we're all feeling a bit overwhelmed. DH still not working and although he's been in good spirits most of the summer and talking about how he had decided to "take the summer off"; it's now reached that time where he has to start to get serious about getting a job - there's a risk of money running out and of missing the busy time before Christmas quiet sets in. I think I am anxious about that too.
Also the fact that we're settling them into the new nursery means we haven't really had any respite from them with their tiredy ness, the house is a tip, god knows what we think we're doing trying to plan for building work when neither of us has a job, and........argghh! Time to simplify things I think.
On that note and to that end, I have embarked on an Ebay spree. Not just buying things - I've resolved to buy most of the girls' winter clothes on there this year - but also finally having that clear out. Started listing things to sell last night, got as far as one pair of boots (which clearly states on the listings "check out my other items - having a massive clear out!") only to be distracted by Juliet's puking and my subsequent hanging-head-in-hands depression about everything. Bah.
(Apologies for me-me-me rant, just not sure how to ever get on top of things at the moment)
On phone so can't type much but sounds like you all have lot to deal with atm ladym. Can you try lying with girls? Not good long term but if it gets you all a but of respite? I(ve done it this week for naptime with boys.
Had an ok week here tho now we have fil back, my mum been up most of night with poorly tummy <sigh>. Worse than the kids. Am off to
hear her woes see her now while boys sleep.
How is Isla & your adjustments going Kate? Sorry, I meant to ask earlier.
Sounds like you have a lot going on LadyM. My advice would be (like you mentioned yourself) to get the sleep sorted again and hopefully everything else will fall back into place. Have you thought about separating the girls at bed times? Do you have enough room to put them in separate rooms? My godchildren (b/g twins) got separate rooms at about 18 months because they just kept each other awake. Otherwise you could put one to bed first and let them settle and keep the second one up for special one on one time? Alternate nights?
Fingers crossed your DH finds a jobs soon, it must be stressful and that is probably rubbing off on the girls as well. Have you thought about going back yourself and DH being a househusband? Worked really well for us.
The boys did okish at nursery on Wed. Still quite a few tears. God knows what D will think when he gets plonked there on his own on Monday for a full day .
Thanks gals. Actually chesti that is great advice re. putting them down separately - we often do/did that at lunchtimes although I'm not sure it would work in the evenings. Eve is often far more tired than her
ALL - also good advice re. lying down with them, I'm sure we'll have to resort to that sort of tactic. I was going to ask how you did things on holiday. We've always made sure we had travel cots when away, those days are over now I fear! Think I need Kate's expertise here; with her having gone through it with her DTrips - puts my woes into perspective. How are things Kate?
Humph. Ended up putting them down for a very early nap (11.45 - 1.30) so we'll see if they're tired at bedtime. I can't bear the sight of the giant lumpy parcels in our room and that is what's driving me to build their beds, although am so bloody anxious about it. The girls are starting to ask about their big beds all the time, because we
stupidly told them we were getting them some.
Oh mucky sounds like you're having a right old time of it. When we got back from our summer holiday we had weeks of trouble getting them to settle and sleep through, so perhaps it's related?
If it were me I'd be inclined to get the beds put up and deal with it all in one fell swoop since they're being 'challenging' anyway, but I too am shitting it about the transition to beds so I do sympathise and I too will be looking to Kate for advice!
My thing at the moment is dummies. I am desperate to get rid of them but can't bring myself to. Keep looking at M's teeth though - she has slight overbite which I'm sure is getting worse. They only have dummies in cots, but still, I really hate them. M just really seems to need hers
I have started to instigate the odd chat about the dummy fairy/giving them to Father Christmas (met with blind panic from M), so we will see.
To be fair I was dreading potty training and that hasn't been anywhere near as bad as I thought - not that it's worked yet you understand, it just hasn't been as much hassle as I was anticipated - so maybe I should just grow a pair and ditch the dummies.
Thanks tarti. Girls are at their first full day of nursery today so I'm going to man up and build the beds. Have told nursery to give them just one hour of sleep - last night they went down very easily, and had only had an hour's (early) kip. It might also have something to do with not letting them have their
stupid nightlights from Ikea which I bought them in an act of lunacy and let them have in their cots and which they spend hours making pretty rainbows with and gooning at each other across the room rather than sleep
Re. dummies. I think it's good to start to build up to it by talking about it - we did that and then Juliet started volunteering the idea that she was too big to have one and that she wanted to give it to a baby. We posted them in an envelope, and I got her to help parcel them up and actually put the envelope in the postbox. Then whenever she was upset about it we would talk about the fact that she had done that and that she had said she was too big to have a dummy. It was heartbreaking at times, because you can see the conflict in them that they want to be grown up but they don't want to let go of babyish things which comfort them. In retrospect, I'm sort of glad we did it but also had times of wondering if it just wasn't my own shame driving the decision to get rid of it - I knew it had to be done and hated how dependent she was upon it. She only used it for sleep but always seemed to manage to find one in the house and would often appear somewhere with one in her mouth, and it was getting worse and worse. Oddly enough, when we were on holiday she hurt herself a couple of times and from nowhere she started wailing that she wanted her "num num", so when we got back I rather bravely got one out of the cupboard and let her have it, which she now plays with very occasionally when she's "pretending" to be a baby. (I have now punctured it so it can't be used for proper sucking however...)
Glad all is going well with the potty training. I must must must get on with it...
PS: I have heard people puncture or slightly cut up the dummy as a way of getting rid of it too, because the child doesn't have the trauma of not being "allowed" it, but can't get the comfort properly and so stops using it.
Good idea about the puncturing although I'd have to be strong and do all of them at once... Urgh I feel sad for her just at the thought <pathetic>
Funny about your night lights I thought of them the other day and thought they sounded good I must ask mucky where they were from!!
You're not pathetic, I am/was the same. It broke my heart one night when she said "but I don't want to be a big girl mummy, I want to be a baby". I know how you feel sweetheart, I thought - and I'm 42!
New beds erected. Both girls coming down with a cold. Took them up to bed early, E burst into tears and said she wanted her cot back J seems enthralled by it all, but I have a feeling it's going to be a looooooooong evening. DH is insisting we keep their cots erected for the next week or so "just in case" we need to put them back in them. I have a feeling this is not a good idea. I've left them after reading them about 40 stories, with E insisting on going to sleep on the floor and Juliet sniffling away in her bed. Fingers crossed!
Well done! Keep us posted, I'm on tenterhooks...
They came down once at about 8pm, but that was it. I don't want to get too excited though - my niece was apparently 'perfect' when they first put her into a bed, then a week later
after much crowing by my SIL suddenly realised she could get out of bed, turn the light on, and run downstairs every ten minutes for the entire evening. It took them 6 weeks, with a newborn to deal with as well, to crack it and to get her to go to sleep before 10pm. The thing that finally did it for them was dropping her daytime nap completely, which I think is what we're going to have to do, or at least make it just a catnap.
Apologies for this boring stream of consciousness sleep related chatter!
Not at all, loving it.
Will be gutted to have to drop nap though, I'll be waiting till after Xmas for this one I think.
Good luck Mucky, not been posting much, the girls are 2 in a matter of weeks and have been a nightmare for the last couple of weeks, last 2 teeth, bottom fangs coming through and they are so grumpy, not eating, always asking for "muk" - milk and refusing to nap. Neither slept today, fingers crossed that means a lie in for me but I doubt it!
Very busy with my driving lessons and trying to get this new business off the ground. Am loving working again though and having fun getting out and about. To be honest I need it with how challenging the girls are being at the moment...
& I have potty training and moving into beds to look forward to
Very impressed with the business stuff, LVB. How is it going? Is there much admin work/self-marketing involved? I have been motivated by my meeting that lovely woman on holiday who has prompted me a couple of times to send her my CV. It has taken until yesterday for me to actually sit down and look for the document on my laptop but I've now found it and think I'm actually going to tackle it.
Girls slept till 8am this morning <preens, ill-advisedly> and I could hear them whispering to each other to tip-toe into our room in the morning. We're out tonight and have a babysitter booked - hope she's alright at herding them into their beds!
Meant to say LVB I hear you on grimacing your way through a grumpy phase... tiredness is almost always the cause for us (previously teething too, although thankfully that one is behind us now). Your girls must be so tired if they're refusing to nap in the daytime.
tarti - re. dropping the lunchtime nap, I do think there are positives - I tend to feel quite "hemmed in" to either morning or afternoon activities, and often
because we're so lazy we don't manage to get mobilised in time to make it worth doing something before I know they're going to get tired/grumpy. So once we're free of that constraint I think we'll end up doing more. Although I reserve the right to come on here and moan incessantly about how I never get any bloody respite
LVB glad you're enjoying work so much. Any chance of a jewellery party at our meet up or would it not work in a hotel? Sorry it's hard work at the moment with the girls. I am in a phase at the moment where everyone I know who was pregnant at the same time as me last time is pregnant again. Which actually just makes me glad ive got it all out of the way in one fell swoop, even if the flip side is bloody hard work every step of the way with multiples...
ALL any plans for half term are you still planning a trip up north?
Well done on the beds LadyM <hopes hasn't jinxed night #2>. The boys are good in beds when we're away. Nights they generally chatter & play with their trains til they drop off. Naps are def harder cos you don't want them to faff for hours then. Lying with them definitely helped & is quite lovely in itself
on holiday. Our last night away J asked me to lie with him. Fave grandparents had just left & he was v worried I was leaving too, bless. My mum helpfully insisted it would have been better had ILs left after the boys had gone to bed. Can imagine the trauma that would cause next time . Anyway, they were fine other than `not go home, want to stay in caravan' all yesterday. I think we were all glad of our own beds though - dd was first awake at 7.45am today. Unheard of.... I'm going to have to get material sorted for their duvet covers & get them made.
Now we've postponed our building work I won't be coming up just yet Tarti. Thank god.... the thought we should be packing our house away this weekend in preparation....! Just about getting on top of the holiday washing! Anyway, we are planning on coming up for dd's bday next month but that will be a Thurs night - Mon am visit. The plan is still for me to do an extended stay when we get the building work done in Feb. That will be half term & we're going to have to stay with my parents so I could well be in need of respite !
Sounds good on the business front Lavita. I'm going to have to think about work soon . I was going to contact them after half term but might give myself another few weeks .
As usual catching up without reading very well (I either read and run, or skim and post). Kate - can't believe what you are going through, and how well you are coping.
I meant to post last week as I had an amazing 10 days away without the boys or DH to see my sister in Vermont. She is working flat out at the moment, but that just meant I had loads of time to myself, we met up for lunch then out for drinks/dinner/entertainment most evenings. Pity the sleep I caught up on was lost again on the 36 hour journey home. It shouldn't take that long - I just factored in too much time "just in case", so spent most of that time in airports. The boys were fine without me (as expected), but I had feared intense clinginess on my return and they have been fine (though Magnus slept through every night I was away, back to waking at night demanding my attention).
Interesting to hear about all the building issues, we have our flat on the market, but with the money we expect for it and the mortgage we can get based on DH's "official" wage (he's employed by our ltd company but gets other money - legitimately but not recognised by the mortgage application) I think we will be looking at a project.
I would say we are finally past afternoon naps (though Alasdair flakes out perhaps once a fortnight, more if he is under the weather) since we asked nursery to stop letting them sleep a couple of months ago. For us it does make life easier, we've had some fun days out which wouldn't have been possible if we'd been trying to fit in a sleep. And towards the end a quiet day with a nap meant bouncing off the walls till 9pm - though we've made a few errors recently with too much activity.
While we are attempting to sell the flat most of the toys are packed away - in theory in between viewings, but I have been astounded by the boys. They are mostly playing with a lace each (Tree Fu Tom belt/Snake/Hose/Ladder) and the couch (airplane/boat/rocket/launch pad). If I can restrain myself this could be a very cheap Christmas and they will still be very happy.
Wow rattling, your trip sounds amazing - the journey back less so. Did you miss the boys much? Good luck with the flat sale too - have you had much interest yet? What's the market like where you are?
Also loving the idea that we could all skip the Christmas
tat gift-giving to the kids and they might not notice. How far have you all got with ideas for Christmas presents - and... the million dollar question - are any of you buying individual presents? (Rather than the two-of-everything-in-different-colours that we seem to end up doing...) I'm sure we could save a fortune if we just manned up a bit and taught the girls to share a bit more.
I have been sick as a dog all day today, and for once it's not self-inflicted. Went round to a friend's for a delicious dinner last night, and I can't believe it was the food that has done it (DH unaffected) but I have been a complete mess today despite being the designated driver! At least it meant I got to recover without the guilt of thinking that DH was having to do everything because
yet again I'd drunk my own body weight in wine
We're now on Day 3 of beds, and so far so good - in the sense that they're going to sleep very easily. BUT this is because they're not napping in the day, which is making for very stressy afternoons where they don't quite know what they want to do. From my sick-bed this avo I could hear DH struggling to try and get J to go to sleep - at 4pm!! - because she was so beside herself with tiredness. So I'm not quite sure what we're doing because I'm not sure they can maintain no naps... I'm gently trying to encourage them to have some 'quiet time' or nap on the sofa, or even to go upstairs and lie in their big-girl beds, but of course they don't quite want it enough to do what is needed. Ah well.
LVB - I meant to ask, we're thinking of heading down to PP world this week. Did you stay over in a hotel and if so, would you recommend? I'm thinking we could do it in a day... just not sure.
Quick one - Mucky it took us an hour and 10 minutes to get there, so went there and back in a day, straight down the M3 very easy for us being SW London. It does get very busy so I would aim to be there before opening and also to go on a weekday if possible xx
Sorry ladies, haven't been on for ages!
Am trying desperately hard to catch up with everything!
Mucky Well done for taking the bed plunge, very brave It does get better, its just finding a routine that works for you all, and it might be a different routine than the one you used to use when they were in cots.
Isla's cast op went fine and she is now sporting a big bright pink tummy! She has adapted amazingly, and its been far easier than what we first thought. She tends to do things as a heavily pregnant woman would, which is quite funny - when she is picking things from the floor, she obviously has to keep her back straight and just bends at the knees!
Hope you are all doing well
We are supposed to be going on Wednesday to Clarks to just get some winter boots for the girls, so I'm spending the next 2 days making sure there aren't any really nice ones elsewhere.
Just logged onto SecretSales and there are these 'Sorel' boots, definitely not my usual style of boot but there is something about them I really like. Had a look at their online shop and they've got a whole childrens collection too. I'm not sure why, as I normally like really cute and pretty boots for the girls, but there is something about them! Have a look here - the first picture (where it says 'Kids') I looooove the purple that the girl is wearing, its gorgeous.
Let me know what you think!
Posted too soon -
I normally pick the Clarks ones which, really, are totally impractical as they aren't always waterproof - and even if they are, if I've just spend £50 odd on a pair of lovely leather boots, I don't want them ruined with the rain/snow.
So my girls end up with about 20 pairs of boots - classic Clarks ones, wellies and then I planned on getting them snow boots this year as wellies just weren't enough. I think they were only about £25 from Next (I linked them far up the thread!) but that is still £125 just for snow boots, on top of about £40/50 depending on the clarks ones, and then new wellies each if they need them.
These Sorel boots would be so practical, okay not exactly 'pretty' but would be soo warm and waterproof.
But then what if they went to a party or something? They wouldn't look great really, would they?
Ooooh I need some opinions!
Oh Kate - I feel your pain re. wanting to get all bases covered with the minimal number of pairs of boots/shoes - I spend ages deliberating about this and I only have two rather than five pairs of feet to consider! I am on a complete Ebay mission this year although wish I'd gone down that route sooner because I've already bought the girls three pairs of boots each and now think I could have saved loads of money by buying some of them second hand. I know it's not to everyone's taste but frankly when I see how immaculate some of the girls shoes are that we are now passing on, I don't have a problem with it.
So far for winter we've got a) wellies; b) snow boots; c) trainers and they're still wearing their Kickers from last year too. I do still need to get them some party shoe type things and might splash out for them and go to Papouelli before their birthday in December.
One of the first deliveries of clothes I bought for the girls just arrived - a Mini A Ture cord dress and separate trouser outfit - so that was two whole outfits for the girls for less than £15 including delivery, and they are so so nice.
I really love those Sorel boots, although I'd want to try them on first - I almost bought some Sorel Joan of Arctic ones last year but was slightly put off by many reviews which said they were VERY sturdy/solid, ie. not particularly comfortable to wear unless it really was for dire snowy weather. Those purple ones may not be like that at all however..
One quick question to you all - do any of your kids do any sort of baby ballet / dance / movement? I'm thinking of starting the girls at something soon and wondering whether I'd find a ballet class a bit too..... pink
Another quick one.
Soundslike you are doing fab Kate, you always sound so in control! I bought the girls the Clarks mini boots that I linked to previously, the don't have any other shoes that fit bar their slippers which I got from Next. Really think we need to buy some sort of Wellies/Snowboots and I also saw some very cute velvet party shoes in next too
Mucky - Try putting your postcode in this www.diddidance.com/ I might start the girls on Tuesday, they do salsa, line dancing etc for toddlers, sounds fun and not too pressured
My two have just got purple Ricosta boots (on phone so can't link) which are lined so v snuggly... They also have wellies for playing out at nursery/the beach etc and will need to get them some new cheapy trainers. We have no more weddings or super-formal events lined up for the foreseeable, so I'm going to try and manage without party shoes for the winter. I figure any winter party outfit is likely to be a warm dress with tights which would prob look ok with boots... Am I deluding myself?!
I just look back and wince really at all the money we've spent on clothes and shoes for them. Really trying to keep it to a minimum at the moment.
If they're the boots that are coming up (the Ursi ones??) they look lovely tarti. Am jealous, because they look like they do two jobs in one, which is what I've failed to do in our shoe buying this winter!
I think I'm going to cave into getting party shoes this winter because apart from anything else, their birthday is the week before Christmas, so it feels as though it would be nice for them to have a pretty pair for that period alone.
Kate I also meant to say that you were sounding very in control. How is Isla handling it all?
LVB - thanks for the diddidance link - I'd heard of them but had slipped off my radar. I bumped into someone in the playground last week who was talking about dance/drama/moving around making a lot of noise workshops on a Saturday and it got me thinking that we don't do
anything enough of that sort of thing so I might give it a go.
Girls in bed, straight down again. I can't believe I made such a mountain out of a molehill - although am very aware that it all hinges on the fact they're not getting any sleep during the day, which brings its own issues. Like non-stop war between the hours of 2-6pm
Glad you are all coping ok & things aren't as bad as you feared they might be Kate. I 'm sure challenges lie ahead as the months go by but as good a start as you could hope for I imagine.
We've still just got wellies & shoes for the boys & sticking at that. Difficult enough getting them out of the wellies, never mind adding more choice. I did get them a pair of snuggly wellie socks for our holiday tho. & then bought more midweek cos they loved them so much & wore them to death! Feel it's not so difficult with boys - I can see the feeling of needing to buy more for girls. Making do with an old pair of ds2's for dd at the moment. They're grey with a green lining so
can almost get away with it.
We don't really do that sort of class tho I have tried
and hate a few times at our Surestart. Nearly went to a trial ballet class a few weeks ago but dunno. Ds1 is a bit uncomfortable doing that sort of thing and would much rather be running around. I'm torn between sending him to get used to it & thinking that he's just like me & I'd hate someone to force me to perform.
Had the obligatory text from Mum today saying they've got the dreaded lurgy
thanks to contact with my children
& mucky - you do know it's half-term (here anyway)?? Or is PP world not really any busier then since it's mainly toddlers?
LVB Haha, I'm glad that I sound in control on here!
I have found that since DTrips are sleeping better and are at pre-school more, their behaviour has improved and because we are spending more time apart, I appreciate them more when they are home.
Same with DD2 really, now that she is at school all the time she is far better behaved when she comes home. She had an inset day the other day and just whinged all day that she was bored - reminded me why she is far better at school!
We have our proper routine in place now - once we get back from the school run I've got all their 'comfy clothes' laid out in their bedroom - they all go straight up to get changed whilst I put a DVD on. Halfway through DVD is dinner time, and by the time it has finished its time for bath and bed. DD2 and DTrips are so tired when they get home that all they want to do is sit and watch a DVD - its quite relaxing as they don't have the energy to fight even!
Can't wait to see that link of DT's boots tarti
Mucky am glad you can see where I'm coming from - don't get me wrong, I love to shoe shop for the girls, but now that DD1 and DD2 are at school 5 days a week, and DTrips at pre-school often, they aren't going to wear as many shoes.
Isla is okay with the cast, when the lovely orthopaedic nurse came to see her he said 'I hope I don't have to see you until we take this thing off!' (i.e. hoping for no problems with it) and Isla thought that he meant taking it off forever and that was it. But apart from that she is quite proud to show it off to people, I know that won't last but its good to keep her positive
Am soooo pleased to hear that DT's have gone straight to bed, that is amazing!
That's funny, it's not half term here ALL (if only).
No not the Ursi ones Mucky, although they look good, our ones are mostly patent leather but still furry lined, bit less clumpy than the Ursi ones. Can't find them anywhere online to show you a pic.
I've just scrubbed the grouting in the shower with bleach and a toothbrush. Life doesn't get much more exciting than this...
Ah, obv a bit of variation then Tarti. I went to playgroup with dd today to discover half-term activities instead . Scrubing the shower - are you having visitors over half-term or do you not have anything better to do ?
Will be putting house on market after Xmas which has made me cast a critical eye over the place... And had a child free afternoon at home thanks to the in laws so cracked on with a few superficial jobs, ignoring the big ones like painting the front door and garage door!
Wow tarti - exciting times ahead... so come on, how many hours a week are you glued to Rightmove at this point then?
Lovely Kate that Isla is being so positive about it. I love that she got to have a pink one too
Your post-school routine sounds calm and perfect. It's going to take us a while to get back into a rhythm now that they've dropped their nap and I really need to get some separation from DH while he's at home, but hopefully we'll find our feet soon. The dull weather has made it harder and I feel like we're kicking around at home too much - must get out more.
ALL - that's a good point about half-term. I tried to find out online when half-term is, but couldn't find a definitive answer and as it would appear it varies anyway. But we're all either recovering from illness or about to be ill (my turn next - having had a D&V virus yesterday, I now have my signature sore throat which precedes a cold... great) so doesn't look like we'll make it this week anyway.
Hmm several mucky, several... We've had a bit of a reality check though as to what we can afford, especially as the bank insist on including nursery costs in their affordability calculations, which in our case is around £1100 a month. Plus DH is currently on a 2yr contract which obviously is not ideal. So house hunting is not as much fun as when it was completely hypothetical!!
That's bloody annoying re. the nursery costs. They'll be going down soon anyway, won't they? Does that mean you'd be "allowed" a bigger mortgage once the girls started school?
Is there much coming on the market where you're looking? Although things move fairly quickly here, there's still little being put up for sale...
PS: we used a specialist mortgage company who deal with people on contracts (DH is a contractor) - when we were getting our mortgage
for that house we pulled out of at the last minute arggghh his contract ended one month after our mortgage application, but there were ways around it. Will PM you their details in case it's of use.
Oh mucky you absolute love, you. Have just seen your pm. Will share with DH and file that info for when we grind into gear in the new year. Thanks so much!
For now I need to make a list of little things we should do before putting this place on the market, to make it more saleable. Am not wasting money and stress on things like doing up kitchen/bathroom but few licks of paint here and there as a minimum.
Any tips from house sellers among you?!
mucky Our after-school routine is definitely working for us, I think the school-run walk helps too as its about 3 miles there so DD1 and DD2 are doing at least 6 miles a day which helps wear them out. Its quite nice just being able to cook in peace, although have found that DD2 (who is constantly starving ) is being a bit of a pain at dinnertimes. We have never ever had an issue with her - she would devour a whole plate full of absolutely anything, but now she is so tired after school she doesn't want to sit and eat a meal, but is still hungry? Basically, she just wants to pick at bits whilst watching a DVD, but that is just not happening!
I always found those first few weeks, months even, after they give up their naps a nightmare! All mine have tended to give them up gradually, otherwise I found that they would be fine the first day, a bit stroppy the next, and by the third they were evil! Even now, if DTrips are tired for some reason then they will quite often fall asleep in front of the telly or something.
Tarti Definitely no experienced house-sellers here, but will try and help
Its tricky to get that balance between a bit of quirky-ness here and there, and just a plain boring house. Maybe try and refrain from having everything re-painted magnolia, but obviously nothing too bright; I just mean some nice pastel colours - I know dulux do a lovely range. Then again, I'm sure most people would tell you to do everything magnolia, to play safe.
If you're having viewings in the winter, make sure the house is lovely and warm - if you've got a fire then definitely put it on. Alternatively, if viewings are in the summer then it looks airy and fresh to have windows and doors open.
Think about having your windows cleaned? Always looks nice when they are nice and sparkly!
Good storage systems so that you haven't got clutter anywhere, but so that it isn't all stuffed into cupboards or under beds!
If you've got fabrics that match in your bedrooms (curtains and duvet covers) make sure you've got the ones that match, if that makes sense!
Maybe get some friends and family to come round and criticise your house and ask them what they would / wouldn't like to see if they were viewing it.
Try not to have any doors closed - when they are open then the house flows better.
Make sure there are no funny smells - but don't go the other way and spray loads of dodgy room spray!
All lights on so that it looks lighter and airier!
Sorry if they are a bit crap!
DH has just bought a bit of land to build a few houses on and has said that he is happy for me to do a bit of 'interior designing' I am actually very excited!
Kate - I am in awe of the fact you walk 3 miles each way to do the school run - I am so lazy I don't think I have it in me to do that!
Really good day today - went to the Horniman museum in the morning, full of natural history exhibits... the girls loved it. Well worth a trip to those not too far away. I also just felt so much better about the fact we went out and did something first thing, so when we got back at about 3pm it felt just fine to stick Winnie the Pooh on for an hour and let them watch it. I'd been feeling guilty about them watching too much tv, but actually realise that if we're out and about doing enough "stuff", then I don't care at all if they watch it in downtime. It worked brilliantly, they were quiet and snuggling into their blankets for an hour while I had a bit of a rest, and then we nipped out again this afternoon. We even had a nutritious meal of roast salmon, sauteed potatoes, carrots and green beans. Whatever next!?
On that front, we also seem to be getting somewhere with the food issues, although we are doing the one thing I hoped I'd never do, which is to use the looming presence of pudding in order to get them to eat their main course. It never used to work when I tried it but now they're a bit older it's getting easier to dangle that particular carrot. It was a massive victory tonight in that Eve actually willingly (well, after a fashion) ate a slice of carrot. She NEVER knowingly eats vegetables, so this felt like a real breakthrough. I'm sure it helps that they had not one snack between lunch and dinner, which felt more normal because we didn't have lunch until about 1/1.30pm. When they were going down for a lunchtime nap I always felt like I wanted to squeeze lunch in earlier at about 12/12.30, so of course after they'd wake from their nap (often having had milk to go down) I would also offer them a piece of fruit
or worse on a bad day. I do wonder if most of the problem has simply been that they haven't been hungry enough.
Right, once again they're so shattered they've gone straight to sleep. Amazing. Now I need to turn my focus towards myself - feeling annoyingly fat and in a complete state of disorganisation - time to get sorted on both fronts methinks.
Btw, ALL - loved your holiday pics on FB. C looking so grown up, and the boys still so angelic There's a real family resemblance developing between C and the boys too!
Oh mucky you will laugh, I was just saying to DH about the school run and that I'm quite pleased with myself for doing 12 miles a day sometimes - he nearly burst a lung laughing... turns out its 3 miles round trip
But still, I do 6 miles a day sometimes.
DTrips still have quite small legs, so that is my excuse for keeping our buggy - there is no way they would make that trip twice a day!
So pleased to hear how good the girls have been today - sounds like a total breakthrough with E! Maybe it would be worth changing your routine so that it is more similar to todays, and see if it has any effect?
We normally tend to do the same thing really - go out all morning and have lunch out, or come home for lunch, and then a relaxed afternoon.
Definitely amazing that they have gone straight to sleep - a very productive day all round!
Lol Kate! and thanks for the tips x
Agree ALL - C such a big girl and omg the eyelashes on all three! Just gorgeous.
I still think that's bloody good going Kate but LOL at the mistake! Forget the size of the DTrips legs, it would take you FOREVER to do it on foot with 3 three year olds, can you imagine the number of stops to look at leaves, or gawk at an ant, or whatever..?
Yes, DH and I are feeling really good about today. The other thing that happened was that he had a great day of job hunting, and also feels positive. Sometimes we can't see the wood for the bloody trees, but of course the problem has been that he's under our bloody feet really so we're all treading water not knowing quite what to do with ourselves!
I thought your house-selling tips were good. I'd be wary of de-personalising it too much and would steer clear of magnolia. I think what people want to see are clearly defined spaces which work - so I'd make sure that each room looked like it was very functional for its supposed purpose. (Although OMG does anyone else have the pet hate of DETESTING it when EAs take pics of a kitchen/diner with plates, knives and forks all laid out on the table with fancy bloody napkins, especially when taken in great big close up with blurry background? Bloody ponces ) I also love to see character in people's homes, and have to admit to being completely won over when I think that the people whose house we're buying have the kind of lifestyle I aspire to. I'm a shallow old bag, I was going to say deep down but I don't think it's that deep since I'm shallow...
Have you got any plans to declutter tarti? Are you moving stuff out? I liked what rattling said about removing all toys and the boys hardly noticing
thank you, they are lovely. Recently realised dd has good lashes too. Wasn't born with them, unlike W. People have commented recently about the family resemblance becoming more obvious but I can't see it yet.
Have you seen 'secret agent' tarti? Phil bloke from location x3 helps tart up houses that aren't selling. Only seen couple of episodes & has been obv stuff really. Would like to think even I, with my slatternly ways, would think of them before selling.
Laughed at your error Kate, but yes, still impressive!
Dp is doing essential maintenance on my laptop. Should be grateful but I'm missing it!
I've seen a few of those ALL and I agree - it's all really obvious. From memory, those that were difficult to sell were for really good reasons and I have to say I'm a big believer that if you've got a good example of your type of house, in a decent area and at a good price - it will go. Houses shift around here relatively easily at the moment but then you get some people who get greedy and think they can shove the price up and it'll still go, but they're still sitting there months later.
Today there was a young couple with a baby. Every time Phil told them something needed doing the woman whined that she'd told her partner it needed doing. He, the lorry driver with long hours. She, home alone with 1 small baby. Deweeding the gravel outside the front, cleaning the kitchen, picking dog poo up in the garden.... not rocket science.
Once we get our building work done we're going to have to make a real effort to bear `saleable' in mind
in case we ever do. Not sure houses here move that fast, certainly not very local to us. Despite the prices being pretty cheap, I suppose we have high volumes of similar houses in a not very good area.
Ha - dp has just been reading aibu thread titles to me . Luckily he's managed to delete cookies to multiples (Not that he'd read that knowing I post)
No houses not flying off the shelves in our neighbourhood either ALL - it's not v desirable hence our desire to move!! Two on our road have been up for sale for a while although one is overpriced and the other a dump.
I do exactly the same mucky as in, they have impeccable taste and an enviable lifestyle = I want the house. Must bear that in mind re. ours. <pisses self laughing>
We are not too bad for clutter other than day to day stuff which can and will be shoved in the attic when the time comes to appear presentable. Need to paint front door and garage door. Colour? Black? Navy blue? Sure there have been whole threads on this...
Congrats in your successful day mucky. I would NOT cope at all with DH being at home, seriously, even the weekends are a stretch . You're doing really well.
PS thanks ALL I will get the Phil prog on series record. I love a bit of Phil actually, remember having an extremely rude dream about him when I was pregnant.
LOL. I love a bit of Phil too, although not when he's being henpecked by that ghastly Kirstie bint.
I think black's good for a front door. I hear you SO MUCH on pissing yourself laughing re. trying to create the impression of an aspirational lifestyle at home <glances around room at piles of utter shite>
If only one could rent the allusion of style and grandeur?
pillar box red us a great colour but failing that Black is a good door colour. Ours is wood amongst a sea of white uPVc.
I quite like the Phil n kirstie combo tho I can't really work K out.
Took our 3 in for nursery photos today. Glad I was there cos the photographer asked if I wanted her birthmark airbrushed away .
I think a nice navy colour would be absolutely lovely Tarti !
I have a little thing for Phil too - I think its because he's always so sweet.
ALL I can't believe the photographer asked you that! You should have made a total fuss
and asked for complimentary photos
You are fab you lot.
Can't believe that ALL how offensive and ridiculous.
Glad it wasn't just me. Tbf, he seemed a bit embarrassed to ask but said lots of people do ask for airbrushing. Poor dd, I wish it wasn't there either but it is & it's part of her for now .
Took them on the bus to town today & went to a museum / for lunch - first time with all 3 without buggy & it was lovely. We all had to prod ds2 to keep him awake on the way home, and ds1 fell off the seat when the driver braked rather harshly but they did really well!
Hi everyone, I've been following you but it's been ages since I've had a chance to get on here to post, so will not be able to catch up on everything. Lots has been happening with everyone!
Mucky I'm really pleased you had such a good holiday and from the photos it did look fab. Would definitely be interested in details for next year as I can just about envisage being brave enough to fly with them then. What a frustration about the planning permission and architect shenanigans though, you must find it hard to summon up the energy and enthusiasm to start again. Where's your thinking at just now? Did your neighbour have anything to do with it failing last time or was it all the council's objections?
Well done with braving the bed situation and it sounds
tempting fate as though it is working out for you. Are the girls getting used to dropping their naps? I so love my 2 hours off during the day that I still get, but I guess I will eventually embrace the idea of it disappearing.
The work prospects sound interesting too. Does this lady think she might be able to make an introduction for you?
Tarti my thoughts on front door colour are that personally I always like a slightly unusual choice but that may well be bad advice when trying to sell. Our front door is a dark purple colour with shiny silver door knocker, letter box etc and I think it looks good while not being run of the mill. If you have silver coloured door furniture I always rather admire the chic colours you see in some parts of London like pale greens, biscuit colours and greys. If you have brass then that works really well with glossy black, navy blue etc.
On selling tips I think Kate has covered them really well, but I would endorse the idea of making sure it looks as nice as possible from the front, ie kerb appeal. Weed the garden, sweep the path, clean the windows and front door, cut the hedge, keep bins out of the way if possible, clean the car too if you have a driveway.
ALL I also reckon you did the right thing in postponing the building work. If you feel relieved having done it, it's definitely the right thing to have done. Sorry the holiday wasn't exactly free of aggravation though and hope you got something relaxing out of it in the end. Agree that the photos of your three on FB were lovely, they are so bonny and C is looking so grown up! She's not quite one yet is she? It looked as though she is happy standing - is she far off walking?
Kate it's great to hear that Isla has taken well to the cast so far and let's hope that keeps up. The house building project sounds exciting - how many houses will it be?
LVB I have told you already but to say publicly the jewellery I got from you for my friend went down VERY well and looks fab. Everyone if you have a lady to buy for for Christmas, give LVB's stuff a look! I think my friend really enjoyed her birthday and I certainly enjoyed going over to celebrate with her - there were some very amusing costumes on show.
How's the driving going? Are you going in for your test soon?
Chesti, how is the settling in going at nursery? It is really difficult at the start because they obviously seem quite unsettled and unhappy at being handed over but if the staff are good then this will only be momentary before they forget all about it, and by my experience it won't be long before they complain about having to stay at home rather than going to nursery!
My two are going through a
slightly hurtful phase of much preferring Daddy to Mummy and though they are fine when it's just me and them, they leave me for dust when Daddy's around. I suppose I should capitalise on it and let him get on with them while I go and have a cup of tea!
We are off to the O2 tonight to see Muse (can't wait!) and have my sister's wedding tomorrow. This would be the event where she has refused to cater for my children at all and only grudgingly included them in the invitation. I am torn between wanting them to behave like monsters and make a point that way, or wanting them to be unbelievably cute and adorable. I guess it would be easier for me if it were the latter but it is tempting to load them up with sugar and let them loose
Happy Half Term everyone!
Hello Cerub !
Firstly - purple front door? Lets just say that DH and I will be having words about the colour of our front door tonight Purple and silver just sounds bloody amazing!
I think I made a hasty decision when I suggested navy Tarti - like Cerub said, I think it depends on the house and your location. There are lots of lovely pastel colours round here at the moment, especially duck egg blues, but on other houses darker 'original' colours look better. Not that that has really helped!
Cerub I totally know what you mean about DT's behaviour and the wedding. I have the same issue with my sister (who I absolutely love to bits btw) but I know that she makes comments (about DD2's behaviour and that DTrips are hyper sometimes) to other family. But it just pisses me off because we live 2 hours away, and my DD's absolutely adore my sisters DC and so when they come to stay my girls just go crazy! DTrips do go hyper because they are so happy to see their cousins, and usually end up running around the house screaming and laughing. Yes, DD2 does get a bit silly with all the excitement, but that is just her! But I would just love my sister to see my girls normally because they act totally different, but DSis seems to think they are just constantly hyperactive children. Anyway, I know exactly what you mean because in a way you want them to be totally good as gold so that you can just be smug all day and drop comments about how 'beautifully behaved' they are. OTOH it would be amusing if they were just crazy all day so that at least it gives them something to talk about!
Honestly, count your blessings for the 'Daddy' obsession - it works best at weekends where you can say 'wouldn't you rather daddy changes your nappy/puts your shoes on/puts you to bed/ feeds you dinner/ takes you to the supermarket'.
Oooh, a lot of the new builds around here have those pastel colour doors. I thought they were just primed when we first saw them . I prefer a nice strong colour though the pale green ones have grown on me. Deep purple sounds good.
Thanks for the comments Cerubina. The hol was lovely. Whatever else happens, seeing the children / grandparents enjoying each others company so much makes it all worthwhile
with the benefit of hindsight.Dd is walking. She took her first steps a few weeks ago but hasn't really progressed much from there, other than gaining confidence. She much prefers speed crawling for now unless out to impress, then puts her `look at me walking, aren't I clever' face on, and applauds herself .
Hope the wedding has been OK and your two have impressed in whichever way was your goal
As part of our
relaxing bedtime routine, dp stands the boys on his shoulders & whizzes them around / pretends to be Tigger & J has started grabbing the moon from the sky & putting it into his cot to sleep with him. Unfortunately I only discovered this after dropping Thomas Tank on Moon & breaking it . Luckily J managed to get Moon back into shape with a bit of squidging. Have learned my lesson & remembered to check where Moon is & if I've inadvertently covered its face with the blankets / about to drop an engine on it. I love our earnest discussions about an imaginary object! Strange child
ALL Until I got to the end of your post, I was wondering whether I had completely missed something, Re: the Moon!
Cerub I am desperate to hear how the wedding went and whether your DC were
crazy and ran screaming around the place like small feral animals little angels, ha ha ha! Can't wait to hear which of the behaviours you encouraged!
Lots of smileys - will blame excess consumption of wine!
Oh whilst I'm here I'll tell you all about my ridiculous story of the day!
Woke up this morning with a cricked neck so was just feeling it and trying to massage it a bit when I suddenly felt this huge rock hard lump - behind my ear, down a bit and on the hairline. Was honestly shitting myself, it was bloody huge - probably as big as my thumb and just rock hard. Am generally not bothered about stuff like this but it just really worried me. Got DH to feel it, he was rolling his eyes laughing and expecting it to be tiny, but was like 'Oh, shit, I think you need to get that checked out'..
I had a quick google (like you do) and got myself into a state after diagnosing myself with a form of neck cancer.
By this time (we had been out for the morning) GP surgery was closed and was not going to go to OOH or A&E or anything like that. Kept researching and prodding lump and in the end DH got one of his friends, who is a Dr of some kind, to come round as it was obviously bothering me so much..
So rather attractive Dr comes round and prods neck and diagnoses me with blinkin' swollen glands. Was hoping for something slightly more exciting, if I'm honest.
I am quite proud of the fact that Dr was seriously impressed at the size and hardness of the gland; in fact, he said he'd never felt one like it and was pretty surprised!
Happy weekend all.
Just a quickie, we are a very tired house today what with the clocks going back and the girls struggling to make it through the day without naps. They absolutely refuse to go up to their beds during the day - it means bedtime is still massively easier than it was PRE beds, because they are utterly shattered, but we're still sort of having to stick to the 'do something in the morning, back by 3pm, take it easy with DVD till 5pm' routine. The girls aren't good for much after 3pm... it's quite frustrating at the moment!
Cerub - how was the wedding?? Hope you took a big snack box for S + R...
Kate - ouch re. the swollen gland and sorry to hear of your panic yesterday. How is it today?
Bah to the clocks going back. I've been having another mega-Ebay day today, and am planning on listing tons of stuff tonight. Have completed the first leg of the mission - ie. bore myself rigid taking flattering photos of crumpled old clothes. Next step to list them....
We've got a physio appointment tomorrow for both girls. The HV referred us on because J has an inward-turning gait apparently, and E walks a lot on her tip toes. Neither of these things were mentioned by me, and she surmised it from our brief visit. I'm a bit sceptical but know we should go just to make sure. I'm more concerned about E's ongoing poo problem. Yes, she is still suffering from constipation. We go through periods where it gets better but then gets worse again. I have a Drs appointment on Friday and this time I'm taking no prisoners - I want to see a paediatrician and want some proper intervention.
Cerub thank you so much for your lovely comments about the jewellery, I am really enjoying it we have lovely scarves and purses too now.
My driving is going well, I've passed my theory test and have booked in my practical test for the New Year eeek
I love it when we start getting into houses, moving and decoration. Our house desperately needs a new front door and a bit of love and attention outside
and inside I love the idea of a purple front door. Has anyone seen the www.londondoorcompany.co.uk so expensive but they are gorgeous!
Cerub I really want to hear more about the wedding grin my two would be a nightmare, they are very whingy ATM, last 2 bottom fangs coming through, taking forever and they definitely prefer "Papa" Which I take full advantage of.
Kate Are you feeling better? I am always doing a bit of self diagnosis glad to hear Isla is taking it in her stride.
Mucky Well done on the ebaying, I still have so much stuff that I should list, most of it tat, but it declutters the house. What is your ebay name, are you selling any girls stuff? Hope you get to the bottom (no pun intended) of E's constipation, poor little mite
www.londondoor.co.uk/ sorry wrong link before!
Well the wedding was a real mixed bag! I don't know what I was thinking of, assuming that I could in any way decide in advance or influence whether S&R were going to be good as gold or mental... They had a couple of spells of being absolutely loopy, both wanting Daddy and if not him then wanting to play with floral displays, candles and other unsuitable stuff! It wasn't all bad but let's say there was a period of about 45 mins where I was sitting with them in a pitch black hotel room trying to get them to have a nap and being very successful.
Still, quite a few people complimented me on them, I can't think why really because my impression of them would have been that they were a nightmare!
I drank far too much during the evening and have almost never felt worse from booze than I did yesterday morning. Thank god for DH being there, because I simply couldn't look after S&R in any shape or form. My stomach more or less turned itself inside out and I couldn't do anything more than lie on the bed gibbering. Unfortunately we were in the hotel rather than at home so we had to pack up and get home, ugh! NEVER again.
Anyway, better now. Kate that must have been a scare! Is the swelling painful at all?
The purple front door seems to have gone down well! I agree LVB that company does very stylish doors, we got them round for a quote once and were so never took them up on it. But I would say our door is very similar to some of theirs .
Poor E, mucky. I keep on meaning to ask how she is but sorry to hear it's still as bad. Thank you for advising me to take action with S a while ago, as I did get him some lactulose and kept him on it until things got sorted out, and it really helped. I suppose with E being that bit older that psychology is now part of the problem and simple lactulose won't be enough, so I think you are exactly right to try and crack it. Problems like this are so easy to become chronic, and you don't want your family life to become ruled by how and when she can go to the toilet. It sounds like a trivial problem to some but I know it can be a big deal. Hope your doctor is understanding.
ALL J is too cute with his Moon. How lucky you didn't permanently break it through your carelessness!
I mean "unsuccessful", of course...
Cerub - sounds to me as though the wedding was a success! One thing I've noticed is that I am massively over-sensitised to the girls' bad behaviour. I am inwardly horrified if they ever misbehave/are difficult in a restaurant/similar, whereas to other people (mostly) a bit of "that" kind of behaviour is simply NORMAL and can be displayed by perfectly lovely children. We went to a local place the other day, run by the most lovely French woman, and she insisted on ushering us in when I'd been planning to sit their tired Ladyships outside because I just knew we'd be tantrum central. And they surpassed themselves, having MAHOOSIVE tantrums at just about every turn of events "WAAAAAAHHHHH - I want THAT cake, not THIS cake WAAAAHHHH" etc etc etc. The owner was just laughing and distracting them and it totally changed my reaction to it too - in another situation I would have been so self-conscious and would have left. But she was just saying 'pah! They're kids! It's normal!'. (I refuse to contemplate the fact that she may have been lying ) Anyway - back to you - if people told you they were lovely then believe them, I bet they were gorgeous Did you get them all dressed up?
Just back from the physio appointment, which was great. Long live the NHS, say I - amazing woman, amazing facility, no waiting time. Whenever I encounter such service I just feel so grateful. Anyway, nothing wrong with the girls as far as she can see, but it feels good to have had it checked out anyway.
Thanks for the support re. Eve's poo issues. It's going through a particularly bad patch at the moment - she goes once every 2-3 days, and from the start of the second day onwards all she talks about is wanting to go, having tummy ache, etc. When we're at home she will spend all her time just lying on the floor on her tummy, on top of her blankie, twiddling it and staring into the distance. It is horrible, it really is dominating so much of her time. The actual act itself isn't painful, but she definitely holds it in until it becomes frightening and overwhelming, so she holds it in more. So annoying. We've moved on from Lactulose to Movicol, but even that is not helping - it stops it being painful to go, but she is still holding it in. Sigh. Very pleased to hear that Seb's issue on that front has been sorted out.
Gland isn't painful at all, which is why it worried me! Hasn't started going down yet - no idea why its swollen as I'm not ill
Cerub was a bit scared at the time, now I just feel like a complete and utter wally!
Cerub Well I think wedding sounds like it went well
Mucky Agh. Don't remind me about eBay - our spare room is literally an 'ebay room'.. Everything that we don't need just gets chucked in there - I was supposed to do a car boot but never got round to it. Just need a whole day to get absolutely everything out, take pictures and stick on ebay - but then I always seem to attract annoying ebayers to my items. The ones that want you to post to taiwan, or end the bidding early because the toy you are selling is for their ill child, or buy the item and then decide they don't blinkin' want it! Maybe I should just charity shop it all.
Well, me and DH were supposed to be going out for a nice meal and cinema trip tonight for my birthday (its a big one ) but poor Isla suddenly went all shaky and was hyperventilating this afternoon and just spiked a horrendous high temp. Was getting to that horrible point where they just go all docile and floppy, and eyes start getting heavy. Have been trying desperately to keep it down all afternoon - cast is making it sooo much worse. We thought she had a sickness bug aswell, but aren't sure whether she is actually being sick from the temp. Poor thing never gets ill and is feeling very sorry for herself.
Hope you are all enjoying half term so far - what have you all got planned for Halloween?
Good it's not painful Kate & hope it stays that way, you're obv doing a grand job of fighting something off! & * Happy birthday* - significant though? I thought you hadn't long passed 30? Funny, I always assume everyone is the same age as me. Poor Isla, I hope she feels better soon & you can reschedule your celebrations.
Don't have any plans for Halloween other than sending boys to nursery in new `spooky' T-shirts. I'm not even sure they're having a party there this year?
Great news that the physio thinks both girls are fine Mucky. I hope you get the referral you want for E too - sounds like you will . I was dreading the clocks going back. Last year the boys were doing 5am wake-ups as the `norm' so the clocks going back was awful. Very respectable 6am (corrected) this weekend - thank you boys. Still not delved into ebay selling here. I have got as far as washing the seat cover for the jumperoo - some progress!
I agree that the wedding sounds
largely successful Cerubina. I hope you're feeling slightly less delicate now .
Some lovely doors there. Even red ones! Strangely, the red door a few down from us
that I've coveted has been repainted gloss black this week. No, they aren't thread-watching.... really...
It's a bloody nightmare this Ebay lark. No wonder you've been putting it off Kate. We too have "that" spare room, full to brimming with stuff I can't quite bring myself to give away on Freecycle but yet can't face packing it all up in minute parcels and trudging them all to the Post Office. Today had a classic - sold a lovely pair of Imps & Elfs jeans (designer ooh arrgh!) for bloody 99p. Underestimated the postage so ended up, after Ebay fees, making about 20p for this gorgeous pair of jeans in perfect condition - grrrrr! Have learnt my lesson actually and now not listing anything for 99p - with kids clothes am realising you just don't get enough traffic to guarantee that there'll be two people bidding each other up. So I've started all the new items at a price I wouldn't mind getting for them - much better. I'd already sorted everything out into four piles - stuff to give to mates, stuff to give away on Freecycle, stuff to Ebay, and stuff to put away until next summer because it still fits. LVB forgot to say earlier, my seller name is i_claudia - not much of interest on there as of yet, I have to say! It's all girls stuff really...
Right, must get on. Tonight's thrilling task is filling in my tax return, well overdue since I didn't think I needed to submit one
thanks for that NOT oh accountant person. HMRC are trying to get all manner of fines out of me - I have to appeal - it's very annoying.
ALL - meant to add woohoo to your boys for giving you till 6pm. It's early days for us but I have to say we seem to have slipped into the kind of routine I've been longing for for MONTHS - girls waking up at about 7 and hopping up the stairs to bed willingly at about 6.45pm, conking out immediately. I honestly cannot believe my luck at the fact they go straight down in the beds. It's not perfect as I say because afternoons are pure tiredy tantrum, but it means we're able to be up and about far earlier in the morning - I think I was actually getting depressed before - the girls wouldn't go to sleep until about 9/9.30pm, were waking up at 8-8.30 () and we just couldn't get out of the door until at least 10am most days, and more like 11.30am at the weekend.
I have completely had it with Ebay, car boot sales and NCT sales. The postage with Royal mail is so expensive that people are not willing to pay more than 99p for anything, and I've had a few complaints from chancers about poor quality clothing which left me as my stuff is decent quality! Was actually amazingly hurt. Then last week I spent ages cleaning toys and hanging clothes on hangers and attaching price labels to them all for a NCT sale and I think I sold about £30. I'm just going to haul it all off to the charity shop I think as I'm sick of the whole lot.
kate sorry to hear about your lump. J has an enlarged gland on his neck which has been there for ages. We got it checked out and fortunately it's fine, but apparently glands sometimes come up and take ages to go back down, then suddenly they will just deflate overnight. J has had his for about 4 months now.
Boys doing ok-ish at nursery. D seems to have settled well but J crys a lot. He'll get used to it though.
don't say that! I don't need further discouragement . I fear poor feedback on eBay, esp right at the beginning!
Love your approach to j's crying at nursery chest! W took a good while to settle too, but for there in the end.
Grr to Taxman. I have the better problem in that they owe me a lot of money but only sent a cheque for a bit of it. Which they put a stop on when I banked it. Really need to ring & get it sorted.
Our nursery is doing a 'no Halloween costume' day tomorrow. It's pink or superhero only. Struggling a bit on that one. Will have to see which of dd's things I can squeeze them into.
Right, boys in nursery, dd asleep in cot so off to do something vaguely useful.....
ALL Definitely hasn't been my birthday since last year!? But yes, turned 30.
Chesti That really annoys me about some eBayers - you spend ages washing (with nothing other than Non-Bio of course!) drying and ironing clothes, and then get the 'was hoping for better condition' comment! I would never sell any clothes that I wouldn't still put my DD's in, and they certainly wouldn't be in 'bad condition' clothes! Am not surprised you are sick of it all too!
Have suggested to DTrips preschool that they could do some kind of sale or clothes and toy swap. I do give any of my girls' clothes away to anyone who has the same kind of taste as me, but most people don't want 3 sets of the same skirt!
Thanks for the reassurance about the lump - am not at all worried about it now that I know its all fine.
Will catch up more later
Two birthdays - that would truely make you the Queen of mn Kate! I think I just have vague recollections of you & 30 when we were tlaking about some of us being 40+ & assumed you were already this side- sorry
I completely agree re. Ebay being a massive faff. Postage costs have gone up massively. When I'm buying on there now, I only really bother (clothes-wise) if there are several items one person is selling that I'm interested in - otherwise I don't want to pay as much again for the postage as I pay for the skirt/dress/etc. I've also noticed that a lot of people are selling complete outfits, which is more appealing. There are thousands of "bundles" of clothes which seem to sit there not being sold, I wonder whether selling individual outfits works better. As with so many other things these days, unless you give it away it seems next to impossible to get rid of it. Kate - a swap seems like a good idea...
Anyone see the thread on Multiples about splitting them up into different classes when they start school? Some interesting replies on it. It set me thinking ahead to when our lot start... who else has their DTs starting in 2014? Kate - are your DTrips starting in 2013? What are your thoughts about separating them/keeping them together?
The school system is different in Scotland. My DTs start nursery (2.5hours per day) in Aug 2013, the term after their 3rd birthday, but don't start primary school until Aug 2015. The school they are going to is a really big primary and they take up to 75 5year olds into primary 1. They split the classes into 3 x 25 and do it purely by age so I suppose they will end up in the same class. However they then shuffle the classes a bit each year from P2 onwards so if I think the boys need splitting up (or if school thinks the boys need splitting up) it can be taken on a yearly basis. Not sure what happens at nursery, there are 6 nursery classes in the school (all mixed ages 3&4) but I think I'll request them to be kept together at that age.
Interesting chesti - the split classes according to age sounds like a good idea.
Have just had a friend round who has recently sold some big items on Gumtree, and it reminded me just how much easier it is that way. I'm selling a cot on Ebay at the moment, it cost £115 new and I'm throwing in the (immaculate) mattress - will be lucky if I get £30 for it I reckon, and am having to wait 7 days for the pleasure. She advertised an £80 cot plus mattress for £50, had several enquiries within the day and it collected the following day. Maybe Gumtree is the way to go... people maybe are prepared to pay a bit more for the convenience, the locality of it, and the immediate 'see something, buy something' aspect - and you save on postage of course, and having to queue for ages in the PO.
Mucky Haven't ever really gotten into Gumtree before, maybe I should give it a go.
I have found that some things on eBay go for absolutely loads, and other really lovely things go for nothing or just don't sell.
I went through a 'ebaying stage' a few years ago remember putting Primark PJ's on there - they cost about £4/5 I think, and I sold them for £11! It was absolutely ridiculous! I know that some Boden stuff is well known for going for more than its RRP.
Just reminded me, I got the new Joules catalogue and ordered a few bits. Haven't bought many childrens clothes from them before, mostly wellies, but I have been soooo impressed with their leggings. Got the girls some cute stripey ones as they desperately need some, and they are really lovely and soft Got them some cute jumpers too and again they are such lovely quality. Am really tempted with their super furry jumper-y things, but they are quite expensive - not sure if I can justify it.
Re. schools - yep DTrips are starting 2013... they are far too little!!! I won't be separating ours and have always just seen it to be a bit cruel to separate them. I understand that it makes them 'individuals', but if they go in together then they can choose themselves whether to play together or with other friends. I might be tempted to ask the teacher to put them on different tables/groups, but would see at the time. Besides, we haven't got 3 classes and it would be seriously cruel to leave one DTrip on their own!!
Funnily enough I was looking at gumtree & freecycle for the first time in ages just the other week. Not that I've gotten round to doing anything more...
I saw the thread on spiltting / not at school. I was always quite convinced that I'd want to split them up but now the time is getting closer
guessing ours are 2014 too... really need to start thinking about it I don't feel entirely comfortable with it. I can see the pros/cons of both situations (the telling tales bit hadn't occurred to me though!). Really unsure what we'll do but I don't think I'd mind either way if the school has a policy they usually follow.
ALL I don't think the 'telling tales' thing would be an issue to be honest? I've had DTrips and DD2 at the same nursery for ages, and DD1 and DD2 used to go together and they rarely came home and told on each other. DTrips have the sun/cloud system at pre-school and even if 1 has been on cloud, they don't rush to tell me - I don't think that will change next year when they go to school.
I think for most people, whose DTwins go to pre-school, it wouldn't be an issue as I don't think they would suddenly start telling on each other the day they start school.
Our school doesn't have any preference, but I do know that they will tell parents if the DT's need moving around. I've known it go both ways - DT's separated and the school has told parents that they think they should be put back together, and also when they are together and school recommends they are split up.
Oops, serious thread killer!
Hope you all okay?
With all the seasonal adverts, my girls have been begging me to put the Christmas Tree up! Slightly premature I think?
glad it's not just me
I've been at the sudden increase in Xmas ads & stuff on tv this week! Boys are getting it this year (well, if `Father Christmas Tree' counts!) so I'm v excited! Once we have celebrated dd's bday I suspect I'll be chomping at the bit to get christmassy.
We took them to a firework display last night - it was fab! I was sure W would be terrified & cry & make it all a bit of a logistical nightmare but though they were both a bit in awe, they loved it. Had to laugh at J correcting me - described one lot of fireworks as being like stars. `No Mummy shooting stars'. That's me told then! Was asking boys this morning if they enjoyed it - J's highlight was
predictably walking under the railway bridge on the way home .
How did you get on with your Dr appt for E Mucky?
sorry I've been busy, it was the girls 2nd birthday at the weekend, which was manic to say the least. Am off to the hairdressers today
thank goodness and have a party tonight but promise to try and update properly soon
We have a home visit scheduled from the girls teacher for when they start nursery in January, is that normal?
Hello all I've also felt a bit quiet recently; not much to report really. I will say that I'm desperate for DH to get a blooming job so he's not under our feet all day. He's here, sort of thinking that he's helping and being Super Dad, but also sort of not actually helping very much at all.
Thankfully he has lots of interviews in the next couple of weeks - NO-ONE has their fingers crossed more tightly than me!
I'm in the middle of doing some Freecycling of the girls' old stuff. Feels quite good, I've made up two packages of old winter coats/boots/shoes/clothes and have people coming to collect them tomorrow. Ebaying is driving me round the bend, and I've only managed to get rid of about 12 things so far - such a pain in the arse for not much reward. Also trying out Gumtree. I'm absolutely determined to clear our storage unit and to get the house feeling a bit more decluttered by the end of the year.
My usual Friday
working from home catch up opportunity!
LVB Hope the girls' birthday went well and they are being kept happy by a new haul of presents. How's the hair do? We didn't have any home visits from the nursery. Perhaps they have identified you as a problem family. I suppose it is to talk through the curriculum and find out what the girls are like and what they are used to?
We had S&R's parents' evening at nursery last night and they got glowing reports. Last time both were described as being very unkeen on getting their hands dirty and doing messy play
obviously a bit OCD but no such concerns now and they apparently play nicely and all the rest of it. Good news.
Kate happy birthday for recently! Hope Isla is feeling much better now and you've had a chance to celebrate.
mucky any progress on E's little problem? Good luck for DH with his interviews, it's been a really long break for him so hopefully he is just as motivated as you for him to get something lined up.
Re everyone's comments on ebay, I totally agree it's a big faff and you don't always get what you'd consider a fair price for things. I've had good feedback so far as people seem happy with what I've sold, but definitely the most successful thing has been a JoJo all in one rainsuit which sold for about £20 and have been there with the 99p bids, it's very annoying. I always reckon P&P at about £3.50 for the mail bag+postage, unless it's a big item, and that seems fair.
I might try Gumtree to try and shift some other stuff. Like you all, we've got clothes and old toys coming out of our ears. I'm still a bit loath to give much away for nothing, especially a bumbo that cost us about £40 (working out at £5 per use, I'd say), but it might come to that.
So, dare I mention the 'C' word? Christmas? What thoughts have you all had on what Father Christmas might be bringing this year? As ever I'd be grateful for inspiration (they'll be 22 months then) and my thoughts at the moment are some combination of: little table and chairs for drawing/painting/playdoh etc, play kitchen, easel, mini scooters, dolly and pushchair for R... Any good ideas/things to avoid like the plague in there? I seem to recall a few of you have play kitchens and tarti really quite hating hers!
Just had a call from nursery to say S needs to come home as he's got a temperature. There's been a fair bit of that recently.
LVB I meant to say that the girls' previous nursery wanted to do a home visit, although didn't in the end because we were away on holiday and only finalised their start date just before they actually started. They also did one at the Montessori place they attended in Switzerland. I think it's just to see the children in their home environment, and get the chance to chat to you about their likes/dislikes/personalities, etc etc.
Cerub - that's great news about S&R's glowing reports! Start as they mean to carry on
We're just back from the girls' eye appointments, yet more check ups because they both have tendencies to close one eye a lot. Another excellent NHS appointment which I left feeling very thankful for. A fantastic doctor with amazing rapport with children - always makes such appointments so much easier to handle. I tend to dread appointments at the GP because very few of the doctors seem to have a clue how to get children to "perform" for them. It doesn't take much - just a squeaky toy or two...
Both girls are thick with colds, so it's not much fun at home this week. I also lost it with Eve last night and smacked her - the first time I've done that, and it left me deep in thought about what I think about smacking. I've never resorted to it yet, but didn't have a firm idea about how I felt about it one way or the other. It was quite measured, but a firm tap on the bum, and she started crying and left her room to sit at the top of the stairs (I had been trying to undress her for bed; both girls were in the room). The weird thing was that she sat there for one or two minutes while I started to read to Juliet, then came back into the room and said very clearly "Mummy I've come back in to tell you that I'm very sorry. Sorry Mummy" <at this point I'm choking back the tears> I almost wish it hadn't elicited such an instant "result", because one thing I sat discussing with DH last night was that of course it sends mixed messages if we're telling them not to hit each other, but then I do it to her when I'm cross with her. Anyone have any thoughts? Actually today I was thinking that the right thing to do would have been for me to leave the room and just abandon efforts to undress her (she was kicking and hitting me over and over again). I think that too would have had a good outcome and she would have realised that she was in the wrong.
Sigh. Bloody hard this parenting lark sometimes.
Hi Cerub !
Huge welldone to S and R on their school reports - thats brilliant
I'm just going straight to the Christmas topic because I am far too excited!! Do not avoid toy kitchens - they give my DD's hours of fun!
DD1 is 6 and still happily plays with it. Its one of those 'toys' that whenever we have friends over, it is always the first thing they play with. Mine play 'restaurants' 'ice cream parlour' 'shops' - (put toy til on work top!) and sometimes they pull it out and get the Cosy coupes out and play 'Drive thru' McDonalds' - they pretend to open and close the little windows etc.
We are finding Xmas sooo hard this year - Dtriplets got scooters for their birthday, DD1 and 2 already have scooters - DD1 could do with a bike but isn't really bothered so not too keen on that. You've reminded me about maybe dolls pushchairs for DTrips - but not sure if we really need 3 of them?! Thinking about Innotab or similar for DD1/DD2
Do you all do xmas lists? We've never ever done them in our family and don't want to start now - my own mother didn't like the thought of us just writing down everything we wanted and asking for it, and I'm not keen on the idea either. Obviously, there are always things that DD's go on and on about, but I just say 'You'll have to wait and see what you get for Xmas'. I'd rather that they were just appreciative for what they get rather than the whole 'Oh mum, this isn't the one I asked for!'
Oh mucky what happened?
After an incident with DD2 we decided that we would never smack again. I'd never smacked her before but did it once because she had wound me up over something and I was unbelievably sleep deprived (no excuse!). She wasn't phased by it at all and barely noticed, which tbh made me more angry. At the time she was obsessed with playing with teddies, and I caught her on numerous occasions 'smacking' her teddies and saying 'you make me so cross!' which made me feel terribly guilty. It was quite obvious that she had associated anger with hitting out; every time she got cross she would just hit someone as she was clearly just copying my behaviour.
Personally I would steer well clear of smacking them for smacking someone else - it is incredibly confusing. If you do, does that mean hitting someone else is right? In their eyes, if mummy can do something then it must be right.
I also think that you run the risk of having no other option - say she is hitting you and you smack her, what happens if she doesn't stop hitting you? Do you then smack her harder? What if she still doesn't stop? You've then run out of ideas and are completely mad! DYSWIM?
My J constantly refuses to get dressed, but I think she used to quite like the attention she gets with the whole 'lets make it into a fun game' crap.. which just does not work in our situation with this. The first time she refuses, I get her PJ's, take her hand and take her onto the landing and tell her that once she has got dressed then she can come back in. I go back into their room, close the door and carry on as normal. Usually within a few minutes the door slowly opens and a little forlorn face comes around!
I hope I haven't turned this into a blinkin' smacking debate - is the last thing I want to do, but this is just my opinion and totally respect any one elses.
Am so behind with all your news but must just mark my place so I can find you later when I will hopefully have a proper chance to catch up.
I had the bright idea if getting rid of their dummies tonight as they both have nasty rashes on their chins at the moment. So am now sitting at the top of the stairs listening to Maggie howl... It's like going back in time 18 months
Dunno how I feel about smacking if I'm honest. I have once done it (in absolute anger and frustration with M, not hard but they both just turned and looked at me in abject horror and then one said to me 'mummy NO HITTING' at which point I burst into hysterics). But to be honest I remember my mum smacking us on very rare occasions and I still was in no uncertain terms that me hitting other children or fighting or whatever, was wrong. I can see the apparent logic of the argument that it's confusing for them, but it wasn't my experience. It really was very rare though for us to get a smack.
Big girls' beds getting erected tomorrow. Dreading it!
Also just to add that although our toy kitchen is an eyesore, they are now at the perfect age for it and it is our most played with item (although actually the tea set gives it a run for its money). We got a bag of plastic play food from John Lewis to go with it and they love that.
Can I just clarify I meant hysterical tears, not laughter (am not a total monster)
On the toy kitchen front, can I recommend getting one that's big enough for them to both play on at the same time? Ours is a little 'cosy' and it's led to many a dispute. Also although they liked it when they got theirs (for their 2nd birthday, I think) it's really come into its own as the imaginative play takes off (which has only been in past 4-6 months) so it could be left for a later purchase...
Cerub - your other ideas sound almost exactly what we were buying last Christmas. Table and chairs = good. Ours had lots of fun with Aquadoodle and of course it's a way of letting them draw without having to worry about mess which meant that practically it got used a lot more often. We bought something like this. Also musical stuff - we bought them a little toy keyboard which still gets used a LOT now, and they are getting more and more into music. This year they are getting a Leappad 2 each from my mother, which I'm a bit annoyed about in a way - she got them without really consulting me first. They have cameras on them though and I do think the girls are going to love using them and having something like that which is 'theirs'. Other than that I'm getting them a little doctor's kit and dress up outfit, possibly a bike, more musical instrument type stuff, poss with a little microphone... um... I'm sure there'll be more but I haven't bought one present yet - better get onto it!
Kate and tarti - thanks for your thoughts re. smacking. tarti - that's very interesting that you didn't confuse it between what you thought you should do as a child and what adults did. I also was smacked very occasionally as a child and to be honest always thought I deserved it I definitely did NOT feel good about having done it though and although I am not going to say "that'll never happen again" it's also not something I'm going to employ as a policy for the future. There are always other solutions, it's just that I'm going to accept I'm not
anywhere near perfect.
We're off out today to see friends, meeting at a gastropub in Kew, so might pop into the Gardens first. We had a very drunken night out on Friday so yesterday was a total write-off - luckily both girls are getting over colds so we were all happy to have a quiet day at home.
tarti - good luck with the bed transition - have to say so far it's been a big success here but only because they're now refusing to nap in the daytime and are begging to be taken to bed at 6.45pm!
Also wanted to say we had our first trip to the local library on Thursday - what a success! Can't believe it's taken me until now to discover the delights of borrowing books for children - they can have up to 15 books EACH at any one time. We came home laden with a big pile and love the fact that in a week or two they can go and choose more - it's going to be a regular fixture, I can tell.
Sorry for quick thread high jack, but Cerub where did you get your front door from?
DP has decided he wants to order one tonight and I like to mull over decisions like this, help needed!!!!!
Late to it all but ha - we're lucky if our nursery communicate when we're there so home visits and parent evenings are a zillion miles away! Their new keyworker has asked that we let her know what we get up to of a weekend tho to help with her planning. I asked for similar ages ago so we could actually feel they were living one live rather than 2 seperate ones . Have bought them a little diary to record - might be nice to look at in years to come if nothing else.
Sorry you're giving yourself a hard time over the smacking thing Mucky. Similar to Tarti in that we were smacked but understood that it was the natural order of things and accepted it without question. Grown-ups can do things that kids can't. I don't agree now though & would like to think I won't do it. But accept the possibility that I might snap one day and will hate myself for it. I certainly feel murderous towards anyone
my mum suggesting the boys might need a smack . Well done on the library - def a firm favourite here. Even if we do often come home with the same books we've just returned because they just can't see past the tractor / Winnie Pooh etc...
I keep changing my mind about what to get for Xmas. I originally thought bikes & then decided we'd save that for their birthday since it'll be spring / better weather & get them learning tablet type thing for xmas. But now erring towards getting bikes anyway as we will use them before it gets warm & they certainly have loads of energy to run off!
I had mentioned a wendy house thing from my parents but now unsure if I want another big thing hanging around. Kitchen would be good alternative though
and would be entertaining to see reactions from GPs who only like reinforcing gender stereotypes. Dd was 1 yesterday and we bought Happyland which has gone down well all round. We missed that with the boys so we'll prob ask others to get some more of that. They are really just getting into imaginative play now so anything like that that isn't just another car or train would be good. & crafty stuff. & expand our DVD repertoire. Hopefully that will be it but I can see MIL embarking on a sea of pinkness for dd. I hope think my reaction to the first pink handbag suggestion was suitably negative to dissuade her from that..
Sounds silly but I'm really glad I've had a good old think about the smacking issue - as I say I'd not ever really thought about it before, but do now feel as though I've got a vague "approach".
Good to talk about the presents thing too. ALL will you be getting any individual presents for the boys? I think this year I might venture into getting them a few different things eg. am going to get Juliet a pair of binoculars (kiddy ones!) because she loves a throwaway pair we got in a magazine one time, but won't be getting one for Eve. Am quite nervous about it but also feeling good about 'validating' their individual personalities, if that makes sense. I MUST start doing some shopping, I keep having ideas for little gifts for them but not acting on it. Also think I'm going to get them a few more bits for the kitchen - eg. their own oven gloves (they love playing with mine) and aprons with their names embroidered on, etc etc.
Happy Birthday to C btw! I hear you re. the pink handbag situation - my mother has brought the girls princess dress up outfits and Minnie Mouse handbags for Christmas - I'm feeling a bit more relaxed about such things now but it must be 'interesting' for you having seen how pronounced the gender stereotyping is comparing your boys to what they want to buy for C.
Loving all the present chat. I'm not getting them much as feel I am drowning in toys already and with wanting to move in the new year I'm trying to minimise clutter <Scrooge> but they will be well catered for by gps - my mum is getting them a lovely JL doll's house (actually I will have to furnish that...) and dh's parents, well god knows, but no doubt it will be plentiful and I will not be given right of veto
I've got them each a magnetic dress up doll which I bought in France in the summer, a book each and a DVD to share. Will do stockings with small tat in. I like your idea of different presents mucky, will ponder that one.
I don't think it's silly at all Mucky. & much better than using it as the discipline method because the thought of other strategies isn't considered. Another example of me being the odd bod in our family .
Yes, I'm definitely planning to get the boys their own things this year. Saying that, if we do go for bikes then they will probably be more `same' then ever before. We've always just bought 1 of things & made them share. But even if they are the same / similar they will each have ownership of a particular bike and that is new for us. I thought about getting one bike and a scooter or something but we decided 2 the same would be better. I'm doing seperate lists for each for the family. They do have different interests and really undestand ownership / taking turns & sharing so I think it's time!
Did you see the xmas pressie thread (chat??) a few weeks ago? Someone mentioned `something to eat, wear, read, play'. We decided that was a good way to go. We don't want to buy lots of stuff either
am determined they will be `got a sack of ash & was grateful' brigade & I think that gives a good `structure' to buying. I am doing stockings too though & have bought choc money, Ice Age mug and a friendship bracelet thing each so far.
Funny about the right of veto Tarti. That was what MIL was seeking over the handbag thing. Was funny how she started so enthusiastic but by the time she'd finished telling me aaaaalllllllll about it, it was more of `who would buy such tat' . Then she said she'd just give us money & we could buy. Felt a bit bad at that point. Thing is, the children do love the
tat pressies she buys them but I do wish she wasn't so fixed in her gender stereotypes. & though she clearly adores the boys, she is v v v excited at being able to buy for a girl.
I'm going to have to swot up on Hello Kitty & try to overcome my hatred of it. C got a couple of things with it on for her bday - including the
emergency bday cake dp bought .
Did you eventually get the all clear after your pneumonia Tarti? Keep meaning to ask...
Aw thanks ALL yes finally, after 5 months, had last ray two weeks ago which was all clear thank god.
Am with you on the gender stereotyping hatred, although my two increasingly do gravitate more towards dolls, babies, kitchen, dressing up etc rather than the trains, cars type stuff which we have also always had for them. Not that they don't enjoy playing cars etc but slightly more so the girly stuff as time goes by. And as I was doing Rose's hair the other day and was trying to steer her towards turquoise hair bobbles to match her top she said 'no, my having pink cos my a GIRL' with a daft grin which suggested she was parroting something she had heard
at nursery somewhere
Tried a new soft play place today with some friends. I like to mix it up y'know - crazy, me
Wow, that is good news then tarti.
I get a bit stuck on softplay when we find a good one but tried a new one last week too. Was really fab, not least cos I was allowed on too. Unfortunate a fair distance away but we're going to go again & make a day of it.
Dec train preference here & without prompting from us. C is already a pro at scooting along pushing cars & trains too - far earlier than the boys. We have teasets & shopping stuff they like but nothing really overtly pink and girly. Do both like the pink beakers & bowls we have. MIL doing a good.job of.teaching them. Nail varnish /,pink / dolls are for girls. Aargh. I sometimes object but never going to change her mind...
Poorly ds2 in with us:-( All been loaded with cold again but he woke earlier wailing & his neck / ear seemed.sore.to tje touch. He's had max meds so hope he's asleep for a while yet. Just waiting for C to wake - cosy night ahead
Great news tarti. Am also loving the present talk. I must must must get on with it, great little ideas for stocking fillers ALL. I also don't want to get them much (and if possible want to sneak out some of their old toys while they're asleep). My Ebay mission continues unabated - currently selling a big old sofa which we have in storage at the moment and I am GLUED - 45 watchers after just one day and already 9 bids. It's an old Heals sofa (which I actually bought 2nd hand on Ebay to take to Switzerland) so it was worth quite a lot new
not that I'd ever pay it and I'm actually nervous it's going to go for too much money because it's a bit tatty and I live in eternal fear of someone having a go at me for misrepresenting the condition of the item. Phew, me nervous much?
tarti - how did Operation Big Beds go?
I'm in the throes of planning a party for the girls birthday. I've bought them party dresses, very excitingly for them, and I'm just hoping a few people will be kicking around as it's the weekend before Christmas and full-on party season (for those who have an actual social life). So far a lot of people can't make it.... hopefully as long as there are a few people here and we have balloons and cake, the girls will think it's the best thing in the world EVAH. They are already telling everyone they're going to have 'the biggest party in the WHOLE WORLD' and inviting all and sundry at nursery.
ALL - what was the thing on the chat thread about something to eat/wear/play (re. Christmas pressies)? I did look occasionally on that thread but it was all a bit fast-moving and overwhelming for a Chrimbo-phobe like myself.
Anyone into interiors, I'm thinking of asking for this Abigail Ahern interiors 1 day course as my Christmas present from DH... just thought I'd mention it in case anyone else would be interested... am desperately trying to up my game and bring our house into the vague realms of Grown-up-ness.
I think it's
Something they want
Something they need
Something to wear (or might be eat?!)
Something to read
Hope ds2 ok ALL?
That Abigail Ahern day looks fantastic mucky. I would be very tempted although should really wait until we've saved up to buy an actual half decent
fucking house before indulging...
How's the house hunt going?? Are you decided on the area, have you been scouring those Ofsted reports yet? God it made my head explode when I was trying to think about schools + possibly thinking ahead to big schools + being near a station or on a good commuting line and did the station have a car park if it was too far to walk and could you park your car and get a seat on the train + houses being good value when we were looking in Kent that time... getting palpitations just remembering back...
And what about the beds tarti - come on!! I've just been upstairs to retrieve Eve who has fallen out of her bed twice in one evening (first time she's ever done that). Methinks illness approacheth...
Hmm it certainly makes bedtime a little more interesting doesn't it! The first couple of nights they were ok but yesterday and today they had had lunchtime naps and it was impossible to get them to stay in their beds - 9pm I think it was before they finally fell asleep.
To be honest I'm so busy at work I've not been focusing on any of it too much, we've got a mini ofsted inspection tomorrow and Friday, after which I will calm down and focus on being a mother again!
Hmm ofsted reports - I haven't looked in as much detail as I would like but the four or five possible ones in the area we like are all fine and have what I would rather shamefacedly call a 'nice' intake - I don't give much credence to ofsted ratings ( good/outstanding etc) but the small print can be very revealing so I must have a more detailed look. House hunt is on pause really until after Christmas. Am being good with money until then. To quote J & E, it's BOOOOOOORIN!!
Forgot - also bought a (toy) Henry Hoover a couple of weeks ago too. Maybe our real vacuum cleaner will be given a break... Sure the boys would love an iron too. We do v little ironing here but, from the little J has seen, he's determined there must be wheels on the bottom of the iron and won't be convinced otherwise . Then again, a wheel-less toy iron will, no doubt, be `broken'.
Yes - that could be it Tarti. I thought it was supposed to be some Victorian tradition but, after a quick google, maybe not. Vaguely French perhaps? I know at the time my head read it as: PJs, book, chocolate, toy = sorted.
& yes - BEDS??! We were going to do it weekend before last but didn't get round to it. Should be this weekend providing dp gets the wardrobes fixed to the walls & I get the second duvet cover finished. I was told recently that the cotbed will hold my weight OK for sitting reading / lying if nec so that is a big positive for me. Then if we have a night like last night I can just lie with ds.
Good luck with Ofsted. So much stress for such a pile of poo..... Think we're safe for a little while longer unless I've missed something in my absence. I'm going in next week to get info so I can start planning for my return. I feel unclean already....
Ds2 seems OK today
if we ignore the ever-present cold / cough. He slept in with us last night (that'll be me, dd and ds2 alonf top of bed and dp along the bottom of bed ). He woke a couple of times through the night and was really quiet / tearful this morning. I really did not expect him to be at nursery today but he perked up after calpol first thing and was fine thereafter - phew! Touching his ear / neck area caused him to wail so I was expecting a full-on ear infection thing <shrugs>
Ha, it is boring. I am having to be good with money too <miserable face>
The more I ask and read around, the more I realise that Ofsteds are to be taken with a pinch of salt. The school nearby which only has a 'satisfactory' stamp on it is the one all the parents rave about, whereas the one at the bottom of the road is marked as outstanding and yet people would rather eat their own heads than send their kids there.
That sounds good re. the beds. Unlike me, you didn't turn it into a massive mountain of a problem before you even started.
Speaking of those kinds of issues, we are still nowhere near achieving potty training. I have developed a phobia of it, and we are further away from success now than we were 6 months ago. Neither girl will go on the toilet, Juliet who used to delight in showing us her skills in that department, refuses to even go on the potty. I appear to have missed the window. If I didn't have to be careful with money I'd be tempted to hire a nanny for a week and go on a yoga retreat while she tackles the problem on my behalf. I'm such a twit.
Mwahahahah - tis the thread killer here! <hands mantle to unsuspecting thread colleague>
Eek. I have just listed our sofa to sell on Ebay. I am addicted. Soon we will have no furniture and will be sitting on boxes of an evening...
Went on the London cable cars today. Have to say the girls continue to drive me utterly potty at the moment - they are ill, not eating, and are the grumpiest children known to man.
Have also had
half a bottle of wine a chat with my SIL about Christmas, which is bringing me out in hives already. She is OBSESSED with it, and delighted in telling me that my DN has "written a letter to Father Christmas" (she is 2 weeks younger than the girls, why oh why does she need to show off - and it is showing off because she spends every waking moment hothousing her child) asking for X,Y, and Z. I am already dreading getting the card from them which has perfectly looping child's writing signing off DN's name. Grrr...
ALL - I now want to know exactly what you wrote about Ofsted in your lost post...
Lol at your sil mucky
I am sooooo tired. Endless day today with not even the reprieve of a nap time (doesn't seem to work now they're in beds) )
I hear you re the lack of naps tarti. They REFUSE to nap now they're in beds and our life post 3pm is frankly SHITE because of it. Girls so ill and grumpy we put them down at 5pm tonight - please god let them not wake up at 5am!
I am so tired too. And now almost a bottle of wine down. Oh help me god....
Haha, it really was a rant probably best left in my head mucky
otherwise my return could be cut short before I get there. Can you tell I'm starting to think too much about going back?
Ds2 had a sicky night last night. Surprise, we'd been to soft play on Friday. Friend's dd was sick yesterday so he could have picked something up from her. Or could just be his insane need to lick everything. Strange child. He's been fine today though.
We're in big boy beds tonight! I thought they'd be ok because they've had quite a few weekends in beds recently but their very own bed in their own room... well, I thought we were going to have spontaneous combustion . They were so excited & ran round like loons. We sat in to calm them down & all 3 were asleep by 8pm. Result! Boys ok but dd woke up & has been v unsettled unless attached to me. So success of sorts. Morning will be the most interesting. We've recently been sleeping til 7am so hoping we don't go backwards on that. We've pretty much dropped naps too lately so..... fingers crossed!
ugh, I had a minor version of that discussion the other day Mucky. People keep asking the boys what they want Fr Xmas to bring for them but they have no idea of that concept yet. They can name Father Christmas & are aware of the increased xmas tat etc but that's about it. & nothing wrong with that imo. We have years of fending off `i want' / expense to look forward too - keep it simple while we can imo
Glad big boys' beds have kicked off so well ALL - long may it continue. I wish I'd waited until the girls were naturally dropping the lunchtime nap
When people ask me what they want for Christmas my stock response is stickers - small, can be used for distraction in cafes, enjoyed rapturously while used then shortly thereafter thrown away: my favourite kind of toy
Have caught up with the thread again. You all sound like you are forging ahead with everything ( potty training, beds, dummy removal) I`m very impressed and slightly jealous. We seem to be stuck in a rut here. Miles away from potties, beds and in J's case talking. D is doing really well and you can hold mini conversations with him. J however still only has a few words, and those words are very mumbly. It's difficult to not compare . It's also tricky as D is more physically developed than J ( or maybe just more physical) so D & H play a huge amount together and J is always left out. He doesn't seem to mind at the moment, but not sure how to deal with it if he does continue to be left out.
Anyway, enough worrying. Things in general are fine. The boys seem to be settling at nursery OK, though there is still tears and cries of Yuk Nursery when we take them.
Will try and keep up with the thread more! Hope everyone is doing ok
We're just getting into stickers, but `yes`! Just a few weeks ago I thought it'd be a good idea to get them out while I was busy but there was so much `mummy help me' that it didn't really help. Now my problem is to let go & not be precious about
my favourite for them to destroy chucking them out. I made biscuits today & can't believe how much more helpful they were than previous. Normally more hindrance than help but today they really `got' flattening the dough & using the cookie cutters quickly and efficiently.
Beds are going well
so far. Though dp went in to J wailing the first night and had to drag him out from under his bed by the ankles after he got stuck. Apparently he was looking for his cup. Dp said it was a good job J was crying cos he'd have had no idea where he was. & W threw up all over his new, hand-crafted duvet cover last night.
Ooh Chesti - missed you in the x-post! You weren't there when I checked! I guess being left out comes with the territory of having 2+. Dd & W are going to be good friends I reckon cos they are v similar in `nutter' stakes & roll around / giggle together well now. J is far more considered in his approach to life & is happy playing on his own much of the time & def isn't too fussed about playing with C so it works OK at the mo. We recently swapped the table positions so J is nearer to C to encourage them to interact more at mealtimes.
It is so hard not to compare, though I think our 2 sound more similar in developmental milestones than it sounds your boys are. Still v different in other ways though. & both are not comparing favourably to dd in terms of milestones. She is going to be trouble .
We very nearly braved nursery in big boy pants today after a v successful morning
of traipsing upstairs to empty the potty. Then W had a poo disaster just before we left for nursery. Put paid to those thoughts......
Lovely to hear from you chesti. Please don't be disheartened by the apparent progress. I feel plagued with despondency re. potty training. Some of you may have seen my FB and know that we've spent most of today in A&E with Juliet. All hopefully okay now she's dosed up with Anti-Bs and a Ventolin inhaler thingie but... what a day. Ambulance n' all...
Prior to that I was capitalising on our being housebound by trying Eve in pants. It's just such a bloody non-starter. Three days in and she still hadn't managed ONE wee on the potty. Wees everywhere but. Sitting on the potty for an hour, then standing up and peeing all over the floor five minutes later. J too ill to try right now but it's getting too close to their birthday and Christmas for me to be bothered this side of 2012. I really didn't think they'd be hitting their 3rd birthday still in nappies - really feel like we've missed the moment or something. They both scream every time we want to change their nappies, but scream if you want to try them in pants, and are utterly reluctant to try the potty or toilet. I've tried rewards, 'ooh look big girl pants!' conversations, books about Princess Polly's potty and suchlike.
I hear you re. concerns about their differences, although I've found talking on here about it very therapeutic. In our case differences which were more pronounced a few months ago (J had much more advanced speech for example) have melded away a bit now they're both talking quite well. BUT Eve remains much more sociable, much less 'needy' of Juliet than Juliet is of her. Juliet staunchly claims Eve as her best friend always, yet Eve will prance off with any interesting new person who comes her way with J often left behind to play on her own ( - I'm such a wuss) Whenever I've discussed it on here I've come away feeling like I need to stop putting my interpretation onto what's going on, because frankly Juliet never seems particularly bothered. It would be worse if she was, and I guess I'm anticipating that on her behalf. Sorry to have to ask but how old are your boys now? I took the girls to a speech therapist recently and was given some info which put my mind at rest - it said that between age 2 and 3 it's only 'expected' for close family to be able to necessarily understand what the child is saying. E has always been very mumbly and a bit behind on the speech but suddenly from nowhere she seems to have quite a decent vocabulary and people are even starting to be able to vaguely comprehend what she is trying to say
Now then, I must get to bed. BUT. Anyone fancy coming and potty training my girls while I sit in a darkened room listening to whale music for a week?
Sorry I am keeping up but am being v rubbish at posting but just wanted to quickly say hello to everyone and give Mucky a big <<<hug>>> & one of these
I am not partaking in the as since I did a week bootcamp diet and lost 7lb I've put on 11lb since need to sort it out before CHristmas
then start again
Well I've been so successful potty training my pair of reprobates that I wandered in after what I laughingly call 'nap time' today to find M had smeared copious quantities of shit all over her sheets, duvet cover and pillowcase with her bare hands
Oh LadyM Hope J had a good night and that she is feeling a bit better this morning. We are also the house of colds (consequence of starting nursery) but nothing on that scale. Hope E is doing fine and doesn't catch it too.
Oh Tarti that indeed sounds totally disgusting
Yes tarti, you LUCKY girl having to clear up such artistry...
J not much better today - hurry up antibiotics, do your stuff!
Kate - hope all's okay with you, haven't heard from you for a while.
Tarti, that is beyond grim! Something I dreaded in their nappy-removal days but luckily our boys both seem to have a deep dislike of anything `messy' and so flip at the merest hint of poo not being contained. Not a bad thing....
I braved sending boys to nursery today in big boy pants. J was fine (he was initially the disinterested one like your E Mucky) though filled the potty once he got home. W had 2 accidents and came home in a nappy. Thing is though, the potty isn't readily available for them like it is at home. They have to ask for it or
agree to be disturbed from their more interesting activities go when staff ask if they need it. That might take some getting used to. I'll see what progress we have by Monday.
I hope you see the anti-b's magic soon Mucky & J feels better soon. They should be starting to do their stuff now.
Well done ALL, that sounds like good progress. <apoplectic with jealousy> - I'd be happy with that outcome!!
Just watching the Savile Exposure programme... what a vile man. Must go to bed though, am shattered. Hope all are well..x
Yey, I definitely think it's some progress. They've both been great at wee and J is getting there with poo, but yet to master getting distracted / it in the potty & not next to it / not standing up to have a peek midway. W has done poo x3 in his highchair but says `yes' enthusiastically when we explain he needs to tell us before it happens
clueless. We're yet to brave going out & about without nappies though. I think I'll keep that to nursery & back for now.
We went to the dentist for the first time today & the boys got a pile of stickers for being so good. Apparently they've never seen anything like it & usually have a child with mouth clamped shut on a good day, and kicking / screaming on a normal day .
How's J doing now Mucky?
Well done those boys, on both counts ALL!
J has turned a corner, but it's been a horrible week for her. She's barely been out of her bed all week, other than to be carried downstairs for an hour occasionally, to watch TV. She hasn't had a proper meal since Saturday - today she's had some milk and a couple of mouthfuls of mango, plus some Special Get Well Cake, and that's the most she's had all week. I am hoping that it's just the antibiotics which have wiped her out, because we really were getting a bit worried - although her chest had improved, she has just been so weak.
Forgot to mention that I've booked the girls in to go on a Shetland Pony on Sunday - hope she's better for it. Am fully prepared for the Surrey Shetland Pony Club to be full of shockingly irritating people but I took the girls to a city farm last week and they were utterly transfixed by the horses in the stables there, so I thought I'd give them a pre-birthday treat.
Am still massively Ebaying and really getting into the swing of decluttering. Listing things on Freecycle too, and emptying our storage unit - finally - of all the excess furniture we ended up having to buy in Switzerland. It feels good to be doing it, having procrastinated about it endlessly for months. Next stop - my CV! <hell freezes over>
Glad J is beginning to turn the corner and feel a bit better. Fingers crossed she is well enough to go to see the ponies tomorrow.
I've had the day from hell, work is a nightmare, J the up at tots, and thena gain later all over the carpet, and tesco website is driving me insane. Sitting drinking wine watching rubbish old no1s on bbc3
Good to see J feeling a bit better Mucky - hope you get to the ponies tomorrow. Initially read that you were looking forward to becoming part of the `Surrey Set' (guessing there's a `Cheshire set' equivalent anyway).
Isn't that the annoying thing with procrastination - actually doing isn't as bad as you dread & often makes you feels so much better & wish you'd done it sooner. Must remind myself of that <settles into procratinator's corner>
Hope you've had a better day Chesti! We've had a weird sicky bug here. W threw up twice this week but was otherwise fine, then I did the other night too, felt a bit off but ok. & dp has been up & down all week. But none of it nasty, just there hanging around.
Today I realised I've lost the ring dp bought me after the boys were born - gutted! Annoying that I wore a cheap dress ring on that finger for 17yrs without issue but only had this lovely one for 2yrs. I'm hoping it came off when putting a load of washing in the machine today but I can't bring myself to finish unloading it in case it's not there . Also just got notice that the allotment committee aren't happy with my plot. & there was me thinking I was doing ok having half of it cultivated this year & thought they'd cut me a little slack. Probably will be ok when i put my pleading letter in but I feel like a naughty schoolgirl and am Very Disappointed with Myself today!
Boys have a bit of a fixation about C having Mummy milk but we all drink milk from cow boobies at the moment. We did safari park again today & they were having a great time cow-booby-spotting. Then tonight they were pretending to milk one another's willies in the bath.... oh dear.....
ALL re. cow boobies. I have shown the girls lots of clips of cows being milked on Youtube; they are fixated with it, and with the fact that when they were babies they had milk from Mummy's boobies.
Hope all the sickliness ends soon, although of course as we're at the beginning of that season I doubt it'll be the last. I can't believe we've had a girl here who has been in bed all day, every day, for the whole week. Do any of you have anything similar in that J is very stoic when ill, E is the complete opposite? On holiday one day Eve fell over and grazed her knee ever so ever so slightly - she must have mentioned it 20 times a day for the following week, about her knee, and how was it, and DID EVERYONE KNOW I FELL OVER LAST WEEK? J on the other hand is practically comatose before she'll mention that anything's amiss, and we'll go into her room hearing her coughing loads but not crying to see that she's been sat up in bed alone dealing with it for ages. Eve cries at the first hint of a cough/cold and has been known to have a total meltdown just because "I done a bogey"
chesti "Sitting drinking wine watching rubbish old no1s on bbc3" ... Ohh how I know that state of mind... sorry to hear you had a rubbish day. We've had a day of getting jobs done, went to our storage facility and sat the girls down with a bag of crisps watching Charlie and Lola while we dug through everything. Not quite the parenting of my ideals...
I've bought a few pressies for the girls now - birthdays and Christmas approaching. Bought a doctor's bag (they are Doc McStuffins fans) with kit inside (£8.50 - bargain), and a Melissa and Doug pair of binoculars. Also about to press the big red button to get them an easel and paints/etc, magnetic letters/numbers, plus maybe some sort of play/make believey type of thing like a garage or pirate ship or castle. Am rearranging our reception rooms at the moment and trying to get something of a proper play area set up with loads of storage and maybe a play table. I really want to get rid of loads of their crap soon and get things more organised. Ahh, a girl can but dream...
ALL we had similar letter two months ago from our allotment committee. DH was gutted, I was consumed with shame that people would have been tutting at our plot (ashamed to say I don't even know how bad it is/was as I have hardly been down there this year - it's become very much DH's territory. Anyway just to say I know exactly how you feel, not a nice feeling at all. We seriously debated letting it go, but DH is determined to keep it on and make a good go of it next year. If the weather is less awful we might have more of a chance as the girls will be a better age to get more involved (possibly).
Like the sounds of your Christmas purchases muck. I too am desperate to bin all of their existing toys to make way for new stuff which will be coming their way. It's all the irritating little bits and bobs I hate. Purses, plastic necklaces etc - no play value at all really, it all just gets pulled out and strewn all over the floor.
I am trying to make myself deal with their dolls' hair - it has gone like wire wool and badly needs coiffing (oh the problems we have )
Sorry for being incommunicado. We are the house of illness again. Have been beseiged by colds since the boys started nursery, but this last week has had all of us struck down by a vomiting&diarrhea bug. Not great. 1st J, then me and D, then DH, now MIL. Only H has survived so far. She has an ear infection instead, have a drs appt tomorrow and will have to push for further investigation, this is her 7th ear infection this year, and her eardrum has burst each time. Work still hellish too. Boss is signed off with stress now which unfortunately just passes all her work/stress onto me! Was supposed to be having friends round tomorrow for catch up but had to cancel as the house stinks of sick and I have to suddenly go to Edinburgh with work (after dr appt) and won't be back til late. Feeling a bit frazzled at the moment
Sorry for being rubbish, I read but but don't post
I am manically busy with driving lessons doing my Stella & Dot which I'm loving and trying to entertain 2 crazy toddlers!
We've had a bit of random morning vomiting lately, not nice at all plus lots of tantrums and death stares, they are hard work! it really feels like it is getting harder! they are SO unreasonable, and DP is a total pushover and completely spoils them roll on January and 2 mornings a week of nursery!
I have put on over half a stone so my new plan is to get DP to drop me and the girls at nursery and I will run the mile home each morning! (let's see how long that lasts!) I really want to encorporate exercise back into my life as I'm starting to see the middleaged spread and I don't like it!
Lots of love and festive wishes to all
Buddha has boobies too Mucky. & there were a lot for sale in the shop we were in yesterday. & boys pointed them out
loudly on every one of them
We got the boys' balance bikes last week & are getting C one of those Smart trike things once I've re-researched them as I know some get poor reviews. We're still thinking about a kitchen too but we might leave that for their birthday. MIL has decided she wants to get
yet more stuff but doesn't know what. Strangely she rejected our suggestion of the kitchen . I suggested my Mum get a Wendy house between them all, thinking it would be easy. But she couldn't choose one. So I sent some links that were rejected. Peppa Pig is too girly for the boys, even though they have bought DVD and books previously. & 'Mike / Knight' castle one wouldn't be suitable for C. Shouldn't be difficult, surely?!
Doesn't the letter thing just make you feel pants Tarti! I can't decide what to do. I don't want to lose it but neither do I want to go & do lots of stuff if they're just going to evict / not accept my membership in Jan. I suspect there could be politics at play. Or maybe I'm just paranoid. I put my begging explanation letter reply in the other day but haven't heard anything yet. Might wander down tomorrow to see if anyone is around.
Boys are doing really well at wee / potty while at home - no accidents. J is doing ok out & about too, but poor W is having a bit of a mare. He's going through all the spare clothes I'm sending to nursery & coming home in nappy. Apparently he did a wee on toilet there yesterday though, and again today when out with me, so hopefully has got some confidence from that. Poo.... well, that's a whole different ballgame
Can't believe these letters from allotment associations! I would hazard a guess that the complainers might be er... from the more elderly member of the community, perhaps those who DON'T have several youngsters at home to contend with on a daily basis?! I mean, priorities priorities - it's a disused piece of land on which to grow vegetables... it's hardly the Chelsea Flower Show! Grr, think it's best I don't entertain the notion of getting involved in such ventures myself, could end badly....
Busy busy here too. I have stupidly embarked on an expensive project to transform our living space into something which looks vaguely grown up. To part pay for it I am selling all but my grandmother on Ebay, since money is short here at the moment. But I am determined that when we have our party for the girls' birthday (our first one since moving back to the UK) I want to feel proud to welcome people indoors, not rapidly shuffle them downstairs before they can see the lack of homeliness. Today we had the first bit of "work" done - moving a radiator. Whoop de doo.. This is to clear the way in one of the alcoves for some built-in cabinets and shelving, which happens next week. After that the room is painted, and we're putting up a chandelier (hopefully), getting cushions, nick nacks, rugs, mirror above fireplace, paintings - standard stuff most people have
except us I CANNOT WAIT EVEN IF IT BANKRUPTS US!
Loving all the Christmas present talk. I've bought a few more bits - got this if anyone's interested in a board game - Tummy Ache - apparently it's "hilarious" and it does look suitable for around age 3, unlike most things I see of that type. We've bought a few bits of Mike the Knight stuff ALL - the castle, jigsaw, plus helmet and sword. I tried the girls on Disney's "Fairies" DVD yesterday, and despite being a U (on the back it says "contains scenes of very light peril") they were absolutely PETRIFIED and demanded it be switched off. Oh do come on girls, Mummy wants an hour to herself
on Mumsnet in the kitchen! Other than that I also caved and bought this which I thought would amuse us no end - JL Mini Piano thingie I'm not going to get much more stuff, think I'm going to get some personalised aprons on GLTC and a couple of other bits and hopefully stop there. It doesn't really seem like much when I write it down but I'm worried I'm going to start getting them stuff for the sake of it
chesti - sorry to hear you've all been so ill. Especially sorry to hear about H's ongoing ear troubles, poor thing. Did you get an appointment at the docs?
tarti THIS THREAD WILL NEVER DIE! <threatens weakly>
Oops linkie fail piano thingie
Oh bloody hell John Lewis Partnership I give up.
Hi everyone, I'm LONG overdue for a contribution to the thread, sorry about that. Like LVB am reading but not posting, which perhaps isn't very useful!
Poor Chesti, you sound like you have a very large helping of illness in your house and I hope it is coming to an end. The ear infections sound very distressing, poor old H! Did the doctor have anything useful to say?
Is it this mucky? Looks fab! We have a small chunky keyboard from ELC that the twins love, so I can see us graduating to something like this in due course. I have a sad, misty-eyed fantasy of them being really musical and would love to have at least one little piano-playing prodigy, being hopeless myself.
Poor J with her pneumonia, no wonder she needed all that rest. And good work on the ebaying, your living room sounds as though it will be rather like ours when you've finished so evidently we both have good taste . How's DH's job hunting going, or shouldn't I ask? Has he had the interviews that were coming up yet?
Well done to the boys on their potty training ALL and snigger at the boobies thing. I bet you were a nice shade of pink when you left the shop after all boobies had been identified. Have they started pointing them out on other people yet?!
My two are going through a lovely phase at the moment
won't last long so for once I have no grumbles at all. That's really not like me, surely I can think of something?
Christmas presents decided upon/bought here include: wall stickers-come-height chart like this one, possibly an ikea play kitchen, bath towels (they are still using those handkerchief-sized baby ones and it's getting a tad ridiculous now), woolly hats, a baby pushchair, playdoh, Duplo, books and bookends. We got given a little table and chairs by friends for nowt and they love it - have had lots of sessions of sitting down with crayons and paper
and miraculously they haven't yet experimented on our walls so I think any arty stuff will be enjoyed there.
Am also reasonably well advanced on other presents for adults, but am completely procrastinating over starting on xmas cards. I HATE writing, it's just disastrous whenever I put a real pen to paper, like some kind of apoplectic spider has been tasked with the job, and can't bear sitting down with a pile of cards. I also really struggle to write anything interesting - card fear.
Enjoy the weekend, looks like a chilly but hopefully nice crisp one!
Yes - Chesti, I hope things are looking better there? How did H's appt go?
Yup, complainers are oldies here . Though not as old as the previous secretary who did nowt & let the place get so run-down, so shouldn't complain I suppose. Thing is though, everyone on /around committee appear to be family or friends so it seems v clquey. & families seem to be building mini Empires by collecting runs of plots. Mine is at the end of one of these so I'm wondering if they have their eye on it & the council clearance of it wasn't such an accident after all....
Well exactly - Mike Knight is def not just for boys. & surely a little imagination of those so stuck in gender stereotyping would accept that girly princesses need castles too . Didn't see your link but we have keyboard here too that they love. After seeing boys enjoy a (pink!) one at playgroup MIL donated her once-used 9 day wonder keyboard. I was all for saving it for xmas but of course they need new things for xmas . Emergency sirens are one of the effects so they love that & C likes to bop to the demo tracks. Will have to look again at the Ikea one Cerub. I keep meaning to check out TTT for kitchen chat. We've seen one on the mothercare site we like but it's not in stock. & cards..... well I just don't do them other than the few I can't get away with.... increasing this year to send a few to nursery `friends'.
Only other booby chat we've had so far are mine , generally in the changing room at the pool, where bthey are also constantly surprised to discover I have a bum too . Though C does like to be forceful in her demands in public these days & just pulls my top - not so good when you're chatting to your boss . Probably worse at the mo is J's obsession with his willy. He's always been aware, but recently has been err... playing quite a lot & frequently announces `made my willy big Mummy'. Only `public' in loos so far but still. His other faves are to ask me to tickle / pull his willy again.... is that SS I hear in the distance....
My two are driving me f*&£$%^@ insane
My two are driving me totally fricking insane too tarti I completely lost it with them yesterday. Mind you, I think partly it's because DH is STILL under my feet (yes, NO JOB AS YET... 5 months and counting <arggghhhh>). And yet still as much use as a chocolate teapot - I just get to spend all day with them with him looking on from a distance telling me how I could do it better. I'm only mildly joking.
He also keeps asking me "what we're doing wrong" with the girls because they are just in an impossible phase. Saying no to everything, whining non-stop, refusing to get dressed to the point where getting out of the house is a major achievement. They are acting like depressed teenagers already, and would rather stay home than ever leave the house it seems.
On the positive side, I think I'm about done with presents for them both. This includes birthdays, which on the one hand feels annoying to be so close to Christmas, on the other they probably get the equivalent of one lot of presents really, split between two days. Nursery are having a Christmas party on their actual birthday (14th) and we're having a party on the 15th. DH wants to pretend their birthday is on the Saturday so we "don't confuse them" by sending them off to nursery only to have a general party there, and them then having their actual party a day later. For some reason the fact that he's even suggested this is making my head explode with irritation...
I looked in earlier & thought I should come back to apologise for thread killing again...!
Haha, sure the girls won't care or remember having 2 birthdays Mucky, & I guess having parties on the `wrong' day is pretty normal. Dp's Superdad crown failed him at a Xmas party on Sat. He wandered round like a lost soul
other than sorting practical things like getting food, leaving me to field 3 littlies and the craft table mid-task. They had a couple of performers doing Peter Pan & J loved it. He really got the humour / madness and giggled his way through it. He has such an infectious giggle & I was crying with laughter just watching him. W sat on my other knee & seemed a bit overwhelmed by it all. As soon as it was over he got up & announced `that was brilliant'.... and kept repeating so maybe did enjoy it after all.
Well, J reduced his keyworker to tears today with his behaviour - does that count? Apparently he was a nightmare all afternoon & was picking fights with all the other children! When dp told me I got down to J's level to talk to him about it & his bottom lip started quivering, he burst into tears & needed a hug - and I hadn't said anything. Dp said he'd done the same in the car when he'd spoken to him. They've not been bad at home though we are going through a phase of W annoying J & J whining about it every time my back is turned. However, J has also worked out that telling untrue tales can result in W being told off so it's difficult. Usually end up telling off both of them.
Better news with potty though. We've had 1 accident in the last week or so at home, including taking them out & about on short shopping trips / groups we go to / swimming/ Xmas party. Nursery has been a different kettle of fish & they've merrily peed their way through all the spare clothes I've sent over the last couple of weeks . <Hopefully> a breakthrough today with only 1 wet set of clothes between them. We had a poo from each on potty over the weekend too so that felt like a huge leap forward. None since, but they tend to poo first thing so difficult to catch .
We're done with our shopping too - dp picked up C's smart trike thing today. Just have to sort everyone else's shopping for them now! My parents have decided they don't want to get a play tent as they look too flimsy so have suggested one of the rigid plastic house things. Would be OK if we had a garden but not sure. But if not that then I'll have to come up with something else & though they have surprised me with how much they'd like to spend, the kitchen we have our eye on will be too much. & Mum is stressing cos she needs to shop asap as they're coming to us the week before Xmas so she needs everything Xmas sorted prior to that.
Re-looking at our real kitchen now - I booked a design bod for Friday. Eek!
We are all better and seem to be over the norovirus (if that's what it was). Wasn't fun whatever it was.
The boys are doing well but H is completely doing my head in at the moment. She's a nightmare. Stroppy, rude. The boys seem a delight in comparison and to be fair they are in the terrible 2s so just shows how awful she is being. And she's almost bloody 5! I thought the tantrums would be over by now. Think me and DH need to have a chat and reassess how we are dealing with her. Reward charts or something I think is needed.
Very jealous of all you who have done their present shopping. Mine is very chaotic. Need to look at what I've got and what I still need to get. We've got a 12' trampoline for the 3 kids. Not that they'll be able to use it much until the weather gets better. Did manage to get a bit of shopping done on Sat as I went to my parents for the weekend with they kids and Mum looked after them ahilst I shopped. It was bliss having couple of hours shopping without kids, even though I wasn't shopping for me but buying Christmas gifts it was still lovely. H is so easy to buy for and her stocking is bulging. The boys I'm really stuck, they have a peppa DVD, a few wooden trains, some t-shirts and that's it! Need to put more effort in.
DH stayed at home when I went up north and painted the kitchen which is also bliss. It looks great. Darker blue than I would ideally want but to be honest it was so grubby before that anything is a vast improvement. Need to tackle the sitting room next. How is yours going ladyM
Great news ALL on the potty training front. The boys seem to be doing great. My pair are still denying even having done a poo when they are pbviously stinking.
Very envious of everyone's house improvements...
Mucky I have no idea how you cope having DH around the house all day, I'd have long since killed him, myself or both...
ALL we have the same issue with very few accidents at home but lots at nursery. I think they just don't check/force them to go often enough, and/or the girls' requests to go don't always get heard above the din
Not loving the new emoticons by the way.
Lots more to say but as ever am too shattered. Nightie night...
I don't know how I'm coping either, mutter mutter...
House improvements continue apace. Don't get me wrong, we're not exactly rebuilding Rome here - carpenter arrives tomorrow to build some shelves and a couple of alcove cabinets, and that's about the sum total of the "renovations" in many ways. I must be insane because then on Monday the decorator is scheduled to start to paint the room, and then I'm hoping to tart it up with paintings, nick nacks, cushions, rugs (none of which have been bought yet... in the couple of days between decorator finishing and us having a party in which I'm obviously hoping to show it off with great nonchalance, as though we've always lived with a Grown Up Sitting Room. I'm quite pleased with my purchases so far though, managed to buy a lovely Graham and Green chandelier on Ebay which is 6 months old but going for about a third of the new price.
Just buying party bag stuff for the girls party. And thinking about doing a couple of party games. My god I am terrified at the prospect. It's not like the old days where you just had a party, bought shedloads of wine in, and then drank enough of it yourself in the opening 90 minutes that you didn't care less what happened afterwards... I feel utterly hopeless at the thought of doing pass the parcel, entertaining what will be about 10 children of different ages, and thinking that there'll be enough going on for the parents to have a decent time too. Not to mention the fact that at the moment our house looks like a bombsite...
And have I mentioned that my FIL arrived for a week long visit this afternoon?
Oh god. I'm going to have a nervous breakdown before Christmas, aren't I?
Just the mention of your father in law makes me smile mucky
Here here tarti <awaits sound of explosions from mucky's house>.
Usual Friday catch up from me. We were planning to go away this weekend, to a family-friendly but quite smart hotel where they have the excellent combination of a creche and a spa, but in the end have decided against on the basis that it is just too much cash right now. For the same money we have a booking with a tiler next week to come and lift almost all the tiles in our bathroom floor, nail down the sub-floor beneath it to make it more solid (hopefully not knackering the underfloor heating in the process), and re-lay the tiles again. In the two years since our renovations, we must have dropped a grand on attempts at stopping those tiles from wobbling and the grout crumbling and this is the once-and-for-all attempt to fix the problem. VERY annoying.
Anyway, having a bathroom floor that is grouted and wobble-free is nearly the same as going away for a nice massage and smart meals isn't it?
Sounds as if there are quite a few tantrums/challenging behaviour episodes to deal with at the moment. Does the threat of Father Christmas missing them out this year have any success?
Let me know if you find a good play kitchen, ALL. I was watching one on ebay that looked perfect and was listed for £50. As luck would have it, I was out when the auction came to an end so couldn't have been in there but actually quite glad as some
fool person ended up paying £165 for it! SURELY you can find something new cheaper than that?
Hope your kitchen designer appointment goes well and gives you some inspiration to move forward. Be prepared for the costed design to be at least £5k over what you tell them your budget is!
Quick question. My two are still having bottles for their milk, which I know is not 'supposed' to be good after a year but not sure why not. They only have their milk from bottles, they drink water from a cup with a spout perfectly well, and they brush their teeth after milk (I say 'brush their teeth' but of course I mean 'suck the toothbrush') so as far as I can see there shouldn't be any tooth decay/speech impediment/developmental delay issue with this. Nonetheless, would you be pushing on with encouraging them to have a cup instead?
Ahhh I am so sorry for my lack of posts for about a gazillion years!
I have caught up but there is too much to comment on!
We are all fine here - have some good Potty training to report from Emme! Finally decided to bite the bullet as she was getting upset about all the praise that J and A were getting. She's been trying sooo hard and its lovely to see her feeling proud of herself about something! J and A have been acting like big sister 'Profession Potty Trainers' and have been reminding her, singing 'pee pee on the potty' songs, and making her stickers to say well done! Very cute!
It all changes pretty quickly though and their behaviour over the last few weeks hasn't exactly been 'enjoyable', but I've spoken to lots of friends and come to the conclusion that it must be the weather making them so grotty! Think they are all just getting tired and wanting Xmas to come!
Sorry again for such a ridiculously late update!
Gah! Long post just got eaten!
How's fil Mucky? Surprised you didn't just get him on doing the building / painting while he's here to keep
us entertained him out of trouble.
We nearly just got the Ikea play kitchen Cerub, but have just ordered this instead. Am going to suggest my parents buy some additional pay food & then hopefully we're all sorted. Liked this too. Just need to work out where we're going to put it . Real kitchen plans coming on OK - layout done & just need to finalise the appliances. Can't wait til it's all done!
I wouldn't stress too much about the bottle post-1. I felt the pressure to drop it but we still had
copious volumes of milk through the night in bottles for a long time. Lots of toddlers seem resistant to having milk in anything other than the bottle & ours certainly were. As long as they're not spending the day with the bottle hanging from their mouth & are chewing cleaning teeth then they'll get there in the end. Our 2 had v little milk once we got them off the bottle & it's only now that they choose to drink it at times.
I don't feel comfy with using the threat of no pressies for bad behaviour but our 2 wouldn't get it this year anyway. They have some understanding, but it's a bit wooly despite all the Xmas bedtime stories we're doing! They seem to think Santa Claus has something to do with bringing the tree but now it's up they're still saying he's coming soon so I'm not sure what they're expecting will happen .
The kitchen looks great ALL. And the real one is obviously coming along nicely too. We have ordered a JoJo kitchen in the end, having started to panic a
lot bit that we were getting close to Christmas and not keen to spend any more time schlepping round the shops. It's this one - looks quite small so I hope it's not going to be a constant cycle of pushing and shoving to use it! Thanks for thoughts on bottles, they still seem to really enjoy their milk at the moment but I guess things like that change overnight don't they. I won't worry a minute longer!
Hi Kate, great news about E's potty training. Good girl! What are you getting your girls this year? And how is I getting on with her cast?
We've got tantrums galore from S here. Seems what he's been doing for a few months was just like a prelude to the main event and now he's on a knife edge a lot of the time. Requests to put on coat or shoes seem to drive him to distraction! Oh, and going upstairs, taking off said coat or shoes, having his nappy changed, bla bla. I badly need to grow a pair because I have to admit I am a little wimpy about asserting my authority when I sense a tantrum coming. At least R is being a little angel at the moment, which tends to mean she gets less attention but I really mustn't let that happen - must encourage the good behaviour!
Stupidly busy here. Work is relentless. And DH has been offered full time after Christmas so we are madly trying to sort out childcare for 3. Have some mad plan of using a combination of nursery/childminder/granny. Think I'm loosing my mind trying to plan it all.
Hope all is going well with you all, and I'll try and get a chance to read properly and catch up on all your news soon
Sorry to hear about the tantrums Cerub - I've come to the conclusion that this kind of behaviour is definitely seasonal! All this Xmas excitement just wears them out!
To distract mine from strops at the moment, as soon as they start the high pitch whinge I gasp (loudly) and say 'Wha.. what? Hang on! I think I just saw one of FC's robins outside! Quick come and have a look/Quick put your shoes on before he see's!' So far it has worked a treat!
Thank you so much for asking about Isla - she's doing brilliantly and it has become second nature to us now, we've pretty much forgotten about it. We joke that she should have had a fur lining to keep her extra warm!
Yep we are very pleased with E for the potty training
Just a quickie from me Am also madly busy, house is a complete tip but starting to take some shape. Went back to the antiques market this morning - up at 5.30 to do so!! <proud> - and came back with 4 paintings (so high end - ranging from £10 to £25 each ) and an antique birdcage. DH was less than impressed with my finds, wrinkling his nose up a bit at each one as they came out of my big holdall. Ah well.
FIL has just left. It has been a less arduous visit than most, it has to be said. But it had its moments. I tend to leave him alone more, don't bother trying to cook for him (it's pointless - he never appreciates the effort I go to to make us all a gluten-free meal
for his bloody benefit and once this time I made him a Nigella Coq au Riesling which was DELICIOUS I caught him throwing it in the bin and nipping out to get himself a bloody Chinese
My mother arrives tomorrow so that should inject a small amount of order to proceedings. And increase the wine consumption considerably....
Will write more soon, just so desperately trying to get our house in some sort of order - we have weeks worth of post to catch up with, don't know how we can excuse the chaos really.
Our toy kitchen arrived today Cerub. Assuming it's the toy one anyway - the box is scarily huge . I really liked the wooden ones but this seemed to have quite a bit to it & is double sided so hopefully all 3 will find somewhere to play around it
clearly still have some learning to do on that one.
Oh dear to tantrums too! We are having a bit of a phase with J at the mo. Not tantrums really, but def trying to assert his
non authority. Sounds much worse at nursery but I think it's because he still cares a bit about making me cross at the moment. He's saying no to doing a lot of things. & `don't like'. In fact he whined all the way home from nursery today because `I don't like that aeroplane'.... that happened to be flying high in the sky. & then it changed to not liking a Xmas tree W & I were admiring. Last night he had a strop because dp didn't let him sit in the car seat of his choice when he picked him up from nursery. He came intp the house & lay on the floor by the front door declaring he didn't want dinner. So we left him. Then I put him in his room. Eventually he decided he needed a wee, dp took him to the loo & he was happy as Larry & came & ate all his dinner except the bits I'd given to others thinking he really wasn't going to eat. Baffling.
Great news on dh's job Chesti! Will you see decent financial gain too or is it still long-term plan? I hope things easein the run-up to Xmas.
Woop to fil not being too much of a pain LadyM. The Chinese incident - soo rude! Could see mine doing similar
if I ever cooked for him.
Aaargh. Dp away tonight & C is awake for the 3rd time since putting her down...
Phew, am slightly gibbering mess after our party yesterday to celebrate the girls' 3rd birthday. Most of the work was done in the reception rooms, and I'm v v pleased with it The party was a great success, although I'm not sure I'm looking forward to repeating it and am beginning to see the attraction of "outsourcing" the venue in future. My mother pointed out that from memory, it gets a lot easier when the parents leave because of course then you're only trying to entertain one lot of guests, rather than two with completely different needs. I found it utterly exhausting!
Will be back to write more tomorrow...
Happy birthday J & E. Hope they had a great time at their party
Thanks Chesti. Hopefully my posts will be a bit less mememe now that this particular milestone has passed...!
Yes - Happy Birthday J & E! Glad you survived Mucky, & so much progress with your house in such a short time too. Very impressed!
I set myself lots of targets over the weekend for house things & achieved none of them as we are in the midst of another vague, lingering icky bug thing. W has only thrown up once on Friday but poor C has been the worst. Think it must be a viral gastro thing as it's very similar to the thing the boys had on their 1st bday: milk intolerance and creamy, pale poo (sorry!). But not actually ill as such so that's something. Dp & I have taken turns to feel rough - I couldn't muster the energy to get off the sofa on Sat afernoon!
My parents arrived today
have yet to share the joy of potential for icky bug. They're on a coach tour thing & staying in a hotel so not actually seen them yet. Good choice not to keep the boys out of nursery today . Now just need to decide what we're doing for the next few days, making sure they're back at the hotel in time for their evening meal .
Boys have brought a lovely bag of their Christmas arty creations home from nursery today. They were so excited to show us everything & hang their decs on the tree etc. They did a `letter to Santa' in which they stuck pics of toys from the Argos catalogue.... both have scooters on & that explains Jack's recent `I neeeeeeeed a `cooter' outbursts. Shame Father Christmas didn't let us in on that before we got bikes. Sure they'll love them anyway.
Sorry it's late, Happy Birthday J & E!
God, so annoyed, I wrote a long post at the weekend and now I've come back to find it's not been posted
Anyway, in summary, M is totally defeating me with her horrific tantrums at the moment. Other than that all fine, DH has had a pretty good job offer from a company near Derby which is obviously a big move for us so mulling that over whilst dealing with manic last week of term and sorting Christmas...
So glad the party was ok mucky and that your sitting room got done in time. Lovely pics of the girls on fb.
lavita I keep catching fleeting glimpses of you on other threads <waves and lurks>
ALL sorry you're dealing with lurgy once again. I've got a dodgy tum today and am quaking at the thought of a house full of norovirus for Christmas!
Love to all, my New Years resolution is to write more on this thread, you have all been brilliant at various times when I've needed advice, a moan or just an equally awful/hilarious twin anecdote - I need more of this at the moment! X
Forgot to mention nursery 'nativity' on Tuesday - both girls bolted into the audience on seeing us and spent the duration cowering on our knees refusing to sing.
They both also cried when Father Christmas visited their Christmas party yesterday <eye roll>
How annoying tarti.
Cerub - I have been meaning to comment on the bottle thing
although have been too self-absorbed to remember - basically would you believe we have JUST thrown ours in the bin. I remember thinking when the girls were about a year that you are 'meant' to get them off the bottle, but then asked around and nobody seems to pay a blind bit of notice to that particular edict. Our girls have kept their evening bottle until recently, although a problem with that for us was that E, who never really took to a dummy, was still using the bottle for comfort and so in times of illness etc, we'd find ourselves using the bottle for her more and more. I've been keen to get rid of them for a while but was nervous about ditching them completely. However, prompted by E this week who said she was too much of a big girl to have milk out of a bottle any more, I threw them all away and it's been easy. I think one reason I held onto them was that I could know that even if they didn't eat much dinner, they'd always reliably sink a bottle of milk just before bed, and of course was hoping this would help them stay full until the morning.
tarti - that's great news about the job! Does this mean a potential move Midlands-wards?
I hear you re. the tantrums. We're having a bit of a time with it with J too, which seems to have got much worse since her trip to hospital.
I failed my driving test yesterday
sorry or lack of posts, have been so busy
procrastinating about everything lately, lots of driving lessons, busy with the jewellery, busy with tantruming, naughty toddlers, who have drawn all over our kitchen wall and are generally terrible little nightmares
Good news is that the girls finally start nursery in Jan, only 2 mornings a week, yay! Their nursery teacher came for a home visit o meet them and she was lovely, the girls were being amazingly cute and well behaved (it was almost unnerving!)
Lots of Christmas love and cheer to you all!
Ooh Tarti - potentially more than `just' a house move then! Is the thought exciting or unsettling?
I'm hoping our current lurgy means everyone will be well by Xmas . C is still throwing up on occasion & is v clingy. Seems to be threatening with bronchiolitis again too . Boys just have the obligatory snottiness & cough at the mo so I guess that's good....
We're def in the midst of a new stubborn no/don't like/can't/not yet/not listening/NO`phase' with J. Exciting week for them tho cos my parents have been. Worst bit was 90mins of wailing at 10pm the other night cos he didn't like his room / bed / Daddy. I think `scary monsters' prob came into it somewhere but didn't get to the bottom of that one. An exciting day today - took them to their first concert. A 45min lunchtime jazz / Xmas music thingy. Booked a box so we didn't disturb others if they played up. J refused to come in to begin with, then came in but was pretty uncooperative other than clapping. We ended up leaving a couple of songs before it finished as a meltdown from all 3 was about to ensue. Was OK considering I suppose.
Couple of days to recover, shop, wrap and clean then the ILs arrive.....
Oh Lavita . What happened? I guess it's a pain more than anything knowing you've got to pay again just to jump through the hoop before you get that freedom. Are you rebooking to do asap?
Thanks ALL just tried to book again but next available is Feb!
I just mucked up my parallel park aarrgghh so annoyed with myself because normally I'm fine, just went to pot a bit. Only 6 minors which is good as you are allowed 15. More practise needed! Annoying as it's cost me about 1k so far so let's add another £300 in the hope I pass next time!
Sorry to hear that LVB. All the best people take a couple of goes to pass though
she lamely reassures herself. You can at least take comfort from the fact that you didn't pull out in front of another car at a roundabout within 30 seconds of leaving the test centre like me a friend of mine. Luckily back then parallel parking wasn't in the test or it might have taken me my friend a few more goes to pass! I reckon it's tricky at the best of times, let alone under exam conditions.
Poor ALL with illness and big tantrums to contend with on top of Xmas. I hope the dreaded bronchiolitis doesn't materialise for all your sakes, especially pool old C. I like the way your expectations are so low that the music concert was "OK considering"!
When would the move happen if you go for it tarti? Have you started putting out feelers for your own work situation, and would it be tricky to move during term time? Presume so.
Much belated happy returns to the girls, mucky. Did they enjoy all the celebrations? Must be the first year they've really got the concept of a special day. The house improvements sound as though they've gone as hoped too, we'll done.
Am up at a stupid hour as I'm suffering with completely achey muscles everywhere. Not presaging flu or anything, just some kind of muscular imbalance I think that has been building since the weekend. I've got a headache from the neck bit of it and simply can't get comfy in bed because my legs feel as though they've got the leg equivalent of toothache. It's probably a combination of emotional tension (Xmas/work) and wearing boots that encourage bad posture or something.
Last day of work today (from home) and I still have about two-thirds of the wrapping to do, so will try and fit that in while the house is quiet. Tomorrow the MIL descends, then my folks. Our strategy this year is to gently encourage everyone to please themselves, get themselves food/drink, take themselves off for walks etc if needed, so we're not all feeling we have to entertain/be entertained, feed/be fed and spend all hours together. That's the spirit of Christmas right?
Aww, poo LVB. Such a shame there can't be some system where driving instructors can't be tasked with assessing & awarding when they deem you're a good driver. Though I guess that'd be open to abuse if you're paying for lessons. I had an horrendous lesson prior my test. Very nearly totally missed a pedestrian crossing during the test.... and was so determined to make sure the examiner knew I'd seen pedestrians during my manouvre that I was seriously in danger oif being failed for hestiating. But passed with few minors & looked great on paper. Then had a scary first drive in my new-to-me car just after (foot slipping on accelarator when cornering, wrong way up one way street .... and then did a big motorway drive. All a bit pot luck really. Not that that helps you.
That's our pressies wrapped tonight - phew, feel we're getting there. Supposed to get the
bloody wendy house from my parents after all, but we're thinking it might not happen. We'll see. Have just done tags `from Santa' for some of my parent's pressies as there are comparatively so many. & dp is off now for a couple of weeks too, which is lovely. Tho seeing fb posts from work colleagues glad it's the end of term is really bringing home that return to work / real life is getting scarily close now!
I hope your muscle aches have eased now Cerub, and that your visitors have arrived and the vino is flowing.
Tis here... tho dd has just woken.
Poor you LVB - very bad luck. As Cerub says if parallel parking had been in my test
all those decades ago there'd be no WAY I'd have passed. It took me at least a decade to master it! Actually, I wouldn't say I've mastered it yet, and I've now been driving 25 years..
Hope everyone's Christmasses are coming along nicely. We are guest-free for a few days now and really relishing it. DH and I have been having one of our down patches, I'm sure not helped by him still being out of work and therefore around a lot. Also money is now getting very tight and that never helps matters. Very urgent for him to get work in the new year now... My mother comes back for another visit on Boxing Day, and on Christmas Day we travel down to my bro's to see his family, plus his g/f's family, and my mother who is staying there too. Mum phoned me yesterday to tell me that my DN came home from nursery yesterday with chicken pox, so did we still want to come down and basically knowingly infect the girls with it. Bit of a dilemma but I've chosen to go ahead, so we're no doubt going to be spending the first half of January holed up at home nursing a pair of poxy toddlers. Might be the incentive I need to finally confront potty training...
I'm about to wrap up the girls' pressies and taking stock of what they've got and wondering if it's too much/not enough. An extra big gift that has been added at the last minute is a Jake & Neverland pirate ship, from pooling together money they got for their birthday and Christmas from my grandfather (so sweet of him). I am beside myself with excitement about how much they're going to love it, although am in shock at how ridiculously expensive Disney stuff is to buy - now I know why I'm such a Disney-phobe in general!
Mulled wine and mince pies to all - no doubt I'll be back to post over the festive period but wanted to wish you all lots of marvellous Christmas cheer
Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you are all getting on great and getting into the Christmas
wine spirit. Sorry for the lack of posting of late, I've been reaaly manic at work. Have been longing for the holidays thinking if I can just survive until then but to be honest it's just a temp reprieve, all the same problems will be there in the new year but at least I can ignore them all for 10 days
The kids are all getting very excited by Christmas. I'm a bit worried that it won't live up to their expectations as their stockings are full of books, clothes and practical things li,e hot waters bottles. Not exactly the toy and chocolate fest that they might want. Their present from us is a trampoline, which I know they will love but in reality won't get the use of until spring. But tough it's too late to change now, so they just have to lump it.
LVB sorry to hear about your test. I failed first time too. Better luck next year. LadyM, hope things I prove for you and dh finds a job in the new year. Tarti, sounds like you are in for an exciting new year too, derby is great, DB lived there for a while. All and cerub and kate, hope things go well for you too. Roll on 2013
Merry Christmas from all of us too . Finished the last bits of wrapping today & dp has assembled the kitchen, bikes & trikes so that's the important bits done before the ILs arrive tomorrow. Done most of shopping today but still need a few odds and ends
and the turkey & to ice/decorate the cake.
Excitement here too. J still keeps saying Santa Claus is bringing him a `cooter. W reckons Santa Claus is coming to our house to give him a bike. One happy chappy anyway... We do need to get our story straight for next year though...
Been out for a Xmas meal with friends tonight & J was so excited that their dd gave him a little present (wasn't that small & they all exchanged gifts...). Then he had a total meltdown when we got home. He seems to have taken a real dislike to his room & bed . Managed to persuade him that Pooh Bear was tired & needed him to lie next to him while he went to sleep
I hope your visitor-free time is just what you & dh need Mucky. Never easy having a stream of visitors but especially not if you're feeling the strain anyway - I hope 2013 brings good job news & maybe not pox? But then again... I know what you mean about looking forward to hols but knowing same probs there when you get back Chesti - I hope you can forget about it all & enjoy your break .
I failed first time too lavita and am still shit at parking.
mucky my DH and I are going though a pretty bad patch too. Hey ho, I'm brushing it under the carpet for now... You're right that money worries and work stress (or lack of work stress) magnify everything out of all proportion. God knows how we are going to make this decision about whether to move, I'm fairly loathe to sacrifice my friends and support networks up here to further his career at the moment with the way things are tbh. Probably sounds more dramatic than it is, in any case I'm postponing all thoughts on the matter until 2013.
Hope you're all feeling well prepared. I was just thinking I had everything pretty much sorted and wrapped when I remembered the doll's house in the garage which has yet to be assembled... Plus cake yet to be iced and no mince pies made as yet. Only got mum staying though, 24th-27th, and she's more a help than a hindrance so can't complain! Think I will dispatch DH and the girls to soft play in the morning so I can get some stuff done.
Kids have really done me in today, tantrums and neediness... I remember reading an Ann Tyler novel about a woman who walks out on her family and starts a new, quiet uneventful life somewhere else - I think I came close at about 6pm!
Happy Christmas everyone anyway, I'm sure I'll be back with more festive cheer over the next few days
ALL I've done the same thing with a few presents from the in laws as there's way too much ( as usual!)
HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
I've been awake since 6am to soothe Juliet back to sleep from a nightmare. I then proceeded to have an hour-long coughing fit and caved in and got up. The girls are still asleep - bet it's the last Christmas we can say that for at 8am in the morning... - and I'm sitting here staring at the pressies under the tree, the half eaten mince pie by the fireplace and the carrot stub in Rudolph's bowl Still getting my head around being the custodian of all these childhood rituals and realising we haven't a clue what we're doing! I had thought for soem reason we'd be saying all presents were from Father Christmas, now realising that's a bit stupid. Ah well... hopefully the girls will be so gobsmacked by the general Christmassyness of it all they won't care. So sweet how excited they've been, in fact J when I went in and she was tossing and turning in her sleep said "I want to see wudolph... the... wed-nosed... weeeeiinndeer".
I hear stirrings upstairs. I should probably be Doing Things other than being on MN on this festive day but I feel so shattered (late night too faffing about) that all I can bear to do is sit here with a bloody Lemsip.
Anyway - Happy Christmas to all. xxx
Happy Christmas lovelies!
We were up at 6.15 so it's been a looong old day
Girls loved it all and had no idea who anything was from. Next year I am going to beef up the stockings and tone down the under-the-tree presents I think, as opening the stockings was by far the nicest bit and by the time we got halfway through the other presents they had totally lost the plot.
Must get to bed, am utterly shattered - hope you've all had fun, I look forward to the festive debriefs! X
Festive debrief tomorrow... am bloody knackered tonight! xx
Happy Christmas for yesterday. Hope all the littlies had fun and the grown ups had enough to drink!
I've had to come upstairs on my own for 20 mins just to have a bit of room to exhale. Am seriously tempted to say next year the grandparents go somewhere else, as if that would ever be allowed. My mum has caught a the inevitable cold that she's always on pins and needles waiting for, and let's just say is not being stoic about it. She is also displaying quite blatant favouritism of S to the near exclusion of any attention for R. I can't let that go on much longer, not by the time they are big enough to notice.
Such a lot of presents yesterday, and we called a halt before we'd gone through them all so there is more to do. Lunch was excellent and I got some lovely presents.
I don't know, it just didn't really feel like fun yesterday, IYKWIM? Just so much faffing from all concerned - not the easygoing bunch you'd hope for, who unobtrusively lend a hand without a performance, anticipate when the children are getting overwrought, or take the food that they want without telling you repeatedly that there is too much and they hate waste. Maybe next year? (which keeps on being my mantra)...
Merry Christmas everyone. Getting a slightly stressed and overwrought vibe from the thread at the moment. Hopefully in a couple of days (when the visitors depart?) you' 'll be looking back with fondness.
Quite quiet here, just the 4 of us and my parents for Christmas (and they are just across town, so only an afternoon there). As I feared the day was a bit of a let down for the boys - when I agreed it was finally Christmas (having been asked every morning for a month) they got excited, "Build a snowman then 4 birthdays!!!" And all Magnus wanted was a yoyo (as that was because Peppa got it in the Christmas episode I ignored him, not expecting him to keep going on about it).
Very bad news is I am losing my crown on my tooth just after a final attempt to stick it back in (very little tooth to attach it to). So expensive implant here I come.
That's annoying about your crown rattling - hope you manage to get it replaced easily. I have heard of a few toddlers who requested a yoyo this Christmas just like Peppa
OK I really need your thoughts on this potential move:
DH has been offered a better job in Derby (we are currently in the NE). The money is not a huge leap from where he is now, but he currently does a mixture of employed/self employed, the employed bit is a rolling short term contract so not much security and whilst he is reasonably (but not brilliantly) well paid, his status there is fairly modest. The new job is essentially a gradual handover from the MD of a small company who wants to retire in the next couple of years. It will never be megabucks but DH would be taking over the management of it in the foreseeable future so would have an increasing share of the profits. It's the kind of work he currently does for one day a week, self employed, which he enjoys more than the teaching he does at the University for the other four days.
I teach three days a week in a school I have mixed feelings about, but it's the school I started in so I am very comfortable there, have a good network and am well established, they usually accommodate what I want in terms of timetable and there is the potential to go full time again when I want to.
I have a lot of good friends up here. Some from pre-DCs and some whose kids are the same age with whom I spend the majority of my SAHM days.
However my Mum (who's widowed) lives in Sheffield, where I grew up and still have some friends. My sister lives in Macclesfield now with her husband and toddler. I miss them both terribly and would love to be nearer (in addition, I am watching my Mum deal with looking after her own elderly mother at a distance of around 3.5 hrs drive which is emotionally and physically exhausting, not to mention expensive, for her). This seems to be a golden opportunity... (DH's work is extremely 'niche' and there are very few places in the country doing what he does so there are unlikely to be further opportunities in the forseeable future).
WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO?! I asked him this morning what he would do if he were single, he said he would take the job. I said then let's do it, and he backtracked and said with the family to consider he wasn't sure it would be the best thing for us. I can't think straight to be honest.
I do like the idea of a move to Sheffield as the area where I grew up is absolutely lovely. But would I be giving up too much. Teaching jobs are in theory very transportable but there's very little about in the current climate and certainly not in the middle of a school year. Plus that would be anywhere from a 1-2hr commute for DH depending on traffic. I don't want to live in Derby. Would consider Derbyshire (Peak District) but think nice houses will be expensive plus it might feel isolated and in winter I would probably lose any benefit of being closer to Mum and sister due to cut off roads etc.
Am rambling now. Can anyone offer any thoughts?!? Thanks in advance...
If you move Tarti you will be nearer to us for a potential meet up!
I think Mucky will be the best to answer this, but I would write a really big pro's and con's list together.
Are you certain about the school/work situation? Are there not mid term maternity cover positions or cover teacher work, not ideal but to tide you over?
When does the job start? You need Phil & Kirstie to show you the area, I'd be sending the researchers at aLocation, Location, Location a quick email
How did you end up in the NE?
Would you like me to do some house research? What's the budget and area? I love right move and prime location!
secretly pleased you have asked for advice so I don't have to offer it unsolicited regardless
I would do it. I think. If you're not wedded to the area you're in currently for anything other than a job you have mixed feelings about, and friends that post-move you wouldn't be that far from in the grand scheme of things... then IMO you should go for it. Do you have any career aspirations for the longer term which might be thwarted/enhanced were you to move? It sounds perfect for DH (which I realise doesn't necessarily mean perfect for either you or for the family) - would he resent it if you decided against?
It's an interesting twist of fate that this opportunity has come up at a time when you were thinking of moving anyway, isn't it?
One thing I do when it comes to making decisions is to try to imagine how I'd feel one way or the other having made the decision. If you decided to go for it, how would you feel? A mixture of nervous and excited? If you decided against, would you feel a bit disappointed that you'd opted to stay with things being the same? From what you've said I think it sounds as though -
DH's career has everything to gain from the move
Your career could initially be held back but in the medium/long-term maybe not suffer..?
Your links to family would feel stronger
(Where are DH's family based..?)
Both of you would be starting afresh re. friends..?
Back later to write more. But for now, I think it all sounds very very excited, and congrats to your DH for being offered what sounds like a fantastic job for him!
That should read 'excit ing ' - and ditto what LVB says re. being closer for potential meet-ups!
In regards to meet ups, what about a child free girls dinner in London one night?
We have some huge expenses coming up
nursery and I don't think I can do any time away until we have a bit more free cash, but I would love to meet in person! Without children preferable as mine are a nightmare, as those of you on FB will now know!
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Oh crikey sorry just realised what I've done there! Will report post.
Don't worry I think I easily out myself on here!
Shall I tell you all my funny Christmas story?
I sent DP out late on Xmas eve to buy crackers as I'd forgotten to, said don't worry about buying expensive ones as they all have rubbish inside, more for the tradition, jokes and wearing hats. Off he goes, had a nightmare finding any as all sold out, none in Tesco, Asda or Waitrose!
Eventually he found some in the £1 shop so bought them at £1 each. Christmas Day we sat round the table and pulled the crackers, they didn't bang, all had a tennis ball in and had the same joke "why can't dogs dance?" " because they have 2 left feet!" No hats, we were all starving so didn't think anymore about it.
I dreamt about them, and woke up thinking, why didn't they have hats? Then remembered they had a picture of a dog in a Christmas suit on it, you often get Christmas cards with animals on so hadn't really registered it. Then I checked the packaging in the recycling, he had bought pet crackers for your dog!!!!
LMAO LVB. You are making my Christmas with your anecdotes! The one about your phone on FB tickled me too
there but for the grace of god
But still LVB, they put a joke in but not a hat.....?
Hmm Tarti.... I guess the hard part is actually making the decision as it sounds like there could be plenty of positives to the move for you all. Hard to give up a decent teaching post though as they are def not as easy to come by as it seems from the outside, esp once you've got a few years under your belt. But then I guess timing is good if you're planning on a move anyway / choosing schools etc. Don't envy you tho. I feel my stress levels rising if I feel dp's feet starting to get itchy.
We had a lovely Xmas but back to just us this afternoon which has been equally lovely. I think we were all coming to the edge of our tolerance for all the little things. Will loves his bike. Jack less so but we were out yesterday
in the peeing rain and he gained a lot of confidence so getting there. & the world didn't end cos he didn't get a scooter <phew>. Though he is rather taken with C's SmartTrike (which is FAB!). Strangely he also suddenly decided he needed a yoyo on Xmas Eve - we didn't even know he knew what one was! Kitchen was a big hit too. C got plenty of pink, including the handbag thing that MILsounded me out about a while ago. Thought I'd put her off but either hardened her 'pink' resolve or she'd already bought it. Oops. She also bought her the HappyLand 'Wedding set' . We I have an ipad - love, love, love! & lovely dp replaced the ring I lost the other week so I'm a v lucky girl .
Thanks girls. I think i would feel excited about it if we decided to go, and a bit ho hum if we didn't now, i think - although we have a nice life up here etc etc. It does feel a bit like it's fate, having happened at a time when we will need to move anyway (house size/schools).
After another discussion with DH this evening though, I sense he is starting to talk himself out of it. He thinks it's a gamble (which it is I suppose) and he likes his life up here (news to me, he's such a miserable bugger day to day ).
I think I want to go, but it's a long commute to talk him into and if he hated it, he would be permanently stuck with it.
Sorry very me me me.
Lol at dog crackers Lavita!
Oh ALL didn't see your message before posting mine. At happy land wedding set?!!! My sister had a very comical tirade about her Mil yesterday afternoon as she had presented DN with various offensive pink plastic items which sang Disney songs etc etc. Made me very smug as I'm usually the one ranting whereas this year mil got the girls Brio track and station, some nice clothes and a cheque for their savings so I definitely have nothing to complain about any more! Sounds as though your three got some lovely stuff which they are pleased with.
The dolls house has gone down very well here although they have had at least as much mileage out of a shopping basket full of
yet more fake food which has triggered HOURS of playing shops. Also have had endless rounds of playing Cinderella whereby I have to be the stepsisters ripping their dresses and then morph into godmother magicing them up new dresses and a coach. It's a tiring business!
House prices are good in Sheffield!!! www.primelocation.com/for-sale/details/26910691?search_identifier=a83731bc1d32c352c84a1d85d0662322
Ooooh, I got some 'chopping fruit' and a wooden birthday cake all velcroed together for them to chop & stick back together. That has gone down a treat too. Best pressie today has been their new undies. Both dancing round in circles totally nude except for a pair of underpants on their head singing 'skipping, skipping'. 'Course I got a video / photos . J was so taken with it all he went to bed with his underpants on his head. Unfortunately they came off at some point otherwise I'd have had a pic of that too .
Hmm, we reckon the wedding thing was a bit of a dig at us as we're not married. Or perhaps attempting to educate them on the proper way of doing things. I thought I was overthinking it but perhaps not? MIL was not impressed that W has a pink (more of a purple really) cup & kept trying to insist C should have it. We won that one (for now).... boys are quite territorial about their cups so W demanding his pink cup backed us up <evil>
Right I must get me to bed but ALL - also at the wedding set - what on earth did it comprise of?!
A brief Christmas debrief is that we had a lovely day at my brother's, all very kiddie focused but really relaxed and the girls got on very well with their cousin. Top hit gifts for us were a doctor's outfit, and loads of pirate stuff. They now have about 5 different wooden muffin/cupcake sets and are still getting loads of play value out of their kitchen/etc. Cerub - how did your kitchen go down with S&R?
Sorry to hear btw about the obvious favouritism towards S by your mother - what is that about do you think; and do you see it continuing? Very very annoying. I have that from my 'best' friend, who has favoured E very conspicuously from the start, saying she's "just like you C" and basically bestows nothing but compliments upon her, almost completely ignoring J. I can't stand it, but don't quite know how to address it without it all coming out wrong.
LVB - love the dog cracker story; love even more that you woke up having dreamt about it... your subconscious was being a super-sleuth!
rattling - sorry to hear about your crown too... here's to a painless and relatively cheap resolution of that particular issue!
tarti - I am chomping at the bit to get looking on RM for you (as is LVB obvs ) - if you don't like Derby, is Matlock or Belper too quiet for you? And as a matter of interest (I have no knowledge of the place) what is wrong with Derby? Keep us updated, I love a good old property/location search. You don't need Phil and Kirsty, you have US!
Right, off to bed. Finally. It's half past midnight. Not a good idea... <yawns>
I'm still up, watching " The Holiday" I know it's cheesy but I do love a god Romcom am loving a quiet house, even if I'll suffer in the morning, drinking port and eating cheese and biscuits
Yes I am very keen to help with the house search!
Have to say I feel sad about the favouritism too, I've had my dad here all week and he has not said a word, loves both girls equally, playing silly games with them but V is so much more affectionate, runs to him in the morning, wants to sit on the sofa next to him. On the other hand F wriggles out of anyone's clutches, says "yuck" to kisses, they are identical twins but are so different in that respect.
I often wonder, because F was the smaller twin I always went o her first, so maybe she feels more secure and is less needy than V, a probably over thinking it
Fgs I have just lost an immense post. Beyond annoyed. Will transfer to computer and try again when I've regained the will to live.
Will just say this bit now and then come back with my tedious relocation ramble later...
Lavita I have similar issues re. M who was teeny and could not breast feed - indeed was tube fed for the first ten days, which Dh more or less took care of, whislt R was bf and therefore got lots more close me-time. M is more difficult to settle when upset, more clingy, has much worse tantrums, is less extrovert. But it's impossible to know what is due to what and what is just personality - you could drive yourself mad. It does cross my mind often though
Hope you didn't have too sore a head this morning, I too am a fan of the shitty romcom.
I woudnt make a London dinner meet up for obvious reasons, but have just remembered we are coming down in Feb for a couple of nights (a Monday/Tuesday I think) - if anyone would fancy a coffee or lunch I'm sure I could abandon DH for a couple of hours (will be child free, woohoo!)
Gah! to disappearing posts Tarti - so annoying!!
Forgot to reply about the favourite thing - so awful Cerub. Will it be slightly easier to tackle with it being your Mum.... or does that just not work??! We had it slightly when the boys were tiny. W was such hard work that no-one wanted to hold him cos he just cried. J was such a laid back baby that people seemed to adore him. Made me so sad & think I overcompensated with W a lot. Luckily it all evened out a bit as they got older & I couldn't really identify any firm favs now. J is besotted with FIL so they seem extra close, but FIL doesn't favour him. W is always up for kisses/cuddles & tickles but J is firmly on his terms only. I can see potential issues with mil seemingly favouring dd but not as a person, just cos she's a girl . Probably easier to deal with due to the gender and different ages though.
The 'wedding set' is this : a horse / carriage that can be detached & carry a figure & includes: bride, groom, bridesmaid, vicar, photographer figures. Nothing actually 'wrong' with it & not really much different to the safari / best of Britain sets they bought the boys I guess but just the message....
nope, I've not been scouring RM in preparation for instruction from tarti
Favouritism is an odd one, I have mentioned it to her to let her know I had noticed it but she didn't seem to think it was a bad thing, and basically admitted it was because she has two daughters so girls are sort of a known quantity, but a grandson is more fun being different. The thing is that she already had two grandsons, so S is not a unique phenomenon - indeed R is unique as the only granddaughter! It's clear she loves R too, but in terms of who gets reached for to cuddle, sit on her lap, have one to one play, get given food etc it's all S.
I'll have to mention it and try to get her to agree it has to be toned down. I didn't want to raise it this time because things were already tetchy - she came down with a cold as I mentioned, and used it as an excuse for an unforgivable outburst at my Dad in front of wider family - told him to shut up and he was embarrassing himself by not letting anyone speak (which he was not guilty of). She is not the type to ever cause a scene at all, but by all accounts (I was out of the room when it happened), the room went quiet and it was horribly awkward. She must have something bugging her to behave like that so I need to get to the bottom of that and address the favouritism too.
Sorry for the stream of thought!
tarti I think mucky's advice and weighing up was excellent a few posts back. I think it sounds like a host of good reasons to do it. My question would be whether you could consider some other area to move to apart from Sheffield so the commute isn't quite so heavy for DH - it sounds an awful long one, and frankly I'd say you don't want it to be so uneven handed for who's nearest to nursery/school when it comes to any emergencies or even extracurricular stuff - the burden will all be yours if he's a couple of hours away when needed. Or would it be family helping out then?
mucky was the girls' cousin the one who's the prodigy according to her mum? Any nuggets of competitive parenting to share from Xmas?
The twins are being brilliant for us while we're off work - every day they wake about normal time (6.15 ish) but chatter happily until we haul ourselves out of bed to get them up. For the first time in absolutely ages we have managed to lie in until 7.45 without it all kicking off, which has been so nice. Finally a payoff for having two at once - I presume most singletons would get bored in their rooms alone but ours entertain each other until we go in! Oh, and the play kitchen is going down really well. They love it - also got stuff like some duplo and a doll's pushchair and it's all very popular.
What are everyone's NY plans? We're out with friends in London, sharing a babysitter and staying over so that should be good.
Happy New Year girls, we've survived another one
Here's to a bubbles-filled evening... and a meet up in 2013?
Happy New Year! What a wet one so far!
C had her first session at nursery today. Oh dear, it's going to be painful :-( She screamed for the whole hour she was there & they couldn't do anything with her. & 3 full days from next week. I thought it'd be easier after having done it with the boys but it's not. Other than being confident she'll get there in the end.
Have your girls been today lvb?
Happy New Year all. I might as well come straight out with it and say that it now looks as though we are getting divorced. I am, as you can imagine, in absolute bits.
A horrible few days and I'm all over the place. Sorry to be a downer
Oh fuck mucky I'm so sorry. Please come back when you feel up to it/fb us. Loads of love <totally inadequate> xxxxxx
Oh mucky, you poor love. That is just dreadful to hear! It feels totally out of the blue, I hardly know what to say. As tarti says, lean on us as much as you need, and you undoubtedly have an army of friends ready to support you in whatever ways you need. Rib-crushing hugs xx
Bugger Mucky..... I'm really sorry. Sounds horrendous, you poor thing. I'm sure you've talked yourselves round in circles already for you to be thinking it might happen. Do talk here or FB if it might help. ((that unmumsnetty hug thing))
Sorry Mucky big hugs from me xxx
Oh mucky I'm really sorry to hear that. I hadn't realised that things were so bad. You said that you and DH were having a rough patch, and I knew that things must be tough with him being out of work, but hadn't apppreciated how bad things must be between you. Big hugs and I hope we can help in some small way.
Was coming on to update about our car woes but they pale in significance to Muckys bad christmas. Basically our crappy Fiat people carrier which we were planning on replacing in January, broke down 15 miles into a 150 mile journey back from my parents at Christmas. It's going to cost more than the car is worth to repair, and since we were planning on selling it anyway there is no point in repairing it as we won't get our money back. So we are stuck with a broken car, which is 150miles away. Desperately need to buy a car which will fit all of us, but with a tiny budget
Otherwise Christmas was good. kids had a great time. I've completely overeaten and stood on the scales this morning Time for major diet.
DH is now back at work full time. Have yet to get into the swing of our childcare arrangements as the childminder doesn't officially start til next week, but the settling in sessions at the childminder are going well and have fingers crossed that they will all get used to it soon. There is a mad mixture of childminder, private nursery and nursery school (a bit like reception year in England, but only for 2.5hrs a day) It involves drop offs at 2 different places in the mornings, and 2 different pickups in the evenings. Nightmare. And it's costing us about £1700 a month. And that is with MIL doing some childcare for free too! A Nanny would probably be cheaper, but there isn't any available out in the sticks where we are, and we want the boys to have some nursery time as already we are seeing them benefit from interacting with other kids.
Hope all the rest of you are doing well. tarti, hope you and DH come to some compromise about DH's job offer. For what it's worth I think it sounds a great opportunity, but think Derby - Sheffield is too long a commute. Is there anywhere nice inbetween you could live? (I'm a bit clueless on where places actually are in England)
Bloody fiat. I feel your pain on that one chesti. Tho I shouldn't complain as touch wood ours is playing ball at the mo. Keep thinking we should sell while it's going ok but reluctant to because of the amount we've spent on it over the last year. Then when it breaks down again we'll be kicking ourselves. Hopefully it will be ok til after we get our kitchen done & we're settled into having my wages again. keeping up with your child care arrangements sounds like a job in itself!
Tree down here. Really need to get my work mode engaged before Monday. No excuse now..
God, the very idea of work next week ALL I hope it goes smoothly for you.
That is horrendous about the car Chesti. Never a better time for a modest lottery win... I'll see you right if I win big tomorrow. We have no spare cash whatsoever at the moment so I can imagine the horror.
Things still up in the air re. DH and the are we aren't we moving situation. Won't be resolved until end of January for various reasons, but either way we need to get this place on the market asap. Must contact agents next week. I have no idea what i'm doing as this place was our first and we bought it from our landlady so we really are clueless. And DH is taking a back seat as per.
<holds mucky's hand>
Just read your post properly Chesti, am stunned at your childcare arrangements and cost! It's so much to get your head around even when just dropping two of them at the same nursery a few days a week.
Think you are probably right about Sheffield to Derby being too far. Only problem with places in between is that DH grew up in a small town and didn't like it and says he doesn't want that for the girls. Whereas i was opposed to the idea initially but have cone round a bit. I think he could be persuaded if we hit on the right place.
Worrying about you mucky. Keep checking in when you can xxx
Anyone read the raising girls article in the ST style supplement today?
I also keep thinking about you Mucky. I hope you are doing ok. Divorce is a huge decision.
Things hectic here, but have managed to buy a new car. One thing less to stress about.
tarti the childcare costs are stomach churning! We are just in the unfortuately position of having 3 needing full time childcare. None of it is particularly outrageous (private nursery £40 per day per child childminder £3.50 per hour for 1st child £2.50 for siblings) but it all mounts up. But it's for long term gain. H will start school in Aug as well. ALL you must have similar costs? Good luck with starting back to work soon.
How's it going back at work ALL?
That's it - first `week` done. Feel like I'm on holiday tonight & so looking forward to a few days with the children. Work was OK
students less openly hostile by the end of a few lessons so that's a positive. Boys are loving full days in nursery. C is going to take some time to settle, but perhaps not as bad as I feared. She screamed all day Monday - so much that she lost her voice! Whinged all morning yesterday but apparently OK in the afternoon. Not so good today, but she'll get there.
Hmm... costs Chesti! Our nursery is pretty cheap as they go, but it all adds up. We're lucky in that we can both get some salary sacrifice / childcare vouchers and we've been saving them up so we can reduce our bills a bit from now until the boys' funding kicks in. I'm only working 3 days though - not sure it would be worth my while working more than that at the moment.
Mucky, I hope you're having great rl support & are working through your options. Still thinking of you ((()))
Just about to go and pick the girls from their first day at nursery! Wow... I hope there are no tears!
Mucky, thinking of you too, I'm always home if you feel like driving over for a cuppa x
How did it go lavita? And mor importantly did you have a nice child free morning?
Thanks Tarti We just left them too it, yesterday there were a few tears but less today, they seemed to enjoy themselves! Lots of painting, climbing, sandpits, music etc. How are your plans, with the possible move?
Yesterday I went to my friends house, for a chat but she has 2 under two, so it wasn't exactly child free!
Today was amazing, I went and sat in a cafe had a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea (classy!) relaxed, read my magazine, then went and had a shellac manicure, it was amazing
Next week I think I will be cleaning, and I need to do some work with my Stella & Dot, try and get busy and book in some shows! Cerub I am about to post you the new catalogue if anyone else wants a look - here is the link let me know what you like! I still haven't finished pick my samples but there is some lovely stuff!
Mucky How are you & the girls?
Kate where are you? Hope all is well
ALL is work still ok? How is C? Settling better?
Yes, how did the girls get on at nursery LVB? The first few sessions can be hard on everyone but once they get stuck in I'm sure they'll love it! How have you used your first couple of days of freedom?
I hadn't realised your return to work was coming up ALL (although if I'd thought about it obviously you couldn't put it off much longer). Did you enjoy putting on a different part of your personality again, or will it take time to get back in the swing of it? 10 months into my return to work, I have to say I love the balance of sometimes being mummy but sometimes being proper adult with a modicum of intelligent things to say. Hope C's voice has come back again, it doesn't sound like the smoothest of starts if she yelled that much but as with LVB sure she'll get there very quickly
once they've broken her spirit.
Have been thinking about mucky such a lot. Hope you are checking in and seeing our support, and you know where most of us are if you want a virtual chat (or a RL one with me or LVB). xx
How is the childcare routine bedding down chesti? It sounds like a logistical minefield to deal with all those elements, I'd need a spreadsheet for it! Is your DH enjoying full time work? How's the impact on you and home life? Glad you got the car situation resolved quickly at least, but the breakdown must have been an arse and financially, just post Christmas is such a bad time for that to happen! January is the longest month anyway, without having to buy a new set of wheels too.
So have you got estate agents crawling all over your place yet tarti? Any further progress on the big move decision?
We are all well here. In fact, although I hesitate to say it, the twins have been hale and hearty for positively weeks. It's such a contrast with this time last year, when I got tonsillitis and they had cold after cold, and I have to say I'm very appreciative! Now I've said that, what's the betting we all get norovirus?
We've had to contend with a new sleep issue with S, who suddenly and from out of nowhere started to kick up a huge fuss about getting into bed about 10 days ago. Our working theory was that it started on New Year's Day, when we were at friends' and all desperately hungover - he didn't settle at all for his lunchtime nap and cried all the way through, while awful awful mummy lay downstairs gibbering and not responding to his cries. Whether coincidentally or not, he was absolutely inconsolable about going into his cot thereafter and was also waking in the night begging to get out and crying his heart out. Awful! Have tried a bit of spaced soothing and lots of reassurance since and I think - touch wood - he might be back on track again now. But I will never ignore his wails again!
When they were in special care after they were born, we got signed up to a study into premature babies and brain development. This week we had to go to hospital for a developmental assessment session, to see how they've got on since then. It was a couple of hours of cognitive, language and physical tests (things like building towers out of blocks, doing jigsaws, naming objects in pictures, drawing, walking up and down stairs, jumping, etc) which they put up with pretty well, but got very fed up by the end. Anyway their scores were absolutely great, bang on track, and S actually got a very high score for language. He's such a chatterer now, I think we are up to sentences of 4 words at times, and it's lovely to hear that they are doing so well. When they're premature you find it hard not to wish they could catch up a bit with their peers but we're now at the point where we can really start to forget that they were ever early.
Kate, rattling, are you still there? Hope things are going well with you x
Obviously LVB and I crossed posts there, I won't make you repeat yourself!
Sounds like a lovely morning, good choice of activities...
Yey to meeting developmental milestones Cerub! Sounds like they're both doing fab. Very grateful not to have had the prem issue to deal with here.
Glad to hear your girls seem to be settling well Lavita. I did cringe after posting about C in case I'd made you anxious. Especially stupid after listening to my mum lay on the guilt trip to me last weekend. She's of the 'why have children if you don't want to look after them' brigade .
I was pleased to discover that, after not wearing earrings since the boys started grabbing for them, that I can still wear them so have been looking at new stuff. Simple & white gold (or silver)is my aim. Was looking at S&D & liking the Odette. Also love the Corso hoops but they look much chunkier than I first thought. Really liking getting dressed for work. Boys keep saying 'mummy you like a LADY' lol. Then J was quite tickled that I had my knees out, but confused as to why I'd painted them black. Can you tell they've not seen me out of my
one pair of jeans ?
Right.. back to planning. Trying to work out which nights should be work-free. Decided Thur/Fri given I'm master of procrastination anyway. But my usual way of working (leave to last min then work madly, up to deadline & completing in the nick of time) isn't really compatible with small children. Already have 1st illness of my return - W has been really off-colour all day, temp, sitting / sleeping on sofa, threw up (on me, of course) and asked to go to bed at 6.15 - a first! Poor sausage.
Sounds like everyone is having a hectic start to the new year with lots of changes afoot. We are getting on ok, but it is really hectic. I'm hoping that one we get into the new routine things will be a bit calmer, but at the moment it's mostly just running around (literally, I run from the door of my work to the car to save vital seconds )
On which note, I'm off to bed. Hope everyone is doing ok, and I'll try and read and write more next time I'm on.
Just a quick wave to you all and marking my place.
That does sounds hectic Chesti.
Nothing to report. Girls doing well although still having accidents on a fairly regular basis. Thought we would have this cracked by now - I long for the days of nappies! So much more predictable. Outings much easier etc.
We are off down to Sheffield this weekend to scout around a bit and for DH to go down to Derby next Monday to see what the drive is like and decide once and for all whether he actually wants the job. Then I will get this place on the market in the next couple of weeks as even if we are staying here, we need to be moved by the autumn really, for school admissions. (Am exactly the kind of tedious bore I used to swear I would never become).
ALL what days are you teaching? I fail to stick to set 'work nights' but I might try again as think it would help me feel less out of control... Let me know what you decide and whether it works.
Oh DH dislocated his shoulder at the weekend - the latest in a LOOOOOONG line of serious and not so serious rugby injuries. I think this means his "career" (smirk) is over, which is no bad thing as far as I'm concerned! Maybe my career of spending four hours every Saturday afternoon swanning around the shops can really take off now
Mucky How are you? Haven't seen you on FB either you don't need o give us the ins and puts, just keep in touch as we are thinking of you xx
Also wondering where Kate is??
Driving lesson again for me today, trying to keep on top of this house, and some work to do for me. Tarti I met a lovely girl from Derbyshire this weekend, she lives near Bakewell, is that in your search area?
Ooh yes very much so Lavita. Just waiting DH's verdict on Monday as to whether he actually wants this job and then I will be unleashing you on Rightmove.
Anyone seen Les Mis? I'm going to go tomorrow I think, if weather not too awful.
I've been on holiday to bakewell and it was lovely. Really lovely. Would be a great place to live.
mucky how you doing? Am a bit worried that you are so quiet. Kate am also hoping things are fine with you and that the girl.s are all fine.
Things here are fine, but h ( and probably d too) so are just trying to juggle work and childcare. Ugh.
Hi ladies - just checking in again, am so sorry that I keep not posting for weeks on end. NY's resolution is to keep up to date with you all.
Mucky Am so so sorry to hear your news, have got no idea how hard it must be for you but I hope you and the girls are doing okay. I really hope that soon, coming on here and just getting everything out, will help. So sorry that this is so late too
We're doing okay ladies, thank you for asking. We're having a bit of trouble with E again, but haven't really mentioned anything to anyone but family at the moment. Am on another forum type chat thing, but sometimes just feel like, unless someone asks, it seems I'm constantly whinging about things. I know that doesn't make any sense, but because E's illness is an ongoing type thing, I don't want people to think 'Oh great, she's updating us all again' - we all know those kind of mums and how truly nauseating they can be!
But anyway, apart from E we are all doing fine - really hoping for some snow tonight!
Hope everyone else is okay - will try and catch up
Aha, the glorious end to a sporting career. We had one of those! Shame cos i liked him to play but have zero sympathy for the endless injuries. Usually gained as a result of some stupid hero-like tackle that was
miles too ambitious.
I'm working Mon-Wed Tarti (& today...). My ideal would be to do all work Mon-Fri evenings (def not working while children are awake during day) and have weekend totally free but I know what I'm like & will just faff around & still end up working every night. So if I allow myself Thurs/Fri night off then net result is the same. Til illness strikes
plenty practice just now. I just need to be tough with myself I think! Been stressed enough this week cos had so much to do. Suddenly pressure is off a bit for next week so I'm having a wine /choc night!
Your childcare sounds mad*Chesti*! When does H start school - will that help or make things more nuts?
Good to 'see' you Kate & glad you're all mostly going ok. What's happening with E?
Enrolled on a dressmaking course last night - v excited! Tutor is so lovely. Have to choose a pattern/fabric to start making next week
Aha, the glorious end to a sporting career. We had one of those! Shame cos i liked him to play but have zero sympathy for the endless injuries. Usually gained as a result of some stupid hero-like tackle that was
miles too ambitious.
I'm working Mon-Wed Tarti (& today...). My ideal would be to do all work Mon-Fri evenings (def not working while children are awake during day) and have weekend totally free but I know what I'm like & will just faff around & still end up working every night. So if I allow myself Thurs/Fri night off then net result is the same. Til illness strikes
plenty practice just now. I just need to be tough with myself I think! Been stressed enough this week cos had so much to do. Suddenly pressure is off a bit for next week so I'm having a wine /choc night!
Your childcare sounds mad*Chesti*! When does H start school - will that help or make things more nuts?
Good to 'see' you Kate & glad you're all mostly going ok. What's happening with E?
Enrolled on a dressmaking course last night - v excited! Tutor is so lovely. Have to choose a pattern/fabric to start making next week
ALL Work sounds crazy - make sure you look after yourself if you're starting to get stressed out! Dressmaking course sounds wonderful!
Nothing majorly wrong with E, but we have managed to get blood levels stable in the mornings - have been around same figure for a few months, but now has started dipping and being lower in the morning again.
Some mornings she's had to miss pre-school and not go in until a bit later because she's so exhausted again. She's no way near how poorly she was last year, but we have definitely noticed a lack of energy in the past few weeks. We are hoping that consultant will just say that we need to increase the amount of feed at bed time.
P.s Am currently desperately trying to seek legal advice for a friend - if anyone can help then please let me know!
Sorry to hear that E's problems have flared up again Kate and I hope there's an easy fix when you see the consultant. Is that soon?
Feeling a bit fed up here and need a bit of a slap round the chops if you ladies can oblige. The twins have been well for ages (I think I dangerously said as much last time I posted) but have come down with colds and the dreaded conjunctivitis over the weekend. Both went to nursery yesterday but R got sent home after lunch so that was my working day done. Today is mandatory exclusion for her, and given that S was up coughing a lot during the night, I do suspect that I'm not going to be able to send him either.
So with tomorrow being my day off that is 3 days of trying to entertain poorly toddlers, and quite possibly not really being able to go anywhere because of snow and germs. Plus not getting any time to myself, nor obviously any opportunity to check in on work except when they're sleeping, which is normally my time to relax for a bit.
Please inspire me and reassure me - I find taking them out anywhere by myself so fraught and like herding cats that I only really take them to friends' houses or on a walk where there's no question of getting them out of the buggy. This bores me rigid or friends aren't always available, so are there any other options? LVB I seem to remember you having this problem ages ago.
Also, when they're up and about I just don't get ANY time to myself. If I go to the loo, they come. If I go in the kitchen for anything, they follow and start begging for food. Going anywhere else in the house means stairs and bloody ages to go up and down with their faffing, so essentially if I can't go out I spend 98% of the time in the sitting room and even then they are such dictators that I can't check work emails or make phone calls or anything because they require me to be personally involved in everything they do. Most of the time I love being so involved, but on days when I want or need to do anything else, it drives me crazy and makes me resentful.
Please ladies, any tips? Or even just tell me when yours started being a bit more flexible on all this?
I find that gin at about 9am helps <helpful>
I still have these problems to be fair, with this weather we are all still in bed, with cartoons on and Lego all over the floor. It is also one of the driving forces behind me learning to drive, as they want to walk everywhere, and try to throw themselves out of the buggy on occasion.
Sorry to put a downer on it, but I have found it harder and harder never quite sure if I am just a crap mum or I have particularly spirited children. They split them up at nursery already because they egg each other on and are much better on their own!
Cerub I'm not really sure what kind of places are around you, but find a wide open space (big field?), take some hot chocolate and off you go!
Either find a long walk that is buggy friendly so that you can stick them in there, (maybe put some music on quietly) and just walk, or a place that you don't have to take buggy so that they can have a super long walk and really tire themselves out.
We have a zoo near us and have an annual pass every year - we probably go more than once a week just for a walk. My girls barely even look at the animals any more, just run along - stop off at the parks and keep going.
The beach is another place that I let mine roam free - they take their scooters and there aren't any roads near so it's all pretty safe.
I think they all go through the stage where they want you to play with them - I find it helps to set something up for them (i.e. get all their cars/puzzles/train track out) play for a minute to start up a game, and then say that you just need to go and get something and that you'll be back in a minute. Leave it a few minutes and then go back and play, then say that you're just going to put some washing on - be a little bit longer. A little bit like CC I guess, leaving it longer each time so that they get used to playing on their own. I often play with mine, and really love it, but at the same time sometimes I need them to play on their own. Is good for their imagination too
Sorry they've been poorly again Do they often get poorly over winter? Mine have done quite well this year, but touching wood as sods law they will come down with something tomorrow!
Have you tried Minadex with your 2? You can get it from boots etc, and is just a multivitamin that they can take after they've been poorly (to give them appetite etc) or over winter periods to make sure their immune system is still high. My DNephew was always getting ear/chest/throat infections over winter and she swears by it.
Sorry Kate, dp & I often lament our lack of any 'useful' skills despite being supposedly well educated. I know nothing about / of legal stuff. I hope E's consultant can improve things for her - do you see them soon?
Cerub. Hmm. We still have (lots) of time like you describe. It has got easier with time though. Can't really say when because I didn't realise it had until we took the step backwards into the super-clingy phase with c. I'm lucky in that the boys are happy to hold my hand when out - bit too much at times - so walking is generally ok! We also have zoo & safari park annual passes & it's fab to just pop there for a quick lap of safari on a tough day, or a walk round the zoo knowing there's no traffic to worry about. Our museums have activity areas for the little ones too so we can pop there, tho i'd use the bus then. Or just a wander around the supermarket.
Still settling c into nursery. Her turn to be under weather a bit this week so they've had a bit of a time with her. She's not eating while there. she prefers to feed herself but sounds like they keep trying to spoon feed her. Yesterday she was ok til they tried doing activities.... Then she 'flipped out'. So I think they let her sleep lots cos she was hyper last night & didn't really settle til we went to bed. She also had a meltdown when all the other babies had bottles of milk - she's never had a bottle but even at home gets annoyed if she can't be the same as the boys. Certainly knows what she wants! Think they were glad to see the back of our lot yesterday cos j bit w too so they ended up separating them. Tho today I've been told w has moved to the pre-school room permanently cos he's ready. Not sure how I feel about that. I suspect it's cos they need to make room further down the age range...
Hello girls - sorry for being so AWOL. I've not quite known what to say..
SO I've decided not to talk about me, but to talk about everyone else
Cerub - I feel (felt) your pain! It does get better I promise. We too did lots of zoo trips etc about a year ago. I have to say that about 6 months ago, the girls almost overnight got into the magical "imaginative play". Which means give them a couple of props and each other, and they're good to go for half an hour at least. Even now though, I have to own up to
having very low standards being pretty crap - I try to play with them for a bit and then plug them into the TV when I want to get something done. Even now, I don't think it's "fair" for me to expect not to be disturbed if they are playing and not want me to be involved at all. Our daily routine (I know we're a year ahead so may not be relevant!) is to go out in the morning/lunch time and then come back at about 3pm and let them watch a Winnie the Pooh /etc for an hour - that is the only chance I get to get things done. Thinking about it - S&R are still having a lunchtime nap? - I do remember this being particularly hard because although - yes, you get that break - you feel as though your mornings and afternoons are 'tight' and no sooner do they start if you want to get out of the house, than it's game over because they start to get grumpy/tired.
tarti - how did your test weekend go?? We demand a full breakdown!
Kate - lovely to hear from you. And have I read correctly on other threads about you TTC!? You are an inspiration.
Hello to everyone else. To everyone who has messaged me on FB or here, thank you so much. I really appreciate it, and wish I were on better form...
Ha! You caught me out there mucky! We are not officially 'trying to conceive' - but I have come off the pill, so if something is meant to happen then it will.
To be quite honest, I don't have the time to TTC - I cannot be bothered with having sex on the right days, dreading my period coming, taking ovulation tests etc etc etc. I know that with DD1 we tried for ages and stressed out about it all etc, then went on holiday for 2/3 weeks and promised to not think about it and just relax - low and behold, I was pregnant! Haven't really told many people as I also cannot be bothered with the 'are you pregnant yet?' comments! Sorry, I'm so boring!
FWIW, I'm with mucky on the daytime routine - we either do mornings and lunch out (whether is out or just picnic) or lunch and afternoons out, and then just chilling out for the day that is left. If they've been outdoors running around for hours, then I don't blame them for wanting to vegetate in front of the TV!
Just a quickie as I once again lost a long post last night and cba with same again tonight... But Cerub, god that could have been me writing your lament, although it is marginally better now I think (mine are 6m older I think). I do exactly what Kate described, setting them up with an activity and making them think I'm playing too but sneaking off for increasing stretches.
It is very very trying for someone exceptionally selfish like myself. I genuinely feel I am entitled as a basic human right, to have half an hour minimum to get ready in peace in the morning and to have at least some bloody time to myself during the day. DH thinks I'm a monster.
Mucky <blows kiss>
Weekend was good apart from getting snowed in. Final decision to be made by Tuesday... X
Oh did I mention mine have had chicken pox this week... Happy days!
Apologies for being AWOL too, I've been completely distracted this week organising H's 5th birthday party. 34 x 4-5 year olds. Was great at the party and all the kids had a fab time, but the preparations and clear up has been a massive amount of work!
Good to have you back mucky
Cheating that sounds seriously exhausting! How on earth did you entertain them all?! Bet she loved it.
Well I think DH is going to accept the job in Derby, which means a move to Sheffield, hopefully in the Spring. Haven't told anyone irl yet <wibble>.
Bit unsure as to what we could get mortgage wise as we would initially be down to one salary (and a new job too which I know they don't like) so we might have to rent for a while and get better terms in a year or so... God it's all so complicated
Congrats Tarti , come on then, budget and area search, let us loose on right move , do you have to tell the mortgage company the truth can't you say you are staying with relatives/commuting until you find a new job? <dishonest>
I have my dad up this week which is fun, he is a giant kid himself, spent half an hour earlier pretending to be a monkey
We have booked a family visit to Italy over Valentines, think it's about time we organised getting married! Just wish we'd done it years ago pre children, all seems like a lot of work now
am tempted to run off on a family holiday to Hawaii and do it there and not invite anyone
Chesti 34 small children sounds brilliant!
Kate what if you get Dtrips again??? I am convinced if we ever try again I'll have triplet boys. You have a big house though don't you? And you always sound a lot more calm, patient and organised than me exciting!
I did the come off the pill and see what happens, 6 weeks later I was pregnant with twins!
Mucky How are things? The girls are looking so cute on FB! What happened with your thoughts on becoming an estate agent? Is the route back into TV, too inflexible. Difficult hours etc?
Last question - how do you wash paint out of children's clothes? The girls have only been at nursery 3 weeks
blissful 6hours and their smocks are super stained
LVB - re. paint out of clothes, I have to say the stuff they used at the girls' first nursery was a nightmare and basically it got to the point where I'd send them in wearing stuff I really really really didn't care about. They looked like complete urchins. At the new place we've never had an issue with anything staining, so maybe it's all about what they're using? It used to drive me MAD that their clothes would be ruined like that...
tarti - that is indeed great news! You must be in shock
As for me, well, things are a bit calmer and the anger (on both sides) seems to have eased into sadness at what feels like an inevitable separation. We were meant to go to mediation this morning for our first appointment but we've postponed it and H is having a couple of days away to give us all some space. It is very hard work keeping things going, while dealing with all the emotions, and not letting it spill over with the girls. When I stop and think about it all in relation to them I get unbelievably depressed and sad <welling up now>. Both H and I are
co-dependent extremely bad at ending relationships and find it all very painful, even if it's for the best. Obviously a lot is at stake, and the issue of what happens to the house (I want to stay living in it; he wants to sell) and the children (I want them to live with me with flexible and frequent contact with him; he wants 50 50 residency) are the main issues which could flare up and cause animosity between us. To say the least.
I hired a hall and a boucey castle for H's birthday. I wasn't mad enough to have that number of kids round to the house . Winter birthday's are the pits, more than about 5 kids (our house is tiny) you can't have round to the house cause you can't use the garden or anything. Hence the boys were born in May, got the timing right the 2nd time round
Cerubina, how are you getting on with getting out and about? When I was at home more with the kids (opposed to working every waking hour which I seem to be doing at the moment ) I used to go to tots groups. I know they can be really daunting at first, but I've now made some good friends, and they are generally safe places to take 2 toddlers.
Kate, hope everyting is going well with all your girls, but especially the two with health problems. How is your older girl (sorry can't remember her initial) getting on with her body cast? And how about E, have she any more energy? Is there anything alternative treatment apart from the stent they could try? Sorry, I know so little about her condition, but hope the consultants come up with some ideas soon. Do you have confidence in them? I got one well with the J's consultant for his cleft, but don't have so much faith in the hearing consultants.
Tarti Exciting about the move. For what it's worth it sounds like a good decision.
Mucky Sorry to hear things are stressful and upsetting. Don't really knwo what to advise. But keep giving the girls big hugs. How is DH's job hunting going? I know it's not the main problem, but if there was less financial worries it would help while you get through this transition.
LVB, No idea about the paint. When H was at nursery her clothes were always trashed with "water soluble paint" which never came out Fortunately the boys nursery seems to be more careful.
Lavita I'm not sure what the consequences of lying would be but I may look into it!
Thank you Chesti that is good to hear. I am a bit wobbly about it especially if we can't get a decent enough mortgage, although we could rent for a bit I suppose. Having our place valued at the weekend, will try and speak to our bank and a broker next week, then I should have a better idea of a budget!
Lavita re. Paint- I have given up and just send them in supermarket clothes or hand me downs. I was thinking the other day though that it seems to be getting a bit better of late, I think as they are getting a bit older they're being slightly more careful
doesn't stop them shitting their pants of course
Mucky, so good to have you back. It is so awfully sad of course. I hope you manage to sort the best case scenario for living arrangements. There has to be a chance if you can keep talking. i can't possibly imagine the strain of having to hold yourself together for the girls. Was reading a thread about best advice you've ever had and one of the quotes that stayed with me was 'If you're going through hell, keep going'. Much much love to you xxx
Wow, Chesti, go you!! Imagine the fun you'll have if your boys end up in different classes & need to invite everyone!
No idea about paint Lavita. Our boys have always been freakily clean at nursery. They'd arrive there in a worse state than they come home at times . I did wonder if they ever actually did stuff with them. They do, but no idea how they keep them so clean. Other people send multiple clean sets of clothes but ours have never needed them prior to toilet training. Nursery girls were mortified last week when C covered herself in pasta sauce!
Good luck with your plans for the move Tarti! Must admit I feel slightly sick at the thought of being in your position of having to make the move. It does sound like it might be good all round though. Will have to try & see you in Feb when we're up otherwise you'll be gorn .
& in your position too of course mucky. I hope you & H are able to maintain an amiable relationship for all of you .
Things here ticking over. MInor battle in the war won tonight in getting C to sleep in her cot rather than transferriing her once asleep. Huge fuss, but a first. Had a bit of a week with her / sleeping cos she's under the weather / teething again & of course it's coincided with stressy stuff at work I've needed to plan for / work around. Still, my weekend has begun so I can forget it all for now.
W had an epic meltdown last night. Poor thing, it was funny to watch too. All because dp wouldn't let him open the car door
cos he can't reach when strapped into his carseat. 90 mins of weeping & wailing then he took himself off to bed, calmed down then was totally fine & came down for cold dinner <shrugs>
& good luck Kate! Our `see what happens' approach had spectacular failure followed by spectacular success so hope for something in between for you! If I were a bit younger I'd be tempted too...
Thanks chesti - Isla is getting on really well and ended up having her cast off early! She's now got a Boston brace that can be taken off; it has 3 big velcro straps on the back and she even got to pick a pattern for the whole brace! It has amazing memory foam padding around her hips (which are quite prominent as she is only a diddy thing!) and also around her ribs (for the same reason). She's got to wear it for 23 hrs a day and has done brilliantly so far - no whinging at all. this is like I's brace - this shows the back of it. And I's is pink with tiny bunnies all over it!
Onto E - I told you all about the different consultant we saw before she was admitted? That was the 'last chance' before we took her to see someone privately because the previous consultant was the one who saw Emme deteriorating and just wasn't that bothered. He had absolutely no idea what was wrong and just suggested that we fed her more?! Anyway as it was, the new consultant was amazing and he got the real ball rolling. Only problem is that the brilliant 'new' consultant is quite old and has told us how is going to be retiring in the near future.. I am not letting E go back to the old consultant, and we cannot afford to let her fall behind again. I feel like we need to be pro-active and be on top of things before the new consultant retires and we are lumbered with this useless guy. We've been thinking about looking privately for a consultant - essentially we need to see someone more often anyway and the good consultant has already agreed that she needs to be seen more often but that he can't offer that as NHS is so busy. Have suggested it to some other mums who have just said that we are likely to get the same consultant, but we were more planning to see a few different consultants and see what we think? We are just a bit
very worried with the long term side affects of hypoglycaemia; especially as she has started to go downhill again lately. Not particularly bad or anything significant, but I think I mentioned that she hasn't been 'right'.
Sorry that this has been a total 'me me me' post, we've just visited Dr Google and freaked out a bit.
Lavita re. the paint - do yours have Pre-school/nursery polo shirts? My girls do and I just put them in that (with an old long sleever underneath) and a pair of cheapy leggings. I will never ever put my girls in anything nice for pre-school - I know that ours has a huge problem with parents putting DC in designer clothes and then going mental because of stains. I have a few friends who have passed us on some hand-me-downs - often there are some very strange pieces, so mine often end up in very weird outfits!!
Ah that's really good news about I coming out of the cast early, Kate. She sounds like such a superstar for the way she deals with what must be uncomfortable things to wear so much of the time. Glad to hear you have more pro-activity from the consultant too; did you mention his colleague's lack of action and if so what did he say? Was he able to suggest any other peers in that specialism that he would recommend? Such a worry for you - I truly can't believe you have the energy for another child but you are amazing managing five, clearly made to be a mum!
Good to see you back mucky and to read that relations are a little less fraught, but like others said it really must be exhausting to process all that change and uncertainty with young children to maintain normality for as well. I echo the sentiment that I hope time is helping to make the way forward clearer and less painful to contemplate.
Planning a wedding sounds like fun to me, LVB, although when I did it it was certainly beneficial not to have toddler twins and to be doing it in the same country where we lived, so you have some challenges there. Will the in laws help research things, or would that be a mixed blessing? Which part of Italy will it be? Also no idea on paint removal, we have some splashes on clothes that don't seem to shift but I just relegate those clothes to nursery-only and try not to put them in stuff I care about. They're moving up to the toddler room soon where polo shirts are required uniform so I suppose the shirts will just get gradually grottier.
Also applauding your bravery in doing such a big party chesti. Does that mean H gets 34 reciprocal party invitations this year?! It'll cost you another fortune in birthday presents!
Exciting times tarti. It sounded to me as though this was a really good opportunity for your family, and I hope you get the finances and your own work situation clarified so you can get cracking on the lovely nosing round other people's houses...
Thanks for all chipping in with ideas about dealing with my
urchins two. I feel like such a wimp for being indecisive and playing it safe on activities, I think it will probably help when the ground isn't quite so saturated so going outdoors is easier, and they get a bit more gung ho about playgrounds/soft play as they're quite timid about what they will try at the moment. But this is classic excuse-making by me, even now, and always feeling that "it'll be fine when..." means you never appreciate what they can already do! Argh.
Anyway, they're still driving me potty at times. The last two Wednesdays, there has not been a jot of lunchtime nap taken, meaning that there's more tiredness and no break which tends not to be a great combination. They are not ready to drop lunchtime naps, being 23 months, so I suppose I need to find the right time to try it and not do so before they're tired
even though I'm bloody knackered by 10.30 .
And the boundary-testing..! I think my head would fall off in surprise right now if either of them put their coat on/shoes on/went upstairs/came downstairs/got into the buggy/laid down for a nappy change/bla bla the first time of asking rather than the 10th. It's so bloody wearing when every single activity all day long has to be negotiated x2 with intransigent little irrational people, especially when every individual thing is so bloody mundane but essential! (I'm well aware I'm starting to go on a bit now, and preaching to the converted, and indeed preaching to people who deal with it far more days a week than I have to...sorry).
I'm actually considering whether it would be better all round if I reverted to full time work and dropped the day off, since I do so little of value with them and find it tiring. The ideal would probably be them being full time at nursery and me still having a day off - but that might be difficult to fly financially! I haven't mentioned it to DH yet but need to figure out whether it would just be an avoidance tactic by me that I ought to front up to, as well as whether I would regret it later if they suddenly became easy to manage
yeah right and whether full time work would be as enjoyable as knowing I'm never more than 2 days away from a day off as currently. Maybe I'd be swapping one draining day for another. And maybe I should STFU about essentially a pretty privileged set of problems.
Don't worry about moaning about it Cerub, I certainly have my moments
like, every single day
I think the age S&R is at is hard. Last winter the girls were approaching two, so walking well but still falling over a lot and so going anywhere in winter meant massive mess. I bought them a pair of Spotty Otter fleece/waterproof suits which at least made getting ready to go outside in it a bit easier. But it just wasn't fun in the way that such things can be now, when you're not going WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH every time they go near a giant puddle which they might fall face first into, etc etc. (Or is that just me? )
I totally sympathise with wanting a day off with no kids and no work, I get some time like that and really really appreciate it. I also wonder whether knowing you have that one day means you place higher expectations on it than I would, knowing I have three of them. I'm trying to feel better about them just knocking around at home while I get things done, rather than feeling I constantly have to entertain them... which can into something of a rod for one's own back, I worry.
Right, off to bed soon. Have enjoyed some time to myself these past couple of evenings.
Cerub, I'd keep your day 'off' but is there a possibility of putting them in nursery just for an afternoon on that day maybe once every two or three weeks? I was talking to my mum about never getting any time to do anything in the house or just me time, and she suggested this, which had occurred to me before but her saying it made it seem more justifiable to me.
I mean justifiable in terms of cost, believe me I would have no trouble justifying to myself the idea of them being in nursery full time whilst I reclined on sofa eating peeled grapes if we could but afford it
Kate, as the others have said, I'm in awe of your talents (and, frankly, your enthusiasm) as a mother. And your lovely girls I and E with all life has thrown at them recently. I was telling someone about you the other day, realised halfway through I was not going to be able to explain where I knew you from... I think I got away with it!
Sadly our nursery is a bit inflexible on that score tarti and it has to be a regular, unwavering commitment each week so I don't think we could do that...my other thought has been to switch my day off from a frankly desert-like Wednesday to one when more people are around (subject to the nursery having room for them on Weds). It's really the lack of many things on or friends who are also off work on Weds that means I get a bit lonely/stuck in a rut. Shame though as actually Weds off is nice in terms of breaking up the working week.
It is a dilemma Cerub. They do change so much at the moment though so you might find them easier in the not too distant future, even if it does seem highly unlikely at the moment, but a bit of a risk if you're not going to enjoy it in the meantime.
I was its thinking today about how true it was when people say 'this too shall pass' but it doesn't feel that way. All of the sleep probs we had with the boys seem a lifetime away now & there were times I thought they would never sleep through. Yet we've had a year now where they've done just that. We've made the giant leap of getting c off to sleep in her cot this week & it seriously feels life changing. It was never an issue that she didn't as we accepted we would get to that point at some time, but lovely to know she's going over quickly in her bed
3 nights in, fingers crossed
Sorry, that was vaguely relevant in my head, but not really v helpful to you....
cerub What about having an afternoon commitment for just one twin each week? It would be a break in itself just having one and being able to go swimming or on a bike ride? I know someone with twins who does this to get some solo time with each twin
I still find my two hard work at 2.3 months, mine are gregarious, bossy, and both run in different directions, climb large objects etc within seconds of getting anywhere! I am grateful they have started nursery as I hate taking them anywhere on my own as I just can't keep on top of them
All my friends come here, which I feel guilty about. G only works 4 main days though so we just try to do things as a family on weekends and Wednesdays, I am looking forward to passing my driving test and Summer to try and get out more. Am maybe thinking I should properly give reins a go but they have humongous meltdowns and it is so tough with 2.
In our local paper there was a story of a lifeboat saving a woman and her daughter near us as the 2 year old had fallen in and she jumped in after. Another of my fears living so close to the river and the added worry that if you jumped in after one, and no one was about would the other be ok???.
over active imagination/fears
Although we ha a hilarious morning again in Richmond park, we got about 5 meters in, giant puddle a la Peppa pig appears which they refuse to get out of. Lots of mud, splashing, dirty clothes, then F fell over, thankfully not face first. But I hadn't brought spare clothes and they were just in Wellies and normal clothes. Straight home, meltdown and bath, and breath!
Wine here hope that's a coherent post!
Lavita my absolute favourite thing is going round to friends' houses with the girls - none of the stress of trying to keep them calm in a cafe or whatever and you can actually have a proper chat - so I wouldn't feel guilty about having people over, I bet they all love you for it! I'm finding outings are suddenly, FINALLY, getting easier, so there is light at the end of the tunnel (providing they're not tired/hungry/don't poo their pants etc etc...). But being able to drive will solve a lot of your probs by the sound of it; if nothing else you will have the option of just strapping them in and driving round in circles until they fall asleep or you regain composure, whichever happens first!
Come on ladies, let's throw some posts at this thread!
How is everyone? Things going a fair bit better with me, the stupid irrational refusals to do things continue unabated but I'm not finding them so hard to deal with. I've had to do a couple of weekends of solo parenting as DH's dad is in hospital and he's been visiting him, so I've had to just get on with it. Mostly without losing my
I've purchased a second hand side-by-side buggy this week to complement our iCandy and it seems decent, hopefully will be good for days out when we want to avoid either of them getting impatient with restricted views. LVB, have you gone c
Whoops! Fat fingered idiot pressed submit too soon. Was asking LVB if you've gone cold turkey after selling the iCandy or do you have something else that works better for you now?
Apart from that, we're trying to do a bit of holiday research - hotel with crèche, somewhere not too far but abroad to get some decent sun and good attractions. Any recs most welcome.
Took the sides off the cots last night. Seemed to work OK. They have huge bed guards for the sides so when they are up it's not that different to the cot! But feel it's another step away from them being babies the next step is potty training. Both boys seem completely oblivious to any body functions, so I'm not sure how ready for it they are, but they are 3 in may and start preschool in Aug so we have to be out of nappies by then. I've got a week off at the start of April with no plans so I think we'll build up to going cold turkey then. Actually the next step is to remove dummy/comfort muslin. D is not too bad with his dummy, but j is getting ridiculous wandering around sucking on the corner of an ancient grubby muslin cloth. Ugh.
What happens if they're in nappies when it comes to preschool Chesti? Do they just not let them in til thye've mastered it? Seems they 'get it' v quickly when they are ready so on the one hand it's not worth stressing over but then if you have a deadline.... Hopefully they'll have their epiphany before April & your job will be an easy one
We're having a busy time here. Building work starting end of this week so madly packing up the house. I'm shipping us out to my parent's for half term & dp will suffer here. Bit of a prob when I rang one company last week to confirm final details to discover we're not on their job list. Luckily our builder can do it all. Works out better really, but I was ready to cry at the time. Can't wait for it to be done.
Started going to a new playgroup close to home. it's great because i'm finally meeting people living in our street! Funny last week when i got talking to a mum & we worked out that her ds is the person j calls his 'breast friend' at nursery. yet the two hadn't interacted once at playgroup, despite sitting next to one another at snack time. it was only when we worked out they must go to the same nursery that they admitted knowing one another at all and that was under intense questioning.
C finally seems to be settling into nursery. One of the nursery girls was made up that she had bonded with c one afternoon. She's also eaten lunch this week (probably helps with her mood if she's not starving...), cried little during the day and didn't dissolve the minute she saw me.
To be honest ALL I'm not sure what happens if they are still in nappies when they start preschool. It's 6 months away so hopefully it won't be a problem. There is a little girl in H's class who is still in nappies but she has an assistant as she has additional needs, so the assistant who deals with the nappies. The 'teachers' are a mixture of primary teachers and nursery nurses. It's only 2.5 hours so if they were in nappies they will probably be fine. It's if they wet themselves a lot then I'm sure the staff will get cheeses off pretty quickly. H was such a dream to train. One week ans she was dry day and night. But it was sheer luck, I've no idea how to repeat it.
Glad c is getting happier at nursery. Hope the building work goes well.
cerubina no recommendations I'm afraid. Not been abroad with the kids. We have a week in a residential caravan in Northumberland in may so am very envious of your plans to get some sun.
Now then Chesti, no faces at Northumberland thank you!
I'd suggest we meet up when you're here in May but we may well not be here by then... <freaks out>.
ALL really glad things are settling down nursery wise.
House going on market next week, I can't think beyond that really but if we get some interest we can start to make plans for a move southwards!
Off to London for 2 nights with DH next weekend, it's a year since we had a night child free so really looking forward to it. I know some people never get this luxury so we are v lucky, we never get to go out or anything just the two of us though due to lack of babysitters, so are long overdue a bit of 'us time' if that doesn't sound too wanky. So easy to be snappy and indulge in competitive tiredness etc during the daily drudge!
Yes, 6 months is ages in their little lives but seems so near so always a worry I guess.
We've not done flying yet either. Booked up to camp in Scarborough (i think?) for a week in July this year & will prob do some other camping trips too but then we're happy enough with that. Northumberland is def cool too tho .
I'm coming up with the children on Friday tarti. I know you're away but we'll probably be there til at least the following Friday if you're around? Staying with my parents so we'll be up for a bit of respite ....
Sorry tarti It's not the Northumberland bit I'm about it's the caravan site . We went last year to Eyemouth and it was great. The kids loved it. This year we are a bit further south, quite near Newcastle and the site is a lot bigger with pool and probably loads of slot machines. Would love to go abroad, but we've decided it would just be a lot of hard work (the kids don't even have passports) so are waiting til the kids are older. I could do with the sun though. Suspect I'll have a week of haar in Newcastle!
Am very jealous of your kidfree weekend in London. Hope you have a fabby time
Unfortunately and very upsettingly I am joining mucky as a single parent it seems. My husband is leaving me.
Oh no Cerub how devastating. I'm so sorry, will check back in properly when kids are in bed. Xxx
Oh no cerubina. I'm so sorry to hear that. Has it been on the cards, out has it come as a complete shock? Big hugs to you an mucky during this tough time.
Oh Cerub! I'm so sorry. Once again that feels inadequate but know I'm thinking of you (& you too mucky). X
Oh Cherub Haven't been on for a few days and really was not expecting to come on to read this; am so so sorry for you all
Came on to whinge about all my petty shit, and it seems so lame and inadequate now.
Am now promising to be on here more to, hopefully, be able to listen to you and Mucky more. Really hope that we can all support you through this.
Sending seriously big hugs, and also extra large glass of
If you get the chance, please let us know how you're getting on. x
Thank you all. It has been a horrible shock but not completely out of nowhere as last year I discovered he'd been having an affair. I don't know if you recall me being signed off work for a month - it was then. We were trying to work it out (or I was) but he has changed his mind and so they are leaving their families (both of them) and going off together. Utter, utter madness. I can't believe my beautiful children have to have this happen to them.
And Kate, whinge away. Goodness knows you have enough on your plate anyway, there's no competition as to whose posts are weighty enough! We shall all need some lighter moments anyway. x
Oh goodness Cerub that's so shitty Sorry, but what a knob - both of them. I know it's horrible that your gorgeous DC's have to go through this, but please don't blame yourself for this - this isn't your fault, and your DC's are lucky to have such a lovely lovely mother.
How is everything going? Are you and DC's still at home?
Sorry, when I said that I had some 'crap to vent about and that it seemed inadequate now', I didn't mean that to sound like that - like a competition or anything like that. I just meant that it puts things into perspective, and that there are much more important things.
Am still thinking of you all x
How awful Cerub. Your lovely DC will be fine, I promise. But so sorry that you're being put through this. You always have such wise words for everyone else, I wish I could reciprocate - but at least know we are all thinking of you and sending love from all our various corners xxx
oh cerub, poor you . I hope you've got plenty rl support to help you wade through the crap too.
what's happening with you Kate
we've made it to my parents'. Building work starting Mon so Dp has come too & will go back sun to finish packing / supervise....
What a horrible situation cerub. Just take pleasure in your kids, stay strong for them.
Kate, hope you are doing OK too.
Oh ALL I meant to say, would love to meet up if it turns out to be possible - we're away sun-tues and I have a wedding on Friday. Maybe weds? Or sat if you're still up here then? See how your week shapes up and keep me posted
Assuming there's a marked improvement in sleeping after last night's performance / no one kills anyone in the meantime, i reckon we'll be here til next Sun Tarti. No plans really (other than to Get Out) so I'm making it known I may have other plans on wed...
Have a lovely weekend in London!
Just back from Italy and we all have horrible stinking, chesty flu
Cerub So sorry to hear that, hope you have some good friends and family to lean on what an utter arse, so does the OW have children too? What an awful situation. <<big hugs & & >>
In regards to the pram conversation. We got a second hand pram from a friend £40 as an interim measure whilst we keep looking but there just doesn't seem to be the right product on the market.
It's a Graco but it's tough to push and it's manouvrability (sp!) is awful. Let me know if you spy anything that looks good.
I have another driving test next week, and am not feeling confident
Also really want to start working again but DP is just not on side about it all. Think I am going to test the water with an old boss and see if he would let me do a couple of nights a week hmmmm.....
Hi, I hope you don't mind me gate crashing but I just wanted I send a message to Londonlottie who I think is ladymuckbeth (I hope I'm right!)?
It's Gillydaffodil here, I hope you remember me from the TTC forever threads many years ago and also meeting up when you got your BFP with your girls before going to Switzerland. You also sent me a lovely message on Fertility friends when I had my second mc. I just wanted to let you know that I am 12 wks pg with twins!!! We still cannot believe it and feel very blessed.
I have read back a bit and know that you are going through some tough stuff at the moment, I hope things work out and that you can find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Love Gill x
LVB Pram conversation?!?! Update me! Buggies/Prams are my favourite topic!!
My vent really isn't very exciting - but will still write a whole essay about it, I'm sure!
So, went over to a friends house for a catch up as she's recently had a new baby - she said that evenings were best for her as baby is normally awake, and is obviously good for us too. Parked on main road where her house is and all was fine.
Heard a huge crash outside and so looked out window - some complete drunk had smashed into the back of my car!! Was so drunk that he couldn't even get out of his car. Was only the start of the problems - because we imported my car from America, obviously no UK garage has any bits to mend it with. All very lame now, but it was just a total arse trying to get a garage to ship bits over, and then a garage here to fix it. At the time it was seriously annoying, but like I said, definitely feels inadequate now!
Half term with the girls was a bit hard as we had bad weather - just a bit snowy, then torrential rain etc.. and we are definitely not inside people! The girls just go stir crazy if they stay in. On one day it was still torrentially raining but we just needed to go out - got all the waterproof stuff out, went to the park and just told the girls to do whatever! All fun at the time, but then when we got home they were running in out of the rain, all muddy boots etc etc. Takes soooo long peeling soaking wet clothes off 5 small girls!
Cornwall Congratulations on the news of your DT's!! Sounds like you've been through a bit of a rough time, but really glad to hear that you've come through it now - and whats more, with twins! Hope that mucky comes back on to talk to you soon.
Kate I just need a toddler version of the I candy really, love, love, loved that pram but the girls outgrew it. We have a very narrow hallway (Victorian terrace) so I need a slim pram but can seem to find a toddler version that is easy to push. Any ideas?
Cornwall Congratulations! I am a Cornish girl myself good luck for the weeks/months/years ahead, twins are brilliant, despite my complaining
Cornwall - I was on the temping threads with you and Lottie way back. It felt like an eternity when I was trying to get pregnant, but as my boys will be 4 in 3 months I can't imagine how you have managed to keep going! Hope you have an agreeable pregnancy, I'm so excited for you. I found the first 3 years a bit trying (though I always expected to struggle with the baby/toddler years), but listening to them this morning having a ridiculously coherent yet nonsensical conversation about what characters they were creating and the wild adventures they were planning was a joy!!
Mucky/Cerub - so sorry things are so difficult for you just now. I find it a bit scary to hear as my relationship is nowhere near the rock solid place it once was (in the 10 years pre-children). I hope you are managing to work this out as amicably as possible between you.
Mostly we are just focussing on our ongoing failure to sell our flat. Loads of viewings (ie tidying and trying to get rid of children) but no interest. I'm going to do another big clean up then we'll drop the price and see how that goes. Not much to buy either at the moment, so perhaps we shouldn't be in too much of a rush.
Thank you all for your lovely messages.
Yes Rattling, your name has just clicked! It has been 7yrs TTC with 3 mc and one bio chemical pg. These babies are a result of our 7th cycle of IVF, this time abroad and with donor eggs and sperm. It has been very very hard sometimes especially seeing people start and complete their families in the time that we couldn't even get off the starting blocks but we persevered and, hopefully, we have got here!
LaVita, I love Cornwall but I'm afraid I'm not from there, it's my street name in London
LVB I know what you mean - I had an iCandy and the seats really aren't that big!
Are you looking to buy another similar to an iCandy (Britax B-smart etc?) or more of a 'pop up' style buggy?
How tall are your girls?
What about a Phil and Teds? The new Verve looks lovely, and although the back seat is smaller - your girls wouldn't be sleeping in there? And soon they will want to be out walking anyway - so would be able to hop in and out?
Am not sure about the B-smart - haven't had one or pushed one, but have heard that it's quite heavy; so probably not good for 2 toddlers. Not sure how big the second seat is though?
Again, not had/pushed one, and haven't looked into the seat heights, but the Jane Twone could be an option? The seats look pretty tall to me! I've had a Jane Powertwin before and it is a totally fabulous buggy! Not the best looking I know, and I wasn't too impressed with it 'til I had a push! Literally turns on a sixpence, but think the front seat would be too small really. But the Twone could be a contender?
I'm pretty sure that they would both fit in the ABC Zoom, but that thing really is a beast to be avoided at all cost! Have no idea why it is so massive?! Could be an option if you can't find anything else though.
Oooh how I love good buggy talk!
Where are you moving to rattling? Are you staying in Edinburgh? I loved living in Edinburgh but it was so expensive to buy anything. Talking of which, how is your house selling/hunting going tarti ?
Congratulations cornwall73. You sound like you have had a long journey. Hope you are keeping well and my advice would be to indulge yourself in as much sleep pre twins as poss.
Hope you are both doing OK cerub and mucky
Just marking place really. Congratulations Cornwall, I would definitely echo Chesti's sleep advice!
Back tomorrow when sober for proper update
Rattling I can't imagine the constant stress of tidying for viewings, having to get rid of the kids etc etc and all to no avail. I was in bits just getting it sorted for the photos to be taken. Our sign went up yesterday but the details aren't online yesterday as I wanted a few things changing and no one's got back to me. So far they're pretty hard to get hold of which isn't a great sign . I guess ours is a cheap house so probably not a priority.
How long has yours been on the market for Rattling?
Cerub how are you doing?
Kate you are a star, I think an ABCzoom is what I need it's the only think that gives them both enough room for another year in the pram. Is it really that bad? I hate all the others, there just isn't enough space.
I just wrote a huge post which disappeared! Am off to the DT's as F has a very high temp and puked through the night. Hair appointment and driving lesson cancelled!
Poor you, hope she's ok Lavita.
Update: had lovely meet up with ALL and her three angelic children today. I was child free as had bunged them in nursery to get house ship shape for EA photos, so was able to really absorb the fact that the mini-ALLs have perfect table manners and are every but as cute as their fb photos...
Off to see friend on the eve of her wedding tonight. Her husband to be has just been told he has a big tumour possibly cancer which needs urgent operation. They've already had to bring the wedding forward and scale it right down due to surprise pregnancy, so will be doing everything possible to make sure tomorrow is special for them.
Seems to be nothing but bad news at the moment...
to you all x
LVB Glad to be of Pram service! No I don't think it's bad at all - if that's what you need! I only meant that it should be avoided at all costs because of it's size - I didn't know whether you were hoping to 'downsize'. If they both fit, then perfect With the ABC they can both face outwards (no seat kicking!) or both face inwards so that they can talk to each other, which is nice.
I've just been thinking - have a look at one of my ABC Adventure buggy! You can get the single ABC (Not the same company as the ABC Zoom... sorry is going to be confusing!) and then the toddler seat to go on top! The base seat is huge, and it doesn't really matter how big they are with the top seat if you get the toddler one - it's like a supermarket trolley seat in that any age child can fit in it.
Ohh let me just find you a picture.. here - do you see what I mean by the child on top? Obviously you'd have the single on the bottom, rather than the double!
Hope F is feeling better - sickness doesn't sound good How did you get on at Dr's?
Both girls have a virus, V seemed fine just had red eyes but she had a high temp too another boring day at home tomorrow.
Really like the other pram too Kate, you really are, our resident expert
Hope Mucky & Cerub are ok, DP and I definitely aren't as stable as we were pre children, I think it puts a huge amountof strain on a relationship. As a SAHM pretty much I think I really should get married as I would be in an awful situation if we ever split
So of our wedding plans, there was torrential rain in Italy the day we were going to look at our venue (a sign maybe!) so the plan was to holiday therein the Summer and make a decision.
The more I think about it, the more stressed I feel. I just don't think I can be bothered with a big "do"
Spoke to DP about running off on a mega family holiday, Hawaii, get married on a beach just us and the girls, enjoy the sun, sea and sand, then stop at Disneyland in LA for a few days on the return. It will cost a fortune but would be amazing and a lot cheaper than a wedding!
Thoughts please, also means no family or friends but still...
Thanks Tarti - they were on form today . We had a lovely time & I got the chance to keep my hand in with teacher death stares etc in the play area afternoon you left. And grandma had made sausages for dinner. Can't have too many sausages
Hope your girls feel better soon Lavita. I think your musings over an intimate wedding while on hol sound ideal. But then I'm not a wedding person so not the best to comment. If we ever did it I think we'd do it in secret & not tell anyone ever. I know my mum (& probably the in laws) would be less than impressed.
Camping out at parents almost done & it hasn't been as bad as I imagined. Boys are really missing dp & pretty keen to get back home. Building work seems to be going well. We'll be going back to a shell of a downstairs on Saturday & will be eating out lots and going back only to shower / bed but the bulk of the really dirty stuff is done. Mostly putting back together to do now.... Can't wait!
I love your wedding idea Lavita. Just do whatever will make you and your DP most happy. The thought of trying to juggle everyday life with organising a big traditional wedding IN ANOTHER COUNTRY makes me feel faint!
Hello all. Apologies for not posting more often - I do read regularly but daren't post for fear of alerting you all to the sudden Jeremy Kyle-esque nature of my new "life"
However - Cornwall - that is EXCELLENT news!!! Would you think me a dreadful stalker if I admitted to having dropped in regularly to FF, so already knew you were going off for treatment abroad? I had however missed the fact that you are expecting twins!!! Massive congratulations - you must be over the moon. What a fantastic journey you have ahead of you...
I promise I'll come back to write more soon. It's all just so hideous, I feel like not only are we getting divorced, but I happen to have married quite the worst type when it comes to it. He's trying for 50% residency of the children, wants to sell the house, refuses to move out, is being an utter arse about absolutely everything... etc etc. Oh and, we're now all living on benefits and he's contributing the grand sum of FIVE POUNDS per week towards his children. There are no words. Things have become unbelievably grim and all I can say is I'm slowly developing the fighting spirit needed to overcome the daily attacks on every single aspect of life. Last week it was him deviously trying to get the girls out of their nursery because post-divorce he doesn't want to be liable for any sort of private school or nursery fees and at the moment they're in a private nursery. So not only are the girls going through massive and very upsetting changes he's also wanting to move them to a different nursery and away from the one constant in their lives which is nothing to do with us. As I say, there are no words.
Oh Mucks big hugs from here, you have all our support
Glad you have got your fighting spirit, I can imagine you feel in the worst possible place, but you will get out the other side of this.
Thinking of you and sending some of my fighting gumption your way (he is a complete arse agreed!)
Oh mucky I'm sorry to hear you are having such a horrible time. I don't really have any advice, but if I can help in any way just let me know.
Have spent the evening with a bottle of wine and a stack of photos, and have managed to update my photo albums to Dec 2010, and have photos printed to Aug 2011. Still massively behind but feel a bit happier. Photo albums are one of my things, and I've done an album a year since 2000. It used to be a hobby, but now is so overdue is turning into a thing I feel guilty about and a bit of a chore. Lovely looking back on pics of the kids 2 years ago though. However the albums from pre kids are full of photos of trips abroad/mad parties/glamorous wedings etc, and since 2008 the albums are full of photos of the kids. where has my life gone! Must try harder to have a life beyond the kids and have photographic evidence of it to make the albums less monotonous
Mucky. It just sounds too awful for words. Of course you will come out the other side of this and your girls will be fine because you will have protected them from the worst, but it truly does sound horrific for you. Am holding your hand throughout x x x
Mucky Please don't feel like you can't vent it all to us - I'm sure it must help to just splurge it all out sometimes, even just writing it all down? Besides, we don't mind a bit of Jeremy-Kyle-ness every now and then (in fact I am secretly quite partial!) if it helps to get things off your shoulders.
I'm sorry to hear that he is just being a bastard about it all - why can't men just be amicable about things like this?! I don't think they realise that they make things so much harder for themselves by being such knobs. Am not surprised that you're so angry. Am pleased, but also sorry, that you've had to develop such a fighting spirit - I just wish it was easier for you and the girls.
Where are you staying now? Is there any way that you can go and stay with family for a bit, with the girls, just to give you a bit of a rest? Sending huge hugs and copious bottles of wine x
Sorry for the rambling of the other night, not very sensitive considering what is going on with cerub and mucky at the moment. Must step away from the internet after drinking wine.
We are the house of lurgy at the moment. J in particular has been unwell, high temp, vomiting, ear ache. The whole smogasboard it seems. We are still aiming for that perfect week when we actually get them all to nursery/childminders without some sort of illness/holiday etc. And H is now on antibiotics for 6 weeks to try and clear the chronic ear infections she has been having. ENT is recommending grommets, if the glue ear doesn't clear up.
Hope everyone else's little ones are getting over their colds and viruses too.
Chesti your message about photos reminded me how badly I need to do the same. It has been hanging over me since before they were born so of course now there are THOUSANDS.
Must get on with it.
Feel the girls' behaviour has become really quite boisterous and often disobedient. DH won't hear a word of it and thinks they are angels, which is most annoying, and I think his idea of what is acceptable/appropriate behaviour is actually quite far removed from mine. I can see how this kind of thing can become a serious problem in a family/marriage
In other news, had an offer on the house on Saturday - day 3 of being on the market - I mean it was a laughably, wouldn't-even-consider it-low offer but it was a bit of an odd, unique situation. Anyway more viewings tomorrow and another later in the week so am cautiously hopeful. I'm telling myself if you actually go and look round somewhere then you must be ok with the vague price and location... (These are the issues with the house - it's nicely presented so if we can get viewers who are ok with the location I'm sure we can shift it!).
Sorry for the obsessive house news I've got a one track mind at the moment
Mucky, I agree. From what little I know of the situation 'arse' is quite tame. I know it must be difficult all round but still. Good that you've found some fight and I hope you can feel you're moving forwards. Cerub, you too
Wow, Tarti - promising! Tho makes it more of a scary real possibility too I guess. & I'm like you both in being behind in keeping the photo albums up to date tho I'm just pleased I'm vaguely up to date with printing out our best ones!
Our house was broken into last night while we were all sleeping . Luckily we didn't hear a thing even tho c had a pretty unsettled night & I felt I'd been awake most of it. Evidently not, although I wonder if I did hear something but not realise someone was in. I'd even gone down to the fridge through the night to get c some cheese thinking she may be hungry. Bizarrely, the only things missing are..... A multipack of snickers and a 4 pint milk carton both taken from the fridge . The police were most perplexed .
OMG ALL, that is awful. How on earth are you managing to sound sanguine about it?! Very glad they didn't take anything of value (snickers apart) and that they didn't bother any of you. Hope the locks are well and truly secured now. Was it the builders' fault really that it wasn't secure against intruders?
More support for Mucky from these quarters. What a heap of crap to have to deal with, I know you don't want pity so take a bruising thump to the arm instead. Hope the girls are feeling a bit better today, poor things.
I'm plodding along here. Had a slump last week when the initial coping response wore off, which wasn't unrelated to a) seeing a solicitor about my rights and about costs of divorce, and b) having the worst day out with toddler twins in recorded history. Feel a bit better again now and am being wonderfully supported by friends. Parents being
extremely a bit ranty about the whole thing, very very upset and disappointed but going on about it to me is not the right response as I have my own problems to handle.
Meanwhile, my two turn two tomorrow! Happy birthday, kids - daddy's bought you a broken home . They have embraced the terrible twos a few days early and the palaver of getting them dressed and undressed is unbelievable, they're just so devious about it!
Sounds very positive on the sale front tarti and hope a sensible offer pops up soon so you can stop worrying about keeping it tidy etc - a Sisyphean task if ever there was one. What are the girls doing that's particularly disobedient?
Sorry to hear about all the ailments at home chesti. It really does feel as though illness piles on top of illness sometimes. Allegedly there's a payoff for nursery lurgies at some point when they don't get so many colds later in childhood but that might be a cruel joke.
LVB what did DP say to the Hawaiian idea? Does he need time to let it percolate or did he see the attraction too? I can only guess that Italian in laws may mean even more pressure than usual to have a big family affair, but as said before the very idea of trying to organise a wedding in another country/another language/with twins etc would bring me out in a rash so I wouldn't blame you at all. I guess the key question is whether you'd ever look back and feel a bit regretful if you hadn't had the bridesmaids, big party, loads of friends etc type of bash (and as far as possible disregard what other people apart from DP might say about it).
Glad to hear you're being well-supported Cerub. I suppose down days/ weeks are to be expected but hopefully over the weeks/ months you'll have more & more better days. Happy birthday to your two littlies! I hope they have a lovely day
Break in wasn't builders fault, other than they were perhaps hoping for some tools to take. Apparently we have 2.5k of dehumidifier at the mo & it is still here. & I guess the cement mixer was a tad too heavy. It has given us a kick up the bum to fit a new deadlock - and use it. Dp was never happy dead locking at night in case of needing to be out in a hurry in case of fire but this has changed his mind for now. They broke a glass panel next to the door & reached around & undid the lock. Kids play really. Since we're living upstairs there was nothing of any value downstairs. & normally we'd have keys & stuff lying around too. Stuff we know is not good practice but we're a little blasé about.....
Gosh all a break in whilst you are in the house sounds pretty scary. You sound very calm about it, think I'd be freaking out. We are very lax at security too. In fact often the patio doors are unlocked for days at a time . We live in quite a small town, and there is very little crime, but that's no excuse.
cerub, hope you s&r had a lovely day. You sound like you are coping really well at the moment. You must be gobsmackingly hurt, and in your place I would probably be really childish and lashing out and spiteful at everyone particularly "d"h. Well done for remaining calm and rising above him.
2/3 kids on penicillin her now
All that is awful glad you are in good spirits. We were burgled once, it was horrid.
Cerub I hope you had a lovely birthday with your gorgeous two xx
My news is that I failed my driving test a second time, 4 minors but I failed with a major for pulling up too harshly at a red light
My instructor was in the back and said she thought I'd passed, so annoying, am comforting myself with a glass of wine
Oh no, what a pain LVB! So frustrating to have the freedom within touching distance then have to do it all again. Thing is, I' m sure most people who have passed already could as easily pass or fail on any given day...
Hope you haven't increased your ill tally Chesti, & that things are improving.
We realised yesterday that we are missing a roll of bin liners - reckon the burglar must have taken them as they were next to the fridge. We've not been able to find C's shoes since the weekend either & dp wondered if they were taken too. Hadn't even crossed my mind but I feel more freaked by that than finding out we'd been broken into. Still
much to her disgust she has a lovely pair of new red shoes.
Oh dear LVB. So annoying to be so near to passing. I'm sure you'll get it next time.
ALL, you have the wierdest burglars
At the moment all kids are well-ish. Fingers crossed next week we might actually get all kids going to the respective childcare places, with no alternative arrangements having to be made. 8 weeks down the line.
Have a lovely facial and massage booked for tomorrow morning (voucher from my birthday back in Nov!) and then going out for a few drinks with a friend in the evening. Nice to have something to look forward too.
Chesti broke the thread! How are the kids this week? Hope the antibiotics have done their work and you are getting onto an even keel with nursery etc. How was your facial?
Sorry about the driving test failure LVB. It really sucks when you fail. When do you re-take? Hope third time's the charm .
Is your kitchen nearly there now ALL? Hope it is shaping up nicely. It's so exciting to have new shiny stuff isn't it!
All's pretty good with me. Actually I worry a bit that I am getting on too well as I'm not looking back at the moment and actually feeling more relief than anything else, because this massive uncertainty in my life that I'd been trying to handle all alone has disappeared and now I know where I stand. Hard to know whether this is 'normal' behaviour or whether I'm suppressing something that will have to come out eventually.
R has a UTI that, I'm ashamed to say, she has probably had for weeks. She's been clutching at her nappy for a while and it reached such a point yesterday that it was clear I had to grasp the nettle and deal with getting a doctor's appointment (to be fair to me, I'd tried to get a pre-booked appointment last week and was told there weren't any for 3 weeks...the system of camping out on the phone at 8am for a same day appt is just so incompatible with normal life)! So anyway she's got antibiotics now and is off nursery until next week. If the lovely weather today holds that'll be nice as I can get her out and about on the reins and try her on her new scooter - stuff that's so hard to manage with two on your own.
Hope everyone's well x
ALLthey probably took the bags to put stolen loot in, we were burgled years ago, and even months down the line we kept remembering small things that we'd not noticed at the time
Chesti Very jealous of the facial, I am in need of a total body rehaul, would love some "me" time. Am considering joining our local gym but am worried I won't use it enough, and then feel guilty about it!
Cerub sorry to hear about R, we are really lucky with our Dr, you can call anytime for an urgent app, leave a message and a Dr calls back, if they think they need to see you, they will squeeze you in that day.
Also glad you are feeling positive, I think it is good to be looking forward, as tough as this is, you'll get through it.
I have got the girls duck outfits for nursery tomorrow for world book day, but am unsure I'll be able to wrestle them into them!
Mucky how are you?
Poor R. I hope she's feeling better. I'd be the same but we are really lucky with our walk-in service here. They are fab. It doesn't seem totally unreasonable for you not to be falling apart at the seams. Although the situation is awful, it is not entirely unsurprising to feel that you can finally move on without constantly wondering what will happen, even if it isn't what you'd like in an ideal world. Hugs to you and mucky, I feel for you both so much x
How did the outfits go LVB?
Still in the midst of builders here. Another week to go in theory. Looks like there is loads to do but I guess it comes together quickly at the end. Lounge is pretty much there other than flooring & decoration. Have just bought a wood burner stove today too & very excited about that tho 3 weeks or so til we get it installed. All of our kitchen units / appliances are here & prob going in next week tho we have a little more remedial work to do to ceiling joists. All v exciting <saddo>
Glad I didn't completely kill the thread
cerub, you sound like you are doing amazling well. I can completely see where you are coming from, I also hate uncertianty and am better in horrible situations if at least I can plan my way out of them. mucky hope you are ok too.
Week 9 of childcare and DH and I realised yesterday that J had a cleft appt today that we both hadn't remembered. Hence the 9th week in a row where I have to take unscheduled time off work. Bugger. Fingers crossed for next week.
Hope everyone is doing ok. Too late to wite much more. Must try to get to bed earlier.
Have I broken the thread again?
Yes thread Killed!
I am unfortunately in a lot of pain F did a toddler tantrum backwards headbutt on me 2 days ago, right into my front tooth, my dentist is on holiday. Still very painful, but thankfully didn't fall out as yet!
Not much else going on really, how is everyone?
Marking my place, I keep losing the thread!
Sounds painful Lavita, hope she learned her lesson
My turn for a bit of thread breaking!
How was this week Chesti? I hope you had a bit more success with keeping everyone where they should have been. Ouchy (ha, that autocorrects to punchy!) Lavita. Did you swear. Loudly. That's usually my response when it doesn't leave me in pain days later. How the house selling / moving plans going Tarti?
We're at end of wk 4 of building stuff here & starting to get to the point of moving back into the lounge. Put the dining table in there yesterday & it felt so civilised eating there rather than picnic-style on the floor of the boys' bedroom. Another couple of weeks to get the kitchen sorted though. Looking forward to cooking but even more excited at the prospect of having a washing machine again. Hand washing is not fun! It has been ok though - quite enjoyed some bits of it.
Hi all, have been reading but not had much productive to say. It's all been very difficult just recently and I sometimes feel as though it's all too much to manage. The twins are so exhausting, every little thing is a battle with them and they are very attention-hungry and clingy. Sometimes I can't decide whether to take them out somewhere, which means a battle to get into coats and buggy, but also refusal to walk and insistence on being carried, clinginess on arrival, then the same in reverse to go home! But then being at home can be intolerable too when they just go on and on and need 100% attention all the time.
My parents have been dismal as well, still ranting and while asking me how I am they kick off as soon as I actually tell them how I am. My mum rang my MIL the other day telling her to get XH to pull his finger out and help or the children would be taken into care!! She also claimed that the entire burden of helping me was on them, when they have offered just twice to come and help in a whole month and even then the second of those was withdrawn because my mum "didn't want to fall out with me over how it was being handled". I honestly didn't realise I was part of a dysfunctional family but on this evidence I seem to be.
I haven't got enough practical support and whenever I spend time with my children I am ready to snap, they are only two and can't help it but I haven't got infinite patience while this is going on. But hopefully I may be getting some paid-for help with bedtimes, which are a bit of a problem area because I'm just so tired when I get home and go straight into double tantrums and double insistence on having my undivided attention.
Sorry this is so gloomy, I am just finding it very hard after the initial "fuck you" mentality wore off. Hope everyone else is OK (poor LVB, hope your tooth is alright after the whack).
Ooh Cerub, have been drinking but didn't want to read and run I just have to say FUCK - 2 year olds & tantrums are horrendous and I totally get what you are saying in regards to the staying at home vs doing anything debate. I mostly stay at home aarrgghhh but beat myself up constantly that I am a crap parent
You are doing a fab job and you Will get through this! And tell your parents to get a grip, they are about as useful as a chocolate teapot! I am free to come and drink wine one night with you and Mucky if you fancy a meet up!
Big hugs xxxxx
Am convinced my tooth is going to fall out, am on a combination of wine, nurofen & numbing tooth mouth gel!
My dentist is on hols till Monday
Cerub what is your ex doing in regards to contact etc, where is he living? Is he not helping at all? my 2 are exactly the same and are very clingy and tantrum prone.
My dentist called and is going to see me tomorrow, sounds like a root canal he said, ouch and expensive, crappola!
Oh cerub, it sounds awful. Poor you. It's hard enough at times when you know you have someone to share the crappy bits with but knowing it's down to you must be hard. Never mind the other stuff you're dealing with. I'd always opt for the 'going out' option, not that it's nec the easy option. Are your ils close by / helpful / on your side? Families are such strange things and crack in the most unexpected ways under stress.
Lavita - that sounds like a proper injury! I think you need to get your girls signed up for martial arts.....
Was looking forward to a nice easy/ fun 'house' bimbly weekend here but checked in on work mail fri night to discover I'm being observed by our top bods this week. Joy. Broken my rules about not working when kids are upto try & get paperwork sorted. Been for a swim & off out for lunch before I get back to it. Thank god I'm part time & am taking students out for a day this week!
I am in apostrophe root canal fog of painkillers, my dentist even phoned this morning to check how I am, it was a really bad one.
So I am still in bed with my iPad, the girls are with me watching Dora. I'm hoping we can have a duvet day, and they don't get too bored. We have Brave to watch later.
Hope everyone is ok in this miserable weather!
Auto correct - no idea why it's put apostrophe in there
Arrgh. Just wrote a huge post and it disappeared. Aparently I wasn't logged in, even though I was
LVB hope your tooth is ok. Sounds sore, and expensive!
Cerub <big hugs>
and-i'm-not-a-touchy-person. Sounds like things are tough. I'm a big believer in taking the easiest route to childcare when stressed, so time in front of the telly and easy food (fresh pasta and dolmio) is not going to hurt them. For what it's worth I find taking then out, despite the hell to get them out, is generally better for us. But not easy in this weather. I wish I could do more to help.
Apologies for abscenteeism. Work is horrible at the moment. Won't go into it here, but would love to just walk out. Unfortunately there is no hope of finding a similar job with similar conditions without moving (though if we moved I could get a much better job probably) so I'll just have to ride it out.
Also went across to Sweden to visit my nephew (brother's son) last weekend. He is the easiest baby I have ever encountered. Sleeps 10 hours a night (and has done since 6 weeks old) drops off for naps with no fuss, eats well, no wind problems, happy and alert. I wanted one like that! . He onyl cried once in the whole 2 days I was there, and that was a tiny little tired squalk.
Hope everyone is ok. roll on Easter.
Just popping in to offer some and a (on account of the painkillers) to poor LVB. Sounds truly awful but I hope the worst is over and the dentist is confident the tooth can be saved by it? Naughty F, I imagine you will extract your revenge for this episode over many years (I would).
Thanks for the solidarity girls. Feeling brighter after Friday and Saturday's glumness. Managed to get out of the house shopping for a solid 7 hours on Sunday, and treated myself to some new undies, probably ironically given my situation, but much needed, a good pick me up and you never know when your luck will change after all!
I have got help organised for one evening a week, plus XH is going to do three pick ups and bedtimes a week overall, so that takes care of a good part of the week. They're still just about impossible to persuade onto the changing mat, into coats and into the buggy but on a good day I can avoid flipping. However I do need to get a grip on this because it's tedious in the extreme and defiant of them. Have been thinking of doing simple star charts with them. Are they too young would you say?
Is anyone going to watch this Bedtime Live thing on Ch4 tonight? Mine are good sleepers but I'm interested to get some tips for those days when it goes Pete Tong.
Good news for once, we have managed a week of everyone going where they are supposed to be. Hooray! None of the kids were ill, granny wasn't ill, Childminder wasn't on holiday, no hospital appts. Briiliant. It's only taken about 10 weeks.
Hope everyone else has had an equally good week
I have taped (our children won't say taped will they!) Bedtime Live am too scared to watch it. V is still talking now I can hear her.... I'm sure one of the will wail in the night and I'll be back in there. Has anyone bought a Gro clock?
I am rubbish at it all!
So any potty training tips everyone F has had 2 wee's on the potty, lots on the floor but seems keen, nappy clutching etc. V not interested .
Not much else to say, am drinking wine, watching Revenge and trying to plan/book our Summer holiday, driving to Italy and back again...
Come back ladies, I need potty training tips, F is refusing to wear a nappy (I am not leading this!) has done 3 wee's in the potty today, with lots of applause from V and only 1 accident!
Sorry LVB I have been popping on, but keep forgetting to post!
To be quite honest, I've been quite traumatised by last weeks' bed time antics. Honestly, DTrips were just horrendous! I was quite close to tears (disclaimer, it was an emotional day in general!) I just couldn't believe it! DH had gone out, but that wasn't particularly the issue as I put them to bed by myself often, and have done since they were little. When they were littler they used to play up, but only normal baby/toddler antics, which they didn't really know were naughty , but this behaviour last week was just so cheekily naughty! They were laughing for the whole 3.5 hours. Yes, you did read that correctly - 3.5 fucking hours. Delightful! Absolutely delightful!
LVB well.. it sounds like you're potty training then! Nothing like a bit of last minute decision making eh F?! Just follow her round with a potty all day, and every 2 minutes ask if she needs a wee. If she goes more than 20/30 mins without going for one of her own accord, then you need to kind of.. force it. I.e. 'Oooh come and have a try for a wee and mummy will find you a tiny treat!'. The most important thing, throughout the whole process, is to praise everything - even just sitting on the potty! Sometimes it is ridiculously frustrating because they have a sudden look of panic on their face and say 'Quick! I need a wee!' so you trip over everything running to get a potty, and they sit for 20 minutes, stand back up and say 'Nope, nothing ' to then wee on the floor 5 minutes later.. The whole potty training process is, essentially, the process of training their muscles - in the beginning they have virtually zero control over their muscles, and they can go a step backwards before going forwards - like everything, I suppose!
And yes, we do have GroClocks. They are really good for the summer when it gets lighter; and it just means that you don't have to keep saying 'no it's too early - 20 more minutes' - they don't actually know what '20 mins' means. IYSWIM? It's easy being able to say 'Erm.. I'm pretty sure that the sun hasn't come up yet.. it's still 3.43am... You can come back in when the sun has come up'.
We're sort of potty training here too. I've got a week off on the 8th so had planned to go to my parents (huge house, big garden, extra help and importantly, not my carpets!) and go cold turkey, no nappies. But we got the potties out of the loft the other day, and J is completely obsessed. He's on the potty every 10 minutes and produces a wee each time. It's great. But at the same time, I'm not ready for it! I've no idea how to cope with nursery, car trips, etc. With H I just did the week off work, cold turkey thing and she cracked it within a few days. J might well be the same, if I can figure out how to potty train him involving the childminder/granny/nursery - which is why I wanted to leave it until I had the time to do it myself. He obviously has other ideas.
D on the other hand is just not interested. He sat on the toilet seat for ages tonight, but no wee. He started to get really distressed, obviously desperate for a wee, but not sure what to do, so we gave in and gave him a nappy. I don't really want him to be scared of it, so will just leave him to plan A, which was the week at my parents.
But like ALL says, lots of praise. And a small treat (sticker, choc button etc)
Oops, as kate says, not ALL. How are your girls kate?
Still trying to earn brownie points and get back into my 'good books' after their behaviour last week
For the first time ever, they had the TV banned for the whole weekend - was a pretty hard learning curve for them, but I'm pleased that I stuck to my word.
We're finally doing dummies next week. I feel so awful that they still have them We just haven't had the time!
Chesti Brilliant that J has decided to self-potty train! Can imagine that it is definitely tricky though - hopefully it will settle down and click into place soon
Hope the girls have learned their lesson, and are little angels from now on. D still has his dummy too, and they both still have scabby old musiln cloths as comforters. But they are restricted to having them in bed only.
J is doing amazingly well with the potty training. Mind you, they are 34 months so they should be ready for it!
You bet they are Chesti! I only had to whisper the 'TV ban' today and they started being good again
I don't really know why it worked so well - I think because I've never really had to use such a drastic enforcement before! Unless they are silly with toys, we tend to do time out rather than taking things away; and I've never taken privileges away before. It worked well in the end, but I'm just a bit annoyed that we had to get to that stage before they gave up - and I think, tbh, it was out of tiredness rather than the threat of no TV. But oh well, at least they know that I'll go through with it - one of my pet hates is empty threats.
Re: dummies - Chesti they are going to school in September!!! We haven't yet thought about what the dummy fairy is bringing - but is going to have to be something impressive of those blinkin' dodies won't be going far!
Snugglies don't bother me too much to be honest, DD1 is 7 this year and still has her favourite blanky and teddy that she is attached to. She only has it in bed, but I think it's sweet. I used to love my cuddlies when I was younger.
Big Yay for J! 34 months is still super good
Hope today wasn't too expensive / painful at the dentist LVB! Good luck on the potty training too - I'd say just go with the flow, so to speak . It's true that when they're ready then it's fine. We had
months a while of nappy refusing while they geared up to it and that's difficult but once they're there then it's not too bad. I was dreading the marshalling the 3 of them in public toilets while they each decided whether they really did need a wee but even that has been mainly OK. The biggest problem is falling asleep in the car, especially after swimming since J appears to drink the contents of the pool. We're gearing up to trying J at night too as his nappy is usually dry in the morning. Need to catch up on washing before then tho.
Sounds like you've had fun Kate.
In holiday mode here. Last day at work til after Easter. Washing machine has been plumbed in today & I'm soooooo excited
won't last. Boys will be 3 next week so I'm planning a couple of days in my new kitchen baking birthday cakes and making curtains if I can decide on a fabric while they are at nursery & I am unbelievably excited at the prospect.
For tonight, it is
Congratulations on having your house back again ALL. Are you happy with how it all looks? I hope you've had lots of fun with the washing machine and new cooker, I'd be as excited as you after a long wait to have them in use. Happy birthday to J and W for this week. What are you giving them?
How's the tooth LVB? I think you said on fb that you could be looking at a bridge, does that mean that the tooth is just too damaged to save? Hope you don't still need painkillers anyway and are managing to eat OK
You sound as though you've got the measure of your girls and what makes them tick Kate. I am such an utter wimp over discipline, and this is one of the things that daunts me about doing this single handed. I am too soft hearted, and will usually keep asking
ad infinitum for them to do something rather than setting a limit on how many times I'll ask nicely, and I may quite possibly give in for the sake of a quiet life sometimes. But equally one thing I really hate is a child that has been given no boundaries and behaves as if the world revolves around them. So I've got to come up with some rules and go for it I think.
Sounds like great progress with J on potty training chesti. Have the nursery/childminder asked you to get them trained or has this been something he's chosen for himself? Has D had any more attempts or are you still leaving it for a week or two yet?
I bought potties a few weeks ago and have just had them sitting in the bedroom/sitting room so my two get familiar with them and they seem to quite enjoy sitting on them either fully dressed or with nappies on. R this morning pulled her own nappy off and stood there clearly trying to produce a poo (lovely) so I had to whip the potty over to her and caught a little poo in it (no wee, which was on the carpet instead ) so that is a tiny triumph for her.
Hope mucky's getting on OK.
Cerub That's brilliant for R! Is really good to get them used to having the potty - even if they're not using it yet, just so that it isn't some weird thing when they do start training.
Ha, I may sound like they are all under control, but clearly not the case after bedtime-gate! I'm not so strict in the daytime, but bedtime is bedtime - they have no reason to be up, and it wasn't because of illness or not being tired, they had just planned out to be naughty!
After the 3 hours I had genuinely tried everything - but what can you do at night time? Time out is pointless - that's keeping them up even longer! I can't shout or it will wake the other girls - I did raise my voice, but they just found it funny and we egging each other on. But then taking something like the TV away isn't something that is going to happen there and then, so I wasn't expecting them to react - if they were sitting and watching TV then fair enough, but if they're in bed I thought they would just think 'whatever' and carry on misbehaving. It was getting to the point of thinking about taking their snugglies away; but I'm sure that would just cause more naughtiness.
They were soo not expecting me to carry through with it - next morning they asked to watch telly, and I said 'What happened last night? You girls did not behave nicely at all, and mummy was not happy'.. they just looked at me and went 'Ha ha.. so can we watch telly now '... Err no!
You're right though - I can't bare it when parents just don't discipline at all and have that airy fairy voice all the time 'Oh tommy, har har, darling, har har, please stop punching mummy in the face, har har, it makes mummy ever so sad darling, har har'. It doesn't hurt children to tell them off - and I don't mean screaming at them and belting them into next week, at all! And the good thing is that the hard work does pay off - if you do discipline them consistently then, like DTrips, they don't do naughty things anymore; they are silly and cheeky, but not naughty (Obviously bar bedtime-gate!) and I rarely have to tell them off.
Anyway, hope you guys are having a good easter!
We are all bubbed out on the sofa after eating our body weight in chocolate!
Wow, sounds like a strategy worth remembering Kate! It surprises me when the boys can understand / remember consequences. So hard at night tho, I know when we were going through a tantrum stage at night there seemed so little we could do. CErub, if it's any use I find it easier to be stern the older they get.
We're still busy with the house but it's in a
mostly useable state. The sink/ taps & hob are yet to be connected & some finishing off to do but I've actually cooked & made the boys' cakes this weekend. Total bliss. Having our wood burning stove installed this week - very excited about that!
Our plans were Slightly scuppered as Will has had chickenpox over Easter meaning the decorator opted not to come & paint as he's not had it so that's holding us back a bit & has also limited where we've been able to go. Bought a new sofa today - wasn't on our shopping list!
Not sure about their birthday. I don't think they understand they can ask for stuff so we weren't really going to bother . But then didn't think they knew it was their bday this week either. Suddenly they've started singing happy birthday & telling us it's their bday soon so obv must have talked about it at nursery. We had planned just to do a nice day out. I remember more about special stuff we did for my bday than presents. But we need to see if the pox spreads I guess. Think j would have it by now if he picked it up from nursery too so may just be waiting to see if either have caught it from W.
Oh yes -great about the potty too! That's the approach we took. Still seemed to take forever to get to fully trained. C likes to sit on the potty (the kiddy step will do either) & looks v proud of herself. She seemed to have a lightbulb moment last week in discovering she has control -v funny! Mortification at puddle on floor followed by interest that the next wee did indeed come from her & pointing / gabbing excitedly at the 3rd.
Our big training news is we've had 2 dry nappy-free nights from J
-jinxes self. His nappy is generally dry in the morning but thought we'd wait til our washing machine was installed & we'd caught up on the laundry.
A-ha (Alan Partridge style). Found you. Really couldn't find this thread earlier. Was very weird.
Blooming tablet, a couple of nights ago I clicked on hide instead of flip the thread and I thought I'd got away with it, but turns out I'd hidden you all! Complete pain to figure out how to unhide a thread!
Technology - don't you love it! We just got a new lappy yesterday & it seems to be a weird windows / app hybrid (nice tho). Just when you think you have it all sussed....
Sorted some bits out for boys' bday so we're no longer the mean parents we planned. Just wrapping now.... While listening to the chimney liner being inserted for our new wood burner - so exciting! Burny burny tonight!
So are you burning up a storm then ALL? How lovely to have a wood burning stove, a real heartwarming appliance!
Pity you still need it in bloody April though.
Is C some kind of child prodigy?! She seems very advanced with all her milestones and trying out the potty already seems amazing.
Glad you found us again chesti. So are things ok with you? Tell us more about the FB thing if you can on here.
Felt very moved this evening - I had agreed with a girl who works at the nursery to come and help with home time/bedtime one night a week just to be an extra pair of hands for me, and tonight was the first time (they screamed blue murder because they weren't used to her being around but never mind). We had agreed on a rate of pay but when it came to time to pay her she said she wouldn't accept anything and just wanted to help. I feel a bit teary about it actually. People are being kind in ways expected and unexpected. Part of me feels really embarrassed about being viewed as needing help, but it is true at times, and I am quite humbled by how lovely people can be.
So lovely of your nursery girl Cerub! Tho makes it more difficult for you to ask for help if she's not going to accept payment I guess. It's lovely when you realise how much good there is in the world really & it certainly makes me want to make more of an effort.
Ah, we had great plans for burning but then were told we need to leave it for 2-3 days for all the sealant stuff to set properly