Mumsnet Talk

Today was DD's first birthday - we've had a lovely time went to the zoo and had a family tea - worn out and tucked up - my AIBU though is that we got 3 or 4 joint birthday cards - and I'm feeling a bit miffed on behalf of my gorgeous girls

2 were from my sisters I'm wondering if your twins/triplets got joint cards and if you minded or am i being a bit precious? Also if you did mind how did you broach the subject for subsequent birthdays??

For all those mums expecting twins I'm very jealous and would love to do it again! -having twins is a real blessing and though we have two older children and it has at times been tough I wouldn't change it for the world great believer in that mother nature won't give you anything you can't cope with

Sorry I've no experience to offer (I only read the post out of nosiness )
But maybe people will get the message in time when they realise that your DDs are giving a card each to them when it's their birthday.

YANBU this is unacceptable, v rarely happened that I can recall.
Please, if you haven't already, take some video of your dds, you will be amazed how unreliable your memory is, you are so busy getting on with stuff, you and they will love looking back.
Mine are 18!
To answer your question...I think you can only set a good example, eg we always had 2 cakes, sung happy birthday twice, sent cards from each girl seperately when they were older, never dressed them alike etc etc

also am not a multiple mum but am shocked people would give joint cards even if it is the first birthday
hope u all had a nice day xxx

glad it's not just me then - shallishanti - have got lots of video - they are growing up so quickly - it's bittersweet - love them at this stage but sad they won't stay little for longer - need fluffy smiley!! We were meant to have 2 cakes but after my 4th attempt gave up as we had run out of eggs!! one cake was lovely but we did sing happy birthday to each of them - which they tried to join in with

will need some tips to help with the next 17 years!

have had a fab day - am knackered and 'celebrating' with a well deserved glass of wine!

Message withdrawn

Def should be separate cards. Just mention it sometime in the next year - gently, without offending

When DTs were born, obviously we got lots of cards, congratulating us on their birth. A friend who has twins (13yo) sent 2 cards, very different, one congratuations on the birth of DT1, one on the birth of DT2. I think those of us who are multiple mums are a bit more sensitive to this, but on the other hand I have always bought separate cards and presents for my twin godchildren without a second thought. YANBU. I like kathryn's suggestion of how to handle it.

My boys have always got joint cards (even from my mum!). I've got over it, I've decided it saves the planet a little bit.

What annoys me is when they get a joint present of something really crap especially from grandparents. I feel they are short changed for sharing a birthday.

One DS wants a different birthday to his bro as he wants his own birthday (they are 4!).

Think I'll be mentioning it when they are a bit older then - about 18mths!I think you're right 1stMrsF that multiple mums are more sensitive to it - though most of our friends brought seperate cards for them and they don't have twins. Iguess you're right VTT that it does save the planet - maybe I'll start buying my sisters one card between them - though one birthday in feb one in oct may make it bit difficult - they'll have to have it in july!

yanbu at all - I don't have multiples either but remember my mum getting very upset at my sister always being sent a joint birthday and christmas present from some relatives simply because her birthday was in December. Your experience is similar, but worse IMO as each child doesn't get their own card to open! Definitely say something to the people who sent the joint cards!

I too can remember getting joint cards and I probably felt it more than they did. Being boy girl twins things have changed a bit but my nan still askes how the "twins" are when she phone which bugs me and I`ve found that now they are at school some people are very wary of invitingone to a party or out to tea for fear of upsetting the other.

I`ve made a point of telling people that they are still individual and should be treated as such and things have got better.
But even when they have had joint paties they have both invited their own set of freinds. And yes we always have two cakes and sing happy birthday twice why should they have to share everything?