I don't want my sisiters to be my friends too!

[42manygirls]

Hi, have triplet 8 yr old daughters in the same class a school so pretty much around each other 24-7. They have a real love hate relationship between them and are very similar in their likes and dislikes dispite our attempts to develop individuality. Try to arrange situations for them to be on their own, but life isn't always that simple. Have had on going issue of them all wanting to be friends with the same children but it being physically impossible to split a child three ways to satisfy everyone. This has now progressed to the typical "I hate my sisters" conversations after bad school playtimes. Girls will fall in and out of frindships daily but I'm stuggling with how to deal with this when it's a sibling and everything that's happened at school is brought home and played out again. Tried the, that's life just get on with it, approach and talking it through with coping stratagies. Even had them banned from playing together at school for a week. Any ideas out there of how to keep the peace?

[brucelovesfrumpygrumpy]

Oooh a hard one.....we have some triplet mums on our daily thread. I've linked them in here to see if they have any pearls of wisdom.

[brucelovesfrumpygrumpy]

this is our daily thread

[bigfatuglybitch]

Corr your eldest girl is very old. 2001!
There is a thread for mums of multiples here. have you tried asking them to go to seperate rooms for twenty mins after school, so they can calm down a little.

[42manygirls]

Thanks will give it a go!

[lindseyfox]

is there the possiblity of them being in seperate classes in sept obviously this would be a good option when they move on to their next school.

do the sit on same table in class maybe ask they are seperate.

allow one child each week to choose a friend home and they get to play and spend time with that friend - however if they play up when one of the others has their friend over then they miss their turn. (higly likely the same child will come to tea every week but just an idea)

ask mums of the girls friends to only invite one of the girls round for tea, to bday party etc so they arent always seen as the triplets

maybe enrol them in some different activities to make new "own" friends for example one to brownies, one to choir group and one to drama group.

[42manygirls]

Unfortunately we were unable to get the girls into a school with a three class intake so they are in the same class of a two class intake. They are also same ability so are often grouped together within the class. We have arranged for them to spend half a day a week in the other yr 3 class so some space is created but this isn't really enough. Have thought a lot about moving one, but the disscussion always ends with which one? Have managed to get Gran to take two home for tea while one has friend over which worked very well. Would love to do that more often, but of course it does depend on the help of Gran. Only just beginning to get friends to invite one over without the mums feeling under pressure to invite other two on other days. My girls are rather hung up on "fair" and struggle with the idea of doing different things no matter how much they are encouraged or indeed forced to experience things individually. Thanks for your ideas. Will keep trying!!

[lindseyfox]

their behaviour is also typical of yr 3 girls. yr 3/4 girls are known for their falling in and out of friendships, nothings fair, everyone hates me type of behaviour.

not that this helps you with having 3 of that age!!

do they move to secondary/high school in yr 6 or 7? This would be the time for them to go into individual classes.

good that gran helps out and they can have a friend over individually.

is there anyway that once a week or once a month you can take 1 of them out on your own, maybe swimming or just for a cake at the coffee shop. Its amazing how many 8yr old girls love half an hr on their own with mum.

[42manygirls]

Thanks. One of those situations where you know in reality that thay are normal for their age but it just seems soooooo much effort to get through a day with them sometimes that you think they are the only children in the world behaving like this!

Girls will get to be in some different classes at the local high school. Just need to survive years 4-6 at primary!

I definately have to make more of an effort to take them out individually myself. I do tend to be the one at home with the others while family members enjoy the one on one time with the girls.

Banned the Disney channel for the last week and have actually had much less attitude thrown my way and at each other.

Is there a link perhaps??!!

I always thought the likes of Hannah Montanna, Raven and Lizzie Mcguire were evil underneath it all!!!

[lindseyfox]

i think with the summer months doesnt do them any harm to have tv very limited ie none at all if weather is nice and they can go in garden or you can take them to park.

think once year 5 comes along the friendship thing gets a little better but then puberty starts around year 5 for some girls so that will be fun with 3 of them (sorry)