When one behaves and the other misbehaves - advice needed

[Ifonlyoneday]

First time poster and mum of 5 year old twins. Hoping from some guidance from you experienced twin mummies. My twins go to all the same things, parties, after school clubs and sports clubs. Occasionally one is naughty, ideally I would like to take them from the club/party/activity as a consequence of their bad behaviour, but if I did this then I would have to leave with both twins and the twin that had behaved would miss out. Any tips on how I can discipline? When what I really want to do is remove them from the activity, saying if you don't behave you don't get to do x.

[nephrofox]

Can't you remove them from the activity by making them sit next to you rather than joining in? Or on a particular chair at the side

[AwfulBeryl]

Can you sit the one who is being a pickle with you ?
I do that with mine, the threat of sitting with Mummy and holding my hand until they remember the rules is enough now.

[AwfulBeryl]

X post with fox.
At least it's not as bad as when they both misbehave.

[Clobbered]

Agree, you can have some 'time out' with the naughty one, as you might with a singleton.

Is it consistently one twin who is the naughty one, or do they both have their moments? You would probably only need to remove both of them from one event for the threat of a repeat to stop future misbehaviour.

[Ifonlyoneday]

Thanks fellow posters, I hadn't thought of that, yes sitting next to mummy would be equally as boring and a fitting consequence, especially seeing their fellow twin doing what they want to. I think I get into such a flap about how to deal with the bad behaviour swiftly, I often come away thinking how could I have handled that better. Will deploy the sit next to mummy/daddy tactic, when this next occurs, fingers crossed not for some time.

[AwfulBeryl]

don't worry, everyone panics a bit when they misbehave in public.
I know it can feel like people are looking and judging, but we have all been there at some point.

[Ifonlyoneday]

They never both play up at the same time. One plays up more than the other, she struggles to manage her emotions when she doesn't succeed/achieve what she wants. A bit of a perfectionist with a strong stubborn streak. Situation sometimes magnified if one twin "gets" an activity skill, while the other is still mastering it.

[andadietcoke]

Mine are 2.5 and I really struggle with disciplining one (or rewarding one). I have one proper little helper and she definitely deserves a treat sometimes but then her sister turns up and demands the same. Same at dinner time - is it okay to withhold dessert from one? It always seems to magnify the poor behaviour from the one that's suffering the consequence. I just need to woman up, don't I?!