How will I cope with 1 yr old twins and a newborn?

(8 Posts)
Kmoggy Fri 01-Jan-16 09:58:58

Help I'm terrified that I'm not going to be able to cope with this. Just found out I'm pregnant again!!(seems like midwives were right about being highly fertile) my twins are 4 months old just now, not bad babies tbh and both sleep 7-7. I'm just really worried how I'm going to cope with them all. Has anyone got any advice on how to mange 2x 1 yr olds and newborn?

PixieChops Fri 01-Jan-16 10:30:40

I was in your position. I only had one 1 year old though so don't know how much use I'm going to be to you.
I got caught pregnant when my daughter was 4 months old, I absolutely shit myself and looking at her grow up and become more mo lie all I thought was "how the hell am I going to cope with her and a newborn at the same time?!"
It's good that you've got an established routine with your babies and they are sleeping well. For that alone you deserve high praise!
Basically (and I won't lie) the first 3 months you will effectively be not very fully functioning due to exhaustion, in the first 3 months get as much help as you possibly can. Is your DH helpful with your current two? Get your mum round (if you're in contact with her- obvs I don't know how much support you've got around you) do online shopping, do everything in your power to make your life easier. After the first 12 weeks it gets so much easier. Your newborn will start to fall into place with your other two. At 4 months old DS moved into DDs bedroom with her and I think it's good for them to share space as DS quickly slept for longer periods when put in the same room as DD.
Make sure you get out of the house. There's nothing worse than being stuck inside with a raging energetic toddler (or 2) and a newborn. The toddlers will need entertaining whereas the newborn can just come along and probably sleep. Strap the newborn to you and push the other two.
Whatever you do don't think for one minute that you can't do it because I gave myself anxiety thinking the worst and you know what. It's actually not that bad smile not saying it was a breeze for me but take one day at a time when baby arrives and set yourself tiny goals to accomplish during the day. Above everything make sure you eat and drink. I didn't and made myself ill. My DD is now 19 months and my DS 6 months and apart from the normal everyday goings on (tantrums from toddler) it's actually really nice. DD has now started trying to share her toys with DS and DS absolutely adores her. His first laugh was for her and she can always make him do proper belly laughs whilst we fail! I say get the first 3 months out of the way and it gets easier and easier every day. And they'll be so close when they grow up together and be able to do similar activities! If you want to chat you can always drop me a PM.

Kmoggy Fri 01-Jan-16 10:54:00

Thanks, I needed to hear that as I have actually been debating whether to carry on with pregnancy. At first we thought to terminate as we just couldn't see how we could afford another so soon but then I realised I didn't want to do that.. Then my partner came round to my way of thinking and now I'm so worried about mentally coping I thought again last night I don't want to continue! I'm just so worried that I won't get out and that 1 yr olds are going to be so much harder than they were. I think we were soiled with the boys as both have been really easy babies. I honestly can say even the first3 months rent actually hard... I'm just so worried now that the new baby won't be like them and that they will be too energetic for me to cope! X I guess I just need to hear positive as well as realistic stories!

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Fri 01-Jan-16 11:02:29

You cope because you have to. Second babies are easier as you now have experience. You worry less.
You will be tired with two as with three - you cant be more tired!!
Get organised - going out bag always packed. Pick up and go.
Have a day off house work - a week - seriously its same time to clear two days mess as one... plus DH picked up the strain.
Be good to yourself.

TheEagle Mon 04-Jan-16 19:40:15

Firstly, remind yourself that you have managed newborn twins! Nothing that comes your way will be as tough smile

A good friend had the opposite to you - a 1 year old and newborn twins.

She enlisted all the help she could get and muddled through.

My older DS was 18.5mo when our twins were born and it was tough but manageable. We took all the help offered to us.

You'd be surprised how much your twins will have come on by the time they're 1 as well and they will be good company for each other.

As pixie said, don't forget to mind yourself as well because the days will be busy.

We found that keeping our toddler in his routine helped greatly when there were newborns in the house.
Good luck and congratulations flowers

TheEagle Mon 04-Jan-16 19:42:25

Oh and yy to trying not to worry. I spent a lot of my twin pregnancy tying myself up in knots worrying about random scenarios that never materialised.

You'll surprise yourself with what you are able to do and capable of.

LionWings Thu 07-Jan-16 08:54:52

My twins were 17 months when my third was born. The great thing with them being young is that they are really adaptable and won't bat an eyelid at having another baby appear in the house. We barely got out the door for the first few months (going out to the garden was an outing!).

I had no help so put the twins in nursery two days a week. In hindsight I wouldn't have done that, I thought having them out of the house would be easier but it would have been better to get a nanny who would take them to an activity for a couple of hours so get them out but also then take the baby so I could have had time with them.

I won't lie, it was incredibly hard but DS3 was a Velcro baby and a terrible sleeper. I expected to be able to spend time with the twins but he never napped in his cot so I always had to be carrying him.

DH really stepped up and I couldn't have got through it without a lot of help from him.

Breastfeeding was a godsend, I wouldn't have been able to juggle bottles as well (didn't manage to b/f the first two.

They are now 6 and 4 and its so much easier and they are all so close, plus they tend to like doing the same things. They really are lovely together (when they're not fighting). I see mums at school dragging a school child and toddler and baby around and it looks so hard. I do hope that for them having such a close bond will outweigh any disadvantages. DT1 had reflux which was never fully resolved and we've had a lot of issues with him over the years, basically attention seeking behaviour so I think he has found having so many demands on our attention the hardest.

I'm not sure if that will help or not, I feel its fairly negative but it was a really difficult time for us. Please let me know if you have any questions smile

Mummy2boys91 Thu 25-Feb-16 11:21:47

Hi kmoggy. I am in exactly same position right now so would be good to talk to you. I have boy twins just turned 5 months, found out two days ago I'm pregnant again! Finding it hard at the mo as was not planning on having another so soon.and worried sick. Also have a 4 year old. Hope to hear back from you. X

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