Desperate for more sleep!

(13 Posts)
dicko1 Mon 06-Apr-15 19:45:40

Any advise grately recieved.
I have triplets 6 months old and a 3 year old toddler. The girls (triplets) are all in the same room (there own) and individuallt sleep okay, but combined i get about three hours a night.
They were born very prem so still feed every 5 hours ish day and night. But baby 1 will wake at 10 for a feed, waking the other to up, sort her out settle her again and baby 2 wakes at 11 followed by baby 3 at 12, therefore im up 10-1! Baby 1 then wakes again at 3 to start all over again. Then my son wakes uo for the day at 6!!
My partner does try his best to help but workes extremly long hours so i feel her needs to get some sleep.
Any suggestions or do i need to plough on waiting for these night feeds to end.
I had help from a local charity the first 3 months at home so have only really been going it alone a month.

HappyAsASandboy Mon 06-Apr-15 21:52:08

That sounds exhausting sad Well done for coping for as long as you have.

I have to say up front that I don't have triplets. I have twins, who for the first four months took an hour to breastfeed each, and each started every 2.5 hours. So I basically fed DT1 for an hour, fed DT2 for an hour, and then had 30 mins to myself before DT1 woke again.... For 3 months. Things then spread out a bit, but from 4 months to 2.5 years it was pretty much bedtime feeds from 7pm and then 12.30 (DT1), 1am (DT2), 3.30am (DT1), 4am (DT2), 5.30am (DT1) and 6am (DT2) sad Not bad feeding patterns for each child, but a killer as the mum of both sad

First question has to be about feeding. Are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding? If you don't have to do all the feeds then you need to ask your DH to help. Yes, he works long hours, but as a working mum of twins, I assure you working out of the home is less exhausting than being a SAHM to multiple infants. If he is able to feed the babies (or even one/two of them), then he needs to step up in the evening. It really isn't unreasonable to ask him to feed the babies that wake at 10pm and 11pm, meaning he stays up til 12pm and you get up then to feed the last baby. He gets to sleep from 12pm, which includes the majority of "night hours", and you get to sleep uninterrupted from 8pm(?) until 12pm. I admit there won't be much time to see each other, but that's life with multiples in the very early years IME. If your DH start to do the 10pm and 11pm feeds, the. You could maybe start to wake the third baby at 11pm to feed alongside DH, to make the feeding more companionable and to mean you can sleep from 12pm instead of 1am.

If you are breastfeeding all three, then hats off to you! Being responsible for all the feeding shouldn't mean you shoulder all the night 'stuff' however - ask DH to stay with the babies until 12pm, waking you only to feed. There is an immense difference between sleeping while you are 'on duty', waiting for them to wake and feeling responsible, and sleeping when you know it is someone else's job to respond to them. Make that your DH's job from 8pm to 12pm.

Making DH step up until 12pm will make your DH tired. But not nearly as exhausted as you are. I remember going back to work when my DTs were 12 months and feeling so so rested. I was still feeding to a punishing schedule, and I commuted 2 hours each way on top of full time hours, but it was a rest to not be responsible for their lives. The commute was a restful time to get online shopping done or to read, lunchtime was a time to eat without a baby attached to some part of me, and the people I spoke to were responsible for their own toileting/feeding/safety. Your DH might well work long hours, but I guarantee that whatever his job, it holds less responsibility than keeping three babies alive and well.

I have rambled. But please ask for help from your DH, and please don't expect to be able to manage your triplets alone without any help. While DH I at work, you manage all three babies. When he's not at work, it really shouldn't be that he is 'off' while you continue to manage alone. At the very very least, he needs to be cooking/cleaning/washing oh god, imagine the washing from triplets after work so that you can sleep any chance you get in the day.

Ask for help. You are doing an amazing job, but an out-of-home-job really doesn't absolve your DH of long hours at home too....

HappyAsASandboy Mon 06-Apr-15 22:02:13

Also, I would recommend meeting up with friends a lot! The more adults you add to the situation, the more hands there are to hold a baby. If you can meet up with friends of your 3 year old, you can hand over a baby, or concentrate on babies while they help your 3 year old in the swings. Basically let your friends parent your kids too.

Where are you? If you're anywhere near me then I'm happy to meet up with my two four year olds and one 4 month old baby. Somehow 7 kids and two adults seems easier than the two separate families .... one mum can sit with many babies while the other helps many pre-schoolers etc

funchum8am Mon 06-Apr-15 22:10:36

I have no multiple advice to offer (I have two children 2yo and 3mo) but happy to help out if I am near you (I am in West Yorkshire.)

Agree entirely with pp that your DH needs to stay up for the first two feeds of the night.

Quitelikely Mon 06-Apr-15 22:13:57

Could you try to manipulate their feeds so they are all feeding closer together?

That is what I would try.

This is all temporary. It will pass.

flowers

Quitelikely Mon 06-Apr-15 22:16:11

Actually ignore my advice! I'm thinking once you start weaning things will improve.

dicko1 Tue 07-Apr-15 16:56:12

Thankyou all much im very grateful. I live lancashire. The daytimes im fine and although im never still i manage them and have so many family and friends here. I really think the difference is there daytime naps i put them in seperate rooms or they are in the pram because were out so they arent waking each other up. I am going to start the weaning as soon as but theres only 1 who can sit up yet. Hopefully then one of the late night feeds can be dropped x

Rootvegetables Tue 07-Apr-15 23:15:45

It sounds like you're doing really wel, it must be exhausting! I have twins and a 3 year old and my twins are awful sleepers easily waking 6+ times a night each so I have no idea of how to solve your problem. But some things that help me cope are if my husband takes them downstairs while he gets ready etc it can give me 45 mins of totally switched off sleep which is brilliant if it works. Also I've stopped looking at my clock, knowing for sure I was getting 2-3 hours a night doesn't help! Then when im up that's it I shower and do stuff. Otherwise, I'm miserable and bored and still tired anyway. I think 7 months in my body has adjusted to less sleep, sometimes I'm amazed I can function.

Twinchaos1 Mon 20-Apr-15 18:34:08

I only have twins and that was hard enough. I did give up on letting them have their own schedule, when twin 1 woke up twin 2 was woken up and fed at the same time. That said the first year was very hard for every one I know with multiples, it does get easier.

dicko1 Tue 21-Apr-15 20:19:33

Touch wood some miracle had happened and they have ALL dropped there middle of the night feed so feeling alot better getting about 6 hours a night x

Ratfinkandbobo Wed 22-Apr-15 23:06:30

You deserve a medal op! I had twins, that was bad enough, you have my full admiration!

Kelly1814 Sat 23-May-15 19:29:57

Jesus, I had one baby that fed every hour or two for six months and it nearly killed me..you ladies with multiples are wonder women.

Squeakycleansparkle Sat 23-May-15 19:33:53

This might not be popular advice but I had twins when my older one was 1 and the oy thing that got us through was getting a childminder to come in overnight. She charged us £6.50/HR babysitting rate and saved us from a certain breakdown. You don't have to get anyone registered of they're sitting in your own home. Book then, get earplugs and switch off. Ours came in twice a week.

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