Expecting Twins and Worried Sick

[HermioneGranger39]

I have recently found out I am expecting twins and I am worrying myself sick. I'm not so much worried about how I will cope, about finances, etc., at this stage, I am worried about the pressure of growing 2 babies!

I already have a son who is almost 2 and LOVED being pregnant with him, but the added responsibility of carrying 2 babies in one go is really worrying me!

I'm scared that everything may cause some harm to one/both of them. I have found myself waking up in the night worried that I have rolled over in my sleep and squashed them. I panic when I'm sick that the force of my stomach muscles tensing is going to hurt them, or that they aren't getting enough nutrients. yes I'm stupid and yes it's pathetic!

I only know 1 other person who has carried twins and one of hers was still born at 34 weeks, so I think my concern probably stems from the fact that I am inexperienced and naive about twin pregnancies and my only contact with a twin pregnancy ended in such a sad way.

I don't really know if I'm looking for advice, some hand holding or if I just needed to put down in writing how I feel. Sorry for going on!

[littlesupersparks]

I have found my twin pregnancy very anxious too. I had two very straightforward pregnancies before. It doesn't help that the hormones seem to be more than double and make me very emotional! I'm now 35 weeks pregnant and things seem to have gone fine so far but still3 weeks to go! Xxx

[slightlyinsane]

Firstly congratulations x give yourself a break finding out your having twins is a huge shock, I think I cried for the first couple of weeks. Twin pregnancies are tough and if you don't know anyone with twins or like yourself only seen / heard of awful outcomes of course you're going to be worried.
How many wks are you? Do you know what type of twins you are having?.
Some areas have twin groups you can go to where you can meet mum's of twins who are full of information and help. Stay away from Google it's not your friend. There are lots of twin groups on fb who can also offer support and advice.
My id girls are 10 months now and although it's hard work it's also amazing, feel free to pm me if you want a chat xx

[HermioneGranger39]

I have looked into twin groups buy my closest one is about 30 miles away from where I live and I work full time and have a toddler so not an option really.
I am around 10 weeks, so early days yet, which is another reason I think I'm worrying so much. :(
When did you guys find out you were having twins?
I have another scan booked for 8th April to make sure they are both OK before I go for my NT screening scan so I have all my fingers and toes crossed for them to be growing nicely and all healthy!

[Degustibusnonestdisputandem]

Congratulations! It certainly is a huge shock to find out you are carrying twins. My ID DTDs (MCDA) are 4 this summer; & yes the pregnancy was an anxious one, it's completely normal to feel that way (am sure the high dose of hormones doesn't help things!).
I found out when I was only 8 weeks, as I had a (wonderful) 'surprise' pregnancy and wasn't sure how far along I was.

I can understand your anxiety, especially with the person you know who lost hers - it's hard when you don't know anyone else who has had them - I found Mumsnet wonderful for this, so anything you need to ask/rant/stress about, we're here

[neversleepagain]

Congratulations!

Twin pregnancies are tough and considered high risk compared to a single pregnancy. You will be more closely monitored, I was seen every two week after 24 weeks. Many women carry twins and more successfully. I know a lot of twin mums from our local twins group, we all had two healthy babies in the end, although, some of us had tougher experiences than others.

My dcda (non id) girls are 2ys6 months. I had a good trouble free pregnancy and delivered two healthy babies :)

[littlesupersparks]

I found out at the 12 week scan - on my own as my husband was home with the other children.

I haven't gone to my local twins group yet. I've found all the 'twin advice' I've had has been so negative - a MW who has twins herself basically told me there was no way I would cope, I was told I would never be able to work until now but, although tiring, it was doable.

[CunningCat]

Congrats on your twins
I have non Id twin girls 6
I found out at 8 weeks, suspected ectopic, but all OK
Very shocked! I had a 19 and 16 year old!
They were born at 33 and were in nicu for 6 weeks, but are fine
It is only natural to worry, I did, you will be fine.
Post on her with any concerns.

[momtothree]

My husband said we are lucky, very few people get to experience twins... now 10 - it is a shock not only how u will be - i found hospital visits very negative - kept telling us what might go wrong - but keep the faith - you will notice lots of negative press on twins as if losing a twin is sadder than losing a single baby. Its not - just more newspaper worthy. Good luck.

[TheEagle]

Hi hermione, I'm currently 32+6 with DCDA twins.

We found out at our 12 week scan and it was a total shock! It was also a bit of a relief to have an explanation for why I felt so ill.

We have an almost 18 month old as well and have experienced a lot of negative comments about how we won't be able to cope etc. etc. I just brush those off with a big smile and say how excited we are and how great it is that there will be such closeness between the siblings.

I do find that the extra doctor and hospital visits make me a little more anxious than I was in my first pregnancy but on the other hand it's reassuring to know they're keeping a close eye on you.

I've been quite sick during the pregnancy - with non pregnancy related things! My DS brings home bugs from the crèche and I'm also a primary school teacher so germs are all around I've had several vomiting bugs where I've been convinced that I'm going to squish a twin!!!! But the doctors are delighted with the twins' progress so far and they are always active and growing really well.

Good luck, pregnancy is an anxious time all round I think and there can be a lot of negativity surrounding multiple birth.

Get plenty of rest and eat well when you can - I gobbled my way through the second trimester which was good because my tummy is too squashed to eat a lot now

And congratulations! I am so excited about holding my two little newborns. Best of luck for a smooth pregnancy. There's lots of super advice on here too

[HermioneGranger39]

It's really lovely to hear so many people offering support. As much as my family are trying to be supportive, they are in the same boat as me, having not had any experience of twins either!

I'm not really up on what the abbreviations mean for what type of twins I'm having yet, but mine have their owns sacs and placentas and are non-identical.

I also can't believe how ill I have been feeling! Morning sickness is a killer. I'm violently ill if I go without eating for even a few hours. I've gone and picked up a lovely cold as well.

[Twicethehugs]

If they're not identical there are fewer risks so take heart in that (e.g. TTTS can only happen when identical). I have 2 year old identical girls. I remember being worried a lot in pregnancy and was convinced they'd be early - ended up being induced at 38 weeks which surprised me! The pregnancy was really tiring but I didn't have any other pregnancy to compare it to, which may have been helpful. With twin pregnancies, there are a lot of medical appointments but at least you know you'll be monitored closely. Hope all goes well.

[Diamondsareagirls]

Hi Hermione. I had non-identical twins a year ago and I had a healthy and complication free pregnancy. I was induced at 37 weeks and we left the hospital a day after I had them so it can all go to plan. It is definitely more challenging carrying two but you will have more scans, checks etc to make sure everything is going to plan.
Don't feel bad about feelings a bit freaked out. Take your time to get used to it, write down the questions you have so you can bombard your midwife/ consultant with them :) x

[familyfortunes]

Hi Hermione, my non - identical daughters will be 6 months old this week, and my son will be 2 in May. I had a trouble free pregnancy, was definitely more tired and a lot bigger, the girls were both over 6lbs and continue to thrive xx

[CunningCat]

Empathise with feeling very ill and sickness, I had it too.
Try to eat small amounts, but more often. I also used anti-sickness bands, designed for travel sickness, they helped.

[AlpacaLypse]

Like CunningCat I had an early scan for suspected ectopic (family history) - which showed two tiny comma shapes, not one!

I did worry, of course I did, right through. It's horrid that you can't be certain that they're both okay because movements of one may be masking the possibility that the other isn't moving. That kept me awake at four o'clock in the morning more than a few times...

I found the best way forward was acceptance - that some things are not changeable, no matter how informed we are, no matter how much time and money we invest in medical care and medical research. What will be will be. All we can do is keep ourselves fit and healthy, hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

When I did go into labour a few weeks early, I found I had a curious sense of wellbeing. Although I signed a lot of consent forms for all sorts of potential possible emergencies, I was quietly certain that everything would be fine, a massive contrast to how I'd felt earlier on in the pregnancy.

And dtds ? They'll be taking their GCSEs later this spring! Both predicted a nice batch of A*'s (very blatant unstealthy proud mummy boasting)!

[Ratfinkandbobo]

Hi, another mum of twins here. It is only natural to worry, as like you I was in massive shock! My pregnancy wasn't even planned. Take each day as it comes. Like pp said those anti sea sickness bands helped me (a bit!) With the awful Sicky feeling. I will be watching with interest! Congratulations and best of luck x

[elisio1]

Another mother of twins here - mine were numbers 3 and 4, with a 2 year old and 4 year old already in tow.

"Shocked" would be an understatement for how I felt when i found out at 12 weeks. "Devastated" would be more accurate. I had severe ante-natal depression throughout my pregnancy and thought my life was over.

BUT- and please read on! - when they were born, the depression began to lift, and things began to get better. We had organised to have all hands on deck, and things were so much easier than I was expecting.

They are turning two in a few months, and I have honestly enjoyed the last two years. It has been hard work of course, but manageable and I feel proud of how we've all coped. They are both delightful little toddlers now,and I look back at my pregnancy and wonder how I can have had the thoughts I had.

Btw my pregnancy was fine physically-speaking. I was not much more uncomfortable with two than I had been with one, and I carried them to 38 weeks. Both good weights, at least 6lb, and we were out of hospital after a few days.

Having said all that, if you can get any extra help for the early months, do!

Good luck, and remember that humans(and particularly mums!) are amazingly resilient creatures and adjust to the craziest situations! Ignore those doom-mongers who say you won't cope. You will manage. And even enjoy it from time to time!

[hollynoble]

Hi there,

Im just coming up to 19 weeks, and am pregnant with non id twins. Its so lovely to read everyones posts as I have to say im feeling very anxious that something could happen to the babies. When i found out about the twins (at 13 weeks) i decided to try and read up as much as possible which ended up not being very helpful as everything on the internet is so negative! I found it very hard to find any positive information and am now constantly worried about a late stage miscarriage happening.

I think the other part im finding hard is the lack of information im getting from my midwife and the team im under. I know i have more scans but apart from that I have had a little or no information about a birth plan, antenatal classes, possible complications, what happens if they're premature etc etc.

Its really hard not too worry (i have actually booked private scans on top of my standard care) but just have to keep positive, look after myself and aim to get these babies to 37 weeks and for them to be as healthly as possible.

On another note, id be really keen to hear from people about their birth experience as im trying to decide wether to attempt a natural birth or c-section.

[Cheesewithbread]

I have 2.5 yr old twins.

It is scary and I suffer from anxiety so I don't know how I did it but you just do. I opted for a planned section and I still don't know how I did that but it was all fine.

I found my hormones calmed me down half way through my pregnancy. It was worrying but you get checked more and are under a consultant.

I remember worrying about trying for a baby and then finding out I had two was completely overwhelming but at least I was already having cbt at the time so had someone to talk to about my worries straight away.

Speak to your midwife about your fears. They might be able to make arrangements so you can see the same midwife throughout your pregnancy. Rest assured all the worries are normal, just try and take it easy and fit in some things you enjoy doing. Big hugs.