Should my b/g twins go in separate classes?

[JuliaGulia]

They start at reception school in September. My ex-husband and the children's nursery want them to into separate classes to help each one on them flourish.
I think after 4 years together, it seems awfully cruel to now say they can't see each other everyday.

WWYD?

[OwlCapone]

They will see each other every day. Just not for small portions of the school day.

At our primary, it seems the norm to split twins up.

[Northumberlandlass]

I haven't got twins.
There were 2 sets in DS's year. One lot were kept together & one separated.
I know that the DM of the ones who were separated did it because one of the DT was very confident and one shy/nervous. Shy DT relied heavily on the other and the DM wanted her to flourish, which she did.

Your DT will see each other - every play time & lunch time.

Absolutely your & ExDH call though, only you know your children.

[chutneypig]

It's tricky. We had no choice in reception as there's only a y1/r class at our school. In terms of them being independent of each other we have had no real issues, more at playtime than in class, which separate classes wouldn't solve anyway. Our biggest issue was in previous years in terms of behavious. DD is a butter wouldn't melt child at school, DS not. She was always held up as a shining example to the class, which usually resulted in DSs behaviour taking a nose dive. The HT actually told us he was surprised that twins were competitive but did take steps to manage praising DD without inciting all out war. We had the opportunity to split them in yr 1 but that would have resulted in one of them going up to the class above, we'd have jumped at it in equivalent classes but that felt like it would cause massive problems. Their current teacher is a master at managing class interactions, including them and we've had no issues this year aside from them being separated at playtime occasionally.

It's difficult to predict and definitely depends on the children involved, ours are very different but one isn't really more dominant than the other.

[Twicethehugs]

Mine are only 17 months so it's a while off yet but I can't imagine wanting to separate them when they start school. I think it's one of the advantages of being a twin that they won't have to start school on their own! Saying that I know parents who have chosen to separate theirs even at nursery, mostly due to behaviour. TAMBA have information on this which I think you can access even if you're not a member as it's a common issue to be worried about. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[mandy214]

IMO, no. I think b/g twins naturally gravitate to different activities / friendship groups when they're at school. There are lots of instances too where the class will be divided so 4 will do reading, 4 will do craft or whatever.

I think it can be comforting to have them together in the same class and from a logistical point of view its easier - class assemblies / parents event / covering the same topic at the same time. As they go up the school, at my school 1 class did swimming for the 1st half of the year, the other class did it for the 2nd half of the year. Managing all that (maybe switching private swimmming lessons etc) would be a nightmare.

The caveat to that is as someone has said previously, if its actually preferable to split them ie one is too dependant on the other, less likely to mix. My reasoning would be o look for justification to split them, rather than justification to keep them together. My DD have 4 sets in her year - 2 sets have stayed together, 2 have been separated.

I'm a twin (was in the same class throughout school as my twin) and I have b/g twins in the same class. Obviously its down to personal preference but I would keep them together.

[TurquoiseDress]

I would say yes- my younger siblings are boy/girl twins, from infant school they were placed in separate classes which enabled them to make their own friends, gain some independence from each other and not necessarily be referred to as "the twins" by everybody.

They will see each other every day, they just won't be in the same classes together. My siblings didn't seem to be adversely affected by this- in fact it increased their circle of friends and gave them new confidence in themselves rather than just relying on each other.

[LalaDipsey]

What do you want to do? My b/g twins are 2.5 and although I'm not worrying about it yet I'm hoping by the time they're 4 they will be able to express a preference. From the single mother POV - I am a single mother too and balancing the twins with dd (4) school activities has already been hard (assemblies / parents evenings etx) so I completely agree with the point of that. My daughters school have two reception classes and they have had separate assemblies this week. I hope to go back to work when the twins goto school and won't be able to have 2 late starts in a row for. 2 assemblies!

[Comingfoccacia]

My b/g twins were together in Reception but in separate claases from Y1. The change in Dts was amazing, he relished being out if dsis' shadow and really thrived. Their teachers say they rarely bother with other at school. They get on really well at home and still share a room (as too poor to move!). I guess it depends on each set of twins.

[17leftfeet]

I'm a b/g twin and we were split from yr1 as that was the school policy and I'm really thankful for it

During primary we were individuals, had our own friends, were invited to different parties (twins have to learn this) and had our own experiences

We both went to the same high school and were in different form groups but had classes together where subjects were streamed -we both hated it!

Physically we were very different, I was head and shoulders taller than my brother through most of high school and it always drew comment, teachers would openly compare us and people would ask us where the other one was, why did they do that -I even had a teacher ask me to have a word with my brother on a school trip because he was messing about -turned out it wasn't even my brother but another boy who shared our surname and was taller so he just assumed he was my twin!

If you have the option of different classes then I always advise splitting twins, they are just siblings, no different and they need to be allowed to develop as individuals, constantly being with their sibling stifles this