"You've got your hands full!'(26 Posts)
Anyone got a succinct or witty response to this annoying - and obvious - observation from Joe public?
paperdress my DH has a colleague who has 2 DC, the eldest the same age as our DC1 and the younger the same age as our DTs. He is forever saying to DH 'you just don't understand how hard it is with two' to which my DH justifiably pulls this face and says in a very deliberate tone 'no, you're right, I have no idea what it is like to have 2 children' - colleague cant see the irony, maybe that t-shirt would be a good idea for DH!!
Always at the supermarket...i think when people see twins they just feel compelled to comment, and blurt out any old nonsense, usually benign, but soooo tedious when you have heard it twenty million times before...
I absolutely know this is smug and irritating but i heard of a twin dad who wore a t-shirt whilst pushing double buggy saying 'i laugh at your one child'. (not my OH i must add, but it raised a multiple parent chuckle in me)
I just hope my 2 dont get too sad/irritated/frustrated when they are old enough to clock these uninvited comments from all and sundry in the checkout queue...what do parents of older multiples think?...
I think I have perfected this. they key is that all responses are said with a big beaming smile
no matter how much you want to throttle the little cherubs that day :
you've got your hands full= I know, wonderful isn't it?/i'm so lucky
double trouble = no, just double the joy/love
rather you than me = yes, i'm so lucky/blessed
I don't know how you do it = with plenty of love and a good sense of humour
I don't envy you = (I hate this one so I tend to be rude back) well I don't envy you much either.
Are they natural = (another really hated one) does it matter?
have to say the 'are they twins' thing doesn't bother me, I could be a child minder etc. the are they identical thing is daft but I don't let that bother me and just say no.
Legally blonde - you have just described what sounds like a day in my life
I also find the "Are they all yours?" question a bit weird. Once, I was going up some steps into a cafe - a man was helping to carry the double buggy & DD was bumbling along beside me. A woman with a child was walking down the steps & she said to her son: "Move out the way, that childminder needs to get past". As I walked into the cafe I was muttering to myself "not a childminder actually".. I couldn't decide whether to feel insulted or not, it was just a bit strange!
Oh, all the twin comment and stares annoy me so much, however well intentioned. I also have a three yo DD with the five week old twins and am shocked at how negative some people are... And stupid. By way of example.... had all three in hospital today for a hip scan for the twins and was lugging the baby seats plus dragging DD down endless corridors. Lots and LOTS of "you've got your hands full"... Err, yes, so could you at least hold the door open please!!! "Oh dear, double trouble"..... [hot and bothered by now] oh eff off. One "Rather you than me!" comment.... Okaaay, feel super lucky to have three healthy lovely children, so yes, rather me I guess... From the receptionist who had just taken names and notes for twin boy and girl "Are they identical"... Really, someone else who doesn't get this?!!?!? And the oddest, that I get A LOT "Is that twins? Are they yours?" Ummm... They're 5 week old babies... Def twins. And mine? Yes. Funnily enough I haven't borrowed someone else's children for this fun trip....?!?! Irrational I know, but I find the stoping in the street by strangers really intrusive. But I am aware most people mean well. When I was pregnant and people knew it was twins (and that I have DD, then 2), I got lots of "Poor you"... The pregnancy was hard and there was a fear of losing them at 23 weeks (thankfully I had a cervical stitch that worked), so those comments made me particularly cross.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Chutney - I was asked the same by my doctor (female though so not the same one as yours) - worrying isn't it?
I am also often asked whether my twins are twins or just siblings - DTD is only 3 inches shorter and a bit lighter (no idea what they weight now) and is a lot more advanced in speech etc - DTS is small for his age too - as they are only 22 mo how could they possibly not be twins??
My two had a similar weight difference and we always got asked if they were twins. Mind you, one was blond and blue eyed and the other very dark.
I actually had a doctor ask me - so your daughter and her twin brother, are they identical? I just stared at him.
I get mad when people say 'oh you have two! But they're not twins are they?!' DTD is petite for her age, and DTS big, but if they weren't twins there'd have to be at least 9 months between them and the difference isn't THAT significant (3lb). They look alike too, so it's obvious they're related and that I'm not minding one of them. Even more annoying than 'wow, a boy and a girl! Are they identical?'!
I don't have twins but a 4yr old, 2.5yr old and a 1yr old and get that comment nearly everyday. I hate the negativity of it and always answer with a positive. Like no no they keep me fit, keep me young, three times the fun, three times the cuddles etc etc.
We as their parents know its hard work but we are probably more organised, more together and calmer than those saying it. Love my wee people, its Team BabsAndTheRu against the world.
People are only acknowledging the babies usually it's only meant in a jokey/kind or interested way.
I know how stressful it is trying to get the shopping done though before the next thing needs doing or they all kick off.
I feel a little bit sad nowadays. All mine are older (dts now12) and no-one notices anymore
Commenting on the condoms in the shopping though?? What can you say?
I've got 3 boys, an 8 year old and 3 year old ID twins. When people say that comment, I just say 'I know, aren't I lucky' sincerely and with a smile, which usually does the trick.
'Double trouble' gets 'Oh, no! Doubly blessed!'
It really annoyed me when I was expecting that as soon as I let on I was having twins, people would tell me horror stories or make the 'double trouble' type comments, so I was always ridiculously positive in return and that habit has stuck
Oh and the Tesco check out lady who, when putting the 'extra safe condoms' through the till pointed at the twins and said 'oooh yes, you'll be wanting these..', but found this quite funny
Think I was feeling particularly grumpy when I started this thread last week after a harassed trip around Tesco.
This week, my response was 'tell me something I don't know!' Said with a sickly smile but seemed to abruptly end the conversation
When out and about with all the time in the world, I don't mind well intentioned comments. Its just that when trying to do the weekly shop, I know that I have (at best) around half an hour before one of the babies kicks off, so I want to be in and out. Its utterly ridiculous how many people don't get the hint, and stop me, try to manhandle babies, send their kids to look/stroke them (during back to school sickness season around our town), surround me at check out etc.
The classic was yesterday. I was trying to get older dcs into car in a busy supermarket car park (inc 3 year old who I was grabbing by wrist to prevent her running off), plus had babies in their pram parked up near my car boot. A woman in a car swerved up to mine, blocking the access to my boot, and started with 'twins, how lovely, are they identical/sleeping/etc' and wouldn't shift!!
For double trouble I put on a big grin and say no it's double the cuddles
Try "you sayin' one of 'em is bad?" quite aggressively
I have b/g twins and it seems this is carte Blanche to decide that I don't need to have any more children and that I am lucky to have got it all out of the way in one go. Drives. Me. Insane.
No answers - anyone got one for 'double trouble' or 'which is the good one?'!
Nope, haven't thought of one yet! It annoys me when I get asked if they are identical after establishing that one is a boy and the other is a girl...last time I checked one had a penis.
knackered I love seeing their jaws drop when you say that! Mine a fab sleepers too and I love saying that to people. They are easy going babies and not a handful at all
Most people are polite, sometimes unintentionally irritating and rarely rude. I did get 'twins, how awful' once, which made me . Hard work, yes. Awful, no. Fortunately, she went on to tell me how her daughter didn't sleep at all at night (something I wouldn't wish on anyone), but imagine my delight, after being insulted, in telling her that my twins have slept through since 12 weeks (well 10pm till 5 am ).
Man have I heard that phrase a few billion times! I don't mind it as much as "I don't know how you do it," which I am sure is well intentioned, but irritates me. Maybe that is because it implies you can't possibly be managing that well.
I tend to laugh and agree when I get the "hands full" comment, but I would love to try out a new response. Be great if someone comes up with something original.
I just smile nicely & carry on with what I'm doing, whilst thinking "Again??" or just "fuck off & leave me alone" It depends on how much sleep I've had really...
The most annoying comments are ones such as: "Are those twins in there? Well, I DON'T envy you" and all the various ones along those lines.
If someone is watching me struggling with my tantruming toddler, whilst trying to steer a double buggy/put the twins in car seats, the most helpful thing they can say is "Would you like a hand?". Luckily there are lots of lovely folk about, as well as the bloody annoying ones
I never found that comment annoying. Even one baby keeps your hands full.
Thankfully everyone I have come across has been lovely when they see the girls and say nice things like "you are so lucky", "they are so lovely" etc.
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