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2 Twin questions, your experience appreciated!(7 Posts)
I have (gorgeous) 21 month old non identical twin girls. We're all doing well but I have 2 questions for all experienced twin mums please!
The first is biting. One of my girls lashes out at the other in frustration/anger usually and bites the other. I can't tell you how many times I've done the super nanny naughty corner thing. She is in no doubt that its unacceptable, but she still does it.
I find it so upsetting and the other one is getting really scared. It's so horrible. Anyone had similar and got some good ideas?
The other thing is talking. I'm expecting them to be saying a good few words and the odd sentence but they have only just got mummy and daddy down. Should I be worried? In my head I think that they seem to understand each other and therefore don't seem to feel as much need as maybe a single baby to talk. What do you think?
Thanks anyone out there
Hi. I also have twin non identical twin girls - but now eleven. The first thing I'd say is that 21 months is so young. She doesn't really know biting is unacceptable yet. Things will change in the next year or so but really she is still such a baby and unable to think in such a sophisticated way to know that it is wrong. She is frustrated and acting on instinct in her biting. I know that doesn't help you much because it is a difficult situation to deal with but it will get better. In terms of talking, verbal ability usually 'takes off' at about 22 or 23 months. There is a good book called 'Baby talk' that I remember borrowing from the library. 'One on one' time would be really good for your girls if it was possible to do that in terms of language development and dealing with frustration, but I know that is really hard to do. All I can say is 'hang on', it will get easier as they get older and they are able to play more happily with each other. Thinking of you. The first few years are hard but honestly as they get older you will get the pay back for all your efforts now.
It will get better eventually.
I don't think a 21 month old will get time out. We used to make a huge fuss of the bitten one and tell the biter firmly that biting hurts.
I found giving the biter something to chew on helped, I think some dc just really enjoy the sensation of biting.
Someone else recommended teeth are not for biting. Didn't get round to buying it though.
Teeth are not for biting just encouraged my DD! She bit her twin brothers every day for the first year of their lives, along with any other poor child who got in her way. We tried everything, eventually she just stopped.
I know it's not very encouraging (and I know how awful it is when one child you love hurts the other, sometimes with glee!), but it is a phase and she will grow out of it. I echo making a fuss of the injured party, a firm statement that biting is wrong and then move on and distract. And they are just babies - they'll seem much more grown up to you, because you spend every day with them and know them so well, but when you look back at photos you'll realise how little they still are and wonder why you expected so much of them! Sending you lots of sympathy and
Thankyou so much for the advice and support.
I will keep the faith!
I just wanted to reassure you that the biting is completely normal and quite common in twins. I have boy/girl twins and the first thing they did when they could move independently was seek each other out for a good bite. Then as they got older it was used more in anger. they don't have much else to express themselves with and they are facing competition much more than a singleton.
I thought I had raised feral children but it is actually very common - although not very pleasant. It was also difficult because I think often parents of singletons don't understand and the worry is that your children get branded as 'rough' or 'aggressive'.
You are doing the right thing. Just repeat, repeat, repeat and it will eventually get through.
With the language again I wouldn't worry they are still quite young. I'm sure you do this already but try lots of singing with them and talking one to one when you can. If it really is an issue it will get picked up later on i.e. preschool. It all sounds very normal to me.
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