31+4 with DCDA twins and just looking for a bit of companionship during the countdown...

(237 Posts)
legallyblond Wed 31-Jul-13 17:07:12

.... That's it really!

I have an almost 3 yo DD (she'll be 2.11 if they arrive when anticipated) and am still working full time (10 hour days as a lawyer) and, just this week, the exhaustion has hit. I'm planning to work until 34 weeks and have an elcs booked for 37+3.... It feels a long way away!

I am starting to get nervous about it all (I have been nervous throughout though!):

- nervous about bf - I ebf DD until we did baby led weaning and then carried on bf until she was 2, but a bit scared it won't work with 2, also becasue no sign of leaking colostrum and much smaller boobs than last time... and I never pumped or gave DD a bottle (of either my milk or formula - she was a total boittle refuser), so will be clueless (and disappointed that I'm not giving them the same as DD) if bf doesn't work or they're in NICU...

- nervous they'll be permature - I really, really want to make it to 36 weeks at least and would LOVE for them to just wait until the elcs date (for practical reasons like childcare too!). I had a "scare" at 23/24 weeks when my cervix was v short so I had a cervical stitch to prevent them coming. It did the job (my cervix doubled in length and has stayed long) so I am VERY grateful for getting this far, but stilll.... I dread the thought of NICU...

- nervous about the elcs and the recovery - I had a natural birth last time (albeit with an episiotomy, so recovery wasn't a bed of roses) so have no idea really... plus there's DD.. eek! I have chosen elcs becasue (a) they're transvers and breech now; and (b) in any event, I am uncomfortable about the potentially avoidable risks of an induction gone wrong... (that is despite being induced with DD at 40+12 and it being ok - G&A only and episiotomy the only real complication)..

- nervous about life with a toddler and twins. Need I say more? Still, I keep telling myself, I know what to do with one, so worst case, I just do everything twice, right??? In a sense, I feel pretty confident about my mothering ways (basically the opposite of Gina Ford I'm afraid!), but do keep hearing everyone saying how awful it will be with twins and how I MUST get a routine. I actually loved the newborn stage with DD and found it pretty easy (bf was great for me), so I am nervous that my bubble is about to be burst...

I guess all this is normal but just wanted to vent / share! Plus share the ride with those in a similar position....

Linguaphile Mon 12-Aug-13 16:16:34

Yeah, confrontation is horrible...Maybe if you brought in the recent study from the RCOG (there's one that talks about best outcomes with planned births at 37 weeks), that might be helpful?

andadietcoke Mon 12-Aug-13 17:02:20

Thanks - have stored it on my phone so I can refer to it, and have also asked some medic friends for advice on how much they have to follow NICE guidelines and/or Royal College guidelines.

legallyblond Mon 12-Aug-13 17:22:00

Cornwall - I have an absolute stinker of a cold too. I feel totally rotten... Good luck for Thurs.. Keep us posted!

Beaches - thank you so much. So positive! Up till now I have been v pro elcs, but am starting to doubt myself (DD was a normal delivery, albeit induced at 42 weeks and I had an episiotomy)... Last scan they were transverse and breech, so we'll see at 34 week scan on Fri.

Toddler - also huge thanks for the positivity! I get so angry when I say its twins (and that I have a DD) and people are literally (well practically) grimacing saying "oh poor you". F**K OFF! I'm thrilled, nervous and longing every day that they will both be alright and safe and healthy... How dare you!!!

Lingua - so glad some of your worries have been resolved. And Anda - please try not to worry about confrontation in this situation. They won't take it remotely personally and it really is something you have a right to fight for. Remind me, when is the appointment? My next one is Fri...

So, so glad I started this thread!

andadietcoke Mon 12-Aug-13 17:29:07

legallyblond yes - very glad you started it too! Hope your last few days at work go quickly!

Appt is tomorrow. Scan first, then midwife, then doctor. Not looking forward to it at all.

legallyblond Mon 12-Aug-13 18:03:39

Good luck anda, can your DP come along and help you fight your corner?

Meant to say thank you to Happyasasandboy too! I was like that with DD too - fairly boy scout ish... Thanks for the routine stuff too. Lots of people have said "oh you'll have to have a strict routine... But that so wasn't my style with DD and I loved it! Just reading her cues... I sm aware I'll have other demands, in particular the morning school run.. But I can work round that!

andadietcoke Mon 12-Aug-13 18:16:56

He is coming. He's not the most assertive person though! He's very (very) laid back and will assume that whatever they suggest will be 'right'. He knows I'm worried but I've been anxious throughout the pg after a mc in November and have largely tried to keep it to myself because he doesn't understand.

andadietcoke Tue 13-Aug-13 14:18:59

So, I came, I stood up for myself, and it still all went a bit wrong. Amazingly I have now finished all my antenatal appts and still haven't seen a consultant!

Twin 1 is now breech and Twin 2 is oblique so no discussion about method of birth - straight to an ELCS. I asked for no later than 38+0 which they agreed to, and then when they went to book it the earliest I could have was 38+2 because of the bank holiday at 37+6 and they only do them mon to fri if elective - they said 37+3 was too early. I know when I conceived and I will actually be 37+6 on my c-section date so have decided I can live with that. They've also said I don't need steroids, despite being told previously they would give them to me.

But....I have a plan, and a date to work towards, which is definitely progress! Just need to work out if the lower back pain I've had for the last 24 hours is as a result of having 14lb of baby in me or is early labour!

legallyblond Tue 13-Aug-13 14:45:31

Andadietcoke - I think that's good news!!

Does the date fit in ok with you re DP and school etc?

I'm a bit hmm that they think that 37+3 is too early... That's when my hospital have picked for D day (and I also know exactly when I conceived.... Lovely accident, and only opportunity!!!.. And I'll only be 37 weeks exactly). Hmm.

Also, I would have been v surprised if they had given steroids then. 37 weeks is term after all!

But well done you!!!!

twinteresting Tue 13-Aug-13 14:55:35

Well done andadietcoke

Not sure I know what oblique means(!)
SO much to learn
Trying to get organised but somehow it's 3 oclock and i have not achieved v much at all today.

andadietcoke Tue 13-Aug-13 15:03:54

legally remember this is the hospital that would have let me go to 39w though! They said they'd give steroids because it wouldn't do any harm. Just another example of contradictory advice within the same dept! It's not too early at all - the NICE guidelines say anything after 37w is fine.

twinteresting oblique is diagonal. She was transverse last time so somewhere in between transverse and cephalic I guess!

andadietcoke Tue 13-Aug-13 15:05:54

Oh and legally nope, the date is about as bad as it could get. They said they'll keep me in for 3 days which means I'll probably get discharged on 1st September. DH back to school on the 2nd and can't take any time off that week.

My consultant who was lovely and listened to my concerns scheduled my ELCS for 38+1 despite me asking for 37 weeks. He said that 38 weeks would ensure they are big and healthy babies who wouldn't need any special care. I agreed as I trusted him (I saw the same consultant from weeks 10-34 as was originally consultant led because of gall stones).

Didn't make 38 weeks though!

andadietcoke Tue 13-Aug-13 15:55:48

neversleep thanks for that - am also hoping I don't make it that far so I can have some time with DH at home before school starts again. I do trust them, but am a bit worried about how much bigger Twin 2 might get - 8lb2 today!

legallyblond Tue 13-Aug-13 16:00:12

8lb 2!!!!?? How many weeks are you now? That seems huge! DD, a singleton, was 8lb 4 at 40+14, so 42 weeks! I wonder if that's right... Sizing scans are notorious for being off. If it is though, I am sure you will "pop" sooner than planned. Your body isn't insane!

legallyblond Tue 13-Aug-13 16:02:25

Part of the reason, maybe, for my slightly earlier elcs is that ideally they don't want me going into labour because I have a cervical stitch in....

twinteresting Tue 13-Aug-13 16:10:55

oh anda - what anightmare about timings

Is there anyone else who can come and help out on your return?

andadietcoke Tue 13-Aug-13 16:11:51

legally yes, that would make sense.

I'm 36+0 and really hoping the weight estimates are off. She found it really hard to scan Twin 1 as she was so curled up.

Twin 1 is 2471g and Twin 2 is 3748g which is quite a difference. She was 2224g at 32 weeks and is currently above the 95th centile for AC and HC. Has to be wrong, surely?!

Cornwall73 Tue 13-Aug-13 18:18:00

anda, well done for getting a date but nigthmare about the timing! if they are estimating big hopefully they may come early. 37 wks is considered term so you'll be fine about the steroids. Our hospital delivers by 38wks and gives the injections as standard at 36 wks as it is a busy high level NICU so in their interest to make sure all multiples that make it to their induction/c sec date need as little help as possible and can go home as soon as they are feeding well and mum is okay.

Wow that is a big estimate!

Sonographer was spot on with both mine, was scanned at 34+4, she estimated 6lb1 & 5lb7, had them at 34+5 and those were the exact weights!

Cornwall73 Tue 13-Aug-13 19:57:57

At 35+2 mine were estimated as 6lb 3oz and 6lb 4oz. I asked the consultant and apparently there is normally a 10% margin of error for singletons which increases to 15% with multiples as it is hard to measure them when the scan images are so cramped. I think I'm going to guess them to be around that mark when they arrive on Thursday at 37+3.

It can be such an inexact science!

chutneypig Wed 14-Aug-13 06:27:01

On the subject of weights....

They estimated my two at around 8 lb at 37w3 which is why they scheduled a section at 37w6, as they felt it was getting too much for me physically. DS was nearest the business end and was showing no signs of shifting the day of the section. He weighed in at 9 lb2 and DD at 5lb10. Bit off in both directions!

Linguaphile Wed 14-Aug-13 09:46:06

Anda--ah man, sorry about the timings. sad Glad you've at least got something to work toward, though, and that is one big baby you've got! Maybe you can just pack your bag for a c-section delivery and pray things get going on their own a little earlier? Mine were measuring about 3.5 and 3.7 lbs at 32 weeks, so I'm hoping they're a little more robust when I go for my 36-wk appointment.

Chutney--WOW that is a massive baby!

Cheerymum Wed 14-Aug-13 17:37:01

Anda, sorry to hear about the crappy timing - do you have any one else who could help you in your first few days at home? There is some error in the weights, as others have said. Chutney - my goodness, what a whopper!!
I had good news today - they were worried last week about early twin twin transfusion, but dopplers today were ok so we can hang on for another growth scan in a week's time and reassess, provided they continue good wriggly scrapping in the meantime. By then I'll be 33 weeks, just taking it a week at a time and hoping to get to September.

legallyblond Wed 14-Aug-13 18:35:02

Cheery - brilliant news!!!

Cornwall73 Wed 14-Aug-13 20:13:28

Yeah! Well done babies!!!

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