Lack of routine, when do I worry?

[itchyandscratchy26]

Apols for 1 handed typing. My DTs are boy/girl 9 weeks. They were born at 36+3 and are healthy. We are really struggling to get any sort of consistent routine. They are FF on Aptamil. My boy has colic ( we think) and is now on special milk for this.
Evenings are a battle. DH tries to be back by 6.30. We were bathing alternate days but I think a bath every night will help routine. Is this true?
They seem to scream and not settle from 6pm til around 9 or 10pm. We try to bath between 7pm and 9pm but struggle to be consistent. Our evenings are gone - all swallowed up by grabbing food on the go, bathing and finally giving in and going to bed when the twins finally sleep.
How do we regain control and get them settled and asleep by 8ish after feed/bath. Is it dooable? Should we try them in separate rooms.
Do any of you have your DTs in consistent routine at 9 weeks?

[racingheart]

Hi
Sounds like you're doing well. Maybe not what you wanted to hear, but we had a very strong routine going with DTs from birth, with a bath every night but nothing prevented them screaming from 6-9pm. This was mainly because of the reflux/colic. If one isn't suffering, it may be worth getting that one into a routine. I discovered belatedly that DT1 was screaming because he was shattered and kept awake by DT2 screaming the house down with reflux pain. In retrospect, I'd have settled DT1 much earlier.

At about 9 weeks DT1 was in a pretty steady routine, especially with his waking patterns at night. But DT2 never had a routine as he was in pain. However, they both had a great napping routine - not as early as two months, but at some stage they had regular naps from 10.30-11.30 and then again from 1.30-3.30. Life savers!

Keep the colicky baby propped up a lot, get a check for reflux as meds do help with this a fair bit. Keep lights low, and stock up on ready meals. This time will pass, but you do get tired. Stick with the routine as far as possible, if only for your own benefit. It's easier not to make mistakes when you're shattered if you are in a routine.

Having twin babies is hard work at first. Long term, having twins is so cushy. Much easier imo that siblings of different ages.

[itchyandscratchy26]

Thanks. Did you separate them into different toons? At the moment I have DT1 overnight in spare room, and DH has DT2. We're getting more sleep this way, but both DTs still wake at around 2am and again around 4.30-5 am. When they're 6m they will go into their own room, but I'm wondering if they will then start to keep each other awake again

[itchyandscratchy26]

Different rooms, not toons, flipping I phone

[neversleepagain]

Like racing said, a routine doesn't mean they will stop being whingy during the witching hours. Mine took a few weeks to settle down in the evenings and DT1 screamed for 3 solid hours from weeks 9-11 between 7:30pm-11pm! We found it very stressful as I am sure you do too.

I personally would persevere with the routine and eventually you will find things falling into place and the DT's settling in the evenings.

If you have the space to separate them then do if you find it works, however, I personally think it is good to let them get used to each others crying/noise. My girls share a bedroom (10 months old) and one can sleep through the other ones crying. Also, if they wake each other they are very quick at going back to sleep.

I remember those early weeks well. It does it easier and they do eventually settle. Good luck :)

[FreeButtonBee]

I didn't bother with a routine until the crazy cluster feeding screechy evening periods ended at 12-13 weeks. I think until they get over that, it's just an extra stress for you! Once that ended, I did bath every night, into grobag then feed into submission (bf so took a looooonggg time for that last feed).

[toomuchpink]

Hi itchy. Yes, I agree with the others. It is totally normal to lose your evenings with one baby of that age let alone two. It does get better, just not soon enough! I agree that a bath seems to help and if nothing else it helps pass the time during that moody period. Around 12 weeks I created a napping routine in the day. By about four months I think the bath, "feed into submission" evening routine was going quite a bit better, in that they would go to sleep earlier on. I think we probably edged it backwards until we were getting them to bed at 7.30pm. I'm sure I worried lots about whether I was doing the right thing when I was at your stage, but what you need is for them to get a bit older, and then you will probably be able to get your routine going.