23 weeks' pregnant, someone lent me the Gina book on twins...(12 Posts)
ps. like gardenpixy I thought some of the book was rubbish! e.g. the bits written by Alice Beer ! Don';t know why, I think it was the fact that she made it sound like if you didn't do a Gina routine then your life would be an absolute mess and you and your partner's relationship would crack under the strain...didn't like that at aLL!
I put my gf book in the wood burner - it stressed me out. Though weirdly I have gradually I have adopted it bit by bit, but not all at the same time as I had a lot of self doubt about how I would achieve the routine she advocates!
e.gFor example, initially I only did the 4-hourly feeding routine, including the nighttime advice she gives. As our twins slept through at 11 weeks (they are 6 months now) I had the energy and courage to then go back to the other parts. So I then started doing the nap time routine at 18 weeks. I was scared of this, as I couldn't imagine how the babies would just NAP at WILL! But it was fine actually once I tackled it (I posted on mumsnet "settling twins for naps" before I tried it, then had enough advice from other twin mums to go for it).
I think its fine if you can let your self off the hook qwhen you don't stick to it. Take your time at each part, don't expect the babies to be able to adopt it, but try it if you want and see what happens. Each stage took me a few days to crack. I found her advice on "feeding twins during the day as much as poss" good, and using a bottle at night worked. i am sure it helped my twins sleep through the night early. Ditto the advice on having pitch black nursery and minimal interaction and intervention during night feeds. I also had the babies in their own room from week 2, but this was more to do with being too nervous a person to be able to have them next to me as Iw as jumping out of bed the second I heard them squeak in their sleep. Having them next door has turned out fine for me but other mums have been equALLY nervous at having them sleep in another room.
Do what you think is best, and keep asking other people for advice at each stage, as that will make you more confident than just referring to gina!
Put that book in the bin.......it will only stress new mothers out and make them feel like they're failing (when they're not). The baby whisperer is a nicer book and gives you different ways of dealing with your baby depending on the type if baby you have.
Ignore books. You've done it with a singleton, you can do it with twins. All I'd say is try and time it so you can feed them both at the same time and get some kip when they do, plus visitors can be handed a teatowel or kettle when they come so you can sit and cuddle your babies. If you're planning on bottle feeding, having two different types of bottle is useful so you know who's had what.
Mum to 14 year old hormonal triplets plus a bona fide grown up man.
Haven't read the twin book but the twin routine in the old book was ridiculous - "feed Twin 1 for 10 mins
just when they're settled and feeding well then break off the feed and put them down whilst you feed Twin 2 for 10 minutes whilst ignoring the screams of protest. After 10 minutes, put Twin 2 down and repeat the screams of protest with 2nd baby whilst you finish feed for Twin 1 etc. Stick to the routine at all costs (sleep in their bedroom, blackout blind etc which means you won't leave the house until 4pm each day and feel like a complete loner or you'll never get a minute's peace."
I think there are parts of it which are useful as a guide and you will end up with a routine that suits you and your babies but I think with twins more than anything, there is a need to go with the flow to a certain etc. I think twin mummies are prone to feelings of inadequacy (comes with the territory) and "failing" to get 2 x babies into GF's twin routine will only add to that!!
I am a big Gina Ford fan, however, her twin book was a bit rubbish. I followed The Contented Little Baby from around 4 weeks and we are lucky enough to have just that, two contented little babies.
She hadnt written the twin book when I had mine, she just amended her standard routine in the normal book. Tbh the twin routine wasn't at all helpful, she allows way too little time for everything, bath every night which wasnt feasible for us and assumes both will be doing the same thing at the same time.
That said The book did help me get into a good routine and I followed it loosely from about 10 weeks. I was out of my mind with tiredness and stress, mild PND and it helped me be about more organised. DT2 slept through for the first time after a week, after waking 3 times a night. DT1 was a whole different story.
I think she gets too much stick from people who either haven't read the book and think its all controlled crying or who have good sleepers.
I've found the only things I aim to achieve each day are:
A shower before DH goes to work
2 hour nap at lunch time ( this involves pushing pram around for hours! But means I pretty much buy my lunch out every day so has its upsides!)
Bath at 5.30-6 (mainly cos I get bored and it calms them down and distracts them for 20 mins then I attempt to feed them into submission)
The rest of the day fits around this. Has only really started taking shape in the past 3 weeks - DTs now 11 weeks.
Yes, as a first time anxious mum, read the gf singleton book and got myself in a right tizz if my dc1 wasn't asleep at 6.57pm on whatever, my lovely health visitor forcibly removed it from my trembling palms and made me remove it from house!
5 years on, two dcs later, hope that I am wise and baby battle worn to recognise any useful tips and consign the rest to the proverbial slag heap! I think it was the foreword by a certain celebrity mum that got my blood boiling, her experience was nowhere like what a 'normal' woman would experience with twins. On limited resources and with possibly older children, how could you possibly afford a long term night nurse, specialist private maternity provision and scanning as course, and domestic home help. In our dreams love!
I have the gf book for a singleton and found it helpful, just used the bits that I needed too
Was/am planning on getting the multiples one for further insight into this crazy multiple world!
I met a woman in John Lewis when I was buying my double pram, she had twins and told me 'you'll never cope, it's horrendous, you have to have a night nanny blah blah blah' it was the worst thing she could have said.
Yes, I did cope, no I didnt need a night nanny, or any nanny (well, it may have been nice but financially, not an option!). You will cope, becuase you have to, sometimes it will be hard but you'll get there
As for GF, personally, I liked the book - but I ignored half of it. Take what makes sense and adapt it to you and your children. For example, I didn't need to be told when to eat my breakfast and you can't make a baby sleep when it doesn't want to, and I didn't need two kettles, but for rough timings it did give me some idea of what I was doing.
Good luck and congratulations!
...and can already feel my blood pressure rise. Amongst the advice 'get fitted wardrobes and a certain type of carpet fitted in the nursery' and use a night nanny service if you can afford it (checked out website, £150 per night). And no mention of coping with other siblings. Omfg! Glad that these are not my first as would be a quivering nervous wreck already.
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