I hate crying(8 Posts)
I have 8 month old boy and girl twins and a 3 year old ds My problem is I hate crying so much. Especially twin boy who has the most horrible strident cry. It makes me mad. I don't feel sorry for them when they cry. I just want them to shut up. Am I the only one who feels like this? I have loads of help cos mil lives with us and is more patient than me. So I have no excuse, I'm not at the end of my tether or anything. Just hate it so much. The babies are sweet but I would much rather hang out with 3 y old. Find the babyhood bit back breaking, and fairly boring. It's already miles better now than when they were new but I'm looking forward to when they can walk and talk and not need to be carried round all the time. Yes I'm wishing our time away. Especially looking forward to unbroken nights and no more teething. An I evil or what?
Not evil! I don't think you are unusual either, although people don't usually admit to those feelings. I found the stage from about 18 months to three years really really tough, the constant need for attention drove me crackers. 3 kids so close in age is hard hard hard. Good luck
You sound like me. I hated the crying too. I think mothers are meant to hate it. It tugs inside of you. I think it is a biological thing to make you react to the crying and want to attempt to stop it - easier said than done with one baby let alone of two. One of my twins had a shocking cry as well. It did get better though. I can't remember when DT2's cry became less harsh, but it did. In fact now she is the more content of the two. Mine are 19mths and I have to say I find it loads and loads easier. They understand verbal communication. Even things like 'wait a minute' 'your turn' and 'share'. All vital words for twins!
We turned the first corner around one, another about 16mths and again in the last couple of weeks. I would not call it easy, but as long as they are well, it can be quite fun.
Don't beat yourself up. I did - literally sometimes. It is just that hard. I don't regret wishing that first year away. I am delighted I never have to go through it again.
I am not sure if this is helpful or not. Can you get yourself a bit of a break from them? An afternoon shopping or lying on the sofa at a friends house with the telly on?
My only other suggestion is to talk to them all the time. If both are crying and you are dealing with the other talk to the crying one, or sing, anything to distract you and make you feel you are responding to the other twin.
If nothing else this should help them develop language early and for me that has been wonderful.
I had this. I have non-ID boys. When one of them cried it got to me, but my urge was to hold him and quieten him. The other just drove me nuts with his annoying piercing noise. I reacted the same way to him, but inside I just chanted "SHUT UP!!!".
However, that seemed to have no impact on my feelings about him when he wasn't screaming at me.
They are 4 now (you probably don't want to hear that I consider much of what went on up till almost 3 as something of a slog), and he still does it!! Annoying scream that drives me up the wall, he is a little ball of anger on occasion. Much like myself I have finally recognised - so have a great deal more compassion now than I did then (possibly due to the extra sleep these days).
I think you may be nearer the end of your tether than you might think - twin babies and a 3 year old is a lot of work, just because you have some help and are coping don't underestimate the constant effort required to keep on top of it all.
Very best of luck.
I hate crying too! In fact I have come to the conclusion that if babies didn't cry I honestly wouldn't have a problem with motherhood at all.
I also have one baby that has the worst and loudest cry ever, and the other baby hardly cries. But when she does it sounds so much more sad and quiet than her sister I always feel terrible. ON the other hand my demanding twin is sooo happy (she smiles sooo easily and babbles constantly in a happy thrill) but this is only AS LONG AS she is being held or has pretty much one on one attention.
Of course other people don't understand because they are never on their own with twins the way you are, I am the only person that is ever juggling them at once on their own. So most people never hear them crying like I do.
I guess its the nature of being a twin mum. No wonder we wish the time away!!
Like someone else said on this thread I try and talk to my wailing twin or sing anything thats in my head, while I am changing the other or doing anything that involves leaving her to cry as I'm otherwise occupied!
Anyway, good luck! I am about to write a post on here about when does weaning get easier!!??? My main problem is - you guessed it- my wailing demanding twin. She cries because I can't get the food to her mouth fast enough!!!! haha
I used to think of the crying as their talking, which is essentially what it is. Worked for me.
Also, I slightly managed to tune some of it out, because if they cried at the same time, you can only effectively deal with one at a time.
I used ear plugs unashamedly!
You can still hear them so no need to worry that they will be neglected but it just doesn't grate quite as much. Looking back it seems that all they ever did was sleep, feed (for hours), and vomit. But at the time I really needed that supply of ear plugs.
I can't cope with the crying. At all. Or the whining. So, my twins have dummies for those times. And for sleep. They are 2.5. My DH hates the dummies, but its me who looks after the DCs (I have another DC, too), and I can't take it all day every day without some quick fixes, so we have a TV and also the dummies. And I haven't bolted for the hills, like I would have, without them.
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