Surprise twins at 12w scan (have 2.5yo DD) - in shock and so many qus!!(44 Posts)
(So cross - just wrote all this out and stupid iPhone deleted it!!)
I guess it's time to post here....
Had 12 week scan on Tues afternoon and totally, completely out of the blue, it's twins! No twins in the family, no fertility treatment - a total shock! They have separate sacks and placentas and so far look well - they are both 3 days ahead of dates (I know when we conceived). The whole pregnancy was a (very lovely) unplanned surprise - we would have waited for fjnanci reasons, mainly because I am the breadwinner (DH is pretty much a stay at home dad? And I have not been in my new job long enough to qualify for enhanced mat pay, only statutory..... Eeek.
I am excited, of course, but a bit of a mixed bag of emotions.... I worry as I assume that there are many more things that can go wrong with twins. Thd main thing though is that I totally know what I'm doing with one. I have, frankly, nailed breastfeeding (see below, did if for embarrassingly long!) and found the early months really not that hard (with one...). But now, I am going totally into the unknown, which I just wasnt expecting, and I don't know what to do or if I can do it!!!
I just have so many questions... Any thoughts welcome:
1. Can I and will I be allowed to ebf twins? I exclusively bf DD until we did baby led weaning at 6 months, then carried on bf until just after she turned 2 . I'm not militant with others, not remotely, but I LOVED bf and it is really important to me. Can I do it? Physically, how can it work? I will also have DD, so can't spend hours in bed in funny positions or doing skin to skin! I was counting on having a hand free!
And what if they're prem? Will I be allowed to pump and not allow a bottle? Can't even imagine how I'd do that with DD to look after too....
2. How often do people make it to 37/38 weeks and will I be allowed to have a vag
And now iPhone randomly posted.... To continue:
A vaginal birth? DD stayed in until 40 + 14(!!) and was induced, but it with the cervix softening thing. She then popped out in 8 hours. I'm happy to give it a go with two... My body knows how to give birth... But is this v unlikely? Do they insist on csec? How early is normal?
3. Practically, is it possible to find a rear facing double pram/pushchair that will accommodate a buggy board for (still little!) DD?!
4. However will I / we cope????
Gah. Excuse iPhone typos throughout.
I don't know anything about your questions but I did read once that BF women are more likely to have twins. Oh and women closer to 40, cant remember the other ones. Bit of (probably untrue) trivia there! Huge congratulations!
Thanks! Nowhere near 40 really - I'm 31... Still feeling very teary about it all.... I think it's just apprehension....
My mother in law breast fed her twins so it is possible. I had a prem baby and pumped milk so that's also possible.
You have quite some time to think about this so please don't worry. There are lots of multiple birth clubs so why don't you find one local to you and pop in for a chat.
Congratulations by the way
You can totally breastfeed twins, I am with mine at the moment. You will just need to buy a special tandem breastfeeding pillow. I have the Harmony Duo. I think other people on here use something called My Breastfriend.
All the tandem pushchairs I have seen are forward facing, but there are loads of them and you could fit a buggy board on. My DD was 17 months when the twins were born so we got an ABC Adventure buggy with the toddler seat on which is great but maybe OtT if tour DD is a bit older.
Congratulations and good luck!
Congratulations And welcome to the club
You can ebf twins. I am still feeding my 2yr5mo twins, though not exclusiy anymore, obviously. I chose to feed them one at a time rather than together, as I found it difficult to latch two tinies at the same time. But many people feed both together successfully. I also didn't get on with using pillows (normal or widgey or breastfriend), but you'll fin your own way. It will also help that you've done it before and so will be able to take well meant advice from health professionals, friends and family with a pinch of salt if
when they start saying your milk won't sustain two. It will. It truly will, as long as you don't compromise your supply by supplementing with formula.
My twins were my first babies, but now that they're two and a half, I can try to imagine how I would manage a two year old and newborn twins. If you were able to express when feeding your daughter, then I would save up and invest in a high quality double pump. I ummed and ahhed over getting one and then got it jus after I finished needing it really . It made so much difference to the quantity, speed and comfort of expressing. I got a medela freestyle, which is small and quiet (ish). If you are able to pump, you'll have a stash in the fridge/freezer so that you can bottle feed if your older DD needs you to be more 'available', and it'll mean you can leave DH with the babies while you have time with your DD.
With regard to prams, I have a FirstWheels City Twin, which I chose because it looks great, takes carrycots/car seats/normal seats in any combination. The bar at the bottom where the brake is can take the weight of a light toddler (though it is not supposed to) - I e had a light 4 year old ride on mine with no damage to the pram. If I was expecting your combination, or even older twins and a newborn, I would say to get a parent facing double like the FirstWheels, let your toddler ride on the bar sometimes and have a sling for a baby if your toddler needs the seat. A sensible toddler could sit in a FirstWheels carrycot for a while, and after a few months you'll have the seats on anyway, so can shuffle three children between two seats and a sling I would think. You could also splurge on an ABC triple buggy, but not sure about parent facing combos, and they are BIG.
I am envious of you starting out on your twin pregnancy and newborn days It really is a grand adventure
Thanks Eating and Happy - wonderfully encouraging posts! I'll reply properly later, but thank you!
Congratulations on your special pregnancy
Many women breastfeed twins successfully, there is a triplet mother on here BF her three babies. My twins were prem and I expressed while they were in the NICU and they were given my BM by feeding tube.
I have read that 50% of twin pregnancies are between 34-38 weeks. You can have a vaginal birth with twins if the presenting twin is head down at the time. I had an EMCS as twin 1 was breech. No consultant will insist you have a c section, mine was very for a vaginal birth.
Not sure about pram and buggy board.
You will cope, you will have to! It will be hard but there are plenty of twin (and triplet) mums on here with other children
not me thankfully
My non ID girls are nearly 6 months old. It is great being a twin mum, hard work but so lovely!
Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.
Hello and congratulations
I have 13 month old twins and two older girls.
As others have said it is possible to breastfeed twins. I found this book really useful.
I had a cs because t1 was breech at 38 weeks.
sorry do not know about pram with buggyboard, but if you go to the pushchair section I am sure someone will be able to help.
4. You will cope, it is hard and having some help (especially in the early weeks) is vital, but you will be amazed at your coping skills! Will your DD go to nursery or playgroup next year?
Finally I know what you mean about "going totally into the unknown", I had exactly the same feeling even though I'd done it twice already!
All I can say is try and be flexible, keep expectations low, and be ready to have to adjust your 'ideal of motherhood', I have had to make compromises on what I would have liked to do, in favour of what was possible with two.
My two are lovely now, giggling and playing together
makes you forget that you haven't slept for more than a year
there is an antenatal thread on here too, called Twins Club 5 now I think, you will find lots of expectant twin mums there.
Thank you all!! So appreciated!
Hi!! Huge congratulations. Of course it's a panic as it was not expected but you will cope. You will do more than cope. Having twins is hard, no getting away from it. But it is also amazing and special. I have 10 month old dts and 3yo dd. She was just 2 when I had the boys.
Accept help amd prepare as much as you can... fill freezer and cupboards etc and organise help.
I had a vb with the boys so definitely possible. And although I did npt ebf , there are amazing woman on here that have/ do.... and clare who has posted above is one of them.
Don't know about pushchairs I am afraid as I have front facing and dd has to walk! I know there is something called an ABC or something like that which has a toddler seat on it. dreamingofagoodnightssleep on here had one.
Join TAMBA and find
.... your local twins club. Great for support and buying and selling.
Ask any questions you have... There will always be someone who can help. We have all been there!
Yes, its definitely possible to exclusively breast feed. I did and carried on b/f them until they were 11 months. They were early too, but the staff on my SCBU were very pro-breastfeeding so I got lots of support they had my expressed milk via an NG tube until they were able to breast feed, and once their tubes were removed (close to the time when they came home) if I wasn't at hospital (eg during the night), the nurses would offer my milk via a cup. They were never given a bottle.
As everyone says, you'll find a way to feed, I only fed them together in emergencies, it was usually one after the other, but I think twins work out fairly quickly that they need to hurry mine were very efficient feeders.
I didn't make it to 37/38 weeks but had a normal delivery even though one twin was breech. Again, I presume it depends on the hospital's approach.
Can't help on the pram front I'm afraid.
You will cope (as you don't get a choice ) but it is brilliant. I think twins are a complete blessing, its so special and even though its a bit overwhelming at the moment, its so exciting.
Just to let you know legally DCDA twins can still be identical. We had 2 sacs & two placentas and non ID girls but there is a chance of identical twins too.
I also got the shock of my life at my 12 week scan!
Hey there, congratulations. Know just how you are feeling, though I have to say you sound in a really good place to me.
I immediately assumed there would be lots of extra risks for twins too. What I was told was because they were in separate sacks, with separate placentas there were no extra risks. The statistical probability of having some kind of abnormality inevitably increases - just as it would if you had more babies separately, but that is it.
The pregnancy is of course more onerous, so there's a greater chance of them being premature, but otherwise there's no big risks. I was really surprised.
EBF, yes of course. We used a syringe to give them expressed milk on top of BF'ing at first.
I have an older one too. She was 2-1/2. At the mid morning feed she had to wait while I b'fed both babies, one after the other, and then expressed. I thought it would be a nightmare, but it was ok. I got a few activities ready before we sat down and I could chat to her, or help her with them.
I gave twin one a bottle of formula at night at 3-1/2 mths, otherwise they were ebf through to starting solids around 6mths.
One thing I did while I was pregnant was stockpile some cheap toys/ making things whenever they caught my eye, so DD1 could have something new during the Friday afternoon b'feed for example. It was very helpful.
Cheers for now.
Just seen your other questions.
I was induced at 38, delivered both more or less normally. They were very keen for me to have an epidural. I didn't for DD1, but it actually worked out very well.
On the pram front, I've never seen a rear facing twin buggy. There are those old fashioned ones where they face each other.
It depends how old your first is, but I got the outandabout, which is great. There is a little triangle on the front where my 2-1/2yr old could hitch rides no problem if her legs were tired. It faces outwards though.
BTW electric madela breast pump - it's essential!
Toomuchpink - thank you, thank you, thank you! It still feels overwhelming, but just starting to feel like an adventure too... Your story is exactly how I would love things to works out... Fingers crossed! I hope DD will cope! She will, at pretty much exactly when they're due, be starting the nursery pert of her school (she'll be 2.11) doing 3 mornings a week. I am a bit iffy on thd psychology of it - starting school at exactly the same time as babies arrive, but we had always planned for her to start them and it will be blinking convenient! She's had pretty much full time parents until now (me, then DH, now mostly DH plus my mum and a nanny/childminder who comes to our house for a day) and I think she'd be really ready for it... In fact I'm tempted to Si four mornings, but that might be a bit much. Alternatively, it might be great for her to have that as her special thing.
Thanks so much for the encouragement - I may be calling on many IOC you for more advice! We've yet to see anyone apart from the sonographer since we found out, so I'm looking forward to properly talking through the risks etc with the midwife at 16 weeks.
Sorry - ghastly iPhone typos!
I had vag delivery when I went into labour naturally at 36+5. They insisted on spinal in case the 2nd twin went transverse after the birth of twin 1, twin 2 was born breech.
You can breastfeed but as mine went into special care with feeding problems, too tired to suck, I was glad I decided not to try, I had,had problems bf with dc1.
Congrats legallyblond. Twins are a joy. Enjoy the first year, it gets harder after they are mobile . Mine are now almost 8.
With twins you should be seeing a consultant every 4 weeks & a scan every 4 weeks from 20 weeks.
I saw a midwife straight after twins was confirmed at my 12 week scan. I also then saw a consultant and had a NT scan 3 days later. Ask you midwife about it.
I have 2 sets of twins, the first were 7 weeks early and I expressed milk which was tube fed then they went onto bottle (I had a 15 month old too) the 2nd set were 4 weeks early and straight bottle fed. I know alot of people who have delivered twins and many who had a c-section.
Buggies - the first one that springs to mind is the bugaboo donkey - seats either way and you can get a buggyboard for them. First wheels do one too, can't think off the top of my head as i had to get the abc Everest with seat ontop which only faces forwards.
Oh and the fact they are separate sacs and placentas is good as same placentas usually do get pushed for earlier section due to risks.
And even though they are separate they can stil be identical :-)
I had vb for the girls, there was a wibble when dd2 decided to go transverse after dd1 was delivered, but I'd had an epidural in case emergency cs was needed, and consultant was able to turn her. Unfortunately she turned wrong way and came out feet first... has continued to be contrary for next fourteen years .
Managed to ebf, although girls were tube fed for first couple of weeks. I took them home on their due date, exactly four weeks after they were born. I assume you know your due date is now 38 weeks not 40?
I had a special cushion but tbh found it easiest to feed one at a time, if I did feed both it was easiest in bed.
DP my mum and my sisters were wonderful and I'm not sure how I'd have coped without them.
MIL shot out and bought a Mothercare own brand double buggy. It was shite! Wish I'd exchanged it before using it and making it unsaleable.
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