Twins Club 5! All welcome! :-)

(243 Posts)
mandasand Mon 24-Sep-12 00:35:44

Hello! I was a relative newcomer to the last Twins Club thread. I thought I should start a new thread as the last one I filled up with a bit of chatter towards the end. The last thread was really useful to learn from others also carrying multiples and to get the benefit of recent 'graduates' (when they had a minute between sleeping and feeding newborns!)

I'm 37 and 16+5 with twins. I live in Oxfordshire with DH and these are our first children!

Be lovely to get some chatter going on the thread so please come and introduce yourselves :-)

mandasand Tue 22-Jan-13 07:58:21

welcome paolocee and DW - congratulations! glad the swedish system is being good to you and that you have a great pregnancy. There's also a Twins in 2013 thread over at www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1555535-Twins-in-2013 which may be good for you guys too.

mandasand Tue 22-Jan-13 08:00:17

welcome too whingingdefective (sorry, posted too soon!)

wow, two sets of twins! since becoming pregnant with our set I've been amazed at how many double sets there are out there! think my DH is a bit worried we'd strike lucky again if we ever tried again, but think we'll be happy with our two bundles anyway :-)

DreamingOfAWhiteChristmas Tue 22-Jan-13 20:47:04

Hello whingingdefective, love the name! Come and see us in Twins under 1 (ish!) too!, and there is a thread for older twin/triplet mums too, they always title it "d'ya ever wonder...." something. They're both in Multiple Births section.

Not that I'm not still lurking here, with my 9.5 month old dts <whistles innocently>

And hello paolocee, nice to see a DH newbie too grin Congratulations!!!

DreamingOfAWhiteChristmas Tue 22-Jan-13 20:48:42

^^ I don't mean older parents, obviously, I mean older age groups of twins!

manda, my dh would be horrified if we had more twins. They're great, they really are, especially now as their interaction is magic, but we have one who is just so much harder than either DD was, or his brother is- he is by far the hardest work of all three by himself, and doesn't sleep, meaning we're still exhausted zombies!!!

Frenchfamille Sat 26-Jan-13 12:01:55

All done! Now have 2 beautiful daughters - Florence Violette et Lily-Rose Emilia. Their 3 big brothers are besotted by them. French hospital started things off at 39 weeks. Long long labour not helped by Lily-Rose being breech. Having delivered Florence, her sister was manipulated round by a team of staff - theatre was standing by but fortunately not needed. It was a hard labour but we got there and I'm at home now. The hardest thing since has been not having 2 pairs of hands for 2 babies - so I told the hospital I was off home where my husband would be able to help at night-time. I found being in hospital quite stressful as I was pretty bruised (tummy mostly) and achey after the long labour. Determined to breast feed I found the nights hardest where I was knackered and too tired to even get the babies out their cot to feed them. However, persevered and when their weight started going up, got the all clear to go home. P.S No wonder I was feeling heavy - my beautiful dainty girls were just over 7 pounds! And the loveliest quote from my 11 year old, the eldest, was "I'm so glad there are two of them - one just wouldn't have been enough for us all!"

Huge congratulations French. What a lovely post to read. I love the name Florence, it was one on our list, brilliant weights too!

Well done on the labour.

Your DS sounds so cute, such an adorable thing to say.

Twin girls are the best!!

LookAtHerGo Sat 26-Jan-13 22:46:34

Congratulations French. smile beautiful names. Lovely comment by your DS. Enjoy your new bonding time as an even bigger family. grin

I had a bad evening yesterday. Feeding is hard work as neither latch brilliantly, but having one or maybe both having tongue tie cut on Tuesday so I'm hoping that will help things get better. My DD is settling a little bit now, she was a bit upset when I was feeding the boys but is getting more used to it now and is and always has been v gentle with them. Whether this changes in a few weeks time will only tell!

Hope the rest of you are doing ok.

mandasand Sun 27-Jan-13 00:01:20

Congratulations French! Florence is on our short-list of names, too!

Well, I'm now on my third day in hospital with pre-eclampsia - but it seems to be mild enough that I've been told if my readings behave I may be able to go home and be seen every other day as an outpatient. Fingers tightly crossed for this scenario!!

34+4 and babies doing very well so not too worried about this. As long as things don't escalate, of course.

LookAtHerGo Sun 27-Jan-13 00:12:31

Oh gosh manda. Hope you manage to get your readings under control and babies stay put a while longer.

mandasand Sun 27-Jan-13 08:47:48

Thanks, Look! Readings are not too bad. BP hasn't risen above 150/100 and the protein is 34. (I understand, at least, that these aren't too bad!) Yesterday's doc said that if I can keep BP figure down to 120/130 then today's doctor may let me home ... but every doc seems to have a different interpretation so I'm not getting to hopeful until I get my release! smile

mandasand Mon 28-Jan-13 01:27:24

I'm home! I made it to out-patient status and am so, so happy! My readings hadn't got worse, and my BP had come down, so they asked me whether I wanted to stay in or come home and of course I said home! (Even if it is a bit chaotic as we're in the middle of double-glazing being fitted in most rooms!) Back to the high risk clinic on Tues to have all the tests again and see what's what. They will take me back in straight away if anything is awry so thinking positive, happy thoughts!

Best of luck mandas. Keep a close eye on things and do phone triage with any changes.

Keep us updated smile

My girls are 4 months old tomorrow!

llightfoot Tue 29-Jan-13 20:08:47

hi i am being induced on tues lol identical twin boys very nervous about it

elisio1 Tue 29-Jan-13 20:16:26

Hi all

Thought I would join the club. Have already posted on the Multiple Births thread - a "help... I'm having twins" type message, but now feel a bit less shocked and more accepting and ready to embrace all that being a twin mum has to offer.

I've already got 2 DS - 5 and 2.5. Twins are likely to be a boy and girl, though I did have the gender scan very early on so might find out differently later on.

Now I've started announcing the news, people in RL have been so lovely and excited, I am feeling more positive about it all.

I'm due 10 July (40 weeks), although I imagine the due date will be brought forward as no-one seems to go that long. Haven't been told that much about twin births really - tho' I think I will be under consultant care at some point.

I'm 37 and also in Oxfordshire area so have some things in common with OP.

Anyway, hello everyone!

llightfoot Tue 29-Jan-13 21:25:32

hi i am being induced on tues lol identical twin boys very nervous about it

Frenchfamille Wed 30-Jan-13 11:49:32

I was induced too Lightfoot at 39 weeks. Everything came on slowly, perhaps a bit too slowly, and although I suddenly wanted to hide and sleep and act in denial, my husband encouraged me up, walking and getting on with things which actually got things going. I got to 3-4 cm when the top anaesthetist came in to talk to us (don't forget I'm in France) and strongly encouraged me to have an epidural. Having had 3rd son at home I was against this but he laid out a strong case. Baby 2 was breech, not a problem but their sizes were big. He was concerned I may end up with c-section and that it would be a last minute thing, he'd feel happier if I was 'prepared' before with everything in place. I got tearful, talked to husband and decided that putting all my wanting to do things completely naturally aside, perhaps I did need to think about this. So, we went ahead.

I went white according to my husband during the procedure as I was scared but I had one small dose and then it was up to me to press the button to get more pain relief. So I held out because I wanted to feel something and know when to push etc. But as it was, it was an extremely long long labour (probably not helped by epidural). However, what it did offer was that my husband and I sat together, holding hands, watching old classic comedies on his Ipad to pass the time, me with contractions but nothing horrendous, and I made the decision to enjoy the labour! It was actually quite a special time for us. With hindsight, Florence (no.1) was hard to get out, not descending that quickly and I was tired. So after she arrived, there was a team of medics all manipulating Lily-Rose round 180 degrees. The theatre ready for me.

I think in truth I would have found it too much without the epidural. It took 45 minutes between their deliveries but the manipulating was incredible, a great doctor with her team, and it meant no theatre. My pain threshold is pretty high I think but it was probably about 6 hours after the epidural that Florence was born. The french are over cautious but the reality is that I had had a hardish pregnancy in many respects, hadn't slept the night before, and I was completely shattered. Dulling the pain (I took minimal dose of epidural) probably got me through things without theatre. I even got the doctor telling me the next day that I was super 'forte' (strong!) which I appreciated hearing! One week later I ache from all the pushing (I really had to get into the zone for no.2 because I was very tired and could feel myself giving up a bit) and I pushed them out in highly gymnastic manouevres apparently perhaps explaining the aches today! But at 7 pounds and just over 7 pounds, I am amazed at what I was carrying around for so long.

Despite the French being much less into breastfeeding than British, I was determined to at least have a go as I had with the boys breastfed successfully. It's not easy at times logistically with the two but it has got much easier. In just a week they have definitely got the hang of it so I am really pleased. I fought a bit in hospital and after 4 days I think it was, was allowed to come out purely as they had started gaining weight and that I put forward the case that I physically needed another pair of hands at night. I was too bruised to pick them up easily and after 4 nights of virtually no sleep I knew I needed my husband's help and home.

Since then I have stayed in our bedroom, in the warm, snacks and drinks around me, with no visitors until my mum comes tomorrow. So many people dropping in but I have remained here, with the philosophy that I just want to be with twins, my 3 boys and husband before sharing with others. In hospital on the last night, despite a sign on the door, and telling the nurses I wanted to just be with the children and husband, 12 other people came and it was too much. I found it too over-whelming and so at home I thank my husband for being quite firm with well-meaning visitors. I think with twins your priorities change a bit, there's definitely double the healing (in my case) and double the hormones (emotional) but also double the protectiveness. I may not have had a c-section but physically I feel as though I've gone through a lot more than with the single pregnancies. Also I'm older!

I must just finish on a story that will make some of you cringe - midwife came monday to weigh the girls. I KNEW I had been breastfeeding well and that they were doing well. First baby on scales. Weight loss. Not possible I said. Followed by her telling me perhaps I needed more help, bottle etc. I started to get tearful and then thought hang on, you silly woman (her, not me!) you're weighing her on the bed. Bouncy surface. SO I told her to weigh her again on the table. Surprise, surprise. Superb weight gain. I was furious. I had got upset for nothing, been told all sorts of crap about supplements (not against bottles but just knew inside we were doing well as we were). Second baby WEIGHED ON TABLE - superb weight gain.

My husband said that I was not very subtle but that he was very proud that I had put her right. She didn't apologise but perhaps the fact she didn't want to come round til 8 days later tells me that at the end of the day, mums and instincts are key. I knew that the girls were doing well, but at the first sign, french midwife off on a different road.

So for all of you waiting to give birth, just given birth like me - yes, listen to the advice (in the case of the epidural for me it was probably the right thing to do) but trust your instincts. Because as I type this I have 2 well fed growing girls lying on me whom I and the family are totally besotted by, who have changed my life. Sometimes, it really is a case of Mum's know best!

XX

french wow, amazing story from you. You sound v strong and focussed. I will be channelling you next week - both babies are breech so have decided to go for a section. TBF, both midwives and doctors have been open to the idea of vaginal birth even with two although obviously highlighting the risks but i'm not willing to risk it myself, partic if it ends up being an EMCS anyway! So babies will be here in Wednesday.

Mandasand - sorry to hear you have BP issues still. Mine has benn exemplary the whole way through - 126/85 today - it's,such a weird one and something you have so little control over but such a massive impact.

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed tonight now that my section is booked in - can't sleep at all desoite having a really busy day. I'm worried that i won't be able to cope, won't be able to BF (I really want to), won't be strong enough. Stupid really but hard to manage the negative thoughts when you're lying in the dark!

Free best of luck for Wednesday.

You will be fine. My section was decided on at 5pm and I was in theater an hour later, I was very scared. Turn out though it was a truly lovely experience. The doctors and nurses were amazing (there are ALOT of people in the room for a twin birth, 15 of us at one point!). Would it sound strange to say I actually enjoyed the experience? I BF & expressed for 5 weeks then had to give up as I needed surgery when the babies were 6 weeks old. I was gutted but to be honest, 13 weeks later, I am not slightly bothered that they are on formula. They are healthy, happy and thriving 4 month olds. Don't beat yourself up too much about BF. Take each day as it comes. You will be strong enough, you will find this amazing strength to care for your babies who you will fall totally in love with.

Do let us know how you get on smile

Frenchfamille Sat 02-Feb-13 00:35:28

Madasand - i would have opted for c-section too if I was in your position, it was only as Florence was head down that it seemed good to go that way. As I said, the epidural for me meant that whilst it wasn't exactly what i wanted, we had a few lovely hours, holding hands, watching old comedy classics, waiting for the time for the girls to come. I really did enjoy that side of it so I can imagine that you could take that from a c-s too. Enjoy the experience (especially if it's your last? - we now have 5 children so we are, as they say, definitely complete!!)

Not sleeping, normal.... night before induction I had a rubbish sleep but you still get through things on adrenaline. BF is not easy but I would imagine bottle feeding is challenging too - it's really the fact that there are TWO to feed, sometimes at the same time, that I found the tricky part. Not necessarily how you feed, but logistically how you do it. They couldn't wait to try and suggest bottles to me over here so at least in UK you will hopefully have alot of support if you do decide to BF. But even if the twins just get a few days of BF, that will be a real achievement. Think of it as every day is a bonus. But at the end, you don't get a badge saying you have BF so don't beat yourself up. I can't remember if you have other children but I found I had to prioritise time to the boys too as well as the girls. My biggest bit of advice is to not be afraid to shut the curtains at home and get husband to field off well-meaning visitors if you don't feel ready. Twins are no doubt a novelty to many visitors but in hospital i got fed up with friends of friends popping in!

My way of coping has been to send lots of pics to people on email, send updates to everyone and just say that I need a bit of time to physically heal (as you will after c-s) and that I want to see everyone but am waiting a little until I am out of nighties and not leaking everywhere! It has been for me the right thing to do and I feel I can cope with 5 children that way.

My lovely friends have left cakes, presents, food parcels in the porch and then just emailed me. Friends like these are invaluable. There's many months ahead of cuddles for everyone so if you just feel like keeping the twins to yourselves for a few extra days, don't feel guilty. Those early days are hard but very special.

Already after 11 days I see the personalities of our two coming out. Florence is the one who cries first, and seems a real thinker, more serious. Lily-Rose is such a watcher, craning her little head to see her brothers and of course, her sister. Special special times. Although I'm writing this at 1am while feeding them - so obviously very tiring too!!

Look forward to hearing your update. Enjoy your last few days and do all the things you can't do easily with a double buggy - such as going to a nice coffee shop sitting upstairs!

Frenchfamille Sat 02-Feb-13 00:36:57

SORRY - that was for Freebutton not addressed to Madasand. Told you I was tired and confused!!

Ah thanks French. First babies so at least i don't have other children to worry about. Am feeling a bit better now that DH has finished at the office (he is working from home Monday/Tuesday) - i also slept a bit better last night so feeling a bit more rested now. Things don't seem quite so dramatic when you're not tired!

We're building some ikea furniture this morning then lazing on the sofa watching rugby this afternoon. Tomorrow, will tkae your advice and do a wee bit of nice shopping - calm before the storm!

How exciting that their little,personalities are starting to shine through. I am so looking forward to seeing who they are. They are my babies but their own little people, even so young.

LookAtHerGo Sat 02-Feb-13 22:19:08

Oh this damn MN app, I've just wrote a long post and it's been eaten! Ffs. Trying to settle boys now, so I'll have to try again another time. Makes note to copy text before posting in case I need to paste it to post it again.

mandasand Sun 03-Feb-13 09:53:30

Hello lovelies! So are you booked in for CS on Wed 6th, Free? Be thinking of you and looking forward to hearing how it goes! Looks like mine will be within a week or so of that, and I'm getting a bit scared too.

Clinic on Tuesday was fine. On Friday they started me on beta-blockers for BP and wanted to keep me in. I refused (eek) and said I'd come in as often as they like as an out-patient. Yesterday spent three hours being assessed. Babies fine, very slight protein in urine (only the second time in two weeks of monitoring) but not a protein they are concerned about (?) In again on Tuesday, when I'm 36 weeks, and won't be surprised if they try to keep me in again. More prepared now - we've nearly finished putting the house back together after the double-glazing work and have re-packed my hospital bag! Will let you know if anything exciting happens...

Yes, Wed is the day. Feeling more relaxed now that things are settled. Have also repacked my bag (kept alll the sweets in!). Not looking forward to surgery but c'est la vie. Need to re-read some bits of "mothering multiples" on bf after a section - i want to give us the best shot at it and i think part of that involves me being strong and determined.

mandasand i think ou were right to insist on going home. More relaxing and so likely to be better for your health! Can't imagine how sitting ina hosp ward is supposed to help. Getting a date is weird but good. Not looking forward to the 'nil by mouth' from midnight though - i am v grumpy pre breakfast these days!

Frenchfamille Mon 04-Feb-13 22:27:19

Freebutton - don't worry about the BF. It's certainly different for me this time feeding two and I can see that people would find it difficult but to be honest, what I have found the hardest is not the actual breast feeding, but the fact I need another pair of hands! Whilst they hospital (in France) was very quick to talk about bottles, I really believe it's more the fact you need another person to help - pass babies, take babies etc. which is why I pleaded to leave hospital earlier than expected. Now exactly 2 weeks on (although I think I mentioned that my twins have different birthdays as Florence was born 10 to midnight, and Lily-Rose the next morning, 45 minutes later!) I am still home-based most the time, breast-feeding for what feels like a lot of the day (and night!) but expect this would be the same even if I wasn't feeding them.

I can clearly understand why mums of twins use bottles and you never know how you will feel/how quickly you are on your feet again etc and so some of these decisions are almost made for you. So if you want to BF, I'd give it a go (a couple of days of that good old early stuff is great for the babies) but don't worry if it doesn't work completely as you want it to. Chances are it will, but most important thing is that you and the babies are together, enjoying those early days, enjoying the cuddles and snuggles with them, congratulating yourself for being so clever to produce two perfect babies!

Enjoy it all. And best of luck for wednesday. I didn't sleep more than a couple of hours the night before I was induced but somehow you find the strength to survive the next few days (they are now a blur to me) and before you know it you'll be home with the babies. Til then, take all the help offered at hospital and don't forget to take your camera so you can photograph those special moments.

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