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Here we go. More unexpurgated chat about our darling angels, all of whom are gifted and have exceptionally calm and admirably-coping parents.
LVB Pram conversation?!?! Update me! Buggies/Prams are my favourite topic!!
My vent really isn't very exciting - but will still write a whole essay about it, I'm sure!
So, went over to a friends house for a catch up as she's recently had a new baby - she said that evenings were best for her as baby is normally awake, and is obviously good for us too. Parked on main road where her house is and all was fine.
Heard a huge crash outside and so looked out window - some complete drunk had smashed into the back of my car!! Was so drunk that he couldn't even get out of his car. Was only the start of the problems - because we imported my car from America, obviously no UK garage has any bits to mend it with. All very lame now, but it was just a total arse trying to get a garage to ship bits over, and then a garage here to fix it. At the time it was seriously annoying, but like I said, definitely feels inadequate now!
Half term with the girls was a bit hard as we had bad weather - just a bit snowy, then torrential rain etc.. and we are definitely not inside people! The girls just go stir crazy if they stay in. On one day it was still torrentially raining but we just needed to go out - got all the waterproof stuff out, went to the park and just told the girls to do whatever! All fun at the time, but then when we got home they were running in out of the rain, all muddy boots etc etc. Takes soooo long peeling soaking wet clothes off 5 small girls!
Cornwall Congratulations on the news of your DT's!! Sounds like you've been through a bit of a rough time, but really glad to hear that you've come through it now - and whats more, with twins! Hope that mucky comes back on to talk to you soon.
Kate I just need a toddler version of the I candy really, love, love, loved that pram but the girls outgrew it. We have a very narrow hallway (Victorian terrace) so I need a slim pram but can seem to find a toddler version that is easy to push. Any ideas?
Cornwall Congratulations! I am a Cornish girl myself good luck for the weeks/months/years ahead, twins are brilliant, despite my complaining
Cornwall - I was on the temping threads with you and Lottie way back. It felt like an eternity when I was trying to get pregnant, but as my boys will be 4 in 3 months I can't imagine how you have managed to keep going! Hope you have an agreeable pregnancy, I'm so excited for you. I found the first 3 years a bit trying (though I always expected to struggle with the baby/toddler years), but listening to them this morning having a ridiculously coherent yet nonsensical conversation about what characters they were creating and the wild adventures they were planning was a joy!!
Mucky/Cerub - so sorry things are so difficult for you just now. I find it a bit scary to hear as my relationship is nowhere near the rock solid place it once was (in the 10 years pre-children). I hope you are managing to work this out as amicably as possible between you.
Mostly we are just focussing on our ongoing failure to sell our flat. Loads of viewings (ie tidying and trying to get rid of children) but no interest. I'm going to do another big clean up then we'll drop the price and see how that goes. Not much to buy either at the moment, so perhaps we shouldn't be in too much of a rush.
Thank you all for your lovely messages.
Yes Rattling, your name has just clicked! It has been 7yrs TTC with 3 mc and one bio chemical pg. These babies are a result of our 7th cycle of IVF, this time abroad and with donor eggs and sperm. It has been very very hard sometimes especially seeing people start and complete their families in the time that we couldn't even get off the starting blocks but we persevered and, hopefully, we have got here!
LaVita, I love Cornwall but I'm afraid I'm not from there, it's my street name in London
LVB I know what you mean - I had an iCandy and the seats really aren't that big!
Are you looking to buy another similar to an iCandy (Britax B-smart etc?) or more of a 'pop up' style buggy?
How tall are your girls?
What about a Phil and Teds? The new Verve looks lovely, and although the back seat is smaller - your girls wouldn't be sleeping in there? And soon they will want to be out walking anyway - so would be able to hop in and out?
Am not sure about the B-smart - haven't had one or pushed one, but have heard that it's quite heavy; so probably not good for 2 toddlers. Not sure how big the second seat is though?
Again, not had/pushed one, and haven't looked into the seat heights, but the Jane Twone could be an option? The seats look pretty tall to me! I've had a Jane Powertwin before and it is a totally fabulous buggy! Not the best looking I know, and I wasn't too impressed with it 'til I had a push! Literally turns on a sixpence, but think the front seat would be too small really. But the Twone could be a contender?
I'm pretty sure that they would both fit in the ABC Zoom, but that thing really is a beast to be avoided at all cost! Have no idea why it is so massive?! Could be an option if you can't find anything else though.
Oooh how I love good buggy talk!
Where are you moving to rattling? Are you staying in Edinburgh? I loved living in Edinburgh but it was so expensive to buy anything. Talking of which, how is your house selling/hunting going tarti ?
Congratulations cornwall73. You sound like you have had a long journey. Hope you are keeping well and my advice would be to indulge yourself in as much sleep pre twins as poss.
Hope you are both doing OK cerub and mucky
Just marking place really. Congratulations Cornwall, I would definitely echo Chesti's sleep advice!
Back tomorrow when sober for proper update
Rattling I can't imagine the constant stress of tidying for viewings, having to get rid of the kids etc etc and all to no avail. I was in bits just getting it sorted for the photos to be taken. Our sign went up yesterday but the details aren't online yesterday as I wanted a few things changing and no one's got back to me. So far they're pretty hard to get hold of which isn't a great sign . I guess ours is a cheap house so probably not a priority.
How long has yours been on the market for Rattling?
Cerub how are you doing?
Kate you are a star, I think an ABCzoom is what I need it's the only think that gives them both enough room for another year in the pram. Is it really that bad? I hate all the others, there just isn't enough space.
I just wrote a huge post which disappeared! Am off to the DT's as F has a very high temp and puked through the night. Hair appointment and driving lesson cancelled!
Poor you, hope she's ok Lavita.
Update: had lovely meet up with ALL and her three angelic children today. I was child free as had bunged them in nursery to get house ship shape for EA photos, so was able to really absorb the fact that the mini-ALLs have perfect table manners and are every but as cute as their fb photos...
Off to see friend on the eve of her wedding tonight. Her husband to be has just been told he has a big tumour possibly cancer which needs urgent operation. They've already had to bring the wedding forward and scale it right down due to surprise pregnancy, so will be doing everything possible to make sure tomorrow is special for them.
Seems to be nothing but bad news at the moment...
to you all x
LVB Glad to be of Pram service! No I don't think it's bad at all - if that's what you need! I only meant that it should be avoided at all costs because of it's size - I didn't know whether you were hoping to 'downsize'. If they both fit, then perfect With the ABC they can both face outwards (no seat kicking!) or both face inwards so that they can talk to each other, which is nice.
I've just been thinking - have a look at one of my ABC Adventure buggy! You can get the single ABC (Not the same company as the ABC Zoom... sorry is going to be confusing!) and then the toddler seat to go on top! The base seat is huge, and it doesn't really matter how big they are with the top seat if you get the toddler one - it's like a supermarket trolley seat in that any age child can fit in it.
Ohh let me just find you a picture.. here - do you see what I mean by the child on top? Obviously you'd have the single on the bottom, rather than the double!
Hope F is feeling better - sickness doesn't sound good How did you get on at Dr's?
Both girls have a virus, V seemed fine just had red eyes but she had a high temp too another boring day at home tomorrow.
Really like the other pram too Kate, you really are, our resident expert
Hope Mucky & Cerub are ok, DP and I definitely aren't as stable as we were pre children, I think it puts a huge amountof strain on a relationship. As a SAHM pretty much I think I really should get married as I would be in an awful situation if we ever split
So of our wedding plans, there was torrential rain in Italy the day we were going to look at our venue (a sign maybe!) so the plan was to holiday therein the Summer and make a decision.
The more I think about it, the more stressed I feel. I just don't think I can be bothered with a big "do"
Spoke to DP about running off on a mega family holiday, Hawaii, get married on a beach just us and the girls, enjoy the sun, sea and sand, then stop at Disneyland in LA for a few days on the return. It will cost a fortune but would be amazing and a lot cheaper than a wedding!
Thoughts please, also means no family or friends but still...
Thanks Tarti - they were on form today . We had a lovely time & I got the chance to keep my hand in with teacher death stares etc in the play area afternoon you left. And grandma had made sausages for dinner. Can't have too many sausages
Hope your girls feel better soon Lavita. I think your musings over an intimate wedding while on hol sound ideal. But then I'm not a wedding person so not the best to comment. If we ever did it I think we'd do it in secret & not tell anyone ever. I know my mum (& probably the in laws) would be less than impressed.
Camping out at parents almost done & it hasn't been as bad as I imagined. Boys are really missing dp & pretty keen to get back home. Building work seems to be going well. We'll be going back to a shell of a downstairs on Saturday & will be eating out lots and going back only to shower / bed but the bulk of the really dirty stuff is done. Mostly putting back together to do now.... Can't wait!
I love your wedding idea Lavita. Just do whatever will make you and your DP most happy. The thought of trying to juggle everyday life with organising a big traditional wedding IN ANOTHER COUNTRY makes me feel faint!
Hello all. Apologies for not posting more often - I do read regularly but daren't post for fear of alerting you all to the sudden Jeremy Kyle-esque nature of my new "life"
However - Cornwall - that is EXCELLENT news!!! Would you think me a dreadful stalker if I admitted to having dropped in regularly to FF, so already knew you were going off for treatment abroad? I had however missed the fact that you are expecting twins!!! Massive congratulations - you must be over the moon. What a fantastic journey you have ahead of you...
I promise I'll come back to write more soon. It's all just so hideous, I feel like not only are we getting divorced, but I happen to have married quite the worst type when it comes to it. He's trying for 50% residency of the children, wants to sell the house, refuses to move out, is being an utter arse about absolutely everything... etc etc. Oh and, we're now all living on benefits and he's contributing the grand sum of FIVE POUNDS per week towards his children. There are no words. Things have become unbelievably grim and all I can say is I'm slowly developing the fighting spirit needed to overcome the daily attacks on every single aspect of life. Last week it was him deviously trying to get the girls out of their nursery because post-divorce he doesn't want to be liable for any sort of private school or nursery fees and at the moment they're in a private nursery. So not only are the girls going through massive and very upsetting changes he's also wanting to move them to a different nursery and away from the one constant in their lives which is nothing to do with us. As I say, there are no words.
Oh Mucks big hugs from here, you have all our support
Glad you have got your fighting spirit, I can imagine you feel in the worst possible place, but you will get out the other side of this.
Thinking of you and sending some of my fighting gumption your way (he is a complete arse agreed!)
Oh mucky I'm sorry to hear you are having such a horrible time. I don't really have any advice, but if I can help in any way just let me know.
Have spent the evening with a bottle of wine and a stack of photos, and have managed to update my photo albums to Dec 2010, and have photos printed to Aug 2011. Still massively behind but feel a bit happier. Photo albums are one of my things, and I've done an album a year since 2000. It used to be a hobby, but now is so overdue is turning into a thing I feel guilty about and a bit of a chore. Lovely looking back on pics of the kids 2 years ago though. However the albums from pre kids are full of photos of trips abroad/mad parties/glamorous wedings etc, and since 2008 the albums are full of photos of the kids. where has my life gone! Must try harder to have a life beyond the kids and have photographic evidence of it to make the albums less monotonous
Mucky. It just sounds too awful for words. Of course you will come out the other side of this and your girls will be fine because you will have protected them from the worst, but it truly does sound horrific for you. Am holding your hand throughout x x x
Mucky Please don't feel like you can't vent it all to us - I'm sure it must help to just splurge it all out sometimes, even just writing it all down? Besides, we don't mind a bit of Jeremy-Kyle-ness every now and then (in fact I am secretly quite partial!) if it helps to get things off your shoulders.
I'm sorry to hear that he is just being a bastard about it all - why can't men just be amicable about things like this?! I don't think they realise that they make things so much harder for themselves by being such knobs. Am not surprised that you're so angry. Am pleased, but also sorry, that you've had to develop such a fighting spirit - I just wish it was easier for you and the girls.
Where are you staying now? Is there any way that you can go and stay with family for a bit, with the girls, just to give you a bit of a rest? Sending huge hugs and copious bottles of wine x
Sorry for the rambling of the other night, not very sensitive considering what is going on with cerub and mucky at the moment. Must step away from the internet after drinking wine.
We are the house of lurgy at the moment. J in particular has been unwell, high temp, vomiting, ear ache. The whole smogasboard it seems. We are still aiming for that perfect week when we actually get them all to nursery/childminders without some sort of illness/holiday etc. And H is now on antibiotics for 6 weeks to try and clear the chronic ear infections she has been having. ENT is recommending grommets, if the glue ear doesn't clear up.
Hope everyone else's little ones are getting over their colds and viruses too.
Chesti your message about photos reminded me how badly I need to do the same. It has been hanging over me since before they were born so of course now there are THOUSANDS.
Must get on with it.
Feel the girls' behaviour has become really quite boisterous and often disobedient. DH won't hear a word of it and thinks they are angels, which is most annoying, and I think his idea of what is acceptable/appropriate behaviour is actually quite far removed from mine. I can see how this kind of thing can become a serious problem in a family/marriage
In other news, had an offer on the house on Saturday - day 3 of being on the market - I mean it was a laughably, wouldn't-even-consider it-low offer but it was a bit of an odd, unique situation. Anyway more viewings tomorrow and another later in the week so am cautiously hopeful. I'm telling myself if you actually go and look round somewhere then you must be ok with the vague price and location... (These are the issues with the house - it's nicely presented so if we can get viewers who are ok with the location I'm sure we can shift it!).
Sorry for the obsessive house news I've got a one track mind at the moment
Mucky, I agree. From what little I know of the situation 'arse' is quite tame. I know it must be difficult all round but still. Good that you've found some fight and I hope you can feel you're moving forwards. Cerub, you too
Wow, Tarti - promising! Tho makes it more of a scary real possibility too I guess. & I'm like you both in being behind in keeping the photo albums up to date tho I'm just pleased I'm vaguely up to date with printing out our best ones!
Our house was broken into last night while we were all sleeping . Luckily we didn't hear a thing even tho c had a pretty unsettled night & I felt I'd been awake most of it. Evidently not, although I wonder if I did hear something but not realise someone was in. I'd even gone down to the fridge through the night to get c some cheese thinking she may be hungry. Bizarrely, the only things missing are..... A multipack of snickers and a 4 pint milk carton both taken from the fridge . The police were most perplexed .
OMG ALL, that is awful. How on earth are you managing to sound sanguine about it?! Very glad they didn't take anything of value (snickers apart) and that they didn't bother any of you. Hope the locks are well and truly secured now. Was it the builders' fault really that it wasn't secure against intruders?
More support for Mucky from these quarters. What a heap of crap to have to deal with, I know you don't want pity so take a bruising thump to the arm instead. Hope the girls are feeling a bit better today, poor things.
I'm plodding along here. Had a slump last week when the initial coping response wore off, which wasn't unrelated to a) seeing a solicitor about my rights and about costs of divorce, and b) having the worst day out with toddler twins in recorded history. Feel a bit better again now and am being wonderfully supported by friends. Parents being
extremely a bit ranty about the whole thing, very very upset and disappointed but going on about it to me is not the right response as I have my own problems to handle.
Meanwhile, my two turn two tomorrow! Happy birthday, kids - daddy's bought you a broken home . They have embraced the terrible twos a few days early and the palaver of getting them dressed and undressed is unbelievable, they're just so devious about it!
Sounds very positive on the sale front tarti and hope a sensible offer pops up soon so you can stop worrying about keeping it tidy etc - a Sisyphean task if ever there was one. What are the girls doing that's particularly disobedient?
Sorry to hear about all the ailments at home chesti. It really does feel as though illness piles on top of illness sometimes. Allegedly there's a payoff for nursery lurgies at some point when they don't get so many colds later in childhood but that might be a cruel joke.
LVB what did DP say to the Hawaiian idea? Does he need time to let it percolate or did he see the attraction too? I can only guess that Italian in laws may mean even more pressure than usual to have a big family affair, but as said before the very idea of trying to organise a wedding in another country/another language/with twins etc would bring me out in a rash so I wouldn't blame you at all. I guess the key question is whether you'd ever look back and feel a bit regretful if you hadn't had the bridesmaids, big party, loads of friends etc type of bash (and as far as possible disregard what other people apart from DP might say about it).