ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
OTT / self-indulgent I know, but Toddler Twin Tantrums..... aaargh! Just as well they're so cute too. Ds2 was v funny today wiggling his bum singing `uh, uh Bobby' in response to me dancing round the kitchen to `Bobby's girl'...
Cerub Am so sorry to hear about your mum - it sounds very painful for her I suppose in some ways its good to actually have a diagnosis rather than constantly waiting for answers. I hope you all had a better, and less painful, nights sleep.
You are so right in the fact that everyone, when you tell them you are pregnant with multiples, tells you how you are going to struggle and how hard it will be - before even congratulating you! It's kind of like, the struggling and hardwork comes before the fact that we are bloody lucky to be blessed with multiples! So when everyone has bigged up how hard it will be, you just want to prove them wrong!
But yes, I have to say that DH is pretty good now It sounds extremely organised, but every now and then, when DD's 'change' a bit, we sit down and discuss how things might change and how we'll deal with it together . E.g now that Indie will be starting school, shes going to be really tired when she gets home and so will probably start acting up at bedtime. So we've been thinking that we may do bedtimes a bit differently and have 1 of us dealing with DD1 and Indie, and the other dealing with DTrips - splitting them up helps behaviour on all sides!
I find that its easier to explain things to him as you would a child. If I didn't do all this 'explaining' the first night when Indie is crazily tired and turning into a wild animal, he will start fretting and faffing about and not knowing what to do etc.
We definitely needed a big argument and sort out for him to realize that he needed to step up a bit!
Mucky Do you remember that bloody thread a few months ago when that woman tried saying that having twins is easier than having 2 separate children? That is the same situation!!! Multiples are harder! With singletons, you may have 2 that are in annoying phases, but they are still different phases, rather than having 2/3 children in the exact same phase!
Oooh can't wait to check out the thread!
Here's to a calmer night for you all Cerub. Your poor mum, I've heard gallstones can be really excruciating.
Kate - lovely to hear from you. Also fascinating to read your story. Completely agree with the others - I'm sure I'm not the only one who often reads your posts slack-jawed with thinking about the logistics of everyday life, and what an incredible job you appear to be doing. I get utterly exasperated with just the two children - you know, the scenario you mention pre triplets Agree that although it sounds like it's been a long journey, your DH has improved admirably. Maybe I can hope for the same with mine??!
Righto, after I've posted this I'm going to start a new thread. And then browse for nice hotels in a good location.
Diagnosis is an inflamed gall bladder, which is apparently often down to gallstones so can be incredibly painful. No op yet but presumably it is under consideration to stop it recurring, and meantime painkillers & antibiotics. Hopefully we will all get a good rest tonight.
Hi kate and sorry to hear you've got pain of your own and a bit of a worry with Emme again recently. Hope the new tube is settling down nicely now & your own pain goes off fast.
Agree with LVB it's really helpful to hear your story and although you may feel ashamed of PND it's frankly amazing that you manage 5 girls so well, especially with the added complication of E's condition, so here's an order to give yourself a pat on the back too. Your DH sounds as though he had stepped up really well. Do you do house visits? . Seriously though it is really hard to admit to struggling - I think so many people tell us in advance that it'll be murder/how will we manage etc that we almost make our minds up then that we'll never lose face by admitting they're right! I know I did. And who's to say they were wrong actually but I do know on a moderate to good day I do blimming well, so there .
LVB your DP does sound like a good sort if he always does bed & bath. I would rather like that myself - somehow my heart still sinks a bit at the prospect of bath night, even though they are pretty good about it all now
about bloody time
Right, am going to bed down for the night now. Night all x
Not at all Kate, I think I'd questioned myself on many occasions about depression but I think it was general melancholy, finding it all a bit domestic and a chore .
The Healer comment was in regards to you being INFP, strange that we are all different, I know there are 16 set types but I thought that a few of us might be the same
ouch to the cyst, very painful, go and see your GP, you can get them drained I think.
LVB I'm so sorry, I hope I didn't make that sound as though I think you're depressed or something! I just went off on a bit of a tangent!
I know what you mean about not feeling completely yourself though - I think its worse when its been crap weather and DC are in a particularly 'testing' phase. I can't wait til the end of the holidays when all our groups go back to normal and we will all go back to normal too, hopefully!
I don't think thats laziness though - you need time to yourself sometimes!
I really am too stubborn for my own good - I can't really moan about finding it hard sometimes if I don't actually admit that its a bit tricky! Apart from my sisters, none of my family knew about everything that happened after DTrips were born, because I don't want people to think I can't cope. I'm totally fine now and all of that is in the past, but I need myself to understand that its okay to say that you're finding them a bit of a nightmare sometimes.
Speaking of which, we've had very good behaviour here this week! I think its because I'm counting down the days until school/preschool starts
Am sitting here in quite a large amount of pain tonight.. have a delightful cyst-type-thing under my armpit.
Anyway, enough of my bloody moaning!
How is your mum Cerub? Hope she's on the mend
Adds Kate The Healer to our 'A' team
Thanks for telling your story Kate, it helps, I think we all seem to put up a 'I can cope ' stance. I think I like painting a picture that DP is useless but he does help, does bed/bath every night, cooks a lot and let's me have
the very occasional lie in. I don't think I've been depressed just not entirely fulfilled.
To be honest I'm often very lazy with the girls, watch some Peppa an I relax on the sofa, DP gets home and I go upstairs and read on the bed, he has his own business too so often takes the afternoon off.
Yes, to the TTTTT and are you coming on our getaway Kate, I know it's ages away but what if we do January? It's quiet, we can drink lots of wine because it is cold out, go sale shopping the list is endless, Fri & Sat night?
Ahhhh so much to catch up on!!! Am so so sorry for lack of posts..
Emme had her new mic-key gastrostomy tube fitted, so we were in hospital for a day or 2 with that, and then she had a bit of a funny turn with it - just crazily high temperature, all floppy and being sick. Think it was half the pain relief and half the fact that we'd had to starve her for the general anaesthetic. I did try explaining the fact that she can barely go an hour or 2 without food, let alone about 10 hours by the time she finally went down. But anyway, she's still alive and fine now
ALL I literally cannot believe your DH snipped the wristband!
LVB Really sorry to hear you've been feeling down, but (sorry to x-post from ages ago) I have to agree with Cerub that it maybe it would be good to just relax and do absolutely nothing when the girls are at nursery. I know it seems like if they are going to nursery then you have to find something to do, but it really doesn't! Mine go to nursery and I purposely do nothing because I need a bloody break! Sometimes I will chuck some clothes on, a big coat, some big sunglasses, do the nursery run and then come home and get back into bed. Totally lazy and slobbish, but I need to be able to do nothing for a while to regain my sanity!
Although I may have raved about my DH on here before, I can 100% hear where you ladies are coming from. When it was just us and DD1 and DD2, we would always have 1 each and they were never too stressful because we only had 2. If DD2 acted up I would always deal with her as it was easier for everyone - DH just faff's around for ages trying to bribe her, trying to make her laugh and doing the whole 'oh look, a bird - lets go and find it', and then when she didn't respond to any of that DH would just flip out and not know what to do with her. Anyway, we were kind of like the 'perfect little family' with our 2 girls - when the triplets came along all that changed because there wasn't enough adults to go around. A lot changed when I was pregnant as was on bedrest towards the end and so he had to deal with everything. I think when the triplets came along, he thought everything would go back to 'normal' because I would be able to deal with them, but it doesn't work that way. DD1+2 were at that horrendous constant fighting and whinging stage, and then 3 tiny newborns?!?! After feeling really shitty for a while and having some horrible thoughts, I ended up just going to my old lovely GP who diagnosed PND - I was totally shocked as I never thought that I would be 'depressed' IYKWIM? I didn't know anyone else who'd had PND and, naively, thought there was a stereotype to a mother with PND. I just felt really embarrassed and kept thinking that I'm not the kind of person to be diagnosed with it. Ridiculous, I know. I confided everything in DH and said that I couldnt cope - I've never seen him feel so guilty and upset, he felt truly awful in himself for missing all the signs and feeling like he hadn't supported me. It wasn't that I felt he hadn't supported me, but he felt like I could cope with more than I could - and to be honest I should have told him that! Anyway, DH has his own business and was able to just go into work for an hour or 2 a day, when the triplets were asleep - he also took DD1+2 with him a lot too. Within a few weeks on antiDP's and having DH's help I felt soooo much better. He really was just so perfect and I couldn't fault him. I had another 'slip up' when the triplets were a bit older and I think he thought that he could 'relax' a bit, so i ended up doing most things again - we just had a huge huge row but managed to sort everything out; he realizes that it is 50:50 in our marriage, and for nearly 3 years now there hasn't been an issue. It took me going through some serious shit times to get there, but he is brilliant now and fully understands that I do need a break from them - when he gets home from work he takes over straight away because normally by then they are starting to act up. Don't get me wrong, he is in no way perfect, but so much better than he used to be - I think he finally realized that sometimes having 5 young children so close in age is fucking hard, and yes I will rarely admit it because I'm so stubborn and I don't want to be the stereotypical 'multiples' mum' who can't cope, and it doesn't mean I love them any less, but they are still hard.
And thats my story done.. Congratulations if you go to the end! I'm not really sure the point of me telling you all this (haha!) but it makes me feel a bit better as never really told too many people about how hard I did find it in the beginning. Sorry it was so long.
Loving the idea of Twins and Triplets Toddler Tantrums Two
TTTTT could stand for so much - Twins and Triplets turn Two and Three.
Oooh btw, my personality type was INFP... it is freakily true too!
Cerub didn't see your message, is R ok? at Donny.
Christ ALL am stunned at your friend's potty training success. How old exactly is her DD? I'm seriously avoiding it like the plague.
How are things cerub? Hope your dad is reassured by you being there and that you're holding up.
Yes mucky don't get me wrong York is fab for me, just don't want to be a pain for everyone.
Just playing with my gorgeous 6m old niece. Love them at this age
On my phone so excuse brevity but...
Cerub so sorry to hear about your mum; your poor dad too - sounds like he's worried sick. Hope she improves now she's being looked after in hospital.
tarti in distance yes it might feel unbalanced but I think it's the fastest connection in both directions. Let's keep thinking though.
ALL totally understand and of course dd is still a littlie think you're right though in that it might be a way off yet. Still loving the Weetabix pic!
LVB let me have a think re party - it does rest of curse on having actual friends to invite...
Kate! - hope all okay lovie. Up for a meet?
Which brings me neatly onto thread titles. How about TTTTT - Twin and Triplets Toddler Tantrums Two?
oh cerubina - any news yet? I hope she is feeling better, and your dad calmer soon.
Ugh tarti, friend's dd (1 wk older than boys) has been out of Nappies for a few weeks now and had 5 dry nights in a row. Good job I
use twins / boys as an excuse don't let the pressure get to me....
Girlie hotel night sounds fab. I am
one of those parents yet to get my head around leaving the littlies. More dd tbh since she still feeds/ cosleeps. Sounds like it might be a little while yet tho. Yep, in the NW here & York is v doable but we're used to 4 hr journeys with us all for a weekend so packing / travelling for 1 would be okt (I think that was a yes.... but)
'The artisan'..... a dream perhaps!
Thanks tarti. Just heard that R has had a little accident at nursery and banged her face on a table edge! Poor lady. It's all go chez nous.
If we didn't go for York it might be Peterborough or Donny so careful before you rule it out!
BTW we are fast running out of space on this thread - thoughts on new name? TTTT (twin toddler tantrums two)?
Sorry about your mum cerub. I hope she improves today xx
York feels a bit cheeky to be honest since almost everyone is in London... Off to study the map!
Hee hee, mucky is well living up to her Performer type - "ESFPs live in the moment, and tend not to like to plan ahead. They prefer to be free to take up whatever sounds diverting at the moment. They often fill their lives with hobbies, sports activities, and friends, and because they often lack a master plan, they can become overextended or unfocused when they have too many exciting things to do." And you doubted it applied to you?
I think York is probably most suitable place on the route between London and Newcastle, but how easy is it for ALL? Not sure where you are - Merseyside somewhere? I may have to stagger my weekend breaks as I am having one in mid-Oct for a friend's 40th but sure DH would grante another if I ask nicely. Yy to a spa, and afternoon tea!
I'm up at my folks' now as mum was admitted to hospital last night with bad tummy pains. Has been morphined to the eyeballs it seems and poor Dad doesn't know which way is up. Will go and visit once he's had a chance to rest. My first night away from the twins but not the nicest of circumstances :-(
It took us 4 hours to get back from York
When are we thinking? It would be nice to have a spa let's hope I start making some money to be able to afford it.
Mucky or Cerub do you fancy hosting a party for me?
York = an hour from Newcastle; 2 hours from London. That's got to be the most time-efficient way for all of us to get to each other although as we're all SW/SE London we'd need to add another hour or so onto that to get to the station. Another thought = Birmingham
although who'd want to go there? or what about Leamington Spa, 3hrs 20 direct train for tarti, 1hr 15ish for us?
Hmm yes, that's too far - was on iPhone in bed so not exactly well thought through
What about York? From memory quick to get to from London but fairly norf. This place has singles from £70. Crikey, somebody give me something else to do today
other than looking after my children and having a To Do list as long as my arm otherwise I'm going to be going boutique hotel online browsing bonkers
ALL I have just read back and caught up with the wrist band saga... <sobs>
Wow, 2 is such an unbelievably cute age. Which is lucky as they are also SO hideous at times.
Am utterly dreading potty training. Have got potties now and they opt to on them sometimes before baths but they rarely sit still long enough to do anything and then when put in the bath they will screeeeeam to be put back on their potty. Cue more screaming when removed from bath... Urgh. Do you think if I just leave it long enough they will do themselves?
Right go to bed tarti fgs
That looks delightful mucky, very 'us' I feel
Having been hung ho about travel though I think Gloucestershire might be a bit optimistic for me for a weekend jaunt, 5hrs ish I think. Although ALL may have similar problem if we went further east... Lots to ponder anyway!
Right, am deffo off to bed but before I go, what about this place?
Let the Internet browsing obsession with middle England hotels commence!
Yes, yes and yes! <overly keen, moi?>
Ok am blatantly enfj, The Teacher. Might as well accept my
tedious predictable fate.
I have been nice to the inlaws for over an hour. Job done, off to bed (to browse Internet...)
Am going over to my sister's tomorrow for the night, then hen do on sat (Chester races which I'm sure will be an immensely classy affair... Hmm) so two child free nights- result!
And have another one next weekend which I fear DH has forgotten about, as I'm going back home to Sheffield for some quality time with an old friend. We're going to have our colours done Am really excited about it! More
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