Mixed Race Hair

(547 Posts)
KatieMac Sun 31-Oct-04 15:57:15

If I start it here they can move it to the right place (If they decide to start a topic (& ever decide what to call it))

where do I start......

KatieMac Sun 31-Oct-04 21:34:23

Come on guys - quite a few of you wanted to talk hair....

Shall I start with how difficult I found it as a new mum dealing with Afro hair....and how my poor DD's hair borke and fell off 'cos I washed it too much.

Or about the time she got sand in it at playgroup and that cut the hairs and a load more fell out....

At least my SIL's both help keep me on the straight and narrow - however I was concerned that 'as she's nearly 7 - she should have it straightened' Not a chance

mammya Sun 31-Oct-04 22:14:59

Oh yes please I want to talk hair... I love my dd's mad curly hair, but boy is it hard work to maintain! Spent 2 videos plaiting it this morning! I count in videos because that's the only way I can get her to sit still for long enough...

KatieMac Sun 31-Oct-04 22:17:19

Been there ....done that.....I've cut it SHORT

People keep mistaking her for a boy (which is ridiculus) but when she swims 3 times a week it's more practical

sallystrawberry Mon 01-Nov-04 00:13:06

mammya I count in videos to lol, what products do you all use in your childrens hair?
I wash dd's hair once a fortnight sometimes leave it a bit longer so it dosent dry out, when I wash I use Johnsons baby shampoo then Johnsons baby conditioner but I dont rinse it out I leave it in and then sit dd in front of tv and brush it all whilst still wet and covered in conditioner.
I use Pink oil moisturiser (just ran out need to buy some more) if its good enough for dd's nan its good enough for dd, I need a better conditioner though as her hair still is a bit to dry.
I keep it plaited most of the time as it saves on the brushing.
Lucky as ds is just happy to have his kept short so no problem there.

femi Mon 01-Nov-04 09:47:53

DD (9 months) has a gorgeous head of curls but oh, the agony of brushing and combing! I dread it every day. Currently using SOS shampoo (for dry hair & scalps) + Body Shop leave-in conditioner + Body Shop detangler. Then when I comb it I use BabyLove detangling spray. Too many products, I know! They build up and I have to wash them out - but if I don't use them it just goes into one big tangled fuzz. Also BabyLove has such a strong scent - ugh! Still experimenting as to what works best so would appreciate tips. Neither 'European' nor 'Afro' products seem to quite work. Sometimes I wish I lived in the States: seen this site ?

Also does anyone else get irritated at the way adults want to touch mixed-race hair all the time, like they want to know what it feels like? I've never seen white babies being touched in this way and it gets on my nerves. DH (afrocaribbean) says he suffered from this all the time at school and it became a big thing for him.

femi Mon 01-Nov-04 09:51:40

And - as the white mum of a mixed-race child, I feel such PRESSURE to get this thing right!! Oh, the shame of having a baby with 'bad hair' and ashy knees!

KatieMac Mon 01-Nov-04 10:17:11

Oh Femi you are SO right everyone touches her hair - it's like an assault
In Spain she asked for a hat 'to stop people patting her - like a dog'!! out of the mouth of babes
I use Pro-line Oil Moisturizing Lotion - It's very good (and only one product) It builds up over the week but washes out quite easily (with head & Shoulders)

Poshpaws Mon 01-Nov-04 10:25:28

Hi all. Nice to know there are other mums on here with mixed-race babies!

I use a pink coloured shampoo for children with afro hair on Ds's hair (can't remember the name). Used to use Johnson's products but used to dry out his hair. Luckily it's ok for him to have it short

I also agree about the touching or marvelling at his curly hair, like it is something rather alien. People do it in a nice way, but it is very annoying.

femi Mon 01-Nov-04 10:31:24

Is it Beautiful Beginnings or some such, poshpaws?

Poshpaws Mon 01-Nov-04 10:45:52

No, that does not ring a bell. The label has a picture of a little black baby with very soft- looking hair.

It will come to me....eventually!!

BTW what are ashy knees?

misdee Mon 01-Nov-04 10:47:51

not mixed race, but cud u offer some advice?

my dd2 has a head of ringlets. its mad trying to keep the curls nice. what could i use on it? have tried detangling sprays, leave in conditioners etc, but she still wakes up with a big bush of hair at the back. any special brushes/treatments would be fab. asked my hairdresser, (who wont cut more than dd2 fringe lol), and she is stumped.

btw lots of people touch her hair as well. thinks its the novelty of curls really.

femi Mon 01-Nov-04 10:50:25

You know poshpaws when the skin goes all grey and ashy-looking because it hasn't been creamed!
Widely considered a classic sign of the neglectfulness/ignorance of white mums who don't know about the importance of lotion ...

femi Mon 01-Nov-04 10:51:34

You've described DD's hair exactly misdee. Wish I had the answer! The curls.biz site might interest you too - link below

misdee Mon 01-Nov-04 10:52:30

can i see if this works here dd2 is 3rd pic

femi Mon 01-Nov-04 10:53:03

nope, got a file inaccessible message

misdee Mon 01-Nov-04 10:54:28

darn. will figure it out soon.

i have plaited dd2 hair the last few nights to stop the mttiness which makes things easier but now her hair isnt as curly. might go dampen it and curl it up.

misdee Mon 01-Nov-04 10:57:57

try again

was taken last year, so now dd2 hair is past her shoulders, more ringlets, and actually more blonde.

Poshpaws Mon 01-Nov-04 10:58:10

Ok femi, see what you mean. Being black myself, I hide my kness when I haven't creamed them . Have you tried cocoa butter?

misdee, don't know if you live in a multi-cultural area, but have you tried any of the afro shampoos on dd's hair? The ones for children are not oily or heavy so maybe of some use.

Must try and remember the name of that product....

misdee Mon 01-Nov-04 10:59:33

we did have an afro hair care shop in hatfield but it seems to have vanished the last time i went to hatfield. anything i can order online?

Poshpaws Mon 01-Nov-04 11:06:14

Sorry, don't know of any on-line shops. Maybe someone else may be able to help.

Poshpaws Mon 01-Nov-04 11:07:10

Oh...try ASDA. Apparently, they sell black hair-care products, although what their range is I'm, not sure.

misdee Mon 01-Nov-04 11:13:27

cheers. will have a look when i go to th one in stevenage (wont go in hatfield asda for personal reasons)

tech (MNHQ) Mon 01-Nov-04 11:15:29

We've added a "multiracial families" topic. I'll move this thread there. Regards, Tech

RnB Mon 01-Nov-04 12:06:38

Message withdrawn

LipstickMum Mon 01-Nov-04 12:08:38

We have lift off!!

motherinferior Mon 01-Nov-04 12:13:07

I keep contemplating this thread re my very, very curly dd1's hair.

LipstickMum Mon 01-Nov-04 12:15:59

I am still struggling to find a product for my mixed afro/european hair, let alone my dd's!

Her's just seems to be'curly' her dad is european. But I can't find anything either. I wash it once a week, but only because we go to swimming lessons then. When it's wet I put pink oil in it (which is what I use) and that gives nice curls, but is too heavy to use every day.

I used to have my head pattred as a child, dd doesn't, her hair is not afro looking really.

mieow Mon 01-Nov-04 12:17:00

misdee, they is a hair care stall in Stevenage indoor market

sallystrawberry Mon 01-Nov-04 12:50:01

When my dd has bunches people always touch them, it dosent bother me or her to much but I do notice it, shes very outspoken so if she dosent like it she will say (and shes only 2 1/2 lol).
Palmers cocoa butter is lovely smells like chocolate, great for ashy knees lol but abit pricey, I used to cream ds everyday after his bath but got a bit lazy with dd and dont do it regularly although make sure I remember in the summer when shes wearing shorts.

Uhu Mon 01-Nov-04 13:23:54

This is fascinating. Strangers always comment on my twin DSs hair and sometimes they even touch their hair. I think it is very rude because they are not performing monkeys.

A recent issue of Black Hair and Beauty magazine did a feature on mixed race hair so if you can find it, it should help. Their website is www.blackbeautyandhair.com.

toky Mon 01-Nov-04 13:39:52

Can't find that article Uhu but this is useful - not specifically mixed race, but specific to kids and includes advice for mixed-race hair

sallystrawberry Mon 01-Nov-04 13:43:07

Ive used the Dark & Lovely’s Beautiful Beginnings Haircare range and found it quite good.

mammya Mon 01-Nov-04 17:18:58

I used to use products for afro hair, tried several but settled on BabyLove as the ones with least horrid smell, but have grown concerned at the amount of chemicals in these products. Now I just use a detangling baby shampoo (l'oreal at the mo)every fortnight or so, and desert essence tea tree oil conditioner (also good nit repellent apparently!) which I don't rinse out and then have a good combing & plaiting session. The plaits or cornrows (depends how dextrous I am feeling!) stay until they look too messy and then I let her have an afro till the next shampoo. When she's got an afro I just run my fingers in her hair with a little conditioner every morning. That's when we get lots of disaproving looks from black women but I don't care, I love her hair when it's left natural . ONce in a while when she won't sit still for combing/plaiting I threaten a haircut which calms her right down!

JuniperDewdrop Mon 01-Nov-04 17:45:50

Congrats on your topic!!

I used to use Redken's moisturising products on afro hair when hairdressing. They're expensive but they're very concentrated so you don't need to use much. The ph is perfect for hair whereas if you do a ph test on Johnson's products, yikes!! They're baby shampoo is the right ph for eyes not hair so that if it goes in them it doesn't sting.

Poshpaws Tue 02-Nov-04 10:58:29

Mammya, my sis uses L'Oreal products on her children's hair as well.
Stuff what some Black women think - sometimes you can't win what you do with your mixed race children. And I should know- I am a Black woman with a mixed race child. Oh the shame and treachery

The shampoo I was trying to remember the name of yesterday is Soft and Precious.

moosh Tue 02-Nov-04 13:10:26

Have boys so am lucky. Only hacve ds 8 months hardly any hair but ds1 (4yrs) had tons of it. He would scream when I tried to comb it so when he got to 2.5 yrs I began shaving it regulary every 6 weeks. I am sooooooo glad I haven't got girls I wouldn't be able to make my hair look neat. My own hair is a mess!!!!

moosh Tue 02-Nov-04 13:26:54

Saying that when ds1 was younger and had lush curly hair, I used Loreal s/poo for curly hair but I would rub Lusters PCJ Oil Creame for children. It would keep his hair really soft and well conditioned. I still use it now after I have shaved his head.

Cha Tue 02-Nov-04 17:53:29

My dd has soft brown curls but her hair is quite dry and 'puffy' (hairdresser's term, not mine)especially at the back of her head. When she wakes up in the mornings she looks like the Mad Professor. I tried all sorts of hair products (ranging from olive oil to Frizz ease hair serum) but she always looked like she had wet look gel in her hair, not a good look. Then one day my sister left her expensive hair product behind (she is the kind of sister who takes extraordinarily good care of her hair, unlike me) and went back to the States where she was then living. I tried a little on dd's hair and it was WONDERFUL. It transformed the wild bush into soft, managable curls in an instant and dried without leaving her hair 'crispy'. The name of the product is vitapro fusion leave-in hair treatment, and is a spray in conditioner. All the ingredients are organic - and I mean that - not one single sodium polymorphism or laurthe sulphante or PEG 3 or whatever chemicals we douse our hair in (yes, I am one of those sad people who peruse the ingredient list of bath products whilst lazily soaking) - it is all water and oils - rosemary, nettle, thyme, lavender etc etc. I sprayed it on every morning when I had combed the knots out and it never built up and her hair always smelt lovely. In fact the only time I wash her hair is when she gets nits. Another thread all together.

This wonder stuff is made by a company called Giovanni and as far as my extensive research goes (emailing their website to ask if they sold in the UK - no reply), it is only available in the States. I used to get my sister to buy me bottles of the stuff whenever she came home but now she has returned to England for good and our last bottle has come to an end...... Anyone out there know if I can get hold of this wonder stuff (or a similar product) here?

Just off to cook ackee and saltfish, in an attempt to be the perfect wife and mother. Oh, and by the way, my ds has straight blond hair, just like mine. No one stares, not that I notice anyway, but two little black girls in the playground the other day did ask dp if our two were albino.

toky Tue 02-Nov-04 19:46:09

Hmm, Cha, I think I'm going to have to try this stuff! From a quick web trawl, it looks like it's available from lots of US sites - I've never ordered anything from the States over the web but I see 'The Vitamin Shoppe' sells it on amazon.com, which should at least be reliable.

toky Tue 02-Nov-04 19:47:21

It's here

mammya Tue 02-Nov-04 22:02:07

Cha, thanks for that info. My dd's hair sounds a lot like your dd's and I think I'm going to try this product as well. Toky thanks for the link! I'm also one of those people who read products' ingredients lists, although I don't think it's so sad .

MarsLady Tue 02-Nov-04 23:21:05

How I am loving mumsnet. Just when I think that there's nothing more to discover up pops a multicultural families thread. Loving what I'm hearing about hair. Am a black woman learning new things about my children's hair from white women. My sister would die! lol.

Cha Wed 03-Nov-04 13:53:27

Cheers Toky, will check that out. Do still have an (ex) brother in law in the States who is coming home for Xmas but feel a little shy of asking him to go out shopping from hair products...

For girls with soft curls that go frizzy upon brushing - another thing I have discovered is that once you brush the knots out (and have huge hair standing on end) spraying it with water damps it all down and brings back the curls. I discovered this when the last bottle of the wonderstuff was coming to an end and I filled it with water to make it last a bit longer. It has a similar effect, though obviously not as nice for the hair. It's what I'm using at the moment anyway........... Pleased you are loving mumsnet, MarsLady - i have had a few months 'off' and am very glad to be back! This is a bit cheeky, but you don't happen to know how long you should boil saltfish for. My MIL said 3x, for five minutes each time, changing the water. Did this and it was like rubber.

MarsLady Wed 03-Nov-04 20:47:49

Hi Cha. Ok, saltfish! I boil the kettle and pour the water onto the saltfish. Then I drain it and do it again 3X. I taste it to see if it's too salty. I keep doing the kettle/water thing until it tastes right. When I cook it with the ackee I simmer it and it's lovely. Tip for the ackee, drain the brine then pour over warm water and drain again before adding to saltfish. Hope that's helpful. Mars

Cha Thu 04-Nov-04 15:11:37

OK - so you don't cook it, really, just keep rinsing it with boiling water. Makes much more sense. MIL is not from Jamaica (Aruba) so wasn't very au fait with ackee and saltfish. Can you make it just with ordinary cod? Or wouldn't it taste right? Cheers, Mars, for the top tips - must get some more hair stuff in though or we'll be in trouble. Maybe we should start a NEW TOPIC - multicultural cooking.............

Blu Thu 04-Nov-04 15:53:13

Asian/Caucasian DS's hair is v curly and I found 'black' products too heavy but Body Shop leave in conditioner used v liberally does the trick.

Uhu Thu 04-Nov-04 16:13:10

Cha

I tend to soak the saltfish overnight in coldwater as this drags out much of the salt. I then boil it with water for 5-10 minutes, leave to cool and then flake the fish. I add it, along with ackee, to onions, garlic and red or green pepper which has been previously stir fried. DH (white British)likes it and he is not overly keen on West Indian food. HTH

Cha Fri 05-Nov-04 18:36:29

Cheers, Uhu. Whilst you are all here and such willing and capable cookery advisers.... what's the best way to do rice and peas?

Blu - how's life? Have yet to bump into you in Brockwell Park. going to the fireworks in a minute, though sure won't bump into you there!

MarsLady Fri 05-Nov-04 18:43:37

Hi Cha. I also add peppers to the dish and half an onion to make my ackee and saltfish. Do you make fried dumplings and serve for Sunday breakfast? My mum always did. That was a reason to hurry home from church. lol

MarsLady Fri 05-Nov-04 18:46:05

Oh, and no, you can't make it with cod. not the same at all. kisses

Cha Sun 07-Nov-04 13:59:01

Thanks Mars - have to go into Brixton again and get another packet of saltfish. No - don't know how to do dumplings tho we often have them from the local takeaway. I have made rice and peas, ackee and saltfish and fried plantain many a time - but always with my friend in tow to tell me what to do. It's a bit like directions though, once you come to do it on your own, you get totally lost.
Totally aware I have hijacked this thread and smeared food all over it. Sorry folks who want to talk hair, shall shut up now and start a new thread!

MarsLady Sun 07-Nov-04 14:02:04

see you on the new thread Cha

Lupe Fri 12-Nov-04 15:43:47

Hi all - I'm a new mum to a beautiful 3 1/2 month old girl with loads and loads of hair! It's very wavy rather than at all afro-looking - my MIL (Jamaican) said 'all babies are born with straight hair' but I'm starting to wonder... DH keeps saying 'when's it going to turn afro?' Would be interested to hear from other mums as to how their babies hair changed over time - btw she hasn't lost any hair at all.

MarsLady Fri 12-Nov-04 17:09:16

hi Lupe. My ds1 and the dts have all got wavy dark hair. My dd1 and dd2 have both got curly hair. NOT all babies are born with straight hair. dd1 had no hair at all for about 18 months and when it came it was curly. My mother (Jamaican)is always telling me things like cutting the baby's hair before the baby walks holds up the walking lol. bless

Zinger Fri 12-Nov-04 17:13:42

Sounds very like my DD's hair Lupe - hers did gradually go curly and now at nearly 10 months it's classic mixed-race hair - very curly but fine and not afro. Hard work but utterly gorgeous

mammya Fri 12-Nov-04 22:42:26

My dd's hair was straight at first and started curling when she was about 3 months old. Now it's very curly, but it's quite fine with soft small ringlets, not afro. I agree with Zinger, hard work but sooo gorgeous!

Lupe Sat 13-Nov-04 10:38:37

thanks for all your comments - I'd also be interested to know if and when you started using 'products' or special shampoo - she's got so much hair I've had to wash it properly from the beginning! She's got a bit of cradle cap at the moment so I'm rubbing oil in and then using Infaderm shampoo. I also rub a little coconut oil through her hair after as it's very big and bouffant! I'd like to find something that would keep it soft looking without being greasy.

MarsLady Sat 13-Nov-04 10:58:42

I don't bother with special products with the babies. I just wash hair with kids shampoo. With the older ones I spray a product called gold into their hair before plaiting. Keeps it nice ans soft. Different people like different things. Do you have any sils who can advise you on hair care or are you happy with us?

Lupe Wed 17-Nov-04 10:10:10

Thanks Marslady - no, no sils, just a couple of bils with not much hair! So I'll certainly be coming back here for advice as she gets older although I'm lucky that we've got an afrocaribbean hairdresser just round the corner as well. btw, anyone tell me how long cradle cap normally takes to clear up? I think she is scratching it a bit as well which doesn't help.

MarsLady Wed 17-Nov-04 14:28:15

My DS1 had cradle cap for years. Probably lost it when he was about 5 or 6. Shouldn't worry. With the oil that you'll be putting in your darlings hair it should vanish with washing and brushing.

Ivybridgite Thu 18-Nov-04 15:33:17

DD is a week away from 12 months and we have never washed her hair yet. we treated her cradle cap with cocoa butter from the body shop and it dissappeared within two weeks and left her hair beautifully soft. She's bathed in oilatum plus every night and then lathered in cocoa butter from head to toe, her skin is great and her hair is really manageable, cocoa butter is slightly expensive but well worth it.

Lupe Thu 18-Nov-04 15:38:52

ivybridgite - didn't she ever get anything yucky in her hair that you wanted to wash out? my dd gets milk in hers - starts to get a bit stinky if I leave it without washing! I'd like to try the cocoa butter for the cradle cap but can't see how it wouldn't just end up clogging up her hair which is really long already.

Ivybridgite Thu 18-Nov-04 15:46:47

She gets loads in her hair, but a bucket (childs play bucket) of bathwater over her head 3 or 4 times during a bath seems to do the tricks. It probably helps that she loves water and bath time.

Cha Thu 18-Nov-04 15:51:07

I found the best cure for cradle cap was a nit shampoo and comb... You will not believe the sheer horror that convulses a mother when she sees a full grown louse crawling through her best baby's (not yet one inch long) hair. Somehow it is not so bad on older children.
BTW - parents of kids with soft curls that go frizzy on brushing - I have a friend who is a hairdresser who is researching a UK equivalent of Vitapro Fusion leave-in hair treatment. Will keep youse all posted on what he comes up with.

Zinger Mon 20-Dec-04 19:52:10

This story about the 'melodrama' that white mums stir up about mixed-race hair is quite provocative!

Scroll down to 'Oh no! More hair drama!' on this page for a follow-up

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 17:46:56

Hi i'm new here reading the posts on mixed race hair as a white afro hairdresser i find a product called MOTIONS really good 4 mixed race hair .You can take years finding the right products but when u do stick 2 it.

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 06-Jan-05 17:50:23

Hi 4kids. Welcome to mumsnet

Cha Thu 06-Jan-05 17:56:53

What is Motions like? My dd has quite Euro hair, big soft curls but a bit Mad Professorish in the morning and after brushing. Would it suit? Is it oil based? Desperate as just spraying on water at the moment, which brings the curls back but dd's hair is getting quite dry.

Gwenick Thu 06-Jan-05 18:18:41

DS2 (13 months) still has soft, but very curly hair. However, I don't think it'll stay like that - his brothers hair was the same until he hit around 18 months and then got coarser. Thankfully being a boy it's just a number 3 at the barbers and he's sorted - although last week he turned round, after looking in the mirror, and announced he needed his hair cutting - which was very true he was starting to grow an Afro.

I REALLY wanted a girl (wouldn't be without my boys though) but I was DREADING having to do their hair - I struggle to get a simple pony-tail in my (blonde) hair looking decent so I think I'd have had to go and live with my SIL for a while to 'learn' how to do the hair.

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 18:27:37

replying 2 cha . u can get every product 4 hair by motions the hair creme is oil based but very light & doesnt leave hair oily its wicked 4 all types of mixed race hair i,ve told alot of my mixed race friends about it & alot of pep with mixed race kids & they have all started using it

rouge Thu 06-Jan-05 18:31:51

Where can you get it, 4kids?

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 18:37:12

Mixed race hair of any texture should b treated like afro ,dont wash it 2 often {dries it out} try not 2 brush curls dry comb with a afro comb & less damage when combed wet & let dry naturally & u should always moisterise .

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 18:46:21

replying 2 rouge . U should b able 2 get it from any afro hair shop its good value u can get diff size bottles but big bottle is best value £4.99 for 976 ml. Give it a try cant promise youll like it but b suprised if u dont

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 18:51:20

Might sound a bit silly but what does dd ds1,2 ect stand 4

rouge Thu 06-Jan-05 18:54:19

Thanks - will look out for it.

dd = darling daughter, ds1 = darling son #1, etc. There's a link to 'acronym list' at the top of this page. HTH

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 19:01:16

thanks 4 that .

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 19:06:22

What kind of hairdressers do u use ? Do u find afro hdressers uncomfortable?

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 06-Jan-05 19:16:51

My hairdresser comes to the house and does all of my children with their different textured hair. Who know that each one would have different hair. Ah well, at least she is very good at what she does.

Gwenick Thu 06-Jan-05 19:18:30

Not sure what hairdresser DH takes DS too. We used to take him to the barbers shop down the road - but they closed so DH started taking him to a new one in town that does Afro hair.

I have to confess - I've known my DH for 6yrs now - and still can't tell if he's brushed his hair or not!!!

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 19:26:38

any of u have kids hair braided , extentions or any other styles or prefere natural.

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 06-Jan-05 19:30:41

when you say braided do you mean own hair or extensions/weave? My children all have "natural" styles

Zinger Thu 06-Jan-05 19:37:13

MarsLady please tell me who your hairdresser is! Where does she travel to? CAT me if you prefer

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 06-Jan-05 19:47:26

CATed you. btw can you tell me your RL name so that I can let her know that you will be calling. First name will be fine. If you've told me before then sorry, have no space in my head for info.

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 19:49:47

reply 2 munched2manymarslady I mean any sort of plaites cornrows using own or fake hair loose braids ,weaves ect.

Zinger Thu 06-Jan-05 19:52:32

Many thanks MarsLady - I'll email you with my name when I get your email - may not call her for a while but will keep a record of her number. Which parts of London does she cover?

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 19:57:07

I,m a afro hairdresser if anyones intrested i,m in the middlesex area i do alot of mixed race kids hair .Alot of the mums are white & feel comfy with me doing it as i,m white myself.

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 06-Jan-05 19:59:05

4kids just checking. Prefer natural plaits/cornrows myself

zinger fab honey. She's a north London girl and will probably travel to Islington (where you are I think?)

Zinger Thu 06-Jan-05 20:11:25

Spot on MarsLady. 4Kids - would love to invite you to Islington but fear I might not be able to afford you

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 06-Jan-05 20:21:10

don't worry zinger, you'll love Charli! She can do all hair and kids like her (so do adults)

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 20:39:14

I dont want 2 poach customers i am pleased 2 help anyone who has problems with kids hair who doesnt all ready have a hairdresser . I cant travel i have 2 do it frm home as i have 3yr old twins i,m also very reasonable friends say i should put up prices but i am happy with what i charge.

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 06-Jan-05 20:43:34

I know how hard it is with twins 4kids. My DTs(boy/girl)are 10months. Love 'em, have offered them to lockets who is keen to take them lol Whoever said that it would be hard at the beginning was lying, it is getting harder now.

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 21:01:37

TWINS never again i,ve deffo learnt my lesson people say it gets easier when ? If i had had them first no way would i have had more oh well its done now lol

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 06-Jan-05 21:03:21

my DTs were supposed to be baby no. 4. So now there are 5

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 21:07:18

would u do it again {twins}

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 06-Jan-05 21:09:46

In this or any other life?









No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like you, had they been my first there would be no more marslets. Love them with a passion though and wouldn't change it.

4kids Thu 06-Jan-05 21:12:48

Dito

sallystrawberry Sun 09-Jan-05 17:11:05

Bought some body shop leave in conitioner its not bad but not quite right for dd's hair I want to try the detangler but £8 .
4 kids Ive used Pink oil moisturiser on dd's hair that was better but will give that Motions stuff a try that sounds good.
I tend to keep dd's hair plated, I cant do cornrows but sil has offered but at the mo dd is to little to sit for long so I'll get sil on the case when shes older.
dd's hair is getting really long now I have trimmed it once I dont wash it to often and just keep it really well moisturised.
I like to plat her hair into lots of little plats then plat those into big plats it keeps it really manageable but takes about 2 hours with all the wriggling and bribery.

4kids Sun 09-Jan-05 19:52:35

Sallystawberry- I find pink m 2 heavy 2 use in some hair types motions is light,smells nice & is good 4 all mixed race hair even 100% Afro.Cornrow is easy if u can french platt u can cornrow instead of platting over u platt under if u still dont know how this is how u do it 4 straight platting section hair into a row from top pk up piece of hair section in2 3 & platt under then pick up piece frm 1 side & platt under then pk up piece frm otherside & platt under keep going till end just remember 2 platt under & pick up frm each side.{this is how i teach peep but i only pick up whole piece each time depends on person} hope it makes sence.Once you get the hang of it u can try patterns ect.

tjgx Wed 12-Jan-05 15:36:13

hi all.....plz could any1 give me some advice.im 4 months pregnant...im white father 2b..is mixed..half white half jamaican...im wondering what my babys hair would b like!!i no im a bit early to b thinking but im just curious...father 2b has had his shaved for years..so he cant remember what his hair used 2b like...ive seen photos of him yrs ago...n his hair was very afro...so any ideas any1..thanx ever so much tj x

4kids Wed 12-Jan-05 17:54:22

2 tjgx theres no set rule 4 hair.I know mixed race white/black people with straight hair,Afro,course curls & soft curls youll have 2 wait & see more than likely straight or soft curls as dad is mixed race himself.

tjgx Wed 12-Jan-05 23:18:08

thanx alot 4kids x.....if its born with hair like mine...he/she is in 4 a ruff time..)...mine straight n limp hahah take care x

4kids Thu 13-Jan-05 12:02:11

Anyone tried MOTIONS yet? if so what do u think?

temi Thu 13-Jan-05 18:00:42

I discovered a brilliant product for mixed-race hair at http://www.curls.biz - it's made especially for mixed-race hair - bought it in the UK from http://www.naturalfrizz.co.uk/shop

4kids Thu 13-Jan-05 21:22:36

I've got a website with some of my hair designs i'm going 2 b adding more photos soon feel free 2 look. \http://hairdesignuk.50megs.com\at it

4kids Thu 13-Jan-05 21:28:24

hairdesignuk.50megs.com Tell me what u think. thanks

4kids Fri 14-Jan-05 13:42:51

If anyone tries to access my site through a search engine it will not work i'm not in any search engine try access through internet explorer hairdesignuk.50megs.com

network Thu 27-Jan-05 15:05:24

Hi Everyone

My daughter has lovely hair but unfortunately because most of the kids in school have straight hair she is starting to cry about it. (Any advice)I use a product called Care Free Curl which gives her hair moisture and a childs brush. She is now turning a bit girlie so I'm getting pretty bits for her hair.

lucy5 Thu 27-Jan-05 15:13:52

my sil used to use a product called babylove on dn hair and that did the trick.

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 27-Jan-05 23:45:08

my dds went through the same thing. I just kept praising their curls and telling them that lots of girls would love to have hair like theirs. I put pretty plaits and bobbles in their hair. No way any straighteners are coming near them. If you want to let them have straight hair for a treat or to see how it looks you can always blow-dry it.

sallystrawberry Thu 27-Jan-05 23:58:31

Totally agree MunchedTooManyMarsLady I wouldnt use straighteners on dds hair either.
Im sticking to lots of pretty bobbles, plaits, I usually find dd gets loads of compliments about her hair as I do it in lots of different styles, but Im sure there will come a time when she will feel the same, I know I did about my curly hair.

Can you take her to accessorise network and let her choose some new boobles and clips?

network Fri 28-Jan-05 15:59:38

Thks Guys
Off to the shops for some girlie things for the hair.

Do your children have probs finding mixed race friends?

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Fri 28-Jan-05 16:20:31

Mine have a healthy mix of friends. I just leave them to get on with it. They seem to choose kids that I like (mostly) and I'm not too worried about the ethnic mix. There are a fair number of mixed race kids where we live.

network Fri 28-Jan-05 16:34:57

Hi MTMML

I assume then you're in the london area.

GoingMad Sun 30-Jan-05 18:04:33

Hi people, was reading your messages and was so sad to hear that your children are suffering having curly hair. I am a mixed race mum, my mum had no idea about my hair and had an afro for most of my childhood! I understand how hard it is to fit in.

sallystrawberry Sun 30-Jan-05 18:10:35

Thanks 4kids followed your advice and I had a go at cornrows today, dds hair looks lovely I'll keep practising but Im getting the hang of it.

4kids Sun 30-Jan-05 19:08:06

hairdesignuk.50megs.com any feedback?

network Mon 31-Jan-05 13:16:28

Hi Going mad
Really interested in your expience and wondered if you can tell me if i'm doing the right thing. I'm going all out now to find mixed race friends for DD. I'm joining a number of org (PIH and Intermix) with this in view. Any more advice from you or from anyone would be appreciated.

GoingMad Thu 10-Feb-05 17:14:12

Hi Network! Glad to hear your trying so hard It will make a huge difference to your DD to have other mixed raced kids as well as others! I hate looking at old pictures of myself because of the mess my hair was in. It took me about 5 years to repair the damage my mum did to my hair as a child (bless her!) Where are you from?

HappyMumof2 Thu 10-Feb-05 19:16:55

Message withdrawn

HappyMumof2 Fri 11-Feb-05 13:01:49

Message withdrawn

franch Fri 11-Feb-05 13:06:13

Sorry HM2, I don't have the answer as I don't use anything on DD's hair - have tried a few things which make her hair look nice initially, but seem to build up, meaning I have to wash her hair more often. I'm interested to know how often those of you who use products on your kids' hair wash their hair??? Am I just being lazy?! DD's hair is very curly but very fine - at the moment it seems to work OK just to brush & comb the tangles out in the morning (resulting in a big fuzz), then get the curls back with lots of water.

HappyMumof2 Fri 11-Feb-05 13:29:11

Message withdrawn

franch Fri 11-Feb-05 13:37:41

Your DD's hair sounds much like my DD's .....

franch Fri 11-Feb-05 13:38:29

So you don't find the Pink Oil builds up on your DS's hair too much??

HappyMumof2 Fri 11-Feb-05 13:39:56

Message withdrawn

HappyMumof2 Fri 11-Feb-05 13:41:46

Message withdrawn

franch Fri 11-Feb-05 13:43:02

I use the Body Shop's leave-in conditioner on DD, which helps a lot - Baby Love is seriously chemically!

franch Fri 11-Feb-05 13:43:28

Body Shop's blueberry detangling spray is good too

HappyMumof2 Fri 11-Feb-05 13:44:52

Message withdrawn

4kids Fri 11-Feb-05 21:15:44

hi just reading recent posts pink m can sometimes be a bit heavy & build up a bit Motions is really good light not to oily & not to cloggy . When it comes to washing hair people differ i myself wash kids hair once every 2 weeks sometimes longer depending if plaited. Washing to often dries the hair thats why black people use oil products they dont produce a lot of natural hair oil .

4kids Fri 11-Feb-05 21:22:08

for those with older kids do any of u put cholesterol treatments on hair i really recomend it once a month specially for kids with long hair & also hair caster oil now & again i swear by it .

HappyMumof2 Fri 11-Feb-05 21:43:28

Message withdrawn

4kids Sat 12-Feb-05 20:49:05

Happymumof2- the green & white bottle sounds like sofn'free Motions oil moisturizer is in a pink bottle with a purple pump dispenser & purple writing .the Motions oil sheen spray {looks like a can of hairspray}is better 4 short hair or when using staightners or tongs on hair is in a yellow can with purple lid & purple writing .the sheens called oil sheen & conditioning spray. try the sheen spray if ds hair is shaved short .

franch Sat 12-Mar-05 11:38:55

Mars - I've got your hairdresser coming on Friday (finally!) - I'll let you know how we get on

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Sat 12-Mar-05 12:21:02

Good to know. Charli is lovely.

sallystrawberry Thu 17-Mar-05 00:55:42

I bought sofn'free tea tree hairdress for dd hair today, its really good and can be used as a scalp moisturiser (stops the scalp drying out)twice a week, as well as a daily hairdress (thats what it says on the tub) its a big green tub.

franch Fri 18-Mar-05 12:56:35

That sounds good sally. Mars, Charli has just gone and DD's hair looks gorgeous! She was full of fabulous tips too, and brought me some Pink Oil Light which seems good - I'll just have to get the hang of how much to use & how often by trial & error. She twisted DD's hair into beautiful curls (I took some photos for DH ) and hopefully I'll be able to do this myself with a bit of practice.

BIG thank you for the recommendation.

franch Fri 18-Mar-05 12:57:20

PS I'll email you a photo if they come out all right

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Sun 20-Mar-05 20:06:25

Just home from my travels. I'm so glad that it worked out with Charli. Told you she was lovely. Brilliant isn't she? She knows the difference between white, black and mixed hair. My children always look brilliant when she's been. I won't use anyone else. Email me the photo if you can.

franch Mon 21-Mar-05 14:06:58

Yup, she's fab. The Pink Oil Light has transformed DD's hair, too, and made it infinitely easier to deal with - less trauma for her and me Should get the photos back tomorrow - if they haven't come out I can text you the one on my phone?

Thanks again

franch Wed 23-Mar-05 19:54:47

Have emailed you a photo Mars

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Wed 23-Mar-05 20:15:03

Thanks doll, will look out for it.

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Wed 23-Mar-05 20:17:37

WOW!!!!!!!!!!! She's so GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

franch Thu 24-Mar-05 11:50:37

Before she got her hair sorted she was the love-child of Halle Berry and Ken Dodd

Eaney Thu 24-Mar-05 12:48:06

I have used Elasto Curl by L'Oreal on my sons curly wurly hair. We really like it. You can only get it in Salons and is pricey but lasts for ages. About £12 but it has probably lasted me about 10 mths.

PinkArjuna Fri 01-Apr-05 18:37:47

Wow! Jesus I know hair is always a trauma with black people - the maintainence and hot combs and extentions people wanting to touch it etc... but I had no idea it caused such a problem with mixed race children. I'm black and going to have a mixed race little boy, sounds like a walk in the park because the curls are so loose! However I have years of managing my own hair behind me. I am lazy about my hair and simply can't be bothered with endless straightening and treatments because my hair is too weak to cope with the Chemicals.

I have always been seriously interested in the hair debate. I was adopted into a white family and in the 'white' world My hair was a total failier. This myth that somehow afro hair is 'messy' or 'unmanagable'. I wonder perhaps if it is anything to do with the dominant successful cultures being of european origin? Even the earliest relaxing products in America were invented to 'tame' the hair and relaxing though it can be extremely stylish is infact rooted from the desire that black beauty is somehow a lesser beauty. Just a ethnic political statement. Some of the most educated black eminant people I respect such as Maya Angelou and Bonnie Greer do not straighten their hair. I just wondered perhaps if this was an acceptance of the self. Though mainstream 'black' culture is full of straightened tresses and news readers don't seem to ever have non relaxed hair... just a debate.

I was from a family with no black connections at all but I still hauled arse to the local Afro shack (usually to be found in the yellow pages no matter where you live) went along, got phone numbers and bought products there. You can always find people to do hair on the cheap as hair is big business and many people just learn at home. I don't know how helpful they are at answering questions but I sometimes get products from afroshack For mixed race hair I imagine the lighter spritzers are better than oils as they are lighter and less greasy. I don't think you should comb too much as so much breakage can occur - unless you want to plait it up teesing the hair is alot better. Curls are so beautiful if they are just eased out and left natural.

Also for those of you who want to grow your girls hair but don't want to be dealing with it all the time you can get extentions put in and grow it that way. Then you'll only be combing and deep treating the hair once every 3-4 months depending on the growth. It needs the roots sprayed in a bit of braid sheen spray to keep the condition but thats about it. It depends where you live obviously the big cities have much better supplies for afro products but generally european products won't do. Though I find some of the salon european deep conditioners are good.

What I would recommend though is african pride hair and scalp spray it is really light and I use it myself as I hate greasy hair.

PinkArjuna Fri 01-Apr-05 18:40:25

Oh I'm a pink supporter too I have a salon sized pump bottle here...

RTMTMML Fri 01-Apr-05 18:53:17

I also have a salon sized bottle. I would say though that mixed hair does behave somewhat differently to "black" or "white" hair. Also, there is no guarantee that your son's hair will have loose curls. I have 5 children and each of them has different hair ranging from a very loose curl to a much tighter curl, but not quite as tight as mine. I think that if people find their child's hair difficult they should look for a good hairdresser (not always possible I know). We have a good un don't we Franch? I'm not a big fan of children with extensions, but each to his own

PinkArjuna Fri 01-Apr-05 20:52:38

Loose to me is anything not like the micro curls I have

LipstickMum Fri 01-Apr-05 20:57:48

Pink, we'll have to talk 'mixed race' hair tomorrow

sallystrawberry Mon 02-May-05 17:37:30

help and save me its hairwashing day here at the strawberry household, dd wont sit still for more than 5 mins, Im tryin to undo her hair and separate it all out before I wash it, so far Ive done about half of it, its full of sand from the sand pit and we are having a break for 5 mins
phew!!!!

MarsLady Mon 02-May-05 17:41:41

I'm so sorry, I feel your pain lol.

Actually it's no laughing matter. I'm trying to steel myself to do DD2's hair. Maybe it'll last another week. [wry grin emoticon]

sallystrawberry Mon 02-May-05 17:46:26

it could be worse marslady she actually dosent mind having her hair washed, its just the separating it all before washing takes a good couple of hours with all the faffing about.
Wish me luck Im going in for round two
Ding!! Ding!!

MarsLady Mon 02-May-05 17:47:51

<<MarsLady looks in awe and wonder as Sallystrawberry goes in for round 2. Can it be? Is it true? The girl deserves a medal!>>

sallystrawberry Mon 02-May-05 17:53:39

buggerations she gon and hid now

MarsLady Mon 02-May-05 17:54:19

PMSL

sallystrawberry Mon 02-May-05 19:27:29

YAY finished at last all washed and looking lovely

MarsLady Tue 03-May-05 17:54:55

How did the plaiting go?

sallystrawberry Tue 03-May-05 22:36:25

Fine thanks marslady I finally got her sitting in front of the puter and playing on ceebeebies, didnt do lots of braids this time though just 2 in the front and tied it back, still looked beautiful though, will get her sitting still sometime this week to do some more.

MarsLady Wed 04-May-05 13:01:20

sallystrawberry Sat 14-May-05 16:20:45

ok Ive just spent 3 hours on a hair braiding marathon Im shattered dd is traumatised but her hair looks gorgeous.
Im off to have a bath and then Im taking dd and ds to tescos to get a bit of shopping and some sweets as a treat for being so good.

MarsLady Sat 14-May-05 16:35:56

well done you. Have got another day of looking for crawlies left!

feebie Sun 15-May-05 18:00:04

oh, someone said crawlies, are you talking headlice .... someone told me they didn't like afro type hair and I REALLY want to believe them - true/false, please say true

happymerryberries Sun 15-May-05 18:35:04

Sorry! Head lice are equal opps! That said if hair is braided it will make it harder for the lice to get onto the hair in the first place.

Anti lice websites in the US state that the conditioner/wet combing can work on African american hair, so I guess the do get passed on

feebie Sun 15-May-05 18:50:02

[darn emoticon!!!] better get braiding - thanks for shattering my illusions HMB

sallystrawberry Sat 21-May-05 17:32:08

have the crawlies gone now Marslady or are you still combing?

MarsLady Sat 21-May-05 18:24:41

gone now. Though I hesitate to say that cos they've got thick hair and the little b*ggers can hide! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

OliviaGrace Sat 28-May-05 01:12:27

does anyone kno how to do cane row and does the tightness hurt your dd/ds?

MarsLady Sat 28-May-05 01:42:55

yes
only if you do it too tight.

It should be fine. I spent my entire childhood with canerowed hair.

mytwopenceworth Sat 28-May-05 12:57:33

i just give my lads a number 3 - problem solved!

MarsLady Sat 28-May-05 13:07:12

but what would you do with lasses? Don't imagine too many girlies would be impressed with your tactics!

mytwopenceworth Sat 28-May-05 18:40:41

you dont think it would start a great new trend then?

MarsLady Sat 28-May-05 18:43:03

I asked my girlies and I didn't realise that they knew language like that!

franch Sun 29-May-05 08:34:54

Looks good on you though Mars, aren't they inspired?

mytwopenceworth Sun 29-May-05 19:28:23

i do a really good job though, and its nice and cool in summer....

franch Mon 30-May-05 09:44:03

OliviaGrace, I just got this info through the People in Harmony email newsletter:

... book written by an African-American for parents on styling 'black' hair. It has photographs with instructions on how to do different styles such as corn rows and twists. A bit pricey at £8.99 (US import) but might come in handy for hair styling ideas for kids with curly hair:

Kinki Kreations by Jena Renee, Broadway Books, New York, ISBN 0-7679-1369-8
She also has a website www.kinkikreations.com

MarsLady Mon 30-May-05 09:46:16
MarsLady Mon 30-May-05 09:47:33

morning franch. Hope all well at your end. There's a wanted thread for a freeview box which I'm keeping an eye on for you incase someone suggests where to get a really cheap one.

franch Mon 30-May-05 10:00:23

You are a very useful person, Mars. Will put a 'watch' on the freeview thread

Thanks for doing the link, I was far too lazy

mumof4faeries Wed 30-May-07 11:29:17

Does anyone in Hatfield braid non-afro hair? email me at contactharper@aol.com

Sezarooni Wed 13-Jun-07 11:59:49

I use *Curly Q's* and *Blended Cutie* products on my daughter's hair and i find them brilliant. They are formulated especially for mixed race babies and children and it is all natural ingredients. They are American brands and very pricey to get shipped over here but i have found a couple of UK websites which stock these products - www.foundationz.co.uk and www.naturalfrizz.co.uk

linni Mon 27-Aug-07 12:15:25

WOW this looks promising I have spent a FORTUNE on hair products for my girl!! Nothing has worked so far..Also I do find the water in London is drying her hair out ,as when we go back to Norway her hair looks healtier and got a natural shine. Any advise on styling? Iv seen some kids with her hair type have curls that look more relaxed + together and dropping down. Not her wild stand out of the head look incl frizzblush
totaly my fault..All the crying every morning before rushing out the door..there must be another way...

RnB Mon 27-Aug-07 12:29:14

Message withdrawn

chocabloc Sat 01-Sep-07 15:46:47

ive tried all afroo hair products, irish and african ds! so go to boots get a loreal detangler, start with that first esp on days when u avnt got time to spend ages putting in products! and then i use aussie minute miracle ( for long hair) leave in conditioner, then i use umberto gianna curl mousee (in a pink can) it all works wondesr, then blow dry, or leave to dry naturally! make sure the hair is saturated and detangle with fingers then a comb! and use aussie minute miracle shampoo and conditoer in one and detangle when wet! ... and use frizz ease serum after washing hair, the one in the purple tube! afro hair products leave it greasy! ... hope that helps!

woodyrocks Mon 03-Sep-07 22:42:54

Great thread!

I have always treated DD hair (British/African) as Black hair and only ever take her to Afro h/dressers. I always imagine I would get funny looks if I took her into a European h/dressers hmm

Woody's curls looks great when wet but once her hair dries then it just looks like a bush, at worse a matted bush.

As much as I would like to leave her hair out all pretty and curly and girly it is not practical so I take her to get it corn-rowed forthnightly.

Cancerian Sat 08-Sep-07 20:43:41

A friend of mine who has very frizzy curly hair told me to try a product called MOP it is an organic leave in conditioner (not cheap and you can buy it off the internet). It is wonderful on my daughter's hair stops the frizz and it makes her hair like silk, and I only have to use a very tiny amount, so it lasts for ages. Highly recommended.

bruces Sat 08-Sep-07 22:49:38

Has anyone tried "mix chicks" hair products sorry can't remember the web site.I have 3 bi-cultural children, my son has curly hair that i wash once a fortnight,my two daughters also have their hair washed the same, but after washing i gently blow dry it then use Organics herbal tea tree gro and plait it either corn row or single plaits, i too use the power of video to keep them still.
Currently using original source tea tree shampoo and conditioner on all 3.

claireybee Thu 13-Sep-07 17:24:33

We just got dd's (15 months)hair done in single plaits in the hope it would tame the frizz, looked good for about 5 minutes then looked shite for a week until i had the patience to take them out. Do cornrows stay in better than single plaits on mixed hair? I guess it's hard to say really cos the hair can vary so much in texture etc but we are desperate for a solution! The main problem we have is that it gets so matted between washes, even if I comb it daily (which i dont always cos dd hates it so much), and the top and sides go huge, while the back flattens down to her head.
Saw a little girl with very similar hair to dd (except hers looked good) on saturday so ambushed her parents and asked them what they used. They recommended Babylove so i've got some and used it for the first time yesterday. Have been using L'oreal kids spray until now and hair was definitely softer and easier to comb with the Babylove. Think i used too much though cos it feels quite greasy today, especially on the shorter hair around the back. DH also complained that where i'd blowdried her hair a bit to get it dry before bed it made her look like a mushroom- I have to say I love the huge fro look though!

claireybee Thu 13-Sep-07 17:37:44

I have a few pics up if anyone wants to take a look and offer words of wisdom...

Hurlyburly Thu 13-Sep-07 17:40:35

John Frieda

He is a god. It is expensive but it works.

The shampoo is only so-so. But please try his conditioner. It is truly wondrous and amazing stuff. Also the straightening cream separates and detangles better than anything else I have found.

Hurlyburly Thu 13-Sep-07 17:49:48

www.johnfrieda.com/products/products.asp?pid=56§ion=products&subSection=frizzEase&lineID=4

I haven't mastered the art of neat and tidy links. It's the Frizz Ease product range which is available everywhere, including Boots.

The relaxing creme is very good. Either of the conditioners (straight ahead or curl around) work too.

Mille Fri 14-Sep-07 11:09:32

How sad to read you all see your kids hair as "problem" hair? Says who? I leave my little mixed race daughters hair natural and I think it is gorgeous.

This Empire days are gone folks - leave your beautiful kids hair natural

Hurlyburly Fri 14-Sep-07 11:17:30

Hey! It's not about oppressing hair in a quasi-imperial way, you know.

It's just that mixed race hair left natural just bushes out in a semi-afro. So if you grow it long, it bushes out big and needs a bit of taming.

The same is done with afro hair too. In my father's country, where I was born, it is common to relax, restrain by plaiting, even use butter on the hair.

grin

Easywriter Fri 14-Sep-07 11:28:37

Lawd! Mille what you've said is SOOO patronising.

My daughters' hair is a'challenge' rather than a problem.
I love their hair but it's like neither mine nor DP's so it takes a bit of work to find products that are ok in their hair.

As for leaving their hair 'natural', are you demented?

DD's wouldn't be happy as they'd look like Sideshow Bob and we wouldn't be happy as we'd know that one day we'd have to comb it all out. I have no idea what you childrens hair looks like, lovely I'm sure but this is not a one solution fits all, kind of a challenge!

By the was I use Elasta products on my daughters hair which is caucasian in texture but as curly (not frizzy) as you like. Particularly a spray called H2O which leaves their curls soft and in lovely ringlets all day.

I use (I'm mixed too but my hair is more 'black') a creme leave in conditioner by Elasta, it's great.

Elasta's products don't tend to smell too strongly and are about the price you'd expect to pay for hair care products that aren't salon ones.

Hurlyburly Fri 14-Sep-07 11:30:04

Easy, can you post a link? Where do you get it from?

kama Fri 14-Sep-07 11:37:01

Message withdrawn

kama Fri 14-Sep-07 11:39:42

Message withdrawn

Mille Fri 14-Sep-07 12:07:26

Jeg er norsk Bor nå i Oslo, har bodd 12 år i London.

Mille Fri 14-Sep-07 12:11:41

I have to be honest and say I do think it is sad that people put their kids hair full of chemicals (often strong and dangerous) just to "tame" the hair.

Yes of course all mixed hair is different but who says wild afro hair is not beautiful? I think it is an identity issue and it is sad that so many black poeople keep straigtening their hair to look European (the products are banned in norway luckily, or at least some of them)

Easywriter Fri 14-Sep-07 12:50:08

Sorry about the disappearance, my MW came to see me.
I usually just pop to a market or any black hair care shop and they always seem to have Elasta products. I can't right now but I'll do a proper trawl of websites and post anything that's vaguely useful to this thread.

Hurlyburly Fri 14-Sep-07 13:32:15

Just in case anyone has been upset (as Easywriter was) by Mille's comments, we do think she/he is a troll:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/67/388281?rnd=1189773040006

claireybee Fri 14-Sep-07 14:03:31

I also love my dd's hair fairly natural, and have no intention of pumping it full of chemicals in order to tame it BUT nor do i think it is fair to dd to leave her hair completely natural so that it gets all matted and then takes 10 times as long to comb out. I take it you wash your hair mille? and condition it? Also that you brush it. Well thats all i'm doing to my dd's hair, its just that she requires different products to me and so I'm asking advice from other mums to find out which products they would recommend.

Thanks for the advice Kama, I have tried leaving dd's hair 2 weeks without washing, but it does seem to be even drier and more difficult to comb this way, I've found once a week much better for us(also as she is very sweaty and so it stinks if i leave it longer lol). The blow drying only occurs VERY infrequently, mostly when she is overtired and needs to get to bed asap, also i never blow dry it completely, just a little bit mid natural dry to help speed things up.
I was using olive oil on dd's hair but got told off by an African hairdresser who told me this would be drying her hair out even more. I don't quite see how but thought she would know better than me so stoppped. I'd be more than happy to go back to using it rather than creams etc if that isnt the case. Am also a huge fan of coconut oil, especially for the dry ends (is also great for excema if anyone suffers...).

The pics should be in my profile, let me know if you cant access them

Mille Mon 17-Sep-07 09:29:31

Clairebee,

Your daughter looks beautiful and her hair looks very similar to my daughter

To answer your question - yes of course I wash and condition my daughters hair and her hair does require different products from me. ( I use Redken shampoo and conditioners, twin packs from lookfantastic.com - usually good savings )

However, I think many people put lots of chemicals (often strong ones) in their kids hair every day to "tame it" - that is what I get very upset about. I do not want my daughter to grow up and think her hair is ugly and that she has to "maintain" and tame it. She needs to wash it and condition it like everyone else but I want her to be happy with it being big and curly if you see what I mean!

Easywriter Mon 17-Sep-07 15:30:49

Your daughter is lovely Clairbee.

As it turns out it seems I got the wrong end of what Mille was saying.

I'm not a 'relax your childs hair' type. I just couldn't leave my childs hair without anything (hair products not relaxer).

Friends again?

Mille Mon 17-Sep-07 18:48:38

No worries (it if is me you are reffering to? )

I should have explained better what i actually meant!

Mum2boys3 Sat 22-Sep-07 17:01:47

Hello i have two mixed race children ds2 is 20 months with 4 inch curly soft hair all over and is geting a little afo the curls are big tho not tight ringlets. It is very fuzzy and i am wanting to make in look neater and tidier but i find what im using makes it greasy babylove leave in creme. any tips as it looks messy. I want to grow it so i can kanerow
Also on another note my dd3 is 11w and had very curly hair when wet but when it drys is straight when will her hair go curly. I was suprised how diffrent my two look as ds2 is olive skin and brown hair but dd3 is darker with black hair

chickenmama Sun 23-Sep-07 21:43:18

Mum2boys3 - sorry I can't be of any help with the hair products but just wanted to reply to your comment on your ds3's hair... my dd is mixed race and her hair is still very straight. She's 16 months now and it's only just starting to curl up at the ends, tho it's pretty curly when it's wet. Some people are suprised my dd's father is black because her hair isn't what they expect. There's no saying just because your ds2 has curly hair that your baby son will too.

chickenmama Sun 23-Sep-07 21:48:07

Mum2boys3 - sorry I can't be of any help with the hair products but just wanted to reply to your comment on your dd3's hair... my dd is mixed race and her hair is still very straight. She's 16 months now and it's only just starting to curl up at the ends, tho it's pretty curly when it's wet. Some people are suprised my dd's father is black because her hair isn't what they expect. There's no saying just because your ds2 has curly hair that your baby girl will too.

* edited as I called your baby daughter a boy! sorry! *

claireybee Mon 24-Sep-07 17:13:47

With the babylove i find it is greasy if i apply it all over but not if i apply it only to the length (with extra on the ends) and not at all to the root. When dd was younger and her hair was in looser curls i found the johnsons kids detangling spray was enough but it no longer does the trick.

My dd has amazingly curly mad very coarse hair, she is not mixed race but her hair is very similar. It goes into dreads all the time I spend half my life unpicking them.

The only think I have found that works and is very light is to only use conditioner, I use the aussie one usually or any for curly frizzy hair. Then I spray Modern Organic Products pear detangler here in and this leaves it soft and unfrizzy, detangles it (still plenty of picking). This means I only ahve to wash it once or twice a week (no shampoo) for it to look nice, before it just went into tangles in bed and she looked mad every morning.

Also I only wash first thing in teh morning otherwise if it is sligtly damp wehn going to bed it is a disaster!

franch Mon 24-Sep-07 20:31:27

Didnt know this thread was still going. I was formerly femi when I posted below nearly 3 years ago, searching for answers - which I reckon I have now found.

The answer is the wonderful Elasta QP - especially their Recovery Oil Moisturizer - I get mine from www.beauty-rituals.co.uk/, altho I see they've none in stock at the moment - probably because I just bought 10 bottles grin I see others on this thread have made the same discovery.

My daily routine on my now 3.5yo's glorious mane (and her 2yo sister's) is: spray liberally with a water and olive oil mix; apply a huge blob of Elasta Recovery; comb through with wide-tooth comb. With the little one I then use a sharp tailcomb to do a parting then a bristle brush to smooth into bunches. DD1 prefers hers loose, which is harder work as it tangles more, but I'm not going to interfere with the enormous pride she has in what she calls her 'long' hair.

claireybee Tue 25-Sep-07 12:22:49

So would you all agree that olive oil moisturises the hair? Dunno why that blimmin hairdresser told me I was drying out dd's hair by using it?!?

franch Tue 25-Sep-07 17:00:50

What utter tosh clairey - olive oil is fab stuff - still in loads of moisturising products - been used for centuries hasn't it - you were right grin

Got the tip from this book, which I recommend

chickenmama Tue 25-Sep-07 20:54:14

Franch - I have that book too and I also recommend it (tho sadly won't be able to try any of the styles on my dd's hair anytime soon as it's much too straight and silky!)

Bluestocking Tue 25-Sep-07 20:59:18

I feel awful now, my DS's best friend is mixed race, and her hair is so soft and gorgeous that I do sometimes give it a little stroke. But I love to stroke my own boy's ultra-straight and silky hair too! Seriously, should I stop touching his little friend's hair?

franch Tue 25-Sep-07 21:07:21

Don't know what others think but I wouldn't not touch it solely on the grounds that she's mixed race IYSWIM - I too am a hair-toucher, out of habit and pure affection for my own and others' kids. But go easy, don't make a big deal of it (though enthusing endlessly about the beauty of it is, in my book, definitely allowed grin), and just be aware that there is a chance that she may - unlike your son, perhaps - be a little weary of that gesture and be unable to distinguish it from the well-intentioned curious mauling that she most likely receives on a daily basis ...

And don't feel bad

Bluestocking Tue 25-Sep-07 21:11:48

Thanks Franch! Will definitely remember to tell her how nice her hair looks (it does, usually, thanks to her mum and dad's hard work!) and go easier on the mauling. I do tend to stroke kids' heads (the kids I'm close to, obviously, not random strangers) so it would feel very odd to avoid this particular little bonce.

claireybee Wed 26-Sep-07 14:12:10

Thanks franch, tbh now i think about it she was probably telling me that to try and get me to buy her dark and lovely products!

Bluestocking Thu 27-Sep-07 20:50:15

Franch, I think we need to see some pics of your DDs in all their coiffed and gorgeous glory.

mammya Thu 27-Sep-07 23:38:59

Oh how nice to see this thread back up again after all this time!

Like many of you I have been trying lots of different products, and not happy about the products I can find in afro hair shops, as they tend to be full of chemicals.

One product that I found which contains mostly natural ingredients is Africa's Pride oil (or something like that), although it smells quite strong but not in an unpleasant way.

However I swear by Anita Grant's products which are all natural, organic and hand-made, and they smell gorgeous. Fantastic customer service as well! I particularly love this which I apply to my dd's dry or damp hair after shampooing with this. This leaves my dd's hair beautifully moisturised and not greasy at all. The pomade is also lovely, to define curls and and finish a style.

And for dry skins the whipped butters are fantastic.

She can make products to your specifications as well, for me she is working on a conditioner to help with wet-combing for nit-busting(don't let anybody tell you that mixed race people don't get headlice, it is not true at all! And very difficult to get rid of with all those curls...)

Can you tell I'm a fan? grin I swear I'm not getting paid to advertise her! I just love her products.

Another product I really like is a conditioner by GReen People, although it is pricy. But it is fantastic to detangle hair, my dd no longer screams like a banshee when I run a detangling comb through her locks after a shampoo. I think it's this one but not sure as they have changed their packaging.

I'm also keen to try some of the products you guys recommend, particularly that MOP conditioner.

And what about combs and brushes? What do you use?

Phew that's a long post!

drosophila Thu 27-Sep-07 23:49:22

www.bizrate.co.uk/haircareproducts/oid378989809.html This is good but any leave in cnditioner or de tangler will do the trick.

claireybee Fri 28-Sep-07 12:58:29

Those products look lovely mammya! Might have to invest once i've finished off the babylove. Do they smell as gorgeous as they sound?

mammya Sat 29-Sep-07 00:14:37

Claireybee, they smell almost good enough to eat! grin

MarsLady Sat 29-Sep-07 01:34:18

<<Waves at Franch>>

Quick hijack! Franch... I'm not on call or anything for the next couple of weeks. Shall we get together? I'd love to see the new (well not so new) house! But mostly I'd love to see you and the girls again. Might even force myself to bring the DTs if the house can cope!

franch Mon 01-Oct-07 19:45:20

Hello Mars! Yes please - this week busy but maybe next?? Text me with some dates???

Katymac Mon 01-Oct-07 19:59:56

Gosh I started this all those years ago

DD's hair is lovely atm, I use that Aussie shampoo, conditioner & spray - it is really nice - her hair feels lovely and it isn't expensive

oseite Tue 02-Oct-07 12:30:13

Thank You Katymac for doing so!

I'm mother of 3 DD's (learned it..!wink) from Finland and it's difficult to find both products and experience from other mums here. I just found this and studied the looong loong thread through, learned a lot and found very good new netshops.

So far I've been fan of www.mariposa-import.com, especially Curly-Q's, Qhemet, Oyin and Fuzzy Duck -products. Unfortunately, many of my favourites has been sold out for long time. But now I can try new one's I found through here!

gerts Sat 27-Oct-07 19:21:46

girls,
for about 18mths now i have just been using conditioner to wash dd's hair with.

i was told that any type of shampoo would dry it out and cause it to get matted, so i started to wash it with conditioner only.

her hair is in excellent condition and rarely gets matted anymore.
it does tangle of course when she has been sleeping on it, but no way near as bad.

i would use a mild shampoo only if her hair had gotten very dirty from playing etc.

what i do is wet it in the bath, cover with conditioner and wash it.
then put in more conditioner and brush it while it' in.

i use a brush i got in boots called "airheadz" and it's specfically for curly hair.
it's excellent.

then i rinse her hair and comb it again when it's been patted dry with a towel.

i usually plait it up then, or if im leaving it down i rub some conditioner through it in the same way you'd use hairgel.

when i want to tidy it between washes i spritz it with a soloution i have made.
it consists of cooled boiled water, a few drops of either tea tree oil or lavendar oil, and a few drops of her conditioner.

doing her hair this way really works for me and it looks great.

for the kids skin i have found a lotion called "lipikar" by "la roche posey".
it's the best cream i have found, and believe me when i say i have been through hundreds of them!!

tiredout Thu 01-Nov-07 19:56:08

You don't need to get to an Afro hair shop if you've got the internet!

Can I recommend Organic Root Stimulator, Olive Oil Nourishing Sheen Spray - you can get it from Amazon! See http://tinyurl.com/yrap28
DD loves it and it comes in a really big can. The cream's quite good too.

unsure1 Wed 07-Nov-07 19:23:03

Hi everyone

This might sound like a strange silly question to ask but here goes. My baby is 4 months old and has fair straight hair, but his dad is black carribean, is this normal? i would have thought his hair would at least be curly, or does it go curly when they get older. In other words im trying to say "do all mixed raced babies have curly hair"?

franch Wed 07-Nov-07 20:20:23

My answers would be: yes it can go from straight to very curly later on (my DDs' did); but no they don't all have curly hair in the end

Love2dance Wed 07-Nov-07 20:30:30

Anyone have texturised hair? Hello out there. I'm mixed race and have texturised hair in a short bob. It's more gentle than relaxing but I can manage it more easily than when it's natural (and no, I'm not a self-deluding victim of the Empire, I just can't fight the frizz). Problem is, I find it hard to find good products as many are for curly perms and very greasy. Anyone else have a similar experience or products to recommend? Do you ever blow dry texturised hair?

unsure1 Thu 08-Nov-07 21:04:44

Phew! Thanks franch, that was really bugging me cheers for clearing the issue up

lea86 Sun 11-Nov-07 20:05:46

my lil girl is almost ten month old and her hair tangles really bad really easy and is always looking really dry. i asked what i could use on her hair in a shop in nottingham and a woman told me not to use anything n her hair till she was 1, but to stop it being as out of control told me to use soft n precious nursery jelly. thats not working for her hair anymore any advice on what i can try, i have tried baby oil and olive oil leave in conditioners but nothing seems to be working?????????? HELP!! plz!

franch Sun 11-Nov-07 20:21:26

See my post of 24 Sept above lea - get some Elasta QP - I really can't see what harm it can do to a 10mo

lea86 Mon 12-Nov-07 13:35:09

thanks franch will give it a go! :0 and unsure 1 my other lil girl is 21 month old and her hair just like mine thick n straight their dad even made me have dna cos he thought she wasnt his!

lea86 Fri 16-Nov-07 17:51:58

got elasta qp on tuesday her hair loads easier to comb now! thanks!

franch Sun 18-Nov-07 16:33:33

hooray! spread the word!!

They should be giving me commission ...

Hello, I am Kay a 23 years old hairdresser...i just specialise in european and mixed textured hair, i do cornrows, extensions, braids and twists, please check out my profile page for more details.

unsure1 Mon 26-Nov-07 11:05:35

HELP!

Hi i wonder if anyone can help me out here again. Im not so sure if my baby is mixed race. you see there is a possibility of two different fathers, one is black carabean and the other is white british. My child is 5 months old and has quite light skin, kind of olive skinned like me, in fact he looks lighter then me. He also has straight blonde hair and grey/light brown eyes. (i have brown eyes and the white guy has blue). the soles of his feet and the palms of his hands are pink but his belly button looks brown. im really confused as ive never really seen a mixed race baby in the flesh before. this might be a no brainer, but what do you guys think?? blush

Are you serious?! Seems a bit obvious to me...If you are white (or expecially if ur olive skinned) and had a mixed race baby it would be the norm for your baby to be darker than you and unless (not to complicate matters) the baby was albino, it would not be lighter than you or have blonde straight hair. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but generally even if your baby was light they would probably still have "black features" hair, nose, lips etc. So my money's on the white guy. Have you got a picture? It would be easier.

franch Mon 26-Nov-07 19:32:28

This is maybe something to start a new thread on, unsure - goes a bit beyond the 'hair' subject ... I'd say at 4 months it's pretty hard to tell - absolutely possible for a mixed race baby to have white skin, light eyes, straight blonde hair etc but as Ghetto says it would be very likely to have at least an afrocaribbean type nose, lips etc. There's a chance your black partner is more mixed than you (or even he) realise, but the odds do seem to be in your white partner's favour

sallystrawberry Mon 26-Nov-07 19:37:25

A friend of mine has had 2 mixed race babies (shes black, different dads but both white), both children are blonde, blue eyed with pale skin.
Anythings possible.

youpeskykids Mon 26-Nov-07 19:54:14

Great thread by the way! But Femi - just wanted to let you know that I used to work with a lovely lovely Nigerian lady who used to ask me quite frequently if she could touch my hair (me = white, naturally blonde straight hair).

So it does happen you know!

unsure1 Wed 28-Nov-07 10:25:22

Hi guys, thanks for your reply. And yes Ghetto i am serious ): its been so confusing for me. When my Jay was born he was very pale skinned but had a full head of dark curly hair, so naturally i thought ok, he has to be the black guys as the other guy has neither black or curly hair. i just assumed his skin would go darker eventually. By the way i am olive skinned.

anyhow, about 3 months later my little boys lovely dark curls fell out due to cradle cap, and you can imagin my surprise when he new hair started growing through blonde and straight! alarm bells started ringing big time!

with regards to the features i have never thought i could see any of the black guys features in him apart from his nose, but then my white partner has a broad nose! as Jay got older his nose has become more promenent and less flat. He has my lips and mouth which are full, but not very big like the black partner i had.

My gut feeling is that he is the white guys baby, he has the same ears, eye shape, head shape, face shape and build but if he is then i got to change his name as his surname is registered under the black guys name! its such a mess! Its been driving me crazy ever since his hair fell out! and ive only just found the courage to tell the white guy he could be a daddy. he didnt even know i was pregnant. i was so sure my baby would come out dark skinned with dark loose curly hair. the black guy is quite dark skinned with black tight afro hair. his lips are quite big too.

Ive also noticed that the soles of my babys feet and the palms of his hads are pinkey white, would that make a difference?

Ghetto i do have pics but not sure how to get them online.

I would really appreciate your thoughts peeps

I did not mean to sound rude with my question, but it was just a bit of a strange post! Now you have provided more detailed information I stand by my original opinion that your son is indeed the white guys baby, especially if he has all the same features you have mentioned!Also you should always follow your gut feeling, in my opinion. The only way to be 100% sure is with a DNA test, if both men were willing of course! I understand it must be difficult for you, but at the end of the day you are lucky, you have been blessed with a son and regardless of who his father is, you are still his mother, so just try not to let it bother you. Are you still with the black guy? Is he involved in your sons life? Does he think he's his son?

If you want to post pictures you can do so on your profile, just browse your computer for the photo and then upload and make sure your settings aren't on private so we can see!

unsure1 Wed 28-Nov-07 12:02:13

Hey Ghetto i did not take offence to your msg, like you say it was a bit strange.

I dont know if either men are willing, but im taking to the csa now so i guess he will have to do the test. i really dont care anymore, like you say he is my son, he is the best thing in my life and thats the main thing that matters to me.

i found out i was pregnant three weeks after i split from the black guy. im with neither blokes.

the black guy has been in and out of my sons life, he is not consistent with his visits and sometimes dont see him for weeks and weeks on end. he aint paid me any maintenance apart from £50 at the begining, but has gone halves with me to get his buggy and car seat and brought a few bits here and there like clothes and toiletries, but i could count how much on one hand.

I dont know if he thinks he is his son or not, but got a feeling that he will not make things easy for me.

i dont know how to put the pic on the comp im not good at these things, i got them on my mobile tho if thats any good?

Rustie Fri 30-Nov-07 15:02:11

My advice is that you don't even have to buy afro haircare products.

I'm black and my hair is about as afro as you can get, so I do use afro products. My son, who is 4, is mixed race and I've found that things like Herbal Essence, especially the conditioner, is really good.

This might sound obvious but holding one section of hair at a time (about an inch from the end), and combing out the tangles at the end doesn't pull the hair at the root, thus saving a lot of tears.

My son is just lucky that he wasn't born in the 1970s and doesn't have his grandma combing his hair every day. That's a reason to cry.

gingerspice Mon 03-Dec-07 09:06:22

don't any of you have black relatives that will teach you how to do the hair? or the dad? surely he has a sister or mum who can help? also take the child to a black hairdresser to have the hair done. don't cut it off. i am white but i have realy thick curly hair and my mum was scared of it and cut it off. i go to an afro hairdresser now I get a wash and steam condition, very cheap and it looks fab. i'm expecting a mixed ( black) child and i can't wait to play with her/his hair. it's so versitile, for thick afro type try twists or dreads, so cute come on use your imagination. if you wanted a mixed child don't try to make it white cos it aint

franch Fri 07-Dec-07 14:33:02

Goodness ginger, where on earth did that last sentence come from????

And even the 'don't cut it off' bit - I haven't read every post here but I dont think many (any?) people have suggested that - ??

LoveAngelGabriel Mon 10-Dec-07 12:56:58

Nobody is suggesting that anyone cuts off their children's beautiful hair! I think most people on this thread - black and white - are used to caring for their own particular hair type and are just here to share tips on how to care for the many and varied types of 'mixed race hair'. I know that in my own family, DH has only ever cared for his own afro hair and I have only ever cared for my very straight European hair, so both of us (and our respective families) had to get used to caring for our son's amazing mane of ringlets (which, by the way, is so long people think he is a girl! Cut it off? Never!).

p.s. We've learned through trial and error that a combination of afro/European hair products (DarkNLovely shampoo, a mild conditioner like Johnsons , Aveda BeCurly styling products) work well. Best to experiment.

My only dilemma now is whether or not to get my son's hair plaited? I'm not sure if it is too 'European' in texture and may break if it is braided too tightly? Any advice?

larina Mon 10-Dec-07 18:08:36

I am yet to become a mother, but I am asian and my husband is black west indian. I have very long straight hair and he has very coarse afro hair. We are expecting a baby girl In January 2008.

I sometimes find myself looking at mixed race kids hair and wonder how I am going to cope. Its true that your mother skills is often criticized if you are not fully capable of managing your child hair etc.

Anyone out there can relate to this please let me know how you dealt with your situation.
smile

MarsyChristmas Mon 10-Dec-07 22:36:40

<<waves at Franch>>

Good to see this thread is still going! grin

franch Tue 11-Dec-07 19:43:09

<<waves back at Mars, who she misses lots sad>>

Yep I identify larina. And not only is your perceived adequacy as a mum dependent on your kids looking well-groomed and cared for - your kids' positive self-image (as mixed-race people) is partly dependent on their gorgeous locks being well looked after and living up to their glorious potential ... So no pressure then wink

But you'll do fine - just look at the wealth of tips and support we have here smile

By the way, on the subject of self-esteem - check out the following books which my girls enjoy:
Happy to be Nappy by Bell Hooks and Chris Raschka
I Love My Hair! By Natasha Anastasia Tarpley
My Hair is Beautiful Because It’s Mine by Paula DeJoie.

MarsyChristmas Tue 11-Dec-07 23:03:20

So if I told you I was keeping next Thursday free to visit you before salsa (births permitting).... grin

splishsplosh Tue 11-Dec-07 23:21:13

I'm so glad to come across this - I posted a query a while back about good products for hair, and only got 2 answers, now I'm raring to try some of the suggestions on here.
Dd hates having her hair washed, hates having it combed... it's a nightmare. She won't let her grandma try either. 1 of my friends managed to plait it once when babysitting, but even she didn't manage to get dd to let her next time - and she has 5 kids so very experienced...

Missty Thu 10-Jan-08 18:34:58

I am mixed race with lovely curly afroish hair. I used to have chemically relaxed for years, but to me that was harder maintenence because you cannot allow it to dry naturally. it has to be blow dried and tonged, or set on rollers to make it look nice. But now my relaxed hair has grown out and back to its former glory and this is how i keep it now. i shampoo it with pantene age renewal and also its conditioner or the full and thick versions, not the smoothe and sleek one. that one makes my hair frizz! I comb through the conditioner then rinse, I then toweldry, and rub a little Lusters Pink hair lotion into it then comb though some Infusium23 moisturizing formular. The last two products i mentioned come from any good afro hair and beauty shops. dont bother getting it off the net, they are cheaper from store. i know some of you may live a bit far from the nearest town, but is really worth it. they also usually sell main stream products cheaper than places like Boots especially cocoa butter! I can then either roller set my hair or let it dry naturally into ringletish curls. If your child has more of an afro texture of hair, Plain and simple you have to treat it as afro hair. Shampoo, conditioner, leave in moisturizer, blow dry using afro atatchment, oil scalp and braid or cornrow. either learn how to do it or get a nice friend to do it and it willsave you time in the mornings as well cornrowed hair lasts at least a week.

MimisMama Fri 11-Jan-08 12:01:12

Hello everyone! Something I've found really good for my DD's tight afro curls (my SIL says the curls are tighter than hers!) is Shea butter (look on eBay for the 100% pure stuff) - this also works brilliantly on ashy knees!

I love the fact that it's totally natural and is brilliant for hair and skin.

franch Sat 12-Jan-08 22:29:39

That's a good tip MimisMama - possibly a bit heavy for my DDs' hair but would be great on their skin I'm sure. I use the Body Shop shea body butter myself but would def use the 100% stuff on them. Can I ask which seller you use on ebay? There seem to be different types of pure shea butter - lumps versus whipped, and refined versus unrefined. I thought this seller looked ok - the whipped stuff looks a bit more user-friendly than the lumps!

franch Sat 12-Jan-08 22:30:49

OMG Mars I just spotted your message of a MONTH ago shock shock

sallystrawberry Sat 12-Jan-08 22:47:54

I taught myself to cornrow dd's hair, lots of practice later and Im actually quite good now <<ss blows her own trumpet wink>>
my sil (who is the cornrow expert) is very impressed grin

I learnt by googling theres websites out there with instructions, I always do dd's hair when wet.

Have I posted on this thread already about olive oil?

I'm always on the lookout for things to moisturise and keep dd's hair in good condition (and mine, Ive got curly hair to), Im trying to keep the chemicals to a minimum so Ive been using olive oil, after faffing around with it for a while I found the best way it works for dd's hair is to

1. before washing massage olive oil into dry hair and scalp, I use about 4 tablespoons warmed for 10 secs in the microwave.

2.comb out hair with afro comb or wide tooth comb, ready for washing

3. wash twice with normal shampoo (I use the aussie ones for dry hair)

4. apply conditioner to hair and cover with a shower cap for 10 mins (dd has time to play in the bath grin)

5. rinse hair but don't completely remove all traces of conditioner, this means I don't have to use leave in conditioner as well

6. I use frizz ease serum on dd's hair before I braid it, or boots do a curl cream which is good for twists, or just add a bit more olive oil to the ends, I keep a spray bottle of 1/2 water 1/2 leave in conditioner (the aussie one) to spray her hair if it starts to dry out before I finish braiding it (thanks Mars for that tip wink).

NKffffffff8cc7b3a8X117716feb0b Sun 13-Jan-08 04:45:06

Hello all, newbie here. How is everyone? I was wondering if any have you have seen a mixed -race child (caucasian/african american) have "caucasian" (un-wooly)hair?

Sam

SofiaAmes Sun 13-Jan-08 05:32:35

One of my good friends (white gay male) has an adopted mixed race daughter with the most beautiful hair. I was trying to help sort out my neighbor's daughter's mixed race hair (because it looked so awful all the time) so asked my friend how he kept his daughter's hair so beautiful. His recommendation was to massage grapeseed oil (or whatever oil you can find at hair supply place in black neighborhood...I got a 7 oil mixture) into the hair daily. Only wash with shampoo once a week (this is important!!!), but put conditioner on the hair daily (or however often child bathes) in addition to the oil. I did this for 4 days on my neighbor's daughter's hair and it looked great afterwards (and was combable and braidable). You do have to allocate enough time to massage and comb the oil in though. It can take 15 or 20 minutes if the hair is long. However, this can be a lovely bonding time for you and your dd. (My dd has straight white hair, but I spend 15 minutes a day combing and braiding it and we love that time together...she picks hair toggles while I work).
My friend also recommends carol's daughter, but they don't ship to the uk.

SofiaAmes Sun 13-Jan-08 05:33:53

Oh yes, forgot to say...dd's kindergarten teacher is a beautiful mixed race woman with beautiful mixed race hair that she wears in a different style every day. Dd now wants me to make her hair curly like her teacher's. HELP!

MimisMama Sun 13-Jan-08 10:32:17

Hi Franch - this is who I used on eBay: http://stores.ebay.co.uk/mama-kijura

The stuff is really nice - like solid coconut oil when you have to warm it in your hands to get it oily!

Also, my daughter had little dry patches on the back of her knees and we put some of this on and by the morning it was almost gone - no joke (and I'm not on a commission!).

MimisMama Sun 13-Jan-08 10:37:46

SofiaAmes and SallyStrawberry - from what you've both said, do you think olive oil would work just as well as grapeseed oil?

My daughter's hair looks beautiful when it's just washed and conditioned, etc but by the end of the day sort of scrunches up with less defined curls so I think I need something more moisturising on it. Because of this, most of the time I put her hair up (I've got loads of styles!) but I'd love her to wear it down too.

Sorry - I can't remember who mentioned Elasta products, but do you think these would be good to keep the lovely curls in my DD's hair all day?

Thanks for reading such a long post! blush

franch Sun 13-Jan-08 12:30:32

Quite a few of us have recommended Elasta Mimi, including me - yes, give it a try - see my post of 24 Sept above

Thanks for the shea tip

MarsLady Sun 13-Jan-08 12:36:32

<<waves at Franch.... wonders if she still looks the same>>

So... how's Thursday looking for you? Might be in the area!

MarsLady Sun 13-Jan-08 12:42:46
chickenmama Sun 13-Jan-08 13:48:13

Reply to Sam's msg earlier today...

Yes, my dd is mixed race (white british/black jamaican) and her hair is not at all afro. It's pretty straight and is soft and fine like mine with just a slight curl at the ends. It's also a gorgeous chestnut brown with red and blond tints I guess the ginger gene is pretty strong! wink

I've seen photos of her father at about a year old and his hair was a similar texture; its now very curly ('wooly') so I'm not sure how her hair will be in the future.

SofiaAmes Sun 13-Jan-08 14:49:38

Yes, olive oil is fine, it's just a little smelly. I think that there are similar oils that don't smell quite so much. I have done a search on the internet and I guess there seems to be much more choice here in the usa. I just went to my local hair supply shop and asked the girl behind the counter who happened to have mixed race hair (fake extensions, it turned out) and she showed me numerous brand options. I bought the one that she said sold the best. Anyway, here's a link to a similar type of oil at a site in the usa. I don't think they ship to the uk, but it gives you an idea of what type of product to look for. Don't forget the conditioner as well. AND DO NOT WASH MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK WITH SHAMPOO.

sallystrawberry Sun 13-Jan-08 14:53:48

I sometimes leave dd's 2 weeks if its braided and Im busy, shes really good at sitting (sometimes for hours hmm) to have her hair done, shes used to it now, we put the tv on and have a chat it is quite nice actually.

SofiaAmes Sun 13-Jan-08 15:02:55

I just looked on some American sites and there are a bunch of people raving about how wonderful Danbur Vatika Oil is. It's an Indian product, so you should be able to get it at any Indian grocery. Or here's an online store that sells it.

SofiaAmes Sun 13-Jan-08 15:03:38

Sorry, make that Dabur Vatika Oil.

franch Sun 13-Jan-08 15:54:35

<<Waves back at Mars thinking hmm well yes but considerably older grin>>

Thu's good - DD1 has a school assessment in the morning but so far looks like we'll be in in the afternoon - text me?

MarsLady Sun 13-Jan-08 15:58:31

will do!

You realise that I'll stay for dinner and general rabble raising don't you? wink

sallystrawberry Sun 13-Jan-08 19:22:21

the olive oil smell doesn't stay in the hair because I was it out

SofiaAmes Sun 13-Jan-08 20:19:50

You should put the oil in the hair after it's washed (or rinsed) and conditioned. When the hair is dry, each morning before school as part of the brushing/combing braiding routine.

MarsLady Sun 13-Jan-08 20:21:34

I have a lovely olive oil spray that I use in my DC's hair.

Organic Root Stimulator - Olive Oil.

Gorgeous stuff. The DC use it every day. It also comes as a lotion.

MarsLady Sun 13-Jan-08 20:25:01
sallystrawberry Sun 13-Jan-08 21:55:28

I don't braid daily <<faints at the thought>> when I braid (cornrows) it lasts a week.

SofiaAmes Sun 13-Jan-08 22:02:51

Sorry, yes I know that. Lucky you...my dd's hair lasts few hours!!! But if you don't do cornrows and do something thicker and more often... anyway, put oil on hair when it's dry before you do the braiding however often you are doing it....

sallystrawberry Sun 13-Jan-08 22:15:25

took dd's cornrows out today and braided two pigtails, she looks like this grin but without the middle braid

sallystrawberry Sun 13-Jan-08 22:16:16

oh no link didn't work! she doesn't look like tommy she looks like susie grin

franch Mon 14-Jan-08 16:20:18

Mars - I've always just used diluted olive oil in a spray bottle. Is the special spray you buy better?

Never thought the DDs' hair smelled, must check blush

Mars what sort of time will it be Thu?

franch Mon 14-Jan-08 16:25:19

How often do you guys get your kids' hair cut? DD2's has never been cut (she's 2 and a bit); not sure when DD1's was last trimmed - maybe a year ago (she's 4). They both look great and we're letting both of them grow their hair big, but I guess the time will come for regular trims at some point, to keep the hair healthy - just not sure when - ??

sallystrawberry Mon 14-Jan-08 17:54:17

dd is 5, every now and then when its braided I trim the end of each braid, shes never had it cut properly

SofiaAmes Mon 14-Jan-08 19:35:22

Downside to trimming the hair is that you then will find it difficult to braid right down to the end of the hair. I have just found this out after I diligently gave dd her annual trimming. Dd has white hair, but I'm sure same applies to any hair.

franch Mon 14-Jan-08 20:35:04

But you have to have it trimmed sometime, don't you?

SofiaAmes Mon 14-Jan-08 21:54:37

I'm not sure I have seen any convincing evidence that the world will come to an end if you don't trim your dd's hair. Especially if it's mixed race hair and you keep it tied up most of the time. I would guess regular trimming is more relevant to straight hair that is worn loose and therefore looks ragged if it's not trimmed in a straight line. In any case, my dd is never still long enough for anyone to notice whether her hair is even remotely cut in a straight line.

MarsLady Mon 14-Jan-08 22:00:54

I get my DCs' hair trimmed once or twice a year. It prevents the ends from splitting. I've never found plaiting it to be a problem afterwards.

I would imagine that the olive oil that you use is more than fine Franch. I'm a lazy wee moo and so to buy one that I don't have to do anything to is a plus. Makes their hair gorgeous though.

What time is good for you Thursday? Actually scratch this Thursday. Got a birthday do to go to! What is a good time to invade your home and kiss those girls?

jaleel Thu 21-Feb-08 20:21:17

hi i have 4 mixed race kids 2 girls 2 boys there hair is really really thick and curly as i have extreamley thick hair also i am a white mum but my kids have mostly mixed race cousins none have hair quite as thick as my kids the conditioners do not seem to work it just stays on the hair it does not condition if any one has any tips

claireybee Wed 02-Apr-08 15:47:05

Just to update, after asking for advice ages ago and trying various things recommended on here I've finally found a system that works well for us. I use the Anita Grant Babassu shampoo bar to wash dd's hair.

Then I use a rinse out conditioner, at the moment I'm using this Green People one but any non chemically one (dd is not yet 2 so I don't like using products on her really)

Then I use the Anita Grant Whipped Butter on the dry ends. This butter is also great for any dry skin patches.

When dd's hair is still wet I plait it into 4 single plaits (still haven't got the hang of cornrows!). I do find I have to redo the plaits daily as her hair is a real mixture and they frizz a lot after she has slept on them. Then I'll either plait daily, or brush out and put in bunches or just comb out into an Afro. I also spray her hair with a leave in conditioner daily and add more whipped butter to the ends or down the length of the plaits. I tried the MOP conditioner someone mentioned below but I found that it really built up on the hair and made it smell fishy after a couple of days, probably better if you wash the hair more often than I do! Am back to using an olive oil and water mixture now.

I have found that using a rinse out conditioner when I wash it as well as a leave in one daily has made a huge difference, as has plaiting her hair. I now always either loosely plait it or tie it up overnight because this really helps with the tangles the next day. It has also made the curls less tight and her afro bigger which can only be a good thing!

The Anita Grant stuff is pricy but lasts forever and really works well so thank you to whoever recommended it!

159159 Sat 19-Apr-08 16:01:41

Is there a web site that shows different hair styles on kids (or adults really) that i could do on DD (shes nearly 3) i twisted and twirled into bobbles the other day and she looked in the mirrow and said 'no (shaking head) look like raa' (thats what she calls monsters or scary things) Then i showed her a pick in a magazine and then it was ok, she then liked it. We're off to a party tonight and fancy doing something different.....and ideas......
Thanks smile

Leenie Wed 14-May-08 23:58:02

Hi 159159, go into google and type in mixed race hair styling, there are loads of links there that will give you tips, from my own experience with my girls, when they are younger and their hair is always kept curlier it gets real dry, when you wash it try not to let it just dry naturally because no matter how much you have combed it and greased it when wet once it dries it shrinks and get knotty again, i used to wash, grease, section and blow dry warm not hot setting , regreasing each section as i blow dried it, then style it, either plaits or sectioned twists for school, it stays alot tidier, i also used to run the straighteners through it after blowdrying just to minimise any frizz, if you gently loosen the curls by blowdrying, you prevent breakage cos your not over stretching the tight curls, at bed time i always gave them "donkey plats" lol, loose plaits down low without bands at top, so it was loose and comfy for bed and wasnt pulling, avoid hair products like pink please , they cause breakage and split hair, i think they are so perfumy and chemical, try and get things with olive oil in, thankfully they do their own hair now adays , I started relaxing their hair when they reached about 13/14, they had gotten to that teenage time where they did not want me to do their hair anymore, cos they wanted to do their own little slick fringe and gelled down curls looks, but their hair was very thick and tight , they used to come to me every weekend with a mass of mess (usually the remainder of a bun) which would look as if it hadnt been combed out all week, between two of them i would spend hours trying to comb their knots out, tbh i was sick of it all, hence i started relaxing, and they do their own hair now , i dont get any say in it now unless they want a trim or canerow, or restock of their never ending pots of potions, lol, u got all that to come, my eldest recently died the bottom under section of her hair blonde, with brown on top, but then decided to use a wash in/out black blue mousse, for a night out, the result now, !!! she has green sreaks in her hairgrin which she and her friends think is cool, i hope i have a boy this time, hope my babblin thread is of a little help, good luck !

3timer Wed 28-May-08 22:54:51

Hey guys, my dd1 has beautiful curly ringlet hair..........dd2 is not so lucky!! She is afro all the way, but living in Ireland, no afro hair product is cheap at hand! Got it braided the other day where she CRIED, my heart broke as it was my fault for not brushing it...... but i have straight silky hair, i dont know how to deal with this!! But i swear i will never let it go again!!!
My friend has picked me up some stuff from ny (everything so cheap over there hehe) So will lash them in.
Of course my son has the most amazing soft curly hair........................

MarsLady Wed 28-May-08 23:01:22

That's always the way. The boys have the curls. Both of my DSs have thick curls. My DDs on the other hand have much tighter curls...but still look glorious (thankfully)! Of course DD2 (9) is now experimenting with her hair. Sigh.......

ses259 Mon 09-Jun-08 22:18:38

Hi guys, can anyone help me? my daughter is nearly 4 now but her hair has never grown much. I've used different products although as her hair is a lot finer than my boys my sister in law advised me maybe to even use the products I use as some could be too strong. I do like a conditioner called 'Soft and precious' but whatever I do her hair is not growing to me. I really get annoyed when people call her boy as she is so pretty, and see all the other girls at nursery and feel like I've failed her although I'm sure nothing I've done has made her hair grow slowly. I used to massage it nightly with moisturiser to stimulate the scalp but that didn't seem to do anything either - please anyone, I would be so grateful for any advice? Ses 259.

friendlyedjit Tue 17-Jun-08 09:48:33

my dd2 of 6 has the most amazing afro hair, which has constantly been a challenge for me!
Have just discovered "mane and tail" shampoo and conditioner for HORSES!!!!
SJP raved about in Cosmo apparently- good website and dd2 loves the idea that horses use it, and that bottle has directions for them also.
Can even order from Amazon!!!
She hasn't started 'neighing' yet so side effects minimal and the tears with combing have diminished amazingly. My bun on a Saturday morning also has a new lease of life and almost comparable to the serious dancing mums!

cuteglitterbabe Fri 19-Dec-08 17:47:50

I have loved reading this topic, but it was one long thread & I had to give up in the end!
I live away from all my family, including hubbys, so I do not have anyone to help.
I am white & my DH is Afro-Caribbean.
I have DD#1 aged 5 with afro-type hair & DD#2 aged 4 has more ringlet curls.
However, DD#2 hair is VERY long - down to her bottom & recently to my horror, she got nits!!! I was under the pretence (thanks to DH!) that she would not catch nits, as her coarse hair would break their legs & they do not settle in mixed race/afro hair.
THIS IS NOT TRUE!!!!!
I find doing my 2 x DD's hair a real chore, as I have arthritis in my knees & when I bath them & have to do their hair, I have to kneel for approx 1.30hr to 2hrs to completely wash & detangle both heads.
The recent nit infestation has been awful & after 2 weeks of treatment, I am still finding the odd one, but mainly in the youngest DD hair, as she has so much of it.
The de-lousing is also traumatic for the younger 1 as she has slight special needs & trying to keep her still or explain why I have to do the combing etc is difficult.
I only wish I could plait, but I cannot & my DD#1 is refusing to get her hair done at the Afro Hairdressers, as they pull her hair so hard & make her cry.
So, I would really appreciate any advice on the best taming products & the best brushes to use on their hair.
Also, any failsafe nit killers, which will not dry out or harm their hair too.
(And yes, some Black Mums do look you up & down if your child’s hair is less than perfect – like you do not deserve to have them, or if their skin is a bit ashy etc).
I also have a 17 year old white son to my 1st marriage & he has never had nits, but his hair was SO EASY to look after, just cut it short when it looked a bit scruffy.
Washing & caring for his hair was dead simple, so I do have a comparison to go by with how hard my DD's hair is to look after.

pinkmagic1 Fri 19-Dec-08 19:42:05

My DH used had nits a few times as a child, as did most kids in his family. This myth definitely isn't true.

ChristMarsSleighdy Fri 19-Dec-08 19:47:52

cute... I'm a black mum with mixed children. I use Hedrin. Works beautifully without the hours and hours of combing.

I'm sorry if you find that some black women look down on you. The other side of the coin is that some white friends with mixed children talk about how difficult mixed hair is. It's not really. My DSes have "straight" hair. It's all about the care and if you can wade through enough of this ENORMOUS thread you should find some of the help that you need. Of course you could always CAT one of the other mums on the thread and ask for specific help. I'm happy to point you in the direction of some good products. In fact Franch (white mum, mixed DDs - completely gorgeous all of them) pointed out a couple of products to me that I hadn't seen.

my email (if you want to use it and don't think I'm trying to patronise - I just read back and it could seem that way but I promise it isn't) is lovelymarslady at aol dot com.

claireybrations Thu 15-Jan-09 15:01:30

REVELATION! The tangle teezer really does work!

It was recommended to me a while ago but after looking at one I thought there was no way it could work on dd's hair as the prongs seemed too short and too bendy BUT I got one at Christmas and it has made dd's hair so easy to brush and she no longer cries while I'm doing it smile You do need a different technique to a comb but it really does get rid of knots and tangles...combing the conditioner through when I washed her hair took 10 mins instead of the usual 20-30 and it makes redoing her plaits so fast-yay!

Marsy I know what you mean and I agree that mixed hair isn't really difficult(well, it's not rocket science or anything) BUT when you are used to hair that you can just pull a brush through in 20 seconds flat, hair that gets so tangled and matted is more difficult than that. I think that is why you hear so many of us white mums complaining about it, especially when our kids are at the toddler stage and very few of the other mums are having to deal with much hair at all wink

That said, dd's hair is difficult mainly because she has so much of it-she has a full head of thick very tight curls and it gets matted within about 10 minutes of being combed when she wears it loose. Ds' hair however, has naturally grown into a fluffy mohican (which I LOVE!) and is so much easier to deal with than dd's, even when it gets matted it is easier to comb out than hers has ever been. So it isn't that mixed race hair is difficult, but that certain types of mixed race hair are (and probably no different to that of a white child with a full head of tight curls..)

urbanangel Fri 06-Feb-09 10:35:56

Bit late for this one but i use baby afro shampoo from my local afro/carribean shop and use my own conditioner comb the hair while wet, then add baby oil then dry! If i want it neat without washing it i use baby love conditioning serum, it works wonders wink

mamamila Wed 08-Apr-09 21:13:17

hi if anyone checks this thread... i was despairing over dd's matted mess and couldn't find any of the products locally (up north) recommended. then discovered original sprout in a discount salon brands shop so half the price advertised on that website. the leave in conditioner works like magic and dd now has soft little ringlet curls and brushing is effortless. we no longer have to bribe her with chocolate buttons whilst combing matted clumps into frizz
so good i had to tell anyone who might be listening!

happycampers1 Tue 02-Jun-09 08:15:01

Just wanted to add that [http://www.ofcolour.co.uk] does a fab range for mixed hair children, with that focus in mind, I found the cleansing shampoo fantastic and used in conjunction with refine conditioner 3 worked wonders and DD's hair smelt wonderful!

mammya Tue 02-Jun-09 08:58:24

Thanks for that mamamila and happycampers, these look really good but blimey they aren't cheap! I am always on the look out for good hair products for my dd. I think I'm going to order the "enhance curls" trial pack from of colour to start with.

happycampers1 Wed 03-Jun-09 08:33:40

Thats a good place to start as you can make sure the different conditioners do what you want it to! Did you see the t-shirts? I thought the idea is amazing have treated DD to mummy & me! (or treated myself!! lol) wink

nessus Thu 11-Jun-09 12:30:17

Does anyone here use CURLS WHIPPED CREAM on their DDs hair?

DD is a Nigerian/British mix and I think if I could just find the perfect cream, she could have lovely soft curls all day!

The only place I have found it on sale is on ebay for around £15 including p+p

Do you use anything you can recommend?

zeusgg Sun 05-Jul-09 22:12:19

I think it is an identity issue and it is sad that so many black poeople keep straigtening their hair to look European (the products are banned in norway luckily, or at least some of them)
By Mille Fri 14-Sep-07 12:07:26

With regards to the above post, I'd like to say that I am Black and British of Jamaican parentage and I straighten my hair and I don't look European! or even think I look European and I don't have any identity issues either. FYI a lot of people with hair like mine straighten it as it is more manageable than in it's natural state, as some people with mixed race children have found and they have half European hair!

Not to say straightening is the answer for everyone coz it's not - straightened hair takes a lot of looking after.

The plus side to this, is when your in a hot night club and you've straightened natural afro hair - as soon as heat and moisture hits your hair, your back to your afro, you don't have this problem with relaxed hair!
It also dries naturally quicker!

So people like yourself shouldn't make sweeping norrow minded statements about things you don't know!

zeusgg Sun 05-Jul-09 22:51:40

Interesting site, I'm black and have 3 mixed race children, my husband is white. All my children have different hair textures. The eldest boy(9), has more European hair, the second b(4) has more afro hair, his curls are tight and defined more individual when his hair is short and my daughter(3) has more difinatively half and half, you can see the European hair, it is more 'wavy ' than curly and looks and feels European and the afro hair which is corser and drier and feels more afro.

I use Dax products on all there hair (Blue tin for the eldest, Purple for the middle and Dax pomade (green hair oil) for the girl). I only skim the top of the product for the boys and lightly coat their hair, after washing and it defines there curls beautifully, use too much and you attrack dirt and dust.

For the girl, I mainly oil her scalp after washing the hair and I use the product sparingly. Centre part hair, oil that, then part the left side from the centre (back to front) about an inch apart, oil the scalp, do the same for the right side, a little an the hair, both sides, then part again (ear to ear) then do in four individual plaites, then I leave it to dry naturally. I have used the drier once but this really strips the hair of its natural oils and it doesn't look or feel the same as when naturally dried.

I just use Johnsons products for washing and conditioning though I don't think this is working as well as it did as her hair is very dry at the mo, though this could be the weather, so was looking for alternative products - hence comming on this site, though will stick to Johnsons if I don't find anything.

mustincreasebust Mon 20-Jul-09 18:55:13

Coming to this late and forgive me if this has been mentioned as I have not read the whole thread but for those that are still looking for support, I would really recommend sites such as www.naturallycurly.com/. Although American it has a wealth of information.

Bexstar5 Mon 27-Jul-09 12:52:27

Hi - I'd just like to say that my daughter is of mixed black African and white British (me, her mother). I have bought a cream called Baby Love but think it may be a bit too greasy. I feel like I am failing my daughter as I do not know what shampoo or hair products to use. She is 18 months and hair is growing FAST! Her hair is not so afro but very curly and soft. I manage to put her hair up in little nodules/ringlets or bunches (I can plait but only plain ones). Where can I learn to corn row or French plait??? Any help will be gratefully received!!

Sammy3 Thu 30-Jul-09 15:03:05

I'm black British and have 3 mixed race children: 1 boy & 2 girls, each with different hair textures. VO5 Moisture Soak products are fantastic, especially on dd1's long, thick hair. Compared to other products, I only have to use a little shampoo & it suds up in no time. I've used all sorts of styling products, including Baby Love which I agree is too greasy. I finally settled on Elasta QP Recovery which I heard about on mumsnet & it's the best for all of my kids' hair.

Bexstar5, I'd recommend buying It's all Good Hair if you don't know anyone who can show you how to cornrow. Start practising as soon as she's got enough hair & you'll soon become an expert. You're already half way there since you can plait. You'll probably wind up with loose, crooked plaits at first but don't be put off. It's worth the effort. Her hair texture is still likely to change (thicken) since she's only a toddler. But, if it doesn't, you might find it doesn't hold the plaits so you'll probably need to secure the ends with a clip to stop them unraveling.

mixiepixie Wed 19-Aug-09 18:15:43

Hi guys, with 315 posts, do forgive me if some of this has been said before:-

As we all know mixed race hair comes in a wide variety of curl types and textures, so for each child you may have to try slightly different things to groom and tidy hair.

Natural products are best on small children, of course; shea butter is brilliant, and imes olive or coconut oi'. Sadly, these oils do not work on my own hair (I am mixed race), only watery gels and things that lock in moisture do.

For me, 'Texture My Way' and 'Kids Organics' work very well for my type of hair (pencil circumference curls, very dry). 'Mixed Chicks Leave In Conditioner' and Aveda 'Be Curly' are pretty good for curl definition, but they can leave the hair a bit dry. 'Herbal Essences' Conditioners are BRILLIANT by the way. Just simply leave it in - don't wash it out!!!

There are some great blogs out there; 'Tightly Curly', Nature's Parlour', 'Curls' (and please do pop by and say hi to me at 'Marvelous Mixed Race Hair' ) smile

MarsLady Thu 03-Sep-09 14:11:21

Has anyone posted about the Tangle Teezer? Fantastic! Thanks HoochieMomma grin

Love it! Don't know how we did without it.

Love2dance Fri 02-Oct-09 15:21:54

Mixiepixie, did you follow Terri's method on Tightly Curly? I have been wondering whether it works on those of us with frizzier drier hair (hers looks a bit softer and more liable to fall into a defined curl pattern than mine). I haven't tried it yet (still using my other products and still have very short hair) but would like to.

I like mixed chicks too. Better since I stopped processing (texturising) my hair. I find you can mitigate the dryness it can cause by using a watery/glycerin based leave in conditioner like African Pride or African Royale Daily Doctor (or even Aussie Hair Insurance) beforehand when hair is blotted dry/a bit damp after washing.

I'm still growing short hair after going back to natural. Anyone know someone who's REALLY good at cutting curly/frizzy natural growing out hair in North/North West or Central London?

mixiepixie Fri 16-Oct-09 13:49:36

Hiya Love2dance - I have tried Teri's method and it does work. The Herbal Essences Coconut conditioner (in the blue bottle) is the best one for me. Believe it or not, you do not end up showering dry flakes of conditioner everywhere, (which is what happened when I tried the same thing with Motions Conditioner).

The hair is left softer in 'feel' than with the Mixed Chicks product, which is great.

And the amount of breakage is SO MUCH LESS! Breakage from dry products is the bane of my life! My ends will soon be thick and healthy.

Give it a whirl! She also recommends a Tresemme conditioner too (I haven't tried that one).

mixiepixie

mammya Wed 21-Oct-09 21:04:30

After 8 years of trying things out for my dd's tight corkscrew curls, I have started using the "no-poo" method on dd's hair after reading about it on Mumsnet. This is where no shampoo is used, the hair is washed in conditioner, and the results are fantastic. Until now dd had her hair in plaits or cornrows most of the time, but with this method I think it will be possible for her to have her hair loose and long, with lovely defined curls instead of a frizzball or a huge afro (although will probably keep it plaited for school because of the threat of headlice), and I am even hoping the day will come soon when she will be able to look after her hair herself. Can only recommend it to anyone who has to deal with curly hair!

I also strongly recommend the Tangle Teezer hair brush, expensive but well worth it.

franch Sun 25-Oct-09 09:33:38

Tried Terri's method on the DDs yesterday and DD2 in particular (more afro than DD1) looked amazing - loads of lovely compliments.

I didn't find the Tangle Teezer any good at all!

ItNeverRainsBut Sun 25-Oct-09 11:11:05

Does anyone else have this issue?

DD has different textured hair on different parts of her head. Most of her hair is in loose curls but a patch at the back is in tight corkscrew curls with a tendency to frizziness and knotting. Her hair is fairly short except for this bit at the back which is thicker and longer, although the tightness of the curls means it doesn't look longer. I'm not sure what to do to minimise the contrast.

PDRlovesbiscuits Tue 03-Nov-09 19:06:30

What a great thread!

I am white and my DS is mixed race.

His hair is brown with sofr loose curls and straight bits around the face.

His scalp is always very dry and now I see maybe I am using the wrong products on him! I normall shampoo him with J. Baby (yellow one) twice a week.

I have ordered the trial pack from "Of Colour" as looked very good.

QUESTION

What's this about the lotion? DS has olive skin (I am very pale myself) and I use J. Baby Naturals Intensive Cream on him after his bath. Should I be using a special product on him?

We live in Devon and my DH is literally "the only black man in the village" and so I don't have anyone to get this sort of advice from!

He is 18 months so I hope I have not being doing it all wrong for this long! blush!

franch Wed 04-Nov-09 21:23:44

PDR - I'd wash your DS's hair less often if you can get away with it. The tightlycurly site's advice is excellent (find the 'little ones' page) - basically minimise shampooing by either washing with conditioner only, or once with shampoo and then with conditioner; then condition again and leave it in.

Re his skin, if it looks and feels ok you're probably fine. Our DDs both had eczema as babies and we got Diprobase on repeat prescription which we've continued with (in fact we all use it now - wonderful stuff) - if you want something richer than what you're using it's worth a try. (You can get it over the counter.) Otherwise there are good natural products you can try like shea/cocoa butter. As long as he hasn't got ashy knees you're fine

MarsLady Wed 04-Nov-09 21:34:58

<<waves at the stranger commonly known as franch>>

franch Thu 05-Nov-09 11:44:42

<<waves back at Mars and feels honoured to be acknowledged by someone who hobnobs with the stars>>

rachsot Sat 20-Feb-10 15:15:39

i have a 20 month old baby girl she is mixed ive been washing her hair every day using shampoo and con for dry hair and it seems ok. But very hard to comb and her hair is very curly and not longer anoth to do any thing with it . Cant find any were on isle of wight that does any thing for afro hair so im stuck on what i can do for her.My husband ant any help on what to do and its him thats from nigeria lol.

vonnyh Mon 22-Feb-10 17:02:52

You really don't need to be washing her hair every day. In fact by doing this you're probably drying it out. Try using a wide tooth comb when combing, so it's not so difficult for you (and her!)

pinkmagic1 Mon 22-Feb-10 20:02:36

Agree, you should definitely not wash her hair everyday, you will be doing more harm than good, once a week is ample.
If you can't buy afro hair products locally you can order online, however some mainstream products are good. I find the 'Aussie haircare range great and would also, like others on here, recommend the 'Tangle Teezer' brush for tear free combing. You can buy one of these in Boots.

ChynaDoll2006 Wed 24-Feb-10 14:24:38

People! Leaving your child's hair out is not the answer as it matts and tangles so easily. You can form dreadlocks within days!

Get yourself on youtube, and teach yourself how to canerow! Buy a dolls head at first (unless your child is massively patient). If you do them well, styles can be left in for up to 6 weeks. Tell me not combing mixed race hair for 6 weeks doesn't sound nice!

Sculptress Sun 09-May-10 00:13:11

my darling D is 3 and a half and was born with beautiful soft straight jet black hair, but as he got older it became brown (with blonde tips)and curls, ooohh wee. His hair is definately west indian texture like me. I guess the blonde is like his dad's. We use all Aveda products because it is natural and smells oh so good but now the warning, it is not cheap. As a baby we used Aveda curl activator which was brilliant on dry hair to define his soft curls. We have always used the following, Aveda brilliants shampoo and conditioner, especially for thick west indian style hair. Wash his hair once a fortnight and do that deep conditioning two hour comb out. Lots of conditioner a video, bribery and hoping the police don't come to my door for the shouts of " no mummy". After the comb through and the chiney bumps, I cut of the little balls of knots on the ends and breath a deep sigh of relief.:0. Every morning after a shower or a wash(when his hair does not get damp) I spray his hair with an olive oil leave in conditioner then using my hands just pull out the tigher curls, then he is good to go.
I think his almost daily showers don't help his dryness but getting a cap on his head is just not going to happened. He is modelling at the moment and the curls hanging in his face are one of the things they want. On those days just the olive oil de-tangling conditioner, especially in the back is all it takes. Although I have a routine, I would like a little more moisture in his hair. My husband thinks there might be a magic PRODUCT that will soften his very curly hair. I hope there is but the dude is already complaining about curls in is eyes, what will we do if it softens. We have no intention of cutting his hair like all our mix race friends have had to with their boys hair and I don't known any mix race girls that have not resorted to perms. I want to find something that he will be able to continue when he is older, otherwise its locs like his mother has just started. I am looking at the Vitapro Fusion Leave In Treatment Conditioner but it would be nice to see someone that has used it on the curls like my son's rather than the lovely soft curls.

by the way. it is so good to find a group I can relate to. Hope to have many more chats.

MammaGi Tue 11-May-10 18:00:50

My 6 month old child is mixed race (black African and white british) and although her hair is fairly curly, it's nowhere near as tight-curly as her father's. Also her skin is not very dark. I was interested to hear from several people I know that her hair will probably become curlier gradually in time. Is this what happens generally? Do mixed race children change with time? I find this topic quite fascinating. Excuse my ignorance by the way!

MistyBell Sat 19-Jun-10 22:25:06

Hi I'm mixed race and it took me until my 20's to truly understand how to deal with my hair. I found a brilliant product which is canadian but you can buy it here online.

I wrote a post about it. If you're interested check it out
http://wp.me/pS00T-7q

It's important to avoid petroleum based hair products because they actually make hair drier.

There are lots of helpful clips on you tube too that show how to look after and help enhance curls.

I'm happy to answer any questions if you need.

Louby34 Fri 27-Aug-10 22:55:46

I have 2 girls,I have spent many years buying expensive products ordering from America, and travelling to London.
Hair combing time used to just be awful. I then found a really good website: www.tightlycurly.com
Since following her advice both my girls hair has grown and life is just so much easier and they are happier!
1: Only ever comb hair when wet an d coated in conditioner
2: Always use a Denman brush - so much easier
3: comb section at a time and from bottom gradually work up
4: You don't need expensive products, just those that say for moisture
The best are Tresemme Moisture plus
5:Wash, Condition, comb whie conditioner in, rinse then pile loads of conditioner in to absorb ie Alberto Basalm strawberry (super cheap), leave to dry in natural curls VOILA

thefirstmrsDeVere Fri 27-Aug-10 23:23:00

I bought a Tangle Teezer for DC4 (DS 1&2 have locs). Its brilliant for brushing out. It doesnt seem to bother him at all.

I use it when I am conditioning.
I use it after washing when hair is wet.
I use it when hair is dry and spritz with water to bring his curls back.

I have been doing this for 18 years and all my 5 kids have slightly different hair so still learning.
Vitopoint is still brilliant but a bit expensive.

obama Wed 15-Sep-10 01:22:50

Hi I am mixed race. Just to let you all know, not all mixed-race children have hair that is difficult for their parents to manage but if you do, here are some helpful tips to make it easier for you and your child. please see : http://www.intermix.org.uk/pzone/FEA_07_hair.asp.

Regardless of whether you are black or white or even mixed race, we all have different hair textures which need the right care & treatment. It is just common sense.Curly hair in particular needs a quality shampoo and conditioner without all of those chemicals we find in our hair products these days. If you want those defined curls without any fizz then getting a got conditioner is the place to start - its not rocket science, just try out different products to find one that works. Aubrey Organics White Camellia Ultra-Smoothing Conditioner it is recommended for dry, hard to manage hair. Also Aubrey Organics White Camellia Ultra-Smoothing Shampoo which tames unruly hair. see website:
http://www.afrotherapy.com/gift-ideas-mixed-race.h tml.

obama Wed 15-Sep-10 01:39:11

Don't wash her hair everyday, only once a week. Our hair is like everybody else's, we just need a good hair conditioner put in it like your hair does. Also boots and superdrugs chemist sell some very good hair conditoners - african carribean shops sell good stuff as well but most are full of chemicals so be careful. For instance boots sell a wide range of Aussie Miracle hair conditioner products for straight and curly hair. "Aussie Miracle hair insurance" leave in conditioner is a good one. But as you child is so young perhaps you should buy organic range of hair care products try Aubryn organics (see web site address given my other post on this subject.

pinkmagic1 Thu 16-Sep-10 12:26:37

I 2nd the Aussie miracle hair insurance, it is fantastic for my DD's very curly mixed Arab/Euro hair. Use it on dry hair as a detangler as well as after washing.

eurocommuter Sun 03-Oct-10 07:54:44

I have a ds with complete tight curly hair and a dd with looser curls. On dd I use aveda's dry remedy moisture shampoo once a month or if needed for accidents, but I was her hair once week with just a moisturing detagling conditioner, aveda dry remedy or reconstructing one. I the use aveda be curly after the wash and that works. For ds, I can't find a routine or product the works as well. So I use dd's routine. It's still impossible to comb his hair without the whole street wondering what we r doing. I can do with some help finding a detangler that has little or no chemicals. So I can come his hair without him suffering so much.
Can anyone help?

Bexstar5 Thu 07-Oct-10 15:14:04

My DD is half white British (me) and half black African (dad) and her hair is slightly afro but very curly and like ringlets. When it has been done, everyone comments how lovely it is and how like 'european hair' it is!! I am not really happy with this comment but for many it is ignorance. Another thing I can't stand is how many people (incl perfect strangers!) think it is ok for them to touch my DDs hair and feel it!
The ones that do have the mind to ask if it is ok to touch it usually ask as they are doing it!

OK, rant over!!

I wash my DDs hair once a week and use a shampoo and conditioner (I will have to look the name up!!). After it's been washed, and EVERY morning, I apply a de-tangler followed by shea butter (again, I will have to look the product up - sorry!!). I comb from the ends inwards - if you know what I mean - I take the ends of the hair and comb and then take a little more from the ends and comb - repeating this process until I get to the scalp. This way there is minimum unnecesary pulling (and breaking - ouch!) of the hair and subsequent pain endured!! I then style. She still hates it at times but I suppose because it takes so long and it is a ritual we have to do every single morning!! Even if she has plaits - they will need re-doing the next day.

I love her hair and I can do so many things with it grin

I wish white mothers of kids with curly/ringlet/afro etc etc hair would look after it though. When it has just not been combed/styled/whatever, it really annoys me. Also, please use the afro/carribean shops cos they are fantastic. Something for everyone. Don't use 'white' products cos they don't work and also, they strip the oils from an already dry hair and scalp!! Right, second rant over smile

Will get back to you with names of products - for some reason they have just gone right out of my mind!!!

Bexstar5 Thu 07-Oct-10 22:44:50

Hi again. So, those that are still keeping up(!), here are the products I use and currently they seem to work just great.

Sofn'free n'pretty range: shea butter shampoo, cucumber conditioner followed by olive oil detangler and then shea butter.

When first started out, I bought Baby Love but found it far to heavy and greasy immediately it was applied and then as the day wore on, it just dried my DDs hair out really badly.

So, until she gets a bit older and if her hair type changes, I will keep with what i know. Or, of course, if I find something better!

Happy hair dayzzzzzzz...

Smalline Thu 07-Oct-10 23:22:17

Hello Bexstar5 I was just wondering how old is your DD and how long does it take to do her hair every day?

Bexstar5 Fri 08-Oct-10 18:45:43

She is nearly 3 and it takes between 20-50 minutes. 10 minutes if I am super fast and only put the products on, comb it and leave it out or with clips!! Plaiting takes the longest.

Smalline Fri 08-Oct-10 22:52:31

I wish I could leave my DD hair out, she has gorgeous hair (I'm mixed race, white & afro caribbean, and my husband is afro caribbean), but if I do it gets so matted & tangled, she has masses and masses of hair which I have in about 7 plaits at the moment, each plait takes me about 15 minutes to do. I too use the Sofn'free n'pretty range, I've used the cucumber conditioner and the olive & sunflower oil moisturizing lotion, maybe I should use the detangler with the moisturizing lotion as I find that the moisturizing lotion just tends to sit on top the hair rather than soaking in. I would love to do her hair every day but just can't find the time - she is 7.

Bexstar5 Mon 11-Oct-10 21:05:35

I can leave it out for the moment cos she is so young and it hasn't grown too long yet. Well, it is long when I wash it - halfway down her back - but once it springs back into a curl it comes up above her shoulders!! It does get tangled by the end of the day - especially the back and underneath. I was at a kids party recently and this young girl of about 8 kept ruffling and rubbing my DDs hair and it was driving me potty! I didn't know what to say without sounding cruel!

Shea butter is fantastic and I would definitely advise de-tangler!!

I am still learning how to plait properly and wish I could do it really well but I know I am getting better the more I do it.

I just my daughter to be able to have as many styles as possible and if I learn and experiment then hopefully, when she is a little older, she will know how to do her hair.

I dread the day she says she wants to straighten it!!

franch Thu 14-Oct-10 09:45:53

DD1 (6y)'s swimming teacher said to her last week 'Tell your mum not to put so much greasy stuff on your hair' (apparently her swimming hat slips off). I had a word!!!! angry

hifi Thu 14-Oct-10 10:45:55

my dd hair is like yours bexstar. we were on holiday last year in asia and a waiter asked how we made her hair!
i have tried every suggestion on hair product
and none have been great,have about 20 bottles of stuff in cupboards.
i have been using pantene conditioner which is better than most.

eurocommuter Tue 26-Oct-10 12:52:19

Has anyone heard of and used Tangle Teezer Brush? I hear a lot of raving about it but not sure it would work my 2.

littlemissm Wed 27-Oct-10 22:06:52

The tangle teezer brush would i think be only suitable for european hair. I have seen these & my sis inlaw uses it on her lil girl but i think mixed race hair would be to curly & course to go through the soft flimsy bristles

Smalline Thu 28-Oct-10 10:07:15

I use the tangle teezer brush on my hair which is short, thin & curly, (I have mixed race hair) it is also good on my sons short hair, but is no good on my daughters, she has thick course hair.

franch Sun 07-Nov-10 15:38:40

Tangle Teezer was no good on my DDs' midlength/long, corkscrew hair

FreakoidOrganisoid Sun 07-Nov-10 15:49:13

Tangle teezer is brilliant on dd's hair. Her hair has got more european as it has grown though-is very curly, frizzy and soft. Goes into corkscrews when washed.

KatyMac Wed 08-Dec-10 22:52:47

Can I ask......is this the longest running thread that keeps being added to?

It's mine <laughs manically>

Bexstar5 Thu 09-Dec-10 18:57:31

Hey - I think so KatyMac! So come on then wise sage, how have you got on over the years managing your DCs hair??

jbells Thu 09-Dec-10 19:03:28

oh i am very glad to find this thread i have DD who is mixed race and her hair at 20 months is already solongthick and curly when wet it is down to her lower back but when dry it rests on her shoulders, it gets so so so notty and is a nitemare to maintain without feeling like i am hurting her

i have realised her hair needs washing a lot less than mine but wud welcome any tips

i have very straight hair so its all new to me and DP being a bloke doesnt do hair and just shaves his

Igglystuffedfullofturkey Thu 09-Dec-10 19:07:30

There is a great range called mixed chicks - you can buy it online. Worth having a look at the conditioners. Also used a wide toothed comb and tackle her hair in sections after washing it so it's easier to get any tangles out!

jbells Thu 09-Dec-10 19:22:32

thanks iggly- looking on the website now

KatyMac Thu 09-Dec-10 19:25:24

Don't use shampoo just conditioner only wash once a week (or less)

I found mixed chicks makes her hair crispy but we are playing around with it

jbells Thu 09-Dec-10 19:35:41

i only wash her hair around every 1-2 wks i always thought i was being terrible by not washing it more as my head gets itchy if i havnt washed it for a few days

im goin to buy the mixed chicks leave in conditioner

oh also they do mixed chicks products on amazon they r slightly cheaper and free delivery

jbells Thu 09-Dec-10 19:37:02

i take that back u do have to pay delivery

Igglystuffedfullofturkey Thu 09-Dec-10 19:42:18

Can you take her to a hairdressers that sells mixed chicks? They can advise you on products (maybe even different ones)? You only need to go once but it'll really help.

jbells Thu 09-Dec-10 19:52:12

shes only 19 months and dont think she wud sit still in a hairdressers chair lol, i have ordered the mixed chicks shampoo and leave in conditioner of amazon so will give that a go, i will keep u updated on how it goes

franch Thu 09-Dec-10 20:05:52

jbells, see TightlyCurly and It's all good hair - these two (plus a little bit of trial and error) told me all I needed to know

Igglystuffedfullofturkey Thu 09-Dec-10 20:06:15

Good luck!

jbells Thu 09-Dec-10 21:25:03

thanks franch

scarymaclary Sat 01-Jan-11 15:46:55

What a great thread - I've read all 15 pages!! The original poster should condense it all into 10 handy tips!!

I feel the time has come to take my lovely mixed race 6 year old DD to a hairdresser. Can anyone recommend a good hairdresser in South London? I know there are plenty of Afro hairdressing salons, but I would like to go somewhere where you're given an appointment time and are in and out in a couple of hours, rather than spending most of the day there.

Thanks in advance.

franch Sun 02-Jan-11 13:01:46

Scary - maybe try bumping this thread? Let me know if you find anywhere!

Marabou Sat 08-Jan-11 20:56:57

Hey guys,

Gosh there are so many posts on here smile! Don't know if it's been mentioned yet, but here's a great website for all the mommies of little curlies in the UK:

http://www.britishcurlies.co.uk/store/

Another really really useful one is:

http://www.naturallycurly.com/

I'm mixed race myself so I'm quite familiar with the confusion associated with caring for tightly curly hair, having gone through that myself with a white mom.. The products at the British Curlies are quite pricey, but very good and you'll get some great haircare tips on the site too + the discussion forums on both websites are really great!

One thing I'd like to say is, please please please people don't think of relaxing your children's hair, but rather learn how to care for it. Watch Chris Rock's Good Hair and you'll see what relaxers do to you!

ilythia Sun 16-Jan-11 14:49:50

Oh wow, so much good advice on this thread. I am at my wits end with DD2's hair, she isn't mixed race but her hair is so curly/frizzy I have no clue what to do with it.
I have straight hair, as does DD1 and every other member of my family. I did get some advice from a friend with mixed race dd's who said it was just like mixed race hair except it is blonde but I couldn't find the product she recommended (avon conditioner).

AM really only posting to mark space on the thread so I can come back and rea at leisure. SHall try and calm the frizzbomb down later with some of these tips.

Oh, and we were at softplay earlier and some little cow reduced DD2 to tears by smacking patting her on the head and telling everyone she had 'frizzy fluffy hair'hmm

mammya Sun 16-Jan-11 22:33:58

How mean to your little girl ilythia angry. I'm sure she is gorgeous with her curly mop.

To start with you could try the no-poo method (search the boards for more detail if you are interested, there are a few threads about it), where you wash the hair with conditioner. Make sure it's conditioner that doesn't contain silicone (cheap, basic ones like the cheapest Tesco's or Boots conditioner are good). Then use a richer conditioner (again with no silicones in it, I like the Naked range, there is one for long hair that contains jojoba oil that is brilliant) and don't rinse it completely out. That should help a lot and doesn't involve splashing out on special products. You can still buy special products anyway, but it'll probably take a bit of trial and error before you get it right.

smile

KatyMac Sun 16-Jan-11 22:38:51

Umm scarymaclary if I had sorted out DD's hair & had 10 top tips I would

But we are in as much of a mess as we have ever been

ilythia Mon 17-Jan-11 18:51:25

grin

Well, I tried the advice on one of the links on ehre and her hair looks awesome.
I have to shampoo it, she's 3 and a messy bugger, it always has yoghurt/mud/paint in it and I don't trust conditioner to clean it but I do only wash ehr scalp and do it once a week.
Yesterday I washed it and ran conditioner through, then combed and separated the curls and left the condtiioner in to dry. This morning I took her to nursery and they were gobsmacked, she looks fab! I think just admitting that it is not like mine or DD1's hair made a difference, I am trying to treat it like ours but we have long straight hair.

Still not great as the underneath/short bits around her hairline hve frizzed overnight but much better than it was. Her hair is weird, she has some North African/arabic on DH's side (which no-one in his family will discusshmm) and irish on mine!

KatyMac Mon 17-Jan-11 21:37:15

One of the links talks about a rinsing conditioner & a combing conditioner.....I think

Well I think I have the rinsing conditioner sorted but we need a good combing conditioner

DD's hair is much better than it was but it's not great yet

ilythia Mon 17-Jan-11 22:50:11

That's the one, no idea which link it is, I read so many!
I wanted to try it out before shelling out so I washed her hair in the l'oreal no tangle 2 in 1 and then used aldi deep conditioner for the combing. I only use a palm size and had to squeeze a load out but it did work. Not sure if it would work for really tight curls but for her loose ringlets it is perfect.
Shall wait and see what it is like tomorrow though...

mammya Tue 18-Jan-11 07:37:19

That is good news Ilythia! smile

If you are going to be using shampoo it's a good idea to look for very mild shampoos that don't contain sulphates, as these strip the hair of all its natural oils, not good for curly hair.

One that I like is Anita Grant's babassu shampoo bar (in fact all her products are lovely!)

Some people also like Lush shampoo bars but I don't like their strong smell. If you use a sulphate-free shampoo then it is important to make sure that the conditioners you use don't contain silicones.

I sympathise KatyMac, I really do... I am still battling with my DD's hair too! smile

KatyMac Tue 18-Jan-11 09:24:57

I was wondering is the Aussie Moist she talks about is the same as the Aussie Miracle Moist we have (& stopped using because of another method)

goingroundthebend4 Tue 18-Jan-11 09:31:44

oh im glad to find this Dd not mixed race but her hair seems to beconfusedher hair is mass of cork screw curls when wet its right down her back but more shoulder length when dry and no brush get through it .Some days i end up just tying up and using spray in condtioner and seperate with my fingers

So far i been going to the afro carribean hairdressers in town for their help and were trying differnt products

franch Wed 19-Jan-11 08:42:51

KatyMac, I use Herbal Essences as a combing conditioner, as recommended on tightlycurly. Have tried specialist products but they're no better on my DDs' hair.

ilythia, my DDs' hair also goes fluffy/tangly overnight. I plait it (using advice from It's All Good Hair - but just basic plaits, or bunches for DD2's shorter hair, nothing fancy) every other day and that keeps it under control. If I do want to leave it loose, I tie it back overnight then re-style it in the morning: olive oil/water spray; more combing conditioner; comb through then separate and smooth through the curls (as described on this page.)

HTH

franch Wed 19-Jan-11 08:44:20

PS If it's plaited/tied back and still goes fluffy at the front, I put a wide hairband on them to cover the fluffy bits! Also helps if they wear a hairband overnight.

KatyMac Wed 19-Jan-11 08:48:35

DD wear a headscarf at night (which really helps)

She has been reading the website & really thinks she wants to have a go at this

We have been eliminating silicones so it's a bit of a 'seachange' to have them back again

& we don't use shampoo so we need to think about that too

franch Wed 19-Jan-11 08:54:48

You don't need to use shampoo tho, KM. If you're following the tightlycurly method, you can skip the shampoo stage, as she says on this page.

KatyMac Wed 19-Jan-11 08:56:27

She is using an original source (mint & teatree I think) conditioner which she loves & we thought the miracle moist might be ok, but we will look for a herbal essences one to leave in

franch Wed 19-Jan-11 09:02:11

I'd've thought miracle moist would be fine but herbal essences def works for us. Mint and teatree can be very drying ingredients - she probably needs something a lot richer.

KatyMac Wed 19-Jan-11 09:05:00

So we need a different rinsing conditioner then - I'll have a look when I go shopping

We hope to try this weekend

mammya Wed 19-Jan-11 09:12:27

I'd really like to try the tightly curly method, but the define step puts me off a bit: it looks like it takes a very long time...

A very rich combing conditioner that I like, and mentioned upthread, is the naked "smooth" conditioner, for long straight hair, funnily enough! It contains jojoba oil, smells lovely and really helps with detangling. I usually mostly rinse it out though, haven't tried leaving it in.

franch Wed 19-Jan-11 09:23:27

KM: I used Alberto VO5 as my DDs' rinsing conditioner for a while, then ran out and started just using Herbal Essences for both rinsing and combing which gave the same results.

mammya: The defining takes hardly any time at all, especially when you're used to it. And DD1 has as much hair as the woman in the pictures (except she's 7, so scaled down a bit!). I use the 'smoothing' method on her. DD2 has shorter hair, more tightly curled, and I 'twirl' hers. Looks gorgeous.

mammya Wed 19-Jan-11 09:26:26

Thanks Franch, I'll give it a go then! My DD's hair is very similar to that of the woman in the pictures, although not quite as long (but getting there!) smile

franch Wed 19-Jan-11 09:27:35

Go for it mammya! Sounds like your DD's hair is just like DD1's.

mammya Wed 19-Jan-11 17:42:42

I'll let you know how it goes!

ilythia Wed 19-Jan-11 18:07:18

I thought the plaiting overnight might be the case, unfortunately DD's hair is ear length and because the curls aren't too tight they donb't hold together well, so looks like I am going to have to keep trying to grow it out and twirling as best I can.
Still looks cool today though, and she had it in bunches all day yesterday!

No chance will she wear a hairband at night, she's 3grin

franch Wed 19-Jan-11 22:54:07

Ah well, ilythia, if it's that short you'll be able to 're-style' it in the morning (as described above) in no time. Do you leave it in bunches overnight? That works for DD2 but her curls are probably tighter than your DD's.

KnackeredOne Sat 22-Jan-11 09:29:32

Hello there, brand new to Mumsnet, and it was this strand that got me hooked.

Got 2 kids - mixed obviously. I'm mixed myself (southern african, greek, portuguese), hubby white.

Daughter (3) has got gorg soft curly hair, but goodness does it get dry and knotty!

I've made up a concoction with Olive Oil, Avocado oil and Coconut oil, Jojoba oil

Put on straight after wash, comb/brush out only ever whilst wet, and put hair into twists or braids, only 4. Not enough time in the day! .

BEDTIME: Just 4 braids or twists, either leave in next morning or loosen depending on my instructions from 'Madame'

Top up lightly with oil on mid section of hair and ends through the week as needed.

Works an absolute treat

p.s has so far never suffered the dreaded lice attack from nursery, despite the usual/expected infestations.

KatyMac Sat 22-Jan-11 12:45:00

The separating into curls is not going well

mammya Sat 22-Jan-11 19:54:20

Welcome KnackeredOne! Lucky you for not having had to deal with lice, I can tell you with mad curly hair it's a nightmare! You can forget about combing them out, unless you want to spend your whole time doing it... Just in case your dd catches them, I swear by Hedrin.

KatyMac, what's the problem with the separating into curl? That's the bit that's worrying me the most with the tightly curly method (haven't tried it yet)

KatyMac Sat 22-Jan-11 23:56:36

So much hair she has about 50 fat sausages; I don't think that was the idea hmm

KatyMac Sun 23-Jan-11 10:19:03

Total total disaster

Her hair is crispy, solid and as dry as a bone

<sigh>

KatyMac Sun 23-Jan-11 10:38:45

Actually it's not too bad I mean it looks like a bad afro wig but there are parts which are quite smooth, but because it's been in sausage curls it's all over the place

Major re-think

mammya Sun 23-Jan-11 14:45:04

Oh dear that doesn't sound too good. Which conditioner did you use? Maybe a different one would work better? How about putting some hair butter after the combing conditioner?

maypole1 Sun 23-Jan-11 19:21:09

I am black British oh is white Irish

I use baby shampoo and was dd hair once a week

While hair is semi wet use pretty and silky spray comb hair our with wide tooth comb then use Dark and lovely beautiful beginnings and then style

I find unless the child has very long hair a pony tale is not really a good look as you can see their nappy knots

Go for 4 bunches or six then plait to the end with a bobble


I really hate seeing children especially mixed children with their hair done done especially when the parents hair is done , last week in asda I saw a little girl with dry nappy knots and 3 large dreadlocks sticking out she looked awful it was very sad not sure if she didn't know how to manage the hair or had just not even tried .

Even though it is sometimes hard I do believe its our duty to look after their hair and skin after all it comes with what relationships we have chosen to have.

KatyMac Sun 23-Jan-11 20:29:37

Mammya - Washing conditioner Original source, combing conditioner=miracle moist (Aussie)

We bought some herbal essences, 2 different ones to try

DH is using the Pro-line oil moisturising conditioner; which isn't ideal but will calm it down.

Maypole I think that is a little harsh; you can see from my profile that my DD's hair is beautiful and in lovely condition. I am just trying to improve the way she can care for it by herself.

mammya Sun 23-Jan-11 22:33:17

KatyMac you DD is gorgeous! smile And yes, her hair looks very similar to my DD's hair.

KatyMac Sun 23-Jan-11 22:45:19

Thanks - I certainly think so

It's just so sad that it is beautiful fat curls when wet & frizz when dry

The OMC helps but it is very artificial & DD struggles to do it herself & at 13 wants to do her own hair

mammya Mon 24-Jan-11 10:30:37

Sorry, what's OMC?

Yes the dry frizz is dreadful. I have found that hair butters help to an extent if you don't mind the hair being quite greasy, but you need to put sooo much that it is not really economically viable!

My DD is nearly 10 and nowhere near ready to look after her own hair, and hasn't shown any desire to do so either (I wish)! I have to say that most of the time I keep it in plaits as I don't have time to do all the combing to keep it looking good if not. Which is a bit sad really.

KatyMac Mon 24-Jan-11 10:52:14

Pro-line oil moisturising conditioner.....sorry blush

It's hard because at that age I had been doing my hair for years & DD is very independent

If I could just keep it from being dry <sigh>

mammya Mon 24-Jan-11 11:09:23

What I have started doing is an oil rinse, and that seems to help a bit. What that involves is applying a liberal amount of oil (olive oil will do, or coconut oil, jojoba oil, whatever hair-frienly oil you've got) to the hair after you've rinsed off the shampoo, letting it sit on the hair for a few minutes, then rinsing off with really hot water followed by cooler water, then carrying on as usual with the conditioner.

I've also read some really good reviews of the Anita Grant Rassoul deep conditioner, but I haven't tried it on my DD's hair.

franch Mon 24-Jan-11 12:52:19

KM, so sorry you're having trouble - altho your beautiful DD's hair looks gorgeous in the photos. It's exactly like my DD2's so I wonder what's going wrong. If you can be bothered, can you talk me through exactly what you've been doing and at what point the hair starts to look frizzy?

maypole "I find unless the child has very long hair a pony tale is not really a good look as you can see their nappy knots"
My DD2 has collar-length, tightly-curled hair and often wears bunches or a ponytail. No knots

KatyMac Mon 24-Jan-11 13:12:27

I used to wash with shampoo, condition, rinse then use Pro-line oil moisturising conditioner to condition her scalp, put into twists and leave; she wears a head scarf at night & midweek we reapply the pro-line.

Now we wash with Teatree & Mint original source conditioner and have tried various other bits, but most recently we used the aussie conditioner as a combing conditioner

Either way the night is the worst & she wakes up a bit frizzy which she brushes (either using an aussie leave-in, or a garnier one, or nothing) & it goes very frizzy

I am concerned at all the different "types" of stuff on her hair & the fact that it is frizzy less than a day later than washing (if that makes sense - I mean oiling takes an hour or more & really can't be done daily)

Is that enough or do you need more?

franch Mon 24-Jan-11 19:44:36

OK, well looking at that I'd say teatree and mint are not good ingredients for dry hair. They'd be great on mine (gets lank after 24 hours) but I'd avoid them on hers.

I use just 2 products on the DDs' hair: a shampoo and Herbal Essences conditioner which I use for both rinsing and combing.

I'd NEVER brush their hair when it's dry - or style it in any way. That way serious frizz lies.

I also never let them sleep with their hair loose - even in a headscarf.

Does she want to wear it loose every day?

With the curl defining, how did she end up with those fat sausages ? Did you separate and smooth out very thin sections as in this picture?

I style my DDs' hair for 10 mins every other day; they rarely wear it loose, but if they do, I tie it up before bed to minimise tangling. This is what I do when it's looking fluffy:

1. untie/unplait
2. spray liberally with water/olive oil mix
3. smother with conditioner
4. comb out tangles with wide-tooth comb
5. use bristle brush to smooth into bunches/plaits/ponytail/whatever.

Sorry I am a bit evangelical about all this as it's been arrived at through trial and error and, having now got it right, I get endless compliments and requests for advice from mums of both black and mixed-race girls. I feel so strongly about our gorgeous girls feeling good about their beautiful locks! Hope we can help your lovely DD. x

franch Mon 24-Jan-11 19:47:31

PS: Probably stating the obvious but also never allow a hairdryer anywhere near her!

KatyMac Mon 24-Jan-11 20:01:37

DD generally has her hair in either a topknot or bunches under the scarf

I bought 2 herbal essences - seductively straight & hello hydration

She hardly ever wears it loose just competitions and parties; mainly in a topknot

No hair-dryers or straighteners or anything....ever!!

The no shampoo is so much better for DD's than before (esp if you compare like for like so shampoo/conditioner/OMC vs conditioner/omc; the second is so much softer and less crunchy)

The fat sausages were DD & DH I think hmm

KnackeredOne Mon 24-Jan-11 21:03:13

Hello there, and thank you for the welcome.

Have to say I am completely lost as to all shortcuts you use. DD?... dear daughter?

Anyway, KatyMac - I have exactly the same hair as your daughter in it's natural state. She's gorgeous by the way. Sadly for about 8 years I've been texturising (now in process of breaking the habit) - Please NEVER let your daughter anywhere near chemical treatments if you can - certainly until she leaves home at least!

What I wanted to say was that I remember my Mum forever telling me to let my hair loose when not at school, to allow it to relax into it's natural shape - never listened - always in a tight bun!

But what she did do was steam treat it for me. She had a steamer of her own (she's mixed as well) and swore by weekly treatments - just with extra virgin olive oil I remember.

Anyway, many years later I've gone back to steam treatments. I've got a bog standard upright hairdryer (proper steamer too expensive) at home (justified it in terms of the same cost as a nice pair of boots and cheaper than a handbag! wink )

1. I wash my hair with a good clarifier to remove buildup - we use so many products - need to cleanse the hair thoroughly.

2. Gently rub through some of the oil mix I describe earlier that I use on my daughters hair.

3. Follow this with a deep treatment of some sort - you don't need to do this with your daughter if you don't want to.

4. Plastic cap, under the drier on medium heat for 20 - 30 mins. If you haven't got an upright dryer - use your normal handheld over the plastic cap just to warm up the oil and get it to start working on conditioning the shaft. You know that coconut oil is one the few oils to penetrate the hairshaft - sucking eggs? - sorry!

5. Either leave on while at home and potter, or rinse off follow up with conditioner. Style as usual.

6. Do this once a week and after a few treatments you'll start to notice hair gets stronger and is in great condition, and so can take more products, manipulation etc.

7. I now do this as a rule - doesn't matter what condition your hair is in - mixed hair needs to be CONDITIONED, CONDITIONED and CONDITIONED - lots of moisture!

KatyMac Mon 24-Jan-11 21:09:47

acronyms are here

DD=Dear/darling daughter

mammya Mon 24-Jan-11 21:13:59

Franch, when you say "I style my DDs' hair for 10 mins every other day;", what do you mean exactly?

My DD always gets little frizzy curls around her forehead. No amound of conditioning seems to make any difference to these. Any suggestions?

KnackeredOne, that is a good tip, thanks.

mammya Tue 25-Jan-11 23:06:21

So I have done the tightly curly method on DD's hair today as she had her swimming lesson so her hair needed washing.

I added an oil rinse between the co-wash and the rinsing conditioner. She had her hair in little plaits so I washed the hair while it was still in plaits and undid them after I applied the rinsing conditioner. I find that way they are easier to undo, and the hair gets much less tangled.

So the combing didn't take very long, but boy, the smoothing the clumps thing, that took aaaaages because the clumps are so small. It was worth it though, her hair looked lovely, she was very pleased. smile

We couldn't wait for it to dry naturally unfortunately as it was getting late, so I sectioned the hair in four parts that I loosely plaited, tucked the ends in the plaits and she went to bed with her satin nightcap on.

We'll see what it's like in the morning!

mammya Tue 25-Jan-11 23:06:47

Too many "so"s in that post!

mammya Wed 26-Jan-11 10:14:03

Looks like I am talking to myself here...

Anyway, in the hope you'll see this Franch,
this morning my dd's hair still looked lovely when we took out the plaits, but it wasn't dry, it still felt quite wet. Is that normal with this method?

At least it wasn't crunchy or frizzy, which has to be a good thing.

franch Wed 26-Jan-11 21:30:11

Hi mammya, you're not alone

<<when you say "I style my DDs' hair for 10 mins every other day;", what do you mean exactly?>>
The styling is described under that sentence in the post above (5 steps: untie/unplait, etc.).

<<My DD always gets little frizzy curls around her forehead.>>
The teenage mixed-race DD of a friend of mine affectionately calls this "angel hair"
This disappears when I smooth my DDs' (wet, full-of-conditioner) hair back into bunches/ponytail/plaits with a bristle brush, but reappears overnight or even by the end of the day. On Day 2, I cover the frizz with a hairband. On Day 3, I re-style it.

<<this morning my dd's hair still looked lovely when we took out the plaits, but it wasn't dry, it still felt quite wet. Is that normal with this method?>>
Yep, that happens - it's absolutely fine.

franch Wed 26-Jan-11 21:31:10

KM: how are you getting on?

franch Wed 26-Jan-11 22:19:17

PS mammya I can't remember if you already do this but a headscarf/wide hairband at night also helps with the angel hair halo

Oh - and 'smoothing the clumps' - it gets faster. Took me ages at first - now I do it 2 sections at a time (one in each hand) and it's really quick. If I'm in a hurry I concentrate on the top layer. Same with anything - gets automatic with practice.

mammya Thu 27-Jan-11 07:53:53

Thanks Franch, that is helpful. smile

We tried a headscarf last night, for a change, but in the morning it was gone! So I am not sure how useful that is...

Hair still looking good this morning smile, she wore it loose yesterday (but complained of "triangle hair"!) and last night I wet it and detangled it (it wasn't too bad, but started to look a bit fluffy in places) and put the hair in plaits.

I am amazed that your mid-week restyling takes only 10 minutes Franch! For me just detangling and plaiting takes about half an hour.

franch Thu 27-Jan-11 12:44:51

Sounds like progress mammya

As I said, I've got a lot faster with the styling and I'm not always all that thorough with the detangling - depends how much time we have. The water/olive oil spray and the conditioner help a lot, and I detangle with my fingers before I start with the comb. The brush does the rest; I just got a new natural bristle one (wooden) from Boots which seems even better than the usual Denman.

mammya Thu 27-Jan-11 14:32:58

I bought a Denman a while ago and it broke while I was brushing dd's hair, it's so thick!

I've got a Tangle Teezer (or however it's spelled!) and it's OK, although not as good as advertised: it doesn't go through the whole thickness of the hair as the bristles are quite short, and is definetely not pain-free for dd (works for me though, but then my hair is very straight). I've got a little wooden bristle brush that I've never tried it on dd's hair, but I will, now that you mention it!

franch Thu 27-Jan-11 14:58:40

Yes our Denmans don't last long at all! The Tangle Teezer was no good for us either.

Just make sure her hair's wet and oily and full of conditioner, with the worst knots de-tangled, when you use the brush.

KatyMac Sat 29-Jan-11 20:02:18

Hair wash day tomorrow

We are going with:
1st Condition to wash
2nd Conditioner to leave in
2nd conditioner mixed with water to titivate every second day

Will that work do you think?

KatyMac Sun 30-Jan-11 15:43:07

Not going well

DD is so frustrated

franch Sun 30-Jan-11 16:12:05

What's going wrong KM?

Your washing plan sounds fine; for titivation I'd recommend water + olive oil spray then a huge blob of conditioner.

franch Sun 30-Jan-11 16:13:37

PS Make sure the hair's really wet, and full of conditioner. Even after washing, if their hair has dripped a bit, I still spray it with the water/olive oil mix.

KatyMac Sun 30-Jan-11 16:20:52

I think it's the styling post washing

Smalline Sun 30-Jan-11 20:12:25

Hello, I just wanted to say that I have found this thread to be a great help. I am mixed race, (white & afro caribbean) DH is afro caribbean. Today for the first time, I felt I was able to manage my DD hair, DD is 8 by the way. I washed DD hair with conditioner instead of shampoo, I then conditioned it and combed it through with Herbal Essence's hello hydration conditioner and styled it into little twists, it is looking absolutely fantastic and I can't stop looking at itsmile, DD is very happy with her hair.

The trouble I had before was after shampooing her hair, it would get matted and I would struggle to get the comb or brush through her hair, it was probably because her hair was nearly dry, now I know to dampen her hair and to use some conditioner, part of her hair did get matted but what I did was to gently separate the hair, I was then able to comb it through without too much fuss from DD.

I truly feel now that there is light at the end of the tunnel as far as DD hair is concerned, many thankssmile.

KatyMac Sun 30-Jan-11 20:54:30

So pleased for you Smalline, my breakthroughs came bit at a time; but you must be so proud with your success for your DD & her hair

franch Mon 31-Jan-11 09:18:23

That's great news Smalline

KM, if you explain in detail what's going wrong I'll try again to help!

KatyMac Mon 31-Jan-11 13:21:21

It's very clumpy, she doesn't have the patience to separate it out

It ended up in fat curls again

KnackeredOne Tue 01-Feb-11 05:28:03

Hello,

Could I just say that the 'Cowash' me