Albanian/Kosovan partners!!!(20 Posts)
Looking at start thread, I could do with some help in finding a name for our expected boy. We already have 1 boy and it took 9 months to get his name and my husband was so proud that I chose a kosovan/Albanian name. I would like another but worry that they are too unusual (my name is unusually and I hated being different as a kid).
Feeling very lucky that the women in my husbands family have been very welcoming of me and my husband looks after my son part time which includes nappy changing. He speaks kosovan all the time and I speak English and his first word was Hajde too... Followed by Drite.
Please any name suggestions would be appreciated otherwise I will have to go for Beba Djal ...
Hi Ladies I have been married for 23 years to a Kosovan and we have five girls, my pearls of wisdom are:
1. Even if your own language skills are lacking get your hubby to speak Albanian, your kids will cope and become fluent.
2. Get him to help you right from the beginning otherwise you will literally be left doing everything.
3. Unfortunately some people will always see you as an outsider.
4. There will be many occasions when you will be left sitting alone with rooms full of people you will not interact with.
5. Observe how how your mother-in-law is treated, respected or valued and know this will be your future no matter how young and modern you think your hubby is.
6. Know the power of family members that can undermine your marriage.
7. The most important thing is that you support each other for inter-racial marriages are fraught with cultural difficulties but with love, respect and understanding you will have a loving and happy family. Albanians are all about the family.
hi im married to kosvan man aswell,... sometimes when i cant make the pastry i just buy spring rolls wrap and put spinach, feta cheese that i sauteed in onions and butter and deep fried the springs wrong stuffed with that inside . its really mint u must try it ur husband will like it
Thought I would resurrect this thread just to see if any of you are still around!
I have been with my Kosovan DH for 21 years now. We have 4 DC aged 18, 13, 13, and 4, none except DS3 have Kosovan names which is not really 'forrin' sounding iukwim!. We gave DS3 his paternal grandfather's name just because we'd run out of names beginning with [x] and I liked the name although it is seen as extremely old fashioned in Kosovo.
DD used to be bilingual until she started school mainly because DH's parents lived with us while the war was ongoing (I had to fight to get them out of the refugee camp and over here) and they looked after her while we both worked. They had a very strong bond with her so it was a shame that they (FIL!) made the decision to go back.
DH has never really spoken to the younger DC in Kosovan and they only hear it on the rare occasions that we see his siblings here in the UK and when we take our annual summer trip to Kosovo to see his parents. His parents are lovely and despite his father threatening to cut him off when he first got with me!, they came over for our wedding (a register office ceremony with a church blessing and a horse and carriage affair) and accepted me pretty quickly. The same cannot be said for his siblings however, especially his 4 sisters and sister in law who have never accepted me, their loss .
DH is increasingly reverting to 'type' as he is getting older although he has never been anywhere near as chauvinistic as his fathers/brothers and always mucked in around the house/with childcare to the horror of his relatives. I have needed to give him a boot up the backside just recently due to his thinking that now the DC are older and can do chores, he shouldn't have to do anything.
I have not served 'chai' since the early days of us living together and the novelty of the tiny 'cute' glasses wore off. I won't serve it to guests when we are at his parents either although his mother used to be delighted when I did - her English daughter in law serving her guests! I used to make passoul just because I am a vegetarian and like beans. Never, ever made flia or pita. Really, really can't see the point . DH is very much a roast dinner/spag bol, builder's tea kind of guy anyway and gets indigestion problems when we go over there now.
We have done the trip over there every year for the last 7 years save for the 1st 2 after DC4 was born. We drive (in a people carrier) and tbh I love the trip through Slovenia/Croatia, not so much the time spent there as DH goes into ignorant mode but we eat out a lot (some wonderful restaurants there) and I will drive to the shops/Pristina if I want to go out. We tend to stop in Ulcinj or Croatia for a beach holiday on the way back which the kids have lots of sunny memories of. At the time we are there, I am usually really stressed and swear we will never go again but when I look back, we have had some really good times cooped up together in the car! We have flown over a few times as well when DD and the twins were younger. DH has also taken DD on her own a few times.
It would be very good to hear from anyone else in a similar situation!
Sorry for resurrecting a zombie thread, I wish I'd seen it earlier!
Kosovan DH and I have no dcs yet but we plan on raising any we do have bilingual.
After spending nearly 7 months in Kosovo I gained a new appreciation for DH, he's very "western European" IYSWIM and does much more than half of all the houswork etc
Am a tad bit late to the thread but was browsing and came across it!! I have been with my Kosovan partner for 12 years now.... we have 3 kids.... dd is 9 her name is Floriana... ds is 4 his name is Albi..... n ds is 3 his name is Frankie (pretty english this one lol).
Unfortunately not been over to see his family yet as wen oh first come over he was an asylum seeker so had no way of going back... well fast forward a good few years n hia finally been given idefinite leave to remain.... so he can now applyto become a british citizen and get passport etc.... altho so damb expensive.... fingers crossed we get over there soon lol
Kids def know alot more than me language wise... but im getting better espesh wen I talk to his family on skype :-)
If anyone can give me some good recipes to dish up would be much appreciated as he is so use to english grub he dont ever ask for anything for himself so would like to surprise him lol
I used the filo pastry in a purple pack. It works ok, you have to try and keep the top damp tough otherwise it gose to crispy, i put a tea towel over it at the end to steam it. after it comes out f the oven obvs!
My dh family are great the women are lovely even though i suspect they think i am a bit odd! They try to teach me things but i suppose that is what the do for sisters in laws anyway. Other women tend to be a bit standoffish. Do you partners have family over here? My dh is on his own so the only time i see anyone is when we go over.
Housework wise he has got better since the kids arrived although i do catch him muttering about womans work! He even changes nappies which i never thought i would see. Its very different over there though, my sil do all the house work but there are 3 in one house where as i am on my own and when not on maternity leave work full time.
How old is your baby mrs pear? Dd you get mrried over here or in albania?
Haha, MrsPear, I don't wear much make up and the SIL's are always trying to dress me up!! Nooooo! Stay away!
Yeah I do think the women are quite bitchy, big stereotype I know! sorry!
Yeah, I know what you mean about helping a lot, I usually don't mind, but sometimes you kinda have to draw a line and say ok! OH says if you live in London they think you're loaded.
Yeah - OH does SO much around the house (although he is a clean freak) and his family just don't believe us when we say he does a lot at home! When we stay or they stay they think he's just doing it in front of them!!
I can understand more than what I actually speak! I get so shy [blush' I don't know why because I really am not a shy person! I think it's cos they all look at you expectantly!
I can do all the basics and pick out words from conversations. They talk too fast though
Are you teaching your little ones to speak Albanian?
MrsPear madly waves! Hello!
I have been married for over 5 years to my husband; he is from North Albania.
We have two little boys (3 and newborn) both of whom have very unusual Albanian names (they are rare even in Albania!). I try with language but as i am usually laughed at i normally just sit and listen In my experience the men seem friendlier whereas the women tend to see me as an amusing alien (e.g mrspear is so strange she goes visiting in trousers and no make up[!] ) His family are also when they see dh helping e.g. with the children, housework and when people visit. Which annoys him more than me BUT it can be hard there is allot of pressure to help with money and to give random relatives a roof over their head (last night there was me, dh, 2 boys, BIL and a cousin in a 2 bed flat!) Try (and they do) as much as family do they really don't get how things are so different here.
Sorry rambling now
princess, what shop bought pastry do you use? I used one once and it came out awful!!
If I make pita alongside someone it comes out great, when I'm alone it's OK but I always make the pastry too thick
We have lots of tomato based stews, use beef sometimes too.
Suxhuk is their sausage. "Sujuk" to us lol.
How do you do the tave kosi? I'm going to give it a go tomorrow, I was going to use that recipe on that website above, if anyone's got any tips send them over!
Haha, yep, I go in the kitchen and if there's crumbs and a yoghurt lid on the side I know what he's been upto!
I like Arber. Haha, I had my shortlist before 20 weeks, then picked her name once I knew it was a girl! Eager.
Haven't been yet. We're meant to be going this summer though. Everyone goes for about a month, but we're going on a separate holiday too so don't think we will do a month!
The yoghurt and lamb is brilliant, tave kosi. We make it fairly often. I love pita or burek, with spinach and feta. I used to make my own pastry but the 5 month old doesnt have the patience for me to roll it so the last few times it has been shop bought, not too bad. We make bean soup with lamb or mince and the tomato based stew with lamb. I used to make ravanee (sp) but havent made it for ages (yoghurt cake). Yes to the bread and yoghurt. My dh is happywith a bwl of bread and yoghurt for a meal.
What's suxhuk? I havent heard of that
I think i have that book too, the brown cover? Itsa bit strange!
We have adam which is in both languages, and a variation on arber for the little ones. I think the girls names are beautiful. I love elira. We couldnt decide for the little ne, he had no name for 5 days!
Do you go to albania/kosovo? I havent been for three years because of work and babies but we are going in may to introduce the little one.
This website has got some recipes - I still haven't tried the baked lamb and yogurt but really want to soon, my OH loves it.
We have suxhuk and egg a lot for breakfast!!!
Bean soups, my OH cooks sometimes with the "oh my mum used to make this" but I think some things he makes up as he goes along
Do yours eat a lot of yoghurt and bread? My partner eats it with EVERYTHING. We go to my mums for a roast and he'll have about half a loaf of bread with it
Well, I said to my OH in the beginning, I don't mind picking a Kosovan name but only if I like it!!! I think he was quite happy that I said myself we can have a Kosovan name, I think he assumed I would pick an English name.
We picked Elira which I think works really well here too
What about you?
Oh and by the way did you call your children Albanian / Kosovan names or did you go for an English name? Choosing a name was a big trial for us!
We found a name which worked in both languages thankfully in the end
Have you noticed there is only one Albanian Cookbook! When I was first with DP I ordered it from America! Turns out it is not that authentic?
DP is southern Albanian and the food is very Greek influenced so I do Grape leaves stuffed with rice but not much else. I should try more really, what other recipes do you cook?
Hello princesssugar !
Yep, definitely trials and tribulations in my book lol.
Awww, well the first word DD seemed to say coherently was "hajde" she used to sing it repeatedly; "haj-de, haj-de, haj-de" ! Haven't heard it for a while though. Now it's just gaa's, da's and eh's lol.
What about Albanian food?
I love pita! My first attempt wasn't too bad!! Edible but pastry too thick. I'm getting there ;-)
Lol at trails and tribulations! My dh is albanian and we have 2 ds one aged 3 and one 5 months. The three year old speaks ad understands some words in albanian but im not sure he comprehends that it is 2 different languages!
We have one DD too, she's 11 months.
He is from Kosovo.
Have you been to Albania?
Yeah we're trying to do OPOL too....also play her children's music and shows in Albanian...
I have a DD age 8 months and my partner is Albanian.
My partner is speaking Albanian to her and I am speaking English, hopefully she will be fluent in both.
Is your partner Albanian or Kosovan? My partner is from Southern Albania and we met in London.
Anyone have an Albanian/Kosovan partner?
Couldn't find a thread so thought I'd start one to share the trials and tribulations :-)
Are you teaching your children to speak Albanian?
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