Since me and my DH 1st got together, my FIL used to call me a Paki. When he stopped that after we had a strong word with him, he began on my religion-making comments about how "my lot blow themselves up". He'd also try to imitate our call to prayer and just generally take the piss. I'm a Pakistani Muslim and my DH is White.
Once we were in Nandos and there were 2 girls wearing headscarves sitting near us. He started commenting on how that should be banned like in France and they shouldn't be allowed to wear stuff like that in public. We were in an asian restaurant and a man with his young children was eating with his hands. My FIL started saying loudly (he's not capable of saying anything quietly), that the man was a pig and it was disgusting that he eat with his hands. I explained that I do, and my family do aswell-he insisted that's what pigs do and that it was uncivilised!!! Me and my DH had a go at him and thought that was the end of it.
In the past, whenever he'd said anything to me I would try to ignore it and get upset once he'd gone. My DH assured me that his father did it because he genuinely thought he was being funny. He said that if he says anything to me, retaliate by taking the piss about the fact he's mediterrean-which I did once or twice, although I hated stooping to his level and he still never stopped-it just used to escalate.
Today he came round and we were all winding each other up and there was a bit of harmless banter. Then he started on the fact that "my lot" in Pakistan wear the Burkah which covers all the face but the eyes. He started gesturing with his hands and pretending he was wearing one. I told him he was a racist and he realised I was being serious. He then stormed off-told my DH never to call him again and said if you can't take insults back, don't give them. I told him that I'd not said anything personal against him and definately not anything racist. He said he'd never come back to our house and I said (as I showed him the door and slammed it after him) that people who make racist or ignorant comments aren't welcome!!!
My DH still insists that his dad just has a poor sense of humour but supports me enough to say that without an apology to us, he'll not see our dd as he won't allow racist comments being said around us. Have I over-reacted? The guy is actually quite nice sometimes but seems to (just when things are going well) end up saying something racist, or comment on the fact that I look pregnant again (which he knows pisses me off). I spoke to my MIL about it before and she said she'd have a word with him-not sure if she did.
What would you have done? Have I overreacted? Should I be feeling guilty about this, because I do
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IS MY FIL RACIST OR SHOULD I GET A SENSE OF HUMOUR?
76 replies
whatsthestoryinbalamorytoday · 26/03/2006 19:57
OP posts:
batters ·
26/03/2006 20:21
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