DS Friend's Racist Parents

(10 Posts)
Hoti Fri 15-Jun-12 22:26:51

I am just after advice because I am not sure what to do. My DS is mixed race (Bengali/white) and his best friend at school is white , which isn't relevant apart from in the context of this thread. The friends parents are racist (flags up, BNP stickers in window at election time) but they invite my DS to their house and our sons play together at school. Should I let my DS go over to their house? I am more than happy for the boy to visit us but I unhappy that he should visit a racist family (although they are good towards my DS). So far I have made excuses as to why my DS cannot play at their house but what should I do, tell the truth, lie, or let him visit? TIA.

Hebiegebies Sat 16-Jun-12 07:51:25

Really hard decision, how old is DS?

Tryharder Mon 18-Jun-12 15:50:06

Next time your son is invited, say you would love him to visit but you are a little concerned because you saw BNP posters in their window etc. I think a lot of people sympathise with the BNP on a purely Daily Mail type way- a sort of general dislike/distrust of immigrants without realising how this impacts towards people they actually know. I would be very interested to hear what they had to say, actually.

misslala1987 Tue 19-Jun-12 11:54:20

i wouldnt let my kids anywhere near a racists house. racists are irrational people full of hate. never trust a racist. yea you could let them know that the signs etc make you conerned and you might hear the same bull they always say 'im not racist, im just against immagrants' or 'im not racist, ive got loads of colored friends' or another famous one 'im not racist, im from canning town' bnp, national front, edl, are all full of crazy, dilusional racists. your childs safety comes first, who cares if you offend others by refusing to let your children round their house

misslala1987 Tue 19-Jun-12 11:58:00

and if you do decide against letting your child go there, yes you should let your child know why because there are plenty racists out there some quiet ones and some more loud about their opinions. us mothers of mixed children need to gradually prepare them for whats out there because its really no joke

Frontpaw Tue 19-Jun-12 11:58:53

Are they racist of just stupid? There were a lot of clots in London at the last lot of elections with the 'Ahm jest votin thar BNP cos we need to look after ar-selfs, yeh?', they arent against foreigners - jarst the illegals, innit. Sarm of my best mates are immegraaaaants'. Give me strength...

MUM2BLESS Tue 19-Jun-12 19:18:37

I would not want child to visit a house with BNP displayed.

StarryCole Fri 22-Jun-12 20:53:15

I would be very wary.

I would have a good chat with my son (depending on his age) and talk to him openly about prejudices and racism. This will help prepare him for the big bad world and have him aware of situations that may be 'unconfortable'. Also, I would be open to a friendship with your DS's friend - afterall he has shown positive attributes by wanting to be friends with your DS in the first place. It'll be a positive learning process for both boys.

Personally, I couldn't have my children at any person's house who showed such narrow minded politically alliance - without my presence. So see if you could accompany him or suggest a neutral fun place like bowling.

You don't know these people so let's not make assumptions too. They could be knowingly racist and have a good grasp of the BNP political agenda or they could be very ignorant like the majority and haven't a clue. I'd say be wary but don't stand in the way of what might be a good friendship.

Let us know how you get on.

Pendeen Mon 23-Jul-12 14:15:43

"... My DS is mixed race ..."

"... they are good towards my DS ..."

They can't be that racist surely?

MamaMumra Tue 24-Jul-12 00:33:36

So you aren't Bengali I assume? Do they realise your DS is mixed race? If they invite your DS over then they aren't hostile - I wouldn't want to expose my DS to people that are BNP supporters / bigots etc.
Would you leave your son there or would you be there too?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now