Missed miscarriage

(32 Posts)
Wantohope Mon 09-Sep-13 14:26:54

Hi,

First of all I do apologise for the long post, but not sure what to start with so I'll start with the beginning.

We have been trying for a few months and then I had tested positive on my birthday. What a present, it was the best birthday ever! Have felt pretty well, even though I had some tummy cramps first couple of weeks; I have googled it and realised it was probably normal. Then the cramps stopped and breast started to hurt even more and that was a good sign.
However, the last couple of weeks (or maybe even less) I stopped feeling changes in my breast. I mean, they still felt heavy and nipples hurt but nothing as intense as before. Had some moderate cramping again and went to see my GP. He blamed it on gas and sent me on my way. I have tried to press for an ultra sound to check everything was ok, but he said I should wait for the 12 week and if there was a problem they will deal with it then?!
As I self referred to Chelsea & Westminster as soon as I found out about the pregnancy, I gave them a call on Thursday evening saying I had some bad cramping and they diagnosed over the phone an UTI.

Being an extreme worrier even when not pregnant, on Saturday morning I went for a private u/s with Dr Gibb at The Birth Company. As I should have been 7w6d and there was no heart beat, he diagnosed a missed miscarriage and gave me some pills - Misoprostol- (4 to take vaginally) and then 1 orally every 4 hours. I have spent Saturday crying all day and most of Sunday.
I have called C&W on Saturday as I was hoping that they would say it was a mistake ..not sure what I was hoping, I just wanted to hear a second opinion. I have read the measurements and the dr I spoke to said she was sorry but the diagnosis was 90% correct and at 7 weeks there should definitely be a heart beat.
She advised that I should not take the pills until I was seen by someone in the EPAU and told me to call them first thing this morning to get an appointment on the same day. She said they have an aftercare plan and it is better if I have a history with them so in the future they can refer to it if needs be.

I have already called the Early Pregnancy Unit twice today and was advised that their midwife will get back to me. It hasn't happened and I don't know what to do?! I have taken the day off work today as I thought I will need to go in and be seen by the EP unit.
Should I push with another call or give up?
Should I take the pills and sod the NHS? Mind you I can't go private whenever they fail me. I have paid £220 for the us on Saturday and if it was up to the NHS I should have waited another 5 weeks until my ultrasound. Another 5 weeks of dreams and hopes and planning for something that stopped being a while ago.
Does anyone know please, is there any valid reason I shouldn't be taking the pills and wait for the EPAU to asses me?
If I take the pills, how many days should I take off work? I do appreciate this varies from person to person and I can see why the first day I should be at home, but do you think I would need more than that? I have not told work about the pregnancy as it was early days (although I have told family and 2 friends) and I am not sure how to go about calling sick and what to tell them.

Any words of advice would be much appreciated, thank you.

nearlyreadytopop Mon 09-Sep-13 15:32:50

hi want
I think its nhs protocol to give two scans at least a week apart. This is to allow for any variance in dates etc.
If it were me I wouldn't take the tablets until ive had a second scan at the epu.
I was told I had a blighted ovum and to come back the following week if I hadn't started to bleed in the meantime. The next week there was a heartbeat. ds is now 2. I don't want to give you false hope but for me I know I wouldn't settle without another scan.

Rockchick1984 Mon 09-Sep-13 15:39:26

I'm sorry you're going through this. Personally I wouldn't take the pills - 90% chance of them having diagnosed correctly means 10% chance that you have a living baby in there still. Can you go to the EPU and speak to someone face to face? I know that my EPU is mad busy and the midwives can only get back to you once the clinic has finished for the day, so I wouldn't expect a call back quickly.

If you have had a previous missed miscarriage my EPU will offer 2 early scans the next time, however they would need to have seen you for the miscarriage in order to offer this.

I had ERPC (surgical management) for my MMC so not sure about time off work, I would imagine you will need at least a few days off to rest and recover - medical management (the tablets) basically trigger a miscarriage so you will have contraction type pains, bleeding etc. Re sick note reason, either tell them the truth or use the general "gynaecological issues".

PrincessKitKat Mon 09-Sep-13 15:43:04

I would also wait for the second opinion but I can only imagine how you must feel & totally understand the urge to 'get it over with'.

I'd honestly be tempted to go in person to the EPU to try & speak to someone & get a scan or at least a date. It's harder to ignore someone standing I front of them.

So sorry you're going through this OP.

Ruggle Mon 09-Sep-13 15:44:42

Apart from the obvious heartache of thinking that there is no heartbeat, there is no need to rush into taking those pills. You can leave things to happen naturally if you want to. I was 11 weeks when i had a mmc, but the baby had stopped growing around 6 weeks..(though obviously I didn't know that had happened)....so unless you are 100% sure then please wait another week or so, just to be sure!

Ruggle Mon 09-Sep-13 15:51:44

P.S. I was told that at 6/7 weeks it sometimes isn't possible to detect a heartbeat in a scan anyway, so you definitely need to wait another week!
x

Wantohope Mon 09-Sep-13 16:32:28

Ladies,

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply.
Nearlyready - When I got home from the u/s I cried for a while and then something clicked in my mind and I thought to my self "this can't be right" so I started googling like mad and noticed that many women went for the first scan only to be told there was no heart beart and then a week on the bean was there healthy and with a strong beat. So my first reaction after reading this was to call C&W and speak to them. As I was quite distressed they kindly put an actual doctor on the phone who said that it is most likely the diagnosis is correct, she mentioned the 90% and then she also said that if I wanted to be 110% I should go for a second scan. I started to have hope. And then I had doubts: I knew I went to a well known consultant who had not hesitated at all to give me the bad news, there was no mention of a re-scan and I thought to myself that the measurements must have helped him make the diagnosis so categorical.

Rockchick I think you are right, I have called them 3 times now (I am going mental in here waiting) and last time I have called she said she was disappointed to see that I would think they have forgotten about me but the mw has been seeing patients all day and promised they will call me by the end of the day. Fingers crossed.
Re work, if I tell them the truth then they will know I have been trying and am worried that would stay in the way of a future promotion and study support. I will probably blame it on gynecological issues and pray there won't be other questions to follow.

Princess I did think about popping in and if they will not call me back as promised I'll be there first thing tomorrow morning.

Ruggle I am the most squeamish person ever, part of not trying until a few months ago is because I was scared (plus the financial worries that probably most of us have). I wouldn't want to step into a hospital unless I really had to and would very happily let nature take its course. My only worry is this happening at work blush

Now, I don't know if this would mean anything to any of you, but these are the measurements, just in case (?!):
Gestational sac:present, size 11mmx18mmx24mm; yolk sac:present; amniotic sac:present; embryo present; fetal action absent.
Gestational sac mean 17.7mm, volume 2.5ml, CRL 2.4 mm

ichoochoochooseyou Mon 09-Sep-13 16:38:54

An EPU wouldn't diagnose a MMC on just one scan with a mean sac diameter under 25mm or CRL under 7mm- there should always be a second scan to confirm it around 10 days/ 2 weeks later.
Good luck

Wantohope Mon 09-Sep-13 16:41:10

I must admit I do not feel pregnant anymore, partly probably because I was told so and partly because I no longer feel bloated, I stopped peeing often about 10 days ago and my breasts (although still hurt a bit) are going back to sleep sad So I am not keeping my hopes up sad

DownstairsMixUp Mon 09-Sep-13 16:47:04

I'm sorry to hear this, if it puts your mind at rest, there is certainly nothing stopping you waiting for a second scan. I recently found out i m/c to, sadly the second scan did show it was not viable but i am kind of glad i waited, even though deep down i knew there was no hope for me. Good luck.

Wantohope Mon 09-Sep-13 16:58:36

They have just called me back. She was very nice and explained to me this can not be classed as a missed miscarriage as it is too small to see a heartbeat and said definitely do not take the pills yet and wait for a second scan next Monday.
She said it doesn't mean it is all ok but it also doesn't mean that it is not.
I was coming to terms with it and now I am all confused and don't know what to believe. I mean I am trying not to believe anything so it won't hurt again.

Wantohope Mon 09-Sep-13 17:01:52

ichoochoochooseyou That is exactly what she said. This will be the longest week.
Thank you.

Wantohope Mon 09-Sep-13 17:07:53

DownstairsMixUp I am trully sorry for you and me and for anyone else that knows what this pain feels like sad
I really don't know if my body is trying to say anything to me, I am not sure. I know that I have cramps. But they've been there from the beginning.

katatonic Mon 09-Sep-13 18:43:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nearlyreadytopop Mon 09-Sep-13 19:51:40

want the waiting is truely rubbish. Since ds I have had 3 mc and its the waiting and lack of control that sends me crazy. I hope this week flies in for youbrew

Bakingtins Tue 10-Sep-13 12:47:29

wantohope just sending some flowers to say thinking of you. The limbo is awful. The others are right, you need to wait for the second scan on the small chance that the pregnancy is still developing.
EPU will only diagnose a MMC if the baby is bigger than the 7 weeks stage and still has no HB, or if there is less than 1mm a day growth from the 6 week mark. Your CRL measurement is v small - that could be a baby that stopped developing early on, but it could also be a baby too small to have developed a HB as yet.
I've found it best to prepare for the worst news in these circumstances, perhaps you'll let us do the hoping for the best on your behalf?

Wantohope Tue 10-Sep-13 13:44:55

You are so so kind and lovely, thank you so much.

I know, I am not going to hope, I can't afford this. It broke me into pieces and don't want to go to that place again.

Thank you all thanks

DownstairsMixUp Tue 10-Sep-13 21:51:04

Hope you are OK op. I just had my erpc if you need to chat you can pm x

nearlyreadytopop Sun 15-Sep-13 19:18:12

hi want how are you?
is tomorrow scan day? just wanted to say goodluck

Pawprint Mon 16-Sep-13 16:18:53

Good luck - hope you are okay. The limbo period is just horrible sad

Wantohope Mon 16-Sep-13 18:03:21

Hello ladies,

Just to update you all, I had my scan today and it confirmed the previous diagnosis, there was no heart beat and it is a missed miscarriage.
I have decided to take the misoprostol today and took the afternoon and next few days off work. I got home and started getting prepared before taking the medication (bought nurofen express and lots of very thick tampons, baby wipes, etc).
Interestingly, I went to the toilet and the bleeding started without me taking the pills. It's like my mind needed the confirmation to let go or it was just a coincidence.
I've called the EPAU to ask if I should still take the misoprostol now the bleeding has started and she wanted to know how much blood there was. I've told her not much, like 10 drops when wiping. She said definitely take it as otherwise the bleeding could go on for ages. I have done so and now I am waiting, scared.
She also said more than 4 pads an hour, don't waste any time, go to A&E.

Thank you all for your best wishes, it just wasn't meant to be sad

Rockchick1984 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:13:46

I'm so sorry Want - I had a missed miscarriage earlier this year (in April) and its an awful experience. Make sure to allow yourself time to grieve if you need to. For me this wasn't until I had got over the physical side of things, however I know others need to do it right away.

I don't know if its something you will be thinking about yet, so ignore this paragraph if necessary, however wanted to mention TTC again after your miscarriage. I miscarried in April, had a period end of may and fell pregnant that month, currently 16 weeks. Apparently you are more fertile for the 6 months following a miscarriage, and you are not more at risk of a future miscarriage unless there was an underlying reason for this one.

I wish you all the best, and hope the physical side of things is over soon for you thanks

eurochick Mon 16-Sep-13 18:16:26

OP, I'm sorry to hear that the mmc has been confirmed.

On a practical note, you are advised not to use tampons when mcing, because of the infection risk.

nearlyreadytopop Mon 16-Sep-13 18:42:34

oh want I'm so sorry.
there is a very good thread on here with lots of advice on the practicallys of mc.
thanks wine

Bakingtins Mon 16-Sep-13 20:08:45

I'm sorry Want hope you are coping ok.

katatonic Mon 16-Sep-13 22:48:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Noggie Mon 16-Sep-13 23:01:36

So sorry to hear if your loss. I had a missed miscarriage so remember a little of what you are going through. Be kind to yourself and rest x x x

Wantohope Tue 17-Sep-13 04:39:35

rockchick Yes, we will be trying very soon, my husband is rubbing his hands already smile I just wish I am as lucky. This horrible experience will hang above my head forever. I just can't imagine how on earth I am going to go through a pregnancy knowing miscarriage is so real and can hit out of nowhere. I had no idea it could happen to me; I had no idea it was so common. I could see so many things going wrong, but never ever thought of miscarriage. I didn't even know there was such a thing as a missed miscarriage.
It is very nice of you to pop in on this section of the forum, it helps me and hopefully others in my situation to put things into perspective and think positively for the future thanks
eurochick it's my English, I still get some words wrong blush, hopefully not too many. I am not sure how they're called, pads?! In my country we call everything a tampon. Lol, I don't mean everything, but either absorbant pads or the tampons, they are all tampons, that's why I always get it wrong in English.
nearlyreadytopop Yes, thank you. Only recently someone kindly bumped that thread for me and I've read as much as I could, when I started to get scared I had to stop

The above was written last night just but the cramps started before I hit the post message button.

I am ok, thank you all. I have just been through the most unimaginable pain. I never would have thought that my body can withstand so much pain. I will come back with a detailed account once I feel better, I just have a quick question for you ladies:
when the horrible pains started I went and sat in a hot tub bath because I just could not...God, it really hurt bad. I sat there for a couple of hours before the bleeding has started and then a thought occurred to me: Why no one has mentioned sitting in a bath tub if it helps with the pain? So I got worried and googled it and apparently it is not advised as it can lead to infection?! shock I quickly pulled the plug and drained the water and just sat with the shower running over me but now I am worried I might get an infection sad Do you know anything about this? I feel like a complete idiot. But then again some women give birth in water, do they risk infection then?! I am confused

Bakingtins Tue 17-Sep-13 07:37:08

Don't worry about it - as you said, women are encouraged to soak in the bath in labour and give birth in the water. The water is clean. You're not supposed to swim, but that's a bit different.
How are you feeling now? Take some painkillers and if you are struggling then contact the hospital and ask for something stronger to be prescribed. I found medical management to be painful and it was only afterwards they said I should have either gone in or asked for prescribed pain relief angry
thinking of you.

nearlyreadytopop Tue 17-Sep-13 09:29:43

want big hug. I found it very very painful as well, nothing like the heavy period the nurse told me to expecthmm .
just to second what baking said, don't be afraid to go to a&e if u are in a lot of pain.

Wantohope Tue 17-Sep-13 14:38:43

Ladies, thank you for your kind thoughts. I am ok, feeling a bit weak and tired, I have only slept like 4 hours since Yesterday morning. I also feel extremely hungry, all the time shock and almost finished the supplies I had next to me so would have to literally get up and attack the fridge at some point. I would like to sleep but I simply can't, not sure why.

I don't think I mentioned this before, the private ob-gyn that prescribed the medical management pills also gave me a prescription for voltarol. I went to the pharmacy and asked if it had any side effects and she went on to say bla bla all medicines have a side effect, etc but then when I called my GP yesterday he said the stooped prescribing Diclofenac at his practice because of the serious side effects it has been associated with.

I am a bit scared of taking medicines (sometimes I get a rapid heart beat - tachycardia - so I don't drink coffee, coke, anything that could excite my system. I had tests etc and it all came back normal, it is more to do with my nervous system). Anyway, I had to stick with the Nurofen angry It wasn't fun.

The pain is not too bad now, but I have noticed that the most comfortable position is laying on my back. If I turn to either of my sides it hurts. I get the odd sharp pain here and there but that's about it.
I have been brave, and you have been wonderful.

Thank you so much! Big hugs and thanks

GingerPCatt Tue 17-Sep-13 14:47:07

In sorry you're going through this. I had a mmc last month. Someone recommended taking an iron supplement and that helped with my energy levels afterwards. Hope it's over quickly for you and you feel better soon. Take care of yourself.

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