Sad to be joining you all

(59 Posts)
Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Tue 06-Aug-13 16:26:13

Found out today that my baby stopped developing a week ago at 8 weeks and that it no longer has a heart beat.

I've rung the ward to say I've decided on the surgical management option to get things 'over' but at 3:50 apparently the clerk had gone home and no one could make a note of it so I have to call In again tomorrow.

I have had heavy bleeding for a while now but a scan confirmed I've not passed any of the pregnancy.

How will I know if I have?

What am I to expect for the near future other than a lot of tears?

Bakingtins Tue 06-Aug-13 16:40:46

I'm very sorry, soured it is just heart-breaking to hear that news.
You may find this thread and the Miscarriage Association website helpful for more information.
Before the pregnancy sac is passed you would tend to have very heavy bleeding and cramping and pass clots, which can be large, and possibly you might recognise the sac as "tissue" or a "deflated pink-grey balloon" after which the bleeding would tend to settle down to period like proportions. Bleeding can be heavy - the rule of thumb is if you fill a maxi pad in less than an hour or if you feel faint or unwell then seek medical attention.
Hopefully you can get an appointment for an ERPC before you miscarry naturally, if that's your preference.
I'm sure there will be lots of tears - it's better to allow yourself to grieve rather than try to hold it together. We're here to hand hold whenever you need it.

katatonic Tue 06-Aug-13 19:18:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Tue 06-Aug-13 21:42:16

Thank you both.

Those threads are remarkable and a welcome read today as I feel so unprepared for what's to come. I'm all over the place today but everyone in RL has been so amazing and supportive it's made me feel really loved.

I feel so vacant right now.

JBrd Wed 07-Aug-13 09:27:07

Hello, soured, so sorry to find you here as well sad It is heartbreaking when this happens, I don't think that one could crash any harder after being on such an emotional high for the last few weeks.

From my experience, it will be really obvious when you do pass what's remaining of the pregnancy - my last mc happened naturally, and after a few hours of bad cramping, it all came out, and there was no doubt about what it was sad

However, it's different for everyone, unfortunately, this is one of those things where most of the time, all you can do is wait and see.
If you are going for the medical management, at least you know when it's going to happen, and you will be under care all the time. The knowing when and how can actually help a lot, sometimes it is a relief to know that at least the physical part of it all is over, and you can focus on healing.

You might want to stock up on painkillers and extra-thick sanitary pads. And chocolate.

Take as much time off work as you need to, no point pushing yourself to go back before you feel up for it.

The next few days/weeks will be tough, I'm not going to gloss this over. Apart from the physical side of things, the emotional rollercoaster can be brutal.
But I can promise you, there will be light at the end of the tunnel at one point, it really does get better. Time is your ally here.
Don't push yourself, give yourself plenty of time to rest. Again, everyone is different in dealing with the aftermath. For my first mc, all I wanted to do was to curl up on the sofa and not see anyone. After my second mc, I baked one bread after the other and spent a lot of time with garden work.

Just try and find out what works for you, put yourself first and be kind to yourself.
If you do choose to talk about it with people, you will most likely find that there will be quite a few who have gone through this themselves. I was amazed at how many of 'us' are out there! (Making it sound like some secret club now, but sometimes it feels like that).

Sorry for the mammoth post, I really don't want to sound patronising, sorry if I do!
I'm in limbo, too, at the moment, just waiting waiting waiting. I'm not bleeding at all and have no other symptoms yes, no idea what is going to happen and when. Having another scan next week to check what's going on, they'll probably discuss options with me then.

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Wed 07-Aug-13 10:10:49

Hey jbrd it's crap to be over here, but I think in a way I knew it was inevitable the way the pregnancy was going. Just such a shame so many of us march ladies are in this position sad

My husband has contacted the EPU again today on my behalf, they are going to contact the gynae ward and see when they can book me in but the ERPC will definitely happen this week. At least I can see an end to it and begin to heal from there.

Sounds stupid but I've bought myself this beautiful little cross stitch kit to complete whilst I'm off work with the idea I will put it in a frame with my 7 week scan photo behind it to keep in my bedroom. That's the plan anyway. I need something to distract me I hate doing nothing although I can do nothing.

I hope things get clearer and easier for you in the coming weeks

X

Hi Souredstones, so sorry to see you're here. No advice or anything to add, just wanted to send some hugs. I've gone the medical route as haven't had any bleeding at all, just back from EPAU now and waiting for something to happen.
Thinking of you and jbrd xx

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Wed 07-Aug-13 11:10:39

Hey captaincalamari I sincerely hope you and jbrd and your respective partners are doing ok.

Glad to hear you found the ERPC to be the right route for you. I'm nervous about surgery but know its for the best for my own mental well being

JBrd Wed 07-Aug-13 11:38:08

Hi captaincalamari, sorry to see you here, too. Life is so cruel sad

soured I had an ERPC with my first mc - it was definitely the right choice for me, and I recovered very quickly from it.
Hope the EPU manages to squeeze you in as soon as possible.

I think the cross stich piece sounds lovely - it's the little things like that that will help you taking small steps towards healing. Most people don't understand that this is a very real loss and bereavement, and you have to grieve.
For my first mc, I bought a angel wing charm for my Pandora bracelet, for the second, I planted a new rose in our garden.

Whatever helps us to get through this.

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Wed 07-Aug-13 13:29:17

A ward clerk just called me with my ERPC appointment this Friday. She couldn't answer any of my questions and got herself upset and hung the phone up saying shed get a nurse to ring.

Very angry.

Secretswitch Wed 07-Aug-13 14:54:52

Well, damn,Soured! So sorry this is happening to you! You have every right to be angry and upset. I hope you get all your questions answered by the nurse. I am sending virtual hugs to you and dh.

Bakingtins Wed 07-Aug-13 17:37:30

She was upset ??! It's not rocket science to think you might have questions, is it? I hope a nurse did phone you back and you got the information you needed.

The cross stitch is a lovely idea.

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Wed 07-Aug-13 17:57:29

To be fair she did sound like a school leaver, but yes DH was apoplectic with rage that she rang and not a nurse. She couldn't tell me anything other than to turn up at the unit for 1230.

Thankfully a nurse did call and I feel a lot more reassured by the process and what to expect but I will be having words.

I wonder if its because its the general gynae ward I'm going to whereas I had been dealing with EPU previously?! Either way, you're booking someone in for a surgical procedure in 2 days, the post won't get there in time with the answers so reasons to be that questions will be asked.

Morons.

I just want this week over with. It's been hell to say the least

Secretswitch Wed 07-Aug-13 18:50:00

What hell for you and your dh! Surely, this matter could be handled in a much more sensitive way. Going through a miscarriage is already heart wrenching enough but to be faffed around makes it that much more difficult. Kind wishes to you and your family..

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Wed 07-Aug-13 23:12:36

I'm a mess tonight.

DH has gone to bed as his work are expecting him back tomorrow so he can hand over to have Friday and Saturday off to be with me.

I'm sat here and looking at my stomach where it had started forming a bump that is still there taunting me desperately wishing this all to be a bad dream and that the scan was wrong, that the baby has a heart beat, that Friday won't happen and that I will hold my healthy baby in March.

I feel like stamping my feet and screaming IT'S NOT FAIR!

AhoyMcCoy Wed 07-Aug-13 23:20:45

Oh soured, I know how you feel. I miscarried last Thursday when I was 11 weeks. Today should have been my scan, and I keep thinking that today I should have seen a little kicking baby and instead I'm sad and bleeding still.

It's just so unfair, and I sympathise. I guess it's too early days for me to advise anything constructive, but what I've found helps is spending time on here, as its good to 'be' with others who have been through similar, and being kind to yourself.

Keep post

AhoyMcCoy Wed 07-Aug-13 23:22:04

Sorry posted too soon...

Keep posting, rant if you need to. There are so many people here offering tea, chocolate and handholding. Thinking of you.

Bakingtins Thu 08-Aug-13 08:30:59

Soured I hope you managed to get some sleep. MC can be a very lonely experience. However lovely and supportive your DH, he is not physically going through the pregnancy or the loss, his hormones are not in upheaval and often the baby was that much less real to him.
It's massively unfair. You will probably suddenly seem to be surrounded by bumps, babies and absolutely shit parents with whole broods of kids. Rant and rage all you like - I think it's only by accepting and expressing all the feelings this throws up that you can move past them. Nobody here will be shocked no matter how unacceptable some of those emotions are.
Ahoy hope you are ok. Any dates that 'should have been' are difficult to get through. I suggest both of you get your other half to contact your GP and make sure you are not on any pregnancy mailing list for future scan appointments etc, don't rely on EPU letting them know. Any reminders of the stage you 'should have been' are an additional kick in the teeth.

JBrd Thu 08-Aug-13 09:31:27

Soured But it is unfair. Massively so. And it will seem more so every time you see a bump, a newborn baby, and worst of all, when someone around you announces they are pregnant. I found that after my mcs, there suddenly seemed to be pregnant women everywhere.

Do you have any friends that you might be able to talk to? Or your mum? I find that, as much as my DH tries to be there and help me, there is definitely a bit of a disconnect. He admits himself that he hasn't allowed himself to become too emotionally involved this time, fair enough, we don't really have a good track record. He helps me immensely, though - does all the cooking, dropping off/picking DS up from nursery, giving me lots of cuddles etc.
But yes, mc is a lonely experience. Talking to my (female) friends helps me a lot, and preferably the ones I know had had mcs themselves (this sounds awful, but I hope you see what I mean).
I can't really talk to my mum about this, even though she's had a mc herself. I've not yet told her about this mc, as she doesn't even know I was pg again, I had hoped to tell her face to face when she comes to visit at the end of the month.

ahoy Significant dates are difficult, I completely agree. My EDD from my first mc would have been the same as Kate Middleton's, there was no escape. Even though I was (or thought I was) pg when she gave birth, it still hurt. And just after I'd had my second mc, both a good friend as well as a colleague at work announced their pregnancies, both with 'my' EDD.

And in line with what baking said about notifying your GP - if you are on any mailing lists, or also if you (like me) have downloaded a million pregnancy apps, unsubscribe and delete them now. I just had a 'lovely' email and phone alert yesterday, telling me that I'm now 8 weeks pregnant and what my baby looks like at this stage.
It's like someone reaching into your chest, grabbing your heart and trying to squeeze the life out of it.

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Thu 08-Aug-13 11:42:53

Thank you for your kind words.

I am sorry to hear so many of us are in this position sad

I got virtually no sleep last night and was greeted by the letter from the hospital about my ERPC

'Dear soured,

We are pleased to confirm the arrangements for your admission...'

It is full of typos and bad grammar.

I'd like to know who thought it appropriate to send out with that wording and in that condition.

I know it's only a small thing but really is it too hard to put 'please find enclosed details of your forthcoming hospital admission' or similar

I burst out crying reading it, what stupid bloody thing to do, cry over a hospital admission letter

Bakingtins Thu 08-Aug-13 17:24:08

((HUGS))

The small things really matter when you are feeling vulnerable. Write it all down, and you can decide later whether you want to send them some constructive criticism when you are feeling stronger.

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Thu 08-Aug-13 21:58:44

God I feel empty tonight.

I hate it

Secretswitch Thu 08-Aug-13 22:31:50

Thinking of you Soured. I cannot believe the hospital sent such a shit letter. You would think there would be some sense of compassion for life changing events such as miscarriage. I can say from my experience I was sad for a very long time. My body healed much quicker than my soul. Having people around to talk with helped but sometimes I just needed to sit with the hurt...
Anyway, enough from me...xx

katatonic Fri 09-Aug-13 09:54:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Fri 09-Aug-13 13:43:53

I'm feeling crap today, thanks for asking, I passed the sac last night. Rung the hospital to prewarn them and they were lovely, had to go for another scan when I turned up whilst other women had their booking in bits done. Scan confirmed a complete miscarriage and a thinner uterus lining so surgery not needed. EPU have contacted the ward for us and sent us home.

The gynae staff were so lovely, they're clearly used to dealing with this and were very calming - clearly just the admin staff who need an attitude change.

I feel I can start to heal now the hospital side of things is over. Once the physical side stops hurting I can work on the emotional .

Thank you so much for your support

I hope you are all keeping well

JBrd Fri 09-Aug-13 14:54:52

Oh soured things have really kicked off for you, have they! But at least the waiting around for the actual miscarriage is now over, that is really a big step (although you might not think that right now). And it's always a plus if not intervention is needed.

It might really help that you can draw a line under the physical side of things (well, hopefully). Give yourself some time to grieve, a lot has happened in a short time, it needs to be processed.
I'd really recommend that you take next week off work, if you can, even though you might feel OK, the emotional rollercoaster is still ongoing.

Be kind to yourself x

Fancies40Winks Fri 09-Aug-13 18:30:10

Hi soured, I was on March 13 under another name and had a mmc. I had an erpc today; this baby would have been my first. Just posting to pass on every sympathy and to let you know there's others here in the same position ready to listen any time.

Sorry your hospital has been shit btw.x

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Fri 09-Aug-13 20:11:40

Thank you again for your kind words, both of you, they do mean a lot.

jbrd how are you doing? I agree it had been so quick, I really wish I hadn't had the reassurance scans at just before 7 and just before 8 weeks as I wouldn't have built my hopes up.

Sorry to hear your news 40winks too many of us march ladies are over here now sad

I'm probably outing myself by posting this but I've been crying along to Mumford and sons today and never a more appropriate lyric was written

"In this body you will live, in this body you will die, where you invest your love you invest your life"

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Fri 09-Aug-13 20:13:10

Oh and the slightly more positive:

"Love will not betray, dismay or enslave you it will set you free"

Fancies40Winks Sat 10-Aug-13 11:29:02

How are you today soured? I feel oddly fine, though I had a horrible nights sleep. I wonder am I recovered emotionally after two weeks, or am I in denial and its all going to come crashing down? The crippling stomach ache I have when not distracted suggests the latter.

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Sat 10-Aug-13 22:02:26

I'm similar today. Have had a lot to do as mum came over and made us do the garden with her (it needed doing tbh) and brought loads of flowers from well meaning relatives, sadly no vases to put them in so they're in buckets on the floor at the moment looking rather pathetic.

This is going to sound really odd and far far tmi but I really want to start having sex with DH again because I need the level of intimacy, not the actual act of sex for any other purpose, but i want to be held that closely by him and know everything will be alright. thing is he has gone into himself needing space whereas I've gone ultra clingy, not a good combination. He also is heeding the letter of the law from the nurse about not resuming a sex life until the bleeding stops which yes I get that but still. Does it make sense to be like this?? I feel like a freak right now sad blush

Souredstoneshasasouredpebble Sat 10-Aug-13 22:10:22

I also need to change my name on here but really don't want to sad

Fancies40Winks Sun 11-Aug-13 05:02:38

You don't have to do a damn thing until you're ready.

My flat is also like a florists. It's lovely.

I know what you mean about sex and intimacy, but I don't think I'm in with much chance for now. DH can't get turned on if I'm not happy and relaxed, which is obviously fair enough. I've had very little bleeding so that's not been an issue. I also don't want to start ttc'ing until I've had a period I think, but we chucked out our only (ancient) packet of condoms after my bfp and I can't buy more.

Night times are the worst. Days are ok, there is plenty to distract me, but in bed my mind keeps coming back to it. I keep waking through the night too - I'm so tired!

JBrd Sun 11-Aug-13 07:01:19

Soured - I can totally understand the need for closeness and intimacy, it's a way to deal with grief. It's a tricky one... Maybe you can talk to your DH to come a, erm, compromise? I tend to go the other way, all I want at the moment is a hug and cuddles.

I started spotting yesterday, but very lightly so far. What floored me was the letter from the hospital with the date for my 12 week scan hmmhmm I just wanted to wail when I opened it.

Fancies40Winks Sun 11-Aug-13 10:02:54

JBrd that sucks. Mine was waiting for me when I got back from the epu last week. I'm assuming the midwife part of the hospital has been updated now...

Souredstones Sun 11-Aug-13 13:27:37

Oh that is crap about the scan appointments sad mine came through with all my booking in paperwork and the EPU said they will cancel it all for me.

I don't want to start ttc until after my next period either. The sex issue for me is literally just a 'better' cuddle and not sex sex iykwim. I dunno.

I get where you're coming from about nights being worse. It's when the head starts mulching through it all and then you realise how much it hurts and that everything you've done that day has just been about distracting you.

I hurt today. Just looking at the pain on DH's face hurts me. We will come through it though, just needs time.

Fancies40Winks Sun 11-Aug-13 13:35:41

Aw love, well done for braving the name change.

DH has gone back to work today, first time since the bad scan almost a fortnight ago. Luckily a very good friend has come up to look after me. I can't quite cope with being alone just yet.

katatonic Sun 11-Aug-13 13:58:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Souredstones Mon 12-Aug-13 23:16:40

Pain sucks

I'm keeping myself amused by playing 'avoid the in your face in laws' who DH had 'kindly' arranged for me to see tomorrow...I cancelled the day bit but sadly can't avoid dinner with them.

I'd rather be at work than be round there and that's saying something because work fills me with dread even though I'm signed off.

Souredstones Mon 12-Aug-13 23:17:52

I keep hitting send too soon!!

I hope you are all keeping well and that life is being kind to you all

Xx

JoniR Tue 13-Aug-13 11:10:09

I completely get the need for intimacy. I discovered that I've miscarried yesterday and last night I really wanted DH for intimacy and also to feel anything but what I was feeling. I hope you're managing to keep occupied. I'm attacking the garden today, hacking branches with a saw is proving to be very therapeutic.

Souredstones Tue 13-Aug-13 21:05:23

Hi All,

How are you today? Sorry to hear your news joni

I'm doing really not very well today, time seems to be making it harder for me as the hormones leave my body my ailments all return and the physical pain now comes back.

I have so much hatred for my body right now it's unreal.

JoniR Tue 13-Aug-13 21:30:28

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a tough time. I'm emotionally exhausted but feel better than I did this morning. I think I've got through the shock and I'm beginning to accept it. It's heartbreaking but I refuse to let it break me. Sending you love and hope. Look after yourself.

Souredstones Wed 14-Aug-13 14:54:09

I seem to be feeling worse not better, how does that work?!

Souredstones Wed 14-Aug-13 15:17:08

Damnit I need to man up. There are people out there dealing with worse, going through worse than this. It's not right I should be this upset when they have worse to be dealing with.

JoniR Wed 14-Aug-13 20:31:30

Soured please don't be so hard on yourself. I've thought almost exactly those words in the past. What you are feeling is completely valid and you have every right to be feeling it. I can't say any more than that I care and that I'm thinking of you.

AhoyMcCoy Wed 14-Aug-13 20:41:03

Soured (&Joni) yes- I kept thinking the same too. That my loss was only 11 weeks and so many people suffer 'worse' - stillborns & losing children. But that's not right, and that's not how to think. You can't always minimise your problems- you are grieving, and rightly so.
You don't just love a baby the day it's born, you love it from the moment you know it's growing inside of you, and losing something you love so much (and sometimes feeling responsible for the loss too), is an absolutely awful feeling.
No- one expects you to get over it, or man up. Take your time, grieve, be kind to yourself.

For me, talking about it helped. And last weekend, me and DH went away together to the seaside, which felt really 'medicinal'. It was like we were us again. I planted sunflower seeds too, and they are sprouting already and it's great to watch them grow. Do something that makes you smile, and don't feel guilty in moments of happiness. flowers

Bakingtins Thu 15-Aug-13 08:29:35

There is always someone who is worse off than you. That doesn't invalidate your feelings. Don't try and push the feelings away, they will come back and bite you on the bum some time later.
Someone posted on here a while back that getting over a loss is like "Going on a Bearhunt" "you can't get over it, you can't get round it, you have to go through it"
By all means do whatever cheerful or self-caring things help you to feel better, but accept that this is a shitty thing to go through and that some of the time you will feel terrible about it. The bad feelings will recede with time, it is still very recent for you.

JBrd Fri 16-Aug-13 08:46:46

I agree with baking - don't try to belittle your own loss and grief. It's is right here, right now, and it's yours to deal with. Regardless of what happens to other people.

I had never so low before in my life before I experienced my first miscarriage. It seemed like a bottomless pit that I was trying to climb out of, but couldn't find the strength to do it.
And that's OK. Don't feel that you have to bounce back immediately, because you just can't.
And remember that grief comes in many different ways - for my first mc, all I could do was sit at home, watch some mindless DVD box set, or sleep (never underestimate the power of sleep!). For my second, I attacked the garden with a vigour that I'd never found before for gardening - it was so therapeutic, hacking away at bushes and trimming hedges, but also planting lots of new things. And I baked for England, 2 breads almost every day.

And please don't hate your body, soured. I know it feels like it has failed you, but it really hasn't, in fact, it's doing what it's supposed to do... I know it doesn't feel like that at the moment.
Treat yourself (and your body) to something nice - a facial, massage, manicure etc. Just be kind to yourself. And on day at a time.

katatonic Fri 16-Aug-13 11:49:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Zumbasmyfave Sat 17-Aug-13 09:10:09

Hi soured
I was so sorry to read what of you are going through. You must feel numb about the news of not needing the op.. I hope that knowing that will allow you & your dh to start healing.

I went for my dating scan on Thursday for my 1st pregnancy and to my utter shock & horror there was no heartbeat & the baby had stopped growing at 8 1/2 weeks. Me & dh are devastated & can't imagine feeling normal again.

I hope that you & ur dh are able to make some positive plans for the future & look forward to something nice. I know this has turned your whole world upside down & it's grieving for what will not be as well as what you've lost. Look after yourself.

Hugs xxx

JBrd Thu 29-Aug-13 08:26:16

Soured, how are you? Hope you're managing...

I'm ok, didn't have to go for the medical management in the end, the first round of drugs was enough. Passed the sac last Thursday, which was the day I was scheduled to go into the hospital for the next round of induction. They confirmed it was the sac and sent me straight home again, I was so relieved I didn't have to stay.

Still off work, I managed to pick up an infection and am now on antibiotics - they do work, but make me so tired. Hoping to go back to normal soon...

Fancies40Winks Thu 29-Aug-13 09:10:41

Hey JBrd. Sorry the infection is adding insult to injury. I went back to work last week and it was surprisingly hard keeping up a normal front.

If my pregnancy had worked my 12 week scan would have been yesterday. I ought to be making all the happy phone calls today.

JBrd Thu 29-Aug-13 10:10:43

Hi Fancies, my 12-week scan would've been next week... It's so sad and unfair.

I think I'm almost scared to go back to work, after having lived in a bit of a bubble for the last few weeks. Yes, I had a lot to deal with, but once the mc had taken place, I've been pushing everything away a bit. But have to go back to a 'normal' life some time.

Hope that you can manage with your grief. This may sound patronising, but from experience I know that you do learn to live with it. There will be set backs, no doubt, esp when someone announces their own pregnancy or someone has a baby. Just take one day at a time.

Souredstones Sun 01-Sep-13 15:49:42

Hi ladies, how are you? My scan should have been Thursday just gone and I had to get out the house to take my mind off it. Like fancies all I could think about was "we should have been telling everyone today" it's crap.

So sorry to hear of your infection jbrd that's the last thing you need!!

My sick note runs out tomorrow and should be going back then but spoke to my boss yesterday and due to the nature of my job she wants me to go to the GP and get either signed off again or signed to a phased return as its such an emotional job she's worried it will make me ill in the long run so doesn't want to risk it. I need to talk it through with the GP really.

Urgh. It's all a bit crap really.

Fancies40Winks Sun 01-Sep-13 17:35:54

I'm doing ok soured. I've been a bit under the weather recently, I was dry heaving in the toilets yesterday morning and my breasts have started to ache already so I think my period is coming soon amd am trying to not think I might be pregnant again already - it's highly unlikely.

What is it you do? The first few days back were hard and I was shattered but now I'm glad I went back and got things edging back towards normal.

Souredstones Mon 02-Sep-13 09:19:53

Oh no! I hate dry heaving!!

My job is basically listening to people's problems all day and then trying to solve them for them. It's a great job but high stress.

I've been signed off for another week with instructions to go back next week to be signed onto a phased return to work, my GP has also referred me onto counselling.

JBrd Mon 02-Sep-13 15:53:41

fancies That doesn't sound good! Do you normally have this when AF is coming? Or is there a chance you could be pg again (or more bluntly: do you want to be)? It's not unheard of...

soured I'm glad that your boss and GP are so understanding and forthcoming to give you another week off and then a phased return. I just had two weeks off for my miscarriage, and even though I thought I could have gone back after the first, in hindsight I'm really glad that I took them both. Today is my first day back, and I'm struggling more than I expected - not physically, but emotionally.
And I have a bone-dry office job, I can't begin to imagine what it would be like having to deal with other people's problems shock I'd probably bite their head off, to be honest, as my tolerance threshold currently appears to be zero (as poor DH and DS had to find out recently). Really can't deal with anything remotely complicated at the moment.

Take as much time as you can get and do nice things for yourself! I treated myself to a massage and a pedicure while off for the mc, and it was heavenly. Miscarriages really take it out of you, on every level. Every little helps.

Fancies40Winks Mon 02-Sep-13 19:28:47

I do sometimes get a bit queasy before af but not normally that bad. I have had sex a few times so its not impossible. I would love to be pregnant again but don't want to get my hopes up! (So I'm not letting myself think that the big streak of brown blood I had a couple of days ago could be an implantation bleed. Because I'll just be disappointed.)

I have been dealing with people neglecting their children today. I was red hot with rage.

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