2 in a row [sad]. info needed

(26 Posts)
thethirteenthcoming Tue 02-Jul-13 21:17:45

The title says it all, really. I just need answers no one seems able to supply.
How common is it?
Are successful pregnancies likely after?
I already have a dd, healthy and happy.
What am I doing wrong?

Can't answer your questions but offering a hand to hold and a shameless bump. Good luck

thethirteenthcoming Tue 02-Jul-13 21:30:18

Thank you. I am very close to praying thses days.

Jollyb Tue 02-Jul-13 22:10:03

You're doing nothing wrong.

Even with 2 MC your chance of going on to have a successful pregnancy is high - only marginally less than someone who has never miscarried.

Miscarriages are crap and I'm sorry you're going through this.

lj123 Tue 02-Jul-13 23:09:20

Hun, I'm sorry for your loss, if it helps I have had 4 MC myself and an ectopic back in November, I got checked out with my ectopic and was told everything should be fine be my time, although it hasn't happened yet, there's hope for anyone.
baby dust
Good luck. Xxx

I'm in exactly the same position hun - I have a healthy DS who is 4 - we conceived him on our 3rd cycle and the pregnancy was easy / text book.

Started trying for number 2 last July and have had a miscarriage in February and June.

No-one seems to have any answers / explanations as to why it happened again hmm

Have you spoken to your G.P? X

AnyFucker Tue 02-Jul-13 23:24:21

I am very sorry, love

If it helps, I had two mc's in a row then went on to have 2 healthy babies

You have a good chance of carrying to term, I promise you

Isn't it true that one in five of all pg's end in mc anyway? Not really a comfort right now, but I don't think people realise that conceiving a baby is such a bloody miracle with so many obstacles along the way. I wonder how any of us do it all, actually.

RainbowConnections Tue 02-Jul-13 23:49:33

Hi

I don't have answers, but can empathise - MCs May and June, 7 wks apart. It certainly doesn't feel random. I've read as much as I can on-line and there really isn't an explanation, just the idea that its bad luck.

I'm probably just re-hashing what you've read, but (from memory of googling) I think 4-5% of couple trying to get pregnant experience 2 consecutive MCs. From what I can tell, even after 3 consecutive miscarriages, where investigations are undertaken, only about half those get any answers.

Everywhere confirms what Jollyb has said, the chances of the next pregnancy being successful are high, and nearly as high as someone who has never miscarried.

I had a list after 1st MC of all the things I did wrong and it briefly made me feel less vulnerable and more in control. They weren't what caused the MC of course. You aren't doing anything wrong. My GP very patiently talked me through the science of what happens at conception and what can go wrong with a pregnancy and how amazing it is for any pregnancy to be successful. Felt like nothing different to what I'd read but it really helped.

I've ordered a book by Lesley Regan called "Miscarriage: What every Woman needs to know", mainly so I can try kick the terrible relentless googling re TTC/MC etc. Haven't got it yet but it was recommended by another poster here who has been helpful on people's MC threads.

I've just had BFN and preparing to try again. Difficult to feel hopeful, but hard as it is to believe the odds genuinely are good.

escorpion Wed 03-Jul-13 01:50:50

So sorry to hear what you are going through. I am afraid I am going through my second miscarriage as we speak. Am bleeding bright red blood which started off as pink spotting. I am just shattered and so upset with it all. I am 32 and am starting to think I am never going to be a mum. It´s just so shitty!

RainbowConnections Wed 03-Jul-13 08:19:52

So sorry escorpion, not much will help at the moment, agree its totally shit. Difficult as it is to believe just now this doesnt mean you won't be a mum. I know its hard enough to believe this after the first MC, means little after 2.
You will get through it again but its sad and terrible. Thinking of you. x

Purplefrogshoe Wed 03-Jul-13 10:48:46

So sorry but dont give up, i had 2 mmc and then had my DD xx

cornflakegirl Wed 03-Jul-13 11:01:18

Sorry to hear about your losses.

I had three miscarriages between DS1 and DS2. Saw GP after third one, he was fairly useless, referred me to consultant, but I was pregnant by the time of the appointment and that one stuck, so never got any answers. I found Professor Regan's book really helpful for understanding what might be going on.

It was a fairly horrible time, and something I found it really hard to talk to RL people about. Tbh, getting pregnant didn't actually make it any better, as I spent the first trimester freaked that I was going to lose the baby, and the third trimester worrying about something going wrong at the end. I would very much recommend joining one of the support threads on here - it really helped me to talk to people who understood how I felt.

squizita Wed 03-Jul-13 12:32:44

Sorry for your losses. The second miscarriage is so hard to bear - so frightening but too early to get the answers you crave.

First off, according to what I have read it isn't even 'nearly as high' according to most doctors specialising in miscarriage ... until you've had three or four, its as high as someone who hasn't had any with the same age and lifestyle as you. The reason the stats go up is an associative one not a causal one: the 1% of women who MC more than twice in a row have to get pregnant more often in order to have a baby (so there are more losses in that group, because there's a 20% risk in every pregnancy). The 99% stop: they've had their baby/babies!

Indeed as you can see from the thread, even people who have had 3 (or more) miscarriages then go on to have a baby. Even after 3 the chances of success the next conception is 70%+ (and several conditions are treatable nowadays that weren't before, with simple injections/aspirin etc').

But when I was in your shoes after my second (weirdly for me it felt worse than my 1st and 3rd - maybe because after 3 you get NHS treatment so it feels a bit less helpless) it was hard to believe. These are the places which I found really helpful for reassurance:
-www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk search their forums for birth announcements, and ask advice, everyone's lovely there...also their helpline is wonderful. There are factual leaflets too.
-Book: Miscarriage By Lesley Regan - really, really good factual book.
-Book: Coming to Term by Jon Cohen - it's scientific but also has some very hopeful true stories.

Best of luck. flowers

Bakingtins Wed 03-Jul-13 13:49:41

I'm sorry, 13th it really is shit. I think there is something particularly difficult about a 2nd miscarriage, you find it very hard to believe it's just random bad luck but you're not taken seriously as someone with a problem. Background miscarriage rate is about 15% of confirmed pregnancies, which means you have a 2% chance of having 2 purely due to bad luck. As Squiz said, your chance of a healthy pregnancy next time remains at 85%. It's very hard picking yourself up and finding the courage to try again though.

RainbowConnections Wed 03-Jul-13 14:19:45

13th really sorry if I quoted stats incorrectly (the mention of googling probably indicted I wasn't sure of any of this). Not helpful. Bad enough that I confuse myself.
I should just say sorry you're going through this. flowers

onthetrainhome Wed 03-Jul-13 17:39:19

I have been reading this board for a few months as I have had 2 miscarriages over the last four months. I've never posted before but this thread really struck a chord with me.

It's an awful feeling isn't it. I still feel quite numb about it all but get waves of panic that it is just not going to work out. But the stories and stats here are reassuring and I really feel for all the other women who have had really tough experiences

I also have a ds with whom I had an easy healthy pregnancy.

I have found the lesley reagan book really helpful - although it is hard knowing that there is not necessarily a cause or anything you can do

I am trying to make myself feel better by taking loads of vitamins & supplements and eat healthily - just in case it helps.

I'm sorry that you are in this situation too

thethirteenthcoming Wed 03-Jul-13 20:24:40

God, this is definitely more common than I thought. So sorry to hear all of you having gone through this. I wonder how we learn how to cope with things?!

My GP is definitely useless. I have to fight for any appointment, and not once I was given the wrong advice/ medication. Not that I am a specialist, hence looking for advice from one, but even I knew it was wrong.

The most horrible thing is the fact that, with both MMC, my body somehow did not compute, and kept on going. I am supposed to be 13 weeks, and except for some light bleeding, nothing has happened. And the wait is killing me. But i don't have the heart to go through a second procedure. Somehow, seeing the heartbeat at 6 weeks made this baby so real, that I do not want it yanked out.

And I don't even know if that is the right decision!

Jollyb Thu 04-Jul-13 10:51:12

Thirteenth and Escorpion I hope the next few weeks are ok for you both. allow yourself time to be angry, sad and grieve.

One of the only 'blessings' with my 3 MCs was that I didn't ever get to see a HB with any of them. I think that made the pregnancies seem less real and somehow easier to deal with.

I was referred to my local recurrent MC clinic after number 3. The Consultant was pretty matter of fact and said don't worry it will happen for you, take multivitamins and if you want, a low dose of aspirin until 12 weeks. I wasn't very impressed by this advice at the time and was about to request a second opinion from a specialist unit. I then got pregnant the next cycle and am now nearly 37 weeks. I really, really didn't ever think that I'd have another baby .

ZenGardener Thu 04-Jul-13 10:57:29

I wanted to say I echo the multivitamins. I had 2 miscarriages in a row and I actually had a problem with vitamin B deficiency during the second one.

I started making sure I took a multivitamin every day and the next time I was fine. It might be just coincidence but I felt there was a connection.

squizita Thu 04-Jul-13 13:28:28

Multivitamins are reassuring and I'd recommend taking them (not least to regain all you have lost after the physical aspect of 2 MCs) however don't beat yourself up about them with regards to past losses. We really have very little control. I know people with severe colitis who have big families, and likewise very, very few recurrent miscarriers are in that situation because of nutrition.

ZenGardener Thu 04-Jul-13 13:39:58

Sorry, I should have been clearer. There is research to show Vitamin B12 deficiency may be a factor in some cases of recurrent miscarriages. I felt like I was one of those people. Of course the OP and any other posters' personal situations may be completely different. It may just be bad luck. It may be something else all together. But it is very easy to take a vitamin tablet a day so definitely worth a try.

RainbowConnections Thu 04-Jul-13 14:26:49

OP, I hope you are OK today. Its terrible to be waiting. It seems woman feel differently about whether to have a medical procedure or a natural MC at home. There is a really helpful thread here that I wished I'd read before my first MC at home, that you might find useful - even just the first post on it. I think if you change your mind there is no reason why you can't go back to EPU/hospital and reconsider options.
Take care. x

thethirteenthcoming Thu 04-Jul-13 20:25:48

Helpful link, thank you Rainbow. Will have a proper read a bit later.

alicebear Fri 05-Jul-13 16:43:03

I'm another in the same boat. There seem to be a lot of us sadly.
I have a DD age 2. Started trying for dc2 in Jan. Had mmc in April at 12 wks & then mc last weekend at 7 wks.

When everything goes so well the first time you do wonder what's going on. We are all very unlucky. It's reassuring to hear of women who had 2 mcs & went on to have a baby but it's horrible not knowing what the future will throw at you esp after everything so far.

Here's hoping for lots of third time luck for us all.

thethirteenthcoming Mon 19-Aug-13 09:01:52

Update - I've had the ERCP three weeks ago and I'm still bleeding! I am at a loss with what to do and the EPU do not seem concerned at all. AAARRRGGGHHH! this is definitely a never ending rollercoaster.

chocolatefrog Mon 19-Aug-13 18:36:21

I know how you feel with the bleeding. I had an ERPC after a MMC at 12 weeks . I bled for nearly 4 weeks afterwards and it took me exactly 4 weeks to get a negative pg test. I had expected the bleeding to be over quite quickly with this procedure. It was a constant reminder of what had happened and i wanted my body to get back to normal after everything it's been through.I think everyone is different and 3 weeks is quite normal but I understand completely your frustration.

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