13 weeks MMC, what now?

(38 Posts)
redwallday Fri 19-Apr-13 20:00:01

I've been for my 12 week scan today at 13 weeks to be told the baby is only measuring 6 weeks and as I know my dates are right the baby has died. But the hospital are saying that due to it being under a certain size they want me to wait a week before I go back for another scan to see if the baby has grown. We only DTD once and haven't had sex since. I know my dates are right and I know my baby is dead. I just want a D&C now but they are making me wait another week. I really don't want to miscarry naturally. I want this over with now. sad(

redwallday Fri 19-Apr-13 21:07:31

Anyone? sad

Silverlace Fri 19-Apr-13 21:10:48

Sorry you have had bad news. I had the same when I went for a 10 week scan. Baby hadn't developed beyond 6 weeks. I knew my dates were accurate. It was just horrible being sent home when I knew nothing would change.

I did miscarry naturally a few days later which I was pleased about as I didn't want a D&C.

You probably won't be able to speak to anyone over the weekend but can you speak to your midwife or Dr on Monday? Is there an early pregnancy unit near you that you could talk to?

I know what you are going through is awful and I hope you can find a way to get through the next week.

TrudyW Sat 20-Apr-13 09:22:08

Hi redwall,
I lost my baby in exactly the same situation as you. I was 13weeks and too found out at the scan, I had no symptoms prior to the scan to suggest anything was wrong so it was a huge shock for us and I know exactly how you are feeling. I am really sorry you have lost your baby. I chose the medical management route as I've never had a general anesthetic and operations scare me but that's just my personal opinion, you need to do what is right for you. I wish you all the best with whatever you choose and can tell you that the pain does get easier to manage although never goes away. My miscarriage was back in October and I still cry sometimes and the fact that the baby's due date is coming up next Friday is hard. I can tell you that we are expecting again, we have our scan on Friday on our lost baby's due date which is a bit hard and I am just praying for a positive outcome this time so there are positive stories after a miscarriage it is just hard to see that in the beginning. I wish you all the best x

redwallday Sat 20-Apr-13 10:20:08

Thank you for your replies. It's just the thought that the earliest they will let me have any intervention is in another 9 days. I look pregnant, I feel pregnant, I've had loads of symptoms. I just want to stop feeling like this now and feel like their refusal to do anything is just prolonging the agony. I don't want a natural MC as I've heard so many awful stories. Including a very close friend quite recently in a similar situation. I want a D&C, I want it over with. sad

redwallday Sat 20-Apr-13 10:21:17

Good luck for your scan Trudy, can't imagine how nervous you must feel. I really hope everything goes well for you xxx

juneau Sat 20-Apr-13 10:25:15

I too experienced a MMC detected at the 12-week scan back in 2010. I requested an ERPC immediately and was booked in for the following day (the scan was on a Fri and I had the op on the Sat). I'd ring the EPU on Monday, if that's where you had the scan, and say what you've said on here and request to be booked in for a ERPC immediately. AFAIK it is your right to request the treatment you want, when you want it. It's certainly worth trying. I didn't want to MC naturally either - I wanted it dealt with medically. I saw and experienced nothing - it was just the way I wanted it.

Quodlibet Sat 20-Apr-13 10:33:01

Redwallday I was in the same position as you over Xmas - my sca was on Xmas eve and I was sent away for a week too. I know how horrible it is.
What I did was ring the EPAU and ask to be booked in for an ERPC on the day I was due back in for my 7 day scan.if you got seen yesterday then maybe you could be booked in next Friday, meaning you didn't have to wait the weekend too? They were very sympathetic and did this for me - I think it must happen all the time. Whilst I can see the need to err on the side of caution it made me really angry that noone would take into account that I was sure of my dates.

While I can understand your fear about a natural MC in the meantime, if your body hasn't noticed anything is wrong up til now then it is quite likely that like me nothing will happen in the next week.

I am really sorry for the loss of your pregnancy. My top bit of advice would be to allow yourself time and rest to recover properly and grieve. It's a horrible horrible thing to happen.

redwallday Sat 20-Apr-13 12:23:56

I've called EPU and they won't do it any sooner. I've begged her to at least get the scan done on the Thursday and then I can have the op on the Friday instead of having to wait until the Monday. If I have it on the Friday my husband will be at he all weekend so I can recover. If its Monday I will be on my own afterwards. I can't believe that I could request an abortion and get it done but they are point blank refusing to listen to me because I said I wanted the pregnancy. It's my body FFS.

Quodlibet Sat 20-Apr-13 19:22:17

That it ludicrous. There's no reason why they can't put you on the day surgery list and scan you beforehand. What a bunch of bastards.
I would suggest DP takes a day off on Tuesday to look after you - you may need it.

redwallday Sat 20-Apr-13 21:36:01

We have private health insurance but I'm not sure if its covered. Do you think I would be able to get the D&C done privately? Has anyone ever done this?

Andcake Sat 20-Apr-13 21:46:26

I haven't but know of a friend who had one done Privately. I'm so sorry this is happening to you it's horrid. I miscarried naturally whilst waiting the the op. it was bad but in someways I was relieved that my body finally worked things out. Take care.

Bakingtins Sun 21-Apr-13 12:22:53

My friend had a ERPC done privately. Unfortunately a lot of private health insurance excludes anything pregnancy related - we're having to pay for recurrent MC testing as ours doesn't cover it.
It is really rubbish that you have to wait. I can see why they have the "2 scans a week apart showing no development" policy but when you are sure about your dates it is just cruel.
Is there another hospital you could try?

squizita Sun 21-Apr-13 15:58:40

Sorry to hear you're going through this. I'm in a similar situation. I think the waiting policy is because even with modern scans, things can go un-noticed - I've heard in the US some states who ERPC straight away have a pretty unacceptable error rate. But 2 weeks seems very long and the consultant aught to use their common sense. Remember you can request another NHS hospital or if it comes to it, go private. I am lucky in a way my consultant confirmed in 1 week and booked me in shortly after that.

MrsJohnDeere Sun 21-Apr-13 16:29:29

Sorry you are going through this.

I had my ERPC done privately back in Oct. I just had to pay the £150 excess iirc (actual op cost around £3000, judging from the copies of the bills that I saw). The key thing is that when you phone your insurer to ask about it that you don't mine ton the word 'pregnancy', which I know seems ludicrous. The gynaecologist who did mine told me exactly how to word it to them, and it was something along the lines of 'I have had a MMC and need an ERPC', nothing else, no explanations, no waffle.

My insurance company didn't quibble at all, and were really lovely and sensitive on the phone too. shock I also had to get the GP's approval (but that's just them saying yes on the phone , you don't actually have to go and see them) and you need to know your blood type.

I had mine done straight away (MMC spotted one evening, ETOC done the next evening). The good thing aoutnhavingit done privately is that you get a full histology report on what caused the miscarriage and at least one follow-up appointment too (I've ended up having umpteen appointments, all covered by insurance, because it all got very complicated).

MrsJohnDeere Sun 21-Apr-13 16:30:06

Sorry many typos, on phone blush

redwallday Sun 21-Apr-13 21:58:05

Thanks everyone. We have tried to call the private insurance today but they aren't available until tomorrow. I will be calling both then and the hospital first thing. If private need the approval of a GP does that mean that they too could refuse to do the D&C for another week?

Also if I do start to naturally miscarry can I then request a D&C straight away??

I've been reading on here and through the literature I was given and I'm now worried sick about this molar thing?? I've never heard of it before and don't really understand it. Why is it linked to cancer? I wanted to start trying again straight away but now worried I should wait until any results come back. But what I don't understand is if someone had had a natural miscarriage there would be nothing to test so how would they know if they had a part/full molar? Would it result in a second mc if they got pregnant straight away again? Sorry so many questions but my mind is racing sad

MrsJohnDeere Sun 21-Apr-13 22:15:47

If the insurance company give the go ahead then you don't have to wait at all. It involved general anaesthetic and you have to be nil by mouth for 6 hours (I think) beforehand, but that's the boy thing that would delay it.

If the consultant doing it has a day job in an NHS hospital then you might be restricted to an evening slot for the op.

Try not to worry about the molar thing. That's what I have/had but the chances are minimal. 1 in 5000 pregnancies iirc. 1 person a year gets a partial mole that needs chemo and this year it is me so it almost certainly won't happen to you!

Yes, if someone miscarried naturally or had an ERPC at some NHS hospitals then the 'products of conception' (horrible, horrible phrase) would not be tested and any thing molar would only be discovered much later if there was a problem (abnormal bleeding, morning sickness that continues when not pg, bloating so you look pg when not, raised hCG). Easier said than done, but try not to worry about anything like this for the moment.

MrsJohnDeere Sun 21-Apr-13 22:16:35

That's about the only thing (stupid predictive text)

so very sorry to hear this, i would call the hospital first thing tomoorow am and beg them to see you
and insist you knw what you want a dand c

best of luck op

redwallday Mon 22-Apr-13 10:22:53

The private insurance say I need a referral letter from the doctor but I should be covered. I'm not sure how to go about it really. Do I get an appointment (they are like hens teeth)? Do I just call them? I'm still waiting for the hospital to decide wether I can be scanned on Thursday and then have the D&C on Friday.

Yonilovesboni Mon 22-Apr-13 10:37:56

Ring docs, tell receptionist you need emergency appointment TODAY! Ask gp to fax or email insurance company. That should do it op. hope your ok, thinking of you x

MrsJohnDeere Mon 22-Apr-13 12:24:04

phone the GP and ask the receptionist to fax something through today. You shouldn't need to make an appointment,.

Good luck x

jamtoast12 Mon 22-Apr-13 12:48:35

Sorry for your news. i had a mmc at the 12 week scan (at 7.2wk) and had a d&c which was fine and over quickly. They did mine straight away but that's because I'd had an earlier scan (for bleeding) so had seen the heart beat earlier on.

Is the delay becuause the pregnancy is so young - At 6 weeks there isn't always a heart beat yet so "in their minds" they may think it could continue?

Obviously you know you are sure of your dates but without them knowing that it has ended for sure, then that's why they want to delay and scan again later. without confirmation, it could be seen as an abortion so i do see their dilema.

Of course they could do a blood test 48 hrs apart which would confirm mc from levels not increasing etc. I'd ask for a blood test. Good luck

hotcrosbum Mon 22-Apr-13 14:31:34

Can I ask where you can get it done privately?

redwallday Mon 22-Apr-13 15:53:37

I'm being pushed from pillar to post, people saying they will call me back and then not bothering. I want a D&C straight away. But the hospital are messing me around so I've gone to the private health insurance but they need a doctors letter and the doctors are being useless saying they've never done this sort of referral so they want to speak to the consultant to find out what they need to do. All I need is a letter FFS!! I am ready to scream!

hotcrosbum Mon 22-Apr-13 16:01:31

I am so sorry Op. I know how frustrating it is.

I am going though a MMC at the moment too. I had a scan 4 weeks ago, I should have been 8 weeks, I measured 7 and the baby had a very low heartbeat. I know when I conceived, so that coupled with the heart beat, I knew something was wrong. Went back two weeks later (on April 12th) and the baby had died shortly after that first scan.

I had the scans done at a private clinic, so wasn't under the care of a hospital. I was hoping something would happen naturally as I am terrified of a GA, but ten days later and not a sign.

I am going to my GP tomorrow to get referred to hospital.

I hope you get the results you want and fast. This has been the hardest ten days of my life, I want it over with now as well, I am going crazy waiting.

MrsJohnDeere Mon 22-Apr-13 16:10:10

Sorry you are being messed around so much. Last thing you need right now.

Can I suggest phoning the secretary/PA if whoever you have in mind to do the ERPC. They'll phone the GP and make it happen for you (worked for me).

MrsJohnDeere Mon 22-Apr-13 16:12:24

Hotcrosbum - BUPA /Spire hospitals .

Mine was done by the same gynaecologist who'd done my nuchal (and told me about the MMC)

hotcrosbum Mon 22-Apr-13 16:14:45

Thanks.

I had my scans with Dr Gibb from the portland. Unfortunately, his secretary said it would cost 4 -5k fir him to do the procedure there. I had to downgrade my insurance to Axa (via telco) when first dh left me. I am unsure what it will cover.

MrsJohnDeere Mon 22-Apr-13 17:01:45

Mine is AXA

redwallday Tue 23-Apr-13 09:16:47

The hospital have rang, they are point blank refusing to do the scan on Thursday so the scan will be Friday and then she said they might not be able to get me in for the D&C on Monday now. Apparently the consultant says he must follow the NICE guidelines of leaving me for between a week to 14 days. I'm sure that must be so comforting for him seeing as he's a fucking man and will never ever have to go through this. Perhaps he would think differently if it was his wife going through this instead. I am so gutted.

redwallday Thu 25-Apr-13 11:05:16

Insurance came through for us. Currently sat in hospital. Had the op at 8:15am. Glad it's over but feel 'empty' sad

MrsJohnDeere Thu 25-Apr-13 11:45:20

Sending you a very unmumsnetty virtual hug. x

Hope you can go home soon. Be very kind to yourself in the next few days.

Quodlibet Thu 25-Apr-13 14:58:43

Look after yourself OP. Make sure you allow yourself time to process what has happened to you. Grief can be exhausting and take a lot out of you.

Yonilovesboni Thu 25-Apr-13 22:01:37

Thinking of you, xx

redwallday Thu 25-Apr-13 22:50:41

Thank you all for your support. It's helped immensely over this last week to hand you guys to talk too. I'm glad I went for the D&C option. No pain at all really and only very light bleeding. Very quick and I remember nothing.

juneau Fri 26-Apr-13 12:05:51

I'm so glad you got the treatment you wanted OP. It makes a horrible thing that much more bearable, I think, if you feel you at least have that tiny bit of control over how it's managed.

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