have just started to miscarry :( anyone up?

(85 Posts)
jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 01:52:27

You may have seen my thread on here before.I lost my baby at 19 weeks in November last year....fell pregnant again,was so thrilled ...& e weeks ago the nightmare started...I was suspected of having a rare ectopic c section scar pregnancy & kept in hospital for over a week...aftermri scan etc...they said it wasent,just a pregnancy very close to it...& that they were 99% sure the pregnancy wouldn't survive...was sent away...rescanin 2 weeks.
I still had hope...I really did...
Then today the brown spotting started...& mild constant period cramps....
Then 20 mins ago....pop...blood & clots just fell out...
Had a look thru as I managed to get to the loo where I had a bowlset up in loo...(sorry if tmi) can't see any sac...just lots of clots? Is there more to come? Pain so far is manageable? Will it get worse? I'm 8 weeks +4

NandH Wed 10-Apr-13 02:03:07

I have no idea, never been through anything like this sad

here for hand holding, so sorry flowers
make yourself a hot drink and relax, is dp/Dh up? if not, wake him up!

whitewineintherain Wed 10-Apr-13 02:10:53

I don't have much advice, I was further along than you when I lost mine but here for hand holding.

whitewineintherain Wed 10-Apr-13 02:12:48

If you lose too much blood or the pain becomes unbearable you should really go to a&e.

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 02:14:13

Thank u ladies xxxxxxxx
Yes he was up...but I sent him back to bed in spare room....he needs to b fresh for children tomm (4 & 7 year old) ...door is open so I only have to call & he will come

Accentuatethepositive Wed 10-Apr-13 02:15:05

So sorry to hear you are going through this. Hope you have someone in real life to hold your hand.

I miscarried at 8 weeks too (though a scan when the initial light bleeding began indicated the pregnancy had stopped progressing a few weeks earlier). For me when bleeding began in earnest it was very heavy with big clots and quite a bit of pain for a day or two. Then more like a heavy period after that. I never saw a sac or anything.

I remember if being such a horrible, frightening and sad time. L

whitewineintherain Wed 10-Apr-13 02:16:10

I'm glad, you've got a dp around, hopefully someone with more advice will be along soon.

Accentuatethepositive Wed 10-Apr-13 02:17:21

Sorry posted too soon. Look after yourself and do go back to hospital if you're worried. In fact probably good to call them at least in the morning- are you under the care of an early preg unit? They can advise whether you need to go in/ what you should be doing to look after yourself at home.

Hope you're ok.

Accentuatethepositive Wed 10-Apr-13 02:24:33

Just put my dd back to bed so going to sleep for a bit now but will check in next time she wakes up. Hope you manage to get some rest.

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 02:25:54

Thank u ladies.....I don't feel so alone now xxxx

I can't quite believe its over again..& pain still not too bad....so think it's going to get a lot worse...just passed another huge clot....
The physical pain .of my induced labour with my loss at 19 weeks was worst pain.I have ever felt...morphine in hospital didn't even touch it....so I'm a little terrified right now if this one takes a turn..

MooseBeTimeForCoffee Wed 10-Apr-13 02:32:01

It's early evening here. I'll hold your hand.

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 02:44:03

Thank u xxxxx

Nordicmom Wed 10-Apr-13 02:46:32

I'm so sorry for you having to go through this ! I had 10 early misscarriages . Only once saw a bigger clot . The pain will last a several days but I'd say this early for me it was more like a really bad period I just took ibuprofen and paracetamol when I was sure it was a misscarriage . The pain was not like the contractions I had when having my son . I'd go for a scan at some point . One of my misscarriages wasn't complete and the pregnancy actually kind of continued even though the foetus had stopped having a heartbeat . I only discovered this months after and ended up with a D&C . All other misscarriages were natural .

2ndtimeroundandfeelingclueless Wed 10-Apr-13 02:48:07

so sorry. When I miscarried at 12 weeks I went into hospital but they didn't induce labour. I had an ERPC under general. I think it made things much easier (on the physical side, then my 1st miscarriage where I stayed at home). I had to stay in overnight - but I think that was because the op was in the late afternoon. I didn't suffer much pain at all - period like pains afterwards and very little blood.


doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 02:50:53

Oh OP so sorry - here to and-hold!

A&E might be an idea? X

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 02:59:37

I think I just passed the sac sad
Sorry if this tmi...but may help others in same situation....
It was not Like clots ...it was perfectly round....& slightly different color...I wanted to see what was in..so squeezed gently & so clear fluid came out...couldnt see a fetus...just grey color tissue...but I think my little bean only made it to 2mm

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 03:04:21

Thanks ladies...hospital won't do Erpc on me as the pregnancy was located too near to c section scar & the risked damage or hysterectomy was huge...they were all for nature....safest in.my circumstances. They also Saud to not go to a & e unless cannot control bleeding orpain so bad I can't cope as there is nothing I can do & much more dignified to do this at home rather than in a cubicle

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:06:46

Oh god how awful I'm so sorry..... Wake up DP?

2ndtimeroundandfeelingclueless Wed 10-Apr-13 03:08:17

squeezing your hand xxx

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 03:10:47

I wrapped it in tissue....will discreetly bury it tomorrow maybe? Or should I just flush? Font think I can bear to

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 03:11:49

Excuse terrible typos,I'm.on phone & in a bit of pain x

Spellcheck Wed 10-Apr-13 03:13:49

My heart goes out to you, I'm so very sorry. Been there myself, I lost one at 9 weeks annd it was just as you described.

Please wake DH up!!! I'm sure he'd want to know, and you can comfort each other. Middle of the night is lonely enough.

On a practical note, over the next few days keep an eye on what else comes out. Any funny smells or colours and take yourself to A and E.

Shedding a tear for you, OP, really hope you are ok xxx

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:13:56

Do u have painkillers?

Spellcheck Wed 10-Apr-13 03:15:28

I buried ours, by the way, in the garden. We later planted a tree there.

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 03:18:14

Thank u so much.for holding my hand ladies xxxxx yes I have got painkillers...but haven't taken then ad can still bear the pain? Didn't wanna take them too soon?
Now I think I have passed the sac..is the worst of the blood & pain.over in your experience? Obviously I.know everyone isdifferent.... So sorry you too have been thru this... Life is very cruel....

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 03:20:59

I feel terrible for man.handling the sac & for popping it (sorry ....but that's how it felt as when the fluid came out it was no longer a firm round ball...just deflated tissue)
Do u think this is definitely the sac?? I think it must b

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:21:33

iME yes I think you've got through the worst part- though last time the pain was terrible for a good while. Life is cruel yes it really is hard to find sense at these times. Is your other half up with you now? You really should have someone with you....

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:24:13

It sounds likely I'm sorry , but I'm no doctor..... Glad pain is manageable

ratbagcatbag Wed 10-Apr-13 03:24:17

Haven't been through this, but hand holding, I like the idea of burying ithe sac and then maybe planting something over. Big hugs.

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 03:25:09

No,I don't want to wake him..we went thru terrible time at our 19week loss...he was amazing....but feel he needs sleep to b.there for the kids tomorrow...it's been such a hard 3 weeks...I was kept in hospital for a whole week,away from.kids...he had it hard...I'm ok, I have musket to get me thru the night & all u wonderful people Xxxxxx

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:26:44

Ok but if the pain gets any worse or bleeding gets out of control you must wake him! Sent you a PM btw

Spellcheck Wed 10-Apr-13 03:29:12

Unfortunately for me the pain didn't end there and I had to have an ERPC, but from obsessive extensive reading I know that for many, the worst is over at this point. It's different for everyone.

I also lost one at nearly 19 weeks and as soon as she slipped out, the pain stopped. It is truly hideous and I wish you well, with another sticky, healthy bean very soon xx

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:30:08

Please try and drink lots of water and hot drinks too....... You need to stay hydrated and warm,

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:31:44

Spellcheck so sorry too- and yes its just awful. flowers

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 03:33:48

He us just next door so will call him asap if I feel its got too bad xxx
Just given.in.& taken 2 co-codamol...altho pain us not nice...its still no worse than one if my bad period pains Xxxxxx

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 03:35:21

Thank u spellcheck xxx I hope so xxxx & so sorry for you too xxxx for all if u who have been thru losses xxxx

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:36:38

Well I'm glad the pain is not bad for now. Take care of yourself.

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 03:37:45

Thank u for all your kindness xxx

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:40:23

Jkb no worries- this is Mumsnet at its finest I think!

So sad we all seem to share this though, nobody should have to go through this.


Spellcheck Wed 10-Apr-13 03:40:51

Co-codamol good, pain just makes it all seem so much more awful. Some hot chocolate might be good too, doubleshot is right - keep warm! xx

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:42:59

Will you be able to get some rest tomorrow? Or is DP working? Can u call someone in morning?

Sunnywithshowers Wed 10-Apr-13 03:43:36

I'm sorry lovely, no experience but flowers

Look after yourself xxx

Spellcheck Wed 10-Apr-13 03:43:55

And thank you both for your kind words, it's a terrible time, just remember to allow yourself to grieve jkb however you wish for as long as you need to x

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:44:09

You will be exhausted for next couple of days :-(

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:44:57

Get a friend/ relative over?

Accentuatethepositive Wed 10-Apr-13 03:47:27

DD up agsin so I'm back. Glad you've taken some painkillers it's probably better to take them before it gets too bad, then hopefully it won't.

I think you are being very brave and considerate not waking your DP, but would echo others in saying do wake him if you need to I'm sure he won't mind.

So sorry this is happening when you have already been through a late loss. Can't imagine how that must have been.

Would it be impossible to sleep? If you can't actually sleep is there something comforting or distracting you can watch or listen to? A light movie you've seen lots of times before? Sorry if it sounds like a trivial idea but i watched back to back great British bake off on iplayer during my m/ c and found it very comforting! Plus took my mind off the pain.

jkb Wed 10-Apr-13 03:52:00

Doubleshot,I answered your pm but not sure it went thru....

Yes hubby works from.home & so hope to get some rest tomorrow...mum can help too....I have been exhausted for 3 weeks now since this nightmare begun...a week.in.hospital killed me...so hard to sleep.there.
Now I have taken painkillers & the sac had passed (was so.important for me to see it )...I'll try & snatch some sleep xxx thank u all xxx

doubleshotespresso Wed 10-Apr-13 03:54:52

Got it fine thanks. Ok good. Get some sleep and take the time you need. Good your mum will help. Again am thinking of you. X

Accentuatethepositive Wed 10-Apr-13 03:56:23

Hope you do get some rest. Will be thinking of you.

jkb Fri 12-Apr-13 00:05:22

This is short cos I'm in a lot of pain.
Is this pain normal? During the miscarriage I coped ok...just paracetamol....passed sac ...all ok..
All day yest all ok..just mild period cramps & paracetamol was fine...
Then since 10.this morning the pain has increased??? Co-codamol every 6 hrs & ibuprofen every 8 hours & I'm struggling to cope....it's contractions...building & then easing...every couple of minutes?
But I passed sac over 24hrs ago with mild pain..is it normal for pain to increase like this at this stage? Xx

queenofthepirates Fri 12-Apr-13 00:13:22

Call NHS Direct and have a chat with them x

jkb Fri 12-Apr-13 00:15:03

I have heard they r awful in.miscarriage situations sad

MrsLHofstadter Fri 12-Apr-13 00:18:35

Here for hand holding if needed but I didn't experience a great increase in pain after sac had passed so can't comment. Have you rang hospital etc for advice?

Hope someone in the know is up and will be along shortly.

jkb Fri 12-Apr-13 00:22:42

I'll b honest...I'm trying to NOT ring...especially at night...cos I just know the ward registra will say "come in" & that's the last thing I want...my little ones r in bed...do is sleeping...I don't want to disturb anyone...I'd like to try & at least make it thru till morning.bleeding us heavy...but manageable...have experienced heavier...so that is something?
Thank u for the hand holding mrsl Xxxxxx

MrsLHofstadter Fri 12-Apr-13 00:40:04

I understand you not wanting to go in at night and appreciate you being more comfortable at home in your own safe space.

See it out until morning if you can but please ring if you need to. Hope bleeding lessens and pain is manageable.

Any chance of sleeping? If so I'd get yourself tucked up in bed and try to sleep.

notfarmingatthemo Fri 12-Apr-13 00:47:45

Just read the thread lost one at 12 weeks. Big hug and holding your hand. I second what MRSLH said. Do call if you need to. Daytime here so here all night to listen but try and rest if you can.

jkb Fri 12-Apr-13 00:54:36

Thank u ladies xxxx sorry for your losses too Xxxxxx

I slept for hour then woke up again by the pain sad just done more hot water bottle...hope this helps...they like proper contractions...every few minutes? I'm bloody worn out of all this now xxx

Pancakeflipper Fri 12-Apr-13 01:00:42

Holding your hand. No advice at all, but got a virtual hot water bottle for you x

notfarmingatthemo Fri 12-Apr-13 01:01:18

I only ever had contractions when miscarrying. When I had my two girls I never went into labour so had two sections. So the pain I felt seamed like a waste. I had a d&c as that was standard then. If you are still in pain in the morning I think you are going to have to go and get a scan to check that everything has gone sad I know they don't want to give you a d&c and I understand why it wasn't worth the risk but there may be drugs that can help or stop an infection.

Shellywelly1973 Fri 12-Apr-13 01:09:00

Op. Im so sorry your going through this, you've been through so much, its really not fair.

I would give the hospital a call tomorrow.

Sending you hugs. Try to rest tonight. Take care. X

jkb Fri 12-Apr-13 01:17:57

Thank u ladies xxx I don't know what I'd do without u xxxx its so lonely being in pain like this at night xxx god...I'm laying het wishing for gas & air! Lol hate the stuff..but wouldnt say no at the moment

toffeelolly Fri 12-Apr-13 02:17:26

Do give hospital a ring tomorrow if pain is no better , know what you are going through happened twice with me , but mine never came away had to go in and have d&c. I am thinking of you hope the pain goes soon, do take it easy. x

Pancakeflipper Fri 12-Apr-13 08:21:51

How was the early hours of the morning for you JKB?

jkb Fri 12-Apr-13 10:02:33

Awake till 4am...then finally fell asleep....think pains r building again this morning despite pain releif....

Accentuatethepositive Sat 13-Apr-13 05:03:50

Hi OP I just checked in to see if there were any updates and saw you have been suffering lots of pain. I don't know whether what you describe is anything to worry about but hope things have improved a bit and/ or you've got yourself some medical assistance. Hope you're OK.

jkb Sat 13-Apr-13 20:21:08

I have just got home from hospital. The pain got out of control on Friday morning.Despite all the pain releif ,it was like a full on labour & I couldn't cope anymore.
After hours of pain in a & e they finally gave me IV pain releif & admited me. My scan showed I have passed the pregnancy,but show a huge clot stuck behind my cervix & that's why my womb has gone crazy.bloods also showed I have an infection starting & so I'm on antibiotics. I'm now home thankfully.....with really strong pain releif as she felt my womb will start off contracting & trying to expel again! sad
She also gave meisoprostel to try & help it along....as they really don't want to do an ERPC.

So finally,with pain controlled,I'm off to bed soon as I feel the most tired i have ever been.
I couldn't have got thru both my miscarriage night or the other night without.u all xxxxxxxx

toffeelolly Sat 13-Apr-13 20:33:15

Glad you got sorted, just take it easy and rest well, hope you feel better soon. Take care. x

Accentuatethepositive Sat 13-Apr-13 23:11:51

Oh I'm so sorry to hear you've been through such a rough time. But glad you finally got the medical help you needed. Really hope it's enough and you'll soon be feeling a bit better, physically at least. Look after yourself, or better still get someone else to look after you. Thinking of you still.

jkb Sun 14-Apr-13 03:02:06

I am awake again,not in pain as meds working..but from constant nightmares..
I'm too scared to go back to sleep even tho I'm exhausted...they r the most real & upsetting dreams....I am actually crying now...I've never had dreams effect me like this...in the dream my life was over,I had been taken to prison...someone had hacked my identity..gone on fb & threatened & abused everyone...they all believeed it was me & reported me to police.the hackeer had ad also commuted crimes,all in my name...I was taken away for life in prison & only my hubby & sister & kids believed me...but the hacker was so clever they would never b able to free me...my life was over...
The emotions & fear this has set off r awful...I know its not real..I know this is down to morphine & cocktail of meds they put me on...but I can't believe how it's made me feel...I'm exhausted & want to sleep...but can't take anymore sadness & fear in these dreams. I feel I've really physically hit rock bottom ....
I just needed to share this,writing it to distract me....know if I go back asleep these endless nightmares will start again

jkb Sun 14-Apr-13 03:06:48

I'm awake again sad
No pain,that's under control at the moment. But the horrific nightmares have left me really upset & frightened to go back to sleep. I know they r not real,but they have left me with an awful.fear feeling & sadness...they weren't about mypregnancy...they were about someone stole my identity & attacked family thru facebook & all family believed (apart frommy sister,hubby n kids) it was me & turned against me...it went deeper..all my cash,crimes commited...all in my name....so was arrested & removed from my family forever wiv no way to prove I were innocent..they had coveted their tracks so well..my.life was over.....
I now can't stop crying...it's really upset &frightened me to sleep....I know it's caused by morphine & all crap I been given..but it's the worst dreams....real-lifeffear I have felt....& this dream was only one of them...I've had one after the other....I'm exhausted

jkb Sun 14-Apr-13 03:10:41

Sorry for double post....it didn't post first time! & seemed to say I wasn't logged in & deleted it!! So wrote again...now it's posted both?! Apologises...u don't want to read my messed upness twice ! Xxx

fuckwittery Sun 14-Apr-13 03:13:55

Hi, offering you a hand to hold here. Dream sounds awful. Tell me a nice or funny story about your children to take your mind off things?

Gumps Sun 14-Apr-13 03:17:33

More hand holding. Poor poor you OP. maybe get up watch some tv or read a book to try and clear your head of the dream?

lemontruffles Sun 14-Apr-13 03:29:29

Hi jkb, another hand to hold here too. I'm so sorry to read about your loss.

Can you find something gentle to read so that even if you can't sleep much, your mind can be distracted by something pleasant? Your dreams sound very distressing, and you must be sooo tired; grief is exhausting. Gentle kindness really helps.

And it's a very old fashioned thing, but I always find a cup of sweet tea is soothing.

I hope you manage to relax soon; and hope the pains go.

jkb Sun 14-Apr-13 03:29:29

Thank u for handholding xxx I can't focus,feel like I'm going crazy...tv on...but know I'm gonna fall asleep soon,can't keep eyes open sad & I know more stupid dreams r going to come..I just want a peaceful sleep

lemontruffles Sun 14-Apr-13 03:34:41

Oh, poor you, racing thoughts are no fun especially when you're so tired sad

Maybe try to focus on a couple of very peaceful words, and repeat them to yourself? Maybe words like 'calm' and 'sleep' and 'peace'? Just gently shift your thoughts onto these words before sleep comes? I've used this sort of focusing when I've been very stressed with my mind racing, and it does help.

Jenijena Sun 14-Apr-13 04:24:30

Handholding here too. Echoing the thoughts that maybe something nice to read or listen to? Can you find a podcast to listen to that will fill your mind of something less bad dream provoking?

GiraffesAndButterflies Sun 14-Apr-13 04:48:07

Poor you OP. sad flowers I don't have anything new to suggest but didn't want to read and run. Hope you are ok flowers

Accentuatethepositive Sun 14-Apr-13 05:12:22

Oh no jkb that sounds horrible and scary. Holding your hand, is your DH there to hold it IRL? Otherwise I can only suggest a warm milky drink and a comforting read- I often resort to children's books at stressful times. Hope you're sleeping now.

mirai Sun 14-Apr-13 06:18:14

Poor thing, sending you a big hug. Hope by now you're getting some sleep xxx thanks

jkb Sun 14-Apr-13 19:17:21

Thank u for all the company & support last night...I eventually fell back to sleep to b woken by contractions! Arhhhhhhh.
Took my pain releif & went back to sleep & dreams galore..this time I was raped!!! Horrific! This pain releif is shocking...if I don't take it I'm in agony...if I do I'm dreaming! Fedup.com

Accentuatethepositive Sun 14-Apr-13 20:33:40

Oh that's awful. Wishing you sweeter dreams tonight - have the contractions stopped yet?

Accentuatethepositive Mon 15-Apr-13 16:49:33

Hope you got some nightmare-free rest last night and that the pain is passing now. Thinking of you.

jkb Mon 15-Apr-13 22:35:07

Hi ladies xx

The nightmares r still happening...but thankfully not as vivid or distressing as before.
Bleeding really stemmed too...barely anything...then BANG..pains came out of nowhere this morning & within 10 minutes I was pouring with blood....the worst I have ever bleed....like a tap!? I passed 4 huge pieces of flesh looking stuff & several clots...the last one was size of my palm! (tmi..apologises)...just ad we were contemplating calling 999,finally...45 mins later...bleeding slowed....
Now..bleeding stopped again?
I'm thrilled this came out by itself...as d&c was last thing consultant wanted.but so much blood n bits? How can a womb hold all this? Consultant has warned me there may b some more of these "events"...altho she hopes the worst of it is over? Today's blood was worse than miscarriage.itself...all very frightening & confusing...scared to leave the house

Accentuatethepositive Tue 16-Apr-13 01:54:58

Oh dear, that sounds frightening. Can yu call the hospital to check whether you need to go back in? That does sound like heavy bleeding. Really hoping things get better for you soon.

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