Recurrent miscarriage testing and beyond.. Part 6.. Over here!

(995 Posts)
orangebowl Fri 28-Dec-12 18:55:56

We have filled up the last thread so here is the next.. Deep breath and grit your teeth for the roller coaster of emotions that continues... Hope tea and butterfly and all find it!

orangebowl Fri 28-Dec-12 18:57:00

So I will start off with an update on what was supposed to be my 6 week scan today... Turns out they changed it to Monday but I never got the letter.. Nice 2 hour round trip for no reason there then!

butterfly86 Fri 28-Dec-12 20:05:56

Hi school found it i'm sure tea will be along soon!
Sorry you didn't get your scan today i know whats it's like when you have counted down the days to it and get yourself all geared up i'm keeping everything crossed for you on monday, would be nice with this being a new thread to kick it off with some good news and then hopefully the rest of us might follow..... X

iloveblue Fri 28-Dec-12 20:34:43

Hi - thanks for new thread school

No good news from me unfortunately.
Found out today at dating scan that baby hasn't made it. 13 wks - exactly the same stage as the last one. So it appears the medication made no difference. sad
I'm just over the 12 week cut-off so will have to go through medical management in hospital for the third time. So sad and angry - pretty sure that I'm not going to put myself through this again.

orangebowl Fri 28-Dec-12 21:12:05

Oh ilove. I'm so so so sorry. God it's awful and horrible and just not fair in any way. I hope you have some support with you right now. Thinking of you tonight. X

butterfly86 Fri 28-Dec-12 21:17:35

Oh iloveblue i'm so sorry, I know there's nothing I can say but just want you to know i'm thinking about you. I hope everything goes as straightforward as it can for you i mean that in the best possible way. I've never got quite as far as you but i understand all those feelings you will be having at the moment it's incredibly hard, keep strong and take care xx

teaandchocolate Sat 29-Dec-12 00:06:06

Hi everyone I've just found this thread so School thanks for starting it. But I am just so sad for Iloveblue.

Iloveblue I am really so sorry that this has happened to you again its so unfair and makes me so angry that we have to go through this especially at such a late stage. I hope you are coping and have support. Can you have an erpc so they can test the baby for chromosomal issues? I've had 2 erpcs & last one was tested and they found triploidy which helped explain it. I guess what I'm saying is that maybe there was another just random reason which won't happen again?

It's just not fair and I was so hoping it was going to work for you and you would be our success story. I really don't know if any of this ramble is helpful so sorry if not. Did you see your consultant at the scan? Did they have anything useful to say?

Keep posting on here. Thinking about you.

teaandchocolate Sat 29-Dec-12 00:13:10

Butterfly how are you doing? Hope you are feeling ok. Your posts sound really strong & positive.

School that's so annoying about the scan. It would drive me round the bend as I get in such a tizz about scans. Well done for not losing it with them - I probably would have done!! Really hope you get some good news on Monday - we definitely need some!

No news from me really. We are ttc again and I'm feeling a bit more calm than previous attempts and also enjoying time just me, DH and DD. although no idea how I will cope if I get a bfp. Trying not to think about it. Need to stop drinking though & eating rubbish but its a bad time of year for that..!

orangebowl Sat 29-Dec-12 12:24:56

Just thinking about you Iloveblue and wanted to say so.

Tea. Yes I was a bit annoyed but then just thought well in the scheme of things it's not a big deal.. Am however very very nervous about Mondays scan. If it goes ok I am pleased that try will scan me every 2 weeks but that is also pretty stressful in itself!

Another few days of over eating and drinking will be fine before ttc kicks off for you tea! I find it so annoying that I have been pregnant for about 8 months of the lat 2 years and during those times had to go trough all the rubbish pregnant stuff without even a baby to show for it. Humph.

Just had another read of the chapter of Lesley regans book about APS as well.

Xx

RileyTheLittleMonster Sat 29-Dec-12 15:18:53

Can i join please?
I've lost 3 babies since April at 23 (baby boy), 7 & 7 weeks. Also had 3 D&C'S, PID & now Over active tyriod, got to wait 3 months for tests to take place, I'm 18.. Partner is 25.

So sorry to hear about your loses, no one should have to go through it once let alone 3 times sad. thanks

butterfly86 Sat 29-Dec-12 18:01:01

Hi tea i'm doing ok thanks trying to be strong after the last mc i got quite down about things and have only recently felt more like my old self so don't want to let things get on top of me as hard as it is. As awful as this sounds this time hasn't been quite as bad i think it mite be because we had only known for a week so didn't have time to think about things too much either that or it hasn't hit me yet.
I'll keep my fingets crossed you get your bfp soon i see you are ttc again good luck x

Welcome Riley, so sorry for your losses, I've had 3 mc since march 9, 10 & 6 weeks. I've had 2 erpc and currently a natural mc. I've had basic tests done but have a app with my consultant next week so i'll ask whats the next step if there is one. There's some lovely ladies on here i'm sure you will get lots of support and some good advice x

GuppieK Sat 29-Dec-12 18:06:23

Hi all. Just thought I'd check in on this thread as haven't posted for a while.

Have had 3 mcs in the last year and a half, diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and will be given heparin for next one. Now trying to conceive again. The last 3 times I got pregnant on the third cycle. Third cycle has just come and gone this month so no such luck this time, although I've become used to this stuff not going as you'd like it to so no surprises really.

Iloveblue, I was sad to read your news. I dread it going wrong a fourth time, while on the treatment you hope will make the difference. I feel there is a limit to the amount of time and energy and emotion you can give to it, but then you hear of everything going fine for people after 5 or 6 mcs. It's hard to know when to give up. Do keep us updated on your news.

I'm just trying to enjoy being able to drink over the new year, trying not to be jealous of pregnant friends, trying not to stress about not conceiving quickly... None of it's particularly easy as you all know. x

iloveblue Sat 29-Dec-12 20:18:25

Hi all

So sorry butterfly I was so caught up in my own bad news that I didn't realise you have had another loss. Hope you are okay xx

Hi riley sorry to hear of your losses. My first loss was a baby boy at 20 wks so I know how awful it is to go through such a late loss. Have the doctors said if it is connected to your thyroid problems?

Hi to guppie. Glad to hear you have got a diagnosis, hope you get your BFP soon.

Thank-you for the kind words tea and school - I just can't believe I'm going through this again.
I've been into hospital today for the first tablet and then will be admitted on Monday for medical management. The limbo is horrible.

The professor from Coventry has emailed me (I emailed them to update them) and wants me to come in for a consultation regarding what may have gone wrong this time and alternatives if we decided to try again.
He suggested that as my NK cells are so high it might be better to treat them before I become pregnant. Its something to think about maybe in the future but at the moment I need some time away from it all.

RileyTheLittleMonster Sun 30-Dec-12 15:08:20

Iloveblue- sorry to hear about your losses and that your medication isn't working. Hopefully they'll look into it more! My Gp thinks loosing my baby boy triggered my thyroid as I've lost 2 stone since then, but its not bugged. My appointment to see spevialist isn't until the 27th January.. Ive been really ill with it, sometime my partner has to carry me out of bed because Im to weak to stand! My 2nd mc i didnt no I had a thyroid problem, I think my last two may be down to it.

Thank you butterfly, I really hope they can help you. I've only had a chromosome test after my first loss at 23 weeks. Spoke to my lecturer who is also a midwife, she said they do loads of test.. which are whether your compatable with your partner, natural killer cells and aparebtly abnormal sperm can be a problem.. which my partner has due to smoking. Hope they find answer soon. X

butterfly86 Sun 30-Dec-12 22:44:32

Iloveblue- i hope your consultant can get you on the right treatment soon x

Riley- I wonder if they will do any more tests on me now i do hope so. I'm interested in the abnormal sperm due to smoking I've not heard that before but my partner is a smoker. Can that cause mc?
I hope they can sort your thyroid out for you can you not be seen sooner you shouldn't have to suffer feeling so unwell xx

RileyTheLittleMonster Sun 30-Dec-12 23:53:32

Butterfly, I'm not sure if it can cause mc. But they advice you not smoke(makes it lazy) so your sperm sits thee. Drink makes it swim in circles. They can have two head ot tails. Type in abnormal sperm for images. x

teaandchocolate Mon 31-Dec-12 07:17:52

Iloveblue I hope it goes as well as it can today. Will be thinking about you. Let's hope 2013 is a better year for all of us.

Riley welcome! And so sorry to read your story, must be absolutely heartbreaking. I am terrified of a later loss - mine were at 12, 9 & 7 weeks so I've been 'lucky' in that sense but I know someone who had a triploidy pregnancy like me and didn't find out til the 20 weeks scan and that must just be devastating. Anyway I hope you find some answers and regardless you will definitely get some support here!

Butterfly glad you're doing ok. I know what you mean about getting used to mc. I am so tough to it now it its depressing! Although each one feels different and I never know how I'm going to feel on a daily basis. I have 3 very close friends who are now heavily pregnant and I'm finding it so hard to see them, just thinking 'it should be me'. Although most of the time I manage to just get on with things. No idea what I'll be like now we're ttc again but I guess January is a good time to avoid people!!

Guppie hello! Let's hope we can support each ttc again. Must be nice to know there is some treatment for you to try next time? Does it feel reassuring?

Happy new year everyone!! Praying for healthy babies all round in 2013!

SophieBirkBirk Mon 31-Dec-12 13:44:57

Tea: what's a triploidy pregnancy? Sorry to hear about your losses, no matter what stage it still hurts sad

teaandchocolate Mon 31-Dec-12 14:18:39

They just found a chromosomal abnormality when they tested the tissue after my erpc. Apparently it's when the foetus has 3 of every chromosome instead of 2.

orangebowl Mon 31-Dec-12 16:30:47

Welcome Riley and guppie. Hope you are feeling welcome smile

Ilove. Hope you are doing ok today.

I had my scan and saw a heartbeat. Looks to be about 6 weeks which is what I thought I was so so far so good. Got given the heparin to start injecting- did the first one there today. Happy web have a start..

So now it's just to get through the next few weeks without going mad!

Tea.. When will you be testing next then? Few more weeks I guess?

X

GuppieK Tue 01-Jan-13 15:37:52

teaandchocolate - It would be lovely to have someone to share the probable frustrations of trying to conceive and if successful the nerves of being pregnant again with! It feels like forever ago I was last pregnant, although it's only been 6 months (waited 3 for the tests).

I have mixed feelings about them having found the Factor V Leiden as my consultant wasn't hugely reassuring that the heparin would necessarily help. She basically said some hospitals think it helps and prescribe, some don't but that she thinks it's worth trying until 3 months pregnant. But she said she asked the hematology dept at what point they think it should be stopped and they said it wasn't proven to help anyway so it doesn't really matter when it's stopped..! I've also read a lot online that FVL can cause a late loss if blood clots form in the umbilical cord, and that scares me. But I guess despite all that, I am glad something will be different about the next pregnancy, if we get there.

Schooldilemas - Congrats on your success so far. It's great news there's a heartbeat :-) Do you mind me asking why you're on heparin? Do you have a clotting condition too? Do you know how long you're going to be taking it for? Totally agree with what you said about being pregnant for all that time in total and nothing to show for it! It's such a bummer, plus hard not to feel a bit in limbo when planning for the future. For instance, I'd normally be applying for jobs at the moment as my current one is going nowhere, but I feel I'm too focused on TTC to be committed enough to a new job.

iloveblue - I hope you're doing okay. I guess it's positive that this expert thinks they might be able try something different next time. Were you being treated for the high NK cells already for this pregnancy but they're saying they could start treating for them before the pregnancy has begun next time? It's so sad and cruel what you've experienced but you sound wise to say to need time away from it all for now.

Hi to everyone else and looking forward to hearing everyone's news and - fingers crossed - successes. x

SophieBirkBirk Tue 01-Jan-13 16:10:16

School Thank you smile. I'm Riley by the way, changed my name. x

orangebowl Tue 01-Jan-13 16:18:30

Hi Guppie,
dont mind you asking at all smile yes i have been diagnosed to have Antiphospholipid syndrome (APS)- some people call it sticky blood- after my 4th miscarriage. My consultant said same as yours that there is significant evidence that asprin helps but not conclusive evidence that adding heparin does so it was up to me if i wanted to have that too. i did some googling and looks like the main place to think that asprin with heparin is better based on research is St Marys- lesley regan has done research where the results showed that for patients with APS. taking just aspirin live birth rate rose from 10% to 40% but adding heparin as well as aspirin it rose to 70%.
as i say that was one study- a few others have shown similar and some show no difference.
but given lesley regan is the leader in the field and also that there are no adverse affects I just thought that i would cover all bases and take heparin too.

i agree that everything seems to stop- I guess we only have so much energy (emotionally) and this takes so much out of you that it's difficult to add work etc. into the mix.

x

GuppieK Tue 01-Jan-13 17:40:44

That's interesting research Schooldilemas. It sounds like it's definitely worth trying as well as aspirin. My consultant didn't say to take aspirin as well - she said it was something they used to advise and now don't. But I think, from what I've read, the advice has only changed about taking it while trying to conceive - ie it could reduce your chance of conceiving. It seems to still be a good thing to do once you're pregnant, especially if you have a known clotting problem. I'll speak to her once I get there again, but I think I'll do both. Are you taking 75mg aspirin or a higher dose?

Anyway, I should probably just be concentrating on getting pregnant again first..! Despite our best efforts (!) it is proving elusive. A bit annoyingly, miscarriage seems to have knocked my cycles a bit out of whack so that probably doesn't help...

teaandchocolate Tue 01-Jan-13 19:24:25

School thats fab news about the scan and a hb!! I think I'll be testing in a few weeks. Expecting to ovulate this week although my cycles can be pretty erratic so who knows. Just can't imagine getting excited about a bfp. Really scary!!

Also can't believe its 2013 and still no baby! Suddenly felt a bit panicked that I'm getting old and its been a whole year and no closer to another baby. Not helped by everyone else giving birth left right & centre! (Not literally.. wink)

Guppie let's stress together! I completely agree that mc makes it hard to focus on anything else. As I expected to be on mat leave this year it's kind of thrown my plans out and I was finding it really hard to get motivated about my job. But I don't feel I get concentrate on a new one as too much else going on. Although it is nice to worry about something other than mc!

Also interested to hear about the research into aspirin and heparin. It's mad that there's no conclusive evidence about their effectiveness and that we all seem to have to do our own research about all of this. Just so frustrating!

Anyway hope you all had fun last night

orangebowl Tue 01-Jan-13 21:55:55

Just a quick one to say yes aspirin is just from the point of BFP as apparently can interfere with implantation. My consultant ha also prescribed high dose folic acid (5miligrams, usual dose when there are no issues is 400micrograms so over ten times usual dose). Off to bed now as first day back at work after 10 days off tomorrow.. Yuk Sunday night feeling magnified!

SophieBirkBirk Wed 02-Jan-13 14:45:59

Just got a letter through from the reccurent miscarriage nurse, my appointments on 7th March! So far away sad. Partner has to come to why is this? How long does it take to get results back after? X

twentythirteen Wed 02-Jan-13 15:42:12

Hi, can I join?

Sorry to arrive with questions but I just rang the epu to make my appt next week for the 6 week blood test and get the results of the kerotyping. It was a bad line and the nurse sounded rushed so I didn't keep her, but she said she was going to speak to my consultant as I might need an additional blood test. Does anyone know what this could be?

My brief history: I mc'd in november 2011 at 7 weeks, in March 2012 at 11 weeks and had an mmc identified at the 12 week scan november 2012. I've been assigned to a consultant for the next pregnancy. It was hard to recover physically from the march mc and I bled for two months but this time I've recovered quickly and am having a normal AF now so am glad about that.

I haven't tracked down the previous thread so don't really know you all but wanted to add my sympathy for Iloveblue.

Like someone else on here mentioned, it's mind blowing to have been pregnant so much (31 weeks!) in the space of a 12 month period.

twentythirteen Wed 02-Jan-13 16:13:09

My question was just answered by a call from the nurse who'd spoken to the consultant. The results of my last pregnancy show that there was a chromosomal abnormality and they now want to test both of us to learn more. I don't whether to feel glad that they found something or whether it's the begining of the end as in perhaps we cannot have a child. Any experience/knoweldge on here about this?

iloveblue Wed 02-Jan-13 16:21:04

Hi everyone

Glad to hear the scan went well school - fingers crossed it continues to go well. I'm sure you've said before but at what stage have your previous losses been?

Guppie I was on steroids for the high uNK cells this time (as well as Clexane and progesterone), but at 17% my results are high (5% is upper limit of normal) and I think the dose I was on was just not strong enough. So yes consultant suggested taking steroids to correct the nk cells before pregnancy. I will find out more when i go and see them.
I don't know if we will be trying again - I need some time off, a year ideally. And then maybe will re-evaluate.

The medical management went as well as it could have done - my body seems to be pretty efficient at miscarriage sad and I'm not bleeding too heavily now. Still feeling up and down and very tired, which is to be expected.

sophie Myself and DH both had karyotyping blood tests after our 3rd mc so maybe this is why they need DP to be there. It helps identify if there are any genetic issues causing a problem. 7th March does seem a long way away - these things do seem to drag on. At least you can use this time to get your body ready for another pregnancy, and do all the research you can.

Hi twentythirteen sorry to hear of your losses. Regarding the additional test - what tests have you had so far?

twentythirteen Wed 02-Jan-13 16:36:35

Thanks for responding Iloveblue, I appreciate you have so much more important things on your mind right now.

I'm guessing from what you wrote that I'm at the same stage as sophie but somehow missed your post S. We haven't had any other tests aside from the karyotyping. We'd been feeling comforted by the knowledge that we can get pregnant, I'm now worried that I can't carry a child beyond 12 weeks.

teaandchocolate Wed 02-Jan-13 19:20:12

Sophie I agree with iloveblue that they probably want your DP there so they can do karyotyping on both of you. I think this really only checks for something called balanced translocation where one of your chromosomes is incomplete (or something along those lines!) but the genetic counsellor I saw said it doesn't check for every possible chromosomal abnormality. Anyway I also think its a good idea to take DP anyway just so you have a second pair of ears in case any of it doesn't make sense. Although to be honest they will probably just take your full history, blood and talk about next steps.

Twentythirteen welcome! Sorry you find yourself here sounds like you've had a really tough time and I'm so sorry for your losses. One of my mc also tested positive for a chromosomal abnormality called triploidy where there are 3 of every chromosome instead of 2. Apparently it's thought to be the most common cause of mc and isn't supposed to be heredity so I have as much chance as everyone else of it reoccurring. Although I am a bit suspicious as I've had 3 mc and various tests which were clear so likely they were all chromosomally abnormal which seems ridiculously 'unlucky'. But who knows!! Anyway fwiw I had a mmc then my DD then another mmc (triploidy) then a mc. So it seems it was just luck that DD was 2nd pregnancy rather than 4th. I guess what I'm trying to say is dont give up hope! Although to be honest I can't really take my own advice on that one...!

SophieBirkBirk Wed 02-Jan-13 20:02:16

Sorry I don't know much, what is Karyotyping? My DP was going to come anyway for support. My Tutor is a part time Midwife and she said the tests they will be doing are compatibility (whether your compatible with partner), blood clotting, chromosome (we've already had this due to first late loss). Quite bizzare never thought I'd have to this but yet no-one does!

twentythirteen sorry to hear about you're losses over the past 12 months sad. It is mind blowing the past 12 months I've been pregnant with my 3 losses for 37 weeks (nearly full-term for most)! Good luck, make sure you keep trying until you get a healthy full-term baby grin thanks

I have a gross question to ask blush. I had my 3rd D&C just under 2 weeks ago , after my 2nd I got diagnosed with Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID). I haven't bled since and i have alot of discharge (red, brown, peach, yellow) and (watery, stick and its started to be lumpy).. Is this normal? Last two times i bled a week after and AF came 4 weeks later. x

twentythirteen Wed 02-Jan-13 21:35:38

Sophie, I'm not an expert, but that doesn't sound good. I how you can get yourself checked out???

And thanks guys, I'm feeling reassured. We have just resigned ourselves to another year of trying anyway, and I feel like I've learned how to manage the losses so I'm braced and ready!

Zacsmum80 Thu 03-Jan-13 04:21:05

Sorry to butt in on this thread but some of your messages have got me thinking about my own mc and results I was given from consultant.
I had mmc at 20 weeks although my boy had gone to sleep at 16 weeks. After the delivery I was given options for numerous tests, chromosome (agreed to but wasn't done), postmortem (I declined), had lots of blood tests but wasn't really told what they tested for and test on placenta which came back showing that my blood was clotting and that was PROBABLY the cause of mc and that in my next pregnancy she would prescribe 75mg aspirin once I had a viability scan. Consultant wasn't very clear and didn't mention APS or FVL just that my blood was clotting. After reading this thread I'm concerned that maybe I do have one of the above and it just hasn't been explained to me properly.
My app with consultant was back in September but I was so upset with her that I couldn't ask questions, just wanted to get outta there....
Consultation room was in same department as scan dept which upset me while I waited.
I cried....she told me I was depressed!!
I asked to see the photos of Zac....glanced and put them back in the envelope because they were horrid and scared me and she pulled them out and shoved them in my face
She wasn't clear about anything, didn't know why the chromosome tests weren't carried out and said she would follow it up then wrote to me a week later telling me wasn't done but didn't tell me the reason why.
Sent me a copy of the letter she sent to my GP saying I was depressed, it was full of spelling mistakes and even missed a word out and then pencilled it in afterwards (which I know isn't anything to worry about but just shows how unprofessional she were)

OMG just realised I have wrote a huge rant when all I wanted do was ask what tests you guys had to determine the causes of your mc's and the conditions you unfortunately have?

Hugs to you all and I hope 2013 is a better one for each of you

Laura xx

iloveblue Thu 03-Jan-13 10:56:10

Hi zacsmum

So sorry to hear of your experience sad- that consultant sounds horrendous.
I had a similar experience - my first miscarriage was a little boy at 20wks, who passed away at 17 wks.
There is a RCOG green top paper here which is really useful. It says it is for recurrent miscarriage but if you read from p6 onwards it talks about the tests/investigations recommended after a late mc too.
It might be worth giving the consultants secretary a ring and ask for a list of the tests you had and the results - she should be able to find this info for you.

Its worth bearing in mind that blood clotting disorders are often difficult to diagnose and don't always show up on tests.
I would have thought that you should be on Clexane injections (blood thinner) next time as well as aspirin.
Whereabouts are you in the country?

orangebowl Fri 04-Jan-13 21:33:45

Hi everyone. Just checking in to see how everyone is now all the Xmas madness has passed.

How are you iloveblue? You got some time off work? Hope so.

I am fine but now have legs full of bruises from the heparin injections (not complaining) and tonight I seem to have a headache. Humph.

Night all. X

butterfly86 Sat 05-Jan-13 17:00:44

Hi school glad you are doing ok!
I'm ok mc is over now had app with my consultant yesterday, she scanned me to check it was complete which it was, we are no further foward with regards to tests etc. She said she has done them all when I asked about chromosomal tests she said she could tests the tissue if she had it which is a bit annoying as had erpc previous 2 losses and could have saved everything but I wasn't under this cons then and they wouldn't test because I hadn't had 3! Didn't mention tests on us, she said the chances of us having a live baby are still really high so as long as we have the strength just try again when we are ready, I'm dissapointed a bit that she isn't going to do more investigations but on the other hand I feel better for chatting to her I really trust her and she has a strange calming effect on me. She wants to see me again in 6 weeks not sure why but I'm not complaining gives me another. chance to ask questions!

Hope everyone else is doing ok! X

teaandchocolate Sat 05-Jan-13 22:31:14

Hi everyone! Sorry I meant to post sooner.

Sophie - karyotyping is when they check the chromosomes of both partners for abnormalities that can cause mc. I think they mainly (or only?) look for balanced translocations so even if that's all clear there can still be other issues. As you can probably tell I'm no expert but found Lesley Reagans book about mc quite helpful for a general overview. I would also say go back to your GP and get checked for an infection (maybe thrush or bacterial vaginosis) as I don't think unusual discharge is necessarily normal. Although I doubt its serious.

Zacsmum so sorry for what you've been through. I don't have any experience of tests for late mc but if youre not happy with your consultant can you speak to your GP maybe about seeing someone else or at least to find answers to your questions? Or can you see someone privately? I saw a consultant privately but then he tested me on the nhs. One appointment isn't usually too bad and you could just go with a list of questions?

School how far are you now? How are you feeling? Is it awful injecting?!

Butterfly I've had a very similar experience. I've seen about 3 consultants now in various guises and none have really offered me any groundbreaking tests over what the nhs will do. They all think my 3 mc were bad luck and were not keen for me to have more controversial tests like nk cells, despite one of the cons carrying out those tests himself. It's so frustrating isn't it as you kind of want someone to say 'right we are jut going to keep testing for things until we find the problem'! But they don't. I am glad in a way they've not found anything and also that they're all so positive but its not then that have to keep ttc, getting pregnant and losing babies!

orangebowl Sun 06-Jan-13 20:40:23

Hi everyone.

Zacsmum. I'm so so sorry to hear about what happened. Tea and butterfly have given great info and I don't really have anything useful to add to that- hope we can provide some support over the coming months.

Butterfly. I'm glad you're feeling better after talking to the consultant.

Tea I am now 7 weeks. Been a week since my scan and got another one in a weeks time (every 2 weeks). I'm getting used to the injecting now. I started in thighs but was getting massive bruises so last 2 days have done in tummy and that's much better (plenty of cushioning there!). It will be worth it if it works.. If it doesn't work I will be bruised as well as p*ssed off and upset!

We have seen heartbeat and got to 8 weeks twice before.. Furthest baby grown is to 9.5 weeks so next 3 weeks will be pretty crucial for me. My biggest fear is getting to 12 wks and it all ending in later miscarriage.. But hey let's not imagine things that haven't happened yet I guess.

First full week at work starting tomorrow so thinking I will Wr ino bed and watch a bit of rubbish tele. Night night

pebspop Mon 07-Jan-13 11:09:39

just a quick message for school i find doing the injections in my stomach (anywhere above my belly button) keeps the bruising to a minimum.

If i do legs or lower stomach i get big bruises.

orangebowl Mon 07-Jan-13 19:51:58

Thanks pebs. I'm now finding that to be true. I tried a new tactic today of pushing needle in slowly instead of stabbing it in.. Ouch that wasn't a good move!

teaandchocolate Mon 07-Jan-13 22:29:59

Hang on in there school! Keeping everything crossed for you. I know how stressful & horrible early pregnancy is and can imagine injecting yourself is probably not adding much to the situation! Especially as you can't exactly try to forget about it. But hopefully it will all be worth it.

I'm already feeling anxious and not even at the 2ww yet...keep feeling the naturally excited about ttc then remembering that its not really exciting for me as most of the time getting pregnant doesn't get me anywhere. Can't stand it!! Anyway will keep you posted on my progress!!

pebspop Tue 08-Jan-13 11:02:58

i always push them in slowly school i am too scared to stab it in!

i just kind of place it gently on my skin and eventually it goes in - sounds horrible but i am used to it now.

orangebowl Tue 08-Jan-13 20:24:36

Thanks tea. I'm just trying to think about only the next scan and keep adding in my head "and if we get through that one.." So as to try and by get too carried away. I did crack and work put my due date though.. 25th aug..

Ha pebs I reverted to stabbing like a dart (without the throwing obviously!) tonight and was much better!

X

orangebowl Tue 08-Jan-13 20:26:06

Sorry tea also meant to say I know that feeling of fear/dread/excitement... But I think it was you (maybe?) that once said to me you've got to be in it to win it.. wink

teaandchocolate Tue 08-Jan-13 21:19:02

Ha yes that was me! And also me that said I cannot take my own advice! Argh!

butterfly86 Wed 09-Jan-13 22:25:50

Hi hope everyones ok I haven't been on for a few days Tea I know what you mean about wanting them to do more tests I did expect her to say oh well now you've had 3 we will do x y & z but she didn't, when I go back I'm going to ask what her views are on nk cells and the like. How are you feeling now you are ttc again?

School - keeping everything crossed for you I know these few weeks are going to be tough and they will drag for you but so far so good hopefully all the injections will be worth it x

Ps did anyone see one born every minute tonight there was a girl giving birth who had had 3 miscarriages and an ectopic she said "I thought I'd never be a mum"....I cried my eyes out! As hard as it is always have faith x

teaandchocolate Thu 10-Jan-13 09:16:23

I feel a bit rubbish already to be honest. Not sleeping well and getting headaches which I think are subconscious stress - not actively stressing about it but feel quite moody & miserable and do think its all due to ttc and the fear of another mc. I think I've ovulated so on the 2ww (I think - have silly cycles due to pcos).

I can't watch obem anymore!! Too sad seeing all those yummy new borns. Got it on series link though so might watch when I'm braver..or when I fancy a good cry!

butterfly86 Thu 10-Jan-13 10:23:06

I think no matter how hard you try not to stress it's inevitable you just can't help it it's the panic of why isn't it happening like now! And when it does happen is it all going to go wrong, it's sad that the enjoyment is gone from it all it was all hunky dory when we first ttc it will never be like that again.
I couldn't watch the last series of obem so I don't know why I'm doing it to myself but there's quite often people on there that have been in our situation and I like to see a happy ending hoping it's me one day. Mind you I do cry all the way through so maybe it is just an excuse for a blub!!

orangebowl Thu 10-Jan-13 10:40:30

Oh sorry you are feeling bad today tea. It's jus a roller coaster isn't it with one day feeling all positive and the next like it will never happen hmm

I also cant quite bring myself to watch OBEM - I used to love it but not anymore.. One day if I ever get to 4 months pregnant I will watch again.

Chin up tea

teaandchocolate Thu 10-Jan-13 19:00:17

Thanks School and Butterfly. It's true it is like a rollercoaster. I felt vaguely excited when I thought I'd ovulated but I think I'm just subconsciously stressing to be honest as I try not to think about it and keep busy but I'm sleeping so badly & am so oversensitive that I think it must be ttc.

I can't bear what a long process this all is. Wish we just knew straight away whether the pregnancy will work!! I think ultimately the only way I'll feel content again is if I get a baby or if I become happy with the idea of just one child. Otherwise all I can see is this emotional rollercoaster with a general feeling of being on edge all the time!

Sorry if I sound miserable, I'm really not that bad just feel a constant low level anxiety which has sort of been around since my 2nd mc! Anyone know what I mean? It's like my brain is on overdrive!!

ArkadyRose Sat 12-Jan-13 16:56:05

Hello ladies, just coming to join you after MC no.4. I had to have an ERPC on Wednesday when it all went wrong at my 12-week scan (I guess if you're going to have an MC, the EPAU is probably the best place for it to happen), and we're starting on all the testing - it was only my second recurrent MC, but I'm 40 and there's a family history of recurrent MC (my mother had 10 MC before she had me, and my youngest sister has had 8; my DD1 has had a MC too so we think there's something genetic going on).

I was wondering, how long after ERPC/D&C do you usually have to wait before doing the tests for karotyping? We're going to leave at least 2 cycles before TTC again. I do have children already so I know I can have kids - I just seem to be having real problems giving DD3 a little sibling. sad

IRCL Sat 12-Jan-13 19:08:07

Can I join? I am 22 DP is 26.

1st MC with DP was in Jan 2012 early one at 6 weeks. Second was in April, that one was a MMC, should of been 11 weeks little one only measured 8+3 and the last one was in July/Aug at 6 weeks, heartbeat was seen but EPU nurse said it was rather on the slow side. (God that seems a long time ago!) Been trying ever since!

Went to the GP who ordered a load of blood tests which all came back normal, referred to the local gynae at the hospital, appointment on the 30th Jan! Any idea what will happen?

Sorry to hear abut everyone's stories, it really is shit. sad

teaandchocolate Sat 12-Jan-13 19:30:54

Hi ArkadyRose and IRCL and welcome to the group! So sorry that you've found yourself here. Yes it's just shit really! But everyone here is really lovely so hopefully you'll get lots of support.

ArkadyRose you can test for karyotyping at any time as it checks your chromosomes which don't change. It's only the clotting tests which can be affected by pregnancy hormones. I made them take our bloods for clotting when I was at the hospital having a scan to confirm my mc as the results take a while to come back, so its worth getting them done ASAP.

IRCL so sorry to hear about your losses. It is so hard especially if you don't have dc already. Hope you're doing ok. I didn't have an official appointment with a rmc clinic as I've seen different consultants privately and on the nhs. However the nhs will usually do karyotyping tests on you and dp which is when they check your chromosomes for problems that can be passed on. They also do thrombophilia tests which check for clotting disorders that cause mc. So for these they will just take lots of blood. They will also take your history and maybe do a scan. Although someone else might be able to help more with this? There is guidance from the rcog which was linked to further up the thread I think and sets out the recommended tests for rmc. Also I found Prof Lesley Regans book on mc really helpful to refer to.

teaandchocolate Sat 12-Jan-13 19:32:29

here is the link to that guidance

orangebowl Mon 14-Jan-13 12:00:59

Hi all,
sorry ive been not around for a while. i'm working from home today as have my scan later for what should be 8 weeks so i can go on mumsnet without people seeing my screen for once!

Arkady and IRCL welcome and sorry you find yourselves here. again tea has answered your questions nicely and i cant add much- but this is a good place to come and chat when that emotional rollercoaster takes a dip.

So I am v. nervous yet again about my scan. Of the 4 previous miscarriages for 2 of them we have seen a heartbeat which has stopped - one at at 8.5 and 9.5 weeks..

i hate these few weeks!

teaandchocolate Mon 14-Jan-13 13:09:37

Good luck with your scan School! Will be thinking of you. Keep us posted please!

orangebowl Mon 14-Jan-13 18:34:03

All fine! Measuring 8+1 as expected. Now just the next few weeks to get through (heart always stopped beating between 8 and 10 weeks before)

teaandchocolate Mon 14-Jan-13 19:08:47

Yey that's fab news! It will be stressful over tbe next couple of weeks im sure but not long to go. I so hope it works out for you!

butterfly86 Tue 15-Jan-13 11:28:36

That's great news school! Not long to wait I know it will seem like an eternity for you though! Keeping my fingers crossed for you x

Tea how are you? X

ArkadyRose Tue 15-Jan-13 16:29:13

OH is quite heavily involved with Wikipedia and the Wikimedia Foundation, and this morning we got a condolences card signed by everyone in the WMF office. It had me in floods of tears. I was mostly OK up until now until I read all the messages, and then that was it - waterworks in full go.

And a friend who had deleted her FB account suddenly reappeared today, announcing she was having a homebirth and was probably in labour - and proceeded to post a blow-by-blow of every single twinge and speculation as to whether she's actually in labour or not. I just had to take her off my feed, because I really couldn't handle that right now.

butterfly86 Tue 15-Jan-13 18:14:56

Arkady sorry you are having a bad day :-( it's hard when you are feeling so fragile anything can set you off crying can't it, sometimes does you good though. That was lovely of them to send you a card, my aunt who had a baby die shortly after birth sent me a beautiful card and wrote some lovely words she said in there "the days will brighten again" and it's true it lessens a little with time.
I had to hide my sil from my news feed as couldn't cope with the constant updates we found out she was pg and the next day found out our baby had no hb, she is also the most insensitive person I know she loves to rub it in my face. You do what you need to to protect yourself it's sometimes just to tough to smile and be happy for others you need to greive. I hope it gets a little easier for you soon x

teaandchocolate Wed 16-Jan-13 11:44:45

Hi everyone.
Butterfly thank you for asking after me. I'm doing ok although I am feeling a bit stressed! I don't think I can test until the weekend but already symptom spotting and convinced I feel sick! But that might just be from worrying! God knows what I'll be like if I actually get a bfp!

ArkadyRose hope you're ok today. It's so hard when you have bad days - I still have plenty and last mc was 6 months ago! Facebook is so depressing and I keep debating whether to leave but to be honest there are enough reminders in normal life not sure it would make a difference. Nearly all of my closest friends are heavily pregnant and although they are very sensitive towards me its still really sad and I dread seeing them.

How's everyone else doing today?

butterfly86 Wed 16-Jan-13 15:15:30

Sorry you are feeling a bit stressed tea the 2ww is a bitch...in fact the whole month is a bitch you spend a week gutted your period arrived then wait what seems like ages to ovulatate and then 2ww again it's just just a vicious circle off stress! Hopefully you will find out either way soon, keep us posted. X

teaandchocolate Wed 16-Jan-13 18:56:27

I so know what you mean! I'm in a constant tizz worrying about not being pregnant, whether I've ovulated, whether we dtd enough, whether I might be pregnant and have another mc...argh! Just wish I could go to sleep and wake up with a newborn!! x

orangebowl Wed 16-Jan-13 19:58:24

Just checking in to say I get it too.. Going to sleep and waking up in labour.. Bliss! wink and in the meantime we are wishing our lives away.. Not good. X

teaandchocolate Wed 16-Jan-13 20:49:46

School you're so right I really shouldn't wish time away. I know I've really got to enjoy every second with DD as she's growing so fast and I don't want to look back at the past year and just think of being miserable. Feel quite guilty about that actually....one more thing to worry about!! <am a nutter>

orangebowl Thu 17-Jan-13 19:49:00

If you're a nutter then so am I! Am particularly wishing away the next 3 weeks ( around now is when the babies heartbeats usually stop so am extra nervous)

GuppieK Thu 17-Jan-13 20:46:51

teaandchocolate - I'm in exactly the same position as you at the moment I think. On day 25 of cycle today and tested this morning (cycle was 25 days last month but has been up to 33 days since last miscarriage... used to be like clockwork so v annoying!) and got a BFN. I've had days when I'm convinced I'm feeling sick or have a weird stitch-like pain that could mean something.

I feel like I don't really know my body as well since my mcs. Like I said, I used to be very regular, I could tell when I was ovulating, period pains lasted 24hrs and that was it. Nowadays I get period-like pains on and off throughout the month and have no idea when I'm ovulating or when my period will come. We've been DTD every other day pretty much throughout my cycle so think it's all we can do really. Good luck for when you test at the weekend. x

teaandchocolate Thu 17-Jan-13 20:48:04

I really hope it works for you this time School!

orangebowl Thu 17-Jan-13 21:03:36

Guppie it's true that miscarriages throw our bodies out weirdly. My consultant said something which made me think.. He said "stop thinking of your body like a machine, it's not a machine that works like clockwork.. Although its frustrating give your body time and its amazing how it will re- adjust". Really made me think.. I'd been counting days and spotting signs etc but my poor body has been trough so much that there is no wonder it was knocked out of its regular pattern.

I know it sucks.. Be kind to yourself.

Thanks tea. Me too (that's for me and for you smile) .

teaandchocolate Thu 17-Jan-13 22:32:55

Guppie sorry I think our posts crossed!

I'm on day 31! Think we're sort of opposite in that my cycles were always mental because of my pcos but they're actually generally shorter now & I know when I ovulate because of ewcm. They're still always over 32 days though. Never had a 28 day cycle in my life!

Although saying that, this month I had ewcm on day 20 which is pretty standard for me but then had it again a few days ago!

So im not sure what's going on but we only dtd around the 1st possible ovulation date. We were a bit half hearted about it to be honest & im not sure we did it enough! But I always get pregnant far too easily so am a bit blasé about the actual conception bit I think! It's the next few weeks that freak me out!

Anyway thanks for the good luck. I will keep you informed! So tempted to test tomorrow but feel should probably wait til Sunday as its 14 days after my probable ovulation date and when my period would normally come. Still feeling a bit queasy and have crampy pains so could go either way. Guppie I also get crampy 'feelings' all through my cycle. Do you think it's because we are now so much more aware obsessed with what's going on inside our bodies these days?

GuppieK Fri 18-Jan-13 10:49:13

Thanks Schooldilemas - those are wise words I think! It's funny that you take your cycles for granted I guess, especially if they've always been pretty predictable. But yes, it is a lot for your body to go through.

teaandchocolate, that's interesting you feel like you get more crampy feelings now too. I definitely think it could be because we're much more tuned into what's going on now... every little crampy feeling I wonder if it's ovulation or implantation or something..! They found I had a couple of small fibroids when they were doing my testing too, so I wonder if it could very coincidentally also be that they're suddenly causing a bit more pain.

Haven't totally lost hope for this month as I could be on a longer cycle and tested too early. But since I'm bursting into tears about everything today (on such a pretty snowy day AND I'm getting to work from home) I'm pretty sure I'm pre-menstrual!

teaandchocolate Sat 19-Jan-13 07:31:09

I just tested and it was negative sad used a first response so don't think it's too early. Although I do think maybe my cycle was weird & I didn't ovulate when I thought I did. Guess I'll find out when AF comes. Feel a bit frustrated that its going to take even longer but also relieved in a weird way as I do hate early pregnancy. Actually I am a bit sad its not happened as I was convincing myself I was pregnant.

GuppieK when are you testing again?

orangebowl Sat 19-Jan-13 08:17:17

Hi tea. Sorry hmm. Sorry if you have said before but when is AF due? on this cycle where I got pregnant I used first responses for what I thought was 3 days early (negative). 2 days early (negative ) ,1day early (negative). It wasn't until day period due I got faintest positive. Then the clearblue digis went up as expected...

teaandchocolate Sat 19-Jan-13 08:32:00

I think it's due tomorrow if I ovulated when i thought I did. But now thinking maybe I didn't. Been getting ewcm on and off for the past week so maybe cycles just messed up? If my dates are right I will know tomorrow when AF arrives. At least if it does it disprove my unfussy uterus theory! Feel like this has all been going on so long sad

GuppieK Sat 19-Jan-13 10:36:52

Sorry to hear it was negative teaandchocolate Do you feel like AF is coming? It's so disappointing, especially when you feel like you've had weird twinges and pains, which I've had quite a bit over the past few cycles and which have come to nothing. I think as Schooldilemas says, testing isn't always accurate until you're late and it's hard to know when late is if your cycles aren't that reliable. I wouldn't give up this month yet. I haven't quite although been having cramping for days now which would have used to mean AF very imminent! I guess I'll probably wait until day 32ish if nothing happens, so Thursday, in case I'm on a long cycle. If I am though, we probably didn't do it enough at the right time.

God, I remember years ago working with a woman who bored me silly talking about all this stuff for the 7 months she was trying to conceive. Now I'm going through it I'm suddenly a lot more sympathetic!

teaandchocolate Sat 19-Jan-13 10:55:53

Thanks Guppie. I know what you mean it's so boring isn't it! I drive myself mad trying to figure out what's going on. I feel a bit crampy so AF could be imminent. But then when I'm pregnant I'm also crampy! And usually when I use first response they're positive really early. Just want to know one way or the other so at least I can have a glass of wine if I'm not preg!! I swear I've been feeling nauseous but now thinking its all psychological!

When would your AF normally come-Thurs at the latest? Have you been testing quite a bit? It's such a long drawn out process isn't it?! And my DH just doesn't get it at all...soooo glad I can moan on here!!

GuppieK Sat 19-Jan-13 12:05:06

It is great to be able to moan to people who understand on here! My DH is good... but I couldn't speak to him, or many people, in so much detail really.

I don't remember getting cramps when I was pregnant before. I think I felt like AF wasn't coming. I only got the cramps just before it went wrong, so I really hope they're not a regular part of being pregnant if I get there again or I'll be a nervous wreck!

Thursday would be the latest mine has been - I think that would be 33/34 days - and if it's negative then I'll be very confused. I usually just test once or twice every month. On the day my AF is due and then maybe a few days later if it seems to be late.

I've got to say, I'm still drinking a little bit throughout the month. I started off being super good but it's just been so long now and I guess a little bit of me says, well not drinking anything while trying to conceive hasn't done a fat lot of good up until now! I feel like I've taken enough folic acid to sink a small ship too...

teaandchocolate Sat 19-Jan-13 13:23:06

I know - I'm rattling with the amount of vitamins and supplements I'm taking!! I am also trying to only have one cup of tea a day to reduce caffeine intake but finding it so hard as just want cups of tea all day to cheer me up! Not drinking as I'm too paranoid but to be fair it's only been a few weeks so far...

I've had cramping through all my pregnancies. Not so bad that I needed painkillers but just 'feelings' the whole time. I presumed it was just things going on inside & I also think I can feel my ovaries when I ovulate!

I would never talk to people in this much detail - don't think anyone would listen! My DH is rather useless to be honest as he really doesn't know what to say. Just tells me to make the most of and appreciate time with DD which just makes me feel guilty. Obviously I am so grateful for her but doesn't change the fact that I had a shit year last year and I can't just get over it as I've got to keep trying to get pregnant!! Ok rant over!

butterfly86 Sat 19-Jan-13 14:21:17

Sorry you got a negative tea :-( with my last pg I got a negative with first response, tested with supermarket own following day and got positive then did clearblue just to be sure so sometimes I don't think fr are as accurate as they say. Praying the test is wrong for you x

teaandchocolate Sat 19-Jan-13 16:00:42

Thanks Butterfly. That's really interesting as I thought first response were the best! I've only got one clear blue digital left at home and don't want to waste it so will wait a bit and if AF doesn't come will test again. But do think its very unlikely I'm preg. Treated myself to a cup of normal to tea to console myself <wild> wink

Thanks everyone for the support. Feel lucky to have this forum! x

orangebowl Sat 19-Jan-13 17:06:27

Make the most I normal tea! I'm Si jealous.. The thought if it makes me feel sick and I'm normally a lots of cuppas a day girl.. Hot blackcurrant is my replacement but just isn't the same. #alwayssomethingtomoanabout

butterfly86 Sat 19-Jan-13 19:08:46

I've been very naughty and had a cup of coffee the last 2 days! I just thought stuff it it's done me no favours giving it up anyway, I won't drink it all the time but I really fancied one. There's very little chance I could be pg anyway I really wanted to wait til I'd had a period but we did dtd a few times, I thought I was having period last week but it stopped I'm just getting odd bits of spotting every couple of day I don't know what's going on my boobs are sore though and have been for a week so I'm guessing it's going to arrive soon!

orangebowl Sat 19-Jan-13 19:17:12

I got really drunk in my 2ww that resulted in this pregnancy ( to be fair doesnt take much- 3 glassesnof wine and a jarger bomb!) . I just thought.. I've been doing everything so perfectly so far and it hasn't made the slightest bit if difference. A girl at work smoked and drank through her whole accidental pregnancy and baby was perfect (obviously I don't wish the baby wasn't). But just made me think.. I wouldn't drink in 1st 12 wks since BFP but flippin heck a cup if coffee or a slightly runny egg is NOT going to cause a miscarriage. smile

teaandchocolate Sat 19-Jan-13 19:19:18

Butterfly have you tested? Could be either really couldn't it? Do you think you ovulated when you dtd?

I decided I'll have one cup of tea a day as I'm an addict (as my name suggests!) but not sure if I should cut out completely? Makes me so mad though that some people drink, smoke and eat crap through their pregnancies and are fine, just keep popping them, out whereas we all try so hard and struggle to get anywhere!

butterfly86 Sat 19-Jan-13 19:33:55

You are so right school but whenever it goes wrong I always question myself did I do this or that even tho I know it's nothing I did, it's ridiculous! There are so many people who drink, smoke, run and they are ok. Sometimes you have to just say f@*k it and enjoy yourself, I've wasted (well not so much wasted but you know what I mean) the best part of a year, I've hardly had a drink I"ve been pregnant birthday, christmas and family parties. I"m not going to be stupid but how far do you go with putting your life on hold. I even find my self almost saying to people I know "that's got such and such in you shouldn"t have that! It's mental. I'm now going to go in the kitchen and have a folic acid and a gin & tonic :-)

butterfly86 Sat 19-Jan-13 19:44:01

Tea no I haven't tested I will admit it's crossed my mind I could be but I doubt it, I would have to have ovulated soon after the bleeding from the mc stopped which is a possibility and I did have ewcm but oh would have to be superman as we have only did it 2 or 3 times. I'm having. lots of crampy twinges and doctor is going to do some swabs when I'm not bleeding incase I've got an infection as I've had a couple of symptoms. So I think I'm just all messed up I'd be thrilled if I was pg of course but I'm not going to test I don't think I can bear the stressx

teaandchocolate Sat 19-Jan-13 21:32:00

I had something similar with my last pregnancy in that I was about to go to the doctor as my period hadnt turned up for 10 weeks after my mc. Anyway turns out I was pregnant again after just a couple of times dtd - I normally get pregnant so easily. I'd do a test before you see the doctor maybe!

butterfly86 Sat 19-Jan-13 22:27:44

I seem to fall quite easily too, took a few months the first time but after that I've been "fortunate" my consultant said it's remarkable when we decide we want to be pregnant it happens which is a good thing. Now I've said that it will prob take forever! I have thought to myself well if my period doesn't turn up I'll wait until I see my consultant (which is about 6 weeks away) then if I have fallen pregnant by then she will just find out ha! I know that sounds stupid but if I don't know then Im ok, I feel like if I did test and it was positive I would just think well I'm spotting so I'm miscarrying again, whereas if I don't know then I'm just randomly spotting. Hope that doesn't sound totally ridiculous- I know you will know what I mean!

teaandchocolate Sat 19-Jan-13 22:41:41

Totally know what you mean! I want to be one of those people who doesn't know they're pregnant until 4 months...or when they give birth! But not much chance of that as I'm obsessed with what's going on inside. Also am going to take progesterone from when I get a bfp so kind of need to know. How good if you got to the appointment and they told you you're 12 weeks preg!!

butterfly86 Sun 20-Jan-13 12:07:21

That would be fantastic tea can you imagine! But I'm the same as you I'm too in tune with my body now I couldn't get away with it and I need to be monitered so would need to know really. I would test after a while but I'm only on about cd27 that's if I count first day of mc bleeding as day one and it's bound to be messed up so I'm sure there's plenty of time for af to arrive yet....

teaandchocolate Sun 20-Jan-13 13:37:26

I think I've totally messed up my calculations and so annoyed with myself. No sign of AF and not pregnant, yet we stopped dtd about 14 days ago as thought I'd ovulated. Now thinking I actually ovulated a few days ago which means we missed it. Maybe my cycles have gone mad as am stressed about ttc? Either way I'm really annoyed and frustrated and so confused about what my body is doing!! Now want AF to just arrive so can start again! Argh! DH & i need to make more of an 'effort' next cycle....

butterfly86 Sun 20-Jan-13 13:56:34

Don't be too hard on yourself tea we can only have a good guess at ovulation really, though ovulation only a few days ago does seem quite late what makes you think that? Have you tested again?

teaandchocolate Sun 20-Jan-13 14:08:53

Just because I'm a panicker & AF normally arrives 14 days after when I think I've ovulated. A few days ago I got loads of ewcm (more than a couple of weeks ago) but I put it down to early pregnancy or pre-AF cm (sorry if tmi!). I stopped dtd ages ago as was worried about conceiving late in a cycle causing mc (as my last pregnancy was conceived on day 50 or something!) but I think DD was conceived on a 7 week cycle so maybe its ok? I know its stupid worrying as its too late now so just need to wait for AF or test again but I do find it hard to be rational at the moment...thanks for reading this. I am so boring!!!

butterfly86 Sun 20-Jan-13 14:26:39

You aren't boring it's very stressful. I get lots of ewcm in early pregnancy, I do get a bit before af too but not as much. I also worry about concieving late in my cycle or that it takes too long to implant I normally ov around cd18 ish and with my last pg I didn't get "implantation bleeding" if thats what it was until about cd29 or something can't remember exactly so I came to the conclusion it took too long and that's why it failed. It's utter shite this. this ttc lark it messes with your head! Sorry you are feeling like this hopefully you will know either way soon x

teaandchocolate Sun 20-Jan-13 17:22:56

Thank you so much Butterfly you are so sweet! It totally messes with your head! I don't think I've ever had implantation bleeding to be honest. Now I don't feel anything really will just have to see what happens tomorrow. Might but some cheap tests later in the week but I'm not hopeful. Would rather AF just came and next cycle I'll make more effort...if I've not gone insane in the meantime...!

GuppieK Sun 20-Jan-13 22:29:58

Hey tea, it does mess with your head totally. I got AF this afternoon. Did a second test in the morning out of impatience because after a week of cramps they disappeared for 24hrs and I felt a bit hopeful... now feel like an idiot for not just waiting and like I basically have done the equivalent of peeing on a £5 note..! On the plus side, it's day 28 of cycle today so maybe getting back to normal. On the downside, it probably means I ovulated when I thought I would and we dtd loads at the right time!! I can't believe that after getting pregnant three times quite quickly it might take a while now. This was my fourth month of trying and there was me thinking at least I wouldn't have to stress about the conceiving bit!

teaandchocolate Mon 21-Jan-13 07:20:40

Hi Guppie! I felt the same about the stupid pregnancy test. Really want to test again but don't want to waste more money. Sorry you're not pregnant this month although yey for a 28 day cycle! I've never had one of those! Means you can start trying again quickly. My theory that I get pregnant too fast & even the rubbish embryos implant (& then miscarry) means that the fact it's taking you a while could be a good thing and your body is being selective and waiting for the perfect embryo. If my random logic is any consolation?!

I still have no AF and getting quite a bit of cervical mucus (sorry TMI!!) and am so confused about what it all means!! I just have no patience. If I'm not pregnant I want to know so I can eat runny eggs and drink wine and stop worrying for another few weeks. If I am pregnant (very doubtful) then I can start taking progesterone. However starting to think my cycle was just stupidly long again and I didn't actually ovulate until last week which would be day 30 or something so totally missed it. And that is just very annoying!

GuppieK Wed 23-Jan-13 18:29:19

Thanks for your reply Tea. Hope you're doing okay. I hope there might be something to your theory and my body is being selective! I have no patience either, but also I want to know when I'm pregnant asap so I can get heparin. One of my mcs was quite early at about 6 weeks so figuring it would be good to get going with the aspirin and heparin. The consultant said to call as soon as I get the positive test. Can start trying all over again in few more days..! Going to use ovulation tests this month as haven't bothered previously, just been dtd every other day. Worth trying a different approach I guess...

orangebowl Wed 23-Jan-13 18:34:46

Hi guppie. Just worth you knowing that normally they advise aspirin from the point of BFP but heparin from the point you see a heartbeat (so they scan around 6wks as it should be visible then). Hopefully this month for you. X

teaandchocolate Wed 23-Jan-13 20:29:31

I bought some ovulation sticks but they're cheapo ones and really tricky to use (require dipping in room temperature wee at the same time everyday!) and because my cycles are so eratic I think if end up doing it for weeks. Fancy trying clear blue digital ones but they're so expensive. Next month I will just dtd every other day. I think this cycle I was just blasé as I always get pregnant so easily.

Still no sign of AF though. I bought some more tests but still bfn. Getting very frustrated! Desperate for a bloody glass of wine but don't dare just in case....my body is taking the p**s!!

School how are you feeling? And Butterfly any news?!!

orangebowl Wed 23-Jan-13 21:00:20

That's frustrating tea. Particularly not knowing whats going on with your cycle. Dtd Every other day if you can manage it (!) is a good policy. That's how we conceived my DS so I recon it must be a good strategy!

I am feeling alright. Im 9+3 today. Of my 4 miscarriages.. Seen heartbeats for 2.. One stopped at 8+3. And the other at 9+1.. So safe to say I am pretty scared right now. Next scan on Monday when I should be 10+1.. Can't imagine there being a heartbeat.. But trying to stay positive.

teaandchocolate Wed 23-Jan-13 21:14:27

Oh school I really hope Monday is good news!! Once you get to 10 weeks if everything's ok it's so likely that all will be good. I felt much calmer at 10 weeks (after the scan!) with DD. there's no point in me saying dont worry everything will be fine because all of us here know that we are those 1 in 100 unlucky people! But try to stay positive or at least sane until Monday. I'm thinking of you...& really hope you will be this board's next success story! Either way I'm alway here to chat...probably POA(bloody!)S!!

For my 1st 2 pregnancies we dtd every other day...although I was a bit younger then wink but with my long cycles it is hard work!! However for my last 2 pregnancies we only dtd twice I think! Although I can't exactly give advice on successful pregnancies!

orangebowl Wed 23-Jan-13 21:30:54

Haha you made me laugh with the thought that over the next 4 days you will either be peeing on a stick or checking on me! smile

Just trying not to think about it really until Sunday night when I will probably be petrified! Just trying to remind myself there is nothing I can do.. What will be will be

teaandchocolate Wed 23-Jan-13 21:56:55

I do indeed have an exciting life!

You definitely have the right approach, you're doing amazingly x

butterfly86 Wed 23-Jan-13 23:14:04

Hi tea don't know what's going on thought af had started this afternoon (after i'd been to the doctors & she had a good poke around!) but it's tailed of again, I've had this brown spotting now for about 12 days! I wish I could just have. a proper bleed and get it over with and get my cycles back to normal.
What a pain for you still not knowing what's happening with you either, who would be a woman eh! It's so much easier when things happen on time at least you know then you can get on with the next month, trouble is with us we like to be in control and when it doesn't go exactly how we expect it to we are no good!
School good luck for monday I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you! We need a nice success story and hopefully everyone else will follow x

teaandchocolate Thu 24-Jan-13 13:34:42

Butterfly I know what you mean. I also just want AF to turn up now! If I'm not pregnant then want to get back to 'normal' & try again. I had brown bleeding on & off for months after my 1st mc. Apparently it's normal for hormones to take a while to settle down & the doctor said maybe exacerbated by stress (how do you not stress?!). Anyway in the end the consultant gave me progesterone to induce a period and on the next cycle I got pregnant with my DD. see how long the brown bleeding goes on for and then maybe ask for the same?

orangebowl Thu 24-Jan-13 17:26:25

Just to give you another perspective butterfly and tea.. After 2 of my erpcs I basically dd t have any periods (bit of spotting at most every cycle) and was convinced there was something wrong.. Have got pregnant after each one so was obviously ovulating.. Strange but actually rabid (if not that easy to interpret at the time).

Thanks for both your wishes. Will post Monday afternoon and let you know either way. X

butterfly86 Fri 25-Jan-13 16:25:26

Well definately have af now I'm pleased it's arrived so I know where I am and it's on time so at least things have settled down straight away. Only thing is I'm having a lot of clots sorry if tmi! They are small no large ones is this normal for first af following a natural mc as I only have experience of erpc? I'm prob passing more "bits" than I did during the actual mc, I had a scan afterwards and the lining was thin so nothing left behind, I'm not worried or anything just wondering if it sounds normal.

teaandchocolate Fri 25-Jan-13 19:35:51

That is good AF is here now. Are you going to ttc straight away?

I think clots are normal. I had some little ones in my first AF after natural mc but as I'd also had a scan I wasn't too worried. Also read on here of others having the same....I think!

butterfly86 Fri 25-Jan-13 21:52:01

Hi tea I thought the clots would be normal. I don't know what we will do about ttc straight away I don't know how I feel about it if I'm honest...with the other 2 mc I've been desperate to try again but this time I'm not. We talked about it tonight I said to dp I'm just tired of it all, if it happens quickly then fine but I don't mind if it doesn't (I might not be sayin that in a couple of months) I'm like you in that I've been lucky to fall quickly so who knows what will happen. We won't prevent it as that doesn't feel right either so we will probably just go with it and what will be will be.
Have you any news yet?

teaandchocolate Fri 25-Jan-13 22:10:28

It felt so wierd for me not trying over the past 6 months or so as I felt compelled to ttc especially when I knew I was ovulating. Like I couldn't bear to waste a good egg! But actually having some time off was good for me and gave me a chance to just be me avian. I could eat what I wanted and drink, get my nails done etc and not worry about being pregnant and everything that goes with that. See how you feel but I know with me if we tried I'd have got pregnant.

I've still not tested again! Think I will tomorrow morning. Having cramps on & off but no AF. Will keep u posted!

butterfly86 Fri 25-Jan-13 23:12:39

I think it would do me good to to take a break but it is a hard decision to make. In your words I want to be me again when I say this to my dp he doesn't understand what I mean, I feel like I've lost part of who I used to be I don't quite feel like me anymore. I don't think that will ever change though if I'm honest unless maybe it will get better if I'm lucky enough to get a baby eventually. I don't want to get blase about getting pregnant easily as things can change but that's the. thing unless we are preventing it it's probably going to happen.

Let us know how you get on if you decide to test tomorrow!

teaandchocolate Sat 26-Jan-13 08:55:05

Tested again and it was bfn sad. Feel so disappointed as had convinced myself I could be pregnant. Gutted that no AF either as just means we can't try again for ages and who knows what my cycle is doing. And in the meantime all my friends are having their babies. Just wanted to be past 12 weeks by my next due date. Feel really upset actually which is silly and need to pull myself together otherwise I'm never going to keep going with all this. But ugh....

Butterfly I feel like I've totally lost myself over the past year. The first mc changed me but once I had got to 12 weeks with DD I was just so happy and extra grateful. I loved the first 18 months of her life so much. Then I feel the last year I've been consumed by having a baby and feeling jealous of everyone else who can which is so not me! Also hate lying to everyone and trying to avoid seeing people when I'm having a particularly bad day. Sorry am so grumpy this morning- I'm sure I'm not normally this bad! But anyway in short I know how you feel totally. Even if we just 'use what happens' I know we are trying as I always watch my cycle...

teaandchocolate Sat 26-Jan-13 08:55:43

See what happens....
Sorry for all the typos am rushing as need to sort DD out!!

butterfly86 Sat 26-Jan-13 11:37:21

Oh tea sorry you got a bfn you are just in limbo aren't you it's shit :-( Literally everyone I know is pregnant or just had babies it's hard, I thought I have to be pregnant again before sil has her baby but now I just thought f**k it I'm not worrying about it anymore it's stressful enough, I'm sure when the baby arrives I'll find it hard but I'm trying not to think about it or I won't have the strentgh to keep going either I'll end up having a breakdown or something!
Keep strong, hope you feel a little better soon! X

orangebowl Sat 26-Jan-13 11:38:23

Hi tea. I'm really sorry you're having a rubbish day and nothing is working out as you expected/ wanted it to. There isn't anything I can say... Think we've said it all before. Tomorrow will be a better day. Somehow we have to find a way of taking our lives off hold and doing all this while living at the same time. That's the hard bit. I know its not much comfort right now- but It will work out in the end. X

TaytoCrisp Sat 26-Jan-13 11:42:01

Hello, i have been lurking a little bit - and haven't read everything, but i just wanted to send tea a hug this morning - that's just rubbish and disappointing. You need to be extra kind to yourself today...

Sorry for butting in, but i just felt sorry for teawhen i saw her message this morning..

teaandchocolate Sat 26-Jan-13 13:39:12

Ah thanks guys you are so sweet and brought a little tear to my eye (not hard today!). Feel a bit better as been out in the snow with DH & DD and I just need to pull myself together and get through this don't I. Whilst still living my life. You are all so right. Don't want to waste DDs toddlerhood being a misery. Going to make the most of not being preg by drinking loads of normal tea, eating cake and having some wine tonight.

If I knew I was going to end up with another baby it would be much easier & I can't wait to be the one telling my good news story. Just scared how much I'll have to go through to get there. But onwards & upwards! Will try counting my blessings!

TaytoCrisp thank you for your post - you're not butting in at all!

youre all so fab & means so much that you know exactly how I feel. i appreciate you all letting me wallow in my own self pity for a bit! Xx

teaandchocolate Mon 28-Jan-13 14:59:10

School I've just seen on your other thread that your scan was all good!! I'm so so pleased for you - was thinking about you and hoping it would be good news. Only a few weeks to go before you can really relax - how amazing!!

orangebowl Mon 28-Jan-13 19:53:27

Literally just came on here to update you all! Thanks lots. Yes 10 weeks and 2 days so gained a day (good!) and heartbeat ok and was bouncig around! Feeling relaxed for tonight.. Hoping next 2 weeks go fast- will new you to hold my hand before then I am sure smile

GuppieK Wed 30-Jan-13 09:44:23

Just popping on quickly to say congrats School! Really pleased everything is still going well. It's good that they're monitoring you so closely. Even though it still must be very nerve wracking it's good not to have to wait until 3 whole months to find out if things are okay.

Tea - how are you feeling now? Still no sign of AF? It's so frustrating isn't it, just stuck in limbo. I know what you mean about just wanting to know if you'll have a baby at the end of all this. If we knew we would, it'd all be worth it. We're also trying to buy a house at the moment and that is dragging on. This whole chapter of my life is feeling like a good lesson in how you can't control things and just have to go with the flow sometimes! Hope you're doing okay. I'm having to hit the gym hard a couple of times a week at the mo to help keep positive!

teaandchocolate Wed 30-Jan-13 13:18:06

Hi Guppie! I'm doing ok thanks. I have to admit I wasn't great over the weekend or Monday. Then yesterday I had some acupuncture which really helped and I felt much perkier afterwards!! Still feel very sad & frustrated but managing not to cry all the time which is an improvement!

Still no AF though. Praying it comes before the end of the week so we can start again although if all of my cycles are this long I won't get pregnant for ages! I'm also trying to do exercise and eat healthily in the hope that it will sort my hormones out but not sure I've been committed enough! It's hard as all I want when I'm miserable is wine & cake!!

Anyway can you all do an AF dance for me - think I must have horrendous PMT what with all this moaning!!

shallweshop Wed 30-Jan-13 13:44:41

Just found this thread and wanted to share my experience in the hope that it helps someone on here.

I didn't start ttc until I married at 35. I got pregnancy quite easily but over the course of a couple of years I had 3 early m/c's and one ectopic pregnancy (tube removed). I read Professor Lesley Regan's book 'Miscarriage - What Everyone Woman Needs to Know' and asked to be referred to her at her clinic in St Mary's, Paddington. She diagnosed me with antiphospholipid antibody syndrome (sticky blood)and said she would treat me with aspirin and heparin in next pregnancy. I should say at this point that it is extremely important for the blood test for this clotting disorder to be carried out in precisely the way Professor Regan recommends in her book. I had previously been tested for the condition but because the blood was not tested correctly, it went undiagnosed.

14 months after ectopic, I became pregnant again (39 years old) and immediately started aspirin (I had to take 150 mg daily but normal recommended dose is 75mg). I also asked my GP to prescribe progesterone pessaries which I used until I was 16 weeks. After my first scan at 7 weeks I started injecting heparin and I continued on this treatment until I was 36 weeks. At 40+5 DD appeared weighing a healthy 7lb 8oz.

2 years later and after following the same regime, my DS was born.

I really feel for you all on this huge rollercoaster of a journey. I really hope this post helps at least one of you and I wish you all the very best of luck.

GuppieK Thu 31-Jan-13 16:23:08

shallweshop I just wanted to say thanks for sharing your story. I'm 35 years old too, although have been trying for about 18mths now and had 3 mcs. It's good to hear about the happy endings after all of the perseverance and sadness.

Also, on a slightly unrelated topic, I was reading an interview with the (rather hot) lead singer of the band Biffy Clyro at the weekend and he was talking about his sadness about his wife having 3 miscarriages. I thought it was a brave thing to talk about. I appreciate people being open about these things nowadays as I think it's good for people to know it's not always straightforward.

teaandchocolate Thu 31-Jan-13 19:23:54

Hi shallweshop. Thanks for your story. It's lovely to hear positive outcomes. I have had all the thrombophilia tests but they came back negative and after reading Lesley Reagans book I was quite worried they'd done them wrong. Although my situation is a bit different in that I have one DD with no problems in pregnancy & once of my mc had a chromosomal abnormality. Although if I have another one I might go somewhere more specialist for tests.

Guppie I totally agree that it helps when people are open about these things as for some reason there is a massive stigma surrounding miscarriage as if its more unpalatable than infertility. I probably don't help as I don't like to tell people. But it makes me feel much less of a freak knowing others have been through similar experiences. That's why this forum is so great.

orangebowl Thu 31-Jan-13 20:28:39

Shallwe thanks for your story. And sorry for your losses. your history is similar to mine (apart from I had DS first) and so hearing how well the heparin and aspirin worked for you has given me a boost.

Thanks guppie and tea as always. Now you might think I am bonkers but I am convinced I felt movement today. Is that even possible at 10+5? I don't think it is but I'm sure I felt movement!

Tea I'm glad you can talk on here if not in real life. I tend to tell quite a lot of people, more for practicality reasons at the time than anything else but it's such a personal thing that we all deal with so differently.

Xx

shallweshop Thu 31-Jan-13 21:23:25

Phew, thanks girls. I was really worried after I posted in case it wasn't approrpiate. Miscarriage is such an emotive, sensitive subject and I know damn well that you don't always want to hear people's happy endings because you just want yours!

Guppie - you are right, it is brave to open up and talk about it. I have found that, once you do, it is remarkable just how many people experience fertility problems.

Tea & Chocolate - the main thing with the blood test is that it should be done asap on the freshly drawn blood which has been obtained without using a cuff. When I had my initial testing done at a local hospital they used a cuff and then sent it off later that day to be tested the following! When I had it done at St Mary's, my blood was taken and immediately rushed next door to the lab.

School - wishing you a very healthy pregnancy.

I truly know what it feels like and I wish you all your own happy endings.

teaandchocolate Thu 31-Jan-13 21:34:49

School I didn't think it was possible to feel movement so early but then I'm hardly the pregnancy guru as only done it properly once!! I definitely always feel lots going on inside especially as I'm now so sensitive to it all these day. Either way its just so exiting you're so far on now. I'm not going to get too carried away but 10+5 sounds pretty good!

Shallweshop I told the girl who took the blood that it needed to be tested quickly (I'm such a difficult patient!) and she said it would be but to be honest I wasn't convinced. She used a cuff to start with but I think took it off once the blood was flowing (argh can't remember!). Although it is a huge teaching hospital so you'd have thought they'd know what they're doing.

A question I have though is if I did have clotting issues how did I manage to have DD with no help? School has anyone explained that to you? I also think that the reason no-one I've seen has been hugely interested in pursuing a cause is because one of the pregnancies tested positive for triploidy so it means consultants think well it must just be bad luck then...I guess only time will tell.

butterfly86 Thu 31-Jan-13 21:38:38

School- fantastic news about your scan I'm so pleased it's going well for you!

I'm worried about the thrombophilia results now my blood was taken with a cuff on and the nurse said it had to go to scotland for the tests so god knows how long it was before it was tested! I'm going. to ask my consultant about it when I see her in a few weeks.

orangebowl Thu 31-Jan-13 21:56:39

Tea. Yes they explained it. Apparently it's fairly common for blood disorders (and actually autoimmune disorders in general) to just appear in women in their early 30's. they dont know why. I had DS at 29 so that fits.

Thanks butterfly. I'm just holding my breath for potential last stretch (*crosses fingers*). You could always ask for your blood clotting tests to be done again? Mine came back as ok at my local hospital. Only when I got tested at Liverpool womens they found it. X

orangebowl Thu 31-Jan-13 22:01:18

Ps. Yeah I think not must be wind really tea ( but its nice to imagine!)

teaandchocolate Thu 31-Jan-13 22:04:29

Thanks School that's interesting. Although I was 29 for 1st mc and 30 when I had DD!! Who knows...! Out of interest - did you have any other symptoms/issues normally associated with these disorders? I'm always trying to self diagnose but just can't figure it out this time...

orangebowl Thu 31-Jan-13 22:18:20

No no symptoms at all.

You've had 2 m/cs right tea? I know it's annoying when people say these things when you just want answers ... But If one had chromosomal abnormalities it really is most likely to be "bad luck" (hate the term-sorry for using it, I mean down to chance). 2 good friends of mine with 2 consecutive miscarriages followed by healthy babies no intervention. I hope you are like them. X

teaandchocolate Thu 31-Jan-13 22:23:22

Thanks School. I've actually had 3 mc - 1 before DD, 1 after with triploidy and then one after that. I hope you're right though. I keep telling myself next time will work and there are lots of stories of women having lots of mc and lot of babies! Hopefully I can handle whatever happens.

orangebowl Thu 31-Jan-13 22:35:26

Grrr stupid miscarriages! (There's my productive comment of the night wink)

twentythirteen Thu 31-Jan-13 22:35:43

Oh dear, I just came across this thread and was reading along thinking how helpful you are to each other and what a useful thread... And then saw a post of my own!!! I just totally lost this thread asking the way! May I re join?!!

orangebowl Thu 31-Jan-13 22:42:22

Hi twenty waves! Of course you can rejoin. Welcome smile

teaandchocolate Thu 31-Jan-13 22:47:48

Hi twentythirteen! How are you doing? Welcome back!

School I also have nothing else useful to say and so am going to sleep! Night everyone x

twentythirteen Fri 01-Feb-13 14:54:25

Thanks School and Tea, it was very much a "doh!" kind of moment when I realised I'd already found the thread previosuly!

I'm well thanks, we've started ttc again but only on my second AF post 3rd mc. I recieved a letter a few days back saying the results of our blood tests are in and gave us a date to meet with the consultant but it's not for another 3 weeks. I've felt quite depressed for the last few days thinking it will never happen, I'm old, gained too much weight from the pregnancies, looking like crap... My friend who is pregnant just two weeks ahead of where I was with this last one is about 26 weeks now, is showing and is uncomfortable at night and I'm painfully, terribly jealous, I can barely stand to be around her and yet I love her dearly. I'd have a 3 month old now if all had gone to plan with the first pregnancy, it's potentially soul destroying stuff.

I'll have to start getting to know you all again, but in the meantime congratulations School! Sorry about your bfn Tea, it sounds like it was particularly gutting.

Ladies, what wisdom do we have on here re these consultant appointments, what can I expect? Is it possible they'll say we've got some genetic thingy wrong that means we cannot have children???

teaandchocolate Sat 02-Feb-13 19:14:38

What blood tests did you have? I think that most of the problems they find are treatable. The exceptions are some chromosomal abnormalities but even then there's just a percentage chance of mc I think. To be honest most of my (limited) knowledge comes from Lesley Regans miscarriage book so might be worth getting a copy (I got mine 2nd hand on amazon). It will feel like an age but try not to pre-empt what the consultant will say. I'm forever diagnosing myself and am usually wrong!

I've seen a few consultants but none at a specific nhs rmc clinic so not exactly sure what they will do. However I had all the nhs will offer in terms of tests - thrombophilia, karyotyping, full blood count, thyroid function (& some other general thing like iron I think). I've also had scans including a 3D saline one but that wasn't nhs although they offer similar procedures if they think there's a physical problem.

Not sure if any of that helps but I think it highly unlikely they will find a genetic issue that means you can't have children.

I completely know what you mean about finding it hard to see friends. I'm finding it awful at the moment. 3 of my best friends are due when I would have been if not for my 3rd mc. And I don't know anyone who's got a child the same age or older than DD who is not either pregnant or with a baby. It's so hard I completely sympathise!

I'm also trying to be super healthy to get my sodding AF to turn up but failing miserably as all I want to do is eat rubbish and drink wine as I'm getting so frustrated with it!!

LandsN Sat 02-Feb-13 22:57:28

Hi all I have had 3 mc's last one being 19/12/12 at 9 weeks the hospital told me I would have to fall pregnant again before any tests could be done but now feel like I am being fobbed off!! We are ttc again fingers crossed it happen this month should have ovulated on the 29/1. I am just so scared it will happen again I have two aged 11 and 8 so know I can do it which makes it very frustrating sad it is a big comfort to know I am not the only person going through this and u all understand what I am going through I am sorry to read what u have been through and fingers crossed u all get happy endings xxx

twentythirteen Sun 03-Feb-13 08:39:06

Tea, when I had wayward cycles I took a complex b vit and it straightened out everything including ovulation. Have you taken it? I actually took a few vitamins that were all for promoting a healthy cycle but I think that was the strongest one. What CD are you now?

And your situation sounds much more difficult, I only have one good friend and one not so close friend who are pg. I have another who is preparing for ttc and I finally let her know to stop including me in her tcc plans and she was great about it. But I don't know what to say to pg friends, I just grin and bear it and feel shaky and upset for ages after.

Although I have been being healthy I did have about a bottle and a half of wine last week, I have become quite a light weight and it's taken days to recover! Feel rough and guilty now. How does everyone here manage with your friends and emotions? I've taken up cooking after work and am reading most nights before bed to take my mind off it and do something worthwhile instead.

How embarrassing, I don't know what cloud tarts (auto correct!) Blood tests i've had, but what you mentioned sounds familiar, and also they have tested oh now to. Thanks for the reassurance. I'll have a think about the book but I feel pretty angry still and cannot fathom owning a book about something that has caused me so much upset. With the last mc I actually went into for what they said was very like labour for 8 hours without pain relief.

Hi LandsN! In sorry about your mcs and the information you were given. You had your third mc in the hospital and they still did not do any tests?? That does seem like a harsh waste of opportunity. Do you have a good Gp? Are you tcc yet?

LandsN Sun 03-Feb-13 09:01:44

Hi I was at home when I passed everything but had been for a scan which was when they told me the heartbeat had stopped and they could fit me in for surgery on Xmas eve but if I passed in the meantime to put it in a pot and take it in sad well emotionally I couldn't do this and tbh I couldn't tell either! My doctor is a bit like a wet weekend but is brilliant with my kids and yes ttc already this will b my last try I can't go through it anymore x

twentythirteen Sun 03-Feb-13 13:00:41

That's awful LandsN. I was also told to bring it in if it happened at home and I was worried about the logisitics of it. Being new to the system I don't have any advice to offer but really whish I could as it does seem unfair. When did you actually mc in the end? I once mc'd on mother's day, that seemed cruel but at the time I was too preoccupied with the event of it to realise that. I know there's never going to be a good time but Christmas eve is equally unkind timing.

LandsN Sun 03-Feb-13 18:30:56

That's where it gets better I had the scan on 19/12 and miscarried on 20/12 which is my birthdaysad will not be quite the same again I am just so nervous cos we are ttc again and so scared as I am none the wiser as to why it keeps happening especially after 2 healthy babies the only difference I can think of is that I was taking vitamins when I fell with my 2 so have started taking them to see if its just a coincidence or if there is a link?? Never know fingers crossed xx

teaandchocolate Sun 03-Feb-13 19:00:15

Hi LandsN really sorry to hear about what you've been through. I don't understand why the hospital said you have to be pregnant again before they can do tests. Do you know what tests they were talking about? AFAIK the main tests the NHS will do after 3 mc are thrombophilia and karyotyping. Karyotyping can be done at any time as it tests yours & your DH's chromosomes. But thrombophilia tests must be done when the pregnancy hormones are totally out of your system so hospitals seem to say 8 - 12 weeks. So I don't understand why they want you to be pregnant again. The only test I've heard of them doing when you're pregnant is by St Mary's in London and is when all tests are clear but there still might be a blood clotting issue during pregnancy. I would call them up and find out if you're concerned. Although ttc again is also a valid option to be honest as it seems the tests can often be wrong/inconclusive. I've had quite a few and all negative and now I kind of wish I'd just kept ttc as I could be pregnant now!!

Twentythirteen I'm now on day 43 and no sign of AF except brown spotting (sorry if tmi) which is usually just a sign that my hormones are all over the place. I already take a million vitamins although not a separate b complex so I could look into it. Just so fed up now and really wishing I'd ttc last cycle as in retrospect it was a good one (only 32 days!). You're lucky you don't know that many pregnant people - maybe I have a particularly fertile group of friends and acquaintances! Sick of buying new baby presents and holding newborns! My friends 3 yo even asked if I also had a baby sister in my tummy the other day sad obviously need to stop eating cake....

LandsN Sun 03-Feb-13 20:28:20

Thank you I will ask my gp to sort this have had more help from here than him ATM at least I can sound like I know what I am talking about now xx

twentythirteen Mon 04-Feb-13 17:17:18

Good luck with your gp LandsN. That's awful timing for a mc.

Goodness Tea, I'm presuming this is a familiar state of play for you, such long cycles? Poor you. What dpo are you, or has the brown spotting since materialised into something more?

And yes, I think being older means that most of my same age and older friends have already set up their families and I don't mind so much about the pregnancies of people I don't know so well as I don't have to engage with the conversation, I can just smile as if I'm pleased and run off! It's mostly my good friend and my OH's friend. Oh, I forgot another of OH's close friends... oh dear, perhaps I'm in denial!

I should be gearing up for ovulation here but have minimal signs...

orangebowl Mon 04-Feb-13 20:42:17

Hi all. Welcome to newbys grin

Well I got home to a letter from the midwife who did my booking appointment on Tuesday (almost a week ago) saying to contact my GP as my urine sample showed an infection and needs treating hmm

Given my history of 4 consecutive miscarriages you might have thought they would flippin call me!

So now I am all worried that the infection could cause another miscarriage. Will call docs first thing to see if they will get a prescription ready but soo annoyed that wasted a week.
Rant over. Love to all. X

teaandchocolate Mon 04-Feb-13 21:35:50

Hi School. Just wanted to say quickly that I had an infection when I was pregnant with DD - think using progesterone pessaries caused it. They didn't even seem to know what it was - one Dr said BV and one said strep B. Anyway I was worried about taking antibiotics when pregnant and noone could really reassure me. Consultant said wait til after 12 weeks. Anyway by then (which was actually 1 week later) it had cleared up. So I guess what I'm saying is try not to worry. I googled and think BV is more of a risk in late pregnancy. Agree its really ridiculous they didn't just ring you!!!

orangebowl Mon 04-Feb-13 21:49:00

Ah thanks tea. That's reassuring actually. I will just calm down and call the docs in the morning and see what they say. Will update tomorrow. I'm soo tired today.. Lights off time! X

twentythirteen Thu 07-Feb-13 17:58:33

That would have annoyed me too School, what happened in the end?

I'm cd 13 here and have unclear opk's for the last 36 hours, very annoying.

Where's everyone else cycle wise?

orangebowl Thu 07-Feb-13 19:37:35

Hey twenty. That IS annoying! I know they are expensive but I swore by the clearblue smiley face ones... Saves all that squinting at least!

Well when I Called but all the midwives were out and the receptionist at the hospital INSISTED that the midwives would have tried to call me first. I said they didn't as I had no missed calls. She said it again. I said "so if I call back the midwives will have a record of the time they true to call me". She said he they would. Humph. Well I haven't had chance to phone back yet and to be honest will probably just mention it at my next appointment.

So I've picked up the antibiotics from y docs and hopefully that is clearing it up.

Should be 12 weeks on Saturday. Scan Monday. Wow I'm scared...

teaandchocolate Thu 07-Feb-13 19:45:27

Wow School can't believe you're nearly 12 weeks. I know how nervous you must feel but I'm keeping everything crossed for you at this end. Really hope you're out next good news story!! Try not to worry about the hospital - if it was anything even vaguely serious they would have made more effort to get in touch.

Twenty I don't bother with those opks as have such erratic cycles I can't use or rely on them. Just keep dtd!!

AF arrive yesterday - woo hoo! Day 52 or something ridiculous. But I feel surprisingly ok despite my best friend just having a baby. Hoping next cycle will be the one. Decided to just dtd every other day and hope and pray for the best....

twentythirteen Thu 07-Feb-13 20:07:38

Fx re the antibiotics School and good luck Monday - I can't recall if you've had previous scans? Presuming so if you're on this thread but I don't recall. Good, good, good luck to you for Monday.

Whoa Tea, that's looong. Here's to a new and hopefully more concise month for you. As for us, DTD isn't very straight forward so I do need the sticks or wouldn't have a hope in hell. Fx!

teaandchocolate Thu 07-Feb-13 20:56:03

Tell me about it! I was going insane with all that build up of hormones. Hoping this cycle I will be more relaxed and positive. It's just such a long saga which is why losing the baby at the end of it is even more gutting.

I've also heard from a friend in the know that the clearblue opks are the best although really expensive. How often do you use them?

GuppieK Thu 07-Feb-13 21:06:07

Tea, thank goodness AF has come, finally! I always feel much better when it does because of the not knowing and just because I think I'm a grumpy cow just before anyway..!

Twenty, I'm on day 18 today. I tried opks this month for first time. I used to use Persona as contraception and always ovulated days 13/14 pretty much. Was really surprised they seemed to indicate I ov'ed days 16/17. Maybe it's why we haven't had much luck. Been trying to dtd every other day but prob was more fixated on days 10-16ish. We'll see anyway. Soooo many work colleagues pregnant at mo. Good thing is I think they're making me immune from the resentment I used to feel every time I heard a new announcement!

butterfly86 Thu 07-Feb-13 21:41:47

Hi everyone!
Congrats on getting so far school fingers crossed for you for monday!!

Tea I'm pleased af arrived so you know where you are hoping this will be your month!

I'm on cd15 I had to actually check before I wrote this get me I'm not obsessing! Not that I can forget about it totally I'm too tuned in to my body the cm is giving it away that ov is looming! We're still just "seeing how it goes" and just dtd when we feel like it not because it's the right time which is actually really nice the pressure is off and we are more relaxed than we have been in a while.

Twenty I used clearblue ov stick when we first started ttc I never actually got a positive but I now realise I started them too early in my cycle followed the instructions and started on cd10 I now know it's more like day 18! If I used ov sticks again I would still use them because you don't have to guess if it's positive it's either smiley or it's not I know they aren't cheap though x

orangebowl Thu 07-Feb-13 21:44:40

Hey Tea, twenty and Guppie

Tea- YEY for AF! That's great news. Hopefully all that ambiguity over for you now. (Plus you can relax for the next week grin) and yes I know you are right that hospital would have called me. I was just being super sensitive about it. And yes I know I can't believe 12 weeks is nearly here. I can only think in terms of last scan though so in head an still at 10+2.

Twenty. Thanks for your messages. Yes I've had scans at 6, 8 and 10 weeks all been good so far and since having DS the 10 wk scan looking perfect (measured 10+2) is the furthest we have got. So hoping its the aspirin and heparin working... But still keep saying to DH when planning ahead "so if this pregnancy works out we can't go on holiday in July but if it goes wrong wee could do X, Y and Z etc.. " just can't let myself be too hopeful.

Anyway. Day off work tomorrow then weekend then scan on Monday. It's going to be a long few days.. Will keep you all posted. X

teaandchocolate Thu 07-Feb-13 22:43:20

Thanks everyone for all the AF congratulations!! Makes me chuckle that so many people on the Internet are cheering my period! Love this forum grin

Hi Butterfly and Guppie! Butterfly glad you're feeling so chilled and laid back - hope that will rub off on me for this cycle!

Guppie I so think part of the reason for my meltdown was all the pmt but who knows. Totally get what you mean about becoming immune to pregnancy announcements. I've also given up thinking well hopefully I'll be pregnant by the time they have their baby... I seem to cope much better when the baby's out though. It's as if I then realise actually I don't want their baby. But I do find all the bumps really tough...

LandsN Thu 07-Feb-13 23:24:42

Hi ladies I am cd19 today would this be too early for a bfp as I am feeling a few symptoms but done a test today and it was negative? Was not sure if I just too early or if I am imagining symptoms xx

orangebowl Fri 08-Feb-13 07:27:45

Hey lands. Do you know when you ovulated? Cd19 is pretty early on on average. Try and give it a couple more days If you can and try again. All the waiting is frustrating isn't it!

LandsN Fri 08-Feb-13 07:35:17

I think I worked it out to be about the 22/1 I feel like I could be pg but not sure if its in my head I feel like I have been waiting forever will try again in a few days fingers crossed thank you x

GuppieK Fri 08-Feb-13 10:21:34

Ha, it is quite mad now you mention it Tea! It's like every little step that most people don't even think about is a goal passed when you've had mcs! If I - fingers crossed - get pregnant again soon I was thinking I'd just stay on this forum rather than using the pregnancy one because I feel like I belong here with the slightly paranoid people (!) rather than the optimistic happy ones...

School, that is amazing your 3 month scan is so soon. And it'll be a proper scan rather than the blimmin' internal ones, which are the only sort I've ever had. I am so looking forward to the day I might actually have one of those and not have to sit in a room full of sad worried people beforehand in the EPU :-(

teaandchocolate Fri 08-Feb-13 11:47:18

Lands if you ovulated on the 22 Jan then a test should show now - did you mean 19 dpo or cd19? If the latter then I don't think you could have ovulated on 22? Sorry if I'm getting confused!! Either way I completely know how frustrating it all is as I've spent the last few weeks wasting my money and energy on a million tests and was convinced I was pregnant for about 3 weeks!!

Guppie I'm exactly the same. Even the pregnant after mc forum is too jolly and optimistic for me! Somehow one mc seems like a blip and I'm sure they'll all be fine whereas 3 mc or more is too depressing to be sane whilst ttc!! I feel like its harder to delude myself I was just unlucky. Anyway glad we can all be neurotic together!

LandsN Fri 08-Feb-13 13:52:39

Sorry just checked my calander my ovulation date should have been 29/1 not 22/1 minds doing overdrive with dates etc x

teaandchocolate Fri 08-Feb-13 15:08:20

I usually test around 14 days after ovulation. If I'm using first response it will often show earlier - maybe 3 days before but for me I can't be sure until at least 14 days after ewcm

LandsN Fri 08-Feb-13 16:09:21

Ok thank you fingers crossed xx

orangebowl Fri 08-Feb-13 19:15:35

Hey lands. Same as tea for me. Xx

LandsN Fri 08-Feb-13 21:46:18

Thanks again I really feel pg feeling sick sore boobs etc just don't want to get my hopes up if its all in my mind is it possible to want something too much? Fingers crossed I am right x

twentythirteen Fri 08-Feb-13 23:00:51

Fingers crossed here too Tea!

Fingers crossed for you too LandsN!

Guppie, I struggled on my last pg thread with all the ease of happiness, and I didn't want to bring anyone down, and then realised I wasn't benefiting at all. I stayed on my previous mc thread, which I only dropped out if because we had all got pg and then I mc'd again. I still check in with them, especially when a hard won labour begins.

Tea, I know what you mean about the difference between another persons pregnancy and the actual baby, I'm with you on that, and here's another funny internet cheer for your period!!!

Butterfly (lovely name!), I have used cbdigis in the past but I've learned how to read the cheap ones, which allows me to test all the time.

twentythirteen Fri 08-Feb-13 23:02:36

Oops, am on phone so hard to scroll, think that first fingers crossed was a typo!

orangebowl Sun 10-Feb-13 13:57:18

Hi everyone. So I am now pretty much counting down the hours till the scan tomorrow. If it goes well and I am 12+2 I will actually feel a bit if hope I think (though still going to ask for a scan at 14 weeks).

If it doesn't go well I don't know what I'll do. Same as usual I guess- get on with it- but it will feel different this time since I have been doing the heparin injections and aspirin.

Come on little baby..

butterfly86 Sun 10-Feb-13 17:54:00

Hoping it all goes well for you tomorrow school :-) I know it is so hard but try to be. positive it will be amazing if everything's ok.
I'm having a bit of a bad day today really feel like having a good cry, felt like this yesteday aswell but didn't help that we bumped in to in laws in the supermarket today (they are lovely by the way) and we passed the baby aisle and they were buying talc and other baby things for sil it was like a punch in the stomach, I think it just brought it home that we would be about 7 weeks away from having a baby (mc 2) and the fact that mil is excited for their baby but doesn't let on in front of me. She is absolutely entitled to be excited but I just wanted to run out and sob :-( x

orangebowl Sun 10-Feb-13 18:04:35

Oh Butterfly that must be so hard for you. Those "irrational" feelings are all perfectly natural. I remember seeing a friends perfect 12 week scan and feeling so unbelievably jealous. Not that I didn't want it for them- I just wanted it for me too. I think those feelings are all normal. We will have good days and bad days. Just try and get through those bad days as best you can, that's all you can do. It will happen. We must all keep telling ourselves that or we would never cope I think. X

teaandchocolate Sun 10-Feb-13 18:51:05

Butterfly so sorry you're having a rubbish few days. I felt exactly the same during the whole not pregnant/where's AF saga. Just felt so sad that everyone's pregnant and I should be massive now sad its so hard it really is. But you will have good days again soon when you'll feel much more positive about things. I feel so much calmer at the moment and less like I want to cry constantly but nothing's changed. So just hang on in there it will get better. And like school says it will happen for you. We have to believe that it will happen for all of us. Statistically I think we all still have a higher chance of having a baby than not. Anyway have a glass of wine and watch some rubbish tv and just think that next week will be a better week.

School I really feel for you as I hate those scans nerves. Just the worst! I actually have butterflies just thinking about it. Take some deep breaths and try to think that you've done all you can & can't change the outcome but chances are it will all be fab (although I always think the worst as my reasoning is that then I can only be pleasantly surprised!). I'm sure I've read that a good scan at 10 weeks means chances are 12 weeks will also be fine. Although I know that none of us have had much luck with statistics!!

Anyway what time is it tomorrow? Please let us know how you get on. I am crossing everything for you that it's all good news x

butterfly86 Sun 10-Feb-13 18:56:39

Thanks school I'm trying my hardest to keep telling myself it will happen and I've been doing ok and I'm quite relaxed about ttc but every now and again wham! it just hits me. I see my consultant in 2 weeks and I've got so much whizzing round in my head things I want to ask etc so maybe that's not helping. What a pile of shite this is x

orangebowl Sun 10-Feb-13 18:59:04

Thanks tea. Im goig to google that 10 week stat now! It's at 10:30 tomorrow (if they're on time!).

DH just putting DS to bed then going to try and have some dinner and relax with some rubbish tv to distract me.

Will let you know soon as I can tomorrow. X

butterfly86 Sun 10-Feb-13 19:07:27

Thanks Tea I'm sure this bad day will pass and I'll be ok again soon. I'm glad you are feeling a bit calmer it's much easier to think rationally on the good days because on the bad days it gets so overwhelming, if I sit here and think about things much more I'll have a panic attack my stress levels are through the roof! I'm the least violent person you could know but I could injure somebody today lol. I think I just feel in limbo I feel like if I was taking something such as asprin we would be doing something positive instead of just trying again just for it to go wrong again because we've done nothing about it!
Sorry for ranting on about myself I just need to vent today so thanks for listening to me and I'll be positive for the rest of the night for schools sake! :-) xx

teaandchocolate Sun 10-Feb-13 19:36:43

Butterfly I feel exactly the same!!! I am so up and down and on the verge of killing someone half the time. Also really wish we had something we could treat as I'd feel a bit more positive. I have no idea how I'd cope with another mc. Anyway not much help but completely know how you feel. Please rant/vent as much you like - just glad it's not always me being a psycho! Oh and my newest annoyance - fed up of spending a fortune on bloody new baby presents and thinking of nice things to write in the cards...can't even imagine how much I'd save if everyone would just bloody stop having babies!! Grrrrr

School please dont google on my account! Sure it alway spells disaster! Think I read it on threads about Mr Shehata and NK cells. I think people who saw him said that if he sees a good scan at 10 weeks you've pretty much made it. Obviously your situation is different and I might be talking rubbish. Anyway positive thoughts and lots of luck from me.

butterfly86 Sun 10-Feb-13 20:09:42

Honestly I've become so outspoken and grumpy the things I say to people these days you would think I had tourettes it's so not like me I think I'm just angry with life!! Yes totally know how you feel with the babies popping out left right and centre! It's lovely for those having them but I really want to write in the card just f**k off that is all. I want to be buying things for my newborn not everyone else!
I'm just off to rock in the corner......

orangebowl Sun 10-Feb-13 20:16:20

If it makes you feel any better I am also bonkers. Currently googling ridiculous things like "chance of miscarriage after heartbeat seen at 10 weeks" and the like. Craziness!

teaandchocolate Sun 10-Feb-13 20:21:57

I know you're in a bad mood but you did make me grin. Wish it was more socially acceptable to write 'great you've bad another baby'. Literally cannot muster up the enthusiasm to coo over them and discuss sleepless nights. I can't think about it all too deeply or I'd lose the plot totally. I completely get how you feel you're not alone. And there's always more wine !!

teaandchocolate Sun 10-Feb-13 20:29:35

Had another baby....Freudian slip!

butterfly86 Sun 10-Feb-13 20:40:17

Glad I made you laugh :-) I should just laugh at myself really!

Oh school don't torture yourself you will only get yourself more worked up for tomorrow, try to do something to take your mind off it.

Let's all wear tie dye skirts and chant together ;-)

orangebowl Sun 10-Feb-13 20:43:17

I stopped after posting as realised it was silly. (Thank you!)
Eating DSs little packs of chocolate buttons instead while watching DOI smile

GuppieK Sun 10-Feb-13 20:49:47

Butterfly, I feel like I'm in a similar situation to you. The day after we got test results back after my 3 mcs my other half told me his sister had announced she's pregnant. Roll on couple of months and I'm listening to her telling her nephews how she'll be having their cousin. All I could think was, I was meant to be having their first cousin! It was such a blow to me. I put on a happy facade but I have to fight back my overwhelming jealousy because I really feel like everything family are saying and doing for her they would have been for me! It's something she and no one else who hasn't been there would understand, including my bf who just says 'it's not her fault, she didn't time it like that purpose'. But we all understand on here. It's really a shitty feeling.

School, really wishing you the best of luck tomorrow. I might have asked you this before, but have they said you should take aspirin and heparin for whole pregnancy? Just that my consultant said they would prescribe it until 3mths, but some women on here seem to take it throughout. Mine is for Factor V Leiden tho so might be different. I should prob just concentrate on getting pregnant anyway before worrying about it..!

orangebowl Sun 10-Feb-13 20:55:45

Hi Guppie. Yes aspirin and heparin until 32 weeks (gulp at the thought of getting to 32 weeks!).
I have antiphospholipid syndrome so may be different but I don't know anything about Factor V so not sure. Have you read Lesley regans book? What does that say? I can check for you if you like?

butterfly86 Sun 10-Feb-13 21:13:10

Guppie, it's so hard isn't. I'm pleased I can come on here and chat to others who do know how it really feels, people can sympathise but they can never understand those feelings properly and if I tried to really explain what I was feeling and thinking they would think I was awful. It makes this sad situation a million times harder when somebody so close is pregnant it's hard enough with friends but at least you can distance yourself. I said to my dp sometimes I can see sil and it's ok and other times I just can't handle it it's harder now she has a big bump and I'm sure she wears tight clothes on purpose! We will just have to hang on to the hope that one day they will be doing them things for us and it will be magical, but for now it is totally shitty.

GuppieK Sun 10-Feb-13 21:38:57

I haven't read Lesley Reagan's book, School. I have a book called Is Your Body Baby Friendly by Alan Beer and he says that all patients with inherited thrombophilia should inject until 34 wks. Difficult to know who to trust with my consultant saying 3mths as no proof it helps beyond that.. It would be great if you could see what it says in your book.

teaandchocolate Mon 11-Feb-13 10:39:38

Thinking of you School x

orangebowl Mon 11-Feb-13 12:49:02

All ok! Measured 12 weeks 5 days still in shock!

butterfly86 Mon 11-Feb-13 13:00:50

Fab news school!! So pleased for you :-) Hope you are able to relax a bit now, did you ask for a scan at 14 weeks or do you have to wait til 20 now? X

orangebowl Mon 11-Feb-13 13:10:23

They've booked me in for a scan at 17 weeks, than the routine 20 week one. Given I'm almost 13 weeks now 17 wks doesn't feel too far away. I do feel lots better now definitely. X

butterfly86 Mon 11-Feb-13 13:14:51

Glad you feel better, that's good you will have another scan before 20 weeks just for reassurance 17 weeks will be here before you know it. Your good news has really cheered me up it gives the rest of us hope x

teaandchocolate Mon 11-Feb-13 13:34:57

Yey that's amazing news!! You must feel so happy and relieved. The time will start to fly now. Are you telling people about the pregnancy now?

twentythirteen Mon 11-Feb-13 14:32:06

Wonderful news School, how do you feel?

Oh! I missed all the ranting abou tbeing fed up, damn it. I've been in bed with a cold all weekend and have just come to work the last few hours from home, but so far have only made myself a hot cholocate and hot water bottle and have sat down for a catch up on here blush. I am officially at least on the 2ww, for what it's worth, really don't feel like I had a proper chance this month. I know the ranting is over but a lot of what you all said resonated so much with me, seeing a perfect baby scan, etc. I'm jealous of people who haven't hd a mc. I'm jealous of their healthy,happy pregnancies, of how casual they seem. Saw my lovely, wonderful very good friend recently and could barely hold it together. It's like I've resigned myself to a spot of functional depression for the time being. I was at a thing a couple of weeks back and someone I hadn't seen for ages came up and actually patted my belly and raised an eyebrow as if to enquire about my pregnancy. I think I could happily be a hermit right now. Are you feeling any better Butterfly? Can you have a good cry? Sometimes it needs to come out.

butterfly86 Mon 11-Feb-13 14:58:35

Hi twenty feel free to rant away it's a shame you missed last night I was really on one haha! I think I feel a bit better today but it's my day off and I'm in the house on my own so I haven't spoken to a soul all day, who knows what would happen if I came in to contact with somebody!! Yes I could happily be a hermit too smile I haven't had a good cry yet but I probably need one I really had to stop the tears spilling over in the supermarket yesterday, sobbing in the veg aisle is not a good look! I need to watch a sad film I think.
We aren't "trying" but aren't preventing it either so I guess seeing as you mention it. I'm in the 2ww too. Does anybody get sore boobs from as early as cd18 ish? I normally have a 31 day cycle x

twentythirteen Mon 11-Feb-13 15:12:52

I've been there Butterfly, stiffling back tears while trying to get on with things, or even on my own when I just didn't feel like crying again and force myself to watch/read/listen to something. I really wish there was a place where I could just pitch up and they'd kind of mother me in a good way and get all the tears out and then return to the world again with having got that out of my system. I hate trying to manage my own moods around this. A colleague at work, her partner died, and she walks around saying she is in a mood and won't take this or that. I keep mine to myself and put on a social facade and then become drained.

I don't get sore boobs with my cycle, only when pg, so I can't help with that one. Do you normally get sore boobs?

I'm cd 17 but my cycle ranges by 7/8 days, and our attempt this month was pretty half hearted on my part. We've got an appt with the consultant at the end of the month about the results of all our tests so I think I'm waiting. The appt is such that I will have only just found out I'm pg if it happens this month so that could be good timing... unless they say we're carrying the gene for some hideous thing.

(and I'm supposed to be working and instead wondering if I should make pop corn, oh dear!)

butterfly86 Mon 11-Feb-13 15:48:27

I keep mine to myself too people ask how are you and I always say I'm fine when really I should say actually this is hideous and I'm really not ok, but most of the time people wouldn't know how to respond so I just pretend.

Sometimes I get sore boobs but normally later. My boobs are probably messed up too!! Unless I ovulated earlier.
My app with my consultant is 2 days after my period is due funnily enough.

I'm supposed to be doing my housework! Get yourself some popcorn made stuff the work smile

teaandchocolate Mon 11-Feb-13 15:51:24

Butterfly glad you're feeling a bit better. Although I know what you mean about not seeing people - I'm never sure how moody I'm being until I have to be sociable and then I usually realise I'm in a grump! I also only get sore boobs when pregnant (although since DD they haven't actually been sore during my pregnancies but that might be because they didn't get far enough?). Anyway if I got sore boobs Id think I was pregnant. But CD18 sounds pretty early (although this is from the person who was convinced they had morning sickness about 2 dpo!).

Twenty feel free to rant any time!! Everyone keeps telling me how well I cope but I can't be bothered to be coping. Sometimes I just want to shout at everyone. But I don't as its not exactly socially acceptable. Plus I can't bear the thought of people feeling sorry for me. Anyway you can be as angry and miserable as you like on here. The antithesis of the happy conception threads!!

twentythirteen Mon 11-Feb-13 16:43:01

In the end I opted for tea with toast with home made marmalade. I've been officially off the clock for 30 minutes now though so I only feel a little guilty!

I hate the pretending bit Butterfly, mostly because I think I'm too nice and wouldn't want to impact on anyone with my mood. But also, truthfully I don't want to talk about it at work, or most places - I barely speak to oh about it.

We're at similar stages in our cycles but yours seems reliably longer. Good luck. How are you with symptom spotting? How long ago did you ovulate? I symptom spot, I test like mad, etc. I basically used to hate the 2ww but now think it's relatively so much better than the time between af and ovulation. Does that phase have a name?

Ooh, yes, Tea, I also can't bear the thought of anyone feeling sorry for me. My fear is that I will be thought of as "that friend of so and so's who left it too late and just had a string of miscarriages, no baby, how sad, tsk". I was told by a couple of people that I was stoical with this last one and I felt a sense of pride over managing to keep the craziness private.

butterfly86 Mon 11-Feb-13 16:44:26

I know cd18 would be very early I'm not getting all mental thinking I'm pregnant just a bit curious. I wonder if you can get sore boobs when you ovulate, they are tender down the sides then I keep getting like a achy shooting pain. God only knows my poor body doesn't know where it's at!!

twentythirteen Mon 11-Feb-13 16:47:43

I just googled "sore breats after ovulation and got this off something called Babymed,

A: Many women normally experience sore or tender breasts right after they ovulate (the 2 ww) and until they get their next period. Some of these women may turn out to be pregnant while many others will get their period and are not pregnant.

There are several possible reasons for breasts to be sore after ovulation:

Normal Ovulation
Sore breasts after ovulation usually come from the progesterone hormone and are a very good sign that you have ovulated. Witch each day after ovulation your progesterone increases until you either get your period (it then goes down) or you are pregnant (it then goes up).

So I wonder if at the very least you could take it as a sign of ovulation?

butterfly86 Mon 11-Feb-13 17:00:22

Thanks twenty! Well I don't really track but if I go by ewcm I usually ovulate around cd18 which was yesterday so that ties in with the sore boobs, I suppose it's maybe a good sign my progesterone is ok. I try not to symptom spot if I can help it and seeing as we are just "seeing what happens" I'm trying not to think about it too much.
How long ago did you ovulate?

Ps I think it's called the follicular phase??

twentythirteen Mon 11-Feb-13 17:21:11

Ooh, thanks, Butterfly.

I don't know when I ovulated. Usually it's clear but this month I got a pos on both cd 13 and cd 16. (I've stopped testing as I've never had a cycle go longer than 31 days. I had some very strong ovary twinges starting from cd 9 up until yesterday, so I imagine, with my no-medical-knowledge brain, that ovulation was a chore for my body this month and it might not have happened. OR I could be 1 or 4 dpo, who knows! We only dtd twice so I was also googling for the shortest life span of sperm hoping to have covered our tracks but unfortunately sperm can die really quickly! This will be a weird 2ww.

I respect your "seeing what happens". I too easily go down the route of symptom spotting/testing, but somehow it doesn't depress me.

coffeeandwalnut Wed 13-Feb-13 11:23:38

Hello, I'd like to join you all if that's OK? I've spent the morning reading the thread, I got my 3rd BFP last week but started to bleed on Monday. I was about 6 weeks, each MC has been around the same time so all too early for scans. The GP has referred me to the EPAU but the appointment isn't until Friday. I'm at home today just cannot face work and we have three pregnant girls in the office, so it's all a bit much really.

We have been TTC for nearly 2 years, I'm 32 DH is 37, no DC's. just wanted to share really as you have all said it is really shitty and difficult to tell friends family. Although school your news is just fantastic and gives me hope that there will be a happy ending smile

teaandchocolate Wed 13-Feb-13 19:49:11

Hi Coffeeandwalnut and welcome! So sorry that you've found yourself here though and sorry for your losses. I hope we can help support you. It's pretty cr@p isn't it?!

Will you ask to be referred for tests now that you've had 3? I would stay off work for as long as you feel you need to. You need time to recover physically and emotionally. It's just the worst when everyone else is pregnant - everyone I know seems to be pregnant! Have you told many people in RL about the mcs?

orangebowl Wed 13-Feb-13 21:28:38

Hi coffee. ( now we have a tea and a coffee!). So sorry for your losses. As tea says will you get yourself referred for tests now? At how many weeks had your miscarriages been?

Oh I am most definitely not out of the woods yet and still need you all! . Still got that doubt and worry (although do feel a bit more positive after 12 week scan).

butterfly86 Thu 14-Feb-13 10:07:09

Welcome coffeeandwalnut sorry that you find yourself here. You will get a lot of good advice from the ladies on here x

Well don't know what's going on with my cycle I've got light brown spotting that started yesterday cd21 and had back cramps, I'm either going to get af super early or my cycle is just totally messed up...aarrrrggghhh!

LandsN Thu 14-Feb-13 11:34:19

Hi ladies after a bit of advice if I can please af was due on 12/2 but still nothing done a test and its a bfn feeling sick a lot but feel like af is coming but nothing happens has anyone else had this? Not many other symptoms bit of cramping and back ache did think it would be bfp but unfortunately not sad confused as I am normally regular t.i.a. Xx

LandsN Thu 14-Feb-13 12:08:29

I have just read a post on another site and am now panicking if the pregnancy is eptopic would the test show + or - it said neg but I am not sure starting to worry x

butterfly86 Thu 14-Feb-13 13:31:52

Hi Lands it is still possible you could be pg and it's not showing yet you could have ov later than you thought or your af could just be a couple of days late. I usually have regular cycles but they have been a bit messed up after mc's, your mc was quite recent (dec?) so your body might be still settling back down.
I'm not sure about ectopic I would think it would still show + as the hormone is there I could be wrong though, try not to worry yourself about that I think you sometimes bleed with ectopic and have one sided pain and pain in the shoulder. I would keep an eye and test in another couple of days if no af, hope it's a bfp for you x

LandsN Thu 14-Feb-13 14:07:48

Thank u hopefully worrying about nothing x

josiebear84 Thu 14-Feb-13 15:01:31

Hi ladies,

Introducing myself after just going through my third miscarriage a couple of weeks ago and feeling pretty shitty about it. I had my first last March at just under 16 weeks and fell pregnant again a couple of months later but the scan showed an empty sac. My lovely husband and I then moved back from his native Australia to my native Scotland, started trying again in January, found out I was pregnant at about 4 weeks and then I started bleeding at 5 and a half weeks which led into a full period and negative test. We thought it would be different this time as we were making huge efforts to do everything right and I was back home etc...

I'm currently waiting to be allocated to a GP and then have a referral to a lovely OB who my mum works with which I'm quite dreading even though I like and trust him, I just feel like I don't want to be in this situation any more and I talk about it again. I had a barrage of tests after my first loss because it was further on, nothing came up and now I'm wondering what's next.

I am overweight but generally fit and healthy, feeling guilty about myself at the moment though and not really showing myself much love if I'm honest... Just want to keep trying but I'm so terrified of going through it again xxxx

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Thu 14-Feb-13 16:30:46

Hello. Can I join please. I'm currently going through my 3rd Mc in 14 months. 1st was at 9 weeks, 2nd at 9 weeks but it never properly grew and todays is only 5 weeks.

We've had all the tests as we paid privately to see a consultant and there is sod all wrong with me or DH. They did find cysts on my ovaries and put me on clomid. I was on cycle 2 when I got my BFP last week and taking 75mg of aspirin a day.

Does anyone know what my options may be now in terms of TTC again?

teaandchocolate Thu 14-Feb-13 17:36:15

So many posts since I last checked!

Butterfly do you think it could be implantation bleeding? Although I kind of hate it when that's suggested as I usually think its just wishful thinking. I know how annoying it is when your cycle goes crazy and you don't understand what's going on inside. I was going insane when I had no AF and no bfp and actually felt miles better when AF finally turned up as at least I knew where I stood! Do you know if you definitely ovulated?

Lands I agree with Buttefly. Definitely don't panic yet. If it was ectopic firstly you'd still get a bfp and secondly you wouldn't have pain yet - midwife told me it usually shows up between 6-8 weeks in one side. Chances are your cycles have just gone a bit haywire and you ovulated a bit later. Just try to hang on in there and test again in a couple of days if no AF. Ugh I hate all this it's so confusing isn't it?!! We all seem to have crazy cycles - I'm sure being total pregnancy stress heads doesn't help.

Josie and Buggerlugs (can I call you that?!!) welcome to the thread and I'm so sorry you've ended up here. Seems to be getting busy at the moment which is sad as we're all having a rubbish time but at least there are others going through the same thing. I hope we can all offer you some support and somewhere to rant!!

Seems like you've both had tests and nothings been found. What tests have you had so far? I have also had quite a few tests and nothings been found. Although I've not gone down the NK cells route yet as several of the consultants I've seen (4in total now!) said I don't really fit the 'type' however if I have another loss I probably will. I also haven't had the intensive St Mary's clotting issue tests or the hidden infection tests. Anyway I guess what I'm saying is that if you want to carry on with testing there is probably more you can have. However whether you want to spend the money and wait longer and potentially still find nothing is another matter. I keep finding stories of women having numerous miscarriages and still having normal pregnancies. I also couldn't even decide who to see for tests as everyone has their own theories and so does different tests. It's pretty confusing!

Do you have any DCs yet? Sorry to reply to you both together just seems like you're at a similar stage in this crappy process.

Josie did they test the baby that you lost for chromosomal abnormalities? I'm so sorry that happened to you. I've been 'lucky' in that my latest loss was at the 12 week scan but it must just be horrendous to get to the 'safe' stage and still lose your baby.

Anyway think I've rambled on long enough!

LandsN Thu 14-Feb-13 18:23:57

Thank you I went to see my gp to b on the safe side and he told me the same I feel a bit silly tbh I hope if af not here by Monday I get a bfp fingers crossed x

butterfly86 Thu 14-Feb-13 20:06:37

Welcome to the new ladies but I'm sorry that you find yourselves here, I hope we can give you some good advice. I would have written similar replies to tea so I'll leave it at that, feel free to chat anytime x

Tea implantation crossed by mind I won't deny it! But is that possible as early as day22? It's light brown hasn't progressed to anything else so far. I don't know if I def ovulated I really should do opk then I would know, my last cycle was on time even thought it was first one after mc so I just assumed I was back to normal it's so. annoying isn't it! X

teaandchocolate Thu 14-Feb-13 20:47:38

According to Dr Google that's exactly when implantation would occur!! But don't want to get your hopes up. I also get breakthrough bleeding when my hormones are being crazy. Fingers crossed for you.!

butterfly86 Thu 14-Feb-13 21:04:03

Really?! For some reason I thought it was when af is due, I'll try not to read too much in to and and just wait and see don't want to get my hopes up when it might just be a crazy cycle!
How are you doing? X

teaandchocolate Thu 14-Feb-13 21:58:24

Well not too long til u can test. Have you ever had implantation bleeding before? I feel like its a bit of an urban myth...!

I'm doing ok at the moment. I'm usually ok during AF though and its finished now so probably should start ttc again soon! Need to try to stay sane this cycle though as kind of lost the plot last time. I've given up eating healthy an am just trying to exercise instead. Makes me much happier eating cake and drinking proper tea!! Just trying to think positive and praying it works this month. Watched OBEM last night & keep thinking I wish I'd started ttc when I was 20!!!! Feel so old at 33....!

How are you feeling?

butterfly86 Thu 14-Feb-13 22:47:23

I had implantation bleeding with pg 2 and 3 a few days before af was due I thought it was rare to get it but obviously not, with the last pg when I rang up to arrange scan I mentioned I'd had spotting she said it sounds like ib so they must believe in it too, didn't make them stick any better though sad

Glad you are feeling ok smile I try to eat healthy but sometimes you just need naughty things! I watched obem too they were very young last night! This series has been good didn't cover it last night but the last few episodes have featured women who've had a couple of mc I don't know if you've seen it I cried at those episodes but it's good that they touched on it.

I'm ok I've been very relaxed and was proud of myself but it's when I get in to the 2ww it all goes to pot and this is me not really trying! I hope you manage to not lose the plot and you get lucky this month...it's valentines night so get bd'ing!! None for me though I'm afraid sad x

josiebear84 Fri 15-Feb-13 09:25:03

Good morning everyone and tea thanks so much for your reply.

Yes the first loss at 16 weeks was absolutely devastating as we had a normal pregnancy until that point and baby was looking very healthy and happy. I did have some spotting which was frightening but stopped by 12 weeks. They didn't run tests on our baby but did see from a last minute scan that there was a blood clot which had formed behind the placenta and was causing it to detatch, so that is likely what caused us to lose the baby. I know what you mean it sounds strange to ever consider yourself 'lucky' in this situation but at the same time I can appreciate the difference between that loss and my most recent at just over 5 weeks and don't think I could ever be coping with 3 like the first.

I had testing for blood clotting disorders, infections, thyroid function, liver function and other which I can't remember... Nothing abnormal was revealed. We don't have any DC yet but are so ready and just yearning for it really. I know you will all understand that every time there's a new pregnancy on my FB feed it is like a slap in the face and I just can't help those feelings of jealousy. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but I don't want to be the one who has to go through it either.

Anyway, my plan at the moment is to wait until after our wedding on 20th April (we got married in Oz last August but this is our 'official' wedding celebration) and use the time in between to work on being as healthy as possible and see the new OB to find out if he thinks there is more testing that could be valuable. The first thing he said when I got in touch with him is that the future still looks very bright for us and I appreciate his postivity, but I'm sure you'll all know that's small comfort when it feels like we're destined to go through this over and over again.

With regards to implantation bleeding, I know a few people who have actually had it and it was around the time there first period would have been due.

Anyway sorry for the giant post but at least it's a full introduction!!!

Jo xxx

twentythirteen Fri 15-Feb-13 16:56:13

What a lot to catch up on!

Hi Coffee, sorry to hear about your mc's, this is a very welcoming thread, hoe you can find some support here.

Butterfly you poor thing with this weird cycle stuff! Fingers and toes crossed for you. I had implantation bleeding once, of course may have missed it before, but it was the same month that I also had a clear pinch sensation around the time of implantation. Have you had anything like that?

Fingers crossed LandsN, I worry about ectopic every month and this one's no different, here's hoping for good news when you test Monday.

Welcome Justplain, you've been through the wringer. What kind of information are you looking for re ttc again?

Hi Josie, I'm sorry to hear what you've been through, tosecond what someone above wrote, it is crap. I'm also struggling to look after myself as well as I should, it's hard to look after my body when it's not doing what I want. Let's hope we both get back to looking after ourselves properly!

Hi Tea you're much better at the follicular (!) phase than I am, much prefer to 2ww nowadays!

No real news from me. Thankfully, I seem to keep forgetting where I am in my cycle, which is great. I've also had a cold, which has taken the focus a bit. It doesn't stop me from obsessively ss'ing though! I think I've had some pinching sensation around the time of implantation this month. I also think I've got a cyst, quite a painful one, which I last had in my first pregnancy. I googled in the hope that they were pregnancy related but that's not the case. Is that why you were given clomid... grr, can't find who said they were given clomid!!! Can someone comment? blush I will know by the end of next week if I'm pg. I'm so tempted to pop the occassional aspirin but I was told to wait, and I know it can cause problems with implantation so I'm not.

Hope everyone's looking forward to nice weekends?!

butterfly86 Fri 15-Feb-13 20:52:33

Hi twenty fingers crossed for you too not long until you can test! I'm going to ask my consultant about asprin again she said I didn't need it as my clotting tests were negative but it surely can't do any harm can it? I actually had pinching all the way home from work tonight it wasn't in the lower abdomen it was more at the top of my "bits" is that where you would feel it?

twentythirteen Fri 15-Feb-13 21:32:19

Last time the pinching sensation was so clear, as in "oh, that's where my womb is", but I didn't have it with previous pg's. I don't know if this was the implantation pinching or not, I ss too much now! Anyway, I tried to copy a link but can't. If you google women's reproductive system you get pics of where things are and can therefore work out the where the sensation should be! Don't forget though that all our reproductive bits float around a bit (which I learned at my last mc) too so a pic isn't going to be accurate 100%.

That's great you know that you don't need aspirin. Do be careful, I think it can be harmful but I can't recall. I was told to take it because they now advise all women from 40+ to take it and I just fall into that category! Do you have any other symptoms?!

butterfly86 Fri 15-Feb-13 21:50:33

Mine seems to be quite low in comparison to where the picture shows the uterus to be but a lot of the pregnancy stuff I've read says the uterus is tucked behind the pubic bone so I'm confused! Yesterday when I woke up and went to turn over I got a really sharp stitch type pain on the right hand side it made me shout but it lasted seconds then went but was a bit tender for a little while after that. I've got brown spotting this is now the 3rd day but it's only when I wipe I've had lower back cramps on and off and my boobs are sore, I suppose they could all be af symptoms too but I'm about 9 days away from when it should be due unless
I'm just having a really short cycle!

I read conflicting things about asprin some people take it even when the tests are negative some say you shouldn't which is why I probably need to see what consultant says she said no last time I asked but I feel like I need to do something to prevent it from happening again, guess I'm looking for a miracle really...

twentythirteen Fri 15-Feb-13 22:20:58

I get that looking for a miracle. It sounds like a very confusing cycle too. Have you had cycles like this before? Do you normally get back cramps and sore boobs?

I'm begining to think I'm premenstrual now rather than possibly pg. Ugh! I have to say, I've got a terrible meeting I have to sit through on friday with someone who's been harrassing me, trying to get me to do what they want. I'm refusing, it's an inappropriate request, and they are angry with me. I have a very low threshold for not being liked, I can't bear it!!! That meeting will be all the harder if I'm pms and or just starting af that day!

butterfly86 Fri 15-Feb-13 22:39:49

I can't really say what a normal cycle is for me now really as I've had 2 periods at most inbetween mc and things are still settling down in those cycles so can't really monitor it, before ttc I was on the pill for 10 years. A normal "perfect cycle" which I've had a few of before falling pg the first time would be 29-31 days long with no spotting mid cycle. I'm very lucky compared to a lot of people my cycles are a normal amount of days long so it's not too bad really.
I do get sore boobs but it started very early
this month I've had the odd month where they don't hurt as much, I can also get back cramps but usually during af not. this far in advance. My last cycle was the first following mc and came bang on time so I expected to be back to normal whatever that is!

Sorry you have an awful meeting to go to but god help them if you are premenstrual...give them hell!! I'm a very quiet placid person but my tolerance levels are very low now I think it's all this crap I've been through, I can be outspoken when I would normally avoid confrontation but it is quite funny at times, I need to chill out a bit I think! Have been considering seeing a counsellor to try and get things off my chest to somebody disconnected from the situation x

twentythirteen Sat 16-Feb-13 09:49:04

It sounds like you might still be in the wtf cycle, it can take up to 6 months to normalise, but some think we're more fertile in that 6 months so it's not all bad. Counselling can be useful, although speaking your mind sounds like a good thing too! And yeah, I woke this morning early thinking about that meeting that's still 6 days away, Argh, and then feeling tearful over a radio news slot about random acts of kindness. I don't think ill be able to hold a diplomatic or equanimous mindset anytime soon!

LandsN Sat 16-Feb-13 11:11:37

Hi ladies I have just finally given in and done another test and got a bfp smile I am so scared but want to b so happy xx

teaandchocolate Sat 16-Feb-13 11:51:57

Congrats LandsN!! Fingers crossed for you. Really hope it works this time. I know its so stressful though and hard to be happy!!

LandsN Sat 16-Feb-13 12:01:22

Thank you so much I am going to go to my gp Monday morning and demand tests straight away so hopefully if there is any problem they will find it ASAP and hope the vitamins I have been taking help as that is the only difference I can think of between the 2 I have had and the 3 I lost I was not taking them so worth a try x

twentythirteen Sat 16-Feb-13 16:36:29

Wonderful news LandsN! It's a complex time feelings-wise. You've reminded, a friend once suggested I let both the good and the bad feelings to sit alongside each other, not to fight the one or force the other, as that wasn't reality. Hope that's not too wooly! Fx your GP is helpful Monday!!!

LandsN Sat 16-Feb-13 17:42:46

Thank you I am not going to go quietly this time I have learnt too much valuable info of the lovely ladies on here so I can see some demanding coming loli just hope I get passed that dreaded 9 weeks I cant seem to get passed x

butterfly86 Sat 16-Feb-13 21:32:33

Congratulation Lands hope it all goes well for you this time! What vitamins have you been taking this time I might look i to taking some extra things?

Af started this morning so now I know what the spotting was, my cyles must still be messed up I've never had one this short if I count today as day 1 as that's when red bleeding started it was 24 days.
I think I might get some opk's for this next month to make sure I am ovulating, this month I either didn't ov or it happened way earlier than I thought.

orangebowl Sat 16-Feb-13 22:08:39

Congratulations Lands! I won't do all the super excited stuff as I know it's a cautious time as well as an exciting one. Let us know what the docs say. X

LandsN Sat 16-Feb-13 22:31:12

Thanks I have been taking seven seas trying for a baby ( original name lol) might b wrong but worth a try ! Thank you so much all of u it's still sinking in as I took me 2 years to conceive last time xx

teaandchocolate Sun 17-Feb-13 09:32:06

Butterfly sorry AF arrived and that you're having a crazy cycle. How are you feeling?

I also take a million vitamins which one consultant I saw (who's quite into alternative stuff) reviewed and said sounded like a good combination. FWIW I take these which are expensive but good quality (I hope!) I also take high strength vitamin c (500mg x 2 a day) and vitamin D and high strength flaxseed oil (for omega 3). I rattle when I walk!!

LandsN Sun 17-Feb-13 09:37:25

I am going to check with my gp Monday that they are the best ones to take I am a bit nervous this morning thinking about what tests etc they will do just hope that they find the problem or the vitamins are the answer its the only difference I can see but I am no doctor x

teaandchocolate Sun 17-Feb-13 09:50:21

To be honest I doubt your GP will know about the vitamins. I've never found they have specific rmc knowledge letalone knowledge of a holistic approach to encourage successful pregnancies. Although its worth checking that what you take won't do any harm.

LandsN Sun 17-Feb-13 10:16:53

My gp is a bit of a wet weekend tbh going to contact my midwife for advice too just want to cover all bases x

butterfly86 Sun 17-Feb-13 13:21:29

Hi tea I feel ok I wouldn't say I'm too disappointed that af has arrived just trying to think well at least it's giving my body a bit of time to recover and it obviously wasn't ready for a pregnancy this month. I think I might need to look at what I could be taking all I take is a combined folic acid & vit d tablet, I was taking pregnacare but they made me feel sick I thought I had morning sickness! I have a good diet and eat a lot of fruit & veg so hopefully I get some goodness from that but supplements might help x

teaandchocolate Sun 17-Feb-13 19:11:47

Glad you're doing ok Butterfly. Sounds like your body is just taking time to readjust. It's good in a way as means its out of your control an you get a breather before another hideous 2ww!!

I started taking the vits with DD and that pregnancy worked. So I started taking them again after 2nd mc and now feel like I can't stop in case they're important!! Costs me a fortune but I have managed to avoid all the nasty illnesses going round so wonder whether it has strengthened my immune system. I also like feeling like I'm doing something.

butterfly86 Sun 17-Feb-13 21:52:48

I'm just not used to being this messed up with erpc's my cycle went straight back to normal no messing about. If I hadn't started to bleed I would have said I was pregnant by the way I feel, my boobs are unbearably sore I've slept on the sofa for nearly 3 hours this afternoon and I've been having the weirdest most vivid dreams! I'm still only bleeding brown had a touch of red but it's gone again def too much to be ib though.

I might pop to the health shop and see what they can recommend in way of vits if I can't have asprin might as well try something else, at least I will feel like I'm doing something x

twentythirteen Sun 17-Feb-13 22:21:44

Boo, that damn af butterfly, and by the way, b6 is meant to lengthen luteal phase so you might look into that, it stabalised my erratic cycles after my last mc and I didn't wait to see how it was going to be this time, just started taking them and cycle has been ok. The reason I started taking my vitamin mix was because of my trouble hormonal mood swings Anne it helped immediately. sounds like your hormones are all over they place, that's gotta be tough. Sorry for typos, am on phone!

butterfly86 Sun 17-Feb-13 22:53:32

Hey twenty smile is the b6 ok to take once your cycles have stabilisied like if you fell pg while taking it would that be ok? I'm sick of feeling so up and down it has got to be my hormones I'm not normally like this.
Had a little cry earlier which I probably needed, not because af started though I was texting my cousin who is more like a sister and we were just talking about things I jokingly said to her at this rate you might have to be my surrogate, she replied I would do anything for you I would do it for you without a 2nd thought but you won't need me to. That got the tears going just at how lovely she is x

teaandchocolate Sun 17-Feb-13 23:05:41

Ah Butterfly sorry you're feeling down. That's just how I was a couple of weeks ago and I'm sure hormones do have a big role to play. However we are all also having a shitty time and that can't be underestimated. It's hard work dealing with all this!! I would massively recommend acupuncture to sort out any hormonal imbalance and feelings of stress/anxiety/sadness. I find it amazingly helpful. I went a couple of weeks ago on one of my worst days - I just cried to the poor lady. However on the way home I felt really happy & positive. It was such an amazing transformation. Then I went again a week later when AF still hadn't turned up and it came the next morning!! It's not cheap and I hate needles but worth a try??

For vitamins and supplements I found this lady really helpful (she worked at a clinic I used to go to) here

butterfly86 Sun 17-Feb-13 23:27:35

It is shitty but you know sometimes I think am I dwelling on this too much and do other people think for god's sake pull yourself together and snap out of it! (I'm sure they don't really) But it is hard work and very stressful something that somebody who hasn't been through it could never begin to understand.
Is your accupuncturist specifically for fertility issues or a general one? I've been keep thinking about having it there is a fertility one near to me, I know it's not cheap but I don't mind I'll do anything. I'm going for a spa day and having reflexolgy as one of my treatments so hoping that will help with the stress!

Thank you for the link it's really interesting I like how she explains why you should take each vitamin and what it does. I'll be rattling like you but whatever it takes!

teaandchocolate Mon 18-Feb-13 08:58:11

I feel like I'm also completely obsessed as I constantly think about the fact I'm not pregnant/don't have another baby. I know everyone says not to stress about it but how can you not dwell??!

My acupuncturist specialises in fertility, she actually used to be a midwife. It important that you find one you trust and feel comfortable with. I went to see someone else but changed as I just wasn't convinced by them and their style. I think there's a British acupuncture council or something so you might be able to find a list of people in your area. My lady also seems to have some knowledge of vitamins and supplements so has advised me on that too. It's also great having someone you can just talk to in detail about boring fertility stuff (like we do on here!!).

FWIW I don't think pull yourself together and snap out of it! In fact I think we are all pretty immune to mc. It's only when I read other threads on here and someone might say oh my gosh you had a mc, or 3 mc that's terrible, that I realise how shocking multiple mc really are.

butterfly86 Mon 18-Feb-13 12:06:12

I've emailed a lady this morning about accupuncture she seems to do a lot of work with people going through ivf so hopefully she might be quite knowledgeable with this sort of thing I'll see what she says.

Thank you for not thinking I'm nuts! I think I'm just a bit sick at the minute, what is it with me and sundays I was like this last week!! Last night I was all for getting in touch with the bereavement councillor the hospital recommend I feel like I might need a chat with her...but I've chickened out now!

twentythirteen Mon 18-Feb-13 14:59:23

Tea, I feel obsessed, I think about mc/pg every day. I can't wait for that to be gone, if nothing else once the menopause starts! My oh kept something yesterday because it would be useful one day, potentially, so we are also surrounded by it.

And you're not nuts butterfly, this is all so hard! As for vitamins, I can't remember and don't want to misguide you. I stop them when I'm pg but i've never had anyone too speak to until now.

Uff, sitting at my desk having eaten loads, am exhausted and a bit crampy, wish it was next week already when I will either be on a fresh count down or pg.

teaandchocolate Mon 18-Feb-13 15:27:02

I wish I knew the answer to not thinking about all this stuff! I thought that my personality didn't help as I tend to think too much and dwell on things but looks like we all do it!! It does make you feel like you're going nuts though with all these thought whirring around inside your head!!

Butterfly I do think Sundays are the worst!! Although Mondays are often not great for me as I work from home so have too much time to worry/google! However I don't feel sad today just the constant agitation that time is ticking away! CD13 for me so already obsessing over ovulation signs! What CD is everyone else on?! Might as well indulge our obsession here while noones looking.. grin

Twenty I guess thats one positive about the menopause!! I am also at my desk eating crap and gazing out at the lovely weather wishing I was somewhere else!

orangebowl Mon 18-Feb-13 16:01:45

Hi girls.
None of you are crazy.. Well, if you are then we all are!

I am in bed at home today as appear to have some kind of gastroenteritis. hmm

Was sick first thing in the morning and thought was just morning sickness but then it just didnt stop and I was being sick every 15 mins ish till midday. Since then it's been maybe once an hour/45 mins on average so bit better.

Yuck horrid. Phoned GP as worried about baby but she basically said he/ she will be fine and I will come off the worst (good!).

So just trying to keep water down which I have so far failed to do.

Tea.. Are you doing of sticks? (Sorry lost track a bit these last few days of what everyone is up to).

butterfly86 Mon 18-Feb-13 18:08:06

Twenty & Tea well I've been good today and eaten no crap! I went back to weight watchers after 7 months off so I have to be good now, have only got about 11 pound to lose so not a lot but I've been left with a couple of extra pounds from each pregnancy and I want them off.

School you poor thing the sickness bug is a nasty one I had it a while back sad hope you feel better soon.

Well I plucked up the courage to phone the councillor today and cried while I was talking to her! She can't fit me in for a few weeks but I'm pleased I've made the appointment. I'm sick of this bleeding now it isn't really getting started it's just brown and isn't even making it on to a panty liner just when I wipe, I was using tampons yesterday but not today as wasn't a lot there when I changed them (sorry if tmi!) I hope I'm not just going to bleed like this until my period was actually due!

teaandchocolate Mon 18-Feb-13 19:17:30

School you poor thing! That bug sounds horrendous, I hope you're better soon. Make sure you don't get dehydrated.

I don't really use the opks as find them a faff and have never got a positive. I did another one after your post and again got no line!! There the cheapo amazon ones and not sure I trust them! However I wouldn't actually expect to ovulate yet as my cycles are either mental or quite long. Just going to dtd until AF arrives....& I hope it won't be as long as last cycle!

Buttefly glad you made the appointment. I always feel better taking positive steps. The counsellor and healthy eating sound like good ideas. I had a bit of counselling after my 1st mc & it was quite interesting - although ultimately I didn't really cheer up til I got to 14 weeks pregnant!! . I might try to do my exercise DVD tonight as feeling guilty after all the biscuits!!

orangebowl Tue 19-Feb-13 08:12:07

I'm having a panic for some reason todayhmm

Not got another scan till 17 weeks and I am 14 weeks tomorrow.

DH away with work but back thurs night. Think I might book a private scan for Friday.

Wish I could chill out but can't stop thinking there's no heartbeat

teaandchocolate Tue 19-Feb-13 08:50:45

Hi School. I think this is a difficult time as its such a long wait for a scan and too early to feel movement for reassurance. Also as you've been having such regular scans its bound to feel unnerving going it alone. The chances are everything is totally fine but I would book a private scan just to put your mind at rest - not sure I could wait til 20 weeks either!! You're also probably feeling rubbish because you've been poorly.

Have you got lots to occupy yourself with until Friday?

orangebowl Tue 19-Feb-13 09:03:42

Thanks tea. You're right being ill probably hasn't helped. hospital are actually doing me the extra scan at 17 weeks as well as regulation 20 week one. But yes those regular 2 weekly scans were such a help.

I'm off work today as feeling pretty weak still (though sickness stopped now thank goodness). But working for rest of week so that always keeps me rushed off my feet combined with lookig after DS which is good I guess.

Like you say- just wish I could feel movement.

X

teaandchocolate Tue 19-Feb-13 09:32:29

Just make sure you take it easy and don't rush back to work until you're better. Remember you are doing all you can. You've done all the right things and a scan won't change anything. I know its hard (& I can't do it) but try not to imagine the worst. Although not sure if you're like me but after my 1st mc I only worried about 12 weeks however over this last year I've done so much mc research that i can imagine I now won't feel relaxed until a baby is actually here!!

Anyway stay off the Internet now! Book the scan then you've literally done all you can & its out of your hands. Then go and watch some crap TV and enjoy your sick day!! wink

butterfly86 Tue 19-Feb-13 09:48:03

Hi school I agree with tea I would book the scan or could you not ring the hospital and see if they could scan you? I would be exactly the same you need to put your mind at rest or the next 3 weeks will be torture.

Tea I've done the same as you and researched too much and scared myself, instead of just reading about what applies to me I've gone too far. Stupid beacause we can't un-read it now!

teaandchocolate Tue 19-Feb-13 09:54:13

Yes I've totally scared myself!! And while its comforting to know not everyone has an easy time I often worry that something worse will happen to me next time. Can't wait til I've finished with this 'having a family' business!

School you could ring the hospital and ask. Say you're stressed because you've had a tummy bug & can't work out which cramps are which?! Or something along those lines...

orangebowl Tue 19-Feb-13 10:26:17

Thanks butterfly. 3 weeks does seen ages!

Tea that's so funny I was thinking of calling the hospital and saying exactly that! Only thing is with DH being away I couldn't be fussy about the time and last time we thought all was ok because we had seen heartbeat at 7 weeks and I went for a scan with my sis. No heartbeat and DH abroad - was awful. So we swore we would make sure he was always there in future.

So anyway I've booked in at a private hospital for 7pm Friday.

Oh an in answer to your other thing tea about only worrying to 12 weeks, I do feel a LOT better since 12 week scan but just still have nowhere near the same confidence I did with DS.

Thanks for your support as always, makes me feel so much better.

Going to go get a shower and try and feel a bit more human!

butterfly86 Tue 19-Feb-13 15:38:24

Hope you feel better for booking the scan school smile

Anybody who has had accupuncture how often did you have to go? I'm trying to arrange an appointment but it's proving very difficult with working full time, the lady said my treatment will be restricted if I can only go on a monday as I would need to see her at specific points in my cycle. How do I manage that!

orangebowl Tue 19-Feb-13 15:44:51

Hey Butterfly.
I had weird non existing periods after one of my erpcs and had acupuncture but only once a week.. Sometimes once a fortnight.. And my lady did seen good. No idea if it did anything but I found it weirdly relaxing!

Yes I do feel better now I've booked the scan although also getting those pre- scan nerves- never happy!

teaandchocolate Tue 19-Feb-13 15:45:10

I go on the same day (tuesdays) as its a day when I have childcare and when the lady works near me. Usually every other week but sometimes more or less depending on what's going on. I've never been told that I need to go on specific days (seen 3 acupuncturists so far) as they usually fit around me! Would have thought that's more relevant with IVF but we just need general support - its not like we know on which day everything goes wrong! She sounds a little bit obstructive to me. Could you go to one near your work as that might open up the days/times you could visit?

butterfly86 Tue 19-Feb-13 16:04:57

Hope friday hurries up for you!

There is one other lady I'm going to try she's near where I work, the problem is I work until 7 most of the week but the beginning of the week is good for me. I've left a message so just waiting for her to call me back but it says on her website she can do evenings and weekends so might be better. The one I have been trying to get in with seemed to really specialise in all aspects of fertility which is why I plumped for her whereas this other lady only mentions ivf but it does say womens health so prob be ok. Also in. the first reply I got from first one she said herbs played an important part (she's chinese) I don't really fancy brewing herbs up etc and just wondered if she tries to get more money out of you! God it's stressing me out trying to get a bloody appointment for something that's meant to chill me out!!

teaandchocolate Tue 19-Feb-13 16:20:29

I've never been to a traditional Chinese practitioner so never had herbs either. Although I read an article in the paper about someone in London who apparently had amazing success with rmc and she used herbs as well as traditional acupuncture. After that I worried I needed to go and see someone else and get some herbs but I never did! You can't do everything can you! But I know what you mean - I hate spending a fortune on stuff which I don't really know whether it works and I still worry I'm not doing enough or am doing the wrong things! What did she seem like on the phone? Maybe have an initial appointment with both and see who you prefer?

twentythirteen Tue 19-Feb-13 17:43:59

Oh ffs, I just deleted my own post angry!!!

School, sorry to hear about your bug and glad to hear you have a scan booked Friday, wich you weren't having to pay for it - shouldn't your Trust give you more frequent scans re your rmc history?

Butterfly I've never tried acupuncture, good luck and hope you find a more flexible and encouraging/welcoming practitioner!

Fx Tea re ov this month!

Afm, I'm cd 25, last month AF came on cd 26 but have started as early as cd 24 and been as late as cd 30/31. Been feeling crampy all day, quite strongly, so I think it's on its way. I hope I'm wrong!

coffeeandwalnut Tue 19-Feb-13 17:49:45

Hi Ladies

Thank you very much for your kind words and welcome last week school tea and butterfly I've crawled back from up under my rock.. last week really took it out of me and I was much more emotional this time. so as an update I went to the EPAU on Friday they were as they have been before very lovely and supportive which I think is important, any way I had a scan but as suspected there was nothing there and by then most had come away.They also did a PT which was negative.

Unfortunately the hospital cannot refer us directly to the re-occurant MC clinic so I'm off to the GP to get the referral sorted out. We will then have to wait to see what we are offered in terms of testing, so I've spent lots of the weekend reading to see what we should be offered. It seems to be very dependent on who your consultant is and where you are based. DH and I have decided that if we can't or aren't offered everything then we will pay for it privately. I know there may not be anything worry with either of us but the control freak in me just has to know I've had it all done grin

Apart from that feeling better this week, think it maybe something to do with the sun actually appearing and not driving to and from work in the pitch black!

Hope you are feeling better school

orangebowl Tue 19-Feb-13 20:30:24

Hey Twenty. Hope you are wrong too .. It's cruel that pregnancy/ implantation symptoms are so similar to pre menstrual ones isn't it.

Re my scans.. Well I have already been given 4 instead of the usual 1 at 12 weeks and I have been booked in for one at 17 and one at 25 in addition to the 20 week one so don't feel that I can really complain- my care has been brilliant.

Coffee. Do you mind me asking where abouts in the country you are? From my research London st Mary's and Liverpool womens are 2 of the best clinics so if you can request either of those I would. Glad you are feeling bit better this week- I agree the sunshine helps I areas of all that grey!

KatieBurgum86 Tue 19-Feb-13 20:36:05

Hi ladies I'm new to this, just wanted to tell you about what's happened to me and hopefully get some advise?? Had ectopic preg removed via lap 4 weeks ago.. Horrible time we conceived with chlomid after years of trying with pcos. My hcg levels fell from 1200-700-120-70-40-23... The doc asked me to come back after 2 weeks to confirm its at zero which I did.. The hcg had risen to 27 and a week later again up to 40... The nurse initially told me she thought this is a new pregnancy then that its prob not just tissue left behind.. They going to test me again n 3 days.. Is it possible I'm pregnant or caught a week after my op? And if so wouldn't the levels have gone far higher than just an increase of 13?? I'm really scared at the thought of having the methox injection if I may be pregnant?? Anyone had anything similar?? I'm going out of my mind... xx

teaandchocolate Tue 19-Feb-13 20:46:23

Hi Katie. So sorry for what you're going through. I'm afraid I don't have any experience of ectopic pregnancies and afaik neither do the other ladies on here. I just wanted to say that

teaandchocolate Tue 19-Feb-13 20:52:22

Sorry posted by mistake! Was going to say you should post a new thread with your question in the title to get more answers but I see you've already done that. Im sure the hospital will be very careful to check whether its a new pregnancy. I think it could be possible to get pregnant immediately as for natural miscarriages I know some people are told to treat them as day 1 of a cycle so I guess you could have ovulated 2 weeks after your op? Hope you get some answers soon.

coffeeandwalnut Tue 19-Feb-13 21:00:39

Katie I don't have any experience of ectopic but I hope you get your answers, as tea says there are lots of people on MN who should be able to share their experiences and offer advice.

school I am in the North West but not Liverpool, Liverpool Women's does indeed seem to be one of the best. I'm going to ask the question at the GPs but I'm not sure how the referral system works and if they only fund you for your local hospital?

orangebowl Tue 19-Feb-13 21:06:58

Hi coffee
I'm in north west (Manchester) and just asked my GP to refer me there and she did no questions asked.
I wouldn't be here at (hopefully!) 14 weeks pregnant if it wasn't for Liverpool womens- I can't praise them enough.

teaandchocolate Tue 19-Feb-13 21:12:47

Coffee glad you're feeling a bit brighter this week. IME there are lots of ups and downs in this rubbish journey that is rmc! I feel differently throughout each day and can wake up feeling positive and happy and then end the day a massive misery in floods over nothing....and vice versa. I don't have any great advice re private tests and referrals because I also couldn't figure out where to go and who to see. I've seen a few consultants but not sure I'd recommend any of them!

School I do think its so good you're in the system and are treated so well. I don't think I will get any of that. I have my consultants mobile number and he will scan me but not sure he'll do it every 2 weeks. Although not sure why I'm actually worrying about that now! Need to actually get pregnant first!!!

coffeeandwalnut Tue 19-Feb-13 21:38:27

Really that's good to know School, I'll definitely be asking them then. Thanks Tea I'm still a bit all over the place too, it's really hard work and crappy somedays and you feel like you're at the bottom of the biggest mountain to climb.... again sad. I shall be treating myself to a glass of vino come Friday!

LandsN Tue 19-Feb-13 22:57:46

Hi ladies
Anyone who has been referred to a consultant roughly how long did it take from doctor sending referral to being contacted just a bit worried as midwife said today they might not call me in till 11 weeks problem being I don't get to that stage and will drive myself crazy by then its stupid they have got my notes surely they have to see me before then? X

orangebowl Wed 20-Feb-13 07:55:06

Hi lands. Mine was a bit weird as I had a miscarriage (missed mc 9 weeks ish) and went to docs week after erpc. That was beginning July. They made me an appointment for 6 weeks later but then called me a week before to say that actually it was too soon after the miscarriage and they want all your hormones to be "normal" before they do their tests so they postponed me another 4 weeks. So seems long but soul have been pretty quick if it wasn't for having just miscarried relatively late on.

LandsN Wed 20-Feb-13 08:01:12

Thank you Oh ok so quite quickly my worry is that they won't see me before the 8 weeks and its all going to go the same way again I might see about a self referral scan next week as I think I am going to drive myself mad otherwise x

teaandchocolate Wed 20-Feb-13 09:06:52

Lands I think your situation is different to Schools as you're pregnant again so I'm not sure what tests they can offer you. Unless anyone else knows differently? I'd have thought they should offer reassurance scans though well before 11 weeks! What has your GP said? Have you rung the EPU? Fwiw I've been given progesterone and aspirin to take in previous pregnancies as precautionary measures because I might as well take them even though there was no concrete reason to think I needed them.

LandsN Wed 20-Feb-13 09:19:28

I have been referred by my gp and he said he has marked it as urgent and to see the midwife ASAP who I saw yesterday and she said there nothing she can do yet and consultant might not call me in till 11 weeks which is worrying, I am going to ask about the aspirin and the other one too as it can't hurt surely she did say the vitamins wouldn't make a difference but to keep taking them !! I have not rung the epu yet was going to wait till next week as I am 5 weeks Friday so wanted to try and see a heart beat x

twentythirteen Wed 20-Feb-13 14:39:12

Hi LandsN, my"referral" to the consultant was because they work in the Swanee dept that managed my mc so I bypassed Gp altogether, the tests I had you could be pregnant during so I'd def chase it up. I agree, I've not carried a baby alive to 11 weeks and wouldn't find that st all reassuring.

I've got my af here, grr!

LandsN Wed 20-Feb-13 14:55:43

I have carried 2 full term and since my dd 8 years ago it has never got past 9 weeks which is very frustrating! I am going to start shouting very soon if nothing happens I can't afford to waste time even if the doctors can x I just feel like its out of my hands even though its my babies life at stake gggrrrrrr so frustrating x

butterfly86 Thu 21-Feb-13 10:11:50

Wow it's been busy on here since I was last on!
Still no different for me at the minute the spotting stopped last night after a week unless it decides to come back today! I'm cd29 now so af should be due in the next couple of days, if it is going to arrive I wish it would hurry up my boobs are about to explode I'm having to sleep in a sports bra they are that painful! Hope everyone's ok smile

Not long to wait for your scan now school x

orangebowl Thu 21-Feb-13 19:00:08

Hi everyone.

any news from anyone? i'm now getting a bit nervous for scan tomorrow. (nowhere near as much as previously but the nerves are definitely there!). on the plus side got a letter today to say that my NT tests came back as low risk for Downs so that's good. I know with my DS they actually gave me a 1:xxx chance but they havent done that this time- guess they may have changed how they do it. Anyway- another thing to tick off.

going to have a nice relaxing bath tonight as have had kind of tummy ache. not cramps or like an ache but almost like a strain- hard to describe, hope it's nothing.

x

LandsN Thu 21-Feb-13 19:05:28

Funny u say that I have had a bit of pain just above pubic bone tonight but is like a cross between a pulled muscle and a bruise so gonna get dc's in bed and have a nice relaxing bath x

orangebowl Thu 21-Feb-13 19:50:07

Lands that sounds like the uterus stretching you get very early on. Enjoy the bath! I'm just about to eat a piece I the banana cake I made with DS today with a glass of milk (weird I know!)

LandsN Thu 21-Feb-13 20:09:14

Ah yeah never got that last time thanks makes me relax a bit more no not weird it only occurred to me just now I have been eating dairylea sandwiches like they r going out of fashion but has to b brown bread with seasoning on I have had 3 today but only just realised how much of it I eating lol x

teaandchocolate Fri 22-Feb-13 09:32:10

School good luck for the scan. Let us know how you get on.

No news here....literally. I should be ovulating soon but have no ewcm. Keep getting light cramping which is central so doesn't feel like ovulation and been going on a couple of days. Worried my cycles messed up again and nothing's working!! I know worrying makes it worse but I just have no faith in it... What can mid cycle cramping mean?! It's very light and not painful but I can just about notice it - could it be in my head?!

butterfly86 Fri 22-Feb-13 15:49:24

School hope your scan went well x

Hi tea I wonder if the cramping could be totally unrelated? Either that or it is ov cramping and you are just getting a more general pain rather than one sided? It's funny how we scrutinise every little thing half the time I've probably just got wind yet I think somethings going on!!

I've booked an app with an accupuncturist but can't get in until 19th march, I like the sound of her though she's done some training with zita west so sounds good!
My spotting reappeared yesterday but none today cd30 so af should come tomorrow or sunday no idea what's been going on I've spotted non stop for 10 days!

twentythirteen Fri 22-Feb-13 16:58:04

Butterfly Fx crossed for you.

That's good news about downs School, hope your sore stomach is better.

Tea could your mid cycle cramping be ovulation or could you have ovulated already and this is implantation? Sorry in advance if they're silly suggestions.

I'm exhausted here after a 2 week stretch of too much work, a cold, migraines, AF and two big projects to submit today so rather than taking it easy or indeed any time off with the cold I did the opposite and went in super early every day. I'm now going to have a big glass of wine and spend the evening in front of the tv. Hope you all had decent Fridays!

orangebowl Fri 22-Feb-13 20:38:54

Scan was great! Baby perfect! Measured 14 weeks (2 days less than my dating scan but from previous scans and my dates that actually seems right).

I'm starting to believe this might happen. If it can happen for me then it can for us all.. Tonight I am just a bit more less nervous!!!!

Xx

teaandchocolate Fri 22-Feb-13 21:38:39

School that's amazing news! So so exciting!!

Butterfly you're right the cramping could be totally unrelated and really is so mild that yes maybe if I wasn't analysing every twinge I wouldn't even know it was there. Twenty they're not silly questions at all!! Looking at previous cycles I actually think I'm more likely to ovulate next week. I just so hope that actually happens this time. Anyway have splashed out on some expensive clear blue ovulator predictor sticks...what an exciting life I lead. Not entirely sure why as still going to dtd every other day but would b nice to see a surge.

Twenty hope you have a nice relaxing weekend. Sound like you deserve it. I feel exhausted too and really achy but not sure why. And have a very busy weekend so no time for resting!! But hopefully less time to dwell...

butterfly86 Sat 23-Feb-13 10:20:27

Fantastic news school! I hope it's put your mind at rest x

coffeeandwalnut Sat 23-Feb-13 14:25:21

Fab news school, so glad you are stating to relax slightly too x

butterfly86 Sat 23-Feb-13 16:56:22

Well ladies I now know what all the spotting was...just got a bfp! Not too sure how I feel at the minute of course I'm pleased but I'm petrified, can't help but think that the fact I spotted for 10 days isn't a good sign I'm not very hopeful it will all work out. The good thing is it's good timing at least I have an app with the consultant on tuesday so we will see if she wants to do anything or not x

LandsN Sat 23-Feb-13 17:24:13

Yeah congratulations butterfly so pleased for u I am sure it will all be fine smile

butterfly86 Sat 23-Feb-13 18:32:55

Thanks Lands I hope so x

orangebowl Sat 23-Feb-13 18:34:25

Amazing butterfly! I was wanting to say that was a possibility bit didnt want to tempt fate!

Really good you have your appointment.

I know those excited but filled with dread feelings so well. Got to be in it to win it as I think tea said to me and I still remember well!

butterfly86 Sat 23-Feb-13 18:44:11

I know I need to try and be more positive but it's hard, it's ok when I'm saying it to everyone else!
I said to dp "guess what I'm pregnant" he just said are you? Lol. Then we just sat there like normal I said to him isn't it strange most people who had just got a bfp would be over the moon and we are just sitting here. It's like groundhog day..

I'm feeling mild little twingy cramps and I'm petrified it's going to end up a chemical an af is going to come. Can somebody sedate me for a few weeks please!! X

LandsN Sat 23-Feb-13 18:51:36

I know how u feel my oh was the same and mentions it to other people but not me and his mum pointed out he is as scared as I am I have started to relax a bit now done another digital today and its gone up to 2-3 so at least hormone still rising smile as for mild cramps I have had exactly the same we need to remember our bodies have been getting ready for a couple of weeks so due to the fact so much is going on in there I feel it's a positive sign especially as I have had no other symptoms yet good luck and hope all goes well for us all xxxx

butterfly86 Sat 23-Feb-13 19:00:52

I know it's hard for the men too but I don't. think they let on whereas I say what I'm thinking. That's a good sign Lands smile I haven't used digital this time I used first response, I over analyse the 1-2/2-3 thing so I'm not going to get one.
I'm having promising symptoms my boobs are unbearable this is the worst they've been out of all my pg, I'm a bit tired but not too bad, and I've felt queasy all day that's what made me buy the test. I hope it works out for all of us we really deserve it x

LandsN Sat 23-Feb-13 19:13:01

My oh is really not good at the emotional stuff and if I try talking too much he might as well put his fingers in his ears and shout la la la till I stop, lol we all definitely deserve it 2013 is gonna b the year fingers crossed x

LandsN Sun 24-Feb-13 12:19:56

Hey butterfly has it sunk in yet smile how r u feeling today xx

teaandchocolate Sun 24-Feb-13 13:11:56

Wow Butterfly that's fab news. Must be really scary but its definitely better than not being pregnant and one step closer to having a baby. Really hope it all works out. I had twingy cramps with all my pregnancies, even the good one!!

I have nothing to report. Still no ovulation signs and got my clearblue kit and no smiley face. Going to have more acupuncture tomorrow and hope it happens this week!!

teaandchocolate Sun 24-Feb-13 14:53:22

By the way did anyone see this article in Daily Mail the other day about a lady who is pregnant after 3 mc. Thought might give some hope www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2281631/Hotel-Inspector-Alex-Polizzi-heartache-miscarriages.html

LandsN Sun 24-Feb-13 15:02:53

Wow there is hope thanks for sharing that x

butterfly86 Sun 24-Feb-13 16:28:18

Hi Ladies i think it has sunk in because I'm knicker checking every 5 minutes!! But I'm trying not to get too attatched I'm just scared. Does anybody honestly think all that spotting was just implantation? I'm worrying myself sick it's low progesterone or ectopic or it's gonna end up a chemical so pleased I can bombard my consultant with all these questions in a couple of days!
It's gonna be a long few weeks...

butterfly86 Mon 25-Feb-13 18:19:25

Hi how is everybody today?

I'm having a panic don't know how I'm going to do this sad when I wiped earlier I thought it had a "tinge" I've been checking all day and I think it's just a bit creamy (tmi). If this is how long one day feels how will I ever even get to 12 weeks never mind full term! God I'm so stressed.

LandsN Mon 25-Feb-13 18:26:44

I think it's in your mind I have been the same convincedyslf I was bleeding walking round ASDA today but was not have totally stressed myself out trying to sort consultant today as hospital said they not received the referral so gp sent it again which guess what they didn't get lucky I got through to a lovely lady who is going to sort it by phoning my gp and she is going to phone me back tomorrow once she has sorted it defo need relaxation tonight once dc's are asleep, fingers crossed tomorrow will bring some news from hospital x

orangebowl Mon 25-Feb-13 18:28:18

Don't panic butterfly (easy to say i know). If nothing there now it was really probably nothing. Do you have an appointment tomorrow or did I make that up?

Deep breaths as much as you can. X

butterfly86 Mon 25-Feb-13 18:32:37

It's hard isn't it! It's because you constantly feel wet, I go to the loo then it calms me down for ten minutes then I start worrying again. Just as well you phoned up today if they hadn't recieved it hope you get it sorted out tomorrow smile. How many weeks are you? Are you going to get an early scan? I'm at hospital tomorrow which I hope might settle me down a bit as consultant puts me at ease not that she can change the outcome mind! Xx

butterfly86 Mon 25-Feb-13 18:36:36

Sorry school cross posts! Yes I have app tomorrow. You have done unbelievably well getting so far under this amount of stress I think this is the worst one of them all x

LandsN Mon 25-Feb-13 19:04:07

I don't know if they will scan or not I am 5 + 4 I really hope they do though I need to see for myself that its all ok I am seeing midwife again tomorrow had a stitch like pain on the right of my belly button today think I might mention it tomorrow to b safe, I have convinced myself almost everyday that something is wrong and so far got past everyday just hope that does not change x good luck tomorrow hope it all goes well xx

butterfly86 Mon 25-Feb-13 19:14:44

I hope they do scan you with my 2nd pg I begged mw for a scan and she said no I did start spotting in the end but I rang epu myself and got a scan so you could always ring them. I have had the stitch pain with every pg and if I sneeze or cough it's really sharp so it's probably ligaments but worth a mention xx

LandsN Mon 25-Feb-13 19:18:18

Ok cool was not too worried as its too high to be ovary and not period like pain I phoned epu today but had to be referred by gp which they didn't have I am going to beg for one though definitely want one x

GuppieK Mon 25-Feb-13 19:35:44

Wow, so much going on here since I last looked! Butterfly, congrats on BFP. It's great that you've got there, but I can totally understand your nerves. I hope they can offer you a scan soon to help with your fears.

School, really pleased things are still going well for you too. I do love reading your updates and your 'If it can happen for me then it can for us all.. ' post made me smile :-)

Tea, I think we are in a similar boat at the moment. I wasn't successful last month and on day 9 of cycle now. I've started testing using Persona this month - used to use the monitor as contraceptive, oh how long ago it seemed I didn't want to be pregnant!! - as last month my ovulation sticks seemed a bit random. I'm already getting paranoid using it though as I remember the lines on the sticks used to be quite clear and they seem very faint now. Like you, it doesn't feel like it matters as we're going to just try to dtd every other day too, but I'd like to understand what my cycles are up to and seeing the ovulation symbol appear would put my mind at rest I am actually ovulating...

We moved into a new house we've bought the weekend just gone from a rented flat. It feels like a palace compared to our little flat but I guess the discussions about what to do with the second bedroom - have it as an office, put a bed in it for guests, leave it 'just in case' - have made me a bit mopey. Plus, another pregnancy announcement from a friend at the weekend and baby born today - pictures on Facebook and the congrats messages. Oh, and other half's mum was down at weekend too and came to Ikea with us, then proceeded to look at baby stuff for her daughter who got pregnant with first just after my third miscarriage. It's all so hurtful, but difficult to know what people are meant to do really. Life goes on. I guess you just have to take the hurt on the chin and find a way of finding peace with the jealousy.

teaandchocolate Mon 25-Feb-13 19:48:22

Hi everyone.

Butterfly I completely sympathise. Being pregnant is just awful now and so stressful! I don't really have any words of wisdom as I am a totally stress head and have no idea how I'm going to get through all this but we are here with you!! Can you have a massage or reflexology or something? I'm sure seeing the consultant will help put your mind at ease. And monitored pregnancies are supposed to be more successful - the 'tender loving care' theory. Oh and fwiw my friend spotted loads in her pregnancy and had her baby a few weeks ago. Not a huge amount if comfort as we were pregnant at the same time and my pregnancy obviously didn't end well but they're not all the same.

Hi Guppie! I was wondering where you'd been!! It is depressing isn't it. I'm going loopy already and no sniff of a bfp. No sign of ovulation for me and already day 21. Getting very frustrated as think my pcos is playing up, maybe because I'm stressed but how do I not stress?!?! Having acupuncture every week and really hoping it does something! Have got a stash of opks now but worried they'll make me more depressed/stressed? Might try using them in earnest tomorrow morning as I'm sure a smiley face would perk me up!! Also trying to reduce caffeine & sugar and cut out alcohol so all in all having a brilliant time...!!

teaandchocolate Mon 25-Feb-13 19:51:54

Oh and Lands I hope you get to see someone soon. Sounds very frustrating. You could try ringing the EPU and saying you've had pain (maybe say in one side?) to try and wangle a scan. Although I thought they were supposed to offer them if you've had recurrent miscarriages?? I don't think they can see much until about 7 weeks but would be good to get in the system. I know how slowly those weeks go....but fingers crossed for you.

LandsN Mon 25-Feb-13 20:16:05

I just feel like nobody cares (hormones I think lol) I did think about doing that I just want to tempt fate really just want to get the ball rolling and know that it's all ok feel like time is going so slowly

butterfly86 Mon 25-Feb-13 20:51:54

Hi Guppie I think they will scan me weekly but not sure if I'll get on tomorrow with it being so early I'll be 5 weeks on wed but she did say last time I saw her she could scan me about a week after a missed period but it could be inconclusive so I'll see what she says.

Tea it's very stressful I don't know how I'll. get through it, I was at a spa yesterday and was meant to have reflexology and a massage but I wasn't allowed with being pregnant so I had to change I was relaxed when I came home but it's soon worn off! Mind you was a bit difficult trying to avoid the saunas etc when mum doesn't know yet! I think I'm extra scared with all the spotting I had unless that's a good sign and the little bean was digging itself right in! X

teaandchocolate Mon 25-Feb-13 21:57:32

Lands I so feel like noone cares! I think health care professionals just see mc so often they think its normal (which it is) and that we'll probably be ok next time. Just hope they're right! Obviously to us its a huuuuge deal and all we ever think about.

Butterfly that's so annoying you missed out on a massage and reflexology! You can definitely have them both when pregnant (I have) but I guess you need to find specialised practitioners. Although I agree that I can feel so chilled and happy one minute and the next I just want to cry and scream 'where's my ewcm!!' <nutter> blush

butterfly86 Mon 25-Feb-13 22:58:53

I know I was desperate for that massage too!
Haha you are hunting for your ewcm and my cm has me running to the loo all the time so I'm a nutter too! Have you still not. ovulated yet? X

teaandchocolate Tue 26-Feb-13 09:35:14

I don't think I have. Done a few more opks but don like them - reminds me of doing hpts and feel really sad at no smiley face. Also had no ewcm (afaik) and that's usually my sign. Can you ovulate without it? Still really crampy though and no idea why. Not sure if I should ring the consultant about it or whether he'd just say give it more time and try to relax. Couldn't sleep last night for worrying about it which is a bad sign. What will I be like if I actually get a bfp?! Almost forget that my worry was mc now I can't even get pregnant....

butterfly86 Tue 26-Feb-13 09:48:04

I think it's possible to have ovulated without it I think we expect our bodies to do what we want them to and they don't always, not sure about the cramping unless it's implanting what cd are you on? It can't hurt giving the consultant a ring it's better than stressing about it it might make you feel better if you speak to him. It's just one big stress cycle isn't it!
This will make you laugh I'm that much of a nutter I'm taking my pregnancy test in my handbag today just so I can prove that it was positive after the carry on I had last time not that my consultant won't believe me but just incase! And I'm taking. my lesley regan book to prove it says your blood should be tested with no cuff, best take a big handbag I might think of a few more things to take in the next hour.....

teaandchocolate Tue 26-Feb-13 10:42:27

Ha bet they'll love you at the hospital when you turn up with all your paraphernalia!! I think you're right though, better to have it all to hand and make the most of the appointment. I should have taken the book about the cuff as I always forget in the moment. But the person who did mine was in a separate department and it was all really open so not sure if id have dared say anything. Let me know what they say about the cuff thing. Good luck with it. Report back!!

I might ring him next week if still no improvement. Although last time I rang him because AF didn't turn up (on day 60 something) it turned out I was pregnant!! Although I had had ewcm that time....can't believe I even remember cm from 6 months ago!!

Today is cd 22

LandsN Tue 26-Feb-13 11:05:32

Morning ladies we have progress I have a scan for next Friday x

butterfly86 Tue 26-Feb-13 13:59:50

Just reporting back! It was the bloody registrar I saw not my consultant but she was lovely she said I need to try and look at the positive that my results are clear and try not to look for something I'm young fit and healthy and have got a very good chance it will all be ok. She said to ask my consultant about asprin but she doesn't think she will give me it I see her on friday for a scan so I'll ask then.

Tea there's still a chance you could ovulate soon with your long cycles hopefully you do!

Lands that's great you have managed to get a scan! X

teaandchocolate Wed 27-Feb-13 18:57:41

Butterfly glad the appointment was reassuring even though you didn't see the consultant. I hope that registrars right then there might be hope for us all!! I do think it was just luck that DD was my 2nd rather than my 4th (or 5th or 6th!) pregnancy as I didn't do anything differently really. Seems it is a bit of a lottery for lots of us.

Breaking news here - I got a smiley face on my opk!! Is strange as I have no ewcm and still have the general crampy/heavy feeling that I've had for about 5 days now. Tried to do another but the test didn't work so will do one later or tomorrow although I guess either way we are going to have to dtd more - getting fatigued!!!!

How's everyone else doing??

LandsN Wed 27-Feb-13 19:23:37

Thanks butterfly it's just to check my dates then they will pass me over to the consultant hope I make it till then as I will b 7 weeks by then and it's my worst time ms has kicked in big time my dd was brushing her teeth this morning and the smell of the mouthwash made me gag!!
Butterfly glad u got positive feedback lets hope this is the time for us all and tea fingers crossed for u and brilliant for the smiley face xx

teaandchocolate Wed 27-Feb-13 19:44:54

Fx for you Lands. They should be able to see a hb by 7 weeks and ms can only be a good sign surely? Although I know it makes it so much harder to stop thinking about it and carry on as normal!

butterfly86 Wed 27-Feb-13 20:38:40

Tea I'm pleased you got a smiley! Now you can stop stressing about that bit and start on the next bit! I get what you mean about getting fatigued it becomes a chore doesn't it. Fingers crossed it's your month x

Lands hopefully the ms is a good sign smile I'm a bit queasy but not all day and I'm getting lot's of twingy sort of nipping pains near my pubic bone are you having anything like that? I hope it's normal x

orangebowl Wed 27-Feb-13 20:51:21

Hi everyone!

Sorry if I dint answer everyone- on phone so can't scroll back!

Guppie- Ah hope you're settling into new house ok.. Apparently it's one of he most stressful things you can do moving house.

Butterfly- those pains you describe I definitely had too- sure its those stretching Pains.

Lands - hang in there- it's so hard at those early stages. I found taking pregnacare in the morning made me more sick so started taking it at night instead (no idea if you are doing that but thought with mentioning)

And tea- hooray for a smiley face ;)
Come on get on with it.. Needs must and all that wink

In other news I forgot to say that we found out the sex of he baby at the last scan we had- and it's another boy! DS is super excited smile I have been ok up until today but feeling a bit scared again today. Just want to be able to feel movement now...

butterfly86 Wed 27-Feb-13 21:17:49

Hi school how exciting that you know what you're having it must make it even more real smile It won't be too long until your next scan but I know it feels like forever when it's you that's waiting.

I was hoping the little niggles would be stretching it's not crampy but I can't help over analyzing every little thing! X

coffeeandwalnut Wed 27-Feb-13 21:25:50

Hi everyone congratulations on your BFP butterfly!

Well I had my appointment with the Dr today they were actually very good and asked me where I wanted to be referred to and had no problems with me choosing Liverpool Women's, even though its not my local hospital. So just waiting now for the appointment date. Not much else to report hormones seem to have settled back down so I guess just on AF watch for the next however long hmm

butterfly86 Thu 28-Feb-13 10:07:54

Hi coffee that's great that you are being referred to the hospital you prefer hopefully you get an appointment soon! smile

butterfly86 Thu 28-Feb-13 12:07:48

Well I've just started bleeding bright red so guess it's over sad

orangebowl Thu 28-Feb-13 12:12:41

Oh god butterfly. Can you get to the epu?

butterfly86 Thu 28-Feb-13 12:23:41

I've just spoke to consultants seceratary she said she is at her private clinic today so can't speak to her. Just said to keep my app for tomorrow because even if I go. to gp chances are I won't get an app at epu before 8.30 tomorrow which is when my app is. I'm sick why does this keep happening

orangebowl Thu 28-Feb-13 12:27:01

I'm so so sorry. Are you able to be at home? You're not at work are you?

butterfly86 Thu 28-Feb-13 12:37:36

Yes I'm at work and I can't go home boss doesn't know and it's complicated I'm here until 7 sad I've got all the right signs sore boobs feeling queasy and tired I just want to know why this keeps happening. I dreamt last night this happened, dreamt I went to the toilet at work and the little baby fell out I thought it was just because I'm worried but obviously not x

twentythirteen Thu 28-Feb-13 17:09:52

Sorry I haven't been on, been lurking but not posting as have been feeling sorry for myself a bit and I didn't want to bore everyone. Just wanted to come on to say I'm thinking of you Butterfly and have fingers crossed that your appt goes against your worst fears tomorrow. I had a prescient mc dream once. I hope yours was just anxiety. I also hope, practically speaking, that you have what you need re the bleeding? Here brew.

twentythirteen Thu 28-Feb-13 17:17:21

Ps Butterfly you don't have to tell your boss in order to be able to leave, just say your ill.

teaandchocolate Thu 28-Feb-13 19:02:03

Oh no Butterfly I've just seen your posts as I've had no service all day. I'm so so sorry. Definitely take as much time off work as you need. Just say you are ill and try to rest as much as you can. There's nothing any of us can say to make this any better. It's just so rubbish & I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and always here to hold your hand.

teaandchocolate Thu 28-Feb-13 19:04:16

Twenty I also just wanted to say to you please don't think you will bore us by posting when you feel rubbish. I feel rubbish quite a lot of the time and bore everyone here with the details of my cycle etc. it definitely helps to offload and we all know how you feel.

butterfly86 Thu 28-Feb-13 20:50:26

Thanks everyone you are all so lovely your kind words have brought on a good cry I really needed it. The bleeding keeps tapering off then coming back a bit it's very light brown at the minute. At no point today has it actually "came out" I'm having to wipe to get it, I've got no cramps yet either. I'm under no illusions what's happening though I'm not in denial. This is just so shit why can't we just have a little bit of happiness that we so badly want sad The last week has been stressful I've worried about every little twinge then this goes and happens again I want some answers now x

teaandchocolate Thu 28-Feb-13 21:05:57

I'm not going to say it could still be fine and tell you stories of people I know who bled throughout pregnancy as its just annoying. But there is still a chance it's ok. How many weeks should u be? It's good you have your scan tomorrow as you will hopefully get clarity one way or the other. If its over then let's discuss next steps - obviously you will also talk to your consultant but there might be more you can do. However for now you just need to get through tomorrow. It's just so f***ing unfair when we all want it so much and really is a baby too much to ask for?! Feel very hacked off for you. Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight.

butterfly86 Thu 28-Feb-13 21:30:14

Thanks tea I know there's still that little chance but when you've been through what all of us on here have you can't think positively can you I would like to think it's all ok I've prayed all day and I'm not religious! Going by lmp I should be 5+2 I think at this stage the scan was likely to be inconclusive anyway so not sure there'll be anything at all to see sad I've got a spare pg test I'm tempted to do it in the morning but am I just torturing myself? I really need to sleep tonight hope I do x

twentythirteen Thu 28-Feb-13 21:39:14

Sending you hugs butterfly. I how the night passes quickly.

twentythirteen Thu 28-Feb-13 21:39:42

And thanks Tea.

butterfly86 Thu 28-Feb-13 21:47:08

Thank you twenty I hope you are ok have a rant if you feel you need to x

twentythirteen Thu 28-Feb-13 21:59:29

That's kind of you butterfly. There aren't words to express how disappointed I am at my childless state at the moment. When I find them, or this passes, I might have more to say about myself!

butterfly86 Thu 28-Feb-13 22:03:57

Sorry you are feeling like that, here to chat when you feel ready. Just to make you feel better I feel like topping myself (I'm not going to but it's crap isn't it) x

twentythirteen Thu 28-Feb-13 22:10:32

Aw, more hugs. I know the feeling. How many times has this happened to you butterfly?

LandsN Thu 28-Feb-13 22:17:56

Butterfly I am so sorry you are going through this just wish there was something we could do to stop this happening to us all thinking of you and sending you big hugs, u need to rest Hun and stay off work for as long as possible sad I was only thinking today I am 6 weeks tomorrow and that is when it all starts to go wrong I have my scan next Friday and am scared stiff I won't make it to then life is so bloody unfair xxx

butterfly86 Thu 28-Feb-13 22:19:23

If this is definately happening again which I'm sure it is, this is the 4th time in 11 months sad

twentythirteen Thu 28-Feb-13 22:24:54

Hope this isn't the 4th, that's a hell of a lot to go through In such a short space of time. And LandsN, I think we are all incredibly brave, facing a known fear and forging ahead. You both have my deepest respect.

teaandchocolate Thu 28-Feb-13 22:35:29

I feel so bad that you're both feeling so terrible at the moment Butterfly and Twenty. I know you probably think I really shouldn't moan as I'm so lucky to have DD but all I can say is it appears to have been total luck of the draw that she was pregnancy number 2 (I know I've said that loads before!). Also I guess we can take some hope from the fact that all the previous posters on this board appear to have left & gone off and had babies...

I know its absolutely not consolation at the moment but it does seem that if you keep going the vast majority of recurrent miscarriers get a baby. Added to that there are so many tests to have, doctors to see and things to try we can't give up hope yet. I've had a bit of a wobbly morning as another close friend had a baby & I'm terrified at how I'd cope with another mc so I often don't take my own advice but deep down I think its possible it'll work again.....fx

Butterfly if this does go wrong have you considered going down the nk cells route? Think that's what I'd try next.

Anyway huge hugs to you all

LandsN Thu 28-Feb-13 22:37:51

I totally agree it is so hard but we all keep trying, butterfly I did not realise it was such a short period of time I had 2 6 years ago gave up trying changed life chilled out etc and decided to try again and had last 1 in dec I just thank god for this thread that help so much and really feel the support from people who really understand not just sympathise xx

butterfly86 Thu 28-Feb-13 23:01:42

Lands fingers are firmy crossed for you! Just take it easy hopefully it's going to go ok for you x

It isn't until I sit back and actually think about it properly that I realise how much I. actually have been through in a short space of time. Never mind the physical side of things it's the toll it takes on you emotionally, I'm so fortunate to have my dp it would have torn many relationships apart.

Tea never think we would think that about you, yes it's fantastic you have your dd but that doesn't mean you aren't entitled to feel the same as the rest of us about your mc's!

Yes I think nk cells will be the next step, I'm sure if we kept trying it would eventually go right but I need to rule everything out I don't want to keep losing babies unecessarily. I think we will have a break from ttc even though this was just a see what happens baby, I need to get my head straight it's too much x

coffeeandwalnut Fri 01-Mar-13 12:28:03

Hey Butterfly sending hugs and keeping fx for your appointment. Its just so shitty and nothjng anyone can say can change it. xx

Twenty its a comfort (for me anyway) to know I can rant and ramble on here and not one thinks any less or judges me! Even if I'm haut lurking on the thread and not posting it makes a difference to know there are other people out there - if that makes sense.

butterfly86 Fri 01-Mar-13 14:35:44

Hi coffee thank you but unfortunately it was what we expected there was only a small area of fluid left and the womb lining was thin sad They did internal scan which was awful because I'm bleeding quite heavily.I asked loads of questions about tests etc but she isn't going to do anything. I said I knew a lot of the tests were only available privately and that was fine but she said really a lot of the tests are just research including nk cells? She suspects it is down to the fact that we are super fertile and my womb is just allowing poor embryos to implant. She is happy for me to keep being treat at. my local hospital for now because I'm young she isn't concerned, she did say it would be a good idea to take a break which is what we will do maybe 3 or 6 months depending how we feel she said I'm not a machine and it's too much for anybody to cope with. I have to have my thyroid re tested incase it's slightly underactive but I go back in 6 weeks so will prob do it then.
It's crap and I want today to just be over with I need a rest from it all....

LandsN Fri 01-Mar-13 17:32:33

Butterfly I am so sorry xx

twentythirteen Fri 01-Mar-13 18:25:01

Here brew Butterfly, I'm sorry to hear this.

twentythirteen Fri 01-Mar-13 18:31:51

Thanks Coffee, perhaps I should rant but being angry has eaten a lot into my spare time, it exhausts me and I've been going to bed ridiculously early every night. I'm due to ovulate soon so am hoping that will shift things moodwise!

coffeeandwalnut Fri 01-Mar-13 18:39:39

I'm so sorry Butterfly, sending hugs x

teaandchocolate Fri 01-Mar-13 19:04:27

Sending you big hugs Butterfly.

You've been through so much you're right. Having a break might do you good - it definitely helped me. Although I do now feel in a bit of a panicked rush! Maybe just focus for a bit on looking after yourself. Shopping, massages, reflexology, nice food, weekends away etc. especially really unbaby friendly. It maybe a bit extreme but we went to Vegas after my 1st mc which was amazing as definitely wouldn't take a baby there!!!

Did your consultant mention progesterone at all? Just wondered whether she could prescribe for next time just in case especially if your lining looked thin? Xx

teaandchocolate Fri 01-Mar-13 19:05:07

Meant to say unbaby friendly places...if that's even an expression!

butterfly86 Fri 01-Mar-13 22:27:25

Thanks all of you x

Tea I definately think a break from ttc will do us good, in a way it feels wrong because it's all we want but I do need to have a period where babies, ttc, ovulation, miscarriage doesn't consume my thoughts every waking minute.
I asked cons about wether my hormones weren't high enough her reply was "your body is absolutely doing what it should be" but low progesterone has been my worry with the spotting and overly tender breasts. I have wondered the last 2 times how my hormones can be high enough to give a positive test then a week later be so low they can't be detected I thought it took a while for them to drop. Strange thing is my boobs are still mega sore can't even have a real tight hug off dp it hurts too much sad

twentythirteen Sat 02-Mar-13 19:17:19

Just wondering how you're doing Butterfly?

butterfly86 Sat 02-Mar-13 20:27:45

Hi twenty I feel dreadful today I'm bleeding heavily started passing clots in the shower this morning then it's just started again I feel like I'm going to pass out everytime I stand up. This is the earliest mc but by far the worst. How are you today?

teaandchocolate Sat 02-Mar-13 20:43:42

Oh no Butterfly sorry to hear its so bad. Have you got someone to look after you? Just rest as much as you can, take painkillers, hot water bottle and drink fluids. You will get through this and come out the other side. Are you worried about the amount of bleeding?

butterfly86 Sat 02-Mar-13 21:01:42

At the minute I'm not worried enough to go and get checked it's worse when I sit on the toilet and gets worse after I pass a clot. The last one was sort of clear but mixed with blood but a solid shape would that be the sac? The pain isn't too bad it's. mainly up in my cervix where I'm feeling it sitting down is uncomfortable but I've taken painkillers so it should ease. This is why erpc makes it easier takes all of this away. Never mind I'm not going to die so I'll just have to ride it out, thank you so much to you all for allowing me to say this it's good to have people that understand and can advise me dp is great but he panics about me bless him x

LandsN Sat 02-Mar-13 21:37:03

Oh butterfly I hope u feel better soon xx

teaandchocolate Sat 02-Mar-13 22:17:34

Hang on in there Butterfly it will be over soon you poor things. It's just so shit. That could be the sack I'm not sure. My only natural mc was just like a period really. Big hugs. Thinking about you tonight. Hope you get some sleep.

teaandchocolate Sat 02-Mar-13 22:17:56

Poor thing! Argh can't type!

butterfly86 Sat 02-Mar-13 22:28:30

My last mc was just like a period I thought I knew what to expect but it's totally different. I'm going to bed soon I'm exhausted hope I feel better in the morning x

Thank you Lands hope you aren't feeling too stressed x

teaandchocolate Sun 03-Mar-13 10:48:07

How are u

teaandchocolate Sun 03-Mar-13 10:48:48

Sorry! Meant to say how are you today Butterfly? Hope you had an ok night and the bleedings calmed down a bit.

butterfly86 Sun 03-Mar-13 14:35:54

Hi tea the bleeding has eased a bit now and then it gets a bit heavier but it's better than last night and I feel better just very tired I'm still in my pyjamas. Still a bit crampy though. I'm being a right moody bitch today though I know I'm doing it but can't help it poor dp x

LandsN Sun 03-Mar-13 18:48:18

Hi ladies a bit of advice please I was cooking dinner and spilt some boiling water on my leg jumped back and twisted awkwardly I started bleeding almost instantly which has got quite a bit heavier but no pain at all going to go hospital in morning as if I go now they will only keep me in till morning I know it is bad but not had any clots or anything just bright red blood do u think it just a coincidence it was the same time or could twisting have caused me to mc I am finding it hard not to blame myself ATM as I know it has now come to a end x

butterfly86 Sun 03-Mar-13 19:31:12

Oh Lands so sorry this is happening, please don't blame yourself it is by no means your fault. People have car accidents and all kinds and it doesn't cause mc, it's probably coincidence you jumped at the same time. I know you always know yourself what is happening but try to have a little bit of hope you just never know. Could you not pop along to the hospital just see what they say I know sometimes it's a waste of time but they might give you a blood test to give you some indication of what's going on.
I don't know what else to say to you I really hope it isn't happening. Big hugs always here for you xx

LandsN Sun 03-Mar-13 19:43:46

Thanks butterfly I know from experience they have to transfer me to gyne ward which is at another hospital 25 mins away so will ride it out till morning, someone said it could be a dis lodged plug but not sure just no pain or clots is confusing and all my mc's have started with brown blood this started bright red. I can't help just thinking the worst x

teaandchocolate Sun 03-Mar-13 19:44:37

Hi Lands. I'm so sorry you're bleeding that's such horrid news. Please don't blame yourself - twisting and dropping hot water definitely wouldn't cause you to bleed, it probably just caused it to come out of you. Women goes through all types of physical trauma and remain pregnant & your body is designed to protect a pregnancy at all costs. However I'm just so sorry this is happening. As Butterfly said there is always hope but I won't patronise you as we all think the same at the sight of blood. Hope you're ok.

Butterfly glad the bleedings eased off a bit. Don't worry about being moody that is totally understandable! I'm being horrible at the moment as everyone I know seems to be having their babies and I would have been due around now and I just feel so annoyed its not me. Or I should have a 4 month old...just can't seem to shift the angry feeling that things have not worked out how I wanted them too!! I'm sure your DH is also feeling crap although its never the same for them. But you are allowed to be a cow definitely!

butterfly86 Sun 03-Mar-13 20:00:44

There is every possibilty it's nothing and I so hope it is but I have to be totally honest with you this mc started out of the. blue bright red immediately no spotting beforehand and the pain and clots didn't start until yesterday even though I started to bleed thursday. Praying that it's nothing like me and you will be ok. Lie down with your feet up I know they say it makes no difference but it makes you feel like you are doing something, I slept with 2 pillows under my feet on thursday night. Xxx

Tea I'm glad I'm not just being a cow! My mood has lifted slighty since this afternoon which I'm sure dp will be pleased about I feel awful now I'm actually writing it down, he is absolutely heartbroken and I've been awful to him when he's done nothing wrong. I'm going to give him a big cuddle when he comes back in from the kitchen.

orangebowl Sun 03-Mar-13 21:10:31

Just wanted to reiterate Lands- no way would that cause a miscarriage. Which I know doesn't help you deal with bleeding sad try and rest and get to hospital in the morning. How many weeks are you now?

Butterfly- been thinking about you a lot. X

I'm still bit nervous as been nearly 2 weeks since my last scan and got a week to wait until next one. 15+4 today. Got midwife on Tuesday and wondering if she will agree to try and hear heartbeat but think she will say too early

LandsN Mon 04-Mar-13 07:10:32

Thanks everyone still bleeding quite heavy I know in myself that this is it I am going to the hospital this morning so will see what they say x. And school I am 6+3 x

teaandchocolate Mon 04-Mar-13 07:57:56

Oh Lands hope you're ok. It's so unfair. Will be thinking of you.

School I know its really hard but just try to stay calm and remember that you've done all you can & are in the capable hands of the hospital. You got through the riskiest stage with flying colours. Although I totally understand you won't relax until the baby is here.

teaandchocolate Mon 04-Mar-13 07:58:50

Ps Butterfly how do you feel this morning?

LandsN Mon 04-Mar-13 10:04:22

I am having a battle to get seen keep getting told to wait till tomorrow see what happens just waiting for gp to call as I need a referral to see anyone bleeding has almost stopped, they said could b implantation bleed like I don't know it's not it was heavy last night but still no clot or pain so will see what gp says if not its 9.30 tomorrow morning x

butterfly86 Mon 04-Mar-13 11:32:55

Lands I would put my foot down can you not ring epu and explain you have mc before and are very anxious and you can't wait until tomorrow? Only other option is a&e. It's promising that it's slowing down though fingers crossed for you x

School- you are bound to feel nervous we. all would but like tea said you are past the worst bit. Somebody I know is a midwife she told me a while ago that the guidelines have been changed and they aren't meant to listen to the hb until your 24 week app (think that's the next one after 16) but she said if you ask most midwives would do it so she might try for you, hope she does and it puts your mind at rest.

Tea- I'm feeling better today bleeding has. really tailed off it's brown now, I had to pop out this morning and I've got a bit of pain now so going to take it easy for the rest of the day. Anyway how about you, you are in the 2ww now! smile

LandsN Mon 04-Mar-13 11:38:15

I have rung them and they said no point going today even though I explained the situation and history and she just said come in tomorrow have spoke to gp as well and he don't seem to have any urgency prob cos if I loose anything in the mean time it saves them a job so angry but going to keep phoning if all else fails will go to a and e x

teaandchocolate Mon 04-Mar-13 12:18:46

Lands I'm so sorry you're getting fobbed off. The only thing I would say in their defence is that a scan isn't going to change anything and may not even give much clarity at this stage. In my experience the only benefit of being in a hospital is that they could do an erpc and check the tissue for chromosomal abnormalities. However on the nhs there is usually a wait anyway for the ops (& even privately I waited 5 days). Plus not sure they do the checks on the nhs unless you're under the recurrent mc clinic. The other benefits of a scan is to check everything has gone and there's nothing remaining. I had a scan a couple of days after my last mc started naturally (it had been booked in for a while) & it really didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. It was probably good for DH as he still held out hope. However if you're bleeding really heavily or in loads of pain then definitely go to a&e otherwise you might find it more pleasant being at home than sat waiting in a hospital with loads of pregnant people. That's just my view anyway and I really hope you don't take offence. I think everyone's needs are different and every mc is different. I just don't want you to stress about this on top of everything else.

Butterfly you sound like you're doing as well as can be expected. It's just the emotional side which is a bastard!!

I think I'm on the 2ww although I'm really dubious about whether I actually ovulated. Mainly because there was no ewcm. However the previous cycle I had ewcm twice and no ovulation! So I guess I just cannot trust my body at all. We are still dtd every other day so will be glad when I am either pregnant or AF arrives!! wink

LandsN Mon 04-Mar-13 13:33:53

hi tea thank you I had thought of that and I have not been bleeding a lot today and it is only there when I wipe now but I know its not good think I just panicked this morning and didn't really think about the fact that if its gonna happen there is nothing I or anyone else can do about it so will just wait till the morning at 9.30. Trying not to stress too much and just take it easy till the morning.
I have not had pain or lost any clots as of yet so will see what happens between now and the morning. just gonna try and get some sleep and I would say keep my fingers crossed but I know in myself its not good thanks for your help and support everyone xx

butterfly86 Mon 04-Mar-13 15:21:02

I hope today passes quickly for you Lands like tea said it's different for everyone, I get myself really wound up and need a scan like asap I think it's because I would rather know if it was all going wrong but at least it's only tomorrow x

Tea you must be worn out haha! You got a smiley though didn't you? At least you can say you gave it a good go my poor dp thinks christmas has came the first part of the month then wonders what happened the rest of the month! ;)

twentythirteen Mon 04-Mar-13 15:47:42

Apologies for sudden absence, internet problems.

LandsN how scary, no wonder you panicked, I would. And I agree with what the others have said, that move can't have caused a mc. Remember the days when "ladies" were "confined"? If that really helped we would still be doing it. How hard (and frustrating as hellangry) to have to wait to tomorrow. I hope you're getting some rest.

Butterfly, just catching up on your news. Hope the pain isn't too bad. And you're not a cow, you're suffering, and your poor DH, hope you have had some time for a bit more cuddling.

Tea fx for the 2ww! Where are you in it?

I think I might join you, just. Got the positive opk today. I have the day off and have made a very healthy lunch and went for a gentle walk in the sunny, spring-like countryside and am now propped up and noticing the old hopeful thoughts creeping back in. I hate these mood swings but am glad for the relief of feeling shit and trying not to cry constantly. I miscarried on mothers day last year and somehow I managed to not realise that my mc didn't cancel all future mothers days and I was shocked, literally went all hot and was stunned for a moment, a couple of weeks ago when I heard that mothers day was coming up. Also, we had our consultant appt a couple of weeks ago following the post-mc tests and he said that we're healthy regarding everything they tested for. Then he asked me my age again and then told me that we are only hoping for one baby. It both angered and sadend me even though we're also thinking realistically and are only hoping for one anyway (Ok, so I'm secretly hoping for twins but still I did not like him saying it!).

Hope scan goes well tomorrow School! I didn't know that rule about mw's and heartbeats. I suppose it would be possibly quite worrying if they couldn't find it but it was there all along.

butterfly86 Mon 04-Mar-13 17:01:15

Hi twenty glad you are joining back in you must be feeling better than you did last week smile A mc is always difficult but it's especially hard when it happens on a recognised date I wonder if christmas will ever be the same for me sad saying that I will never forget "dates" now, I know all my due dates the dates of erpc's or even when I found out I was pg. I think mother's day is a bitch anyway it should be banned til we all get our babies!

Great news that your tests are normal though I know it sometimes doesn't feel like good news as it doesn't give you any answers. I think that was a bit harsh of the consultant even if he thought you should only hope for one he didn't have to say it! Hoping you get your bfp soon smile

LandsN Mon 04-Mar-13 19:06:10

The bleeding has stopped just a bit orangey when I wipe sorry for tmi still not holding out any hope though gp phoned and said I will have to stay under consultant even if I do mc this one to prepare for next time which made me really angry as I asked for that last time and got fobbed off got scan at 9.30 tomorrow so just going to do nothing till then, midwife said the same as u all it was just a total coincidence that the 2 things happened at same time or possibly bleed coming from somewhere else where I twisted fast and awkwardly but I am not sure where else it could come from anyway will report back as soon as I know anymore thank you all so much for your support hope u are all well xx

LandsN Mon 04-Mar-13 19:09:51

Oh and butterfly I know what u mean about Christmas my mc was 19/12 the day before my birthday and I was booked in for surgery Christmas Eve my first mc was the day before my nephews birthday always hard at those times x

teaandchocolate Mon 04-Mar-13 20:58:52

Hi Twenty! Nice to 'see' you again. Glad you're feeling a teensy bit positive. I think its the only way to be otherwise we'd just waste all our time crying. I have been feeling quite sad on & off especially as next week was my last due date and 3 close friends have all just had their babies. However I'm trying so hard to stay busy and positive as I don't want to look back and think I just wasted however many years of my life crying. Also feel guilty for DD.

I can't believe the doctor said that to you. What a great bedside manner!! I also got the all clear from my tests so far and while that's great it's also annoying having nothing to treat. Not sure if you feel the same? But yey for the smiley face - I'm new to all this opk stuff so got v excited about my smiley face!!

Butterfly I did get a smiley! But still don't trust anything as have read you can get the surge without ovulating especially if you have pcos like I do. I got two smileys & the last one was last Thursday so does that mean I ovulated on Thursday? So will probably test next Thursday. Keep forgetting that my real worries start when I manage to get pregnant!! But can't wait to stop shagging!!!!

butterfly86 Mon 04-Mar-13 23:22:54

Tea I don't have much experience with opk's I tried them once when we first started ttc. I think you maybe did ov on thursday I'm sure the lh goes quite quickly once the egg has actually been released. You've kept shagging for longer than I would well done you lol! Nothing more you can do now so fingers crossed smile

LandsN Tue 05-Mar-13 07:52:45

So nervous I just know what they r going to say at scan this morn I could probably tell them what to say by now sad just want it over now hope your all well this morning xx

butterfly86 Tue 05-Mar-13 08:16:23

Holding your hand Lands xxxx

teaandchocolate Tue 05-Mar-13 10:09:50

Hope you're ok Lands. Will be thinking of you. Hate scan nerves.

LandsN Tue 05-Mar-13 12:01:26

Thank you ladies good news we still have a baby with a strong heart beat the bleeding came from outside the sack where there is a implantation bleed to the side I can relax a bit for now have got to speak to my gp about asprin and have another scan in 2 weeks smile x

butterfly86 Tue 05-Mar-13 12:30:36

Oh Lands that's great news so pleased for you the little tinker must have been bedding right in! Have they recommended you start asprin now? I keep asking about taking it as a precaution but they are very reluctant xx

orangebowl Tue 05-Mar-13 12:58:42

Lands that's brilliant news!!! How strange that none of us said "there is still hope, it will be ok etc etc" like there would have been on other threads I am sure- pessimistic bunch we are! And it's all fine! That's made my day &#58389;

Twenty and Tea- thinking about you in the 2WW- who on earth made it 2 weeks!? such a long time!

Butterfly hope you are managing to rest up now. re. the aspirin- it should only be taken from after BFP as otherwise they think it can hinder implantation.. i'm sure i have read that there are no negative effects to it. Worth another discussion with your consultant though. Are you happy with the consultant? seems strange she is reluctant to do tests? While you are having a break from ttc it would be a good time to get all thetests done? have you asked about being transferred to a recurrent miscarriage clinic? (sorry for all the questions!)

I had midwife appointment today- standard 16 week check where they are supposed to do just urine and blood pressure but I asked if she would listen for heartbeat and she said she would given my history.. And it was fine! Chugging away like a train!

LandsN Tue 05-Mar-13 13:14:45

Thank you I have to phone my gp for advice on asprin but they said they think I should I am now under constant supervision from the consultant so fingers crossed it make a difference, I told the nurse I knew I had list it when I went in so when they showed me the h/b I was in shock we have called it the tic tac as she said that's how big it is dates are a few days out but she was not worried xx

teaandchocolate Tue 05-Mar-13 13:43:35

Wow Lands that's amazing!! Hooray! You're now one of these mythical people who bleeds but doesn't have a mc!! Must be such a relief and such an emotional rollercoaster!!

School you're so right! We are such doom and gloomers here aren't we?!?! Amazing news about heartbeat. I dream of midwife appointments like that... 2ww isn't too bad for me. It's the bit after that drives me potty!

butterfly86 Tue 05-Mar-13 13:46:41

School I'm pleased mw had a listen for you bet it was amazing to hear it smile
I'm ok at work as normal just feeling really tired. Keep having a bit of a wobble thinking this is it we are never going to have a baby and maybe I should just accept that. I think it's maybe because I can't help thinking something is wrong and they aren't doing anything to find it. I am happy with the consultant in that she really knows her stuff and I have faith in her but she won't do anything, she knows we are willing to pay if we have to so surely if she thought we needed it she would say go for it she said she has referred couples to rmc but is quite happy for us to stay where we are at the moment. She seems to think the problem is super fertility and my womb isn't being selective and there's nothing we can do about it except keep trying it's so frustrating!

LandsN Tue 05-Mar-13 14:19:42

I have still got a long way to go yet but put my minf at rrst a bit for now bit of belly ache after the horrid internal scan though x

LandsN Tue 05-Mar-13 16:40:13

Happiness was short lived bleeding again quite heavy spoke to epac got to go for another scan tomorrow morning to see if its coming from bleed outside the sac feel really deflated again now suppose tomorrow will tell x

teaandchocolate Tue 05-Mar-13 16:54:56

Oh Lands how rubbish. I will keep everything crossed that its ok. Some women do bleed throughout pregnancy & are fine. I really hope you are one of them. Oh and in your situation I definitely would keep demanding scans! Ignore what I said yesterday!! Xx

LandsN Tue 05-Mar-13 16:59:45

Thanks tea can't really cope with this roller coaster of emotions just wondering if the scan could have irritated the bleed outside the sac and caused more to come away I hope that's all it is epac have been brilliant I just hope it's the same as before! Suppose only the scan will tell there was a h/b this morning so lets hope I see it again tomorrow xx

butterfly86 Tue 05-Mar-13 18:54:55

Oh bugger Lands. Try to keep positive as hard as it is it could be the rest of the bleed just coming away, I hope that's the case. Your head must be up your bum with this, praying it's ok for you xx

orangebowl Tue 05-Mar-13 19:58:00

Oh Lands hmm. That roller coaster is so difficult. As you said- there was a heartbeat today so extremely possible there is still one- no reason that the reason for bleeding is any different to before. Hope you can get some rest tonight. X

LandsN Tue 05-Mar-13 20:00:03

Yeah slightly I keep snapping at oh and he is only trying to b nice bless him going to try and stay positive till morning the doctor has prescribed me asprin so got to pick that up tomorrow if all is ok does seem the same as other day just glad they can scan me again to check or I would drive myself mad feel like a right moaner as I told epac nurse and she was really lovely fingers crossed its still ok x

Bakingtins Tue 05-Mar-13 22:27:44

Hi ladies. I'm currently in the middle of MC3. I had succesful pregnancy in 2006, MC at 10 weeks 2009, successful pregnancy 2010, MC at 8 weeks Sept 2012 and at 8 weeks now. Previously I have had no doubt about TTC again, but DH and I had agreed this was our last shot at baby 3. I'm 38 and aware that risks of miscarriage and chromosome abnormalities are only increasing with time.
I probably don't qualify for testing anyway as I had a successful pregnancy between MC1 and 2, but it does always seem to be at the same stage, so I'm worried that there is actually something wrong with me. Surely nobody is just this unlucky?
GP did TORCH testing last time because hospital got their knickers in a twist about infections then lost all the swabs, so GP redid swabs and bloods. All clear.
How likely am I to be offered any further testing? I think I'd only want to try again if something was found that was treatable, I just can't risk this happening repeatedly. It may all be for naught anyway, DH and I haven't talked about what happens next anyway but I think he may put his foot down.

teaandchocolate Tue 05-Mar-13 22:56:31

Hi Baking. So sorry for your mc and welcome to the thread.

I'm in a similar position in that I had a mc then successful pregnancy then 2 mc. I underwent testing on the nhs because I saw a consultant privately and he offered to do nhs tests for me. However a GP at my practice has since said that she would have referred me anyway despite the 3 in a row rule (although not sure if the hospital would have then refused). Anyway nothing has been found and I'm now ttc again anyway (but wasted over 6 months for the testing).

Having tests is not the golden egg that I thought/hoped it would be. Karyotyping only looks for certain chromosomal abnormalities & doesn't rule out many others. If some are found then you just get a percentage chance of mc. I've also learnt that the clotting tests are notoriously difficult to carry out and often give false negatives. So not really sure where I stand. But I guess what I'm saying is that even if you can get some testing you may not get any answers or a 'cure'. There are loads of other tests available but usually privately or through the specialist hospitals (in which case you would need 3 mc in a row I think).

Hope this doesn't sound too doom & gloom. I think you still have a good chance of having a baby as you've done it twice before. If you really want testing see your GP and they maybe able to sort something out for you. I know how raw emotions are during a mc and how desperate you are to sort things out. Give yourself time to process everything.

Bakingtins Wed 06-Mar-13 06:04:30

Thank you teaandchocolate. I know it's not that likely that anything would be found. I think at the moment I feel like I couldn't embark on another pregnancy given my 40% success rate sad unless I could be doing something that would increase those chances. Need to get through this and have a talk with DH anyway about what happens in the future.
I've got Lesley Regan's book - I remember reading it after 1st MC and thinking that most of the chapters (on recurrent miscarriage) would never apply to me as I was just unlucky that time. <hollow laugh emoticon> I'll dig it out.

teaandchocolate Wed 06-Mar-13 08:07:34

Well my success rate is even worse! But I'm still trying again as my desire for another baby outweighs my fear of another mc. The tests were good as I felt like I was doing something and I saw different consultants who all seemed to think I'd get another baby. Plus I've had some time which seems to have helped my mental state. This board also really helped as I don't feel like I'm the only person out there dealing with this cr@p! I also had a bit of a kick up the bum after speaking to 2 friends who are both suffering fertility issues and don't have any children yet.

Give yourself some time to deal with this recent mc physically and emotionally and then see how you feel. I like to have a plan so was desperate for tests while I waited but its worth bearing in mind that the thrombophilia tests require you to wait around 6/8 weeks after the mc and then results take around 12 weeks. Quite a while to wait when you're ttc.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You've been through a lot. But you have also had 2 children so your body does work and will in all likelihood do it again!!

twentythirteen Wed 06-Mar-13 10:53:28

I was about to write woohoo LandsN, keeping fingers crossed though as you DID get a good result this morning.

And great you got to hear the heartbeat School!

Tea, I have heard that you can get a surge without ovulating. It's a bitch isn't it. No test for actual ovulation. I have never been diagnosed for pcos, and have not raised it as a possibility. I often spen most of the month with what feels like ovarian cysts. I haven't had that feeling this month, just the pinging sensation I associate with ovulation so I'm hopeful....

Oh wow, there's a lot to catch up on and the break I thought I was having just got cut short so will check in later!

LandsN Wed 06-Mar-13 11:23:00

H/b still there but there is another bleed detected in the pouch of Douglas not too sure if that makes m/c more likely got to go back in another week on the plus side it has grown 1 mm in 24 hrs how is everyone today? Xx

orangebowl Wed 06-Mar-13 11:57:00

Ok well that's good then Lands. Is that bleed near the baby? Such a stressful time for you.

I have just come home from work as had a rubbish rally bad cold - streaming eyes the works! Had it for a couple of days and just exhausted now. Apparently your immune system I lowered when pregnant which makes sense as I am normally never ill and this is the third illness I've had in as many weeks! Very annoying- going to go and have a sleep if I can.

Xx

Bakingtins Wed 06-Mar-13 12:04:26

Have had a chat with my Dad today (retired doctor) and he's really encouraging me to get a referral for investigations and says he'll help out with the cost if necessary (bless - not good at the emotional stuff but always ready to help practically) Does anyone have any experience of recurrent miscarriage investigation in the South-West? Googled it and came up with the Bristol Centre for Reproductive Medicine.
How do you decide whether to put yourself through it all? I have agreed with DH that we can't keep doing this because it dominates your life, but I think if I give up now I'll always feel my family is incomplete and be haunted by what might have been, particularly if there is something simple like thyroid meds or aspirin that might make a difference.

orangebowl Wed 06-Mar-13 12:26:12

Hi baking. I'm not sure about the south west but I do Agree with your dad that its worth having the tests. I didn't find the testing stressful at all- for me it was a positive thing, trying to do something about it. From a physical perspective it's mainly just (a lot of) blood tests too.

And talking of success rates.. Mine was 20% success rate and since testing I'm now at 16 weeks pregnant and hoping to get that success rate increased!

Good luck. X

teaandchocolate Wed 06-Mar-13 13:30:23

Baking I hope I didn't sound too negative about testing. It was a positive thing for me too as it felt like I was doing something and I was relieved to rule certain thing out. It's just that when you said you couldn't go again unless you found something to treat I just didn't want you to get your hopes up too much. I felt like tests were the next logical step and to be honest if we have more mc I will probably go somewhere else for more tests!!

I don't know about the south east I'm afraid but it seems like the best place to go for clotting issues is St Mary's Paddington and the best place for NK cells is Mr Shehata in Harley street or St Helier. There's also Liverpool where school is and I've heard of. Prof gorgy and quenby mentioned on these threads. Sorry if spelt wrong! I just went to my local cons and then someone in Sheffield who I wouldn't recommend and also a clinic in London for scans.

Your GP should be able to sort out some tests though like thyroid, glucose, general blood count etc. Maybe go to your GP first of all and see what they say and what they will do.

Lands so good the hb is still there but must be so stressful for you. Hang on in there. Did the hospital say if they thought mc was more likely?

Twenty I really hope I did ovulate!! Cramps have mostly gone so hope they were related to ovulation and no stupid cysts!!

butterfly86 Wed 06-Mar-13 14:43:40

Lands that's good news the only time I've heard of blood in the pouch is when it's ectopic which yours isn't so maybe it's just one of them things they musn't have been concerned about it x

Hope everyone else is ok?

Welcome to the thread Baking, sorry that you find yourself here. The other ladies have given some good advice and answered your questions so just wanted to say hi x

LandsN Wed 06-Mar-13 15:16:07

They couldnt say either way if I would mc just got to have another scan next week to see if it has reduced, they daid I will bleed more but to try not to worry unless it is any different suppose only time will tell xx

twentythirteen Wed 06-Mar-13 18:03:03

Just catching up still...

Butterfly how confusing to hear a theory about super fertility. How do you feel about that? How are you getting on post mc?

Hi Bakingtins, welcome, and sorry to hear you're currently mc'ing. Where are you at in the process? And I echo what Tea said, we've just had the tests and while it's nice that came back showing that for the things they've tested we are fine, it means nothing in terms of changes we can make to get a healthy baby. I don't know about the south west but that's very kind of your father.

And I know what you're all talking about re the fear of mc again - my thinking is, now that I've done it, it is the hardest thing I've had to go through and now that I have three times, with each one being unique and painful in different ways, I feel like it's something that at least I can do. I'm depressed, but I can get through it. Don't know if that perspective helps, it's not the cheeriest of perspectives, but I'm in this until I have to stop, which age-wise is not far off for me.

LandsN, I hope you find some respite over this period, that's a lot to have to manage, I hope you get some rest and can be doing some things that are nurturing.

Afm, I've totally bounced to the other side now and am all hopeful. Recipe for disaster.

Bakingtins Wed 06-Mar-13 20:10:33

Thanks for the welcome, everyone. I think the worst of the MC is over, had pretty heavy bleeding all day yesterday but lighter today. Have not been near EPU this time but have contacted GP and asked it is put on medical record. I'm planning to POAS in a few weeks. Do you think as long as it goes back to negative I am ok to avoid EPU? Have v bad memories there and have found it easier to cope without all the poking and prodding, doesn't actually affect the outcome at all, does it? First MC was in effect a MMC at 10 weeks though I'd had spotting and discharge from 10 weeks, had 2 positive scans then baby died at some point after 8 weeks. 10 week scan, no heartbeat, sent home to miscarry and haemorrhaged at home, ended up having emergency ERPC fully conscious with no pain relief because I was bleeding so much. MC2 I panicked a bit when the bleeding got heavy and went to hospital but apart from prodding repeatedly by lots of very junior doctors they didn't do anything, ended up being given medical management for what one sonographer said was retained product, did nothing except give me horrendous cramps, second scan said there was nothing there. Then they lost my swabs and bloods and I had to have the whole lot redone. I'm not full of confidence in them!
I had a PPH after the birth of my son resulting in a blood transfusion. Would be pretty ironic if I turn out to have sticky blood, seems like once I start bleeding I have no idea when to stop. Does anyone have problems linked to previous transfusion or to ERPC (which I had to treat the PPH)?
I know I'm probably clutching at straws.

Bakingtins Wed 06-Mar-13 20:11:45

LandsN keeping fingers crossed for positive news next week.

twentythirteen Thu 07-Mar-13 08:15:01

Hi Bakingtins, my understanding that a negative pregnancy test means that everything is gone. It is awful having those internal scans and if you're not trusting of you local services then I would also be tempted to avoid them unless necessary. How awful they lost your swabs and bloods!! I don't know what pph is so can't help there. I was told several years back, by a gp testing for something else, that I had sticky blood, but in my recent tests my blood seems fine so I wonder if things can change/improve?

How are things this morning LandsN?

Ladies, can you bring me back to realityland? I just looked up the due date if I get pregnant this month...

LandsN Thu 07-Mar-13 08:16:50

Hi everyone I am not too bad this morning got a stinking cold though not bleeding ATM so that's good xx

teaandchocolate Thu 07-Mar-13 08:27:45

Baking your experience sounds awful so I'm not surprised you'd rather avoid the hospital. My consultant seemed happy that if my bleeding stopped and I had no pain I didn't need a scan. However I preferred to have them to check everything's gone. Just keep a close eye on things.

As far as surgery affecting mc I think it is possible because one consultant I saw wanted me to have a hsg as I've had one csection and 2 erpcs. I ended up having a sis 3D scan as I thought it might be less invasive. Anyway nothing was found except obviously my csection scar was visible. In Prof Regans book she does discuss physiological causes of mc so it could be worth mentioning. I wasn't convinced it applied to me though as I had a mc before my DD and I know my 2nd mc had triploidy.

Twenty I try hard not to think of due dates but its impossible not to. The 2ww is now getting to me and I keep feeling a bit positive then getting upset as its more likely to all go wrong again...that is if I can even get pregnant.

Bakingtins Thu 07-Mar-13 10:03:48

Sorry for acronyms - PPH = post partum haemorrhage. Just to illustrate the point that I am pretty good at bleeding spectacularly.

LandsN Fri 08-Mar-13 10:32:07

Hi ladies how is everyone feeling today, feel all flued up today got some mild cramp in my left side just above my hip bit worrying x

teaandchocolate Fri 08-Mar-13 11:47:59

Hi Lands. I feel rubbish today too - had a headache for the past 2 days and feeling quite emotional. Can't decide if its hormones or whether its rational! My friends all have their babies now so feel quite sad that I'm avoiding the get togethers. Plus my mum is just so insensitive about it all. Feel like everyone just forgets and gets on with their own lives because the mc were quite a while ago now. But I think about it constantly and feel upset that its been so long since the mc but I'm still no closer to having a baby. Sorry for the miserable post! I had been feeling quite positive so not sure why its all come crumbling down now!! Feel like just going to bed for a few years!

twentythirteen Fri 08-Mar-13 12:10:17

Hi LandsN, sounds like it's all coming at you, when's your next check up due?

And thanks Tea, I feel grounded again. I got caught out by a mother's day advert. Last mother's day I started bleeding on the Friday morning, just a tiny bit, but went to A&E that evening thanks to MN advice, went to inlaws Sunday because we didn't have a clue what was happening, had to make an awful stop at a garage toilet on the way home, and by Sunday night the bulk of it was over. It was the most disturbing thing I'd ever experienced. I think I mentioned that I'd managed to not realise it would happen ever again? Well, it carries on. A while back I'd made plans to see two friends not realising that of course we'll be going to OH's parents. Just let friends know I made a mistake and can't go. I've never been so dopey. Clearly my ability to live in a world of my own making can reach disturbing heights!

LandsN Fri 08-Mar-13 13:04:59

Tea I'm sorry your having a rough time I do totally understand though, big hugs to u xx and twenty I got m/w Monday and scan Wednesday I am loosing hope though cos feeling like this cant b good for baby sad quite a few funny spells too xx

butterfly86 Sat 09-Mar-13 21:32:56

Hi Ladies hope everyone is ok! Tomorrow is probably going to be a crappy day for us all, chins up if anyone needs support I'm sure we will all be here for each other xx

teaandchocolate Sun 10-Mar-13 09:18:54

Hope everyone's doing ok today. Its so hard as Mother's Day just seems to be everywhere. Butterfly how are you feeling?

For some reason I've been pretty glum these past few days. Found loads of newspaper articles about secondary infertility online last night which for some reason made me quite sad as its like admitting I'm not like everyone else and am one of those unfortunate women people feel sorry for. I'm so up and down in my emotions at the moment!!

twentythirteen Sun 10-Mar-13 14:30:24

What kind of "funny spells" LandsN? It must feel like the longest wait to Wednesday. Sending big hugs your way.

Sounds like you came across some badly timed info Tea, I'm with you on the rollercoaster emotions.

Butterfly, good idea, how are you? I spent the morning watching tv.

I am dpo 6 and feel like this has been the longest 6 dpo I have ever experiened.

LandsN Sun 10-Mar-13 20:41:12

Hi ladies hope today has not been too hard on anyone? Twenty Wednesday seems so far away and I know in my head I am so ready for a repeat of my last 8 week scan I have midwife tomorrow and the funny spells are like I am going to faint ringing in ears feel sick etc might b my blood pressure dropping again as usual quite scary though!! My oh took me out for dinner and I ordered a prawn cocktail and then couldn't remember if I could eat it so had to leave it I was gutted and then the main salad had feta cheese in it and a cheese sauce on it so left that too as I was not sure waste of money x

butterfly86 Mon 11-Mar-13 09:21:16

Hey Ladies well yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought but was a bit sad just about what should have been. Hope it wasn't too bad for everyone else.

I'm going for my first counselling session this afternoon I'm guessing there will be tears I cried on the phone just making the appointment!

We are thinking about getting married we've been engaged long enough and are going to have a look at a venue tonight, going to see if there's availability for this year but if not will do it next year. It would be quite nice if we could do it this year, would give us something else to focus on and would be about a 5/6 month break from ttc. I've got a bit carried away with ideas etc and have spent all weekend scouring the internet for wedding things but I haven't once looked at anything about miscarriage and it's been nice to not think about it, it might be just what we need. Dp said I know what's going to happen now though you will end up pregnant before the wedding!

twentythirteen Mon 11-Mar-13 10:27:23

LandsN, is it worth ringing and trying to get a sooner appt with mw or check out symptoms with your epu? That's such a shame about your meal out. I know when I'm not feeling too great I can also make wrong choices, how frustrating. I hope you can get out for a make-up meal soon!

Hope your counselling appt later is helpful Butterfly. What a wonderful alternative to be thinking about!!!!

I had in the back of my mind all day that I could have had a 3 month old, but actually no more than most days so it wasn't too bad. I did just feel really fat all day though, not helped by wearing my baggiest clothes and therefore enhancing the dumpy look, and thinking back to how good I felt in my body before we started trying and all the weight I've gained since.

I'm cd20 and 7 dpo. I've been symptom spotting like crazy and for about a 24 hour period I kept getting mild pinching sensations that I'd convinced myself were to do with implantation. I will get a nice bottle of wine in for "in case". I might be getting pre-menstrual. I was just doing a bit of online shopping and thinking hateful thoughts towards the GAP models with their really gorgeous hair and cheekbones!

teaandchocolate Mon 11-Mar-13 11:35:57

Hi everyone.

Lands have you had your midwife appointment yet? Those funny spells sound a bit scary. Definitely get your blood pressure checked and maybe your sugar levels and iron also? Hope everything is ok & you're not too stressed.

Butterfly planning a wedding is so exciting!! A lovely thing to take your mind off things and a reason to be pleased if you're not pregnant! It's fab when you realise you've not thought about mc for a while isn't it - I had a busy work day with loads of meetings a couple of weeks ago and it was great to be normal and not think about stuff. I normally work at home so have far too much time to be miserable and google.

Twenty glad I'm not the only one who's a bit emotional! The silliest things set me off at the most inappropriate times! I would also have a 5 month old or a new born and seeing friends with babies those ages is really hard. So instead I'm kind of hibernating.

I'm also symptom spotting like a crazy person. Think I'm 11 dpo today (assuming ovulation happened on the last smiley face day?). Been cramping on and off but had that in my anovulatory cycle so not sure it means much. Yesterday I had some brown spotting which totally panicked me. However wondered if could be implantation bleeding? Don't want to get hopes up though and never had it before so could just be hormones up the spout again. Argh. What do you think??

butterfly86 Mon 11-Mar-13 14:33:27

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for both of you! smile

You both have promising symptoms tea that does sound like it could be ib, I know they say it's not that common but I've had it 3 out of 4 times. Don't want to get your hopes up though so I'll say no more! When are you going to test?

Twenty I know how you feel about feeling fat it's so annoying that you get all the extra pounds but no baby! I lost 2 pounds. this week so I'm on the right track would like to lose another 10 or 12 though.I hope the pinching sensation is a good sign for you!

It's very strange not ttc I think I'm around ovulation I've had ewcm all weekend and am having one sided short sharp pains as I type it's difficult not to just dtd I'd normally be waiting desperately for this and it makes me a bit sad. We have dtd a couple of times just using withdrawl I really must sort something out that's a bit more reliable.

twentythirteen Mon 11-Mar-13 16:34:29

Tea, I think you start counting after the smilely face, i.e. if you have a smiley face on Monday (and if you ovulated that day, it could have been the next day!) then Tuesday would be 1dpo ... so could you be just 10 dpo? I read that implantation can take up to 12 days so it's worth hanging on to see what happens. When are you going to test??? (you have powers of steel when it comes to poas - when it's my turn I'll poas on anything moving!).

Butterfly I also have sat through ovulation time while recovering from a mc. It's hard. It sounds like you're doing good things though to lose some weight and all that helps moodwise. I've just given up on my size 10/12 stuff for the time being and cleared it all out so that I can at least wear everything I can see rather than feel crap everytime I try something on and it doesn't fit. When we are finished trying then I will lose the weight.

As for symptom spotting I am needlessly a little bit tired. I say needlessly as I've been taking it easy and getting a lot of rest lately. I'm hoping of course that this indicates an increase in hormones in the right direction. I can poas Thursday (10dpo), which means I will start poasing tomorrow. I am grateful for internet cheapies!!!!!

teaandchocolate Mon 11-Mar-13 16:55:20

After saying I was ok with the 2ww I'm now officially losing it!!

Was going to test on Thursday which I thought was 14 dpo. But just had a teensy bit more spotting. Wouldn't even say was spotting more like dark cm (so sorry for tmi!!). So now desperate to poas! So worried its AF starting.

Twenty I had smiley faces on weds 27 & thurs 28 so was assuming the second one was ovulation - I also tested on the Friday and no smiley. Did loads of tests as never used them before! So do you think the Thursday is more likely to be d-day?

Butterfly I find it so hard not ttc if I think I ovulated. Especially as ovulation happens so infrequently for me! I do think its good to have a break though and you are still doing positive things like the counselling & acupuncture.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Mon 11-Mar-13 17:23:10

Hello. Sorry I haven't posted since first introducing myself. please don't think me ignorant.

I wanted to wait until i'd seen the Dr again to see where I go now. Well he has said:

1 x75mg aspirin everyday, (even when not diffed); 2 x clomid (as I ovulate on CD 20 which he feels is too late); when BFP arrives I have to inject Fragmin daily. If all that fails and I MC again we will be referred for IVF with embryo testing.

There is nothing wrong hormonally with me, or with my blood. I can't help feeling i'm being 'messed' with too much.

Is anyone else on anything similar.

Also I asked about vitamin D and he said that I don't have a fertility problem, as i get pregnant, so Vit D won't make any difference?!

teaandchocolate Mon 11-Mar-13 19:29:15

Hi Buggerlugs. I think one of the difficulties in dealing with rmc is that there doesn't seem to be a consistent approach. Every doctor seems to have a different view and so many theories are not properly tested. Many treatments are prescribed because they won't do any harm but they might possibly help.

So my (entirely unprofessional) view on your proposed treatment:
Aspirin - my gynae suggested taking in my last pregnancy (which failed) as I might as well. I don't think it does any harm although I have read on here that some doctors think it can affect implantation so best to take from a bfp. I've read it can help where there's a clotting issue and makes no difference to a pregnancy where there isn't.

Clomid - I've not taken it as I also ovulated albeit infrequently. I does have side affects though and afaik you should only take on a monitored cycle because of the risk of overstimulation. FWIW I always ovulate very late - I think even with DD - & noone seems to think its a big issue. I'm not convinced however and I do worry that it causes dud eggs. But about 4 specialists have told me it doesn't. Who knows!!!

Fragmin - I have no idea sorry but didn't know it was standard to prescribe without any condition being diagnosed. Sorry but I can't remember - how many mc have you had?

IVF with embryo testing - I've discussed this briefly with a genetics counsellor and apparently it has quite low success rates (lower than normal IVF) but is obviously essential for people with diagnosed genetic problems. It's also very expensive. But I guess you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

Out of interest what tests have you had already? So sorry if you've already told me all this!!

teaandchocolate Mon 11-Mar-13 19:30:27

Oh and re vit D I think it's another one where there's anecdotal evidence but who knows. I take a huge vit d supplement anyway as I hope it can't do any harm - there don't seem to be many vit d side effects!!

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Mon 11-Mar-13 19:37:05

Hey Tea - I kind of think they have a bit of a tick list and try everything on it hoping it will help.

I'm not sure which tests we've had. I know we've had day 21, chromosomes, progesterone, blood disorders, sperm analysis etc.

teaandchocolate Mon 11-Mar-13 19:52:55

Well I guess it depends on what approach you prefer. I get frustrated as most consultants tell me it will happen. I think because I have a DD already they don't want to do anything which I did annoying as I'd like to have a plan and some treatment!

LandsN Mon 11-Mar-13 20:08:23

Hi ladies had midwife today bp is fine got to see consultant when I go for scan wed but have bad back ache today just on one side just hope all is still ok I know I said it before but I don't hold much hope time will tell hope u r all ok xx

twentythirteen Mon 11-Mar-13 22:23:21

Hi Buggerlugs, and that's good news LandsN. I get that you're still cautious so I won't woop, but that's is good news and I'm pleased for you.

twentythirteen Tue 12-Mar-13 10:30:04

8dpo here and a bfn, no surprise, but if I was pg then I had a 30% chance of it showing up today. The wish is drilled into my unconscious brain though as I dreamed last night that I was pg and telling people. I have nooooo symptoms, try as I might to make them up.

What's news with everyone else this morning?

teaandchocolate Tue 12-Mar-13 10:39:50

It's probably too early for a bfp Twenty, I never get them til quite late I think (been going through old diaries today trying to figure it out).

News with me is I'm going slightly insane! Still very light brown spotting so feeling stressed that its breakthrough bleeding caused by pcos. Never had implantation bleeding and some websites seem to say its a myth. Bleeding for me has never been a good thing... Anyway am probably 12 dpo ish but not tested as dont want to waste £5 and only have 2 first response in stock!!! Also think its probably too early for me. But literally cannot think about anything else - arggh! Might test tomorrow morning as need to know to start progesterone but have an irrational fear of wasting expensive hpts!!!

teaandchocolate Tue 12-Mar-13 10:40:30

Oh and Lands that is good news about the hb. One step at a time but you're are hopefully slowly getting there.

twentythirteen Tue 12-Mar-13 11:01:26

(cheapies from HOme Health UK Tea, £5 for 10 - that's all I'm saying!)

Two of my pg's showed on 10 dpo, one very faint and one strong. I don't get down about a bfn so early though. I'm just a poasaholic!

I don't know anyhting about pcos so I'm just hoping for you. I did have implantation bleeding once, my last pg, but it was a smear and that's all. I think the idea is it's so slight it's easy to miss so it soudns like your pcos theory might be the one???

teaandchocolate Tue 12-Mar-13 12:34:35

It is very light. Not when I wipe but a dot on a pad once a day. Today was very pale brown (so so sorry for tmi!!). Only know because I wear a pad every day now to keep an eye on cm!! Sorry am so gross...

I always read threads of people being anxious and stressy about whether or not they're pregnant and I think well you either are or you aren't and there's nothing you can do except wait and test. But now its me I can't take my own advice!!

twentythirteen Tue 12-Mar-13 14:36:57

Wanting and trying for a child is not like anything else. The hormonal surges complicate it. And each pregnancy is a stand alone phenomenon so you can't even be sure of things. It's all a recipe for neurosis!

GuppieK Tue 12-Mar-13 17:55:15

Just thought I'd check in with everyone. Has been difficult to post as moved house a few weeks back and only just got broadband sorted. I did try to have a discreet check of the forum at work but it's not easy as you don't really want work colleagues seeing you reading a miscarriage forum..!

LandsN, so sorry to read you're having such a stressful time with your pregnancy, but glad everything was looking good yesterday.

Tea and Twenty - Think I'm at about the same time of the cycle as you both. I'm on day 24 today so could probably do a test at the weekend. I've been so stressed this month though that I can't imagine any embryo would want to implant tbh! Have had 3 job interviews, a first and second for one job and then one for another job today... and interviews always make me nervous! Plus lots of house things to sort - electrician coming and telling us our lights might give us an electric shock etc.

Tea, I share with you your dislike of wasting pregnancy tests. I feel such an impatient idiot when I've done one early and it's negative. Like, it's told you nothing because you've done it early so you might still be pregnant anyway! I've still done it loads of times though. One morning I got up, thought sod it I'm peeing on one. Then wiped and there was AF. £5 to tell me what I would have found out 30 secs later!

LandsN Tue 12-Mar-13 20:14:33

Thanks everyone for your kind comments scan nerves are kicking in again for tomorrow hope all is ok feeling a bit bloated now hope that's a good sign!! It's been nearly 9 years sing my lg so totally forgot what to expect,
Hope you are all well tonight xx

LandsN Tue 12-Mar-13 20:19:18

Oh and guppie I had about 2 years where almost every month I would think this is it poas or at least buy it and af would come but before this bfp I couldn't buy a pack of 2 cos stupidly I would do both in same day as I felt the need as it was sitting there stupid ey I think it does become a obsession I even done more after the bfp lol I done one last week at 7 weeks pg just to make sure the line showed then ended up having scan the next day I started getting pound shop ones cos it was proving very expensive xx

orangebowl Tue 12-Mar-13 21:11:04

sorry I've been absent too. On mobile so quick update from me.

Tea- sorry you have been feeling so rubbish. I had implantation bleeding with my DS and it was like the first day of a period. Think i tested 4 days after that and got my bfp (but that was nearly 5yrs ago do hard to remember). It's all just such a roller coaster isn't it.

Lands. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. I actually have a scan tomorrow too. 17 weeks if all is well. I really thought that if I got to this stage I would be "normal" again and take it all in my stride but I'm nervous. Not quite as nervous as I was for previous scans but undoubtedly nervous. Will let you know how it goes.

Xxx

LandsN Tue 12-Mar-13 21:24:23

Good luck school hope all is well I said to my mil today if all goes to plan I won't stop worrying till I am holding the little mite in my arms even then the worrying carries on all our lives fingers crossed for all of us we deserve it xxx

Bakingtins Wed 13-Mar-13 07:18:29

Good luck LandsN and School for scans today.

I went out with DH last night and we had a really good talk about what to do next. Can't even see my GP for another week but have contacted a consultant who has been recommended and she will see us for an initial private appointment tomorrow, so we've decided to go for it.

teaandchocolate Wed 13-Mar-13 08:42:41

Hi everyone.

Guppie - sounds like you've been really busy! It's nice to have things to take your mind off mc isn't it. Glad I'm not the only one with a test obsession! Do you have a good feeling about this month?

School I know you won't really relax until the baby's here and I know how horrible scans are because of all the memories but you've got so much further than before and you'll be able to feel movement soon. Just hang on in there!!

Baking I think you're definitely doing the right thing. You need to find a consultant who will support you and make you feel reassured. It's about feeling like you're doing everything you can to make it happen. And hopefully on the way you will get some answers.

Thanks for all your support. I'm still feeling pretty rubbish to be honest. Yesterday another friend with a dc the same age as mine told me she was pregnant. I suspected she was struggling but it has hit me really hard as I feel so alone. I also still have brown spotting which I just don't think can be a good sign. Even if I do get a bfp just don't think spotting is good and makes me feel so stressed. I hardly slept last night which I know is ridiculous and counterproductive. Hope I snap out of this soon as only been properly trying again for about 3 months just didn't think this would be the hard part. Also totally panicking about age gaps again which I know is ridiculous and out of my hands. And I know sounds very pathetic to those who have no dc. I need some perspective. Or maybe to go and live on a desert island for a bit!!!!

twentythirteen Wed 13-Mar-13 08:56:35

Good luck baking, landsn and school!

Tea, this is a rough bit, and whether pg or expecting af you have more hormones surging at the moment so do take it easy on yourself. Can you speak to your oh about it and at least get a cuddle? Do keep posting here how you're doing, these final days before a decision, and with all your spotting, can be the most tense.

As for my silly early testing, statistically today I had a 50% chance of showing a positive but it was bfn. I do find these help keep me grounded. I'm still hopeful but much less manic in that hope!

LandsN Wed 13-Mar-13 10:48:32

morning everyone i have had scan and the heart beat is still there even though the baby is a bit small for dates it has grown since last week and they didnt seem too worried however there is still a big area of bleed at the side witch has changed shape and position it was the consultant that scanned me today so had a chat with her and she said i am to start taking the asprin straight away so next scan hopefully will be in 4 weeks if there are no problems in the mean time. She did say to try and not let it take over my life lol easier said than done. Hope all is well with everyone today xx