sometimes the tears just creep up on you (poss upsetting)

[giraffesCANdriveAcar]

I was looking after my best friends baby today , have had her lots and am usually fine but sometimes have a wee hormonal moment when shes left and the house seems all empty again and I think of what could have been...

Was feeling a bit delicate about having her today as had a really upsetting dream last night (you might not want to read this paragraph if easily upset) In the dream I gave birth to 2 girls born asleep very early - and they looked like my Rosie did. But then I went to tesco to get them twin dresses and when I came back one of the girls heads had fallen off and the hospital didn't care. And I kept asking people to help but no one would listen. It was horrible And I have been thinking about it all day.

Anyway this afternoon was holding friends wee girl and was saying how much I love her etc and a few wee tears came and ran down my face and I had a wee cry. And the baby looked at me and slapped me accross the face and giggled I couldn't help laughing - I mean I wasnt THAT upset that I needed slapped! God she makes my heart ache, but I am glad I can be her "auntie" even if it is so very hard sometimes.

Just had to share. Supposed to be going out tonight, not sure I can, just feel blaaa. Want to curl up in bed and have a wee cry.