Crying at Work

[Daynee]

Ok, so I'm supposed to be 6 weeks but I started bleeding a little yesterday and I'm so confused, of course, expecting the worst because I've had 4 mc's before. I took yesterday off and now I'm back to work today. I am a teacher and I told my principal just in case I have to leave if I start to bleed and cramp heavy and I started to cry and now I'm in my classroom hiding and crying and I'm so embarrassed. I didn't cry at all yesterday and now I'm melting.

I'm still clinging to a little bit of hope because I'm still feeling nauseous and crampy but I expect the worst and now I have to wait...

[annie51]

Hi Daynee

I'm in the same boat have started to cramp heavy and some light bleeding today should be 6.5 weeks. I've had 6 mc's before so like yourself hoping against hope...

[Daynee]

Oh, annie - I'm so sorry. How do you cope? I feel like I'm falling apart...literally and mentally...

[onepieceoflollipop]

This is so hard for you.

Do you kind of feel that if you go and tell the principal that you need to go home, this is kind of "giving up" or tempting fate or something like that?

Regardless of what happens (and let's hope it is good news) you are perhaps too vulnerable emotionally to try and teach this afternoon.

I think you should go and see him/her and be upfront and say that you aren't feeling well at all, and don't know what will happen, but really do need to go home.

I understand but only a tiny bit, had one mc in the past. x

[Muser]

I'm so sorry you're going through this again. Please don't try and be strong, go home and do whatever you need to do. I hope that things turn out ok.

[Daynee]

Yes, I feel weak if I can't do this. I feel like a wimp and I'm totally embarrassed. I've taken more time off in the past but I feel like I should be used to it by now and I shouldn't need time off.

[Muser]

You are not weak. And it shouldn't get easier just because you've been here before. I'm probably having my second miscarriage and it's so much harder than the first, I can't imagine how you must feel.

Please go home and look after yourself. Don't try to be strong.

[just1moreplease]

daynee you are in no way weak. you are an amazingly brave woman. go home if you need to.

have you had any medical advice yet?

take care of yourself please

x

[kissmummy]

hi daynee i can't believe this, and sorry, annie51 to hear you're having some worrying symptoms too. please go home asap. you cannot just go on functioning as normal when you are sick with fear, and it is not fair on yourself to try and maintain this front. i hope against hope that it will not be bad news again.

[rainbowdays]

Daynee - you are not weak for needing to go home, I hope you did not go into work today? Although you have been through it before you say, this time- is this time. You can't say it is going to be easier because you have been through it before. I have found that each m/c has hit me differently, sometimes it was easier than others. But you need to listen to your body. Your hormones are going crazy and that is reason enough to need the time off. I hope that you are not actually going through another m/c, and that the spotting settles down for you. I will be waiting anxiously for news from you, and praying for the best.

[Daynee]

Thank you so much ladies for your kind words. Unfortunately, I'm at work again today because I need to finish some testing. I have 2 weeks off in March so I'm eagerly awaiting that time so I can relax. I did tell my principal to change my morning duty because I've been having to take this wild child to breakfast...He throws food at me and other students and runs around and yells at me and I've done my best with him but I just can't do it right now. I feel bad like I gave up but I can't even stand to be around this kid right now. I love all my students but I just can't do this one...

My parents are tough love and they only want the best for me but they tell me to keep moving on and get back to work and this and that...when all I really want to do is run and hide for a while. I think they should proud that I'm managing to get up at 5 am every morning, drive over an hour to work feeling nauseous, and be around kids and people all day...Jeez.

[just1moreplease]

how are you today daynee?

[ac73]

Hello Daynee,

Be kind to yourself and stay at home. Thinking of you and hoping things work out.

[Buckler]

You must look after yourself. I'm a teacher too and found it very hard to cope after miscarriages. There is too much pressure on teacher's to be strong at all times and never have time off particularly if you have unsympathetic male leader's like me!!
I say put yourself first rest and check out whatis happening!.
Sending you a big hug.

[Daynee]

Thank you Buckler - I agree - I think too much is expected of teachers, and actually, I think too much is expected of all people in the working world. I'm all for the 4-day work week. And yes, men don't get it because they don't want to be sensitive. My principal's wife is a stay-at-home mom, so what would he know about the difficulties of being a full-time working woman with reproductive responsibilities?!

On the bright side, the Asst. Principal who is a woman was really great. She has had 6 mc's and told me I should be at home resting. I said I'm fine but that I will take her up on that whenever I feel the need...

[Buckler]

Glad you have got a supportive asst principal she sounds nice and caring just what you want.
Think teaching is a very hard job to do when you have things going on as all the time we are having to act as if there is nothing wrong. I have a friend at work who is going through a divorce and finding it very hard to keep going at times. Having said that sometimes being distracted helps, you just have to go with how you are feeling and be kind to yourself. Just don't be pressurised into anything.

How is everything? Have you got an appointment at an early pregnancy centre?