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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Preggers again, & NERVOUS

59 replies

Daynee · 03/02/2010 16:30

Hi ladies,
Well, I'm preggers again but unfortunately, I can't be excited about it. After 4 mc's, I pretty much expect it to happen again. Yes, I've done all the tests, nothing wrong, last one had triploidy, maybe bad eggs? Nobody knows. I'm taking my vitamins, baby aspirin, and progesterone, BUT I'm not going to go to the doctor until I make it 3 months.
This might sound crazy but I'm tired of paying all this money to be disappointed over and over again. There isn't anything they can do for me anyway...
So I wish I had a fast forward button. Any other suggestions? I'm just working, keeping busy, and trying not to think about it (easier said than done). I'm so worried. Every time I go to the bathroom, my heart pounds...
Encouraging words, anyone?

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just1moreplease · 04/02/2010 07:07

congratulations daynee

dont have any advice but just wanted to say good luck.

im currently ttc after 4 mc. on the 2ww now, so hopefully i will be joining you soon.

xx

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rainbowdays · 04/02/2010 13:05

Congratulations,,,,,

OK I am currently pregnant following 5 consecutive miscarriages and one previous to that. So I can understand what you are saying. Part of me wishes I had not gone to the doctors early this time. As I am having repeated scans and basically still do not know if this pregnancy is going to last or not.

One thing that did help me (until I stopped going two weeks ago ) was acupuncture. Really helped me relax. Perhaps you could try that?

I hope that others come here with words of wisdom, as I am lacking in it at the moment!

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just1moreplease · 04/02/2010 15:37

rainbowdays how far along are you? have you ever been given a possible reason for your mc?. hope everything works out for you this time

x

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Daynee · 04/02/2010 16:24

Thanks for your kind words ladies.
rainbow - I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. I take it you have a child though? If you do, this gives me hope!

It's so crazy that there is still so much unknown by doctors . I would get PGD IVF if I knew there were better odds than trying on my own, but as my specialist told me, the chances are the same, so why pay all that money?

Anyway, when was your last scan? I hope everything works out for you this time. It's crazy...my last 3 pregnancies, I thought, this is going to be great. I can't possibly miscarry again...and then I did. And now, I just don't know . I don't think there's anything we can do to alleviate the worry and dread...other than keeping busy and eating pizza! I'm not into accupuncture but I do read a lot and play wii, which both relax me....

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kissmummy · 04/02/2010 21:51

hello daynee, i can't tell you how much I empathise. we've exchanged messages many times before so i know your history. It's not dissimilar to mine (i've also had four consecutive MCs...) but if i remember correctly you dont have any children yet whereas i have my DS, who is 2.5years old.
I will be crossing everything for you.
I have no advice really on how to get through the weeks ahead, as i find the uncertainty of pregnancy horrendous now myself. It is simply impossible after going through what we have to be anything other than plagued by fear and dread.
We get our test results back tomorrow. i know we are going to try again whatever, but going through it all again is almost unimaginable. feel free to email me privately on [email protected] knowing that i fully understand how you will be feeling, every day from now on in and will do anything i can to help.

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rainbowdays · 06/02/2010 06:26

Well I am not sure if it much help, but I have good news..... yesterday I had another scan, and there is a baby with a heartbeat!!!!!

According to my dates I am nine weeks today, but the scans are suggesting that I am a bit behind at around 7 weeks- ish. However I have a tilted uterus and have read on the misdiagnosed miscarriage website, that a tilted uterus can make a scan look up to two weeks behind what it should be. So I am not too worried about that. This is the first time in the last 6 pregnancies that I have got as far as seeing a heartbeat.

I am still in shock, I was preparing myself for the "usual" miscarriage talk yesterday, and then suddenly there was the heart beating away.

In answer to your question, yes I have other children, and they are wonderful. It is only in the last 18months that suddenly I have had recurrent miscarriages. I had one miscarriage prior to my last son, but none before that. All my miscarriages occured before 7 weeks, so to be at 9 weeks should have given me a clue that maybe not all was lost. It was only that the last three scans over two weeks showed no growth beyond 6 weeks, that caused me to doubt.

I had all the tests done for recurrent miscarriages, and nothing showed up. Despite this they put me on asprin and progesterone, but I was beginning to lose hope that anything might help (hence starting on acupuncture too!).

Sorry I am waffling, but I really believe that this pregnancy is going to make it and I am really excited about it.

How soon have your losses been? Have they been early or late losses? I hope that you will be joining me with good news too soon.

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Daynee · 12/02/2010 12:33

Hi rainbow - I just wanted to touch base with you and see how you're doing.
To answer your question, all my losses have been very early - approximately 6 weeks. Right now I'm approaching 6 weeks and I'm deathly afraid. I have been having nausea though, and I did not have it with any of the previous 4 pregnancies.

Please do keep in touch. I hope you're great!

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Cadmum · 12/02/2010 13:28

I'm just lurking but congratulations to you both.

Daynee I didn't go to the doctor until I was 12 weeks this time either. Now I (almost) wish that I had gone early but only because this particular ObGyn told me that he could have tested for a variety of things that might be responsible for my miscarriages.

I wish you both all the best.

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rainbowdays · 12/02/2010 14:14

Daynee - We are going to do ok this time, we can do this together.
Nausea sounds good, I am getting mild nausea too. I have a good feeling that the progesterone is doing the right job for the both of us.

I am gradually getting over the shock of the good scan last week and even allowing myself a little tiny bit of excitement.

I hope this weekend is a good one for you, and that you get passed your six-week point safely.

Cadmum - thank you for your best wishes.

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DUSTIN · 12/02/2010 14:41

Congratulations Daynee and rainbowdays.

I have had 3 mc's and when I found out I was pregnant with DD I went into denial. I didn't test when my period was overdue and even when the morning sickness kicked in I still kept telling myself I wasn't pregnant. Looking back I think I was just trying to protect myself. It is so sad that when you have had a mc you can't enjoy the early weeks through fear. I don't think I let myself totally relax all through the pregnancy but what I did find helped was the natal pregnancy hypnotherapy relaxation CD.

Good luck and take care.

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kissmummy · 12/02/2010 22:17

hi daynee just to let you know i'm thinking of you. one day at a time...the only pregnancy i had morning sickness with was the one that resulted in my DS. So i hope this nausea is a really good sign for you x

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Daynee · 16/02/2010 12:35

Thank you kissmummy and rainbow and all for your kind words. I just posted something about how I started to bleed yesterday and now I'm at work crying and I feel like I'm going to ram my head into the wall and start screaming like a crazy woman. I just feel horrific.

I'm trying to think positive but it's so hard, given my history, and the fact that I'm spotting. I'm still nauseous and crampy like my uterus is stretching but that's probably just tricking me. God is playing games with me!

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rainbowdays · 17/02/2010 12:21

Daynee - please I know it is not easy but try to relax and think positive. Loads of women have bleeding in the first few weeks and it is not all bad. Can you do anything to help yourself relax, can you take time off work? Take time for yourself and just think it is the little one burrowing in a little deeper and more securely. I am thinking of you. Take care of yourself.

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Daynee · 17/02/2010 12:33

Thank you so much rainbow - I so wish I could take time off from work but I can't right now because of testing that I have to do with my students. I'm clinging to the fact that I'll have 2 weeks off at the end of March so I'm just biding my time until then, doing my best to get through the days. I told my principal so at least he knows that I may not be all gung-ho about work right now!

I'm hoping the little one is just burrowing deeper and I'm trying to have faith, while also trying not to throw up on my way to work - my commute is over an hour! It's agonizing!

How are you doing darling?

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rainbowdays · 17/02/2010 15:21

I am having good and bad hours..... one minute I am "things are great, I feel nauseaous, I feel pregnant" then the next minute I am "it is all over, it is a missed miscarriage this time due to the progesterone and I really should just accept that it is not going to happen". Of course when I get the second type of thoughts I kick myself up the backside and tell myself that I am being stupid, that everything is ok. But I just crave reassurance.

Let us keep trying to be positive, despite the fears. Keep me updated as to how you are doing. Am thinking of you.

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jazzymama · 17/02/2010 15:53

Hi to everyone,

I am totally with you on the pregnant and nervous thing. I had a MMC at 11 weeks last Sept, whereby the U/S showed that the baby hadn't grown much beyond 5-6 weeks. I had a positive pregnancy test last Sunday and a/c to my calculations, I am in my 5th week now, with a due date of 22nd Oct. Only thing is that, apart from feeling a bit tired and having some fairly intense cramping (no bleeding) over the past 3 days, I have absolutely no symptoms at all (no nausea, no sore boobs, no frequent urge to go to the loo,...), which is just what it was like last time when I had my MMC. I do have a DS now aged 19 months and am trying to remember how soon I felt any pregnancy symptoms when I was expecting him...Think probably not until later than this, but as he was a surprise, I wasn't watching out for any signs. Now that I'm 39 and so want to have another child, I'm getting a bit irrational as to whether I'm really pregnant or not (did have 2 positive tests that showed "pregnant" and "1-2 weeks"!) and if so, whether it's normal not to feel pregnant at this stage...

Sorry, not sure if this is the right place to post this, but if anyone has any advice, I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks,

Jazzy

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rainbowdays · 17/02/2010 16:39

Jazzy - hi, and congratulations! We can empathise with your nervousness, but rest assured, most women do not get any symptoms until 6 ish weeks, and as you know every pregnancy is different and so symptoms mean absolutely nothing! If it would help then arrange an early scan at the epu for when you reach about 8 weeks, don't go before then unless you want to be caused further worries as in my experience it is just a waste of time as it depends on who does the scan, how good they are and the equipment etc. In the meantime, do whatever will help you to take it one day at a time.

I am trying to cope with one day at a time, but finding some times more difficult than others. We just need to trust that everything is ok unless we are proven the opposite.

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rainbowdays · 20/02/2010 18:42

Daynee - how is the bleeding? are you getting some rest today?

I have been cramping for last three days, and this morning started spotting. So I am trying to rest and hoping that it does not lead to anything. I have a scan booked for Tuesday, so I guess I will know a bit more then.

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Daynee · 22/02/2010 13:02

jazzy - Congratulations on the great news. Being this nervous is agonizing I know and there isn't much at all we can do about it but wait. Have you gotten any symptoms yet? Mine started at about 6 weeks, so be patient, and keep us posted...

rainbow - How far along are you? You must tell me about your scan tomorrow. I'm still feeling super nervous, of course. I'm still nauseous and I still have those stinging cramps like the uterus is stretching but sometimes I think, Oh no, it's the baby melting away, and any minute, I'll feel the blood come out...I know, it's terribly morbid. I'll be 8 weeks this weekend, and if I make it, I'm calling the doctor to get a scan...Please keep me posted...

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rainbowdays · 22/02/2010 21:07

Sorry to say that my baby has not made it. The heart has stopped beating, and I have started bleeding. I am upset but more numb than anything. Ironically my heartbeat monitor arrived in the post today, so sad.

Daynee, I hope that you get good news when you get your scan. I will be coming back here to check up on how you get on. thinking of you.

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Gi1da · 22/02/2010 21:56

Oh Rainbow I am so very sorry. [Hug]

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Daynee · 23/02/2010 13:46

Sht, Fck, damn rainbow - So sorry that this has happened...I know that words can not alleviate your pain but I just want to say that I'm sorry and I hope you can find time to relax...It will be okay.

I'm freaking nervous everyday. I'm still spotting on and off and am waiting to make it 8 weeks, which is this weekend. Then, I'll call for a scan. I haven't felt as nauseous the last few days as I normally do, so of course, I'm thinking the worst but I am wishing I get sick and vomit again soon - I never thought I'd wish that...

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rainbowdays · 10/03/2010 10:49

Daynee - been thinking about you and wondering if you got a scan done and how it went..... please let us know?

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Daynee · 10/03/2010 13:50

Hi rainbow - I've been thinking about you too. How are you holding up?

I went for a scan last week and everything was exactly right - the bean measured 8+3, which is actually bigger than I thought, and a strong heartbeat...

I figure I must be on the right track because none of my other pregnancies went this well. At the same time, I'm still quite nervous. I've already got a little belly that makes me look a bit chubby, but I just can't stop eating and I don't care...it helps a little with the nerves!

I go back March 30 for my 12-week and ultra scan, where they look at the nuchal translucency...yet another thing to worry about!

Please keep me posted on how you're doing.

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mumatron · 10/03/2010 15:59

wow daynee very happy for you.

when i first mc and i was googling like mad, i came across mumsnet and one of your previous threads. it was one of the reasons i signed up, rather than just lurked.

i reeaally hope you have good luck this time.

hope you are doing ok aswell rainbow

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