MMC diagnosed - ERPC on Tuesday but worried about making a mistake

[Boos75]

I think I'm going nuts but wondered if any of you have experienced the same feelings. This is my first pregnancy and we found out very early that I was pregnant (tested on a Thurs and it was BFN and then got a BFP on the Saturday). Although I'd just come off the pill I know the date I ovulated as used an OPK and also had strong ovulation pain the same day. So am pretty sure that I would be 9 weeks today by my dates.

Paid for a private scan at 7.3 weeks as we were excited and also I wanted reassurance. Were told no heartbeat visible and it was measuring around 6 weeks but would need a scan again to be sure. Managed to get a scan at my EPU two days later (last Saturday). They said the same and measurements hadn't changed CRL was 3.99mm). I went back again yesterday and again nothing has changed so they confirmed a MMC and am booked in for an ERPC on Tuesday.

I know that they are right but the scan we had yesterday was so rushed compared to the previous two as the sonographer was late in - though my DH could see the screen she didn't show me anything and have now come away worrying that unless I am shown scans I will worry I've destroyed a healthy baby. She did bring in someone to confirm it (does that usually happen?) but as I've had no bleeding at all am finding it hard to come to terms with. I should say that I suffer from OCD and anxiety so it is in my nature to worry ahead about things but I wondered if any of you have had the same? Thank you x

[kissmummy]

hi there, sorry to hear you're going through this. it's horrible, isn't it..?
it is quite normal for them to bring someone in for a second opinion. You seem very sure of your dates and if you're anything over eight weeks they really would expect to see a heartbeat at this stage if the pregnancy was progressing normally . it's really hard to come to terms with and i know from my own experience you keep hoping that somehow they've made a mistake but sadly it doesn't sound like there's any doubt now in your case.
If you feel really uncomfortable having the ERPC on Tuesday, why don't you ring the unit and discuss your concerns? They may well agree to give you a final scan before your procedure. Alternatively, you could tell them you want to wait and see if you can miscarry naturally. leave it a week and then if you've not had any bleeding, you could have another scan before booking the ERPC. For my last miscarriage I just didn't feel right about having the ERPC straight away, and cancelled it at the last minute. the unit was brilliant and a specialist nurse talked me through everything. I waited two weeks in the hope of miscarrying naturally but nothing happened and I ended up having the ERPC anyway, but i don't regret having waited.

[OnlyWantsOneFartleBerry]

I think you should wait - like Kissmummy said, just relax and see what happens naturally.

I am very sorry for your loss though x x

[Thirdtimeluckypleasexx]

I went through the same thing in November, you don't have to agree to the EPRC, I needed one in the end but I wouldn't have had it until I was bleeding - you just need your body to catch up. Good luck and v best wishes, think positively, you know you can conceive and for a lot of people on this site that is difficult. xx

[Boos75]

I just wanted to hank you for your posts and update you.

I called the EPU on Monday and said I'd had a dreadful experience at my scan on Saturday and they said I had every right to formally complain. The manager was lovely but really just read out over the phone what my notes said and what she could see on my scan. I asked if I could be scanned again that day and actually see the screen and she said I couldn't.

Even though my DH and I knew that another scan wasn't going to change things because of my anxiety I knew I would need to see things for myself before having the ERPC. So, crazy as it sounds, we went back to the private Dr we saw before and it was the best money I have spent. He took his time, talked us through things and made me feel 100% reassured that the pregnancy had not developed in over two weeks. He did say though that he offers his patients pessaries at such an early stage rather than an ERPC but I went ahead yesterday with the ERPC as I felt that for me it was the right thing to do.

I have to say the staff at the hospital were all wonderful and so far I've had very little bleeding - could that change and become heavier over the next few days? I felt quite positive about the future yesterday but maybe that was the general anaesthetic as feel a bit wobbly today but it's just going to take some time.

[sh77]

Hey
Sorry for your loss. I think you handled it brilliantly and it is good you had reasurrance. I read a story recently on another forum where a lady found out just before her erpc that her baby had actually grown. Re bleeding - mine was very light and di not get heavier. Period returned after 9 weeks but for most women it seems to be within 4-6 weeks.

[Boos75]

Thanks sh77. It's so hard to know what the right thing to do is but am pleased I did what worked best for me. Sorry for your loss too. Am not sure when it was but I do hope you're doing well.