How do you know you're ready to try again?

[stillfrazzled]

I mc'd really early - five days after BFP - on New Year's Day.

Was desperately upset for days, but now seem to have physical signs of ovulation, and really want to go for it.

I think I'm ready. I'm sad, but I think I've accepted that the mc happened and am ready to start over. I didn't want to mc and do want to be pg, so seems to make sense to me.

DH is concerned that I'm not ready emotionally and will be too frightened of something going wrong again. But I suspect I could wait three years and I'd still be a basket case, with years of broody hormones and fear that we'd left it too late (am almost 34) thrown in.

So how do you know? Don't want to collapse in a heap at some point because I haven't dealt with it, but I don't know how you know if you have...

[mermaidspurse]

I think you have answered it for yourself, it is so hard and we go round and round in circles.

You are right you would be a wobbly mess of worry about having another mc today, next month, 3 years down the road. The insecurity that mc brings will never lessen.

I mc for the 5th time just before Christmas and know definatley that I am giving up and counting my blessings with my ds.
Good luck.

[stillfrazzled]

Mermaids, thank you for the wise words, amd I'm so sorry to hear about all your losses.

[purlease]

I had a MC in April 2008. I was very keen to have a second baby and I was fast approaching 40 so I started trying again immediately. DS was born in April 2009 so I got pregnant 2 cycles after MC. I was very anxious about pregnancy and didn't make any public annoumcement until after 20 week scan - told immediate family after 12 weeks. Waiting longer won't necessarily make it any easier. I admit I was very lucky and having DS helps put MC behind me. You will know better than anyone else when you are ready to try again. Good luck.

[purlease]

BTW there are some good threads on here to help you get through MC - When I had mine I told very few 'real friends' so it was great to come on here and share emotions with other people who had gone through the same thing and get words of support and encouragement.

[sh77]

After my darling daughter passed away shortly after her birth, I was desperate to try again as soon as my post-natal bleeding stopped. It took me 3 cycles for my BFP but I had a MMC at 6 weeks and ERPC at 11 weeks (this was 8 weeks ago). All I know is that I am not ready to TTC because I don't feel strong enough physically. Also, I had an ultrasound yesterday which showed my lining to be 6mm - not thick enough for implantation. Not sure when my lining will be strong and thick, but I am giving myself 2 more months. Sorry, this does not answer your question! I just wanted to say that sometimes you just know when it isn't right.
In your case, an early MC is unlikely to have had any adverse physical effects on you.