PDG IVF Anyone?

[Daynee]

Hey ladies,
I was just wondering if any of you have had the pre-impantation genetic diagnosis IVF? It seems that after 4 miscarriages, this is my only option...that is, to have a baby that is both mine and my husbands. All tests have been normal and the last mc, I had a D&E which showed triploidy so the specialist thinks it's a genetic issue with either sperm or eggs.
Any thoughts or experiences would be helpful!

[OnlyWantsOneFartleBerry]

bumping for you - hope you get some answers

[kissmummy]

i don't know daynee - so sorry to hear you've had another. i just found out today i've had my fourth miscarriage too so we are in the same boat. remind me if you have DCs already?
i think PGD IVF is pretty readily available at good private fertility clinics and might be an option for you. it's good that the tests showed what was wrong... i don't know what triploidy is but i'm about to look it up!
i've been thinking of drastic options too, like surrogacy - it seems to me the only way I can have a baby which is genetically ours.my husband not keen on traditional adoption. i'm not sure i can go through another miscarriage, it might break me.

[Daynee]

kissmummy My dh is not keen on adoption either. I would consider it even though I really do want a child that is a union of both me and my dh. We don't need to do surrogacy because it is a genetic issue and not an issue where I can not carry the pregnancy. It's so frustrating. Like the doc said, our situation is more perplexing and frustrating than those who can't get pregnant at all because with us, a lot of times they never find out why !
It sucks and there's nothing much more I can say about it. This IVF will cost us a lot of money and we have to ask family, as my insurance does not cover it. But our options are, keep rolling the dice and have 5 or 10 more miscarriages? I think not!

[Daynee]

And just to add another thing - I've been feeling really angry that nobody seems to really understand. I know that I can't expect anyone to understand what I'm feeling but it's making me angry. "Well, you could try a sperm or egg donor...why not?" OR "You'll be fine. You'll have a baby." What do I say to this? Should I say, "Shut the hell up...you have no idea what you're talking about!" I just feel like there's no way to express this agony that I've been dealing with for the past 2 years because to everyone else, I try to put on a face of contentment. Occassionally I will let go and say how I feel but there are no words that can really communicate or make anyone understand.

[kissmummy]

the best thing someone said to me yesterday was "life's absolutely shit sometimes." That summed up how i felt at that moment and did not make me feel worse, which a lot of comments do. (eg a dear friend, meaning well, texted me to have "courage." i thought, f**?@! i don't want to have COURAGE! I am battered and broken and fed up of being courageous! don't tell me to have courage! but of course i didn't say anything and i know she meant well.
the truth is nobody can understand if they haven't been through it - if they haven't experienced that absolutely crushing misery as you lie there in yet another scan as yet another sonographer asks "are you sure of your dates" and you just KNOW it's bad news; or the sonographer spends ages looking around the screen and then sees "well, i can see a gestational sac/embryo/but i'm afraid there's no heartbeat." And you're lying there in the dark feeling like the world has ended, and this is the culmination of weeks, and weeks, and weeks, or months and months and months, or even years and years, of hoping, and waiting, and doing everything right, and having really crap sex just to get pregnant; and not drinking, not over exercising, not getting stressed etc etc etc and it's all for nothing. Nobody can understand that feeling unless they've been there, i don't think.

[Daynee]

Amen to that sister! I'd rather hear that life is just shit rather than, "Aww, everything will be fine..." AHHH Shut up! And yes, the waiting and trying and abstaining and waiting some more is absolute torture. How can we do this anymore? Yesterday a friend told me that a mutual acquaintance said she's pregnant and just feels horribly sad for me and my dh. I felt like saying, "She doesn't need to feel sorry for us, and she's a fat cow anyway." How terrible am I?

[1son3girls]

Daynee & kissmummy, I'm so sorry for both of you. Truely! I was able to have my one DS 20yrs ago (I was only 18) and since I was unlucky in love, I never had a chance for another. Now I'm VERY happily married and can't carry another. I desperately want another child even tho I'm 38.
I'm starting to investigate a GS now too as even if I could carry, I would be high risk. I did look at adoption and my DH is terrified the baby would be taken back.
If you both would, keep posting! There is a whole in my heart for the DB I never had.
I'm really wondering tho if there is a GS out there for us tho. We're non-practicing Christians and therefor it seems everyone only wants to help those who are... active. We just non-practicing - not heathens who eat our young!
Anyway, I do understand your hurt and anger. Just let me know how the GS hunt goes.
Finding the right woman is important! She's not just a baby-oven. It seems like some GS become close friends with the family. That seems strange to me because I'd never dream of asking my BFF to carry my child. Could you become so close to your GS that you would become BFF's?

[ac73]

Daynee,
So, so sorry to hear your news. I haven't posted for ages but check in occasionally to see how everyone is doing. I have a different name now but you might remember my story. My little boy (our first child) died from a genetic disease when he was 18 weeks old in 2005. Since then I've had 5 miscarriages and a termination because the baby had the same disease and would have died in the first six months of its life. We are currently under Guys awaiting PGD. Would be happy to answer any of your questions.

Can totally relate to all of your feelings.

Thinking of you.
Xxx