2mmcs-likely caused by chromosone probs-do I stand any chance of 3rd time lucky?

[beanie35]

My gp thinks (without fetal testing) that my 2 mmcs were highly likely to have been a chromosome defect. I have had blood tests for clotting, antibodies, etc all with no probs.

I have a child from my first marriage, the 2 mmcs were with my new partner. Do I stand a chance if this is the problem of ever having a full term pregnancy?? Gp told me just to go ahead and try,and didn't seem worried, but I am terrified of going through the heartache of an mc again. Anybody else had similiar problems?

[starkadder]

hi Beanie - of course you stand an excellent chance The Miscarriage Association and the Royal College of Obs and Gyn. both say that where they can't find anything wrong, the chances of you having a successful pregnancy are about 75% - so really not much more likely to MC again than if you never had MC at all. PLUS having a child already has to help the odds.

I had 2 MCs before my DS. Have just had a 3rd and in black moments also find myself terrified that I will never have another baby...terrified of the heartache of MC again....but the odds are that it will be OK. I have yet to have the tests though - waiting for lab results from last MC first, which is a bit depressing.

[beanie35]

Hi Stark, thank you so much for your reply. Im so sorry for your loses, I know what you mean about black moments, after a year mine are slowly becoming fewer and further apart, but it doesn't stop the fear.

I wish you all the best, thanks again.

[starkadder]

I made my husband read all the stats on the MC association and RCOG websites so that when I become irrationally miserable abot never having another baby, he can reassure me that it is much more likely that we WILL....

[PacificDogwood]

beanie, very sorry to hear about your losses.
Yep, the stats are hugely in your favour . Sometimes it can just be hard to find the strength to face the uncertainty again.
It is very likely that a lot of early MCs are due to chromosomal abnormlaties in the embryo, which are often down to chance but the risk of which can increase with age.
I was 33 when I had my first MMC and asked to have my and my DH's chromosomes tested then (policy in my hospital to have this done after 3 MCs). Turns out I carried a problem making MC and chromosomal abnormality much higher (about 1:4). I had a total of further 3 MMCs but none of them due to the recognised problem (we had embryonic tissue tested as well). The embryos had other problems, but nothing related to my condition. I also had 3 healthy DSs and am expecting No4 (son!!) so all's well that ends well - for me! I very much realise it could have been v different. I do wonder whether all the tests and anxiety and guilt were entirely necessary, or whether I'd have been better NOT knowing my individual risks, IYKWIM.
I have a friend who cannot conceive and at the end of the day I count myself lucky that at least I could become pregnant. And the rest is then in the lap of the gods!

Wishing you strength and very good luck. The odds are SO with you, it would be a shame not to take another gamble . Babymaking IS a lottery, IMO!!

[beanie35]

Thanks Pacific.

Its fantastic that despite all the heartache you have been through you are still so optimistic, and your right we are lucky just to be able to get pregnant in the first place (I cherish those few weeks of being pg before it goes wrong .

I also agree with you that sometimes you can know too much about conception. I was totally unfazed when I had my dd all those years ago, at 24 I didn't worry about anything, now in my late 30s I worry about everything!

Oh to be young and innocent when it comes to baby making again.

Thank you again.

[hopecharlotte123]

We lost our baby daughter we were so desperate for 5 weeks ago, I was 19 weeks I kept asking dr to listen to heartbeat as I sensed something wasn't right dr never found it 2 weeks running but reasured me I was fine but placenta was at front finally they scanned me and our baby had died approx 3 weeks earlier. For the last 3 years at the same time I have lost 3 babies at 10 weeks 6 weeks now 19. Im 40 now and feel like it will never happen for us now, my partner has no children I have a 15 and 9 year old from previous marriage. I feel like i am on automatic pilot just getting on with things when deep down im dead inside. My partner would like to try again and so would I but can't cope going through this again. I gave birth after being induced and found it worse than being full term and still had to have d&c as placenta wouldn't come out. when I went to hold our daughter I lost it and couldn't she was so tiny any very dark as she had died weeks ago. I have a picture which I kiss every day but feel so guilty for not holding her and kissing her, I was so spaced out with drugs as they gave me them too late to delivery I couldn't remember what she looked like so when I couldn't sleep after d&c i asked to hold her and she was ice cold, thats why I couldn't hold her now i feel so sad i didn't.
We are going to hospital on wednesday so hopefully we may get answers, they done an amnio before I gave birth, but placenta useless as it came out in bits and they couldn't do PM as she had died too long ago. I feels like the only cure for the pain is another baby but will it, I dont know, we called our precious daughter Hope Charlotte little Angel of Hope,so i suppose we should never give up hope for her.
Love to everyone going through the loss of a baby, and good luck for the future xx

[beanie35]

Thank you hope for your reply. I am so so sorry for your terribly sad losses. I think anyone would understand you being on autopilot at the moment, getting through each day is probably as much as you can cope with at this early stage of your grief.

What a beautiful name for your little girl.I completely understand your feelings of guilt about wishing you had held your daughter, but how could anyone be expected to think straight after such a devastating time. I held the tiny body of my first mc, and cuddled it briefly, but the second time I lost the baby it fell down the toilet (a thought which haunts me daily a year later). Like you I have a child from my previous marriage, but not with my current partner who is absoultely desperate for children. It has put a huge strain on both of us,especially as I have been very depressed by it all, but we seem to be getting stronger again now.

I really hope you get some positive answers on wednesday,and I wish you love and best wishes for the future. Take care of yourself.