beanie, thanks for coming back to update. Once again, am really sorry for your loss. Take it easy, take time off if you need/want it. I'm glad they were able to answer your questions and that you're feeling some relief now. Wishing you the best when you decide to try again.

beanieb - thank you for coming back and updating your situation. Mine is still in limbo. Waiting to miscarry. I am now 8weeks3days.

I went for the scan, which after a week showed the scan a week smaller rather than bigger (now showing at 5weeks 2days rather than 6weeks1day). But I had stopped bleeding, so I was no longer miscarrying naturally.

I had blood tests @ 7weeks 6days hcg was 1024, at 8weeks1day (eg 48hours later) the level had reduced to 840. So my body is not miscarrying like it should do as the levels should have halved in the 48hours.

I am still slightly spotting some red blood, but no cramps and just waiting for the inevitable to happen.

I have to go back on monday for another blood test to check that the levels are reducing and then they will decide whether or not to scan me again.

I am still hoping I will lose this pregnancy naturally, rather than having to take the medical route. But I am just taking one day at a time. The hardest bit is that I still feel very pregnant with nausea, tiredness etc. But at least I know now that it is the hormones reducing not increasing, so I am not thinking it will produce a baby. Although I suppose there is a small section of my brain that hopes for a miracle that the doctors are wrong!

sorry - that should be I am almost into my 9th week.

Hi all,

I thought I would update you on what has happened not least because it may be helpful for anyone else going through the same thing.

Went for the second scan today at the Early pregnancy unit. They didn't have my notes so had no proper idea of why I was there which was annoying but they were all very lovely to me and once I had explanied that I was fully expecting to be told that it is a non-viable pregnancy they were very straight with me which I prefered.

The scan showed the pregnancy measuring at just over 6 weeks (I am almost 9 weeks now) and there was no heartbeat. The Yolk sac had gone but they could see a small mass which they say was probably the beginings of the foetus. They say it's not a molar pregnancy nor a blighted ovum, just a missed miscarriage of a foetus which has not developed. They couldn;t se any bleeding in my uterus but say that if the previous scan showed some then it's possible that it has been absorbed into my body.

Was asked if I wanted to let it happen naturally as that is an option but I asked them to talk me through the medical management and then decided to go ahead with that. They had to give me the pill there and then as legally they have to administer it on the premises, so that was a bit of a shock as I had thought I could take it home and have a think about it for a while. Before I took it I had to sign a consent form and I double checked with them that there was no way at all this pregnancy could survive. I now have to take a course of anti-biotics and insert 4 pessaries in sunday and then wait. They also took blood to test my blood type and iron levels.

Everyone was very lovely and they let me ask loads of questions and gave me all the answers I was seeking.

So it's done more or less and all I can do now is wait. Am quite relieved in a way as it draws a line under it all and I can now look forward and think about trying again once I get the miscarriage over with.

Best wishes to anyone else going through this and I wish you all the luck in the world.

Thank you again for your support.

Hi Beanie - So sorry you having to go through this. Just wanted to say that I had no bleeding or anything when I went for my scan at 7 + 3 and was expecting it all to be ok, then they said teh baby was too small and that the heartbeat was very weak - so to come back in a week. Which I did and then there was no heartbeat.

From the first scan it was nearly two weeks (13 days actually) until the MC happened. I went to work the whole time, then I had a week off after, I actually went in on the Thursday after it happened on the Sun, but had to take Fri off as kept crying... This was about 2 motnhs ago.

I hope you have good news on Fri xx

Hi, sorry I missed these messages.

I went back to work yesterday and it was fine. I think All my crying is over with now after an awful weekend of self-pity and stress.

My work mate has also had a miscarriage so we went for a coffee and a chat which was nice.

Still no bleeding and I can't help cling on to a bit of hope for Friday's scan even though I know it will be bad news.

Rainbowdays, good luck for the scan today. I hope you have positive news. thank you for the links.

How is everyone else?

beanieb - so sorry you are going though this, I am currently 7+5, but 90% convinced I m/c'd last week due to bleeding and cramps and everything. I have had 3 previous m/c's at 5 weeks and they were like normal periods, infact one was even lighter than a normal period!. But last week I had a heavy and crampy period, but it was just like a horrible period, and I have had worse when I was younger.

I have been finding this website useful for information on what people experienced with miscarriages, and this other website good for information too.

I am going for another scan tomorrow to find out if I have definitely miscarried or not.

beanieb, just wondering how you're doing today? Are you going to work tomorrow?

I was told that it may be painful and to take something like Ibrufen if it was. This was the IVF/fertility unit.

When I called them yesterday they said I was now in the hands of the EPU so I called them and they were lovely but offered no advice about what to do if I do start bleeding.

I'm just so confused because the nurses seemed to be giving me the impression that it was almost certainly going to be a miscarriage but like you have said they have given me very little information apart that it will be soon (I have since read it can take weeks) and that they could see bleeding on the scan - though I still have not bled at all.

Thank you so much for scanning these in for me. I hope that your own situation is not too painful.

beanie, I've been thinking of you. I am also still waiting for things to happen with me and was initially hoping nature would kick in before I had to make medical decisions. I understand how you feel about not wanting company - I haven't actually told anyone what's happened and am not sure I ever will be able to.

I was given a leaflet of information on my options but only got myself into a state of mind to read it last night.

There are advantages and disadvantages for all. I've decided to opt for the surgical procedure (if nothing happens which I'm sort of hoping it won;t happen now) because it seems like the other two options might result in needing the surgical at the end anyway. I'm figuring I just want it over and done with with least trauma as possible at this stage, and I don't want to take the chance I end up being one of those who ends up with the rough end of the experience - I've had enough emotional upheaval and misery now and just want to move on as quickly as possible.

beanie, were you advised, if it starts and you can't manange the pain or if the bleeding is extremely heavy to get yourself down to A&E or call the early pregnancy unit straight away? I was given this advice when I left... it concerns me that you seem to have been given no useful guidance at all - makes me angry, actually.

I've scanned in the leaflet for you to read - it's three-fold and I've scanned it flat so you have to read the panels in order. I hope this helps.

Front of leaflet - read far right panel first

Back of leaflet - read all three panels second, then jump back to above link to finish

beanie, I completely understand you not wanting people around, and very much agree that if you don't want them there it's okay to say 'thanks, but I really want to be on my own'. You're putting up a protective shell, and that can be good, because even the most well meaning and caring of people will say things that hit you wrong and aren't helpful. Though nothing anyone can say at this point is helpful really. Even my DH, who was devastated by my MC, said things that made me sad/angry/disappointed in him for not quite 'getting it'.

When I had my MC, they gave me a leaflet from the Miscarriage Association. All their leaflets are on their website, so you could go and read some of those here. There is one that talks about management, so it might be helpful.

beanie this is such a hard time waiting
you need to do what is best for you no one else so if you don't want to see anyone don't
I remember my mum and dad being with me for one mc when dh was away and I just felt exhausted by the putting on a brave face and trying to comfort them in retrospect I would have been better on my own with ds
look after yourself be kind to yourself {hugs} andiex

sorry but I am going to have to be self-indulgent and post stuff.

It still hasn't happened yet and no signs I have only had 4 hours sleep and I am just fed up wit the waiting. My friend who is 24ish weeks pregnant mailed me to see if she could come round to see if I am ok but there is nothing in the world I want less. My mum wants to come round later but I just want to be on my own. When people are here I feel like I have to put on a brave face and it's just so tiring for me.

It's really so hard to not know when it's going to happen or what it will be like.

The clinic said they would give me leaflets after the scan but then they decided not to and I don't know why. Maybe they thought there was a chance I didn't need them? MAybe because I didn't cry there they didn't think I needed the support?

I think the natural mc carries far less risk of infection than an ERPC. There is no impact on fertility, esp if it happens naturally - I conceived again within 4 months.

You will be fine - The waiting for it will probably be worse than the actual event. Hope it is over for you soon.

Is there a risk of infection or a risk to my future fertility if I just wait it out and miscarry naturally? I'm really quite scared.

Hi beanieb - so sorry you are going through this. I had a mmc at the same gestation as you last year. There was no HB and the sac was much smaller than it should have been.

Basically my mc was like a bad period, def not worse. I had 3 days off work whilst bleeding and managed on just paracetamol and bedrest with a hot water bottle on my belly. I didn't pass much in the way of clots, more like a period in terms of bleeding, but I did see what I assume was the sac (about 50p size)

It was good to get back to work but I was very tearful for the first week. Be kind to yourself - you might find the tears creep up on you when you are not expecting it.

Perhaps they are right to wait and want to give your body a week or so to mc naturally before intervening.

CE xxx

PS. I don't know if this will help at all but the lovely lovely mw at our EPU said (admid my tears) that at least I now knew that I could become pg - we had been trying for a while. It was a little comfort to me- helped me to think positive that if it happened once it would happen for us again!

I have called the early pregnancy unit to ask if they can do some hormone tests. They say they will put my scan forward to the Friday (12th) rather than 15th but no mention of hormone tests. No one seems able to tell me anything about the bleeding in my uterus. I am supposed to be going away on the 24th June so don't really want to have to wait until after 15th to start the medical miscarriage process as it may mean I am still bleeding while away and just miserable. Sooner I can get it done the better really.

Still clinging on to a small hope, I just can't help myself. I wish I would just naturally miscarry this week instead but here's no way of knowing how long my body will try to hold onto this pregnancy and I have read it could go on for weeks if they don't give me the tablets.

BeanieB - sorry no real advice as my only "M/C" was at about 4 weeks (so technically a "chemical preganancy") but it actually involved lots of clots and some tissue and was not enjoyable. So I can only imagine it gets much worse later . Like with others the cramps and backached stopped just at the time the clots started.

But I did want to say how totally gutted I am for you. Its really a horrible thing to happen after wanting this for so long and life is very unfair. Please be kind to yourself.

Thanks JustShaggy I will try to keep updating too as it does help to be able to talk about it. Have also been out and stocked up on pads. It's all just so shit really Can understand the shock too.

Claire thank you again. One thing I really don't want is to be still waiting to miscarry in a weeks time so I thin I am going to call the fertility clinic and ask for an earlier scan.

My SIL to be has been through something similar and suggests I call the early pregnancy unit as they are better at knowing what is going on.

beanie, I just wanted to repeat what I said on our conception thread, how very sorry I am.

When I mc'd the scans showed that there had been no development since around 5 weeks. I did not know until the spotting started at 9 weeks plus. So maybe them saying the bleeding will start soon may not be accurate? I don't know if mine was a blighted ovum or not, I just never asked.

Don't rush back to work unless you want to. I told my (male) boss and he was very supportive - I m/c'd on holiday and took a further week off as mentally I couldn't deal with things although physically I was fine.

I am very sorry that you had such a crap experience, it seems, from others, too common.

Also, flappybitsoskin and JustShaggy, I'm so very sorry that you're both going through the same thing.

beanieb, I don't know - the one resource that costs the NHS nothing is kindness. I have experienced kindness recently but sad to say more often than not I feel as if I am just a box that has been checked when I encounter the system. Tactlessness and insensitivity in such frightning situations are a form of an abuse of power as far as I am concerned.

I don't know if this is any consolation but I specifically asked the nurse at epu about my age and everything and she said they see lots of women far older than us and not to give up hope. Also, a friend of a friend just gave birth to her third at age 46 and her other two were conceived over 40 as well .... so it happens.

I'm still in a state of shock, as I am sure you are too. Just got back from buying maternity pads and really hoping nature will step in to spare me more encounters with medical side of things. Not sure what the emotional impact of next few days will be - right now feel stunned and in shock - but will try come back and share what happens in the hope it helps others as they have helped me. Hoping you'll be ok - truely truely sorry... x

beanieb, I have no wise words, but remember you from the disability thread. I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope you are cared for well. Take one day at a time x

hello JustShaggy

so sorry to hear you are going through this too. It is so hard not to cling onto hope that they might be wrong. The second nurse I saw seemed pretty certain that I will Miscarry.

So sorry to hear about your stupid doctors. I was very angry with the woman who did my scan because she was completely tactless and argued with me about my dates, trying to tell me I was 9 and a half weeks despite me telling her that my last period was on the 13th April and then tried to explain away her mistake by saying she thought I had said the 30th which would have made me 5 weeks not 9 1/2 so made absolutely no sense!

I am 39 and it's been a long hard emotional slog to get to this point so am very disapointed and scared that this is also my last chance.

Hope that you and I get over this and do carry on to be successful.

xx

hi beanieb and flappybitsoskin, I'm in the same situation. Just got back from scan which my GP rushed a booking for because this morning I had dark brownish red clots No cramps though.

I've been told the baby died at 6 weeks. No heartbeat. I should be ten weeks along.

beanieb - I also have to go for another scan. It was explained to me that this is because at 6 weeks the baby is so small that there is a chance they sometimes can't see a heartbeat. If I had my dates wrong, then the second scan would show further growth. Even though I am 100% certain of my dates (which led them to say I should have no false hope about second scan showing anything different) they have strict protocal to follow. Would be terrible if they offered people procedures and they were wrong.

Like you, I have no idea what to expect so I'm glad you started this thread. First pregnancy and totally clueless about the whole pregnancy thing generally. In fact, my experience has been just awful and find accessing information from medical staff a joke - it's all paper-led and not person-led. Lurking on mumsnet has been so much more helpful - the practical advice here on pads and things... thank you for that.

I'm terrified about the pain I might have and both procedure options seem horrible.

I am also very very very angry. I phoned NHS 24 and the midwife at EPU this am and both said dark brownish red blood is old blood and not to worry about. But seems from you're saying in this thread that that is not strictly true - that browny blood can be ominous. It was only my DH insisting on calling our (thankfully cautious) GP who got me the scan - everyone else said 'wait and see'. Otherwise I may have only found out at my 12 week scan (assuming I got one at 12 weeks). It's so cruel.

But the worst of my anger is because I was sick with really bad UTI at about time baby died. I knew I was sick but it took me 5 days to get an appointment with GP because of STUPID next day booking system and then another seven days for test results to come back - so 12 days of severe sickness at critical time before I started being treated.

I know one can't say what caused it, but nurse at EPU said UTI's can raise body temperature and that can affect things and it was critical time. I'm 38 - could have been my only chance. I'm just so damn frustrated and angry and in shock and hurt and lacking confidence in the system right now. I'm not British and have no family near by which is also hard. Reading the support here has been helpful so thanks for those who are sharing their experiences. x.

sorry me again.

I am confused about what is wrong, is it a blighted ovum if they could see a yolk sac?

glad you are feeling a bit better beanie take care of yourself {hugs}

thank you everyone and flappybitsoskin so sorry you are going through this today too.

Have had a good cry and am now just preparing myself. Everyone sharing their experience has been really kind and helpful and I'm not in such a panic now, just resigned to it happening. I think I will wait and see for now.

Thank you all again.

i didn't want to wait, i had ERPC too. however i know they sometimes offer a second scan if you're very very early into pregnancy and they just want to make sure.

Agree with flappy, there is probably no 'better', only what is best for you. I feel like I got lucky in a way because it all went so fast for me. If I'd had to wait I'd think I'd have probably asked for the ERPC to feel more in control of the situation (as in knowing exactly when it was happening and how long I had to wait). But maybe they don't tend to do those at this stage? On the other had, I think you can stay home with the medication and it's not as risky. Sorry, I'm not being much help here.

Beanie so sorry to see your news I have had 3mcs
2 missed and I opted for a ERPC both times I just felt I wanted it to be over asap iyswim
they were both done under general as a daycase so I went home almost immediately I then had heavy bleeding for about a week
take carex

don't think there is any 'better' really. I've had 2 natural mc (1 just like heavy period, the other somewhat more unpleasant), 1 with pill (quite intense pains a bit like labour but then 'out' in quicker and more complete way) This time I want the surgery. There are risks to it - as with any surgical procedure - but for me I'd rather and have it all over and done with without me having to see / feel any of it

Because I have had no bleeding whatsoever and am about to go into what I think will be my 9th week (on Sunday I will be 8 Weeks) I am wondering if I should just ask them to deal with it for me? I was told if I don't miscarry naturally before the scan on 15th then they would give me a pill to take to start the miscarriage. Would I be better getting it done another way?

oh beanie

I've come straight into work after scan. Not exactly doing lots but I feel better being here. Do whatever you feel most comfortable with.

Hi beanieb

I'm in this situation. My LMP was 30th march. However earlier scans did show a heartbeat, but the dates weren't adding up - I was getting more behind on my dates. I knew this wasn't a good sign (I have v high risk of mc due to a chromosome re-arrangement I have)Today scan shows no heartbeat. They got other people in to check and did internal scan also.

I'm relieved tbh - was stressing far more about cvs and possible termination. Obviously I would have prefer to be carrying healthy, viable baby but I obviously wasn't so all things considered I'm ok with this.

I've chosen to have erpc on tues. I really don't want to prolong this any further. If this wasn't what I'd chosen, doc said they'd want to see me next week. Think the longer it goes on with no natural mc the more inclined they are then to suggest intervention

Had a little bleed last tues but nothing has happened since.

Wishing you all the best

I'm a bit confused about what I have to be honest, from what I have read it seems like a blighted ovum but that was not mentioned.

The woman who did my scan was awful - she said I was 9 and a half weeks pregnant when I said my last period started on 13th April. When I pointed out that this wasn't possible she argued with me and then asked me to repeat the date to which she said 'oh I thought you said 30th April' which made absolutely no sense as that would have made me much less than 9 and a half weeks. She then said something like 'i'm not seeing the heartbeat very well' so I asked 'do you mean very well or not at all' and she replied 'I can't see a heartbeat'!

I was so angry at her incompetence that I didn'[t cry, infact I only cried after getting home by which time I had spoken to my sister, mum, best friend and work mate and not cried once! I was that angry!

We saw the yolk sac but am pretty certain that there was nothing in there. No mention was made of fetal pole.

I am scared now that I will have to wait weeks for any bleeding and that my body will just carry on thinking I am pregnant.

Do you think this is unlikely seeing as they have seen some blood inside?

Very sorry for your loss. I don't know if my experience will help, but here goes, just in case:

I had a scan at 6+5 where there was a heartbeat, but was told the sac was smaller than it should be and to come back in 10 days for a repeat scan. Found a scientific journal article saying that this was a very good predictor of miscarriage (really wish they would have told me this at the scan).

Two days later (7+0) I had some period-like cramps but nothing particularly bad. The following day (7+1) it seemed ok until the afternoon, when I started getting brown streaks on wiping and worse cramping (enough that I wanted to lie down). This went on for a few hours. When my DH got home at 6pm, he phoned the EPU where I'd had the scan and they said to come in. By the time we got there 30 minutes later I had started to bleed red and had gone through my trousers (still like a heavy period at this point).

We were put in a little room with an examining table for a while. I was having cramps and just remember a lot of waiting. Soon I had to pee, and they said I should use a cardboard pan over the toilet in case anything came out. Basically there was a lot of blood (more than you'd get with a period), some large clots (bigger than ones from a period), and something that I have to assume was the sac with the baby inside. It was sort of opaque grey with a little lump in the middle.

After this the cramping eased off somewhat, though I was still bleeding like a period. They examined me and said I still had some tissue inside, but it looked like it would pass soon. I passed one more big clot the following day (around 4cm, looked like a piece of liver), and after than bled like a heavy period for about 5 days. For the first 36 hours after or so, I was wearing the ginormous pads the hospital provided, but after that regular maxi pads were fine.

From what I've read of others' experiences, it all went pretty fast for me. I didn't need any management at all, but some do need medication or a minor surgical procedure if things do not happen on their own.

Hope this was helpful, and once again, really sorry this has happened. It really knocks you back, I know.

thank you. I am guessing I should take time off work? Have not gone in today but feel at a loss and don't know what to do with myself. Was planning on just going back in tomorrow

hi beanieb

so sorry to hear you news.

i recently had a mmc back in may i should have been 9weeks + but the bean had stoped growing at 6weeks. had funny discharge, but no blood and asked for a scan as this was odd, as i already have 2 DD's and nothing like this before.

i had no idea what to expect, the doc explain what options were available to me natural, ERPC or pesseraies. we decided to go down the natural route, he still booked me in for the erpc in a weeks time in case nothing had happen.

the scan was on the thurs and i started spotting the next day this continue until monday night when i started to bleed properly, it was like a very heavy period but with more pain( it we be different for everyone) i imagined that it was going to be 10x worst that a period to prepare myself most of the pregnancy came out with in the first two nights and then bled for another week.

I advise you to have lots of pads ones that are for heavy periods or use maternity pads, i was not told about what to use etc so i'm passing on this bit of info.

the miscarriage association has lots of info miscarriageassociation.org.uk

hope this helps abit, my thoughts are with you.

Oh I'm so sorry I've been through this twice now, so can well imagine how you are feeling. I'll describe my experiences so you are prepared, but My mc's have been earlier and later than yours, so I'm not sure how heavy your bleeding will be

- at 5+5, I just had one finger sized clot and a normal AF.

At 11+5, I had a gush of waters and then lots of clots resulting in an A&E visit because of extreme blood loss. Once discharged, I had to stay in bed for 2 days as activity made the blood loss too rapid again.

I am guessing that you will be somewhere in between. I think most times the bleeding will start off slow, so there is no reason to stay in - in fact being active might help it along as I can imagine the waiting is horrid.

Both mine started with a feeling of being really really bloated and an insatiable thirst, then brown blood for a few hours. With red blood came strong AF like cramps and backache.

With the later MC, I have waves of cramps and when they reached their peak, I passed clots and the pain eased. With hindsight, I'm guessing these may have been mini contractions and for a few days afterwards, I felt like I had lots of pulled muscles in my abdomen. I don't think you will get this though.

Tips -
Get in a stock of maternity pads and Always ultra night time pads and keep some with you when out and about, along with a change of undies.

Keep well hydrated and eat iron rich foods - I was badly anaemic for a while afterwards

Keep paracetamol and ibuprofen to hand - I've never needed anything more than that combination and hopefully it will work for you.

If your bleeding is heavy and you are filling a pad in 30 mins or less, speak to an EPU and they may advise you to come in for monitoring.

Hormones - be kind to yourself as they will be all over the place - cry, eat choc, lounge on the sofa and make sure you are looked after. You will think you are getting over it, only for the hormones to dip again and you may have another sad day - it is natural and you just have to ride it out and know it gets better.

Do a PG test every week after the bleeding stops till you get a BFN, so you don't potentially confuse new and old pregnancies.

I hope it is quick and painless for you - if they can see bleeding already, then hopefully it will be over with soon.

This site really helped me

Hi there. Am wondering if anyone can explain to me what I should expect.

I had an early scan today at 7 +5 weeks and was told there is no heart beat and that they sould see some bleeding.

I have not bled at all since I found out I was pregnant but they say I should expect to start bleeding in the next few days and it may be heavier than usual.

I am gutted but also worried by the fact that I have no idea when to expect it to happen.

Please, does anyone have any experience/advice about what I should expect they didn't give me any leaflets because they said they were booking me in for another scan in 11 days time but that I might bleed before then, so I have no clue what to expect.

TIA