2 miscarriages, now an ectopic any hope?

(27 Posts)
MrsFooty Fri 17-Apr-09 16:52:10

that's it really.

Does anyone have any positivity for me, really starting to give up hope. The surgeon told me not to stop trying and that people with my case history can go on to have children, but as that was before the surgery, I think that might have been partly cos they needed me to stop crying so they could get me on the bed.

I used to think that a blighted ovum discovered at 12 wks was the cruelest thing mother nature could throw at me boy was I wrong.

I am glad to be alive, as I was bleeding into my abdomen (that's why they took my tube) apparently that could have been fatal. But I just need to know if it's time to give up?

Sorry for the self pitying wallowing, but still recovering as didn't get discharged until nearly midnight - was adamant I wasn't staying overnight.

P

fizzpops Fri 17-Apr-09 19:22:37

My friend had a miscarriage then an ectopic pregnancy followed by at least one mc and now has a beautiful little boy aged 2.5 mths so it is possible smile

Her first baby would have been due 2.5 years before her DS was born so it took her a while and she went through a lot to get him. I guess it is up to you to decide how much you can take physically and emotionally.

fizzpops Fri 17-Apr-09 19:23:45

I think the ectopic also meant she had a fallopian tube removed as well - didn't want to quiz her too much.

Habbibu Fri 17-Apr-09 19:25:28

Don't know if Aitch is around, but she's had 2 ectopics, followed by two spectacularly lovely dds. Be gentle on yourself, take time to recover - it's all so raw for you just now. I've had 2 very different losses - one anencephaly, and one partial molar pg, and also have a brilliant, bright 2 yo dd in between. It can be a very hard road to travel, but there will be many hopeful stories for you.

fizzpops Sat 18-Apr-09 07:26:30

My friend took time out after her ectopic pregnancy to just enjoy travelling and socialising (I think she was advised to wait for a certain period of time before trying again). Then she concentrated on eating and exercising properly to make sure her body was in the best condition possible. I think it was her way of using the time productively and made her feel as if she was doing something rather than just waiting for the time to pass.

SmilingEi Sat 18-Apr-09 07:33:39

hi

so sorry to hear about your lossessad
i have had 3 MCs myself and i have a gorgeous DD who is 3. iknow of a lady on here who has had 2MCs and 2 ectopics and she has a DD and is now pregnant with number 2 and all is going well. there is still hope! never give up on what you want as you never know what is around the cornersmile
xx ei xx

Maybebaby76 Sat 18-Apr-09 08:53:26

Hi MrsFooty

Not that this is much comfort but I have had 2 mc's and have been told that my current pregnancy may be ectopic.

After a heavy bleed and severe cramps I assumed that another mc had occured but my hormone levels keep doubling and so I am due for another scan next week.

Scared stupid and feel in such limbo I am not sure how I am supposed to be feeling.

Family and friends are being very positive and I am trying too as, after reading so many threads on Mumsnet, it seems as if even though we feel like it will never happen they are some amazing stories out there where women have gone on to have successful pregnancies.

I'm waffling now but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and that hopefully one day, after lots of tlc, it will be our turn too.

Take Care x x x

Maybebaby76 Sat 18-Apr-09 08:55:34

Just to add, the women here are such a life line and I want to thank you all for the support you have given over this journey smile

MrsFooty Sat 18-Apr-09 10:17:22

Oh Maybe you poor thing I though mine was awful but at least I went for the scan and it was all sorted that day, I don't know how you are coping with a wait. I really hope it turns out better for you.

Thank you all for your messages I do feel a lot better mentally now than I did yesterday, just pathetically scared of it happening again. But my Doc has said she'll refer me to consultant so I can start the testing etc and see if there is a reason for all this crap happening.

As soon as I am told I can get fit again that is the plan to get healthy and fit so next time I am in the best shape I can be to have a healthy cute bump! I am convinced I have put on 1/2 a stone with each MC. So back to dieting and running.

hettie Sat 18-Apr-09 16:43:47

hi there-
So sorry you're goign through this- tis crap.
I had an ectopic, lost a tube and concieved my ds within 2 months of being allowed to try (we were told to wait 3 months). We are now trying for no 2 and got pregers after 7 months (not bad- but it has been a long wait). Unfortunatley this one is a miscarriage (but was not another ectopic). I guess what I am saying is that, the tube loss doesn't mean you can't get pregers. My time to concieve and miscarriage is more likely my age (I am 35).
With my ds, mentaly in my head I had written off getting preg for a year, then thought after that time I might start to get concerned- this helped me not get stressed....
Good luck
x

OracleInaCoracle Sat 18-Apr-09 16:53:49

oh sweetheart, im sorry that you have gone through this. its truly shite and i wish i could say soemthing to make you feel better. i have had 8 mc's and 1 ep, i too lost a tube, but had some pretty severe complications (nothing really to do with surgery, during my cs they displaced my bladder) i know that at the moment everything looks pretty bleak, and thats v normal. you are mourning AND recovering from surgery. have a look at the EPT site. it is fab and v supportive.

i know of at least one woman on here who conceived from her tubeless side and many more who have had ep's (some multiple) and gone on to have more lo's.

in the meantime get as much rest as you can, talk as much as you want (on here and/or in rl)

OracleInaCoracle Sat 18-Apr-09 16:55:26

oh, and when you have your follow up appointment make sure you ask the cons what will be done in future pg's re blood testing/early scans etc.

MrsHappy Sat 18-Apr-09 20:00:20

Yes, you should have hope.

I had an ectopic last March (treated with drugs, so had to wait 3 months to try again), a CP in July and then another ectopic in September. With the second ectopic I lost a tube.

We were told to wait 3 months after the surgery before ttc, which we didn't because I felt ok. And then in January this year I conceived again. This was after I went to a private clinic and had some tests done to give me confidence that my remaining tube was ok.

Also, both of my ectopics were in the right tube but the eggs that became the ectopics came from the left ovary. This baby came from my right ovary (i.e. on my tubeless side). The body is terribly clever. I am sure that one Mumsnetter conceived twins with only one tube, so incredible things do happen.

Just go easy on yourself, take your time to get better. An ectopic is one hell of a shocking event, but you will feel better in time.

svy Sun 19-Apr-09 20:28:11

I'll tell you my story - there is always hope.

I tried to get pregnant for years but nothing happened so after loads of tests and exploritory ops done I had IVF. First one was abandoned second time I got pregnant and sailed through it and was lucky enough to have a lovely DS.

Couldn't cope with any more treatment so decided to call it a day at one. Next thing I knew I was pregnant and an early scan showed twins! Unbelievable but I lost one at 6weeks and 1 at 8 weeks. I was devastated, thought it would never happen again. Took months to recover from the shock. One year later I was pregnant again, but it was a blighted ovum. Was told to wait three months and got pregnant again straight away. Sailed through this pregnancy and have a lovely DD now. I am very blessed but it took twelve years to get here and many times I thought I would never get there. Please don't give up hope, most people have problems of one sort or another.

Koochy Mon 20-Apr-09 14:35:33

svy is right - there is always hope.

I conceived 3 years ago but it was an ectopic pregnancy, I lost a tube and was extremely traumatised. I truly think that it will stay with me forever, it was shocking and brutal. I was desperate to be pregnant again and within 3 months I was. This time a missed miscarriage. After the ectopic it was actually a relief to be a 'normal' m/c but was still distraught. It then took 1 year to conceive again, and again I miscarried. I then went and had every test known to man and no problem was found, so 12 months later we confidently undertook IUI. Fell pregnant, m/c a few weeks later.

After the last m/c last summer I changed path. I went to a fertility nutritionist, and took up yoga and meditation, all last October only. I fell pregnant in December and am now 20 weeks with a healthy viable pregnancy. I am spectacularly anxious of course, but the fact is, this baby is coming and I never believed that with 1 tube and 4 pregnancies lost I would be able to say that.

Take solace, your time will come. Do not give up! Try something new and be kind to yourself.

xx

MrsFooty Wed 22-Apr-09 09:30:59

Thank you all for your support, I feel so much more positive, bit scared of it happening again, but feel that if the consultant can't find a problem we will keep trying. Just waiting for the referal/appt and we will see what happens.

I am going to get us both a lot more healthier, but other than that I think we are doing all we can.

Good Luck to all.

P

svy Wed 22-Apr-09 14:48:58

Koochy is so right! Your time will come.

I had that phrase said to me so many times while I was trying to have my family and I didn't believe it would ever happen. But it did and it will be well worth the wait. Try to distract yourself with something else - easy to say I know! After my second m/c I got into the gym and got really fit. It was the last thing I wanted to do but it stopped me thinking about it all the time and I was ready for pregnancy when it did happen.

Fingers crossed for you

xx

welshone51 Thu 11-Jun-09 20:22:31

Hi I have only just saw your message sorry its late but I feel the need to reply, I have a positive story regarding an ectopic pregnancy, I had a double ectopic pregnancy carrying twins 2 1/2 years ago, I lost both babies ( one was in the womb, one in the tube) and I was treated using a drug called methotrexate ( not sure of the spelling)
I had a spell in hospital and was told that my risks of having another ectopic pregnancy were higher than someone who hasnt had one and my chances of getting pregnant were slightly reduced.
However within 2 1/2 months I was pregnant again ( I was a bit naughty and should have waited longer!) but the pregnancy was problem free and my little boy was born 9 months later. There is light at the end of the tunnel never give up!!

juliet2 Sat 13-Jun-09 09:12:35

my daughter as just ad her 2nd miscarrage both at 5 wk an 3 days,she wants to know her blood group as im rhesus neg and needed anti d with my 2nd pregnancy.if she is rhesus neg and her boyfriend is pos could this be the reason why she is miscarrying.

BionicleBill Sat 13-Jun-09 09:16:00

Oh sweetheart sad

Yes, there is hope. My friend had two miscarriages and then lost a tube to an ectopic.

She then had IVF which failed, and eventually had a second round and it was successful - she now has a little boy smile

I wish you luck

BionicleBill Sat 13-Jun-09 09:17:04

Sorry, old message, I didn't realise - hope it helps someone though x

MrsFooty Tue 16-Jun-09 19:30:15

It's great to hear positive stuff whenever !

I am now seeing consultant about recurrent mc. When I next get pregnant I have been promised scans on demand baby aspirin and progesterone. I am booked in for blood tests in the next week so at least I should know soon if there is a simple reason for my problems or just really bad luck.

P

daisyj Tue 16-Jun-09 19:36:04

I just saw this on active convos and wanted to wish you luck. A friend of mine had an ectopic followed by two mcs very close together - she now has a lovely 10-month-old boy (in her case it was just terribly bad luck). As others have said, don't give up! It sounds as though you are doing all the right things in terms of investigating, and it's great that you are having some support from a consultant. All the very best. xx

moanyhole Mon 22-Jun-09 06:36:49

hi mrs footy,
i have had an ectopic and lost my left tube, i also miscarried the ectopic's twin. i then went on to have ds. i had two more miscarriges before having dd. so yes there certainly is hope, dont give up.hugs to you.
xx

oliveoil123 Tue 09-Nov-10 11:39:05

All the best for future trying. Ive just had an ectopic pregnancy and tube removed last week and am recovering at home. It amamzing how long it takes to recoever from these things. Im pretty shook up to be honest. My husband is really destraught about loosing the baby and wants to try as soon as possible. Im scared though and would like time to heal first and get really fit like people have been saying. Im 36 though and have no other children so i really dont know how things are goin to go and i dont have that much time to spend getting over this operation. I have one tube left though but they were unable to confirm whether this one was open or not and it would take further investigations to find out.This means another horrid operation. But I guess im still early days yet so im sure things will be fine in the end.

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