"Natural" miscarriage - what were you told to expect and did it help?

(37 Posts)
Gentle Fri 27-Mar-09 21:22:11

Only fair to say this might be hard for anyone to read who might be in the middle of a threatened miscarriage.

I have been reading through some messages here and am astonished about how many women who manage miscarriage at home are told it will be "like a heavy period" and then experience something more like labour & childbirth.

This happened to me too, 3 years ago now at 16 weeks pg. I remember sitting at home about 36 hours into it thinking, "These pains are coming regularly. I think I might be going into labour." 24 hours followed during which we kept phoning various healthcare providers and being told that unless I was haemorraging (and how do 2 laypersons determine this exactly?) there was no need for intervention. although eventually they did write a prescription for some Tramadol for my pain, which DH collected from the chemist. Shortly before I had the baby I remember wailing to DH, "I can't believe we're dealing with this on our own." I'd always thought that losing a baby, particularly after the first 3 months, was something that an ambulance came and carried you off for.

For myself, I wish someone had said, "It will be like labour, but probably without the pushing. You might see x,y, and z." I think pain relief should be offered early too, rather than begged for in the final throes.

Finally, I had a toddler to look after at the time. I thought I would just need a hot water bottle and some chocolate, but my poor little girl saw me in some distress before my husband left work and a babysitter finally was arranged.

What do others think? Was it better to go into miscarriage not knowing how it would be, or would you have preferred for someone to be more honest with you?

Joolsiam Tue 24-Nov-09 23:26:54

I mc'ed at 11+5 last November (and have mc'ed since at 5+5).

The one last year was traumatic and scary - I went to A&E after speaking to the midwives - uncontrollable bleeding out and clots for around 4 hours. I don't think DP realised how serious it was till they put me in a wheelchair to wheel me round to the gynae emergency dept. Care was patchy, as was information. I came home and mnetted, which told me what I needed to know. I managed the pain - the next day, it was coming in waves (I presume contractions) until I understood what the urge to push felt like, resisted looking at what I pushed out and then felt the blessed relief of pain going away. I endured far too much pain as the irrational side of my head would still not allow me to take more than paracetamol, just in case of a miracle.

I'm certain that, with the severity of the blood loss, I should have been kept in. I was considered anaemic 2 months afterwards - should have been advised to take iron tablets straight away, but my GP wasn't even interested in seeing me. I was strong and recovered physically - the day before the mc, I'd been incredibly thirsty and drunk litres and litres of water. I'm convinced now that my body knew what was coming and was preparing for the blood loss - clever things, bodies.

Over a year on, I still replay those days in my head in agonising detail and have only recently seen a sympathetic GP and asked for help - have been diagnosed with clinical depresssion, brought on by post traumatic stress from the mc. Based on my hellish year, I'd urge anyone this happens to to seek counselling earlier and be so, so kind to yourself. I thought I was coping, but over a year on, things kinda fell apart ...

Tads Mon 07-Dec-09 00:41:35

Yes, a miscarriage is definitely worse. At least there is usually a happy end to labour pains instead of dreadful fear that comes with miscarriage.

I'm currently on the 9th week of bleeding following a natural miscarriage at 11 weeks. I've been into hospital for a second ultrasound, an internal and a transvaginal scan. Out of 2 sonographers and 3 doctors, it seems no one can tell me why I'm still bleeding. I know we are all different, but I just thought I'd put this here in case anyone else's hormones are as crazy as mine. Apparently all looks normal in there, so all I can do is wait it out. Instead, I've decided to put myself back on the pill for a month to see if the same dose of hormone each day can level me out. Will let you know how I get on and I really hope no one else is in the same state!

may2010 Thu 27-May-10 14:23:52

Hi all, I know this is an older thread but I felt I wanted to write as I've been in a similar situation to some of the posters and maybe these posts will help someone going through a miscarriage.

I miscarried yesterday at 11 weeks, I knew it was going to happen when I started bleeding lightly and cramping in the middle of the night. This went on for ten hours and in hind sight I wish I knew what to expect. I think I should have been offered more drugs than paracetomol, I think there should have been some kind of a + e procedure to help out women in 'early labour' as I see it.

Instead of this I had painful contractions that worsened over a ten hour period, where I was eventually given co-codamol at a + e then advised to go home. After one very painful cramp I passed a large lump in the toilet and was so terrified I flushed it away as quick as I could. The on-call doctor then came to see me and considered a pethidine injection but didn't because I 'didn't look like i was in pain'. The cramps did lessen and a scan today confirmed my miscarriage, I wish there was a proper set-up for women going through this rather than stay at home with some ineffective painkillers.

Anyway, good luck to you all and I hope these messages help someone who may have to prepare themselves for the worst xxxxxxxxx

I wasn't told anything at all about what to expect and I'm in the second (hopefully final) stage of a two-part miscarriage. First part was a three day bleed, followed by slow rising HCG and threat of medical management, then a faint and a heavvy bleed which has to date lasted 12 days with no letup. I assume everyone is different and that's why they can't tell you want to expect

It's very hard and sites like this are a blessing to us!

cotton82 Tue 29-Mar-11 15:20:42

iam 8 weeks today and was +hopeing some one could give me a bit of advice i have had blood loss not to much but have also had stringy blood clots iam nt in pain just a bit of back ance this is baby num 5 preg 7 i have never lost a baby yet iam i lossing this one or could it be sumit els

freelancegirl Tue 29-Mar-11 18:28:39

Hi Cotton. Gosh you have resurrected an old thread!

Obviously I am not a professional but it sounds to me like you have nothing to worry about at the moment, as plenty of people seem to have pain and bleeding and not miscarry and it doesn't sound like you are having anything severe at the moment. Please go and see your doctor if you are worried though.

I would suggest you read some of the other threads that have been added to in the last few hours (the ones with titles that reflect people being worried because they are bleeding) as there is a lot of good information on there from people going through similar experiences.

NicoleC Thu 20-Jun-13 02:04:45

I was 12 weeks pregnant when i found out i had a missed misscariage. My doctor wanted me to have a natural misscariage at home. The whole experience was horrible. The contractions started at night. It felt like real labor contractions. This went on all night. The contractions were so bad, that i couldn't do anything to help. Then they stopped for a few hour, enough time for me to get some sleep. I then woke up to the contractions again, only these were much more intense. I sat on the toilet, & got this instinct all of a sudden to push. Then i heard a "plop" sound, & there it was. the sac which my baby was in. Once that was over, all the pain & cramping had stopped. Still light bleeding. The experience overall was very hard for me, because i really didn't know what to expect. It just goes to show how strong a women's body really is! So good luck, i hope my personal experience could help. Keep in mind this all happened to me yesterday.

squizita Thu 20-Jun-13 16:12:59

I have had 3 MCs (with complications unfortunately). I was expecting horrific pain (*at no point* did any medical professional say it would be like a period, in any of mine and it's shocking that some do!). I was given guidelines about excess bleeding etc' too.

In actuality with mine, although they were painful and medically complex, they were nothing like how I expected having read some stories on the internet.

jimijack Thu 20-Jun-13 16:20:14

Old but interesting thread.

Ive had 7 miscarriages.

None of which have been like heavy periods.

I have been hospitalised for pain relief with all of them, gas & air and morphine until the contractions have stopped (about 24 hours) and the pregnancy has been passed.

All miscarriages have been under 12 weeks.

I am in no way soft, these have all stopped me in my tracks and have been full on contractions that usual pain killers do not touch.

Blood loss also very heavy.
Distressing and traumatic. I recover very quickly, back to work within a couple of days usually.
Horrid horrid horrid.

RainyDay7 Thu 20-Jun-13 20:42:06

I have to say the nurse at my EPU was really good with her advice. She did make me feel prepared for what could happen. She said I may miscarry naturally between my scans and then she started to talk about what it could be like and then stopped and asked if I really wanted to hear this. I said yes I want to be prepared as possible. She explained the bleeding could be really heavy that it would be like someone had turned the tap on and that most women when it gets to that stage find it just easier to sit on the toilet. She went into detail describing the pains. How they would start out like period pains and then seem to get lower sharper and more concentrated. what the symptoms of heavy blood loss are what to watch out for. And told me to call the EPU if I felt I needed any help or advice and if they weren't open to call the A and E department. She made sure I had the number and said don't be worried about calling I have talked to many women who are sitting on the toilet going through this.
I think it was a shock when it started happening, it always is. I was in the EPU the following week waiting for my scan and had increasing bad cramps the whole night before and stood up and blood just started gushing out. I was prepared mentally though and the staff commented on how calm both I and hubby were. Unfortunatly the sac didn't pass on it's own. When I came back for the next scan in 10 days. I had to wait over a week for ERPC The nurse again told me that it could still pass in the meantime and the bleeding could be just as heavy as the first time. for the next week I had heavy bleeding off and on it would start fill one or two pads then stop again. I called the nurse she was really reasurring and sent me out a sick note for work as well. I had 4 hour bleed the night before my ERPC and the pain came in waves much like I think of contractions with loads of clotts as well. I had co codemal but it didn't touch the pain really but even so I was much happier to be in my own house in my own surroundings. I still had to have ERPC the next day because they did a scan and the sac still hadn't passed. The ERPC was much more scary experience for me personally probably because I wasn't in control of what was happening. The staff seem so disorganized and it felt more like I was a car in a garage being worked on than a human being.
Whereas the nurse in the EPU was really informative sympathetic and helpful definatly need to send them a box of chocolates as from reading other peoples experiences I seem to have been very lucky!

Hannahlouise81 Mon 15-Jul-13 21:42:12

Hi all, having just suffered a natural and unexpected miscarriage at 11 weeks I wanted to share my story. I started spotting early in the week but tried not to worry too much, I was just holding out for my 12 week scan which was due next week. After the spotting turned to more significant bleeding on Saturday morning I went to A&E where blood and urine was tested and to the extent of no infections etc the tests all came back fine. I was referred to the EPU but would have to wait until Monday morning as nothing they could do at the weekend. So I went off home feeling a little more positive and knowing I could be reassured on Monday with a scan. However as the day progressed the bleeding got worse but as I wasn't having any cramps I still tried to remain positive. When the cramps kicked in later in the evening I had to give up hope as I could only guess that what was happening was a miscarriage. To be honest I am relieved that I didn't know what was about to happen. As the cramps got worse I had to move to the bathroom and sit on the toilet. What I initially felt was a small pop and an outpouring of blood. After this the pain subsided and I managed to get back to lying on the bed. A little while after, I felt a need to get back to the toilet and blood was actually flowing freely out. It was during this time whilst on the toilet that I passed initially a small chunk of tissue followed by a foetus in a sac. The trauma of passing a foetus is what I don't think I will ever forget but the fact I was at home and didn't know any better and that there were other options out there is almost a relief. It happened naturally which I hope is a good sign of having a strong and capable body. I hope maybe my story might help somebody out there, since my mc 2 days ago I have scoured the web for similar stories and find that I have taken comfort from realising I am not alone. Huge love goes out to all those that have suffered, here's to healthy babies in the future xxx

Wetthemogwai Mon 14-Jul-14 22:14:58

Thank you for this thread everyone.

I've experienced a miscarriage at 11 weeks tonight although the baby didn't develop past 7.
I had no idea what to expect past 'heavy period and cramps' but this thread helped an incredible amount.

I have to say that I seem (so far!) to have got off very lightly. I've had bleeding for a few days with very minor cramps every now and again then this evening for about 3 hours I had strong contraction like pain with some intervals of a few minutes.
About 10 minutes ago the pain seemed to ease and I got the urge to push. I went to the toilet and passed what I assume was the baby and the sac. I've had no pain since and only a slight ache when I move.

Obviously it's still in progress so I will keep the thread updated with anything else if needed for future readers.

Thankyou again, I hope we can contribute this thread to the miscarriage care campaign if it hasn't been already

XthanksX

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