I picked a name for each of the babies I lost, so that I could remember a child rather than a blurred scan or line on a test. Arbitrarily decided they were girls and called them Iris, Freya and Alethia.

I also decided to think of them as children who weren't ready to be born, rather than children who died. If I close my eyes I can see my baby in the back bedroom, which will be their nursery, all cosy warm and looked after. I feel I can visit them whenever I like until they are ready to join us here.

I coped with the feelings of "I'd be showing now", "I'd be starting maternity leave soon" etc by making these thoughts memories yet to come. My baby in my mind is surrounded by golden bubbles, and in each bubble is a beautiful memory that is yet to happen.

Hope this is helpful x

I think the midwife training is a great idea too and me and DH will do this too.

Thankyou so much.

Bizarrely is currently sold out in oxfam at the moment.

Actionaid do one too but that is £411 and thats a bit too much.

neolara that is such an utterly brilliant idea,thank you. I have been wondering how to mark my mcs and midwife training hits the spot perfectly.

Good luck Wasabipeanut

Thanks all - lots of lovely ideas.

I chose to avoid the route of a memorial although I do think it can be helpful and is a lovely idea. It wasn't for me however as I didn't want to dwell on my loss. #

I chose to have hypnotherapy and EFT to rid myself of the negative feelings around ttc again and also the birth of my ds. Its been pretty effective in helping me to relax and feel positive about trying again.

I'm on cd1 of my 1st post mc cycle so hopefully I can let you know soon if it works!

The necklaces are a lovely idea and, as I'm feeling really crappy today I think I might indulge in one just for my own little memorial. Thank you for sharing the link Scorpio. x

I've had a number of miscarriages. I have planted a bush in the garden that flowers around the time two of the babies would have been due. I also donated money through Oxfam to train a midwife somewhere in Africa. I liked the idea that out of my sadness I could help someone else to have a happy and healthy baby.

It's not unusual to feel pretty low in the weeks after a mc. It's a horrible time, but you will start to feel better soon.

What a lovely idea of the rose bush - I'm sure you'll get your three roses this.
So sorry to hear of your three little angels - take care of yourself too
Thank you for posting - it's helping me focus on what I have, rather than what I haven't

D'oh - here not hear!! I should really read back the preview message!!

Hi Littlebellsmum

Sadly I have had 3 miscarriages, no children.
The first miscarriage we bought a white rose bush the day after it had happened; more to have something to look at and remember by. That summer a beautiful white rose appeared, just on its own. The following year I had another miscarriage and that summer two roses appeared as if to say "Im hear too". I have just had another miscarriage 4 weeks ago and Im wondering if three roses will appear this year - I probably sound like a sentimental ol' fool but it has helped me.

Take care of yourself...