My story - missed miscarriage at 11.5 weeks, natural miscarriage

(13 Posts)
redfrog Wed 08-Oct-08 14:25:14

Hello, I have joined as I wanted to give thanks to everyone who is posting on here giving support to women like myself in this situation and to share my experience in the hope that it might help even one person with what they are going through.

Two days ago I lost my 8-9 week fetus at nearly 12 weeks pregnant.

The first indication I had that something was wrong was when I woke up last Friday morning (6 days ago) to find that when I wiped after going to the loo I was passing small jelly like clots of blood, some small and round, some long and stringy. I phoned the GP who arranged for my scan to be brought forward to first thing Monday morning. Over the weekend I passed more clots, some brown, some reddish brown, some big and long, some small, but still only when I wiped after going to the loo. Sometimes I didn't pass clots for a few hours, and found only small blood stains when I wiped. There was no blood loss on the sanitary towels I wore.

Monday morning and the scan showed that my baby had no heartbeat and was 18mm in length, and had stopped growing at around 8-9 weeks.

I opted for a natural miscarriage.

That same night (two nights ago) I started to feel pain very low down below where my pelvic bone is at around 8 o/c. The pains were cramps, and gradually got worse, but even in between the cramps I still felt in pain and couldn't get comfortable in any position. I was bleeding bright red blood.

By around 1 o/c (five hours later) the pain was unbearable and my husband woke up to find me on all fours and crying. My female relatives have since said that the pain I described was similar to labour pain and reckoned this was because my cervix was opening to pass the pregnancy.

I was very worried and feeling panicky as I didn't know whether this much pain was normal, or if I should be losing so much blood. Before my husband could ring the NHS helpline or consider taking me to hospital, the blood was just trickling out me, and then I passed a big clot, say 3 or 4 inches in length, and then the fetus. The fetus was like a small grey shrimp. About an hour later the cramps had subsided and I was able to go back to bed.

Yesterday I had very heavy bleeding with some small clots. Today is day 3. The bleeding is still heavy, but lighter than yesterday. I passed another big clot today which was heavier than the others I've been passing. I am not sure whether or not this was the sac as it dropped in to the loo before I could examine it. I am still passing small clots.

I apologise if some may find this a bit graphic. I have not talked about my feelings or my sense of loss here, but just my personal experience of what has happened.

These forum pages are the best source of information and advice I have found on the net and I wanted to give something back by sharing my story. My heart goes out to everyone out there who is going through or has been through this in its various forms and stages. These are dark days and this forum is helping me to pull through.

LullyMummaOfOne Wed 08-Oct-08 14:49:38

Hi Redfrog, i am so sorry to hear about your loss. I had a missed miscarriage back in July when i was 9 weeks, the only sympton i had was a sharp pain in my left side. I went for a scan and they confirm the pregnancy ended at 7 weeks.

I have a beautiful little boy who has been my pilir of strenght though this horrible time and my DH has been my rock.

I really hope things calm down for you now ans that you have time to come to terms with your loss.

Lots of luck

igivein Wed 08-Oct-08 15:18:16

First of all, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I think your post is very valuable, and you are very brave to post so soon.
I had a missed miscarriage, and my experience was very similar to yours. No one had told me that this would happen, I was just told it would be like a heavy period. Well it wasn't, it was like being in labour, and very scary. If I'd been forwarned it wouldn't have been any less painful, but I might have been less scared.

redfrog Wed 08-Oct-08 15:22:04

Hello LullyMummaofOne, thank you for your message. It made me cry, but then everything seems to be setting me off at the moment sad . Your experience of the m/c itself was very different from mine but anxieties and worry leading up to the scan and the loss something we share. I think it is important for us to share how it happens because I feel that the formal medical sites are very general and don't always give the kind of details to help women prepare themselves.

I am glad you have the support you need and that you have your little boy. I have my two boys, albeit small and furry (dogs!) but they are are comfort to me smile . My mum is my rock at the moment but my husband is grieving in his own way - very differently to me as he is keeping himself very busy whilst I am 'wallowing.' He thinks that the m/c is over because the fetus is gone but for me, until the bleeding stops I don't think I will be able to move on.

Thanks again for your message

redfrog Wed 08-Oct-08 15:38:03

Hi igivein, I am sorry to hear that you had to go through the same kind of miscarriage as me. I had similar advice - the specialist at the hospital told me to expect cramps like period pains. I don't suffer very badly usually with period pains but I have had them every so often. This was different though - the pain was much lower down. I think you have hit the nail on the head when you say that it wouldn't have been any less painful, but much less scary to know that it can be like labour. When I was having the pains I didn't know whether it was going to last like that for days (as period pains can!) and that's what made me panic.

I am sorry that you have such a sad nickname too. Of course I don't know your history but I hope that you haven't given in sad.

igivein Wed 08-Oct-08 15:47:27

Hi redfrog the nickname's to do with joining MN, and every name I picked someone already had, in the end I just thought 'I give in', and it let me have that one! I hadn't thought of it as sad, because we didn't give in, had one more mc then went on to have ds who's now 2 and gorgeous. So don't you give in either!

redfrog Wed 08-Oct-08 16:16:57

Hi igivein, I'm glad to hear that the name has origins other than the one I was thinking! And reassuring to hear that you have gone on to have healthy babes smile.

frenchee Thu 09-Oct-08 13:29:23

HI Redfrog and everyone else!

I wanted to add my experience as I have found this website such a source of help and comfort at what I can only describe as one of the scariest times of my life. it is good to know you are not the only one when you experience a mc as this can be such a lonely time and you often dont know who to turn to for advice, or reassurance for "is this normal?".

Redfrog - I wanted to send you a big hug and just to say I can so relate to everything you have been going through this week - I think I have been having the same type of mc experience as you by the sounds of it.

Just to put you in the picture, I was 8 weeks preg and I started 7 days ago with period like bleeding, pains and light clotting that only showed at first really when I wiped. Prior to this I had brown spotting and light pains in my lower tummy. The pains and bleeding got heavier toward the end of the week and I ended up needing pads. I went for a scan last Thursday only to show I had miscarried at 4 weeks. The doctor didnt want to confirm it had gone, as it was too small to show a heartbeat, so he booked me in for another scan for next week on Tuesday and told me to contact him if I started bleeding badly or were concerned. A great help as it is all concerning!

I have basically been waiting for everything to come out...(sorry to be so graphic) I too opted for a natural mc, mainly because I felt it had already started. I thought I had got off lightly, only to go through the full blown experience last night.

I first passed what looked like a raw grey shrimp which was hard and about half the size of my thumb (sorry for the grahpic description). I was quite relieved at this stage as I thought finally it was over. After this I started having cramps which I could only later begin to think were like contractions every 5-10 mins. This was coupled with pain like a dull dragging ache that wouldn't go away.

I too was very frightened at the amount of blood, it was just like a nosebleed, dripping into the toilet and then covering the tissue very quickly having wiped myself - what scared me was how bright red it was, coupled with the large clots i was passing every 10 mins or so - some were half the size of my palm....it was very frightening. I finally passed a vary large clot after which point I felt slightly different - it almost felt like my cervix had gone back to normal as my insides felt different, and I stopped panicing. The intense time lasted about 4 hours and I was very close to going to A&E until I passed the last big clot. After this the pain started to ease off a bit and the blood loss didnt seem as bad. I was able to get some sleep. I woke up again in the night and passed another clot, but the blood wasnt as gushing like it had earlier and it felt like a heavy period. I woke up this morning and it was definitely lighter so I am relieved (and hoping) the worst may be over.

This morning I phoned my doctor, he told me what I had experienced was normal and because the bleeding had subsided, to just treat it as a period and go for the scan on Tuesday to make sure everything was gone.

Now I am just stuck in this awful limbo time...wondering if it is finished or will I still need a D&C after everything I have gone through. It is very hard and wearing on your emotions, mainly as all you want is closure. I just wanted to share this experience with you and to also thank you.

Redfrog - reading your post today allowed me to sigh a bit of relief in the knowledge that I wasn't the only one. My thoughts are with you too.

Big hugs to everyone who needs them. xxx

So sorrry for your losses igivein and redfrog. I had a natual miscarriage on 30th Aug after scan that morning showed fetus had died at 6 weeks (I was 8+2)).

I left the scan with "it may take up to 4 weeks for everything to come away" ringing in my ears so it was a BOG shock when a mere two hours later I started cramping and passing clots. I was soaking thorugh every pad within seconds so ended up sitting on the toilet. At one point I heard something 'plop'into the toilet and i think that was the fetus as the clots 'slithered' out rather than plopped (TMI sorry).

My body ended up going into shock and I had to lie down on tiled bathroom floor as I was shaking, crmaping and feeling faint - yes similar to labout pains). DH called NHS 24 and an ambulance took me to hospital.

Managed to avoid D&E even though Doctors were keen to take me to theatre. Had to endure 2 manual scraping of my cervix (they talk about your 'os' being open - that's the neck of your womb). Passed further clots that day but thankfully discharged the following morning as a scan showed I had less than 2cm of 'product' to pass.

I bled for two weeks then on 12th/13th Sept the same crampy sick feeling returned first thing in the morning, that Tues night I passed another clot the size of a plum. Phoned the Gynae ward and was reassured that that was probably the last of it (even though my scan had shown less than 2cm two weeks previous?)

Anyway bleeding stopped completely after that and on 23rd Sept, my period started which is still ongoing today albeit browny discharge. My cycle is all to pot but we're keen to try again.

I still feel floored by it all but reading posts on here has helped me tremendously as have my DH and beautful DS (2 years).

I'm so glad I managed to avoid a D&E and in a way I'm 'proud' of my body as it knew to expel my pregnancy as it was over.

Best wishes and full strentgh to you all!

Its not only my cycle that's gone to pot, my typing has too!

Thanks for letting me read your story too frenchee

frenchee Thu 09-Oct-08 14:45:18

HI Bluesatinsash

thanks for sharing your story too...we all seem to be in the same boat!

I am hoping my body has done the work for me too...it is encouraging to know you have got through it.

Good luck x

alsvowles Tue 23-Jul-13 08:59:51

Hello just wanted to add my story to help others in this situation. I found out at 9 weeks that the foetus had no heartbeat. I then decided to wait to miscarry naturally which happened after two weeks. The waiting was bad and I was worried that I might miscarry all of a sudden in public, but actually it was a very important time for me as it gave me time to get to terms with it. I feel emotionally sound and am convinced those two weeks were important for me. In the end my miscarriage came with some warning as I started to bleed 2 days before and this got increasingly heavier. The night before I miscarried I felt very anxious a feeling I recognised from before going into labour with my two beautiful girls. The miscarriage started at 4 in the morning, I woke up with a sudden gush of blood and then sat in the bath on towels (no water) for 3 hours as my body had mild contractions and I passed clots and the sac. It was not too bad at all. The pain then subsided and I felt fine again by breakfast time. I did have some pains for a few days but feel glad it is all over and pleased with how it went. Maybe I was lucky but I'd recommend trying to do it naturally at this stage if you can, don't be too scared it can be absolutely fine. Good luck.

iamlouie Tue 23-Jul-13 16:59:42

Thanks for sharing your stories - you are very brave and I'm so sorry for your loss. I am 8+5 with no heartbeat and now need to decide what to do next. I am provisionally booked in to take the tablets to bring on the miscarriage, but feel very confused, as I only found out this morning. Your stories are helping me made a decision, so thank you x

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