Partner had mc 5 months ago - pain during sex... infection?

[Neas]

Hi all,

(Apology for the detail)

My partner had a miscarriage on janruary 17th. She was around 6 weeks pregnant. We went for a Transvaginal scan just before she started to miscarriage properly (large loss etc).... he couldn't find a pouch but said her ovaries were fine..

They took her blood to record Hcg level and sent us home with no other care. Later that day they phoned to say her Hcg level was 'low' ... and that she wouldnt need to come in again... So ... we took this and i helped her through her MC ... was a sad time for both of us.

We decided to wait a few months before re-trying.... but we've had a few problems that doctors haven't come up with a solution to.

My partner has pain when we have intercourse... its taken 3 months for the doctors to refer her to a gynaecologist... and he could 'touch' the same area to cause the pain (it bled a little), he mentioned her womb was bigger than normal. He referred her for another Transvaginal ultrasound again... to check her womb.... although we got an appointment 2.5 weeks later!.

After the miscarriage shes had a water infection (or at least we thought), an ear infection. Both of these were removed by giving her antibiotics.

I'm really worrying she has an infection... or something didn't go from the womb... and that maybe because of the doctors imcompetence for releasing her by just checking her HCG that she has a bit left inside her... cause infection etc.

Im probably just worrying but we haven't had a child together yet and would be heartbroken if by someones error we cant have kids . please can anyone alleviate my worries?

Has anyone else had problems with painful sex (deeper penetration) months after a miscarriage?

I'd like to add she had a period yesterday and she now has a hard time urinating as its painful for her (like a water infection).

[poppy34]

Firstly sorry to hear about the m/c. I don't know about residual infection (but it is worth getting it checked out by gyne) but I did have a number of uti and was generally very run down for months after my first m/c. sounds like your dp may be as susceptible. I had not had any for years then got 2/3 after m/c.

Also make sure you are both generally looking after yourselves (am sure you are) re diet , exercise etc - if you're trying again esp when you've already had heartache of one m/c I really wouldn't underestimate

[Neas]

The only thing that alerted us that something was wrong... she would get pain during sex... We thought this was normal for first 1-2 months after m/c but didn't

We were thinking maybe something is left... and causing the pain.. Altho the Gnye touched the area and didnt seem to think it was an immediate problem (guess cause the scan is 1st july).

Just hering stories about scarring in the womb and allsorts...

[poppy34]

I am not an expert but if she had fever, discharge or bleeding I would have thought if there was some kind of scarring/infection there. The pain from sex could be due to lots of things so I would talk to gyne about it if you feel comfortable.

Can understand why you're so worried in circs but it is pretty unusual to get infections (I had 2 d/c procedures and 3 m/c) -esp if she was given antibiotics.

The scan on 1st - is this one that will check her tubes, etc for scarring or is it a more standard ultrasound to check for retained material? would ahve thought former might tell you more.

[kd73]

Another non expert here, but I found that after both my m/c's, we were not followed up medically. I too worried about infection etc and wondered why we weren't followed up - it seems to be just one of those things

i wonder if anyone told you that tampons should not be used with the m/c bleeding due to the risk of infection.

[Neas]

we were told not to use tampoons. She has no real other signs of infection other than the pain during sex.

It makes her feel like she wants to go pee and its quite 'deep'. Alot of these things are quite embarassing to talk to with a normal doctor...

basically when im penetrating her 'straight' i.e doggy style or when she is on top.... she feels pain and wants to pee.

She just rang me, had a period but it was not as much as usual and she needs to pee alot... when she stops peeing it hurts a bit.

Could be she has a couple of things wrong, but im sure they all related.

Maybe kidney stones? altho she doesnt see any blood and only pain at ending of weeing. Its annoying because doctors take forever .

[poppy34]

kidney stones I think are really painful (as in I heard one friend actually say it was worse than childbirth and its ongoing) so would probably know about that.

can see why its embarassing to chat to doctor about it but they've heard it all before

Is it painful every time you have sex or just sometimes?

[Neas]

She thinks she might have cystitis, causing her the painful weeing etc.

Prob unrelated to the painful sex. Her urine and blood has been tested for infection previously and it came up with nothing.

No STI, STDs, Infection etcs... just the pain was always there, bit of a mystery...

[Neas]

been to doctors, she has water infection at the moment.

2nd or 3rd ones shes had in 6 months!. Still waiting for the scan on 1st July.

[poppy34]

what are your views on alternative medicine? I as fairly ambivalent but have to say that acupuncture really did help make my immune system stronger and cycles more regular before conceiviing again (won't bore you with details but in a 2 year period had 2 m/c and lost one baby at 21 weeks due to abnormalities).

Just think anything that can subtly rebalance your system after this kind of thing well worht trying as well as checking out the more obvious things like your scan.

[Neas]

I was hoping that if we waited 6 months everything would be back to normal so to speak.... Going to try again soon...hopefully

[Ate]

Have you considered the possibility that the pains could be psychosomatic? Not to say that there isn't possibly something physically amiss but the body and mind can work in funny ways to protect themselves following traumatic events.

If it were psychosomatic, it's no less serious or in need of addressing than a purely physical problem though!

I hope you and your partner find the answers she needs.

[Neas]

Doctor suggested it might be in her head too, the jury is still out on that.... Obviously I cant suggest that to my OH.

It was pretty nasty for her.. woulda been our first child so pretty devasting . Still fingers crossed, she taking pregnancy vitamins like folic acid now ;).

[poppy34]

agree with ate but didnt want to say.. m/c is devestating for both parents and can see how much it meant to you both . I know its an old cliche but am sure it helped to go talk to someone (I had counselling ).

sounds like you are being really lovely and supportive.. also if you are tryign again is there any way you can try adn do it in a relaxed fashion? Found booking a wine tasting holiday worked a treat.. was really looking forward to it but sadly turned into a wine sniffing holiday (am now sitting here willing teh baby out at 41 weeks so things do turn out ok in the end).

[Neas]

Just got back from a transvaginal scan... No abnormalities detected... Scanner mentioned it could be endemmetrosis or something.

Thing is it started directly after her frst miscarriage so bit of a coincidence for me.

She is now trying to get a Larproscopy. Keyhole surgry with a camera to go and investigate internally. Hopefully should come up with some good results.

Thanks

[Neas]

Was endemetrosis. he suppodely burned the bits away.. going to see him tomorrow.

Cant try for baby for 4 months while he supresses period or something.