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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Has anyone used an NHS miscarriage counsellor?

8 replies

tootle · 05/12/2004 08:38

I had my second miscarriage in June. At the time I did not think I would need to use the counsellor.

But now...... now I am feeling more and more down. Probably more due to the fact that we are having no luck conceiving again after 6 cycles, but I guess my misery and bitterness is still related to the miscarriage so I have been trying to work up the courage to give the counsellor a call.

I have never been to a counsellor before. I am scared I won't have anything to say or if I do, I'll end up feeling worse than when I went in.

Any advuce would be welcome.

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serenequeen · 05/12/2004 23:37

hello tootle

just logging off and noticed no-one has responded yet. i hope you get a response tomorrow when the boards are busier. fwiw - i would give the counsellor a call. what have you got to lose. it won't matter if you don't have anything to say.

sorry you are feeling so down :(

good luck.

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serenequeen · 06/12/2004 10:29

bump

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Donbean · 06/12/2004 10:52

Hi Tootle,
After my second miscarriage and a load of other bad stuff happening in my life i finally agreed that i needed some one to talk to.
I made an appointment with the NHS counsellor and met about 5 times with her.
I felt that i had nothing to lose (as i felt that i had lost every thing any way)and gave it a go.
She was good, understanding sympathetic and asked all the right questions to get out of me what i needed to let go.
The difference in talking to her as opposed to my husband or a good friend i cant explain to you, it gave me the freedom to talk about myself for an hour without feeling selfish or that i was bringing the other person down as it were.
Some weeks i just sat and cried and cried and couldnt talk but that didnt matter at all. Other weeks you couldnt shut me up.
It helped me, although i was, and still am adamant that my sadness and that big black cloud that was over me was a normal and natural response to shit happening.
I was grieving for so many things.
I had never been to a counsellor befor either and i dont think that i would be as hesitant in the future if i needed to talk to some one.
HTHX

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hana · 06/12/2004 13:45

tootle, I would def call. It was something I thought I didn't need 'at the time' (I've had 2 mc/ and a termination, two of the losses were 4 months apart last year) I thought I had enough of a support web around me.........but really didn't. I am pregnant again and it somehow seems a bit easier now, although guilty feelings and other things still surface.
Lots of luck ttc

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tootle · 06/12/2004 14:36

Thanks for your responses. I call her this week.

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hana · 06/12/2004 16:33

hope it goes well Tootle. The NCT also have an 'experience' register

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serenequeen · 07/12/2004 08:52

good luck, tootle.

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hester · 07/12/2004 09:00

Tootle, it's something i was offered, but haven't taken up (yet). But I really think you should. A close friend of mine miscarried before her first child. She told me that she feels she never really dealt with the grief - too focused on trying to conceive again, and then dealing with pregnancy and a baby - and she feels now that if she had given herself the time and the permission to go into that grief she would have coped better with all that followed. Go for it. If the first appointment doesn't feel right, you don't have to go back. Good luck xxx

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