Hi, last year when we sadly lost our 1st baby at 9.5 weeks into PG I had so many questions and struggled to find information. I thought therefore that sharing our experiences might help others. Im now 38 but last year we got PG in July and from early on we had brown spotting - this can be okay and you can go on to have a healthy baby but you need to get checked out by your doc asap as it can also be a warning of a m/c. Things improved and we had a clear 6 week scan - we had this due to age and bleeding. At the 9 week scan we were sadly told there was no heart beat - to say that we were devastated is an understatement. I still felt so pregnant. We were given the options to have a managed m/c which are 1) wait and see 2) take misophil which is a drug to switch off your pregnancy hormones and start the m/c 2) have the delightfully named Evacuation of Retained Product of conception (like a DNC). We waited a week to see what would happen and to absorb the news. Nothing happend so we opted for the drug option - we were advised that the ERPC as an invasive procedure could cause scarring and carried a greater risk of infertility - no quantification of this risk was given tho. We had the drug option in hospital (tho it can be taken at home). It took several hrs for anything to happen and when it did it was very emotional - its like a very heavy AF and of course you pass a sac and what was your baby - ours was the size of a walnut. It was v. hard as we had to give everything to the nurse via a bed pan. I didnt really experience bad pain until after which was as a result of my uterus contracting - I didnt know about this so was scared but strong pain killers helped. I bled for about 1.5 wks after which was like a heavy AF. 2 weeks later we were scanned to check all clear but sadly it hadnt worked fully and there was some material left. To prevent infection we then had to have the ERPC anyway! I now know there is a 70% chance of success with the drug option. The ERPC involves a general anaesthetic but lighter than for a major op and after a 12 hr wait we were in and out within 30mins. I had light bleeding after but only for a few days. My AF returned after one month but have been quite irregular since - sometimes 10 days late. The emotional impact tho has been huge - far more than I could imagine. I blamed myself and I developed a tremor (mostly arms and hands) and had my 1st ever panic attack - tho unknown to me I was sat next to a lady who turned out to be a stress and anxiety therapist! The doc was quite unhelpful so we had to research the cause of my tremor to make sure it wasn't anything else - an osteopath described my symptoms as similar to those who experienced a car crash trauma - the nervous system cranks up leading to tremor and startling. A study in America found that up to 50% of women who m/c experience these symptoms and a few have post traumatic stress disorder. Having said that I dnt know anyone else who has had this. But if you do experience shakes and startling at least you know what it could be - but always get checked out. I have found Reiki and reflexology to be very helpful and some 10mths on am much better. I also found meditation a great help to relax. We are still trying again but no success so far. My DH took a long time for the emotional impact to hit - I think he was so worried about me he held it all in. So often the guys get forgotten and whilst I tried to support him immed after the m/c I was not in the best of states. He eventually broke down 5 mths later and cried and cried - he felt so much better after that. I would recommend that you try and get your DH to talk to others as well as talking to you. We have discovred how common m/c is 1 in 4and that it can happen for no apparent reason. We found an excellent book - Surviving Miscarriage - you are not alone by Stacey McLaughlin who is a psychologist and has had a m/c. This really helped and is on Amazon. We still grieve, feel its unfair and occasionally cry but we are trying to focus on the future and hope to be lucky next time. Whilst I fervently hope that none of you have to go through this I hope that this sharing helps those of you who do. Remember that as hard as it is you do come through it and everyone has a different experience. Our midwife summed it up - she said that I'm sure you'll go on to have other children but this will always be your first. Love and baby dust AMT37
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Sharing our experience of a missed miscarriage at 9.5 wks
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AMT37 · 25/06/2007 14:55
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