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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Missed Miscarrige.....Why?

25 replies

missnatalie · 11/04/2007 22:47

Today i have been for my scan and should have been 11w 5d. The scan shown that my baby's heart stopped at 9w 2d. Doctors are calling this a missed miscarrige and they will be removing the baby on friday.

My question is why does this happen? The heartbeat was perfect at 6w. Baby was normal size and we saw the yolk sac etc. My MW told me that the risk of miscarrige dramatically reduces once the heartbeat has been seen, so why has it happend?

I lost 1 baby in nov 06 as it was ectopic and now another. 2 babies in the space of 5 months.

I asked the doc today why it happens and she couldnt answer. She said it just happens. There must be a reason why though.

Has anyone else been through this and know why it happens?

Natalie x

OP posts:

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lucyellensmum · 11/04/2007 23:04

i am so so sorry for you, hang on in there sweetheart. I dont have any answers for you im afraid, just my best wishes and condolances.

Bamzooki · 11/04/2007 23:14

Really sorry to hear this. It's awful isn't it?

I had a one at 10 weeks - when at 6w as you say al looked fine. I was told it was a 'blighted ovum' - which personally I think it is a horrible sounding term, and I think is rather outdated now.
AFAIK early miscarriage like this is often caused by abnormalities in the embryo which stops it developing properly. So whatever happened it would never have been able to develop into a baby, and is absolutely nothing to do with anything you may have done/not done.
What have they advised you to do now?

missnatalie · 11/04/2007 23:23

I was given 3 options:

wait and let nature take its course
take a tablet to start my uterus contracting
go back on friday for a D&C.

Ive chosen opion 3 although i think option 1 may have already started. Ive been bleeding since tea time and got mild pains. It may sound horrible but i just want the baby out. Its killing me knowing that im walking round with my baby dead inside me.

DP and i were talking about if and when we are going to ttc again. How long should we wait? We were thinking of waiting for at least one period. Getting pregnant with this baby helped me so much come to terms with the ectopic one.

OP posts:

Bamzooki · 11/04/2007 23:28

Just re-read your OP and saw about Friday.
I was left to 'let nature take its course', and actually I did start to miscarry that same night, but it was a long and unpleasant process, and meant further scans in hospital (in the Maternity Dept which was precisely where I didn't want to be) to check everything had gone properly, to avoid infection etc. In hindsight the surgical option would have been less traumatic.
Take care of yourself, and allow yourself to 'grieve' for your baby. It's far more healthy to let yourself process the emotions and come out the other side, than to lock it away. It doesn't mean forgetting. Mine was 7 years ago, and i have since had my ds (already had dd at the time), but i still wonder sometimes what the 'other' one might have been like.
Good luck on Friday.

missnatalie · 11/04/2007 23:31

Thanks Bamzooki x

OP posts:

Bamzooki · 11/04/2007 23:33

Sorry Xposts.
I was advised to let one cycle pass to let my body settle down, but my sister, who also had an early mc managed to skip that part accidentally and was pg within a month. Successfully that time.

If you are mc'ing now, don't be afraid to take painkillers if you need to. I found co-codamol helpful.......

missnatalie · 11/04/2007 23:34

Got the co-codomal ready. Going to go to bed now with a hot water bottle for my tummy. The cramps seem to be getting worse.

OP posts:

Bamzooki · 11/04/2007 23:35

Good night. Try and get as much sleep as you can. x

Wavedancer · 12/04/2007 17:51

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss Natalie.

I also went through a missed miscarriage in November last year (at 12 weeks) and like you, things started happening naturally after I'd had the scan.

I wish I could give you some answers about why this happens but I'm afraid there just aren't any. This was your body's way of dealing with a pregnancy that could never develop. It may have been a chromosomal abnormality - something just went wrong when sperm met egg. It's an incredibly delicate process and you may be surprised to learn that 75% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage (most of which happen before a woman is even aware she's conceived).

In terms of when to start for the next one, well I don't think there's any harm in trying straight away - if you feel emotionally strong enough.

Take care of yourself and get lots of rest. I won't lie to you, the next few days will be tough and you'll need to stay strong.

Jo x

Verso · 15/04/2007 12:24

Hi missnatalie. I think you were on the october thread with me? Anyway - I had very similar on Friday. Went for the 12 week scan and the baby had died at 8 weeks. I can sort-of imagine what you're going through - especially as you had already seen a heartbeat, which we hadn't. (My d&c is tomorrow, btw, if they can fit me in - might be later in the week. Don't you just love the sensitivity of the NHS?!)

Sending you huge hugs and sympathy.

griffintribe · 15/04/2007 15:25

Sorry for your loss, i know what you are going thru.

8weeks ago i had a missed m/c, the baby died at 12.5 weeks but i didn't find out until 15 weeks. We had the 12 week scan and the baby was fine.

I carried her with no problems until 15 weeks and it seems so unfair that i had 3 happy weeks thinking everything was ok when actually my baby was dead.

I am DESPARATE to get pregnant again.

Good luck to you

missnatalie · 15/04/2007 19:49

Hi Verso - ive just posted you a message on the October thread. I am so sorry to hear of your mmc, i really am. Its so hard isnt it. You will get through this, we both will. I hope that tomorrow goes ok. I cant beleive your hospital its shocking. My sisters friend had a mmc last year and she was told that she had to wait 3 weeks before they would perform the procedure. In the end she went to a private clinic. I had mine on Friday. Friday was so hard for me but once i was back home with DP things started to feel easier. I still have my moments the slightest thing has me in tears. Ive just been in tears again reading your post on the October thread. Its just so unfair.

DP and i have decided to try again as soon as i feel well enough. The doc told me that there was no medical reason for us to wait but did recommend waiting for my 1st period so that i know my dates.

Good luck for tomorrwo hun and i hope that we both have happier news in the near future.

Natalie xx

OP posts:

missnatalie · 15/04/2007 19:54

Griffintribe - sorry to hear of your loss. I cant beleive how many people on this site have been through it. Its heart breaking. I really do hope that you get your BFP positive very soon. Hopefully ill be joining you soon too.

Natalie xx

OP posts:

twotimestrouble · 15/04/2007 23:12

Natalie

Glad things are getting a bit easier. I just want to echo Bamzooki's post. I had a mmc at 12 wks and thought I was fine about it. Then remember reading Hello !! a week later and seeing a celeb with their baby and collapsing in tears . BUT we tried again straight after my next period and got pregnant immediately. It was a very difficult first few months because of mmc but I gave birth to a healthy baby boy and he's now three. All the pain of the first pregnancy disappeared.

Why this happens? - who knows, but I guess it's nature's way..

The very best of luck.

EllieG · 16/04/2007 14:34

Missnatalie - am so sorry for what you're going through. Same thing happened to me about a month and a half ago. I know it's natural to ask why, but please know it is nothing you did wrong. I was told that sometimes there are jsut abnormalities and the baby will never develop beyond a certain stage. Dr said to me that in actual fact I should be releived that my body was working the way it should be, by stopping growth. Am not sure about that, but at least you can know there was nothing you could do.
Look after yourself - the next few days/weeks will be tough but am thinking of you xxx

lissielou · 16/04/2007 14:37

missnatalie, verso, im so so sorry. i wish there was something i can say to make you feel better. {{hugs for you both}} please take time to grieve and be kind to yourself x

Verso · 17/04/2007 15:18

Thanks, everyone, for your kind words. It helps so much to know of other people who have experienced similar and then gone on to have healthy pregnancies. The procedure went fine yesterday - loads of waiting around - but the operation itself was ok. I'm still very wobbly though. Took today off work and they're being very supportive but feel I ought to go back tomorrow.

Griffintribe and Missnatalie, I'm thinking of you both.

EllieG · 17/04/2007 15:43

Am not nagging you verso - but don't you think you need more time off than that? I had a week off after same thing and really really needed the time just to feel physically better. It's been a month now and my GP wants to sign me off again for another couple of weeks because she thinks I haven't had enough time to grieve properly and am pushing self too hard. Are you sure you have to go back tomorrow? You've been through a massive thing - physically and emotionally, and you need time to recover.

torres · 17/04/2007 17:26

verso- so sorry to hear of your loss, I had a missed mc at the end of Feb. I agree with Ellie G, I would take a couple of weekds off if you can and try and plan nice things for yourself to do or just wallow under the duvet if you have a bad day. I am still finding work exhausting 7 weeks later and having up and down days. Look after yourself and get your strength back. Big hugs.

Verso · 18/04/2007 16:11

Thanks, everyone. Yes, I agree I should take more time off and have decided to take the rest of this week. (I didn't feel it was 'nagging' at all, by the way, and appreciate the thought!)

honey2theb · 18/04/2007 20:27

im really sorry for your loss!

I had a missed mc a year ago, then another a few months back. i REALLY thought i couldnt have babies, but im now 20 weeks pregnant and everything seems fine!! a little girl!
people kept saying there was no reason for a mmc, but i didnt believe it! look after yourself, and you will feel better i promise. have a good cry and scream if you like. It's so hard to deal with, well it was for me anyway! dont feel like you have to bottle it all up

hugs xxxxx

EllieG · 19/04/2007 09:11

Verso - good for you girl! enjoy your week but don't be afraid to take longer if you need it. Work ain't the be all and end all, your health is much more important. Look after yourself x
Nice to hear positive stories honey2theb - am glad your pregnancy is going well is lovely to hear x

Verso · 19/04/2007 19:50

Well - looks like a change of plan. Boss phoned this evening and told me how awfully everything is going in my absence so looks like I have to go back sharpish and will be in tomorrow. Oh well. Guess I should pull myself together and stop wallowing eh?

EllieG · 20/04/2007 08:52

Not good. Don't get bullied into going back if you aren't ready.

LilRedWG · 20/04/2007 08:55

MissN, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and don't have any answers for you. How are you now?

Haven't read the whole thread, just the OP, so if I'm repeating anyone I apologise.

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