MMC - how did you "manage"?

(18 Posts)
Justwondering79 Thu 22-Sep-16 07:30:25

I've suffered a MMC, lost baby at 6 weeks, found out last night when I thought I was nearly 10.

I'm not sure how to manage it. Initially thought of surgery, worried about GA and my husband isn't keen about the "operation" aspect. I'm worried about how much bleeding there will be with the pessary and how long it will last for? I don't really want to take too much time of work, BUT I'm a teacher and can't freely or easily get to a toilet. We are also having our bathroom done at home so again, toilet access restricted during the day while the plumbers are in.

I just don't know what to do! Any advice?

metimeisforwimps Thu 22-Sep-16 07:38:59

Sorry you are going through this, I had the same thong, baby died at 8 weeks bit didn't know until 12 week scan. Initially I wanted to let the miscarraige occur naturally bit after a week or so i was finding it emotionally difficult so I asked for surgical management. I can't remember why I decided against medical management, sorry. The surgery was fine, in and out in a day, was nervous about GA but was fine. Staff very kind, relaxing day in bed! I hope that whatever you devide you get through it ok. That was my 3rd Mc, following my first little boy, and after that I had another baby, so don't lose hope!
flowers

IWillTalkToYouLater Thu 22-Sep-16 07:39:03

Im sorry you're through this.

I chose surgical management. In fact, more than once. I do not regret it, it was quick, painless (maybe a bit a achey for a few days), and gave me closure. I would recommend it, and inthe nicest possible way, this is 100% your choice, not your husbands.

flowers

eurochick Thu 22-Sep-16 07:40:14

I'm sorry you are going through this.

When my mmc was discovered I really wanted to avoid surgery and so started "project eviction" - loads of strong coffee, hard exercise, etc. Anything I could think of that was cautioned against in early pregnancy. Whether it made a difference or not, I started bleeding a couple of days later. The pain was only bad for a couple of days, until I passed the sac, then it was just like a long period. In fact, about 5 days into my bleed I flew to the US for work and managed - I did better keeping busy and so didn't want loads of time off. I had one day working at home (not an option for you, obviously), and one day off in bed dosed up on codeine and then went back. Physically I didn't find it too bad. Mentally it was a lot harder (the pregnancy was the result of my first round of IVF after a long while ttc).

IWillTalkToYouLater Thu 22-Sep-16 07:40:34

Also, i would not want to go through it naturally with a potential audience (plumbers).

metimeisforwimps Thu 22-Sep-16 07:41:47

Having had 2 normal miscarriages, which I imagine is similar to medical management of mmc, I would say that toilet access is quite important. Also you would probably need longer off work as ot can bd a bit painful and leave you feeling drained.

MewlingQuim Thu 22-Sep-16 07:42:57

So sorry for your loss flowers

I think you will probably need to be at home, not at work.

My mmc was later (12w) but was very bloody and a lot of cramps. I was just sat on the loo bleeding for some of it, it wasn't worth putting pants and pads on I got through them too quickly.

I have also Mc at 6 weeks and it was still heavier and more uncomfortable than a period. I did still go to work because we were desperately short of staff and I didn't want to explain.

Don't underestimate the emotional side of it too, you will need to give yourself some time to grieve. I think you will want some privacy, can you reschedule the plumbers?

Glomerulus Thu 22-Sep-16 07:43:02

I'm really sorry for your loss flowers. I had a mmc at 12 weeks and opted for medical management (pessary) as like you I wasn't keen on GA. Some hospitals do this as an in-patient, others (like mine) administer the tablets in hospital and send you home to miscarry. It should all work within 24 hours - mine was over in about 6. You would need your own bathroom though - can you arrange for your plumbers not to be around for a day?

Others will be able to tell you about the surgical route, there's no right or wrong answer so good luck whatever you decide.

pickledsausage Thu 22-Sep-16 07:44:09

Hi just, sorry you're going through this.

I had the operation in May and had a positive experience, I was starting to bleed and cramp so it was a relief in the end to be put under. It also meant after a few days I was phsyically 'back to normal'. My sister in law had the pessary and it took over 2 weeks for it to be complete, mentally I don't think I would have been able to handle that. But everyone is different and you must do what's right for you
Xx

BWatchWatcher Thu 22-Sep-16 07:46:49

Can you put the plumbers off and take some sick time of work?
I had a MMC (10 weeks but baby probably died at 7 weeks). I was already bleeding and to be honest it was just like a period.
I went out and ate a lot of spicey food and drank a copious amount of beer and that moved things on. I then kept busy in the house for a week.
To be honest there are so many emotions at work that I didn't want to be in work. I needed to be home.
You need to take time to grieve.
I'm sorry for your loss. I got pregnant the next cycle and have 2 children now. I hope it all works out for you!

ferriswheel Thu 22-Sep-16 07:49:16

I am so sorry to hear your news.

I returned to hospital the next day. In the morning I was given pills to take, which I did. I then waited and waited in hospital experiencing sore contractions. Eventually I was taken to get 'the procedure' where everything was removed. It was so, upsetting and undignified but the surgeons were excellent and there was almost no bleeding afterwards.

Physically I was fine within six weeks.

Emotionally I was a mess for a long time.

I now have a 1, 2 and 3 year old.

Feel free to pm me.

All the best.

Justwondering79 Thu 22-Sep-16 07:59:33

Thank you so much everyone, I really appreciate you all sharing your sad stories. Thankfully I already have a little boy so cuddling him is helping!

I think the surgery might be best, my husband is just worried about me, his concerns just echoed my own but I think I want things just over and done with.

No chance of ditching the plumbers, bathroom 70% complete, they'll be done by Tuesday hopefully! But not ideal at all!

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass Thu 22-Sep-16 08:03:21

With a MMC I would opt for surgery personally.

I've had two MC. One regular one at a little over 6 weeks and a MMC at around 10.

I had complications with my MMC. My body had tried to pass the pregnancy a few hours after the transvaginal scan confirmed the MC. I'm not entirely sure why or how but the pregnancy got stuck in the neck of my womb causing dangerously heavy bleeding and painful contractions. I was rushed back to hospital and within 10 minutes had the pregnancy removed via a speculum and little forceps, under G&A in the assessment room of the gynae ward. It all happened very fast and I was scared and confused. Apparently things could have ended very badly for me if I hadn't have t come in when did

I have had 2 missed miscarriages, one I had medical management and the other surgical. Have also had 2 natural miscarriages.

For me the natural ones were best but then the surgical. It just meant it was physically over and done with much quicker. It does sound like that might be best for you given your plumbers and work situation.

Sorry you are going through this.

Lesley

Hs2Issue Thu 22-Sep-16 08:05:25

I had a mmc with medical management at 10 weeks - pessaries. I said afterwards if I had to do it again I'd have surgery as it was a horrible experience. Also had natural mc at 8 weeks which wasn't quite as bad.

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass Thu 22-Sep-16 08:05:45

Clicked post too soon.

So for this reason alone if I was ever unfortunate enough to suffer another MMC I would want it surgically managed.

Frazzled2207 Thu 22-Sep-16 08:07:26

Sorry you're going through this. My sister had a similar experience recently and had the operation - she thought it was fine and pain wasn't too bad at all. It was the best thing for her.
Only thing is hospital couldn't fit her in for several days and she ended up paying privately to have it done sooner. Same procedure though.

IWillTalkToYouLater Thu 22-Sep-16 14:53:17

Yes, cuddles with my DD was definitely the best medicine smile. It is totally your choice how you wish to handle it, lets face it, none of the options are ideal, but you just have to go with the way you think will be best for you.

As I said, my experiences of surgery were positive. The nurses were lovely and although I was nervous of a GA, it really wasn't a big deal when it came to it. You are settled in bed, have a pessary (which didn't hurt) about an hour beforehand and at that point you have to stay put - bring something to take your mind off it (ipad/book/knitting/whatever). They took me to theatre and put a canula in my hand, which is a bit sore, but I had got used to blood tests by then and it isn't much different. Everyone went out of their way to explain what is happening and make small talk. I expected to feel myself 'drift off', but as soon as the anaesthetic went in, I was gone. I woke up comfortable in recovery and was given tea and toast back on the ward. When I was ready (an hour or so?), I got dressed and DH drove me home. I took the painkillers they gave me for a day or two, not because I needed it, but to keep the annoying dull ache at bay. Bleeding was no heavier than a normal period and subsided to 'light' within a couple of days, although took 10 days + to stop entirely. Everyone will be different on that though.

Sorry for waffling on, I just wanted to reassure you that it is not the huge ordeal you might imagine (I did first time).

Remember to look after yourself for a few weeks whatever you choose to do. All the best x flowers

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