Pregnancy of Unknown location

(11 Posts)
felineways Sun 11-Sep-16 07:33:42

Went for a private scan at 7 weeks as Id had some spotting and was worried about how disconnected I felt to this pregnancy ( ive had missed misscarriage before becoming pregnant with my son and this pregnancy happened straight after a chemical pregnancy). The scan showed a thick womb lining but absolutely nothing else.

Gp sent me straight to Epu lots of poking n prodding later no sign of pregnancy. Told either dates where wrong ( Id been having positives test for 3 1/2 weeks so chance of being less than 6 w pretty much nil), complete miscarriage (but no bleeding just odd spots no chance it wasn't a new pregnancy as Id had 2 weeks of negative tests between) ectopic ( thankfully no sign) or vanishing pregnancy.

Then Hgc results came back high and concern about ectopic increased I was told I can't be alone just incase. My family are away for fornight and OH working away on rare trip aboard so not the best timing. My MIL has been wonderful and dropped everything to be here and also take care of toddler while I'm in hospital for appointments. She isn't that keen on me and we have a slightly strained relationship to say the least. I'm keeping every emotion bottled up as it doesn't feel comfortable to show them.

Next bloods showed a slight drop in hgc which is encouraging. I now need to go in to be checked over every 48 hrs not every 24. It just feels like being stuck in limbo. I've been so concerned about keeping toddler safe if something serious happens and happy while im at hospital (im sahm so me being away for several 6 hrs daily and daddy not here as well is hard on him).

The Dr says if most likely 'the pregnacy is resolving itself is my body is absorbing it' and that they will never know where it was. I'm starting feel tidal wave emotions building. The grief for hopes of the baby and my families future. But while vanishing aspect makes me feel like a fraud.

Sorry this post is a huge brain dump. Id not heard of a pregnancy of unknown location and there seems to be less information on it than other types of loss. Has anyone else been through something similar ?

OtterSpace Mon 12-Sep-16 11:57:08

Hi felineways. I also was diagnosed with 'pregnancy of unknown location' a couple of weeks ago at my EPU, as all they could see was a small empty sac. However last week I had a scan showing growth and development of a yolk so they seem to be convinced that it is not ectopic. My hgc is also high (in line with the number of weeks pregnant I am). I've had bleeding and cramping but no clots, so as far as I know no official miscarriage yet but not looking good.

I feel grief too - although it may be that there was ever a baby, I feel a loss and hole in our family (I have an almost 3 year old DD) based on the expectation; I got excited looking at prams, researching my workplace maternity policy, etc. The worst thing is that my DD seemed to know I was pregnant (before I had a bfp) and casually named her 'sister' - lifting my tshirt, "Oh I'm just checking my sister 'x' is ok" sad My DH is finding it hard to feel the same as he is more pragmatic that it was never a baby sad Although he is very supportive I feel I am grieving alone.

Sorry not much help, but flowers and brew. Glad your MIL is helping and your toddler with have some continuity with a loving family member. Even if your relationship with your MIL is strained she must still care. It may even help your relationship in the long term as she is involved going though this with you?

OtterSpace Mon 12-Sep-16 12:04:10

I also found this recent article helpful from the Telegraph last week.

“The foundations of who they are have shifted,” she [Anna Whitehouse, who runs the Mother Pukka blog] says. “They’re grieving for a life, for a nursery they’ve started planning, for a future they had in their mind. They’d started thinking about names – they are saying goodbye to someone.."

felineways Mon 12-Sep-16 13:29:00

Oh otter so very sorry to hear your stuck in similar horrid situation. The waiting is just just awful isn't.

felineways Tue 13-Sep-16 09:37:50

So my hormone levels are dropping but by less than 5% every 48 hrs. So is hopeful but not conclusively resolving naturally ( a drop of 50% is ideal). It just feels like there is no end in sight.

Husband is home now and my little boy is a whole lot happier. It's also giving a bit of space to try and process these feelings. otter it must be so hard with your little girl being so excited too, heartbreaking for you to try and explain.

I think it is different for dads as it all feels less real in the early days. I found explaining that although my mind knows, my body doesn't and that the pregnancy hormones mean I feel all the normal pregnancy symptoms. In my body I feel just like I'm having a baby and that's upsetting and unsettling. I think that helps him understand that for me the grieving process hasn't started so we're on different pages. I also found that my husband spent so long being strong for me after our first misscarriage that it felt like he wasn't upset. It all came out later when we started ttc again.

I'm so sad for the changed future, christmas without a bump is upsetting me a lot today. I'm gently trying to think of things that will be nice for all of us. Looking at santa visits etc

I suspect the best thing might be to stop holding it all together and have a good cry soon. But the tears just won't come yet

catslife Tue 13-Sep-16 09:44:36

It was almost 20 years ago and I would have hoped that care and understanding would have improved since then (but it doesn't look like it) but this happened to me and was one of the worst periods of my life. They said it was very rare at the time (odds about a million to one) and it was particularly difficult as it was my first pregnancy and it had already taken a long time to get pregnant. I now have a daughter in her late teens.
You could both be in slightly different situations - my understanding is that if the HCG levels are going down then it is very unlikely that the foetus is still developing - the hospital may wish to do a d&c and a laparoscopy just to make sure that the womb is clear and the tubes aren't affected (this was the treatment 20 years ago and it may have changed). They may also want to do further tests before you try to get pregnant again.
I don't wish to put my full story on here but if either of you want to send me a pm that's fine.

loz12345 Tue 13-Sep-16 11:17:18

Feline and anyone else who has been/is going through this I am sorry for your lossesflowers.

I am waiting for a 2nd scan to see if I have mc and to check it isn't ectopic as they couldn't rule this out or to see if the sac that they think was there had developed. I think feline like you said it is the limbo that is the worse and the fact ur body still thinks you are pregnant.

I know what you mean about trying to hold it together, but please give yourself time to grieve don't bottle it up as it might be worse in the long run I had a mc last year which resulted in surgery I tried to carry on as normal went back to work and Carried in 6 months later I had to have a month off work as I was so stressed and anxious I was physically ill and exhausted as soon as I had that chance to grieve I felt much better.

I hope you get some answers to what is going on soon x x x

Mummios Wed 14-Sep-16 17:26:56

Hey, I'm in the exact same position. Positive pregnancy tests and then had small amount of bleeding. Have had 2x scans and 5 lots of blood tests now. Scans showed thick lining but no sac, hormone levels are very slowly dropping. EPU were very worried about a possible ectopic for a while but now they're saying I'm probably absorbing the miscarriage because my hormone levels are still too high for me have to lost it with the small amount of bleeding.
It's all so frustrating and the waiting has been unbearable!! I'm back in a few days time for more bloods, hopefully they'll have fallen considerably now so that I can move on and hopefully start trying to conceive another baby!
Very sad and rubbish times but trying to stay positive about the future of baby making!!

felineways Fri 16-Sep-16 13:54:11

Hi I hope everything is as well it can be for everyone. By Hcg levels have finally halved 10 days after the first blood test.

I will need testing until they reach zero but I feel so much better knowing it's going in the right direction. Hopefully they will be lower enough for morning sickness to stop soon and I can start processing the loss of the pregnancy a bit better

eckythumpenallthat Sat 17-Sep-16 22:17:50

Hi. I too experienced a PUL in May and it turned my world upside down. I had a misscarriage in Feb this year and had surgical management and after what I thought was a regular period in April it didn't stop and at first my dr thought 'retained product' but scans didn't show anything but hcg bloods came back positive. I had a week of backwards and forwardsing to the early pregnancy unit for bloods pretty much every 24-48 hours. Hcg levels remained static. Ultimately I had to have methotrexate which wasn't fun at all. I've never felt so ill in all my life. This was then followed by bloods every 48 hours until my hcg was below 2 and that took about 4 weeks. Then I was told wasn't allowed to TTC for 3 months. Mixed into this me and DH had to cancel the holiday we had booked after I'd had the Misscarriage in Feb as I had the methotrexate 5 days before we were due to fly and because of the monitoring and risk of rupture I was strongly advised not to leave the country. That was just another added blow. Physically I'm fine now but mentally this year has just been bloody tough

felineways Mon 19-Sep-16 07:15:42

Oh ecky you've really been through the mill. My first pregnancy was a missed misscarriage it was such a hard thing to deal with emotionally. I can't imagine then dealing with everything else you've had too.

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