Waiting for miscarriage, terrified after previous experience

[loz12345]

I am obviously awake in the middle of the night, I am approx 7 weeks pregnant and have started bleeding lightly I have a scan booked on Friday, but all symptoms have stopped so i am confident I know the outcome.

Last year I had a mmc found at 12 week scan I was measuring approx 9 weeks but there wasn't a heartbeat, I wasn't really given much info, but the said I could let nature take its course (even though in hindsight the sonographer did mention seeing a lot of blood) it started to happen a few days later but on day 4 I was admitted to a and e with blood loss, and had an emergency op, as the placenta had failed to detach, and narrowly avoided a transfusion.

I am terrified of what is going to happen i know each one is different but I don't want to tell family really and dh has to go to work leaving me to do school run ds is 6 and last time was aware of what was going on as we were on hol so want to shelter him as much as possible even tho he is asking questions as I was home from work yesterday when he got back from school and I felt awful telling him it is cos I on a course for the next week.

I don't know why I am posting (have posted on a couple of board I was on but thought I would start a thread hear as more appropriate) I just need to let it out

[sleepwhatsleep]

I don't have much experience to offer but didn't want to leave your thread unanswered. I am sorry for the loss you have had and that it happened to you.

Light bleeding can turn out ok. Is there any chance you could get a scan tomorrow?

[loz12345]

Thanks sleep

Unfortunately not, gp sorted it and Friday morning is the earliest they have tbh the timing of it has worked out quite well the unit opens at 10:30 so hopefully I won't be waiting too long and it means I can do the school run in the morning so hopefully ds will be non the wiser.

Tbh I know it won't be good news and bleeding has started getting worse I just don't want to be stuck worrying about it over the weekend as ooh service here is rubbish

[barkingtreefrog]

If it is bad news (and I know how annoying it is when people tell you bleeding can be normal and it's going to be okay when in your head you know as I've had three MCs myself) then losing at 7 weeks is unlikely to be as bad as losing later. The scan might show an empty sac, or a smaller embryo than your dates. Every MC is different but chances are if it's bad news it won't be a repeat of last time and should be manageable without having to let ds know.
Hoping it won't come to that though

[loz12345]

Thank you barking you are so right even GP said don't give up hope but when you have been there before (more than once ) you just know don't you.

I am getting cramps now so think something will happen soon (hopefully I can get through the school run ) x

[Dustpan]

Hi loz how are you doing now? Not sure if we have have been on an antenatal thread together. I've left thread as I started to miscarry on Mon at 7w. It's v tough isn't it.

Do you know what your options are if you do get sad news tomorrow? Can hosp help st all given your previous experience of mc?

This is my first mc (I hope so much so much it will be my only) but two close friends also had experiences like you describe with major blood loss and basically a traumatic time. I've no reason to think that should happen for me but I admit I'm scared.

So sorry to hear you are going through this, especially while trying to keep normal life going for Your DS.

[loz12345]

Dust I am so sorry you are going through this too, it's the waiting for it to happen that is awful I hope I get offered surgical management it's not for everyone but it takes the uncertainty out of it and I was back on my feet the following day.

They class the amount of mc's I have had as bad luck they only start investigating if it's 3 in a row not 3 overall.

Fingers crossed this will be your first and last one.

At the mo dh has his head firmly buried in the sand he really didn't want to try again after last time and this was a happy accident, he was going to have the snip but I think he has changed his mind.

Take ur time to deal with things but when I had my first mc the midwife said we could try again straight away 10 months to the day ds was born so try to stay positive.

I hope things are going as ok as they can do for u x x x x

[loz12345]

Managed to get a bit of sleep but have started cramping just want this over with now hopefully I will get through school run and to hospital. Dh is being massively unsupportive, he has to work apparently so off on my own and he is on about going out all day sat like normal leaving me with ds I am terrified something will happen when I am on my own with him u think I would be used to him burying his head in the sand by now

[Dustpan]

Hi loz, so sorry to hear your DH has his head in the sand and is leaving you by yourself, that is totally rubbish. Have you got anyone close by you can ask to come with you?

Yes the waiting is dreadful. I had no concept before this that there can be days of bleeding & waiting, I do just want it over and to know I can be at home when it happens. My work have been great & I have the week off but really hoping it's going to happen by the weekend. No way of controlling it I guess.

This sounds so hard for you to have had a happy "accident" pregnancy that was so much longed for, and now to lose it & DH think about permanent contraception. Would he respond if u suggest you both take a few weeks to let emotions & hormones settle after this is over. And then talk about the future once you've both had time to gather yourselves a bit?

It sounds like head in sand is poss his defence mechanism against the pain & sense of failure?

Take good care today & go slowly. Let us know how it goes x

[loz12345]

Hi dust, hope u r ok today (well not ok but you know what I mean).

You have totally worked him out it is totally his defence mechanism I know he is probably more upset than me and that he would love another not that he would admit it.

I don't really want to tell anyone about what's going on tbh, I have a rather demanding family and it would become all about them at least if I am on my own I can focus on myself when others are there I always take care of them over me iykwim.

I am glad your work are being good it makes it so much easier that's another reason I want it over and done with I will have been off over a month in just over a year due to this and feel a bit bad about it.

I hope you are getting loads of support and this always gets forgotten I think but that your partner is dealing with things ok as well x x x

[loz12345]

Ok soooo just had my scan and there is a perfectly formed sac at the top of my uterus but it is empty so not sure if I am a week later than I thought or if there is no baby ( which I think is the case as symptoms have disappeared, although I feel really sick) I have to wait another 10 days for another scan to see if anything has changed or to see if I miscarry in the meantime.

I thought last time was bad but at least it happened quickly.

No idea what to do about work though .......

[Dustpan]

Hi loz, glad you got news from the scan - how are you feeling about that?

Do you have any chance to work from home for a few days? Or if not, is work a long distance from home?

My DH is v calm and sturdy under pressure, then things tend to hit him afterwards. I'm worried how he will be after the event. Right now he's finding it tiring, I think emotionally as well as physically. I feel completely spent.

Hope your school pick up goes well

[loz12345]

Hi dust,

I'm not sure how I feel, I don't want to get my hopes up cos it is most likely going to be bad news but you can't help it can you.

I'm glad your dh is ok so far, he sounds like me business as usual at the time but it will hit me when it's all over.

I know what u mean about it being exhausting it's crap.

I should still be at work so pick up not done yet I feel quite bad leaving him in after school club but it's is routine and if I change it he will know something wrong, plus it gives me chance to watch tv. I think we r going to take him out for tea for being good on his first week back at school it feels strange carrying on as normal though.

I have called work they don't want me going in and it counts as maternity so won't affect anything so that's good.

I hope u r not stuck in limbo too long it's a rubbish place to be xx x

Try and have a relaxing weekend x

[Dustpan]

Hi loz did you have the second scan yet ? How are you doing? Best wishes