I need support during my miscarriage please!

(21 Posts)
LeannRegs Sun 17-Jul-16 21:00:36

Hi ladies,
On Friday I found out that I'm having a miscarriage. I was 5 weeks 5 days. I know it was early but I'm so devastated and depressed. My husband and I have been trying for almost 10 months and we were so excited. I don't know much about miscarriages so I'm asking for any support to make me feel better. I do keep hearing this is common, but I don't know anyone in my friends or family who has had a miscarriage. I'm also scared that this will happen again or maybe there is something wrong with me? The worst part about this is that I'm not even bleeding yet, just brown spotting after I wipe (sorry tmi) so I don't even know when this is going to happen or if it already happened. Thank you for listening and please again any support, words of encouragement, happy endings (if you've gone through a miscarriage and then got pregnant again), would be so appreciated at this time.

RoTo72 Sun 17-Jul-16 21:47:14

Hi. Sorry for ur loss, mine was way bk in November, and mine was a missed miscarriage, I opted for a d&c as the wait was killing me. Didn't want to read and not comment. Massive hugs, if u would like to pm for a chat feel free xxx

LeannRegs Mon 18-Jul-16 03:45:12

Thank you so much RoTo72, I may take you up on that if I get really sad again I will pm you to talk. <3

OlennasWimple Mon 18-Jul-16 03:48:50

Sorry flowers

You might find that some of your friends and family have suffered MCs, it's one of those things that is rarely talked about but if you ever do lots of people have a story to share. It's very hard, be kind to yourself (I didn't, I really shoukd have done)

Gingernut81 Mon 18-Jul-16 05:13:18

I had two miscarriages at around the same stage as you, it's horrible. I took a few days off work, partly due to the cramping and also because I was so upset. It may/may not happen again, there's no way to know unfortunately however I'm currently sat here with DD who is 10months old so it doesn't mean pregnancy is never going to happen. I was open with friends & colleagues and was amazed at how many said they'd suffered a miscarriage too. You will get a few well meaning numptys who manage to say something insensitive but it's generally because they have no idea what you're going through - my own mum was one of these!
Just take care of yourself, feel free to cry and try to look after your DP too, DH was just as devastated as me. flowers

LeannRegs Mon 18-Jul-16 18:11:26

Thank you for the support Gingernut81. You made me smile. I keep seeing abbreviations of DD, DP, DH...What do they mean? lol

MrsMillions Mon 18-Jul-16 18:37:31

Sorry for your loss. I've been there and it's an awful thing to go through.

If you look through the posts on this part of the forum, hopefully you'll find a thread called "coping with miscarriage - practical tips" or similar. I posted some advice on there as did many others. In fact I'll see if I can find it and bump it up to page 1 for you.

MrsMillions Mon 18-Jul-16 18:41:08

Found the thread and bumped it for you. X

MrsMillions Mon 18-Jul-16 18:44:11

D is dear/darling
DP = dear partner
DH = dear husband
DC/DD/DS = dear child/daughter/son - these may be followed by a number to indicate place in family (age order)

Hope that helps x

LeannRegs Mon 18-Jul-16 18:48:50

MrsMillions- THANK YOU xoxo

KazG71 Wed 20-Jul-16 12:10:00

Hi there. So sorry about your loss. I too had a confirmed miscarriage yesterday . I was 9 weeks pregnant and started bleeding Friday night and got rushed in a&e Monday with severe cramps and bleeding. Still bleeding and in a lot of pain. I had been trying on and off for 20 years to get pregnant but had no success. I finally fall unexpectedly for it to be taken away again. Feeling devastated as at 45 years time is running out! Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery x

LeannRegs Wed 20-Jul-16 19:54:33

Hi KazG71 I wish I could give you a big hug right now...I'm so sorry this just happened to you and you feel pain right now. Can I ask (since you said you've been trying 20 years on and off), have you been doing any fertility treatments? I can't imagine waiting 20 years to get pregnant and then BAM out of nowhere your baby is gone. I'm 29 years old and thought I would have at least 2 kids right now. That didn't happen. My DH and I have been trying since October so I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself, but I'm still devastated. How do you feel mentally right now? I want you to know that you have ever right to feel depressed. I feel so sad at the moment too and my family continually tells me it's okay to grief. We need to let it out. Please vent, I'm here to listen. I feel every ounce of pain you feel right now. <3

KazG71 Wed 20-Jul-16 20:23:17

Thanks leannregs...hugs back to you. It helps talking to others. Had my only child 20 years ago by using clomid due to fertility issues. She was a twin and lost one at 6 weeks. Tried on 3 more occasions with clomid since over last 20 years and nothing. When I hit 40 I decided to give up and accept my miracle daughter would be an only child. However got divorced and been with new partner 2 years now who has no kids. At 45 and 47 time was running out so did some research as we wanted kids together. Found something called fertilaid and got my BFP 1st month of taking it! Still in shock now.....and now it's gone. Life's so cruel sometimes sad xx

LeannRegs Thu 21-Jul-16 02:29:42

KazG71 Are you going to keep trying? Don't give up hope, it seems like the fertilaid worked for you. I'm happy to hear you have a daughter, but I can see how your new partner wants a child of their own. I hate the "waiting" part. I have to now wait for my next period to come so we can ttc again. I keep reading online that you can ovulate two weeks after a miscarriage but I also use clomid and doctor won't give it to me until my next period...not this one I'm experiencing at the moment :-( I'm still going to use ovulation predictor strips in about 10 days just to see maybe I will ovulate, but highly doubt I will without clomid.

KazG71 Thu 21-Jul-16 07:19:56

Hi Leannregs

Yes think we will try again asap as time not on our side. However at the mo all I can think about is the pain I'm in still. The pain is worse than labour pains and the codeine just not working. Bleeding is easing a bit now but think I need to call midwife as I'm sure I shouldn't still be in so much pain I'm doubled over in agony sometimes.

I also don't ovulate naturally so yes will have to take fertilaid again to assist and pray it works again. Need to talk to doctors or midwife first though I think as I am so so scared of going through this again. The emotional side aside but it's the physical pain I'm in right now that's getting me down. I read that you ovulate 2 weeks after too and that you can be more fertile after so is it possible we both may ovulate on our own without assistance this time? Guess it's just a waiting game for us both now x

LeannRegs Fri 22-Jul-16 06:20:07

HI KazG71- I need to vent...I'm just sooo fu**ing sad. I should be pregnant. I should be so happy to talk to my parents about a March baby and dreams of what we will do he/her is born. I'm having such a hard night tonight. My husband tells me thank god it was early and we can try once my period comes back but that could take almost 2 months. I need to be pregnant now to feel I can move on. I never thought this would happen to me. It's not fair. I feel as if time has stopped and all I can focus on is not being pregnant and having to wait another month or so until AF comes. I'm just so f****ing sad. I had two glasses of wine and a huge thing of ice cream to make me feel better but to tell you the truth I don't feel better one bit. I feel more sad. I feel sad that I even can drink. I should be pregnant and not drinking because my baby is in me. I feel pissed that my husband and I have been trying for 10 months and only to receive news that I miscarried. I'm a teacher and have the summer off and this ruined my entire summer. For the past 2 weeks I've been sleeping and/or not doing anything at home because I'm just so freaking sad. I feel so depressed. This is not me. I feel as if I'll never be pregnant again. I'm 29 and soooo want to be pregnant by the time I turn 30 which is March. My husband tells me I need to focus on the "now" and realize we can try again and again...but I can't see that. All I see right now is I f***ing miscarried and have to wait another month for AF to come. On top of this I got my haircut today and the hairdresser (who I've been to for the last 2 years) asked me if I had any kids and I said NO BUT I MISCARRIED LAST WEEK. She was like oh really I did two months ago. We both cried. It SUCKS. Omg thank you for letting me vent. xoxo

Lizziedoll Fri 22-Jul-16 11:50:03

I just wanted to say that I have just miscarried at 6 weeks and I am also devastated. I am so sorry for your loss flowers

LeannRegs Sat 23-Jul-16 02:46:28

Lizziedoll Sorry for your loss too <3... I just can't believe how one minute we are pregnant and so excited and then the next it's gone...I went from the biggest high of my life to the darkest low I've been. I feel lazy, I don't feel like leaving my house! I was hysterical last night crying to my DH, I feel bad he has to see me like this. :-( I just want the pain to go away...I don't want to wait any longer, just want to start trying now! Thanks for listening.

Lizziedoll Sun 24-Jul-16 04:36:07

All those emotions are normal and I've been experiencing them all too and been all over the place. My partner understands considering what's happened and I'm sure your hubby does too. Again I'm so sorry, I hope we will be more lucky next time and have a sticky bean flowers

LeannRegs Sun 24-Jul-16 20:06:59

Thank you Lizziedoll I feel better today. I do have my moments where it's all I can think about but each day feels a little better. I can't wait to start trying again. Baby dust all over here please <3

Lizziedoll Sun 24-Jul-16 20:52:03

I also feel a little better this evening and more hopeful. I also look forward to trying again, apparently only 2% of women have two miscarriages in a row so let's hope our next beans make it. Lots of love and luck to you xx

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