I hope it's okay to post here as I was only 5 weeks pregnant.
I was sooo happy when I found out I was pregnant. I've been wanting a third child since I had DC2. Eventually convinced DH it was a good idea so we had a month of 'seeing what happened'. Got a positive test and I'm was thrilled it had happened so quickly. Anyway the lines were faint so I kept testing and eventually got a negative and then bleeding. I'm absolutely gutted. I haven't stopped crying for about 3 days now.
Had a few chats with DH and he admitted that when I told him I was pregnant, it made him realise that he didn't actually want another child. He's now decided that he doesn't want to try again and I'm so upset.
I feel like I've lost my only chance of a third child now. I know I am so lucky to have my two children but I had gotten my hopes up for a third and now it's never going to happen.
Not really sure what I'm asking here. I hope my post doesn't come across as insensitive.
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Chemical pregnancy. DH decided he doesn't want to try again.
AlwaysNeverOnTime · 10/07/2016 17:11
Sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself.
"I need to talk about it. He also doesn't want me telling anyone."
Why on earth does he get to decide? He has no right to say that you shouldn't talk about it. It's your body and your emotions. You have every right to talk about it and get support elsewhere. This would be important even if he was being supportive - and he isn't!
Would you consider seeing a counsellor or therapist? That would be a safe space to talk and cry. It's also confidential so he shouldn't object (not that you need his permission).
I'm sorry OP
With respect to the physical symptoms that sounds like my earliest mcs, but do seek advice from your GP or early pregnancy unit if you're worried.
Suggest you speak to whoever can support you right now, a friend, relative or counsellor (alone or together). Your H is perhaps not able or willing to help at present, sadly. He doesn't get to dictate who you tell or don't tell about your loss.
He is entitled, of course, to his feelings about what's happened, but not to expect you to suppress your sadness and hurt.
Always I can completely empathise. We lost our first baby at 9 weeks in February, then we lost another at 4/5 weeks in April. I already have 2 DC from my previous marriage but, after DP and I discovered we were having our first one together, I was surprisingly over joyed and even DP (who never wanted his own children) was excited and getting all paternal with baby apps and researching baby stuff. Since we had the MMC it's all I can think of and the second loss felt like I was being kicked while I was down. DP decided a few weeks ago that he definietly does not want to try again and simply does not want his own children.
The heartbreak is unbearable and its a daily struggle. It has caused a huge rift in our otherwise perfect relationship.
Your DP must talk to you and allow you to talk it through, and he also has no right to tell you you cannot talk to anyone about it.
My DP and I talk about it regularly as I cannot go a single day without crying, but he has become frustrated with me lately and has said some very nasty things. Such as when I say "I'm grieving our babies" he told me it makes his "skin crawl" 
, my god that just killed me. But miscarriage effects people in such different ways, not that its an excuse.
You have to talk this through. I'm not saying it will fix things, but it will release at least some of the pressure.
It's awful and I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone. You're not only grieving for your baby, you're also grieving for the future child you had both agreed to create together.
I am so sorry
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