miscarriage at 18 weeks

(24 Posts)
yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 03:23:42

We found out that i was pregnant in February, my partner and i were excited as it was our first child. We were so happy because something this wonderful had happened to us.
But on June 4, I was home went to the wash room and there was this gush of blood. i could feel everything coming. A family member had to call the ambulance to take me to the hospital. i got there and was examined the dr told me definitely that i was about to miscarry. i was then admitted. they did an ultrasound and the baby was moving and there was a heartbeat but she was moving downwards getting ready for birth so there was nothing they could have done. Sunday morning; june 5 , they gave me medication to induce labour. by noon she was born but died afterwards. i got to see her, took a few photos and was also given the blanket and hat she was wearing for the photos. i was discharged on monday and since then i have been in tears. here typing these words i feel like im dreaming, to see something so wonderful happen then be taken from me is heartbreaking. its been 4 days since it happened and i feel completely lost and unable to cope.

ermmm Fri 10-Jun-16 03:29:53

Oh hun💐. So sorry for your loss.
can not imagine the grief you and your dh are going through.
It will take time to heal 4 days is v early you are bound to feel the way you do . Loads of hugs and well wishes ur way. (((-)))

Pinkheart5915 Fri 10-Jun-16 03:32:25

flowers

I had a stillbirth at 30 weeks a few years ago so I now some of the pain you must feel, my heart really goes out to you I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Do you want to talk about your baby? Did you give a name? We named our DD Emily.

When you are ready do think about contacting SANDS they were very good to me and dh when we lost our DD, offer a lot of support.
Do try to talk to you dp about how you feel as much as you can, you are each other's support.

I promise although it won't feel like it now, in time the pain does ease.

Strokethefurrywall Fri 10-Jun-16 03:32:58

I'm here. I am so deeply sorry to hear about your utterly tragic loss. I imagine it doesn feel real.
You don't have to speak or write anything unless you want to. Just know that there is someone across an ocean, thinking and praying for you and your partner in this truly sad sad time.
I hope you're able to allow yourself to be looked after and comforted by your loved ones.
And please know that it is nothing, absolutely nothing you did. It was not your fault. You may not believe this now or even in the near future but it is the truth.

Sending you so much love at this time thanks

jaffajiffy Fri 10-Jun-16 03:33:46

Oh you poor thing. How utterly awful. I'm so sorry for your loss. I have had three miscarriages but all at 10w or earlier, and I can't imagine your pain. I'm awake and saw your post and wanted to offer a hand hold. It's so soon and raw. You don't need to be strong yet. Just take time and cry and grieve. Does someone know you feel you can't cope? Are you able to eat? How is your partner?

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:43

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:44

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:44

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:44

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:46

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:46

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:46

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:48

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:48

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:48

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:48

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:48

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:49

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:49

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 04:10:49

thank you for your kind words. i havent really talked about how i feel except to my partner. he tries to comfort me and helps me through the really difficult times. my family members dont know what to say or how to react so they avoid the subject altogether.

AvaMercy Fri 10-Jun-16 13:59:15

Yurianna, I am so so sorry that this has happened to you. I just wanted to say that I think I understand some of what you're going through.

I had a miscarriage a day short of 18weeks two months ago and the circumstances you've detailed are incredibly similar.

Such a loss like this is so hard to cope with and especially after only 4 days.

I'm still struggling every day but I feel like very very slowly, I'm making some progress. But it's hard. I understand what you mean about family and friends. For me, very little of what they are saying, or have said to me helped and because of that I pushed them away. But I'm slowly learning that a late miscarriage is hard enough without trying to do it without support.

I've also recently gotten in contact with the hospital counsellor and I have an appointment soon which I'm relieved about. I've always been a bit unsure of whether counselling was for me but now I'm just really relieved that I'm going to have a chance to talk to someone about everything that's going on in my head.

Were you offered counselling by your hospital? It could be something that you find helpful. But obviously I understand that it is not something everyone wants to do.

Anyway, I just wanted to respond to you so you know that you're not alone. There are people who understand what you have been through and won't be freaked out if you speak about what happened to you and how you are feeling.

Take care. Xx

yurianna201 Fri 10-Jun-16 14:15:09

Thank you so much and I am so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your stories with me. I felt really alone unaware that other women have faced similar circumstances as I have. Unfortunately I didn't name my dd it just didn't come to me at that time as I was in disbelief

JOMH1982 Fri 10-Jun-16 21:17:54

I'm so sorry for your loss. We have a four year old but have lost three babies in the last three years, the last of which was a little girl the day before my twenty week scan, having lost my waters the week before unexpectedly ten days before Christmas last year. The rawness of the pain, guilt, horror of it all, is still there, but I've already been through the worst and I'm still here, so hang in there, you're not alone xx

Sophiehfz2805 Fri 10-Jun-16 23:17:49

Im so sorry for your loss, the exact same thing has happened to me except from it was a little bit different. It all happened 25th of may, so two weeks ago.. I was 19weeks 1 days pregnant when my little boy was born. My waters had broken early and cervix was open ready for baby. I had no idea at allsad it was so worrying and scary. I hope you are okay and again, im sorry😣❤️

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